Disclaimer: I do own LOTR and I order all of you lowly writers to make the dwarf wear pink MUHAHAHAHAHHA. No seriously I do not own LOTR.... darn.
Chapter 2: Surprise! You're on candid camera
The rest of the day passed without a hitch. Everyday I make it a point to do or say three stupid things to throw people off of the fact that I get perfect scores on all of my tests. It works, people can be so ignorant.
After school Jake and I walked to my house. It took a half of an hour but he didn't really care, I bet that he thought it would be a good time to lecture me on how to use a computer properly I t turns out that I did win that bet against myself and owed me five dollars. I reverted all of his words into blah blah blah language so that I could go through a check list in my brain to make sure that I was ready for the dimension leap. 'Coordinates... check, body program... check, pendant... check, no......'
"Yes I do know how to charge a computer battery," I replied to his question about his own laptop. 'He just had to break my train of thought.'
His incessant babbling continued for the rest of the walk. I swear if he wasn't going to control home base I would stuff one of my stinky socks in his mouth, but then the stench would kill him and I can't have him dying. .......Wait... could it be....
"My house, thank God!" I screamed at the top of my lungs while taking off at a sprint towards it. I was beginning to go deaf from Jake.
"Hey, Kell wait up," he yelled, but there was no way that I was going to slow down until I got to my room.
Once I reached my room I closed the door, ran into my walk in closet and began to heave a 250lb. computer on rollers out of it. See, I figure that if I can surprise Jake enough that his tong will be paralyzed long enough for me to explain.
I can hear his footsteps as he runs up the stairs and down the hall to my room. I can not wait to see his face. Countdown T minus 5,4,3,2...
"What the heck" Jake whispers in surprise.
As I pat my super computer I begin to list the specs for him.
"4182 megabits of ram, 40 gigahertz processor....."I drawl on like it was no big deal that I had built the most powerful computer on the planet. Just while I was listing the hard drive space I heard a thud.
"Jake, dude are you ok," no response. Maybe I should have warned him first.
All was ok after I used the clorophorm on him and he was revived.
"Kell, where did you steal that computer from?" he asked in a creped out tone.
"I didn't," was my casual reply.
"Yeah, like you built it," he laughed off.
"Ding,ding,ding," I say in that game show sort of voice," You have won the grand prize, an all expense payed trip to middle earth."
"Uh, Kell, we are on earth,"
"Ok, Jake shut up and let me explain EVERYTHING to you." I led him to the couch so that he could sit down incase he decided to take a mental vacation again. I began to tell my very long story.
"First of all, I am a genius. I don't mean 150IQ genius, I mean I could beat Einstein in a sudden death math match genius. I have been hiding this from all of the people in my life so don't feel like you have been left out of an inside joke. I have been this way since I was old enough to remember. I could read at the age of two and do advanced equations at the age of six which is when I began to get involved in physics. I became enthralled with the theory of other worlds when I figured out that the theory could be used to, in lamens terms, to "custom design a dimension" I decided to try to make the calculations to find The Lord of the Rings Middle Earth. It was too hard to do by hand so once I was ten I began to build this," I wave my hand towards the huge metal box, "supercomputer." Pause for effect and to give Jakes eyeballs time to retract back into their sockets. "You see, the thing is that I need someone to control it while I am in middle earth and who better than my computer genius friend Jake."
"............" Jake didn't feel like talking.
"I guess I will keep explaining," I watch his chest to make sure that he is still breathing, he is, good. "I wouldn't ask you to do this if I could just have a remote control, the problem is that wavelengths don't really travel through dimensions. I have to control the computer from home base then and even if I asked someone else to man it so I could go they would not know when to pull me out unless...."I reach over and grab what appears to be a bike helmet with a sun glasses attached to it," That person's personality could come with me and I would be able to communicate with home base because I have found in my calculations that a ones body and mind could communicate with one another if in different dimensions. The cool thing is that you will not age in real life or your hologram because I routed the computer to make every year in Middle Earth one second in Earth time. That way you can come back from this life and go along your way. I will come back to the time right after I left so my life wouldn't have changed either!"
"So, what you are trying to say is that you want me to put that thing on and separate my body from my soul and go with you?" he asked in astonishment.
"In short, yeah"
"You. Are. Insane.……. No that can't be it, where is the "candid camera" crew." he calmly stated.
"Oh, come on please. Don't you remember that time when you wanted to date my friend Andrea and I hooked you two up, you owe me." I hate begging.
"I admit that I owe you but not that much."
"Well..... think of it as a learning experience. I mean, when else are you going to get to experience the full potential that computers have because I guarantee that unless someone as smart as me comes along and decides to devote their life to this, because you will no see a computer this powerful again!" I said with an 'I got you just where I want you ' Tone while placing my hands on my hips.
"Well, can't you use the computer for other things, like solving world hunger?" he weakly questioned. He knew that he was fighting a losing battle.
"This computer was created for one reason only, to transport me to Middle Earth, so if I can't do that I will destroy It." it sounded like I was dead serious, but I wasn't. Who in their right mind would destroy a mega powerful super computer. At the moment though I doubt that Jake is coherently reasoning and he probably doubts knowing the real me.
I see his eyes widen in fear at the mention of my threat. I got him. He has to say yes now just to save the computer.
"ugggggg.... ok, ok. I will do it."
"YES! SCORE!" I screeched. This is working out perfectly.
"Just answer this question," He asks hesitantly. "Why me?"
"Well.. You are the best computer technician that I have met so I know that when I am in Middle Earth and if by some freak accident the computer gets wrecked you could probably fix it. The person that comes with me has to be within a mile of me at all times because their image is a hologram projected from this," I held up a necklace with moonstone beads that I had created," and I figure that it would be nice to be friends with the person that I was going to see day in and day out. Also the last and most important thing, I trust you with my life." I sincerely meant it too.
"Good reason."
"Well we do not have a lot of time because the dimension storm ends in one hour." I said
"The what?" Jake asked. Poor guy he's confused.
"It is a time when the barriers between dimensions are weak and it becomes easier to breach them." I responded while hooking up wires and cables to my computer.
"Another good reason." he stated.
I spent the next half of an hour briefing him on the basics of my supercomputer. Jake wanted to know how I was actually going to transport dimensions so I ran into my closet and pulled out a very large aluminum foil ring that was six feet in diameter. It had a USB cable coming out of it.
"This is what is going to create the vortex." I responded.
"An aluminum foil circle, why am I not surprised," he said.
"I figured that if I layed it on the ground that gravity could pull me through the vortex," I retorted. I was not in the mood to be questioned.
"Whatever," he replied. "So if I have this helmet thing on while you go through dimensions my essence will come with you.
"Yep,yep," I replied. "Ok, everything is set up right?"
"Yeah I finished with my half'" he answered.
"Good because there are a few things that are going to change about me when I go through that vortex and I only have about ten minutes to explain. First of all "I" am not traveling through dimensions my mater is and the computer program that I wrote is going to rearrange them to reform my body. The difference about me will be the fact that I am not going to be human... You see when I finally found Middle Earth on my computer it relayed all of the information from it to me. So in short I know what makes up an elf. They don't really have cells, it is hard to explain what they consist of but my computer knows and that is the only thing that matters. They consist of matter and since they do I can become one of them because in a sense I am going to be broken down into only particles of matter. I may look a little different when we reach Middle Earth for that reason." I hope that he caught that.
"Why would you want to become an elf?" he asked bewildered.
"I figured that since the human tribes/countries in this dimension are not exactly sweet and kind to outsiders and Elves are a lot wiser and they would probably accept me into their culture and not try to hack my head off if I had a trade and did not seem like a threat. After I thought of all of this I concluded that being an elf would be better. That is why I spent a year writing a program that will rearrange the particles of my body to become one." 'I don't have time for this, the dimension storm will be over in ten minutes.
"Ok, that makes sense." Jake replied.
"Lets get back to work the storm will be over soon." I was annoyed we did not have much time left.
We ran all of the systems on the computer. Jake put on the helmet and I put on my necklace. Seven minutes later and we were ready. I had stepped into the middle of the aluminum circle on the floor.
" Jake do you see that red button on the monitor?" I asked
"PUSH IT" I commanded.
He pushed the button and I felt like I was falling. I stopped falling and all I couldn't see anything, not dark or light, nothing. At that moment I did not have a body I was just a cloud of atoms and subatomic particles.
I could not feel on a physical level but at a mental level I felt at peace because I had none of the worries of a body.
That sensation ended too soon as I felt my body again and I was still falling.... until I hit something hard. I expected it to be the ground and I was right. I opened my eyes and groaned, there was Jake looking over me, oh joy. Can you smell my sarcasm.
" I guess we are here" Jake said while looking around.
I sat up and looked at where I had landed because in truth I had no idea where I was going to end up in Middle Earth. I only knew that I was going to end up in Middle Earth.
"These are the plains of Rohan" I stated for Jakes knowledge.
"Nice place" he sarcastically stated as he scanned the horizon which to my knowledge would be mostly rock, grasses, and some lichen here and there.
Suddenly he turned back to me and began to laugh his head off.
"What?" I asked.
"LOOK AT YOUR CLOTHES," he barely was able to force out.
I did look at my clothes and guess what I saw. I saw leggings, a tunic and Elvin boots. The unexpected thing was that they all looked liked they were tie dyed. 'Damn it' I thought 'I can't believe that I went through all of that trouble and forgot to describe to the computer what color I wanted my clothes to be.
I am Kellyn, the time traveling elf in tie dyed clothes. Go me.
(A/N)
I hope you liked it.
PLEASE REVIEW =)
Naamarrie,
Lorac
Chapter 2: Surprise! You're on candid camera
The rest of the day passed without a hitch. Everyday I make it a point to do or say three stupid things to throw people off of the fact that I get perfect scores on all of my tests. It works, people can be so ignorant.
After school Jake and I walked to my house. It took a half of an hour but he didn't really care, I bet that he thought it would be a good time to lecture me on how to use a computer properly I t turns out that I did win that bet against myself and owed me five dollars. I reverted all of his words into blah blah blah language so that I could go through a check list in my brain to make sure that I was ready for the dimension leap. 'Coordinates... check, body program... check, pendant... check, no......'
"Yes I do know how to charge a computer battery," I replied to his question about his own laptop. 'He just had to break my train of thought.'
His incessant babbling continued for the rest of the walk. I swear if he wasn't going to control home base I would stuff one of my stinky socks in his mouth, but then the stench would kill him and I can't have him dying. .......Wait... could it be....
"My house, thank God!" I screamed at the top of my lungs while taking off at a sprint towards it. I was beginning to go deaf from Jake.
"Hey, Kell wait up," he yelled, but there was no way that I was going to slow down until I got to my room.
Once I reached my room I closed the door, ran into my walk in closet and began to heave a 250lb. computer on rollers out of it. See, I figure that if I can surprise Jake enough that his tong will be paralyzed long enough for me to explain.
I can hear his footsteps as he runs up the stairs and down the hall to my room. I can not wait to see his face. Countdown T minus 5,4,3,2...
"What the heck" Jake whispers in surprise.
As I pat my super computer I begin to list the specs for him.
"4182 megabits of ram, 40 gigahertz processor....."I drawl on like it was no big deal that I had built the most powerful computer on the planet. Just while I was listing the hard drive space I heard a thud.
"Jake, dude are you ok," no response. Maybe I should have warned him first.
All was ok after I used the clorophorm on him and he was revived.
"Kell, where did you steal that computer from?" he asked in a creped out tone.
"I didn't," was my casual reply.
"Yeah, like you built it," he laughed off.
"Ding,ding,ding," I say in that game show sort of voice," You have won the grand prize, an all expense payed trip to middle earth."
"Uh, Kell, we are on earth,"
"Ok, Jake shut up and let me explain EVERYTHING to you." I led him to the couch so that he could sit down incase he decided to take a mental vacation again. I began to tell my very long story.
"First of all, I am a genius. I don't mean 150IQ genius, I mean I could beat Einstein in a sudden death math match genius. I have been hiding this from all of the people in my life so don't feel like you have been left out of an inside joke. I have been this way since I was old enough to remember. I could read at the age of two and do advanced equations at the age of six which is when I began to get involved in physics. I became enthralled with the theory of other worlds when I figured out that the theory could be used to, in lamens terms, to "custom design a dimension" I decided to try to make the calculations to find The Lord of the Rings Middle Earth. It was too hard to do by hand so once I was ten I began to build this," I wave my hand towards the huge metal box, "supercomputer." Pause for effect and to give Jakes eyeballs time to retract back into their sockets. "You see, the thing is that I need someone to control it while I am in middle earth and who better than my computer genius friend Jake."
"............" Jake didn't feel like talking.
"I guess I will keep explaining," I watch his chest to make sure that he is still breathing, he is, good. "I wouldn't ask you to do this if I could just have a remote control, the problem is that wavelengths don't really travel through dimensions. I have to control the computer from home base then and even if I asked someone else to man it so I could go they would not know when to pull me out unless...."I reach over and grab what appears to be a bike helmet with a sun glasses attached to it," That person's personality could come with me and I would be able to communicate with home base because I have found in my calculations that a ones body and mind could communicate with one another if in different dimensions. The cool thing is that you will not age in real life or your hologram because I routed the computer to make every year in Middle Earth one second in Earth time. That way you can come back from this life and go along your way. I will come back to the time right after I left so my life wouldn't have changed either!"
"So, what you are trying to say is that you want me to put that thing on and separate my body from my soul and go with you?" he asked in astonishment.
"In short, yeah"
"You. Are. Insane.……. No that can't be it, where is the "candid camera" crew." he calmly stated.
"Oh, come on please. Don't you remember that time when you wanted to date my friend Andrea and I hooked you two up, you owe me." I hate begging.
"I admit that I owe you but not that much."
"Well..... think of it as a learning experience. I mean, when else are you going to get to experience the full potential that computers have because I guarantee that unless someone as smart as me comes along and decides to devote their life to this, because you will no see a computer this powerful again!" I said with an 'I got you just where I want you ' Tone while placing my hands on my hips.
"Well, can't you use the computer for other things, like solving world hunger?" he weakly questioned. He knew that he was fighting a losing battle.
"This computer was created for one reason only, to transport me to Middle Earth, so if I can't do that I will destroy It." it sounded like I was dead serious, but I wasn't. Who in their right mind would destroy a mega powerful super computer. At the moment though I doubt that Jake is coherently reasoning and he probably doubts knowing the real me.
I see his eyes widen in fear at the mention of my threat. I got him. He has to say yes now just to save the computer.
"ugggggg.... ok, ok. I will do it."
"YES! SCORE!" I screeched. This is working out perfectly.
"Just answer this question," He asks hesitantly. "Why me?"
"Well.. You are the best computer technician that I have met so I know that when I am in Middle Earth and if by some freak accident the computer gets wrecked you could probably fix it. The person that comes with me has to be within a mile of me at all times because their image is a hologram projected from this," I held up a necklace with moonstone beads that I had created," and I figure that it would be nice to be friends with the person that I was going to see day in and day out. Also the last and most important thing, I trust you with my life." I sincerely meant it too.
"Good reason."
"Well we do not have a lot of time because the dimension storm ends in one hour." I said
"The what?" Jake asked. Poor guy he's confused.
"It is a time when the barriers between dimensions are weak and it becomes easier to breach them." I responded while hooking up wires and cables to my computer.
"Another good reason." he stated.
I spent the next half of an hour briefing him on the basics of my supercomputer. Jake wanted to know how I was actually going to transport dimensions so I ran into my closet and pulled out a very large aluminum foil ring that was six feet in diameter. It had a USB cable coming out of it.
"This is what is going to create the vortex." I responded.
"An aluminum foil circle, why am I not surprised," he said.
"I figured that if I layed it on the ground that gravity could pull me through the vortex," I retorted. I was not in the mood to be questioned.
"Whatever," he replied. "So if I have this helmet thing on while you go through dimensions my essence will come with you.
"Yep,yep," I replied. "Ok, everything is set up right?"
"Yeah I finished with my half'" he answered.
"Good because there are a few things that are going to change about me when I go through that vortex and I only have about ten minutes to explain. First of all "I" am not traveling through dimensions my mater is and the computer program that I wrote is going to rearrange them to reform my body. The difference about me will be the fact that I am not going to be human... You see when I finally found Middle Earth on my computer it relayed all of the information from it to me. So in short I know what makes up an elf. They don't really have cells, it is hard to explain what they consist of but my computer knows and that is the only thing that matters. They consist of matter and since they do I can become one of them because in a sense I am going to be broken down into only particles of matter. I may look a little different when we reach Middle Earth for that reason." I hope that he caught that.
"Why would you want to become an elf?" he asked bewildered.
"I figured that since the human tribes/countries in this dimension are not exactly sweet and kind to outsiders and Elves are a lot wiser and they would probably accept me into their culture and not try to hack my head off if I had a trade and did not seem like a threat. After I thought of all of this I concluded that being an elf would be better. That is why I spent a year writing a program that will rearrange the particles of my body to become one." 'I don't have time for this, the dimension storm will be over in ten minutes.
"Ok, that makes sense." Jake replied.
"Lets get back to work the storm will be over soon." I was annoyed we did not have much time left.
We ran all of the systems on the computer. Jake put on the helmet and I put on my necklace. Seven minutes later and we were ready. I had stepped into the middle of the aluminum circle on the floor.
" Jake do you see that red button on the monitor?" I asked
"PUSH IT" I commanded.
He pushed the button and I felt like I was falling. I stopped falling and all I couldn't see anything, not dark or light, nothing. At that moment I did not have a body I was just a cloud of atoms and subatomic particles.
I could not feel on a physical level but at a mental level I felt at peace because I had none of the worries of a body.
That sensation ended too soon as I felt my body again and I was still falling.... until I hit something hard. I expected it to be the ground and I was right. I opened my eyes and groaned, there was Jake looking over me, oh joy. Can you smell my sarcasm.
" I guess we are here" Jake said while looking around.
I sat up and looked at where I had landed because in truth I had no idea where I was going to end up in Middle Earth. I only knew that I was going to end up in Middle Earth.
"These are the plains of Rohan" I stated for Jakes knowledge.
"Nice place" he sarcastically stated as he scanned the horizon which to my knowledge would be mostly rock, grasses, and some lichen here and there.
Suddenly he turned back to me and began to laugh his head off.
"What?" I asked.
"LOOK AT YOUR CLOTHES," he barely was able to force out.
I did look at my clothes and guess what I saw. I saw leggings, a tunic and Elvin boots. The unexpected thing was that they all looked liked they were tie dyed. 'Damn it' I thought 'I can't believe that I went through all of that trouble and forgot to describe to the computer what color I wanted my clothes to be.
I am Kellyn, the time traveling elf in tie dyed clothes. Go me.
(A/N)
I hope you liked it.
PLEASE REVIEW =)
Naamarrie,
Lorac