Disclaimer: Harry Potter 'tis not mine!

Hem Hem This, Hem Hem That

Chapter Fifteen ll MuglsongsnNtepasin

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HISTORY OF MAGIC.

What did Binns just say about the Hopees?

James wrote this slowly and carefully in neat writing on a scrap piece of parchment and slid it over to Lily casually.

Lily had her chin propped in her hand and her eyes slid down towards the note. Sighing, she unpropped her chin and used both hands to unfold the parchment. Really, Potter had better stop passing notes or...

Like you care.

James read this with a bemused smile.

You're so right. So how are you, my pumpkin?

Potter, DO NOT CALL ME PUMPKIN. Even if I permitted that, I am most certainly not your pumpkin. And, you're a LOSER. The end. Case closed. Good BYE!

That really hurt. You're making me cry, pumpkin. Do you want that on your conscience?

Hey, don't just scrunch up the note and chuck it at my head.

For the love of Merlin, Lily!

You're wasting precious parchment!

Potter, sod off and leave me alone!

Finally, you speak/write!

...Whatever, man! I need to listen to Binns to pass my N.E.W.T.S, so please LEAVE ME ALONE!

You're gorgeous.

Upon reading this, Lily rolled her eyes, crumpled the note in her hand and tossed it over her shoulder. She looked defiantly at James and resumed her position before the note era started.

James was staring at her, shocked, his mouth the perfect 'O'.

Meddy opened her bleary eyes when a rolled up and wrinkly bit of parchment hit her on her nose. Curiously sleepy, she moaned something about being a natural brunette and unwrapped the parchment. She became relatively awake when she finished reading, and picked up Emily's quill to write a note of her own.

Lil, thanks the for note. It was amusing. Next time, however, please do not use me as a rubbish bin. I was dreaming!

With that, Meddy folded the crinkled parchment neatly, leant forward and slid it under her friend's arm. Then she crossed her own arms and buried her head in it, hoping that maybe she'd return back to her dream.

When the redhead glanced down to draw the diagram on the blackboard, she saw, yet, another note. Of course, it would be from that stupid Potter. Who else would send her notes?

So without even reading it, she picked up her diary and brought it down heavily on James' head.

"OOOOWWWIE!"

Very glad to have a disruption, the class immediately looked at James whose face was confronted with pain as he rubbed the back of his head. Lily's seemingly innocent diary was sitting on her desk as she raised her eyebrows at James as if she didn't know him.

"Please restrain yourself, Perkins."

"What the f-- Um, yes sir."

As Professor Binns resumed his lesson, James almost tore apart his book as he grabbed some parchment and scribbled on it.

What was that for?!

Potter, don't be such a git. You sent me another note when I specifically asked you not to.

You little... skow, what note have you "imagined" into existence? After you threw the last one at Meddy, I decided that no more parchment should be wasted on you!

Lily tossed the note she still hadn't read at James, shooting him a "SEE!" look. Then she turned away from him as if she had better things to do.

James unfolded the note, read it, sighed, and wrote back.

Meddy sent that, you skow.

Lily turned a delicate shade of scarlet as she, too, read the note Meddy had written.

Okay, okay. I'm sorry.

SHOCK HORROR! Did you know... that I have never received an apology from you before?

You haven't?

Well, I can't remember. But this is certainly something I'll be showing our children and grandchildren and their children!

Potter, I'll marry Snape and have five kids with him before considering having children with you.

Lily, that went a little too far!

I know. Oh, words come back!

Could you just -- ERM -- cross them out, maybe?

James smiled with satisfaction when Lily replied, with a neat line running through her former disturbing message.

Okay, I've crossed it out. Happy?

As a peacock.

I think it's 'as proud as a peacock'.

Oh. I knew that.

Fine. Bar me. Why must you always pass notes but then stop halfway?

Lily! ANSWER ME! You're gonna make me cry!

Oh yeah, real mature. Stop flicking the note back at me!

Hi Prongsie.

Li-- Padfoot? What are you doing here?

Um, I think you were attempting to give the parchment to Lily. But I got it instead. :)

That's not good.

:o That is so mean! I'm barring you.

Great, 2 people are barring me now.

---

DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS.

JP- Snape is a git. I feel like... feeding him jelly. Hehehe. So much jelly he'll never be able to eat again without blowing up! Bwahahahahaha. Moment of insanity passed.

RL- James, you should seriously pay attention.

JP- Rem, don't worry. Padfoot and I always pass our exams. Just the matter of cramming the night before.

SB- Yo, saw my name. Talking about me?

JP- Not in that way.

SB- Oooh, mental disturbing images.

RL- STOP IT!!! Okay, I refuse to take part in this--

Sirius tore the note away from him in excitement.

SB- Masturbation!

JP- Aww, Padfoot. That's festy.

The boys stopped writing/passing notes for a second as their DADA teacher talked about the three Unforgivable Curses.

RL- Wow. The killing curse.

JP- That's like pure evil.

Sirius grimaced at the message. He had many horrible memories of his dark family. Or rather, the people he were related to. Certainly not a family...

James noticed the look on Sirius' face. He quickly snatched the note and began scribbling with his eagle quill.

JP- Sorry Padfoot. Anyway, Wormtail hasn't made much of an appearance in this lovely note passing session.

PP- Here I am. Everyone bow down and worship me. Muahahahahahaha. Greetings earthlings. And--

RL- Sirius, it's so obvious it's you.

JP- Ditto. Besides, I saw you writing it before Remus took it off you.

SB- Well, can't blame a guy for trying, can you?

JP/RL- Sure we can.

SB- :o Fine, cut me. I'm going to talk to PETER. He is a GOOD friend.

James and Remus snickered as Sirius picked up the note, scrunched it into a ball and tossed it to Peter. It landed easily on his desk, right in front of his nose.

SB- Why hello Wormtail. Lovely day?

PP- You guys had a notepassing session without me!

SB- Erm... no... You're in it now, aren't you? I mean, you just wrote something...

PP- ...I guess. Hey, who was pretending to be me--

Sirius (who had eyes of an eagle) reached over and snatched the note from Peter, upon seeing what he was writing. Smiling sheepishly at his quiet friend, Sirius poked the note in his pocket just as the teacher swept over him.

"What was that, Mr. Black?"

"Um."

"Give it to me, please," the professor said sharply, holding out her hand expectantly.

Sirius slowly reached into his pocket, trying hard to remember what had been written in the note. Coming to the conclusion that there was nothing too personal or gross on the parchment, he willingly gave it to the teacher who shot him a look and walked off, tossing the note in the wastepaper basket.

James smiled faintly as he watched their teacher throw away precious memories... not... Then he perked up a little when he saw Lily pass him a note.

Gaspshockhorror.

You guys were passing notes again, huh? You should really stop.

Pumpkin, what are you doing right now?

That's beside the point, Potter. I will hand out detentions, you know. For continual disobedience.

YOU LITTLE HYPOCRITE!

Shut up, Potter.

Lily was blushing a little.

Okay, anything for you, my little pumpkin.

Lily rolled her eyes in disgust and tossed the note on the floor, just as a whizzing ball came flying at James' head.

"Ow..." with a sigh, James unravelled the parchment and read it reluctantly.

It was from Sirius.

I see you and Lily are gettin' it on!

That is so completely wrong.

I know. It's not my fault. I was born with a perverted mind and it shall stay that way.

...Uh oh, practical session, coming up. No more notes.

AWWWWWWWWW... well, see you in Potions!

I think that's also a practical lesson.

Well, STUFF THAT!

The class were organized into partners, then were told to practice the counter-curses for a hex they had been learning about.

"Ayrena!"

"AHHHHHHHH!" Emily hollered as she ran around in circles, her sleeve on fire.

"Holy hell!" squealed Meddy, "I'm so sorry, Em!"

"Sorry doesn't put the fire out!"

So while they tried to find some solution (and they remembered how to extinguish fires with their wands-- sixth year, Charms), Lily, who was paired off with a girl named Rinoa Li, kept glancing over at James. Just for... safety reasons. Who knew what the boy could with a wand and several jinxes being learnt?

Yes, safety reasons.

Safety reasons only.

Nothing more.

"Miss Walker-- Miss Walkerdon!" their professor shouted over the repeated shrieks coming from Emily, and the yells and shouts from the other students. The counter-curse was shooting all sorts of different coloured jets of light across the classroom, bouncing off walls and books and furniture and causing others to scream and duck.

Emily and Penny both stopped and turned around.

"No, you're fine," the teacher told Penny breathlessly before turning to Emily, "You, however... Miss Kerrin and you had better sit out for now and start on your homework." She was glancing warily at Emily's burnt sleeve as she spoke.

So Meddy and Emily resignedly returned to their seats and pulled out their workbooks and such. Meddy, who got her work done more often and efficiently than the twins did, had already gotten her title written down, as well as a few words of a sentence.

Kallifstone's Opinion On Countercurses

Robert Kallifstone's opinion on counter curses have a fair

As soon as she finished her legible 'r', a note from Emily came wandering over. The rest of the class were screaming out jinxes and such and it was sort of distracting. But after a few years of being in the same class, you get used to it.

MED!! I am in serious hot water. What are we supposed to do for the essay? --Em.

Sighing, Meddy replied back to Emily's needs.

Read chapter seven of that book on your RIGHT and then put down the title: Kallifstone's Opinion On Countercurses. You're smart, you'll figure out the rest. --Med.

Thanks. Check out Lils. She keeps looking at James. --Em.

Yeah, I've noticed. Odd, isn't it? --Med.

I reckon she likes him. Really, really likes him. Can't exactly blame her, James has changed a bit recently. --Em.

More like changed a lot. --Med.

Yeah, I reckon... --Em.

Their teacher swept over at them to check if they were doing their work. Emily quickly hid the note and pretended to read a page in the textbook that was completely unrelated to the topic of her essay.

---

POTIONS.

James was right; Potions was a practical lesson. They had been instructed to brew up a highly complex potion called Thundaga, which caused chaos to one's life once drunken.

Professor Anson liked making his students' lives hell. He planned to make them sample it before taking over the world with his puppets... bwahahahaha.

Lily huffed as Anson criticized the amount of essence of Murtlap she had ladled into her cauldron. She stuck her tongue at their teacher's retreating back and lost ten points for doing so, for a sneaky Slytherin had dobbed her in.

Sirius and James had planned a prank. It was more of an experiment, actually. And if it worked, then they'd have a bit of fun out of it as well. They were using their "valuable" Potions time to work it out.

"Yeah, just add that... that's all," James murmured out of the corner of his mouth to Sirius.

Sirius emptied a jar of dried Pergient tentacles into his steaming and bubbling cauldron.

His cauldron gave a small explosion and the whole area was covered in a white mist, making it seemingly impossible to see anything.

"And what, Mr. Black, is this?" Professor Anson's cold voice came from in the mist somewhere.

"My version of Thundaga," Sirius grinned as the mist cleared.

"Perhaps you and Mr. Potter would like to sample it," inquired Anson briskly, looking calmly furious. If that was even possible.

"Why certainly," Sirius obliged cheerily. He snatched the ladle from the teacher, whose nostrils flared but said nothing, obviously wanting Sirius to quickly die a slow and painful death as soon as possible.

James passed his best friend two glasses and Sirius ladled a thin purple liquid into the glasses. He passed one to James, and they grinned as they clinked glasses.

"Cheers."

The rest of the class stopped working and observed them in interest.

Very slowly, James and Sirius drank their potions.

Sirius put down his glass and wiped his mouth, "Taste like blueberry."

"Funny, seems more like blackberry to me," James said briskly. The two set down their glasses and everyone watched in surprise as they were slowly uplifted off the floor.

They floated near the ceiling, as if they were flying. Many people gasped.

"Hey man, it worked!" James shouted gleefully. Sirius "flew" over to him and they shared a high-five.

"Potter--Black, get down here!" yelled Anson furiously, whipping out his wand.

He was angry because they had ruined his master plan to rid the world of cat puppets, so he may take over with Mr. Doggie and Mr. Froggie...

At that moment, the bell rang, and everyone made a mad scramble to clear their cauldrons and escape from the Dungeon of Doom. Sirius and James dipped down low, grabbed their already-packed bags and flew out of the classroom.

The rest of the class also ran out, ignoring Anson's yelled, "Write an essay on Thundaga!" and proceeded to the Great Hall for lunch.

"Honestly, of all things!" Lily muttered, rolling her eyes. Emily knew she was talking about James and Sirius, but she swore Lily had had a smile on her face when the two drank their blueberry/blackberry potion and were uplifted towards the ceiling.

Oh, well. Maybe Emily needed her eyes checked.

"Oh. No. Oh, dear Merlin. Help us all," Penny murmured as soon as she stepped into the Great Hall.

"Please, please, please," Lily begged no one in particular, closing her eyes.

She opened them.

And cursed Merlin and the Great Wizards Above for hating her so much.

Flying about the ceiling, singing at the top of their lungs, were Sirius and James.

Remus smiled as the girls grew red in embarrassment and ducked their way to the Gryffindor table. Oh, the humiliation.

Everyone was staring and pointing at the two pranksters of Hogwarts. Some were giggling. Some were shaking their heads. Others were having laughing disorders. Slytherins looked as though they thought Sirius Black and James Potter were the biggest disgrace to mankind.

And they were probably right.

But the Gryffindors would never admit that.

"What in Merlin's beard are they singing?" Meddy asked, for once not concentrating on her lunch but on the two figures floating above them.

"We've got to RISE UP,
over little first years,
RISE UP,
through floating candles."

Several Muggle-born students laughed, and most pure-bloods smiled and pointed. Others, however, scowled at this double disgrace.

"They are so odd," Lily said, rolling her eyes and trying not to smile.

The twins and Meddy were giggling.

"It's cute though," Penny pointed out.

"I'm like a bird,
I'll only fly away,
I don't know where your book is, (Remus)
So sorry mate, I'll replace it."

Sirius and James dipped down low so they were hovering inches above where Lily and the others were sitting, enjoying their lunch. They both began to plead with their love interests.

"Pumpkin!" called James joyfully, "Won't you come and join me in this wonderful flying-slash-singing session?"

"No flippin' way!" Lily exclaimed hotly.

"But, but, but," whined James, "We have to! Don't be a meanie! Think of all the fairies you're killin' when you say you don't believe in 'em! I do believe in fairies, I do, I do, I do!"

Lily stared at him.

Sirius was, of course, whining at Penny.

"But Penne-e-e-e-e," he pleaded, "Ple-e-e-e-e-ase?"

"Nuh uh!" Penny replied defiantly, turning away from Sirius.

"Fine, fine," Sirius said haughtily. He turned away and crossed his arms. At the last minute, he spun back around and grabbed Penny under her arms, hauling her up with him.

"What--Sirius!" Penny screamed, "I'm--scared--of--heights! Put me down!"

"Don't worry, I won't let go!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

James, taking confidence from Sirius, also grabbed Lily. The redhead screamed and kicked as she pleased, but nothing made him let go. And when she was too high up, she stopped struggling, because she didn't want to fall.

"Potter! Put me down! And don't just drop me!"

"Nope, you're joining me in si-i-i-inging!"

"I believe I can fly,
I believe I can touch the sky,
Thought about it every Quidditch game,
Put my broom under me and flew away."

They stayed like this for several more minutes until... the potion wore off.

"Uh oh," James said edgily, glancing at Sirius. It was like one of those cartoon moments, where the character stays in mid-air until they realise they are no longer floatable -- and then they fall.

"And I wonder why, why I'm falling (into a cake)
And I wonder why, I'm off the ground
Don't you ask me why, we're having icing covering us,
Cause I'm falling."

The girls were screaming like mad.

Sirius and Penny both fell SPLAT into a large cake that Dumbledore (the teachers had been watching them with amusement) had conjured up upon their falling--spluttering cream on everyone on the Hufflepuff table.

Lily and James fell into a huge bowl of ice cream that Dumbledore had also conjured up.

"ARGGHHH!" Lily screamed incredibly high-pitched, "It's cold! It flippin' stings!"

"It's called ICE cream for a reason!" James pointed out, grinning in a terrified way.

"I HATE YOU AND YOUR STUPID IDEAS!" Lily yelled, before slipping out of the giant ice cream bowl and stalking as dignified as she could back to the Gryffindor table.

"Wow, Lils, that was incredible!" Emily squealed like a little girl, "I so wanna do that! Didja have fun, huh, huh, huh?"

"If you consider floating above a thousand students, being carried by a pratball and listening to him screech Muggle songs fun, then yeah," Lily said sarcastically.

"Hehe, it sure looked fun," Meddy chimed in, using a spell to clean Lily up.

Penny joined them afterward, covered in cake crumbs and blue icing. Sirius and James had been called by Professor McGonagall, probably receiving delightful-record-breaking-detentions right this minute.

Ignoring the odd looks people were giving them, the girls resumed back to their lunch. Lily, though she would never ever admit it to any living soul on the planet, did actually have fun when James grabbed her and pulled her up and around the ceiling...

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A/N: OMJ (jelly) FINALLY FINISHED! I'm SO sorry it took me so long to update! I tried my best, really. My friend and I had thought up of a plot (the flying bit) and I had planned to write a notepassing chapter. But it took me awhile to put it down in words cause I wanted it to be good. Anyway, thank you sooo much for reading! Yes, I play FF8 and love it to pieces, for those who are going to ask. :)

Songs sung by our fave two-- Rise Up (Aust. Idol, Final 12--2003). I'm Like A Bird (Nelly Furtado). I Believe I Can Fly (R. Kelly). Falling (Candice Alley).

Some of the lyrics were changed (obviously), but the tune/other lyrics have been kept the same. By the way, I know they all didn't exist back then, but hey, I'm living in the 21st century here! Leave me be. :)

The title of the chapter actually says: Muggle Songs And Notepassing in a demented way. Hehe. :) Bye bye! xoxo

--MSQ.