Hollow Blade: Chapter 2 -- Kairi's Head of Scurriness


--

Disclaimer: Wow. I feel old. I haven't written a disclaimer in ages. -shrug- Mmkay, here it goes [just so I won't get sued by Squenix. -glances over at Squenix employees, with briefcases and suits-]. I do not own Kingdom Hearts, or any other companies or objects directly related to in this chapter. Thankyou for your time and waffles.


- - -



Sora's eyelids shot open, as a cold sweat broke out on his palms, face, and neck. He woke up in a wave of heat and fright, with his mouth dry and sticky. He could feel the lump in his dry throat rise. Sora leaned up and looked around, then wiped the sweat from his forehead and eyebrows. He was lying in the sand of Destiny Islands, just where he was before. The sun was brighter than ever, the waves crashed loudly in front of him, and the birds in the trees were chirping. It was just a dream, he tried to convince himself. Sora looked up at the sky to look at the calming-white, fluffy clouds--but instead, the sky was completely eclipsed due to Kairi's oversized head, which just happened to be hovering right above him.

Sora screamed in terror and fright, at the sight of that huge... thing getting so close to his face. Kairi giggled insanely at Sora, completely ignoring the fact that her head was blocking the sun from the island, causing it to freeze over and snow.

Sora, you lazy rum swigger! she giggled happily, not even knowing what she was saying.

Sora pondered at what was, and wondered if the idiot author put that line in the story to make it rhyme with her actual line from the script.

I thought I'd find you boozing down here! she smiled innocently, as Sora leaned up and put on an over-sized winter coat.

But I had this dream that this huge black thing swallowed me up! What was that thing ... So bizzare... Sora pondered.

A random person walked past the two of them. You would THINK that he would make a sarcasatic comment right about now, wouldn't you? About Kairi's head? No, I'm not going to over-use that joke. So hah! ...The person tripped over a conveniantly-positioned platypus, and fell into a pool of molten hot lava, because the silly author felt like it. (^_^;)

Yeah, sure... Kairi murmured. Hey, wanna go get drunk?!

Sora ignored her question and moved on. Say, Kairi. What was your home town like? He asked, sitting on his knees, glaring his shimmery blue eyes at Kairi. The young girl put her hands behind her back and started rambling on about how she came from a magical, beautiful place called a "Thrift Shop.


HOURS LATER...

Suddenly, a young teen known as Riku walked into the scene. He ran his smoothe hands through his soft, silvery hair, which wavered elegantly in the gentle breeze of the tropical wind. His shimmering, sparkling green eyes were dazzling and mezmorizing. He was dressed in a very cool stylish blue, silver, yellow, and black outfit, with blue and grey shoes. His light skin made his green eyes radiate with such a strange glow, that they drew a good amount of attention to his face. In his left hand, he carried a log that he had ripped out of its roots with his own bare hands. Riku chuckled at the sight of the two, young, playful kids rambling on about unimportant things that made no sense whatsoever.

he began. I guess I'm the only one working on the ra-- but before he could finish his sentence, giant rabid purple monkeys came and devoured his body, while afterwards, Martha Stewart jumped out of the bushes -- wearing a Mary Poppins outfit -- and stole his leftover bones, to use them as lovely little decour candles, that will dazzle all of your guests when they enter your lovely home!. Yes, he died a savage, gory death. All that was left of Riku was left ear. Which did not exist. At all.

Sora and Kairi stared blankly.


THAT EVENING...


WHERE IS MY PUDDING?! Selphie screamed frantically, searching around the shack for her missing pudding bowl. LYKE OMZZ she spazzed.

That's when Wakka came into the scene. Gently, he shut the door to the shack behind him, and lay his blitzball down on a near by crate. Selphie eyes pierced at Wakka. She stiffened her arms, made a puffy face, and marched up to Wakka.

o0o0o0o! Whatsup......................................... he started.

Selphie glared at him.



..continually.

..........., man?

Selphie snapped. YOU KNOW WHATSUP YOU EVIL, EVIL, EVIL DOG-HEARTED, UNMUZZLED, RABID, BEAST-MINDED, NO-GOOD, USELESS, FILTHY, MANGEY, UGLY, DEFORMED, IGNORANT...

Wakka completely ignored her annoying rambling, and walked out of the room, to go hang out with Tidus.

Selphie didn't even bother noticing that he had left until minutes after he had already exited the shack. OF ALL THE MORONS.... she said, her flushed, red eyes sizzling hot. Her face turned hot pink, her hair caught on fire, and she suddenly exploded into sugar-free popsicles! Yay!

ON RIKU'S ISLAND

I miss Riku being here, Kairi sighed.

I miss being able to watch Lizzy McGuire without Disney using subliminal messages... Sora sighed.

...Falshback....

Sora: No Lizzie! Don't get mad to Gordo for using a chainsaw on your little brother! He didn't mean anything!

TV: ::Starts flashing sublinimal images.

~long pause~

Sora: Hey, I think I'm gonna go buy some Disney products now...

Moogle: Wha-?

Sora: ::grabs moogle:: LETS GO BUY HILLARY DUFF CLOTHES!!!! ::prances off to the Disney store to buy Lizzie McGuire merchandise::

Present Day...

Kairi nodded, then looked up at the purple sky. She was in deep thought. But something threw her off. Something caught her eye that was was most brilliant, that disrupted her train of thought. Hey, what's that? She questioned, pointing to something above the island

Hanging in the heavenly stars, there seemed to be a shimmering trail of light that flustered elegantly across the night wind. It almost resembled a shooting, or falling, star.

Sora screamed bloody murder. OHH MY GAWDZ!!11 LOL, ITZ COMING DISS WAY!11 OMFG!11 LYKE RUUUNNN!111!!!1oneoneoneonecheeseisyummy!!11 He yelled, wavinghis arms around frantically. Kairi tilted her head at the young, confused brunette, who was panicking and screaming for dear life.

What do you mean it's coming towards us? she pondered, then looked up to the sky. The shimmering meteor, in fact, WAS heading towards them. Kairi closed her eyes, tighten her lips, and nodded. She gently and slowly stood up from the largre palm tree, brushed her hair behind her ears, and stood in the center of Riku's Island. Then she, too, started running around in circles, screaming, LYKE OMGOMG!!1

SOMEWHERE IN THE SECRET SPOT

Ansem, the fierce lord of Darkness and evil, pranced around merrily, holding a small sea shell in his hand. He bounced on the rocks and laughed. I found a sea shell, I found a sea shell, blah blah blah blah blah blah! he giggled insanely. The sea shell bit his hand, and he started gushing blood from the wound.

He let go of the silly shell, and watched it bounce off and hide behind a near by rock.

DEMONIC FORCES OF EVIL... he screamed, his eyes watering from the little cut that the sea shell left. Bunnies, leprochauns, unicorns, Teletubbies, flowers, cookies, butterflies, lollipops, and Martha Stewart all appeared behind Ansem. With that, the bunnies and what-not lunged themself at the chibi shell, and hugged it until it exploded into sugary goodness! Yum!

said Ansem, prancing around in the cave.. thing again.

screamed the Demonic Forces of Evil.

But something shook the ground rapidly, causing Ansem to trip over a rock, and fall on his tooth. The fall knocked two of Ansem's front teeth out.


OUTSIDE...

The ground shook violantly as walls of fire rushed against the island. Wave after wave, a huge explosion released heat, fire, and dangerous, crushing waves of centrifical force. Trees were knocked down in the burning waves, as Destiny Islands buildings were blown into shattered fragments of wood. Birds decentigrated into nothing but ashes and dry bone, trying to escape from the blasts from explosions, yet failed.

After the aftermath of the impact was over, there was nothing left on the island except for rubble, ash, smoke, and burning wood. Everything was destroyed. Everyone had died.

All... except for one person.......


IN THE SECRET SPOT...

WHAT THE SHOE-CRACKERS WAS THAT?! Ansem screamed in a girly voice at the top of his lungs, dancing around to Brittany Spears music.







Well, this chapter was, um. Interesting. I love leaving you guys on a cliff hanger like this. ^_^

What will Ansem do? Is everyone -really- dead? Why did the meteor fall onto the island? Will Kairi's oversized head ever shrink? Will I ever stop using retorical questions that get on everyone's nerves?

Random Person: No.
Me: Oh, okay.


Review, flame, etc! ^^; (I promise the next chapter will make more sense, and be more funny.)