I didn't know I was this impatient.
The day dragged on forever. I didn't have a shift today, so Molly and I laid around the house all day and played games. She loves to play with her
dolls and dress them up. She has a doll that kind of looks like me, so I spent most of the day figuring out what I was going to wear and how I was going to do my hair by playing with it. I finally decided on a black dress
and pulling my hair up in some fashion.
Molly knew something was going on tonight. I had told her that our next door neighbor, Emily, was coming over to baby-sit that night because I
was going to dinner with Dr. Carter. I told her I would give her a kiss when I got home. She had kind of smiled and then gone back to playing with her toys. She knew I was excited about this, and I think she likes Carter,
so I think she might be okay with us in the end. He's the first boyfriend I've had since I had her.
I took a shower about 5:00 and then spent the next hour fighting with my
hair. It just wouldn't cooperate. I finally slipped into my dress and, exasperated, let my hair stay down. It fell kind of gracefully around my shoulders and framed my face. I was finishing my make up when the door
bell rang. Stupid man-always early. I asked Emily, who had come over about half an hour ago, to get it. I heard her tell Carter I'd be just a minute and to please come in. As I finished getting ready, I looked my self up and down
in the mirror. Not bad, I thought. Not bad at all.
"You look beautiful." I whirled around. There he was, standing in all his manliness, being handsome and charming.and holding a bouquet of dead
flowers. "These are for you," he said, struggling to hold back a grin. I
giggled as I took them from him. This man can make me crazy. I set them on my bed as I grabbed my purse and then took the hand he offered me. We complimented each other well. He was wearing a suit and tie, thankfully not a tux this time, and I was wearing my favorite dress: a black halter
top that came down a little low in front, but wasn't too revealing, and then stopped a little below my knees. Plus, we look good together. Just us. I could get used to calling us "us."
I gave Molly a kiss goodbye and then walked with him out the door. He hadn't taken his eyes off of me the whole time. As soon as we got to his
jeep he stopped. He smiled a little and then looked deep into my eyes and kissed me. A deep, meaningful kiss that stopped time as the two of us stood there, just kissing to some people, but to us it was so much more. It was
embarking on this whole new journey. Together.
His lips were soft and his kiss was gentle and sweet, but full of deeper meaning. After a while, we broke apart to breathe. He was smiling again. So was I. He stoked my face with his hand and ran his fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes and treasured the moment. One of many, many
moments to come I hoped. "You're so beautiful," he murmured again. "Let's just hope you keep thinking that," I managed to say. He opened the door for me and we got in his car, our hands remaining intertwined throughout the trip.
We arrived at the restaurant, which, of course, was very nice and very expensive, and the waiter led us to our table. We ordered our food and then sat there, talking every now and then, but knowing there was no real need for words. He cocked his head and asked the question I knew he was
waiting to ask.
"Why did you kiss me last night?"
I had rehearsed this answer over and over in my head. Because I wanted to, because it was the right moment, because I liked him. But that's not what came out. I found my heart coming out. "Because for my entire life I've
tried to find the right guy. The one single person who can make me happy. The one I could see myself growing old with. The one man who I could sit with for hours and have a long conversation with without saying anything. My best friend. And then I found him, and ever since then I've been
scared. For him, for my daughter, and for me. Because what if it didn't work out? Then what? And I didn't know how to start it. I didn't know how to start something that I wanted to last forever. And then I got tired of thinking and just acted. I acted with my heart. And that's, that's why I kissed you."
All though my speech he had sat there, a smile slowly creeping across his face. At the end he looked into my eyes again and said, "I never said I was sorry that you did. Because I had wanted to kiss you for so long.
Since the day I met you. And you have no idea how hard it's been for me to see you everyday and find myself falling deeper into you. You're the one for me, Abby. The one that you were talking about. The one who makes me happy
and makes me laugh and who, at the end of the day, I just want to come home to and be with. And for all these years I never did anything because I didn't know how far you would want to go, with you having a daughter and a family. And all I've wanted to do for the last few years is hold you. Hold
you and kiss you and have you be mine. Forever. It's the only thing I've ever wanted. And now I think I finally have it."
I stared back at him. He truly is amazing. I finally managed to speak
again. "You do."
**
The rest of the evening was a romantic blur of smiling and laughing and even a little dancing. At the end of the night, as we stood at my doorstep, holding hands and just looking at each other, he looked at me and finally said the words I had been waiting years to hear. "I love you, Abby."
Without meaning to, I started crying. Big, fat tears rolling down my cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumbs as he cradled my face in his hands. "What is it?"
I smiled and shook my head. "It's just that I've been waiting so long to hear you say that. And that, that's what I've always wanted. Because I love you too."
He kissed me hard and with a new passion I had never known. I was feeling so many things, things I hadn't felt in so long. And it was so wonderful. As we came apart, I looked up into his eyes. I knew that that love I was seeing was for real. For me. For forever. And there was no greater feeling than that.
The day dragged on forever. I didn't have a shift today, so Molly and I laid around the house all day and played games. She loves to play with her
dolls and dress them up. She has a doll that kind of looks like me, so I spent most of the day figuring out what I was going to wear and how I was going to do my hair by playing with it. I finally decided on a black dress
and pulling my hair up in some fashion.
Molly knew something was going on tonight. I had told her that our next door neighbor, Emily, was coming over to baby-sit that night because I
was going to dinner with Dr. Carter. I told her I would give her a kiss when I got home. She had kind of smiled and then gone back to playing with her toys. She knew I was excited about this, and I think she likes Carter,
so I think she might be okay with us in the end. He's the first boyfriend I've had since I had her.
I took a shower about 5:00 and then spent the next hour fighting with my
hair. It just wouldn't cooperate. I finally slipped into my dress and, exasperated, let my hair stay down. It fell kind of gracefully around my shoulders and framed my face. I was finishing my make up when the door
bell rang. Stupid man-always early. I asked Emily, who had come over about half an hour ago, to get it. I heard her tell Carter I'd be just a minute and to please come in. As I finished getting ready, I looked my self up and down
in the mirror. Not bad, I thought. Not bad at all.
"You look beautiful." I whirled around. There he was, standing in all his manliness, being handsome and charming.and holding a bouquet of dead
flowers. "These are for you," he said, struggling to hold back a grin. I
giggled as I took them from him. This man can make me crazy. I set them on my bed as I grabbed my purse and then took the hand he offered me. We complimented each other well. He was wearing a suit and tie, thankfully not a tux this time, and I was wearing my favorite dress: a black halter
top that came down a little low in front, but wasn't too revealing, and then stopped a little below my knees. Plus, we look good together. Just us. I could get used to calling us "us."
I gave Molly a kiss goodbye and then walked with him out the door. He hadn't taken his eyes off of me the whole time. As soon as we got to his
jeep he stopped. He smiled a little and then looked deep into my eyes and kissed me. A deep, meaningful kiss that stopped time as the two of us stood there, just kissing to some people, but to us it was so much more. It was
embarking on this whole new journey. Together.
His lips were soft and his kiss was gentle and sweet, but full of deeper meaning. After a while, we broke apart to breathe. He was smiling again. So was I. He stoked my face with his hand and ran his fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes and treasured the moment. One of many, many
moments to come I hoped. "You're so beautiful," he murmured again. "Let's just hope you keep thinking that," I managed to say. He opened the door for me and we got in his car, our hands remaining intertwined throughout the trip.
We arrived at the restaurant, which, of course, was very nice and very expensive, and the waiter led us to our table. We ordered our food and then sat there, talking every now and then, but knowing there was no real need for words. He cocked his head and asked the question I knew he was
waiting to ask.
"Why did you kiss me last night?"
I had rehearsed this answer over and over in my head. Because I wanted to, because it was the right moment, because I liked him. But that's not what came out. I found my heart coming out. "Because for my entire life I've
tried to find the right guy. The one single person who can make me happy. The one I could see myself growing old with. The one man who I could sit with for hours and have a long conversation with without saying anything. My best friend. And then I found him, and ever since then I've been
scared. For him, for my daughter, and for me. Because what if it didn't work out? Then what? And I didn't know how to start it. I didn't know how to start something that I wanted to last forever. And then I got tired of thinking and just acted. I acted with my heart. And that's, that's why I kissed you."
All though my speech he had sat there, a smile slowly creeping across his face. At the end he looked into my eyes again and said, "I never said I was sorry that you did. Because I had wanted to kiss you for so long.
Since the day I met you. And you have no idea how hard it's been for me to see you everyday and find myself falling deeper into you. You're the one for me, Abby. The one that you were talking about. The one who makes me happy
and makes me laugh and who, at the end of the day, I just want to come home to and be with. And for all these years I never did anything because I didn't know how far you would want to go, with you having a daughter and a family. And all I've wanted to do for the last few years is hold you. Hold
you and kiss you and have you be mine. Forever. It's the only thing I've ever wanted. And now I think I finally have it."
I stared back at him. He truly is amazing. I finally managed to speak
again. "You do."
**
The rest of the evening was a romantic blur of smiling and laughing and even a little dancing. At the end of the night, as we stood at my doorstep, holding hands and just looking at each other, he looked at me and finally said the words I had been waiting years to hear. "I love you, Abby."
Without meaning to, I started crying. Big, fat tears rolling down my cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumbs as he cradled my face in his hands. "What is it?"
I smiled and shook my head. "It's just that I've been waiting so long to hear you say that. And that, that's what I've always wanted. Because I love you too."
He kissed me hard and with a new passion I had never known. I was feeling so many things, things I hadn't felt in so long. And it was so wonderful. As we came apart, I looked up into his eyes. I knew that that love I was seeing was for real. For me. For forever. And there was no greater feeling than that.