AN: Storymind: Well I'm glad the last chappie helped! Hope this one does
the same! ]
Fireash: All shall be revealed. As for Miroku's age. I dunno. Old enough to be lecherous and legal about it. How's that for an answer?
insomni-maniac: hehehe glad you enjoyed! Yes! Yabows is today's magic key word! Just. Remember to breath after saying it.
Ghoul King: Yeah. You know, he is starting to worry me. Maybe he should switch bodies sometime soon? I think that would help his mental breakdown out. You know, give him a real sense of self. Something, I think he truly needs.
dinkydaelf: Ooooo I hope you get those!! I know I did! Hehehe. Inuyasha manga!!! As for Shippo's emotional scarring, I never said WHO Shippo was scaring. Plus, you aren't a cat so the saying doesn't effect you. Does it?
Lei Xang: Yes. We are always this crazy and you know you love it.
The-Real-Rosie-Gamgee: We managed to confused you!!! Woohooo!!!!!
SilentChaos89: Glad you like and here's another update! Just. Careful with that 'sit' command, k? I mean, poor Inuyasha. Kagome does enough of that to him as is! Why add on to Inu-boy's poor suffering?
ME: First, we hope you changed your pants. And second, we are glad it made you laugh for so long! We know it did us! Then again, by the end of that chappie we were laughing at practically anything. Maybe we should get seat guards, for when we fall off of them.
Milady Goddess: We did! Here it is!
Silver Eyes Bright: Read and find out! The tar and feathers are over there on the side if you need them.
Crazymangagirl: We noticed and we love you too!
Orion Kohaishu: Ah yes. The self inflicted kiss. That was funny, as well as disturbing. It's even worse then imagining Inuyasha kissing himself in the mirror!
Kris-chan: We are glad you enjoyed! And yes, poor Inuyasha being sexually harassed that way. I tell you, walk a day in Kagome's shoes. Poor girl. Well, at least they didn't meet a pack of bandits yet! Hey. That could be an idea. j/k! Shippo's emotional scarring is unique. True enough. And some of the sentences are meant to be confusing, seeing as this is a confusing situation they are in. Though we will do our best to try and clarify them out a bit. Thanks for the advice!
Ryguy5387: Just think how the world would look if we all had an imagination like Shippo's!
Silver Goddess1 & AssassinReiX: Muahahaha! Done!
Thank you to all of you who reviewed! Or just plain read our story and enjoyed! We really appreciate this feedback and are simply overjoyed knowing that you are enjoying the story so much! Please keep on enjoying our story (as well as reviewing) we love you tons and wish you all a happy holiday season!
* * * *
Chapter Fourteen!
Shippo, at that same moment, was explaining the same thing to Inuyasha as they walked towards the shrine. "See, it started off with sake. Lots of it! Sango got really depressed, but I don't know why. And then Miroku joined in drinking with her. Before you could pray that nothing bad would happen, their faces were red, and they were up and dancing about the cabin they were in. And while the danced, he kind of grabbed her ass. Do you know what happened then, Inuyasha?"
"I can't possibly guess," he said dryly, turning on the steps to see if he could see the shrine.
"She didn't hit him."
Shippo fell off his shoulder when he suddenly jumped. "You're shitting me! She didn't slap him?" Inuyasha giggled loudly. "I knew something was up with those two! He's leaking his perversion into her, and she likes it! She actually likes it!" Then he realized what he was saying, and acting. "Ack! I'm starting to act like Kagome's gossipy friends! What happened next?"
"Well, then they kind of kicked me out," the young demon admitted. "But I could still hear everything. They talked for a moment, and then they started going at it like rabbit demons during mating season. They're really loud, you know that? Panting and stuff. But then Miroku realized what he was doing, and said he couldn't do it. He said it was because he respected her too much." Shippo nodded. "So he kicked Sango out of his room, and she's been pissed ever since."
Kagome's jaw dropped before she smacked Miroku upside down over the head with her bow. "You idiot!!" Kagome yelled at him. "What type of a behavior is that?! And what happened to your monki-ness?!?" Kagome demanded before realizing how that sounded. "I mean, don't you have ANY respect for her feelings?!" Kagome asked and stomped her foot with a loud 'HMPF', before striding over to Sango's side and adding some claw power to the deal. Her own little anger management at the demon for the stupidity of men.
"So, Miroku probably didn't mean it the way it worked out..." Kagome told Sango, thinking over Miroku's story. "At least he didn't go around pretending to your friends he is you and telling them, that he is a demon in the sac. While you don't even want to focus on that issue one bit." Kagome offered with a shrug before leaping in the air and shooting an arrow at the demon.
Landing back on the ground with her knees bent, Kagome peaked up from under thick silver bangs at Sango. The demon dead, while Sango hacked away at it. "Uh... It's... Ya know.. Dead. But if you want, Miroku is still alive." Kagome said jotting her thumb over her shoulder.
"Don't tempt me!" Sango snapped. But she spun on him anyway, glared, advanced. And stopped. She advanced again. "Too much respect for me? Too much respect for me?! You touch me all the time, you. you. ask everyone to bear your children, and yet when I give the opportunity to kiss me you say that you can't because you respect me too much? You're an idiot, houshi-sama, an idiot! And a perverted idiot, which is just worse!" She grabbed her weapon and stormed off.
Inuyasha, still on the steps with Shippo, sighed, thinking of Kagome. "And I though I was bad with women." He thought of something else, and told Shippo the riddle. "Does it mean anything to you?"
He shook his head. "Either way, Inuyasha, I don't think we can keep on like this for very long. We need to go and continue looking for the shards. You might not be able to fight, but Kagome still can, and there's still Sango and Miroku. And there's me too. I can protect you, Inuyasha!" he chirped.
Inuyasha never wanted to have to hear Shippo say that again. It was just too creepy.
* * *
"Inuyasha! NO! You are not going bathing with Sango!!!" Kagome yelled loud enough to make the birds in the trees rustle. Since they had started up with their shard hunt again, it just continued like this. Inuyasha being grumpy, Kagome irritable, Sango the super slayer and Miroku. Well, he was smart enough to avoid Sango. That was good enough for now. As for Shippo and Kirara. Shippo was making a personal diary of the insane group of slaves he owns.
Sighing, Kagome sat back down on the log near the fire and relaced her shoes. Just because Inuyasha walked around barefoot didn't mean SHE had too! And her pink sketchers were just so comfortable too! Leaning back, Kagome pulled a brush out of her yellow backpack and began brushing through her silver hair.
"Might be stuck in another body, but I'll at least keep myself clean and neat!" Kagome muttered as she worked the knots out of her hair. Kagome narrowed her eyes at Inuyasha. "I remember last time, and what happened to my bra. You know, those things are expensive! You can't suddenly decide to use them for fishing while taking a bath!" Kagome scolded him, probably for the millionth time over that matter. "Besides, I don't have the strength to blindfold you and washing myself is just too creepy- No. You are not getting to wash me. Forget about it. This body is off limits to you!" Kagome cut off his line of argument.
"But I already know every inch of it!" Inuyasha complained, a certain sense of wisdom in his ears. He stared at Kagome, pouting and feeling hurt that she wouldn't even look at him. She just sat there, brushing the hair. He leaned over and poked her. "I bet I know why. It's because you liked it too much. It's not you worrying about me touching you, you're worried about you feeling me touch you! You just can't bear to let a gorgeous gal like me out of your sights, let alone to feel me touching you."
He paused, smilingly teasingly. "But if you really don't want me bathing with Sango, I can wait and do it by myself. Just think of it, Kagome! Me, in the water by myself." He arched an eyebrow, wondering if she got his point. "And naked, with no one to watch out for monsters, or to make sure a demon like me behaves myself as I scrub.."
He suddenly had a calculus book on his face and was on the ground.
Oh yeah, she got it.
Sitting on top of him, Kagome glared down at her face. "Now. Listen here!" Kagome began, when he tried to throw her off, Kagome screamed for him to 'sit'.
The others cringed.
"A gorgeous gal!?? Inuyasha! Are you listening to yourself?!?!" Kagome asked gripping her body by her shoulders and shaking it. Appalled at what mama would think when she saw how dirty her clothes were. Didn't Inuyasha know how to AVOID the mud pits?! "Inuyasha, you are a GUY. A g-u-y! Boy! Male! XY chromosome! Not a gal!" Kagome urged him before stopping with her fists still in his shirt, pulling his face to hers and staring scrupulously into his, err... her, brown eyes. "Gorgeous? You think I'm gorgeous?" Kagome asked.
"Oh, and don't even use the bathing excuse with me." Kagome warned. "Remember, I still have hold of your body!" Kagome hissed.
Taking much risk upon his life, Miroku leaned over to Sango and covered his mouth. "Is it only me, or is this conversation filled with many sexual innuendoes not appropriate for the ears of such innocents as Shippo?" Miroku whispered to her.
Shippo looked up from his chocolate bar. Face completely covered with it. "Eh? What? I am not an innocent! I'm a brave and powerful youkai!" Shippo declared and after a few contemplative licks of his candy bar leapt into the air.
"Ahhhhh! Inuyasha is trying to seduce me again and corrupt my precious priceless innocence!!!!"
"I already said I found you attractive," Inuyasha grumbled, staring at his own face. "So yeah, I guess I do.. I'm not trying to seduce you, Shippo!!" Inuyasha flung the calculus textbook in the young demon's direction. He grinned up at her, still feeling playful. "And what would you do to my body, Kagome, hm? Come on, tell me what you would do to me if I was bad little girl. er, man trapped in a female body."
Sango couldn't help but nod. "I think their conversation might be too sexually suggestive for even you, houshi-sama." Then she remembered the indignation she had felt when he had turned her out. Sango wasn't really that mad that he hadn't wanted to touch her because of respect, but the fact that he had turned her out. "Ecchi!" And she slapped his head.
Now it was Kagome and Inuyasha's turn to cringe at the sight of the growing bulge on Miroku's head. Not to mention the dumb look and the way he was watching invisible stars that only he could see flying around his head.
Kagome huffed and stood up, looking down at Inuyasha. "I'd get you out of my damn body before you totally ruin it!" Kagome stomped and then folded her arms over her chest looking down at him. "You know you are hitting on yourself right? Isn't there some word for perverts who get turned on from themselves?" Kagome asked and sighed before turning away. "Oh yeah, bachelors." Kagome muttered sitting with her back to Inuyasha, her cheeks blushing red.
Miroku tried to keep a respectable look about him. "Sango," He began knowing full well he deserved that smack. "What would you do to me if I was a bad boy trapped in a woman's body?" Miroku asked, in a sudden movement grasping her hands. "Would you still have my children?"
Shippo crawled out from under the text book and sighed. "Inuyasha has truly gone insane. First trying to attack Kagome, then seducing me with lewd talk and now in love with himself. What type of friends are we if we don't do anything to help???" Shippo wailed.
"Yelling that I was hitting on you is not help, Shippo!" Inuyasha yelled, leaning against a tree and sulking.
Sango stared at Miroku. Okay, she wasn't the most knowledgeable person about sex, but... "That's physically impossible! And no, I wouldn't, because after I had them you'd probably kick me out!"
Shippo huffed. "Well, you might not want to go and bathe, Inuyasha, but I do, so I'm going to the spring."
Inuyasha was ready to pull his hair out in frustration. "I do want to bathe! Kagome won't let me! She'll kill me if I go near the water, and then she'll get Sango to kill me even more and get Miroku to curse me, all because I wanted to be clean!" His frustration spent, he sulked again. "You'd think Kagome of all people would understand that."
Kagome whirled around at him, just in time also to catch Shippo's clothes. "Look! It's not that I mind your being clean! In fact, I would be very grateful if you were to clean my body, but I don't trust you with my body! There's a reason Sango and I clobber you and Miroku when you come to spy on us!" Kagome retorted, folding Shippo's clothes neatly and putting them by the fire to warm up for when he finishes his bath.
"Like I told you, Inuyasha, you're as bad as Miroku! Now would you focus- and stop pulling at my underwear! A thong is meant to be a wedgy!" Kagome hissed at him, not sure if to laugh or cry.
Changing the subject, Kagome sighed and sat down despondently. "How are we suppose to find that dumb pig demon?" Kagome moaned.
"Boar demon." She was corrected.
Kagome sighed and shrugged. "Pork chops for all I care!" Kagome yelped and pouted, putting her chin in between her fisted hands. "We've so got to get out of these bodies before we get too comfortable- Did you hear me Inuyasha? Don't get comfortable in there!" Kagome warned and scratched her crotch. "I know I can't... What's so itchy there anyway!?"
Miroku paled and threw Kagome, well, Inuyasha really a 'be a man and stop her for all that is holy!' look. Looking at Sango, Miroku edged away. "It wasn't like that..."
"Gah!" He was over to his old body and swiping her hand away in the blink of an eye. "How many times do I have to tell you not to do that? Deal with it, Kagome! If you promise not to scratch this.. Dental floss, then you can not scratch, got it?" He sighed and looked down at himself. At least he didn't have to wear the school uniform. But the thong? Didn't she have any normal underwear other than..
He suddenly realized what she had been wearing under her skirt the whole time he had been traveling with her and got a nose bleed. Miroku watched Inuyasha, ignoring Sango's rant and wondering what had been going through Inuyasha's head. when he suddenly understood and got a nosebleed of his own.
Inuyasha held his nose and tried to think of something else, other than the idea of cute, innocent little Kagome dressing like a school girl and wearing a thong underneath that green thing she called a skirt. "Um. so does anybody else thing this area is pretty familiar?"
Kagome narrowed her eyes at both men. "What is going on between you two?!" Kagome demanded.
"Nothing.." both of them suspiciously answered.
Inuyasha continued. "No, no, I mean it. This area looks really familiar to me! We haven't accidentally stumbled into Kouga's land or anything, have we?" he asked, suddenly very nervous and unsure of where they were.
Kagome shook her head. "No, Kouga's area is waaay back there.... Now, what is up between you?" She asked, once again, ignoring his statements.
Sango rolled her eyes. "They thought about you wearing a short skirt and a thong at the same time and a tiny vessel burst from the sudden onslaught of blood at that rather perverted thought," she explained, glaring at both males. "You really are starting to act like Miroku." Sango accused and then turned on Miroku, while pointing at Kagome's body. "But I bet you that HE still wouldn't have kicked me out! And I bet that if Kagome in her thong and sailor outfit was willing to spend the night with you, you wouldn't shame HER by turning away her affections! "
"Eh..." Kagome bounced up and grabbed Inuyasha's hand. "This is our cue to run." Kagome hissed at him, stopping and waving at them a quick salute. "We're going to go try and figure out why this place looks so familiar to Inuyasha! Try... Not to kill yourselves!" Kagome called and walked a short distance away with Inuyasha before releasing her hand. "Sit!"
Crouching down by her face in the ground, Kagome huffed. "Stop thinking about me in a thong. You are the one who picked that out when you decided since you are dressed in the body, you'll choose what I wear, and Souta for helping you into my underwear drawer..." Kagome mashed her fist against the palm of her hand. "Now, this place DOES look familiar. Got any ideas?" waving her hand around to indicate, and accidentally slicing a branch off.
Miroku could feel a sweat drop collecting before he composed himself. "Now, Sango, you know it wasn't like that!" Miroku implored.
The monk was silent a moment, and then he finally sighed, his eyes turning thoughtful. "I'm sorry if I offended you, Sango. That was not my intent, I assure you." She opened her mouth to speak, and he covered it with a finger. The furious blush on her cheeks made him smile slightly in return. "You promised not to interrupt me, Sango. I was thinking of. of how badly you would beat me the following morning when you woke up, realize you dipped a little heavily into the sake, and that you had spent the night with me."
Sango's eyes widened.
She smacked his hand away and then his cheek. "Pervert! I was going to make out, a little, maybe, I dunno, but not sleep with you! I have dignity! I don't know what type of women you know..." She said narrowing her eyes suspiciously at him.
Shaking her head, Sango picked her boomerang up and turned on her foot. "Kirara, sick!"
Kirara wagged her tails once, cocked her head and 'Meow?'
Miroku began to feel very nervous. He gingerly rubbed his cheek. Ahhh! He could have made out with Sango all night, and he had screwed over his chance! Nooo! He sat up on his knees and grabbed her hand, trying to gather all his scattered pieces of dignity and act suave. "Sango, please, forgive me. I was being a lecher, I will admit it at last. But it could have been worse! What if I had acted like a pervert, instead of a gentleman?" he demanded, his hand already sneaking around her back and up her leg.
Sango's blush was deepening, and his words were reaching her, but when his hand sneaked up her butt...
SMACK.
Sango held the boomerang above Miroku's head, the bump already forming from where the tip hit. "Miroku, what gentleman!?!? You shunned me away! And don't think I haven't seen you with that woman from that village that time. Pervert!!!"
Kirara covered her eyes with her paw. "Meow?"
"As I pointed out already, I never would have turned you away had I understood at the time that all you wanted was to enjoy my company and not the spend the night with me," he said, ignoring the bump on his head, just kneeling in the dirt and staring at the ground with his eyes closed. "My sincerest apologies. If you ever feel such a need for human companionship again, please Sango, my door -or bedroll, as the case so often is- is always open."
Sango felt her hands shake on the boomerang. "That won't happen again! Sake is evil! I am not e-v-e-r drinking it again! Forget about it!" Sango said and turned around, her back straight and rigid as she looked away from him. "Hmpf! You are... Such.. A lech!" Sango said, her eyes wide and her blush as red as fire, when thinking about Miroku's words.
Sure, he never asked her to have his kids, but he did invite her to his bedroll. Who did he think she was!?
He grinned, looking up at her, and finding that she had turned around. When he realized he was staring at her backside, Miroku felt his nose start to bleed. He turned around himself, trying to stop the blood before he burst some other, much more vital, vessel. "Ah, Sango," he sighed, laughing as he wiped his upper lip. "I can see through that hard exterior you keep around yourself. You and I are very similar. We are both extremes. In my case, I am a monk and as you say, a pervert. And in your case, you are both a demon slayer and a blushing maiden. An enticing combination." Here Miroku smirked, and found he had succeeded in stopping his bloody nose from further bleeding. "However can I possibly explain my deep regrets for offending the slayer and rejecting the maiden? It's impossible. It can't be done. But I am. Sorry, I mean."
Sango narrowed her eyes and look over her shoulder at Miroku. "I... l... me... Meh." She muttered looking away and folding her arms over her chest. Stupid monk. Stupid perverted monk. Crazed and insane monk.
'What do I care?' Sango thought to herself as she walked away, carrying her boomerang as always over her shoulder. 'It's not like we're an item or anything. We're just friends, traveling partners, killing companions, searchers for Naraku. But otherwise? No romantic involvement. Maybe it was best this way.' Sighing, Sango turned to look at Miroku still sitting on his knees.
"I accept your apology. Lets put this all behind us. I mean, it's not as though if I was sober I would've done that." Sango said with a shrug, tossing her long hair over her shoulder. "You on the other hand.. Would you stop trying to see around my waist at my back side?" Sango demanded and then, once again, narrowed her eyes and looked like a divine vision of fury. "Miroku," She said in a low patient voice. Definite evidence that he was about to be walloped. "You have a little bit of blood, right, there." Sango said pointing a damning finger at him.
"Can't you even apologize with a clean heart?!" She asked and let out an angry growl. "Argh!" She turned on her feet and stumped them into the ground. "And to think!" Sango trudged away angrily, Kirara following far behind, but following non the less. "Sake is evil..." Sango murmured thinking again as to how nice and sweet Miroku's lips tasted. "Pure evil." She muttered remembering being flung out.
Oh well, past is past and future is future and that is what counts. The future. "I should slay Sake."
Fireash: All shall be revealed. As for Miroku's age. I dunno. Old enough to be lecherous and legal about it. How's that for an answer?
insomni-maniac: hehehe glad you enjoyed! Yes! Yabows is today's magic key word! Just. Remember to breath after saying it.
Ghoul King: Yeah. You know, he is starting to worry me. Maybe he should switch bodies sometime soon? I think that would help his mental breakdown out. You know, give him a real sense of self. Something, I think he truly needs.
dinkydaelf: Ooooo I hope you get those!! I know I did! Hehehe. Inuyasha manga!!! As for Shippo's emotional scarring, I never said WHO Shippo was scaring. Plus, you aren't a cat so the saying doesn't effect you. Does it?
Lei Xang: Yes. We are always this crazy and you know you love it.
The-Real-Rosie-Gamgee: We managed to confused you!!! Woohooo!!!!!
SilentChaos89: Glad you like and here's another update! Just. Careful with that 'sit' command, k? I mean, poor Inuyasha. Kagome does enough of that to him as is! Why add on to Inu-boy's poor suffering?
ME: First, we hope you changed your pants. And second, we are glad it made you laugh for so long! We know it did us! Then again, by the end of that chappie we were laughing at practically anything. Maybe we should get seat guards, for when we fall off of them.
Milady Goddess: We did! Here it is!
Silver Eyes Bright: Read and find out! The tar and feathers are over there on the side if you need them.
Crazymangagirl: We noticed and we love you too!
Orion Kohaishu: Ah yes. The self inflicted kiss. That was funny, as well as disturbing. It's even worse then imagining Inuyasha kissing himself in the mirror!
Kris-chan: We are glad you enjoyed! And yes, poor Inuyasha being sexually harassed that way. I tell you, walk a day in Kagome's shoes. Poor girl. Well, at least they didn't meet a pack of bandits yet! Hey. That could be an idea. j/k! Shippo's emotional scarring is unique. True enough. And some of the sentences are meant to be confusing, seeing as this is a confusing situation they are in. Though we will do our best to try and clarify them out a bit. Thanks for the advice!
Ryguy5387: Just think how the world would look if we all had an imagination like Shippo's!
Silver Goddess1 & AssassinReiX: Muahahaha! Done!
Thank you to all of you who reviewed! Or just plain read our story and enjoyed! We really appreciate this feedback and are simply overjoyed knowing that you are enjoying the story so much! Please keep on enjoying our story (as well as reviewing) we love you tons and wish you all a happy holiday season!
* * * *
Chapter Fourteen!
Shippo, at that same moment, was explaining the same thing to Inuyasha as they walked towards the shrine. "See, it started off with sake. Lots of it! Sango got really depressed, but I don't know why. And then Miroku joined in drinking with her. Before you could pray that nothing bad would happen, their faces were red, and they were up and dancing about the cabin they were in. And while the danced, he kind of grabbed her ass. Do you know what happened then, Inuyasha?"
"I can't possibly guess," he said dryly, turning on the steps to see if he could see the shrine.
"She didn't hit him."
Shippo fell off his shoulder when he suddenly jumped. "You're shitting me! She didn't slap him?" Inuyasha giggled loudly. "I knew something was up with those two! He's leaking his perversion into her, and she likes it! She actually likes it!" Then he realized what he was saying, and acting. "Ack! I'm starting to act like Kagome's gossipy friends! What happened next?"
"Well, then they kind of kicked me out," the young demon admitted. "But I could still hear everything. They talked for a moment, and then they started going at it like rabbit demons during mating season. They're really loud, you know that? Panting and stuff. But then Miroku realized what he was doing, and said he couldn't do it. He said it was because he respected her too much." Shippo nodded. "So he kicked Sango out of his room, and she's been pissed ever since."
Kagome's jaw dropped before she smacked Miroku upside down over the head with her bow. "You idiot!!" Kagome yelled at him. "What type of a behavior is that?! And what happened to your monki-ness?!?" Kagome demanded before realizing how that sounded. "I mean, don't you have ANY respect for her feelings?!" Kagome asked and stomped her foot with a loud 'HMPF', before striding over to Sango's side and adding some claw power to the deal. Her own little anger management at the demon for the stupidity of men.
"So, Miroku probably didn't mean it the way it worked out..." Kagome told Sango, thinking over Miroku's story. "At least he didn't go around pretending to your friends he is you and telling them, that he is a demon in the sac. While you don't even want to focus on that issue one bit." Kagome offered with a shrug before leaping in the air and shooting an arrow at the demon.
Landing back on the ground with her knees bent, Kagome peaked up from under thick silver bangs at Sango. The demon dead, while Sango hacked away at it. "Uh... It's... Ya know.. Dead. But if you want, Miroku is still alive." Kagome said jotting her thumb over her shoulder.
"Don't tempt me!" Sango snapped. But she spun on him anyway, glared, advanced. And stopped. She advanced again. "Too much respect for me? Too much respect for me?! You touch me all the time, you. you. ask everyone to bear your children, and yet when I give the opportunity to kiss me you say that you can't because you respect me too much? You're an idiot, houshi-sama, an idiot! And a perverted idiot, which is just worse!" She grabbed her weapon and stormed off.
Inuyasha, still on the steps with Shippo, sighed, thinking of Kagome. "And I though I was bad with women." He thought of something else, and told Shippo the riddle. "Does it mean anything to you?"
He shook his head. "Either way, Inuyasha, I don't think we can keep on like this for very long. We need to go and continue looking for the shards. You might not be able to fight, but Kagome still can, and there's still Sango and Miroku. And there's me too. I can protect you, Inuyasha!" he chirped.
Inuyasha never wanted to have to hear Shippo say that again. It was just too creepy.
* * *
"Inuyasha! NO! You are not going bathing with Sango!!!" Kagome yelled loud enough to make the birds in the trees rustle. Since they had started up with their shard hunt again, it just continued like this. Inuyasha being grumpy, Kagome irritable, Sango the super slayer and Miroku. Well, he was smart enough to avoid Sango. That was good enough for now. As for Shippo and Kirara. Shippo was making a personal diary of the insane group of slaves he owns.
Sighing, Kagome sat back down on the log near the fire and relaced her shoes. Just because Inuyasha walked around barefoot didn't mean SHE had too! And her pink sketchers were just so comfortable too! Leaning back, Kagome pulled a brush out of her yellow backpack and began brushing through her silver hair.
"Might be stuck in another body, but I'll at least keep myself clean and neat!" Kagome muttered as she worked the knots out of her hair. Kagome narrowed her eyes at Inuyasha. "I remember last time, and what happened to my bra. You know, those things are expensive! You can't suddenly decide to use them for fishing while taking a bath!" Kagome scolded him, probably for the millionth time over that matter. "Besides, I don't have the strength to blindfold you and washing myself is just too creepy- No. You are not getting to wash me. Forget about it. This body is off limits to you!" Kagome cut off his line of argument.
"But I already know every inch of it!" Inuyasha complained, a certain sense of wisdom in his ears. He stared at Kagome, pouting and feeling hurt that she wouldn't even look at him. She just sat there, brushing the hair. He leaned over and poked her. "I bet I know why. It's because you liked it too much. It's not you worrying about me touching you, you're worried about you feeling me touch you! You just can't bear to let a gorgeous gal like me out of your sights, let alone to feel me touching you."
He paused, smilingly teasingly. "But if you really don't want me bathing with Sango, I can wait and do it by myself. Just think of it, Kagome! Me, in the water by myself." He arched an eyebrow, wondering if she got his point. "And naked, with no one to watch out for monsters, or to make sure a demon like me behaves myself as I scrub.."
He suddenly had a calculus book on his face and was on the ground.
Oh yeah, she got it.
Sitting on top of him, Kagome glared down at her face. "Now. Listen here!" Kagome began, when he tried to throw her off, Kagome screamed for him to 'sit'.
The others cringed.
"A gorgeous gal!?? Inuyasha! Are you listening to yourself?!?!" Kagome asked gripping her body by her shoulders and shaking it. Appalled at what mama would think when she saw how dirty her clothes were. Didn't Inuyasha know how to AVOID the mud pits?! "Inuyasha, you are a GUY. A g-u-y! Boy! Male! XY chromosome! Not a gal!" Kagome urged him before stopping with her fists still in his shirt, pulling his face to hers and staring scrupulously into his, err... her, brown eyes. "Gorgeous? You think I'm gorgeous?" Kagome asked.
"Oh, and don't even use the bathing excuse with me." Kagome warned. "Remember, I still have hold of your body!" Kagome hissed.
Taking much risk upon his life, Miroku leaned over to Sango and covered his mouth. "Is it only me, or is this conversation filled with many sexual innuendoes not appropriate for the ears of such innocents as Shippo?" Miroku whispered to her.
Shippo looked up from his chocolate bar. Face completely covered with it. "Eh? What? I am not an innocent! I'm a brave and powerful youkai!" Shippo declared and after a few contemplative licks of his candy bar leapt into the air.
"Ahhhhh! Inuyasha is trying to seduce me again and corrupt my precious priceless innocence!!!!"
"I already said I found you attractive," Inuyasha grumbled, staring at his own face. "So yeah, I guess I do.. I'm not trying to seduce you, Shippo!!" Inuyasha flung the calculus textbook in the young demon's direction. He grinned up at her, still feeling playful. "And what would you do to my body, Kagome, hm? Come on, tell me what you would do to me if I was bad little girl. er, man trapped in a female body."
Sango couldn't help but nod. "I think their conversation might be too sexually suggestive for even you, houshi-sama." Then she remembered the indignation she had felt when he had turned her out. Sango wasn't really that mad that he hadn't wanted to touch her because of respect, but the fact that he had turned her out. "Ecchi!" And she slapped his head.
Now it was Kagome and Inuyasha's turn to cringe at the sight of the growing bulge on Miroku's head. Not to mention the dumb look and the way he was watching invisible stars that only he could see flying around his head.
Kagome huffed and stood up, looking down at Inuyasha. "I'd get you out of my damn body before you totally ruin it!" Kagome stomped and then folded her arms over her chest looking down at him. "You know you are hitting on yourself right? Isn't there some word for perverts who get turned on from themselves?" Kagome asked and sighed before turning away. "Oh yeah, bachelors." Kagome muttered sitting with her back to Inuyasha, her cheeks blushing red.
Miroku tried to keep a respectable look about him. "Sango," He began knowing full well he deserved that smack. "What would you do to me if I was a bad boy trapped in a woman's body?" Miroku asked, in a sudden movement grasping her hands. "Would you still have my children?"
Shippo crawled out from under the text book and sighed. "Inuyasha has truly gone insane. First trying to attack Kagome, then seducing me with lewd talk and now in love with himself. What type of friends are we if we don't do anything to help???" Shippo wailed.
"Yelling that I was hitting on you is not help, Shippo!" Inuyasha yelled, leaning against a tree and sulking.
Sango stared at Miroku. Okay, she wasn't the most knowledgeable person about sex, but... "That's physically impossible! And no, I wouldn't, because after I had them you'd probably kick me out!"
Shippo huffed. "Well, you might not want to go and bathe, Inuyasha, but I do, so I'm going to the spring."
Inuyasha was ready to pull his hair out in frustration. "I do want to bathe! Kagome won't let me! She'll kill me if I go near the water, and then she'll get Sango to kill me even more and get Miroku to curse me, all because I wanted to be clean!" His frustration spent, he sulked again. "You'd think Kagome of all people would understand that."
Kagome whirled around at him, just in time also to catch Shippo's clothes. "Look! It's not that I mind your being clean! In fact, I would be very grateful if you were to clean my body, but I don't trust you with my body! There's a reason Sango and I clobber you and Miroku when you come to spy on us!" Kagome retorted, folding Shippo's clothes neatly and putting them by the fire to warm up for when he finishes his bath.
"Like I told you, Inuyasha, you're as bad as Miroku! Now would you focus- and stop pulling at my underwear! A thong is meant to be a wedgy!" Kagome hissed at him, not sure if to laugh or cry.
Changing the subject, Kagome sighed and sat down despondently. "How are we suppose to find that dumb pig demon?" Kagome moaned.
"Boar demon." She was corrected.
Kagome sighed and shrugged. "Pork chops for all I care!" Kagome yelped and pouted, putting her chin in between her fisted hands. "We've so got to get out of these bodies before we get too comfortable- Did you hear me Inuyasha? Don't get comfortable in there!" Kagome warned and scratched her crotch. "I know I can't... What's so itchy there anyway!?"
Miroku paled and threw Kagome, well, Inuyasha really a 'be a man and stop her for all that is holy!' look. Looking at Sango, Miroku edged away. "It wasn't like that..."
"Gah!" He was over to his old body and swiping her hand away in the blink of an eye. "How many times do I have to tell you not to do that? Deal with it, Kagome! If you promise not to scratch this.. Dental floss, then you can not scratch, got it?" He sighed and looked down at himself. At least he didn't have to wear the school uniform. But the thong? Didn't she have any normal underwear other than..
He suddenly realized what she had been wearing under her skirt the whole time he had been traveling with her and got a nose bleed. Miroku watched Inuyasha, ignoring Sango's rant and wondering what had been going through Inuyasha's head. when he suddenly understood and got a nosebleed of his own.
Inuyasha held his nose and tried to think of something else, other than the idea of cute, innocent little Kagome dressing like a school girl and wearing a thong underneath that green thing she called a skirt. "Um. so does anybody else thing this area is pretty familiar?"
Kagome narrowed her eyes at both men. "What is going on between you two?!" Kagome demanded.
"Nothing.." both of them suspiciously answered.
Inuyasha continued. "No, no, I mean it. This area looks really familiar to me! We haven't accidentally stumbled into Kouga's land or anything, have we?" he asked, suddenly very nervous and unsure of where they were.
Kagome shook her head. "No, Kouga's area is waaay back there.... Now, what is up between you?" She asked, once again, ignoring his statements.
Sango rolled her eyes. "They thought about you wearing a short skirt and a thong at the same time and a tiny vessel burst from the sudden onslaught of blood at that rather perverted thought," she explained, glaring at both males. "You really are starting to act like Miroku." Sango accused and then turned on Miroku, while pointing at Kagome's body. "But I bet you that HE still wouldn't have kicked me out! And I bet that if Kagome in her thong and sailor outfit was willing to spend the night with you, you wouldn't shame HER by turning away her affections! "
"Eh..." Kagome bounced up and grabbed Inuyasha's hand. "This is our cue to run." Kagome hissed at him, stopping and waving at them a quick salute. "We're going to go try and figure out why this place looks so familiar to Inuyasha! Try... Not to kill yourselves!" Kagome called and walked a short distance away with Inuyasha before releasing her hand. "Sit!"
Crouching down by her face in the ground, Kagome huffed. "Stop thinking about me in a thong. You are the one who picked that out when you decided since you are dressed in the body, you'll choose what I wear, and Souta for helping you into my underwear drawer..." Kagome mashed her fist against the palm of her hand. "Now, this place DOES look familiar. Got any ideas?" waving her hand around to indicate, and accidentally slicing a branch off.
Miroku could feel a sweat drop collecting before he composed himself. "Now, Sango, you know it wasn't like that!" Miroku implored.
The monk was silent a moment, and then he finally sighed, his eyes turning thoughtful. "I'm sorry if I offended you, Sango. That was not my intent, I assure you." She opened her mouth to speak, and he covered it with a finger. The furious blush on her cheeks made him smile slightly in return. "You promised not to interrupt me, Sango. I was thinking of. of how badly you would beat me the following morning when you woke up, realize you dipped a little heavily into the sake, and that you had spent the night with me."
Sango's eyes widened.
She smacked his hand away and then his cheek. "Pervert! I was going to make out, a little, maybe, I dunno, but not sleep with you! I have dignity! I don't know what type of women you know..." She said narrowing her eyes suspiciously at him.
Shaking her head, Sango picked her boomerang up and turned on her foot. "Kirara, sick!"
Kirara wagged her tails once, cocked her head and 'Meow?'
Miroku began to feel very nervous. He gingerly rubbed his cheek. Ahhh! He could have made out with Sango all night, and he had screwed over his chance! Nooo! He sat up on his knees and grabbed her hand, trying to gather all his scattered pieces of dignity and act suave. "Sango, please, forgive me. I was being a lecher, I will admit it at last. But it could have been worse! What if I had acted like a pervert, instead of a gentleman?" he demanded, his hand already sneaking around her back and up her leg.
Sango's blush was deepening, and his words were reaching her, but when his hand sneaked up her butt...
SMACK.
Sango held the boomerang above Miroku's head, the bump already forming from where the tip hit. "Miroku, what gentleman!?!? You shunned me away! And don't think I haven't seen you with that woman from that village that time. Pervert!!!"
Kirara covered her eyes with her paw. "Meow?"
"As I pointed out already, I never would have turned you away had I understood at the time that all you wanted was to enjoy my company and not the spend the night with me," he said, ignoring the bump on his head, just kneeling in the dirt and staring at the ground with his eyes closed. "My sincerest apologies. If you ever feel such a need for human companionship again, please Sango, my door -or bedroll, as the case so often is- is always open."
Sango felt her hands shake on the boomerang. "That won't happen again! Sake is evil! I am not e-v-e-r drinking it again! Forget about it!" Sango said and turned around, her back straight and rigid as she looked away from him. "Hmpf! You are... Such.. A lech!" Sango said, her eyes wide and her blush as red as fire, when thinking about Miroku's words.
Sure, he never asked her to have his kids, but he did invite her to his bedroll. Who did he think she was!?
He grinned, looking up at her, and finding that she had turned around. When he realized he was staring at her backside, Miroku felt his nose start to bleed. He turned around himself, trying to stop the blood before he burst some other, much more vital, vessel. "Ah, Sango," he sighed, laughing as he wiped his upper lip. "I can see through that hard exterior you keep around yourself. You and I are very similar. We are both extremes. In my case, I am a monk and as you say, a pervert. And in your case, you are both a demon slayer and a blushing maiden. An enticing combination." Here Miroku smirked, and found he had succeeded in stopping his bloody nose from further bleeding. "However can I possibly explain my deep regrets for offending the slayer and rejecting the maiden? It's impossible. It can't be done. But I am. Sorry, I mean."
Sango narrowed her eyes and look over her shoulder at Miroku. "I... l... me... Meh." She muttered looking away and folding her arms over her chest. Stupid monk. Stupid perverted monk. Crazed and insane monk.
'What do I care?' Sango thought to herself as she walked away, carrying her boomerang as always over her shoulder. 'It's not like we're an item or anything. We're just friends, traveling partners, killing companions, searchers for Naraku. But otherwise? No romantic involvement. Maybe it was best this way.' Sighing, Sango turned to look at Miroku still sitting on his knees.
"I accept your apology. Lets put this all behind us. I mean, it's not as though if I was sober I would've done that." Sango said with a shrug, tossing her long hair over her shoulder. "You on the other hand.. Would you stop trying to see around my waist at my back side?" Sango demanded and then, once again, narrowed her eyes and looked like a divine vision of fury. "Miroku," She said in a low patient voice. Definite evidence that he was about to be walloped. "You have a little bit of blood, right, there." Sango said pointing a damning finger at him.
"Can't you even apologize with a clean heart?!" She asked and let out an angry growl. "Argh!" She turned on her feet and stumped them into the ground. "And to think!" Sango trudged away angrily, Kirara following far behind, but following non the less. "Sake is evil..." Sango murmured thinking again as to how nice and sweet Miroku's lips tasted. "Pure evil." She muttered remembering being flung out.
Oh well, past is past and future is future and that is what counts. The future. "I should slay Sake."