A/N — Once in Forever grew out of a one-shot idea and I thought that it might be fun to post. Just be warned, however, that not all love stories have a happy ending. At least, not in the span of 2,000 words. xoxo — tmtcltb
x
"And there she is! The woman of the hour — one of the Vaccine Six herself!"
Commander Kara Foster took a sip of her water, allowing Bryson Wells to draw her towards the small knot of people standing in the middle of the crowded ballroom. Not that she was particularly interested in talking to the Alabama Senator, but that was her role tonight. To see and be seen. So, Kara circulated through the room, shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries, but never lingering long enough for the conversation to extend past pleasantries.
xxxxx
She woke with a start, every inch of her body throbbing, the agony unbearable. Then Danny's face swam into focus through layers of protective gear and, despite the sweat pouring off her, Kara felt a chill. There was only one reason why Danny would be here.
Noticing that her eyes were open, Danny leaned forward, gently cradling his hand between his. "Please don't leave me, Kara. Please."
A vague sense of deja vu suggested that this was not their first time having this conversation, but Kara brushed away the thought, instead reaching a trembling hand up to the plastic that covered Danny's face, wishing that she could touch him one last time. "It's okay. You'll be okay."
His head bowed, eyes closing. "I can't do this alone."
"Yes, you can. You will. You don't need me." She was fading again, her eyes closing involuntarily as her body began to shake.
His hands tightened on hers. "I love you, Kara."
She never knew if the next words made it past her lips. "I love you, too."
xxxxx
Kara was dancing, pretending to ignore the Secretary of State's wandering hands, when she saw him. Slightly older, the mischievous smile she fell in love with gone, but the same hazel-eyed, sandy-haired Navy SEAL she met five-and-a-half years ago on the day he boarded the Nathan James for her cruise to the Arctic.
And if Danny's arrival — or the presence of a familiar blond on his arm — was the reason that Kara abruptly excused herself, ducking into the restroom, so be it. She needed a moment to gather herself. So she could stop thinking. Stop remembering. Stop wishing...for things that could never be.
xxxxx
The cramping — incessant, unending cramps that had her curling up into a ball — started three days after administration of the cure. But from the moment that Danny told her that she was pregnant, his eyes shining with some combination of relief and happiness, Kara had known that she would never hold her baby. Never even know if it was a boy or a girl. That even if, for a nanosecond, she had held life within her, that life was long gone. Burned up and attacked and destroyed, a final victim of the Red Flu.
As the others began to recover, they took turns sitting with her when Danny was elsewhere. Holding her hand. Talking to her. Telling her stories. Kara learned that Rick had never met his father, the man taking off before he was even born. She discovered that Tex had a child, a daughter who he hadn't seen for years, although he rattled off her pre-pandemic GPA with pride. Andrea revealed her own losses, four in all prior to Lily, her practical knowledge of what was happening to Kara's body unexpectedly reassuring. Even Russ shared a few memories of his daughters. In a way, Kara's loss bound them together more solidly than the trial itself.
But slowly each was released, until only Kara remained, waiting for Doctor Scott to run the final tests, to confirm what she already knew.
"I'm so very sorry." The woman's eyes glittered with unshed tears. "I'll give you a few minutes alone."
Next to her, Kara could see Danny rubbing at his face, eyes red and puffy. Yet all Kara could do was stare at the bulkhead, wondering what it meant that she was the only one who hadn't cried.
xxxxx
Kara stared at her reflection in the mirror, praying it was the terrible lighting that made her look deathly pale, her eyes red-rimmed, hair pulled back too starkly in her usual bun. Kara splashed water on her cheeks, knowing that she had only minutes before someone would come looking for her, understanding her role for the evening was to shake as many hands as possible.
No matter how painful that requirement might be.
She was on her second lap of the room when Carlton intercepted her, drawing her out to the dance floor. The concern on his face almost too much to bear, and Kara leaned her head against his shoulder, eyes drifting closed. Allowing herself to drop the facade for a brief moment. Trusting the man who had never steered her wrong.
xxxxx
"You don't have anything to prove, Kara."
Kara continued folding — or to be honest, re-folding — her clothes, wishing Carlton would go annoy someone else. "Yes. I do."
"Nobody cares about that shit with Green," he continued doggedly.
She ignored that, recognizing bullshit when she heard it. "You put your name in, didn't you?"
Carlton shuffled. "It's different."
"Why?"
He paused. "Because there are 218 people on this ship and 199 of them are men. Doctor Scott wants three men and three women. You do the math."
Kara finally glanced up, seeing the strained look on Carlton's face, realizing that this was his awkward, exasperating, but endearing way of showing how much he cared. "I know. But...I have to do this, Carlton. You know that."
She could see the conflict on his face, and then he nodded, reaching forward to hook her into a sideways hug. "Just promise me that you'll be okay. Okay?"
Silently, Kara blinked back tears. Knowing that was a promise she could not make. Because she had done the math. Nineteen women. Four of whom were in essential positions, not eligible to volunteer. Six who had pre-existing conditions that excluded them from Doctor Scott's very exacting parameters. And, of the remainder, only one was a white woman under thirty.
Kara wasn't putting her name into the draft. She was volunteering to go.
xxxxx
Carlton drew her closer, shielding her from prying eyes, his voice quiet. "You doing okay, baby girl?"
Kara sighed. "My feet are on fire and the Speaker of the House felt me up in front of his wife."
"You should know...," Carlton began, only to be cut off when the music stopped. Kara and Carlton, along with everyone else in the ballroom, turned to watch Captain Chandler move to the center of the stage and take the microphone.
"I have the privilege of making a special announcement tonight," he began, before gesturing for someone to join him.
Danny.
Their eyes met, his piercing her as though searching for the answer to an unspoken question. But tonight she was too tired, too emotionally worn, to figure out what he was asking.
"Please join me in giving a warm welcome to the newest member to the Nathan James family, Laura Arranaga. Laura has graciously agreed to become Mrs. Daniel Green."
xxxxx
She squeezed onto the bunk, no easy task given that Danny filled ninety percent of the space. Pushing at his shirt, allowing her mouth to ghost across his stomach, fingers drafting to his hips. Feeling the leap of his flesh under her fingers.
"When is Tex back?" She reached for his waistband, batting away the hands that attempted to stop her.
"Doctor Scott said..." Danny's breathing was already ragged, but he shifted so that she was pinned against him, unable to move.
"That's not what we are doing..." She couldn't change what happened. She couldn't bring back Frankie or Smith or Berchem or the baby. But she could give him this. She could help him forget, just for a minute.
"Kara." His hand caught her chin, drawing her up, not letting her look away. "I love you, Kara. Nothing is going to change that. Did you hear me? Nothing."
Tears pouring down her face she wrapped her arms around him, their mouths crashing in an uncoordinated clash of teeth and tongues that should have been painful but only made her crave more. Danny shifted, twisting until they were lying side by side on the thin bunk, his leg thrown over her, pinning her between him and the wall. As their frenzy calmed, Danny reached out, wiping away her tears with rough thumbs.
"I love you too."
xxxxx
The room spun, and only Carlton's arm kept her upright. He leaned closer, but the words felt very far away, muffled by the pounding of her own heart. "He's an idiot."
Somehow Kara managed to find the words. "Laura's a wonderful person."
And she was. Even if Kara did want to dislike the woman — and, really, why would she? — Laura was just too damn nice. A third-grade teacher who lost her husband during the first stages of the Red Flu, she was the perfect Navy girlfriend. A partner to keep the home fires burning while Danny traveled. A companion to join him at official events. Someone to drop off homemade cookies for the team.
Someone who could do all of the things that Kara couldn't do.
xxxxx
Danny buried his face in her hair, shoulders shaking. She squeezed him as tight as she could, her own eyes empty.
"I could picture her."
The words were a surprise and Kara pulled back. "Wha..."
"The baby. I could see her. I even had a nickname picked out. Jellybean."
As a nickname, it lacked originality, but something about the fetus having a name broke through Kara's detachment. Her voice cracked. "Danny, I can't...I can't even think about that..."
"Shhhh." He pulled her back to him. "I know. I know..."
Breathing shallowly, almost gagging, Kara fought the urge to vomit as the truth hit her like a punch.
She hadn't just killed her baby.
She had killed his.
xxxxx
Kara stared at Danny as he looped his arm around Laura's waist, accepting the congratulations from those around him. Wondering if the hint of sadness that she thought she saw on his face was real, or just her imagination. Wondering what it would have been like if she were the one standing on that stage with Danny. Surrounded by friends. A four-year-old tucked between them, allowed to stay up late to celebrate this special occasion.
How long would it be until Danny had everything that she took from him five years before?
Because maybe then she would stop seeing the ghost of a towheaded preschooler with an impish smile every time Danny walked into the room.
"That's not why I said he was an idiot," Carlton replied, voice grim.
xxxxx
"Are you sure?"
Kara's blood was pumping frantically through her veins, every cell shrieking at her to leave the tent. To tell Doctor Scott that she had changed her mind. To do anything and everything to escape. To live. But, instead, Kara held out her arm.
"I'm ready."
xxxxx
"He's not the idiot," Kara replied softly. At Captain Chandler's request, she lifted her glass, praying that Danny couldn't see the tears shimmering in her eyes. "Cheers."