Disclaimer: '''This is a Harry Potter Fan Fiction, I do not own anything to
do with Harry Potter, apart from my copy of the books :)
Warnings: Now I'm only gonna say this once: THIS will be A SLASH FIC!! If you don't know what that is LEAVE NOW! So don't flame me[for that at least] Later this fic will most definately be rated R and will contain SLASH of the Snape/Harry variety. So if this squicks you...see above...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Shadow of Voldemort
Chapter 2
:From the Darkness:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~
Darkness.
It was everywhere. All around him. Surrounding and engulfing him. Strangling him.
Desperate.
All he could think, all he was capable of thinking was of finding a possible escape. Any escape would do; as long as it got him away from here and the darkness that seemed to become more dense the longer he lay still. Though, for all he tried, could not even force himself to move. Visions began to swim before his eyes, yet, he could not quite 'see' them. Merely a vague 'impression' of them, and the more he tried to focus the further away they seemed to drift. Suddenly, for but a brief instant, a brilliant white light flared around his body. It seemed to forcefully wrench him from his little black cloud into a world swirling with every colour imaginable. Consuming the blackness that seemed to come from his very skin. It freed his body and mind, restoring him his liberty of movement.
That was when he saw them.
Eyes. A pair of them. Gazing down on him from the core, the orgin of the fading light.
~
"BOY!"
Harry groaned and rolled over, trying to smother his Uncle's bellows with his pillow. Not a very wize decision on his part but Harry was far past the point of caring.
"YOU!" Wheezed Vernon as he threw open the door to Harry's 'room', "GET YOUR LAZY ASS OUT HERE! NOW!!!"
Sighing, Harry sat up, and not seeing a way out of obeying the rather 'direct' order from Uncle Vernon, climbed out of his bed.
"I'LL NOT HAVE YOU STARVING TO DEATH IN 'MY' HOUSE AND ATTRACTING THE ATTENTION OF THOSE- THOSE 'FREAKS!'" Stuttered the large sweaty man standing just outside his doorway.
Oh so that was it.
Not sparing but a glance at his Uncle, the boy strode to the corner of the small room towards his trunk and flipped up the lid. Harry smirked sullenly as the action had the usual dramatic outcome. Vernon slamming the door and thumping his way back down the 'far too many stairs' mumbling obscenely to himself.
~
After enduring a rather strained and reasonably disturbing breakfast with the Dursley(some people shouldn't even try to be pleasant), Harry had wandered outdoors. Probably a good thing considering all the time he'd been spending closed away in his bedroom, something he knew was unhealthy. He had always longed and loved to be outside, especially when at the Dursley's. It was the only place where he could gain some freedom from them, even 'if' all the neighbours steered clear of 'That Potter Boy.' Though, recently he could have cared less.
It was lightly overcast that day and remarkably cool for late July. A slight drizzle proved most irritating as Harry had neglected to grab a jacket or even a sweater in his haste.
'Serves me right.' He thought miserably, 'the very least I could do is catch pneumonia and die after all the lives I've ruined with my stupidity already.'
Harry laughed bitterly at the thought that he sounded much like Snape. That bastard. He'd surely be pleased to know Harry had, 'finally learned his place.' Finally understood he'd bring nothing more than death to all whom he cared about. All he 'allowed' himself to care about...
God! How could he ever let Voldemort manipulate him like that? Over and over again. How could he live with himself after he'd aided in the death of numerous people? Cedric. Merlin! Cedric... 'Both of us. We'll take it at the same time. It's still a Hogwarts victory. We'll tie for it.' He had thought it such a great idea at the time. The two of them would take the Cup at the same time thus winning the Tournament together. Gods how stupid he had been! Someone had put his name in The Goblet of Fire. The wards on that thing had been so strong... Everyone had been trying to help him with his tasks illegally... He was winning over older more advanced students. He should have realised 'something' was strange. Stupid stupid stupid idiot boy. And the portkey... Harry's stomach churned at the memory. 'Kill the spare.' The pull at his navel. 'Kill the spare.' The graveyard. 'Kill the spare.' That awful blast of deadly green light. 'Kill the spare.' The pain. 'Kill the spare.' Cedric's lifeless body falling bonelessly to the earth. 'Kill the spare.' The dead body of his once schoolmate lying eagle-spread on the ground. 'Kill the spare.' Blood. 'Kill the spare.' Voldemort. Resurrected. 'Kill the spare.'
'Kill the spare.' 'Kill the spare.' 'Kill the spare.'
'The spare.'
Sirius. As he'd seen him for the first time in the Shrieking Shack. The pale, sallow and gaunt face standing out against the dim light. Sirius being tortured by Voldemort as he'd seen in his 'vision'. How could he have forgotten that Voldemort had access to his mind? To his secrets? Sirius had been one of the most important people in Harry's life. His only family. And he was taken away- No. 'Given' away, by Harry. Because of Harry, Sirius lost his life. It was his fault. Harry's fault. Everything. Everyone close to him is in danger. Everyone he cares for. And any one of them could be next to lost their life because of him... As Sirius was lost because of him...Because of him. His fault. Everything was his fault. Everything.
Harry gasped, shaking his head forcefully, trying to will the visions away.
Apparently he had been lost in his thoughts for quite some time, he was nearing the end of the alleyway where he and Dudly had previously been attacked by Dementors. Shivering in rememberance of that encounter he hurried on towards the park.
Dementors... Something about them, the feeling when one is around them, was poking at the back of his mind. Trying in vain to have Harry recognise it.
...His dream. That was it!
The dream. The black clouds that surrounded Harry. The darkness he seemed to be emitting, and the feeling it gave him...Was exactly the same as that of a Dementor. Having all happiness ripped away from you. Feeling you'd never be happy again. But then there was light. The brilliant white light exploding right out of the very darkness, that made it all better. Chasing all the black away; And he was left feeling lighter than he had in ages.
Harry abruptly realised that he was no longer alone.
"You could catch your death out here you know."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N- There we are there we are! What do we think?? Most of it was more or less explaining in more detail how depressed Harry feels. He thinks that every little thing is his fault... If you could let me know how I'm doing developing Harry's depression I'd love you forever. I myself am going through similar crap right now so I'm finding it hard to write it...Don't ask .lol
I could actually have written a bit more but I thought I'd be mean and give you a cliffie *smirks* Just kidding.*what? don't you believe me??*
HINT: Remember Harry's dream...It's important
Carpe Diem
-Karis
Warnings: Now I'm only gonna say this once: THIS will be A SLASH FIC!! If you don't know what that is LEAVE NOW! So don't flame me[for that at least] Later this fic will most definately be rated R and will contain SLASH of the Snape/Harry variety. So if this squicks you...see above...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Shadow of Voldemort
Chapter 2
:From the Darkness:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~
Darkness.
It was everywhere. All around him. Surrounding and engulfing him. Strangling him.
Desperate.
All he could think, all he was capable of thinking was of finding a possible escape. Any escape would do; as long as it got him away from here and the darkness that seemed to become more dense the longer he lay still. Though, for all he tried, could not even force himself to move. Visions began to swim before his eyes, yet, he could not quite 'see' them. Merely a vague 'impression' of them, and the more he tried to focus the further away they seemed to drift. Suddenly, for but a brief instant, a brilliant white light flared around his body. It seemed to forcefully wrench him from his little black cloud into a world swirling with every colour imaginable. Consuming the blackness that seemed to come from his very skin. It freed his body and mind, restoring him his liberty of movement.
That was when he saw them.
Eyes. A pair of them. Gazing down on him from the core, the orgin of the fading light.
~
"BOY!"
Harry groaned and rolled over, trying to smother his Uncle's bellows with his pillow. Not a very wize decision on his part but Harry was far past the point of caring.
"YOU!" Wheezed Vernon as he threw open the door to Harry's 'room', "GET YOUR LAZY ASS OUT HERE! NOW!!!"
Sighing, Harry sat up, and not seeing a way out of obeying the rather 'direct' order from Uncle Vernon, climbed out of his bed.
"I'LL NOT HAVE YOU STARVING TO DEATH IN 'MY' HOUSE AND ATTRACTING THE ATTENTION OF THOSE- THOSE 'FREAKS!'" Stuttered the large sweaty man standing just outside his doorway.
Oh so that was it.
Not sparing but a glance at his Uncle, the boy strode to the corner of the small room towards his trunk and flipped up the lid. Harry smirked sullenly as the action had the usual dramatic outcome. Vernon slamming the door and thumping his way back down the 'far too many stairs' mumbling obscenely to himself.
~
After enduring a rather strained and reasonably disturbing breakfast with the Dursley(some people shouldn't even try to be pleasant), Harry had wandered outdoors. Probably a good thing considering all the time he'd been spending closed away in his bedroom, something he knew was unhealthy. He had always longed and loved to be outside, especially when at the Dursley's. It was the only place where he could gain some freedom from them, even 'if' all the neighbours steered clear of 'That Potter Boy.' Though, recently he could have cared less.
It was lightly overcast that day and remarkably cool for late July. A slight drizzle proved most irritating as Harry had neglected to grab a jacket or even a sweater in his haste.
'Serves me right.' He thought miserably, 'the very least I could do is catch pneumonia and die after all the lives I've ruined with my stupidity already.'
Harry laughed bitterly at the thought that he sounded much like Snape. That bastard. He'd surely be pleased to know Harry had, 'finally learned his place.' Finally understood he'd bring nothing more than death to all whom he cared about. All he 'allowed' himself to care about...
God! How could he ever let Voldemort manipulate him like that? Over and over again. How could he live with himself after he'd aided in the death of numerous people? Cedric. Merlin! Cedric... 'Both of us. We'll take it at the same time. It's still a Hogwarts victory. We'll tie for it.' He had thought it such a great idea at the time. The two of them would take the Cup at the same time thus winning the Tournament together. Gods how stupid he had been! Someone had put his name in The Goblet of Fire. The wards on that thing had been so strong... Everyone had been trying to help him with his tasks illegally... He was winning over older more advanced students. He should have realised 'something' was strange. Stupid stupid stupid idiot boy. And the portkey... Harry's stomach churned at the memory. 'Kill the spare.' The pull at his navel. 'Kill the spare.' The graveyard. 'Kill the spare.' That awful blast of deadly green light. 'Kill the spare.' The pain. 'Kill the spare.' Cedric's lifeless body falling bonelessly to the earth. 'Kill the spare.' The dead body of his once schoolmate lying eagle-spread on the ground. 'Kill the spare.' Blood. 'Kill the spare.' Voldemort. Resurrected. 'Kill the spare.'
'Kill the spare.' 'Kill the spare.' 'Kill the spare.'
'The spare.'
Sirius. As he'd seen him for the first time in the Shrieking Shack. The pale, sallow and gaunt face standing out against the dim light. Sirius being tortured by Voldemort as he'd seen in his 'vision'. How could he have forgotten that Voldemort had access to his mind? To his secrets? Sirius had been one of the most important people in Harry's life. His only family. And he was taken away- No. 'Given' away, by Harry. Because of Harry, Sirius lost his life. It was his fault. Harry's fault. Everything. Everyone close to him is in danger. Everyone he cares for. And any one of them could be next to lost their life because of him... As Sirius was lost because of him...Because of him. His fault. Everything was his fault. Everything.
Harry gasped, shaking his head forcefully, trying to will the visions away.
Apparently he had been lost in his thoughts for quite some time, he was nearing the end of the alleyway where he and Dudly had previously been attacked by Dementors. Shivering in rememberance of that encounter he hurried on towards the park.
Dementors... Something about them, the feeling when one is around them, was poking at the back of his mind. Trying in vain to have Harry recognise it.
...His dream. That was it!
The dream. The black clouds that surrounded Harry. The darkness he seemed to be emitting, and the feeling it gave him...Was exactly the same as that of a Dementor. Having all happiness ripped away from you. Feeling you'd never be happy again. But then there was light. The brilliant white light exploding right out of the very darkness, that made it all better. Chasing all the black away; And he was left feeling lighter than he had in ages.
Harry abruptly realised that he was no longer alone.
"You could catch your death out here you know."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N- There we are there we are! What do we think?? Most of it was more or less explaining in more detail how depressed Harry feels. He thinks that every little thing is his fault... If you could let me know how I'm doing developing Harry's depression I'd love you forever. I myself am going through similar crap right now so I'm finding it hard to write it...Don't ask .lol
I could actually have written a bit more but I thought I'd be mean and give you a cliffie *smirks* Just kidding.*what? don't you believe me??*
HINT: Remember Harry's dream...It's important
Carpe Diem
-Karis