Romancing the Ambergris

Chapter 5:

For the fourth time that day (that Valentine's Day), Andy and Paige was confronted by the two giant hagfishes and their master, Sloppy Joe. Somehow, the fact they were on dry land didn't make it any less terrifying. The hagfishes themselves seemed barely able to contain themselves. They were scavengers by nature and right now the smell of the rotting carcass was titillating their sensitive olfactory sensors. It was hard to tell if it was just their signature slime dripping off their monstrous heads or if it was also drool brought about by anticipation.

'Darn it! Just as I was getting somewhere with Paige all these problems pile up at once.' Andy thought to himself. 'First we discover that all that gas has turned the fricking whale into a legit bomb and now these bottom feeders will turn us into chew-toys while their filthy owner watch. Wait a second…' His eyes dilated in realization. 'Maybe one problem is the solution to another.' Andy's lips curved into a grin so mischievous that Roger Pink-Eye would have been proud.

"Joe, wait! I've already found the ambergris!" The white clad Grossologist shouted in a hurry.

Sloppy Joe raised an eyebrow. "Really? Give it to me!"

"I will but first I need you to promise me to not harm me or my girlfriend here." Andy exclaimed.

"Andy!" Paige screeched in protest.

"Fine." Sloppy Joe held his aquanaut helmet underneath his right arm and raised his left hand, honourable. "I, Sloppy Joe, proud owner of Ringworm City's finest toenail collection and former captain of SS Joe, promise on my stench to not harm you or your banshee girlfriend." The green skinned oaf then smiled down at the teenagers like a child expecting a treat.

As strange as it seemed, Andy believed him. While he had no personal experience with the grimy criminal he could extrapolate from Ty's and Abby's files that Sloppy Joe didn't actually seek to hurt people but his childlike mind usually enabled him from understanding the consequences of his actions.

"It's inside that dead sperm whale." Andy pointed at the aforementioned carcass. "Just let your pets rip open the stomach and claim it. And I'll tell you, it's a big one. So, are you gonna let us go?"

"It's a deal." Sloppy Joe proclaimed.

"Andy, you god damn quitter! It's Heave it or Leave it all over again!" Paige shouted furiously.

Sloppy Joe laughed. "No hard feelings kid but the better pirate captain always gets the booty. Mildred, Haggard, yip yip." He hooted while bouncing slightly atop Haggard's head. The two mutated hagfishes advanced quickly towards the carcass, ignoring the two teenagers as they passed them.

"Now, we have the chance to leave." Andy stated as he grabbed his companion's hand, tapped his boots together a few times in order to activate their hover function. Andy's hover boots didn't exactly fly, definitely not to the extent Ty's jetpack did, but they did increase his speed as he hovered over the ground, dragging Paige along with him.

"I aint leaving!" Paige yelled and yanked her hand free. Andy stopped and turned to look at her. "I am Paige Logan and if I want something I take it. We've gone thru too much to let that dumpster diver take it!" The rich girl declared and marched off with bold steps towards the villain.

"Paige, wait!" Andy called out and flew after her.

Like pigs at a troth, the two hagfishes had started tearing into the dead sperm whale. Hagfish has no jaws, instead their sharp teeth protrude from a pair of bonnie plates that pushed out of their mouths. They latched onto the soft meat, finding the weak spots with their barbels before thrashing their heads violently while twisting their entire bodies in an attempt to dislodge the flesh, casting off huge amount of mucus in the process.

"Hey!" Paige shouted to get Sloppy Joe's attention.

The two hagfishes thrashed and rolled against the whale body until…

BOOM!*

The dead sperm whale exploded in an outburst of blood, flesh and inner organs, turning the surrounding air crimson. Having been at the centre of the explosion, Sloppy Joe and the hagfishes were sent flying high into the air, pushed away by the massive force of the explosion.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" *SPLASH*

Sloppy Joe's screams of fear ended once they landed in the ocean, thousands of feet off Chum Rock.

Paige froze in fear as she saw a literal hailstorm of blood and putrid flesh coming towards her. Acting quickly, Andy tapped a button on his belt just as he flew in front of Paige and his slimesuit almost immediately inflated like a balloon, although he remained airborne. The blood and bits of meat rained down on Andy's bloated back but his face and his girl remained unstained.

Paige saw the downpour of blood and gore all around her yet she remained unscathed. The bloody storm only lasted a second or two but to her it seemed like an eternity. Paige did not know if it was gratitude, relief or excitement that filled her but in the heat of the moment she grabbed Andy's head and planted a big, wet kiss on his lips.

A few seconds after the downpour passed, Paige and Andy separated, both with a confused look on their face. "Did-did I just do that?" The blonde asked herself, puzzled.

A goofy chuckle escaped Andy's throat before he broke out in nervous laughter, all while his slimesuit slowly deflated. Once it was back to its usual form, he stumbled around in an awkward little dance, his face completely red before passing out and falling to the ground.

"Oh boy, how will I explain this?" Paige vented while scratching the back of her head. Then her eyes caught something that made her perk up. There, in the middle of the strewn around remains of the sperm whale was a big rock and despite the blood stains, it was obviously yellow. "The ambergris!" Paige hollered before running towards the prized boulder.

At that moment, Andy woke up and saw Paige dancing around the ambergris like some sort of mythical fairy. He smiled and gave a thumbs up. "Mission accomplished."

Meanwhile in Ringworm City…

"What do you think of my ride, LabRat? Pretty nit, eh?" Roger asked as the van speeded thru the city streets.

"It's a fit for a creep like you." LabRat snapped at him from the back of the van. "Although I'm surprised to see a high school freshman drive one of these things."

"My new pals have taught me a lot of new things. I ain't the Pink-Eye I used to be." The freckled boy mused.

"What new pals and for the eleventh time; where are you taking me?!" LabRat demanded to know and started thrashing in his slimey bonds.

"We all have secrets LabRat. The difference is that today, you will spill yours."

Sally Slime-Girl stretched out her elastic neck to lean over the front seat. "Where are we taking him anyway? To one of the society's secret locals?"

"Society's?" LabRat peaked up at hearing that.

"Shush, Sally." Roger snapped at his partner. "Just keep an eye on the prisoner and let me worry about where we're going."

Sally sighed frustrated as she retracted her neck and sat down in the back of the van, arms crossed over her chest. She then noticed LabRat glaring at her from across the cabin. "What?"

"Was it all a lie?" The young scientist asked.

"Of course it was!" Sally hissed. "The Alicia persona, my slimebook account. It was all a facade."

"So you don't actually like Star Voyager or science or rats?"

"Of course I didn't. I was briefed on your likes and dislikes so I could pretend to be a girl you could get along with." The mutated girl explained.

LabRat sighed. "So I fell in love with a girl that didn't even exist."

Sally's eyes narrowed. "What? Are you trying to make me feel bad for you? Cause if you hadn't noticed by the skull face and the slimy skin job, I have bigger things to worry about than some computer geek's broken heart!"

LabRat turned his gaze away from her. While he still felt hurt, he was sharp enough to notice something important. 'For her to know so much about me she must have been guided by someone who knows me intimately. Roger certainly doesn't so who? Who's really pulling the strings here?'

Roger's van drove out of the city and continued on the country road for another half-hour. Eventually, the vehicle steered off the road and drove onto a vast grass field. Roger parked the car, stepped out and went to open the side hatchet. "Sally, get that rat out of my ride."

Sally connected one of her tendrils with LabRat's bonds and hurled him out of the van. The Grossologist landed in the grass with a thud and he groaned in pain. Roger grabbed him by the jacket and hoisted him onto a sitting position.

"Look around you, LabRat." Roger exclaimed, grand gesturing with open arms. "Open land. No roofs or ceilings in sight. Just an expansive field and open skies." He leaned closer to his captive, grinning sadistically. "Doesn't this trigger something in you? A phobia of some kind?" His tone grew more serious. "Now listen, I will let you back into my comfy van if you tell us how to get inside the gaglab."

LabRat's eyes shifted and after a moment of silence he said; "Nah."

Roger raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"I mean, yeah my agoraphobia is acting up a little but you can't just take me outside and expect me to do whatever you want."

The freckled teenager clutched his chin. "Well, that's a problem. I don't really know what to do now."

Roger and Sally shared a puzzled look. Sally then wrapped up LabRat's ankles in a tendril and proceeded to lift him upside down. "Tell us where the gaglab is!" She demanded while shaking him like a baby bottle.

"NoOoOo." LabRat gurgled.

That was when Roger noticed something. "Wait a minute!" He grabbed LabRat's arm and rolled up the sleeve. "What's this?" Pink-Eye asked, pointing to the GrossWatch on the Grossologist's wrist.

LabRat blinked. "Nothing."

"It looks like Grossology tech." Roger exclaimed before shooting his partner a glare. "Did you not check if he had any gadgets on his person?"

"I-I didn't think of that." Sally anxiously responded. "I thought getting rid of the backpack was enough."

Suddenly, all three were blinded by a powerful light shining from above. Shielding his eyes with his hand, Roger tried to perceive the light source and saw an orange aircraft with mechanical insect-wings hovering above them.

"Step away from the nerd on the ground, kidnappers. He's with us." A male voice crackled over a loudspeaker.

Recognizing the voice, Roger snarled. "Ty."

The Ty-Mobile landed in front of LabRat and his captors. Its headlights dimmed slightly and upon seeing who the kidnappers were, Ty's eyes dilated and his jaw dropped. Naomi meanwhile squinted to see better. "Wait. Isn't that-

"Roger." Ty finished her sentence before opening the lid and leaped out of the Ty-Mobile. He took a few more strides before stopping about twelve feet in front of his former friend. "Roger?"

The freckled teenager tilted his head. "Sorry sir, I'm afraid I don't know you." He said in a mocking, sarcastic tone.

Ty took off his GrossGoggles. Roger's scowl deepened. "It's me, Roger. I'm a Grossologist." The raven haired boy stated.

"I know Ty. I always knew!" Roger growled. "Just like I knew your sister was one and recently also Andy and that blonde guy that hangs around Abby." He tilted his head a little to see over Ty's shoulder. "Is that Naomi in there? I know of her too."

"Where have you been, Roger? I've been searching for you for months." Ty vented, ignoring his former friend's taunts.

"I've been hanging with a new crowd of people, Ty. People who value my contribution. People who will make me into a better agent than you and Abby combined."

"What kind of people?"

Roger smirked. "The kind you don't want to cross."

For a moment, Ty's attention shifted to LabRat who still laid still on the ground. He then locked eyes with his former friend once again. "Please, do the right thing Roger. Let LabRat go and come with us to the bureau. We can protected you and clear your name." Ty took a step fourth. That turned out to be a mistake.

"No!" Sally Slime-Girl shouted and ejected a long arm out of her torso which slammed into Ty and pinned him to the hood of the Ty-Mobile. "Our mission was to capture Paul and drill him for information. I won't let you interfere!"

Seemingly falling from the heavens, Naomi leaped in and stabbed Sally's long arm with her gagstaff, its shockwaves obliterating the gelatinous appendage. Sally hollered in pain and backed away. Naomi spun her weapon and took a defensive stand in front of her boyfriend. "You appear to be yet another slime mold-human like Salvadore or Slim. Although I have to say, your colours are far prettier."

"Don't compliment the villain!" LabRat reprimanded from where he laid.

Ty managed to get the remaining slime off him and equipped his right arm with a goopshooter.

Roger Pink-Eye evaluated the situation. Both Grossologists were armed and one of them had a weapon to counter Sally's powers and Sally herself was still reeling from that first blowback. "Darn it! We're not ready for this." He turned his gaze at his former friend. "Hey, Ty. You can have your rat back." Roger's lips stretched into a smirk. "After all, we have one of our own." The redhead then pulled what looked like a detonator from behind his back and pressed the button.

*BANG*

The van exploded and covered the entire area in thick smoke. Ty, Naomi and LabRat all started coughing. "Roger!" Ty cried out and started running only to trip on LabRat's body and fall. Once the smoke cleared there was zero trace of either Roger or Sally. Even the slime that had encased LabRat was just gone.

"Man that was surprising. Bastard seemed so proud of that hunk of junk." LabRat said as he and Ty got up on their feet.

Naomi looked around. "Where did they go?"

"I don't know but one thing is clear; Roger is working for whoever is creating the slimemen." LabRat declared.

"What did he mean when he said they had a rat of their own?" Ty asked.

"I have no ide-

LabRat was suddenly hit by a realization that made him panic. "Hermes!" He grabbed Ty by the shoulders and stared into his eyes. "He was in my backpack when Sally took me. He must still be at the ice rink. We must go get him." He then ran towards the Ty-Mobile.

The spikey haired teen blinked, not quite sure what his teammate was talking about. "Wait, LabRat. The Ty-Mobile only has two seats."

LabRat jumped into the front. "I drive. You two love-worms can sit in each other's lap."

Naomi shot her boyfriend a puzzled look. "Did he just say love-worms?"

"Go! Now!" LabRat's roar sent the couple running for the Ty-Mobile.

The Ty-Mobile flew as fast as it could towards the ice rink. LabRat steered from the front seat while Ty sat in the backseat with Naomi curled up in his lap. Normally he wouldn't mind but this cramped space was getting uncomfortable. "I need to add an extra seat to this thing."

"So LabRat, what happened with Alicia?" Naomi asked carefully.

"I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!" LabRat shouted, silencing the passengers.

A few minutes later, inside the ice rink…

The three Grossologists rushed into the ice rink. Ty and LabRat made the mistake of running out onto the ice and slipping. LabRat landed on his face, Ty on his back. Naomi covered her mouth in concern.

"I'm so tired of falling." Ty groaned in pain.

LabRat rose onto his knees and looked around. "I don't see my backpack anywhere." He grabbed onto the wall and slowly rose onto his feet. "Someone must have stolen it… and Hermes!"

"Calm down LabRat. I'll go check the lost and found." Naomi said before walking away.

"This is bad. This is really bad. What if I'll never see Hermes again?" LabRat kept lamenting as he staggered off the ice and sat down on a bench.

"Easy, easy. LabRat." Ty tried to reassure him. "Um, maybe Hermes ran back to the gaglab or maybe to your home. He got good homing instincts that rodent."

LabRat sighed. "Yeah, yeah maybe." He tried to convince himself. "I'll call mom and see." He fished his phone out of his jacket and was surprised at what he saw. "Huh, seems like I got a message while I was kidnapped. It says; I found your pet rat and took him to the vet. He's okay. Come get him when you can. Ps: I found your backpack to."

"Well that's great." Ty cheerfully proclaimed. "Um, who's it from?"

"Unknown caller." LabRat replied before pocketing his phone and legging it out of the ice rink.

"LabRat, wait for us." Ty called out.

The Ty-Mobile touched down outside the veterinary hospital. LabRat opened the lid and was about to go out when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "LabRat, wait." Naomi exclaimed. "Before we go in, there's something Ty and I need to tell you."

LabRat said nothing but he sat back down in his seat.

"LabRat, we're sorry we sat you up on a date with someone who turned out to be an evil slime monster." Ty apologized. "Especially when you said you weren't ready but we only did it cause we wanted you to be happy."

The young engineer sighed before reluctantly forgiving his co-workers. "Your apology is accepted."

He was about to leave when Naomi started talking. "But you know, LabRat, there is something to learn from this experience."

LabRat glared over his shoulder. "Yeah, never fall in love. It's always just a trick."

Naomi's looked at her heartbroken friend with sympathetic eyes. "If that's what you want to take away from it but Roger and Sally only managed to trick you cause you didn't know her well enough. She used the anonymity of the online chatroom to hide her true self. Maybe the real takeaway is that you have to venture outside your comfort zone a bit more if you ever want to make a meaningful connection with someone."

With a mournful scowl, LabRat rose out of his seat and got out of the vehicle.

"LabRat, wait. Just give us a moment to change back to formal clothes." Ty called out. "Also we should probably park the Ty-Mobile somewhere more secluded."

LabRat groaned. "Okay but be quick."

When the Grossologists stepped into the veterinarian lobby, Ty and Naomi was in for a surprise. "Jasmine, what are you doing here?" Ty asked.

Sitting there in on one of the chairs of the waiting room was Jasmine Meadows, Ty's friend from the robot club. Jasmine had changed quite a bit in the last three years. Most notably, she had her braces removed leaving her cheeks less puffy and her teeth unexposed. Her hair had also grown out and she'd braided it into an elegant ponytail. She still wore yellow-rimmed glasses but these new ones were round rather than square. She had also traded in her olive green shirt and blue skirt for a pair of jeans and a pink t-shirt with the word NERD printed with bold, white letters. Underneath her was a white cardboard box with holes in it. She smiled upon seeing her classmates. "Oh, hey Ty. Hey Naomi. You won't believe what happened but I went to the ice rink by the university and found this backpack." She explained and held up the aforementioned backpack. "Inside I found this white rat, you know, one of those with red eyes. The poor thing was a bit shook so I brought him here just to be safe."

"Hermes, he's my friend-I mean, my pet rat." LabRat stated, thumbing his chest.

"Oh, you're Paul Squirfenherder." Jasmine exclaimed as she got off the chair, the backpack in her right hand and the cardboard box tucked under her left arm. "Here's your backpack. I found your number inside it if you're wondering." She gracefully handed him the bag. "As for your little friend…he's right here!" She jubilantly proclaimed as she shoved the cardboard box in the boy's face like it was a birthday gift.

Hermes peaked his furry little head out of the box, twitching his nose a little. "Hermes!" LabRat cheerfully exclaimed. Hermes jumped into his waiting arms and LabRat clutched him to his chest. "I was so worried about you, buddy." He lifted the little rodent and Hermes gave a quick lick to his nose. The young engineer then turned his gaze to the brunette girl. "Thank you so much for taking care of him. You have no idea what this little guy means to me."

Jasmine let out a little giggle. "I think I do. I don't know what I would do if my little Robin went missing."

LabRat raised an eyebrow. "Robin?"

"Yeah, he's my pet ferret." The freckled girl replied as she fished out her cellphone and showed him a picture of a black and white ferret sitting on a bed surrounded by stuffed animals. "See, I named him Robin cause it looks like he has a domino mask on his face."

"Cute carnivore." LabRat commented while Hermes took cover behind his owner's head, apparently frightened by the image of his natural enemy.

"What were you doing at the ice skating rink, by the way?" Ty asked. "Last I checked, winter sports weren't really your forte."

Jasmine rubbed her neck, bashfully. "Well, it's a bit embarrassing but I was actually there for a single mixer, a sort Valentine's thing but I ran a bit late cause I had to pick up cold medicine for my little brother and when I finally got there the rink was empty. The staff talked about some sort of slime monster. I couldn't make sense of it." She finished with a shrug.

"So you're single?" LabRat asked a bit too eagerly and his fellow Grossologists glared at him for it.

"Yeah. I guess I'm just more of a grease monkey than a social butterfly." Jasmine replied, blushing bashfully.

"You mean you like mechanics?" LabRat asked, grinning.

"Oh yeah, I just love working on all kinds of machinery. Computers, old cars, old motorcycles..."

"She's also captain of the school's robot club. You should see all the-

Ty ceased hammering when his girlfriend elbowed him. Naomi then shushed him. "Ty, can't you see they're having a moment?"

The spikey haired teenager eyed the newly acquainted nerds and realized his girlfriend was right. There was a tint of red around Jasmine's freckles and LabRat's eyes glistened as they gazed thru her glasses.

It wasn't big but it was definitely a moment.

Later on Chum Rock…

On the beach where Andy's sea scorpion-looking submarine had docked, the science geek had just finished setting up a makeshift lab consisting of a long table with all the equipment the young genius needed to complete his unofficial girlfriend's perfume.

Paige saw her two friends popping their heads out of the ship's exit hatchet. "Do you two wanna come out here? Andy's about to finish my perfume."

"No way. This island smells even worse now after that whale exploded." Tammy responded frustrated before retreating into the submarine, forcing Vicky down with her.

"Sissies." Paige huffed.

Andy meanwhile was chiselling off a piece of ambergris from the larger rock using a chisel and a small hammer. Using a pair of tongs, he then carefully placed the small rock in a beaker of boiling liquid that stood atop a small gas burner.

The chubby teenager then turned to his dream girl, his smile indicating he'd gone into teaching mode. "Now Paige, would you say that the ambergris smells like perfume?"

The rich girl crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "No, it smells like crap."

"Exactly, so we wouldn't want it in your perfume, would we?"

"You better not tell me we came all this way for nothing or I'm going to drown you." Paige growled.

Andy ignored her response. "No, what we really want is ambrein, an odourless fixative which we can only get by dissolving the ambergris." He went back to the gas burner and crouched down to observe the ambergris slowly dissolving in the beaker.

Paige strode up next to him to do the same. "So, you've put it in some kind of acid?" She had never cared about science and probably never would but since Andy was now her unofficial boyfriend she felt she had to at least pretend to be interested.

"Nope." Andy shook his head. "Acid has no effect on ambergris. The only way to dissolve it is to boil it in alcohol."

Soon enough, the piece of ambergris had completely dissolved in the alcohol and Andy proceeded with lifting the beaker off the gas burner with a beaker-tong. "Now, for this to turn into ambrein it has to be cooled down. Luckily, I've engineered a special mini-fridge to speed up the process." The bespectacled boy explained before opening the aforementioned fridge and carefully placed the beaker inside but he also took something out before closing it. "So, while we wait for that to cool, how about we celebrate," he twirled around, holding a bottle in his left hand and a couple of wine glasses in his right, "with some Cyprus Brandy."

"Oh, my favourite." Paige cooed.

Andy smirked. "I know."

As there were no chairs, Paige and Andy sat down next to each other atop the long table. Andy poured brandy for the both of them and they drank. "Boy, the sunset sure is pretty, isn't it Paige?"

"Yeah" Paige agreed. She was quiet for a moment before asking, "You think it's just the sun that's making it red or the whale blood?"

"Oh, just the sun, naturally." Andy replied before inconspicuously before taking a sip. "So…" he blushed and bashfully looked down at his glass of brandy, "about that kiss…"

"Oh, that. That was a heat of the moment kind of thing. No reason to look further into it." The rich blonde replied with a nonchalant hand wave before sipping on her drink.

"Oh." Andy vented disappointed.

There was a moment of silence before Paige spoke again. "You know, you were supposed to be a bit pushier there."

Andy blinked. "Huh?"

"You know, keep asking me questions like "Was I a good kisser?" or if you want to be a cringy about it, "It sure was a hot moment or…" She carefully placed one hand atop his, "would you mind if it happened again?"

Andy suddenly smiled as bright as the sun. "Really?"

Paige was blushing now too. "Maybe. If you catch me off guard again, I mean."

"Are you off guard right now?" Andy cooed.

"Only one way to find out." Paige teased.

The two teenagers leaned closer to one another. Just as their lips were about to meet for a second time, a raging roar cut thru the air just as a massive shadow leaped out of the water and landed on the beach with a loud thud. It was Sloppy Joe, his aquanaut suit dented, broken and covered in whale blood. His face contorted into a furious scowl.

"My God! This guy's like a bad grass stain. Green and impossible to get rid of." Paige lamented.

"Shut up!" Sloppy Joe hollered, saliva and whale blood flailing. "You,!" He pointed at Andy, "you've been a bigger pain in my neck than any Grossologist, cleaner or disinfectant I've ever come across! I'm thru playing games with you, you spoilsport! Luckily I have something to end this." The green skinned man grinned as he reached behind his back and pulled out what seemed like a green squirt gun. "Should have used this earlier. This squirt gun is filled with ink from a California Sea Hare."

"Sea hare?" Paige blinked before turning to her companion. "That's the same thing you used to distract those fish monsters." Once she realized it, fear struck her and she started biting her nails. "Oh no, he's going to spray that on us so his fishies can track us down and eat us."

Sloppy Joe laughed maniacally. "Oh it's far worse than that. The California sea hare is different from its relatives. One whiff of this ink and your olfactory senses will be permanently damaged."

"What does that mean?" The rich blonde asked.

"It means if we inhale that ink, our sense of smell will go numb forever." Andy clarified. "Not sure that's actually worse that what you mentioned Paige but-

"Oh no!" Paige squealed. "What was the point of this entire journey if I can't even smell my brand new perfume?"

"Ironic, isn't it." Sloppy Joe chided and took aim at the teenagers.

Paige quickly took cover behind her semi-boyfriend, hoping he would shield her like last time as said semi-boyfriend sweated cold bullets. Sloppy Joe slowly squeezed the trigger, any trace of his typical playfulness gone.

"Wait." Andy suddenly squawked before cupping his left ear. "Do-do you guys hear that too?"

Paige and Sloppy Joe both peaked up and listened. Now, they too heard a strange buzzing sound that was getting louder and louder. They all looked up and saw a silhouette high up in the sky getting bigger as it descended upon them. "Is that…a helicopter?" Paige asked with a raised eyebrow.

The millionaire daughter was proven wrong when the object in the sky landed in-between the teens and the supervillain. It was a wasp the size of a car and sitting atop its thorax was a very familiar and very pissed-off woman. "Joe, you algae covered scum-ball!"

"Insectiva." Sloppy Joe gasped in fear and dropped his gun as his furious girlfriend got off her mutated steed and advanced towards him.

"Yeah Insectiva. You know, your faithful girlfriend of exactly three years now." The mad entomologist was now so close she glared her boyfriend right in the eyes.

Said eyes darted from side to side in confusion as the grimy criminal put the pieces together till he finally understood what he'd done wrong. He nervously smiled right before Insectiva clocked him in the head, sending him to the ground.

"That was for forgetting our anniversary." She grabbed a fistful of his long hair and raised him up before punching him again. "And that was for forgetting Valentine's Day! And this is because I don't know how to handle my anger!" Insectiva leaped at her already fearful boyfriend and started to savagely beat him up while Paige and Andy just stared at them, utterly bewildered.

"You're lucky I love you or I would do far worse but you still have to spend the rest of the month making it up to me." The silver haired woman addressed her man as she stood up and faced the two shocked teenagers. "Who are you two?"

"Oh, just a couple. A couple on their Valentine's date." Andy nervously explained.

"You make for a cute couple." Insectiva nonchalantly commented. She then eyed the brandy bottle on the table. "Aren't you two a bit young for alcohol?"

Offended by the woman's question, Paige sneered and crossed her arms. "We're teenagers. We drink, we have abortions and we graduate high school. What are you gonna do about it?"

Insectiva simple rolled her eyes, not wanting to be reminded of her own wasted youth. She once again saddled her giant wasp which immediately started vibrating its wings. It lifted off the ground and used its spinney legs to pick up the beat-up Sloppy Joe before taking off.

"Well, that was anti-climactic." Andy commented as he and Paige saw the villainous couple fly off into the sunset.

Later in Ringworm City…

The Black Shrike Larder concert had come to an end just as the sun had gone down and now, Abby and Chester were walking side by side on their way home. Chester was on unusual high spirit. This was after all the first concert since his father's passing that he didn't have to go to all by himself. "You have to admit, that concert was at least a little fun, right?"

Abby enthusiastically nodded. "Definitely." She stuck her hands inside her pocket and looked up at the darkening sky. "This might have been the best Valentine I've had since I hooked up with Greg."

Chester blinked. "You two didn't celebrate Valentine again?"

Abby shot her friend a strange glare.

"So-sorry. I-I guess that was kind of personal." Chester apologized while bashfully rubbing the back of his head.

"Yeah a bit. Luckily I consider you close enough to be privy to such information." Abby chided playfully. "Just know not to ask any other girl about her ex in the future. It may be a sore spot."

"I won't."

"Truth is that on the Valentine following our anniversary, I found a card from him in my locker, asking me to meet up with him in the cafeteria. Of course, when I went there the only thing I was met with was Paige and her phone. She took a picture of me and posted it on slimebook with the caption 'Single & Desperate'." Abby explained.

"How rotten and unimaginative of her." Chester stated.

"I know, even I expected something more clever than that." Abby humorously commented. "Truth is I wasn't even trying to get back with Greg. I hoped to let him down gently."

"So, you had already broken up with him at that point." The brown eyed boy deduced.

"Yeah, we only dated for, um let see…" Abby tapped her chin as she tried to remember "…four months."

"That still sounds like a long time," Chester awkwardly commented, "not that I would know."

Abby smiled as she reminisced. "You know, even thou me and Greg wasn't meant to be, I'm still happy I went out with him. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind being single but if you ever click with someone…"

Chester pocketed his hands and looked down to the ground, smiling sadly. "It takes a lot of courage to admit your feelings to someone."

Abby looked at him with curiosity in her eyes. "Are you speaking from experience?"

"Yeah, once. It was on Valentine's day actually." Chester admitted.

Abby pouted. 'Is this what he got so upset about in the mall yesterday?' "You know Chester, since I can talk to you about anything then you can do the same so if you want to talk about it…"

Chester figured that since Abby opened up about Greg, he should be open too. "It's a tad pathetic but okay." The duo was crossing a bridge when Chester stopped and leaned against the railing as he started to retell his worst Valentine's Day. "So back in Greenbottle, I had a crush on this girl, Myra. I hardly even knew her but she was cute and pretty nice to me on the handful of interactions we had together." Chester explained, for some reason he had a difficult time making eye contact with Abby as he did so. "Valentine's Day was coming up and against my better judgement I decided to ask her out but since Myra was way above my league, I felt I needed to really wow her."

"Let me guess, you made an ass of yourself." Abby said half-jokingly.

"Oh, it was way worse than that…"

Greenbottle Junior High, 5 years ago…

Chester stood in the middle of the hallway with his dad's old guitar strapped across his chest, his eyes locked on the girl of his dreams who stood a stone throw away, talking to her friends. He took a deep breath before stoically marching up to her.

"Myra." For once, Chester spoke up loudly, gaining the attention of the aforementioned girl as well as several others. "I c-composed this for you." The blonde boy started playing his guitar. First only a few chords, then he came into a solid rhythm. Soon, he started singing.

"My Myra, In my life you are the sunshine
And I see you always up on cloud nine."

As Chester continued to sing, more and more students gathered.

"My Myra, I think our fates should intertwine.
So tell me, My Myra
Do you want to be my Valentine?
…I ask again, do you wanna be my Valentine?"

Chester finished with what he thought was an epic guitar riff and struck a pose with his arms wide open. At first he simple stared in anticipation at what his dream girl would say but then everyone started laughing their asses off.

"That was the most cringe song ever!" One student exclaimed between fits of laughter.

"Can you believe it? The nerd thinks he got a shot with Myra." Another one said.

"Maybe she likes him too! Myra likes Chester Fester!"

"I bet he's been stalking her. He does those sort of things." One girl judgementally stated.

"Maybe she wants to kiss the freak. Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

Chester's hands curled into fists as his teeth grit in anger. "Shut up! Shut up, you idiots!" His temper simmered thou when he noticed the state his crush was in. Myra seemed to have shrunken in on herself, eyes gazing the floor, body shivering. Chester's large, sympathetic eyes blinked. "M-Myra?"

"You creep!" Myra yelled at him, silencing some and startling Chester. "Don't you have any common sense at all?! Isn't it enough that you embarrass yourself? Do you have to make a fool out of me too? I would never date you and the rest of you can all just go to hell!" After yelling them out, Myra turned around and ran away. Some people looked on sympathetically as she ran while others turned their judgmental eyes to Chester. Chester thou was too stunned by Myra's outburst and his rejection to notice anything. He felt like his entire world was collapsing around him.

His guitar dropped to the floor.

"That's brutal, Chester." Abby compassionately exclaimed once his story was over.

The blonde boy shrugged. "I know it's not that bad. I mean, not much beats getting your brain hijacked by an evil parasite" he let out a sigh "but every once in a while, especially around this time of the year I think about it and I just wonder… what is wrong with me?"

Abby nodded slightly. She lowered her head as she contemplated what to tell her heartbroken friend. "You know Chester," she started carefully, "you tried to impress this girl with your music and you tried to impress everyone with your anti-rot serum. Maybe, you would have an easier time making friends if you stopped showing off and instead just talked to people." Abby closed in on her friend and took his hands in hers, squeezing them gently. "I know you don't have a very high opinion of yourself and that you think your big brain is all you got but I bet that if you stopped trying to impress people and instead showed them what a sweet, fun, heroic guy I know you are they would wanna be friends with you too."

For a moment, Chester was frozen in place. The barrage of compliments Abby had just thrown at him was overwhelming but he didn't fail to pick up on the wisdom in her words. His hands slipped out of hers and his gaze averted to the ground, rubbing the back of his head. "I think I've always known that but…I've never been any good at talking. I know you can't understand but whenever I try to talk with people things just get awkward."

Abby blinked. "That's actually not true, Chester. I also feel awkward talking to people. Why else do you think my best friend is my baby brother?"

Chester stared. "Wha-what about the girls on your soccer team and the volleyball team?"

"Oh yeah, they're great. Well, not all of them but most of them are good but outside of matches and training we don't hang out. It's easy to get along when everyone has assigned roles and everyone knows what they should do but whenever we're not playing it's like we don't have anything in common. I've tried talking to them and they just look at me like I've been speaking another languish." Abby sighed. "I feel like such a weirdo in those moments."

"You're not a weirdo Abby and you don't come off as awkward when we're hanging out."

Abby shot him a lopsided smile "Well, that's because it's you. You're easy to get along with."

Chester couldn't stop the ear-to-ear smile that spread across his face. He felt truly honoured to be held in such a high esteem by the person he cared about the most. "Thanks." He looked to the sky. "Come on, let's get you home before it gets any darker." He said and the two resumed walking.

"You know, it's a bummer that this Myra-girl rejected you but if you ever catch feelings for someone else, you should take the chance to tell them." Abby stated as the two walked underneath a large birch tree.

Chester's eyes dilated. Was Abby trying to get him to confess? Was she asking him out in subtle sort of way? 'Nah, I can't be that optimistic.' "I don't think so. I got too much on my plate to have any-well anything like that. Besides," he reached out and caught a leaf as it fell from one of the branches above, "with Kid Rot's powers flowing thru me I can't risk getting too close to someone." He said as the leaf rotted away between his fingers.

Abby frowned sadly at that statement. "I can understand why intimacy would be difficult for you and not just because of those powers of yours." Then her mood switched to uplifting. "But you know what Chester, I like the distance you and I have crossed so far."

Chester nodded. "I agree. You and me are not so close that we invade each other's space…"

"…but we're never so far apart that we can't reach one another." Abby finished.

Yet again, silence laid thick between the two blushing friends but this time it wasn't uncomfortable. It was warming.

Meanwhile, in Splatticus State Prison…

It was a rare night in deed when Doctor Cornelius Colon was content with anything but tonight he was indeed very content. One might even say he was happy. He was currently lying in his bed inside his cell, arms folded behind his head as he gazed at the ceiling. His plump lips curved into a smile as he read the text spelled out in cobweb.

'LOVE YOU, NERD.'

New Author's Notes:

And now I'm almost finished with my rewrite of this fanfic, with only one new scene added to the epilogue to go.

I hope that by now you can all see why I decided to rewrite this story and why these edits are an improvement. First; the incoherent, fluff scenes with Naomi and Ty are replaced with a much more relevant side story that gives LabRat's character arc a much needed push and brings Roger Pink-Eye back into the series. It sets up Ty's future confrontation with Roger and introduces his new partner-in-crime Sally Slime-Girl. Ty and Naomi thou are not shafted and are given important supporting roles in the narrative.

This chapter is also LabRat's first meeting with Jasmine and if you wonder, No, they're not a couple yet and won't be anytime soon. They're just having a tiny crush right now. I did consider creating a new character for this moment but then I thought; why create a new character when I can take a minor character from the show and mould her after my desires. Of course I don't recommend doing this with all characters but Jasmine had such little screen time and such vague characterization in the original series that I feel one can do almost anything with her (especially with a three year time skip like in this story). I haven't decided yet how big of a role she will have going forward or if she will even stay LabRat's love interest. While I have planned out most of the plot for season 3, I am also improvising a few things.

Another major change avid readers might have noticed is the complete rewrite of Chester's flashback. The flashback in the original script was copied over from my other fanfic Rot in Paradise. While I think that flashback worked in making you feel sorry for Chester it didn't really say anything about his character and Abby didn't get to do anything but give him a pep talk. This new flashback scene thou addresses one of Chester's character flaws and allows Abby to give him some sound advice.

The one gripe I have about these edits is that they unfortunately leaves the hagfish issue unresolved. I always thought the ending of Go Fish was kind of weak. Ty and Abby scare the hagfishes back into the ocean, apparently forgetting the fact that they are fish and can come back at any time. One thing I set out to do with the original script for Romancing the Ambergris was to tie-up that lose end with LabRat swooping in at the end and catching them with the GRS-2 but because of the new B-plot LabRat wasn't in a position to get the message from Andy and so couldn't arrive at the end to save the day. So I guess the two hagfishes are still at large in the ocean. Aw well, it's a small sacrifice for the plot.

Please leave a review, tell me what you think of these changes, if you prefer this version over the original, what you think of the Jasmine/LabRat pairing, anything you can think of.

Old Author's Notes:

Never thought Andy & Paige would hook up before Abby & Chester but I guess we're doing this. I know it's a bit rushed but their arc isn't over yet and the epilogue will definitely set up how their relationship will be going forward. Trust me, Bitchy Paige isn't gone yet.

So this is the part of the note were I make some lame excuse as to why this chapter took so long to make (you know the routine by now). This time I have two. First of all I've been sick again but the second and most prominent reason is that I just haven't been in the mood to. I've sort of been in this dispassionate depression where I just don't feel like doing anything. Never the less I managed to finish this chapter so that's something.

I know the final battle with Sloppy Joe was kind of anti-climactic but it's Sloppy Joe, even by Grossology standards he's kind of a joke villain.

Originally, this chapter was supposed to be a lot longer. The Abby/Chester sequence was supposed to go on for a bit longer with the duo crossing path with Greg as he was being chased by his fangirls but I thought it was much better at ending it with that heart-warming exchange between the two. The sequence with Ty/Naomi in the park was also supposed to be longer as the couple was supposed to run into a couple of Ty's ex-girlfriends from out of town. My head cannon is that the Archer family moved to the city shortly before the events of New Recruits (hence, why they didn't know Paige or Naomi at that point) so the two ex-girlfriends were supposed to be from the town they moved from. In the end I cut that scene out simple cause I wanted to get this finished as soon as possible.

Well, that was the last full—length chapter of this story. Now there's only the epilogue left and then we can move on to something more serious and juicer. As always, I'd appreciate it if you could leave a review with your honest thoughts for this chapter. It does not need to be long and it does not need to positive. Any feedback is welcomed.

Until next time, my Grossologists!