A/N: Thank you GuestM Live, emrysmorgan, Buckhunter, SnidgetHex, and PadrePedro for reviewing!
Part II
Lancelot knew this was home, but he still felt unsafe for reasons he couldn't pin down. Perhaps it was because he knew Agravaine was working with Morgana, and Lancelot still felt that visceral terror whenever he thought of her. The Great Dragon said he couldn't be turned into that thing again, though, but until his memory settled, he continued to worry there was something else important that he was forgetting.
There was a knock on his door, and he opened it with guarded trepidation. Gwen was standing there, and Lancelot was flooded with a torrential range of emotions at the sight of her, from captivated to love…to sadness.
"Hi," she said with an uncertain smile. "How are you?"
"Oh, uh, fine." He stepped back to let her come in, feeling awkward all of a sudden.
She had her hands clasped in front of her, looking equally unbalanced.
"I'm so glad you're back," she went on. "I…I wanted to thank you, for what you did to protect Arthur. I- I never meant for you to take his place. But it was noble and heroic, and…" she trailed off with a grimace.
Lancelot frowned. He remembered sacrificing his life to protect Merlin. But then he had a flash of Gwen asking him to look after Arthur and him promising to do so. No one else had known Merlin planned to take Arthur's place first.
"Lancelot?" Gwen said worriedly.
He realized he'd been quiet too long. "Sorry," he quickly apologized. "Things are still…" He gestured at his head. "Coming to me. I do remember that, and I was only doing what any knight's duty to his prince would be."
Gwen's expression pinched. "I can't imagine what you've been through. Why would Morgana have brought you back?"
A chill ran up Lancelot's spine as he remembered it had something to do with Gwen. "I don't know," he said; he didn't want to scare her on the basis of his own ghosting memories.
"Lancelot?" a voice interrupted as Arthur stepped through the door he'd left open. He faltered slightly at the sight of Gwen there, and Lancelot was struck with the memory of his heart breaking when he'd rekindled his love for Gwen, only to find she and Arthur had fallen in love in his absence. And…they were betrothed now.
Lancelot stepped away from Gwen and bowed to Arthur. "How may I be of service, my lord?"
Arthur frowned. "You don't need to be formal with me, Lancelot. We're friends."
"Oh, right. Forgive me."
Arthur continued to study him carefully. "How is your memory?"
"Things are still in pieces," he confessed. "I can remember them in the moment, but they don't always…stick. Or I can't fit them into time properly."
Arthur's brows furrowed with concern, but he nodded. "Take as much time as you need before you resume your duties as a knight."
Lancelot bowed again in gratitude, then remembered it made Arthur uncomfortable, so he tried for a grateful half smile instead.
Arthur gave a hesitant smile back, then turned to Gwen. "The tournament will resume soon."
She nodded, cast Lancelot a parting smile, then went to take Arthur's proffered hand.
"Will you come watch?" Arthur asked Lancelot.
He nodded. "Yes, thank you. I will see you down there."
Instead of accompanying them down to the fields, Lancelot decided to roam around the castle for a bit, hoping to spark more memories into falling into place. It was easy to trigger the snippets and flashes that came to him, yet they remained out of order and a confused jumble.
He was so caught up in the swirling memories that he almost ran into Agravaine, who'd stepped out into his path. Lancelot pulled up short, instinctively stiffening.
"Sir Lancelot," the man said with a weaselly smile. "The castle is celebrating Arthur's betrothal, and yet you are the talk of the halls, what with your manner of return being so…unexpected."
Lancelot held himself rigidly. "Returning from the dead for anyone would be unexpected," he managed to reply with a level voice.
Agravaine hummed. "And you believe Morgana was behind your miraculous resurrection?"
There was a pointedness to his tone that sounded like he was fishing for something in particular.
"I remember seeing her," Lancelot answered carefully. "Though I doubt she did it out of the kindness of her heart."
Agravaine continued to look thoughtful. "This could be a very serious matter, then. We should discuss it further, see what we can help you remember." He held his arm out for Lancelot to accompany him, which sent a prickle of unease down his spine.
"I was on my way to the tournament," he deflected.
"Surely this matter is more important," Agravaine countered. "Morgana is a major threat to this kingdom. It is your duty as a knight to put the king's safety first."
Lancelot tried not to fidget in obvious nervousness. Going somewhere alone with the traitor was a very bad idea, and yet he didn't have a good reason to disobey a command from the king's uncle. Could Lancelot play along, try to catch Agravaine in the act of something sinister? Assuming he could prevent himself from getting caught in the snare…
But then Gwaine, Elyan, and Percival rounded the corner.
"Oy, Lancelot!" Gwaine called boisterously. "We're heading down to the tournament. Come on!"
He smiled in sheer relief at his friends as they walked by and snagged him away from Agravaine. Lancelot didn't protest, and Agravaine didn't make a fuss of wanting to speak to Lancelot privately. Having witnesses probably wouldn't be a good thing. Lancelot needed to avoid the man at all costs.
"How are you doing?" Elyan asked as they walked.
"All right, considering."
"Still have some amnesia?"
He nodded.
"Do you remember being dead?" Gwaine asked curiously. "What was it like? What was coming back like?"
"Why did Morgana do it?" Elyan added. "You said last night you weren't yourself. What does that mean?"
Lancelot's heart rate ratcheted up as the bombardment of questions triggered a flash flood of memories.
"Stop it," Percival interjected, shooting Gwaine and Elyan serious looks.
"I'm sorry," Lancelot apologized again.
Elyan shook his head. "You don't need to apologize. You saved Camelot, saved all of us. We just want to help you."
"I know, and I appreciate that. But all these questions…it just makes everything even more mixed up."
"Okay, we'll lay off," Elyan promised.
Gwaine nodded in agreement but added, "I am still curious, though."
Percival smacked the back of his head.
"Hey!"
Lancelot's lips quirked; oh how he missed this. After losing his family, his village, he'd been alone for so long. Camelot was the first place he felt he belonged (never mind that was initially from identity fraud). The second time he came here, he was welcomed for who he was, and he found camaraderie and brotherhood.
It made his heart ache with the wish that he could confide in them about Agravaine. But if Merlin hadn't already, he must have had a reason. And Merlin was right; they could very likely brush off Lancelot's concern as him being confused since his mind was still so all turned around.
So he kept his fears to himself as they walked down to the tournament. His friends were participating, so they went to their tents, and Lancelot tracked down Merlin and then stuck close to him, since he was the only person Lancelot felt truly secure around right now.
He tried to fall back into the rhythm of an old life he only vaguely remembered half the time. Not that things around Camelot were mundane and boring at the moment anyway—the tournament celebrating Arthur and Gwen's engagement was going for the whole week.
Lancelot remembered participating in past ones, but he didn't dare do so now, not when he was still so unsteady. But between rounds, he did take up a sword to practice with his friends, see if muscle memory could help trigger others. To his elation, his body did remember the flow of thrusts and parries, as long as he didn't think too hard about it.
There was a feast every night. For Gwen, of course, though Arthur raised a toast to Lancelot's return at one of them. Despite being able to place names and faces easily, Lancelot still felt self-conscious and awkward in his interactions, always wondering if he'd forgotten something important.
He also felt watched, and he frequently sought out Agravaine to keep the man in his sights. Arthur's uncle was a skilled deceiver, and continued to go about his business with only the slightest hint of nervousness. It didn't help that of course everyone else would be curious about the knight who was dead and now alive again, so that sensation of being constantly studied never went away, even when Agravaine wasn't nearby. It made Lancelot's nerves on edge and he couldn't ever relax, not even behind the closed doors of his chambers.
He started taking refuge in Gaius's chambers where either the court physician or Merlin were usually around.
"So I did some research on the shade," Merlin brought up.
Lancelot tensed. "What'd you find?" he asked in trepidation.
"Kilgharrah was right; it was a one time spell, a once in a lifetime spell, from what it sounded like. It's not supposed to be possible to break it, but probably no one ever tried a dragon's magic. Aithusa running into you in the woods changed everything."
Lancelot nodded sagely. "I hate to think what might have happened if the shade had infiltrated Camelot, masquerading as me. He would have been welcomed with open arms and no one would have suspected…"
"Do you remember what his task was?" Merlin asked.
"To destroy Arthur and Gwen's relationship. Morgana cannot stomach a servant on the throne."
Merlin nodded. "I figured. But hey, don't dwell on it. The shade is gone and won't ever be coming back."
"Are we sure?" Lancelot asked. "What if- what if it's still…somewhere among the gaps?"
Merlin pursed his mouth. "Well, there's a test we can do. It's supposed to unmask a shade, if that would give you some peace of mind."
Lancelot's heart fluttered. Would it give him peace of mind to confirm the shade was gone? Or what if this test confirmed it wasn't?
But no, he had to know.
So Merlin drew a detailed rune on the floor in chalk from his book, and then directed Lancelot to step through it.
He held his breath and walked forward, bracing for something though not knowing what to expect. He didn't feel anything, though.
Merlin grinned. "Told you, no shade."
Lancelot exhaled in relief, though he wasn't wholly comforted. "What if…because of this whole thing…I'm now…wrong somehow."
Merlin's expression turned sympathetic. "You're not wrong, Lancelot. You just need time to recover. Think of it like a wound, but to the soul instead of the body. It will take time to heal, but that doesn't mean it won't."
Lancelot supposed that made sense. And he really hoped it would be that simple.
Agravaine stood in the shadowed alcove, flexing his fist around the small hemp pouch in his hand. How could things have fallen apart so thoroughly? Lancelot was supposed to be a slave to Morgana's magic! He was supposed to be driving a wedge between Arthur and that servant girl at this moment! But he hadn't arrived in Camelot as he was supposed to, not until the next day, only to not be under Morgana's control at all.
It had been a harrowing twenty-four hours for Agravaine as he waited for Lancelot to reveal Morgana's plans, but by some miracle, he couldn't remember much. Which bought them some time.
Morgana was, of course, livid when he'd snuck away to tell her what had transpired. She demanded he find out how her unbreakable enchantment had been broken. Agravaine had argued that Lancelot didn't remember—yet. And was it worth the risk of waiting for him to? If he remembered Agravaine was in league with Morgana, he would tell Arthur. Brushing off one servant's and one old man's accusations was one thing, but add a noble knight of Camelot to that? It could finally plant the seeds of doubt in Arthur that would jeopardize Agravaine's position.
No, Lancelot was now a loose end that needed nipping in the bud, immediately. Which Morgana finally agreed with, and so she'd given Agravaine a poultice to plant on the knight.
He waited in the shadows, fretting that perhaps he was too late, that Lancelot was with Arthur at this moment, recounting what he remembered.
But no, he was finally coming down the hall. Agravaine drew his shoulders back and swept out to intercept him.
Lancelot pulled up short and immediately stiffened. Agravaine wondered just how close he was to remembering, given his nervous behavior whenever Agravaine was around.
"I just wanted to check in, see how you're faring," he said.
"Still…processing things," Lancelot replied.
Agravaine nodded, not intending to stay long. "That's good. Let me know if you do remember anything significant."
With that, he brushed past the knight and slipped the hex bag into his pocket. That was one obstacle taken care of. And perhaps he should suggest to Morgana they simply deal with Guinevere the same way.