This chapter contains a - strange - sexually explicit passage.
Please read at your own discretion.
Chapter 14: I don't give a fuck.
End of November 1995 - Gat Apartment - Saints Row
Jang-Mi was used to the eccentricities of her unbearable offspring, so when he told her in the most natural way that there would now be an extra mouth to feed, she wasn't even surprised.
At first she found it rather strange that two young boys sleep in the same bed so regularly, but she knew her son was very much in love with the little Aisha from the 4th floor and decided not to take offense.
Especially since she was quite happy to have Jack in her life. Even if she didn't like his smoking, which she was used to, having been used to her own son's, she found this young boy polite, distinguished, a bit precious and above all well brought up. He was discreet, and only heard his going out and coming back from the apartment to go to his school. Apart from that, he spent his time with Johnny outside or working diligently on his schoolwork, something unheard of for Jang-Mi who had never been able to get his son to work.
One evening, while Johnny was out with Aisha, Jack, attracted by the delicious smell emanating from the kitchen, allowed himself a break from his homework to take a closer sniff of this mouth-watering olfactory deity.
Not surprisingly, he arrived in the kitchen where Jang-Mi was cutting leeks into thin strips.
- Ah Jack, she said surprised.
- It smells so good, what are you doing?
- Korean barbecue for tonight, do you like it?
- I have no idea, but it smells so good I'm sure it is. Can I help you?
- Oh no, thank you very much, but I'm used to doing everything by myself you know.
- Well, don't you want a hand with it? And then, I would like to learn!
Jang-Mi was very surprised, she who had only been surrounded by men who only conceded to put their feet under the table without ever helping her in anything and she gladly accepted to train Jack. She handed him a long, sharp knife and showed him how to slice leeks. The young man took to the game, his hands guided by the old woman's, and they were both surprised that they enjoyed it. Thus, Jang-Mi had a pleasant and efficient kitchen assistant.
- Good, good, now we'll add some gochugaru for the marinade.
- What is it? Jack asked.
- A Korean chili powder. You'll see, it will spice things up, it will be very good.
Jack watched carefully as Jang-Mi sprinkled the powder on the leeks, then added soy sauce, sugar, vinegar and sesame oil.
- There, now I'll leave it in the fridge for a few hours and serve it tonight at dinner.
- Does it have a special name?
- Yes, the pajeoli! Will this be the first time you've tasted it?
- Yes, I'm not very knowledgeable about Korean culture.
- I also have some kimchi for tonight, do you know it?
- No, I haven't. What is it?
Jang-Mi smiled, delighted to show him and especially guessing in advance the reaction of the young man. She opened a small plastic jar that contained cabbage in a kind of red marinade. Jack didn't need to get closer than he instinctively backed away because of the smell of fermentation, very strong, especially for an unaccustomed nose, which he covered with his two hands.
- Oh my! But it's rotten, isn't it?
- Not at all, Jang-Mi laughed. It's an iconic dish in Korean cuisine. Ji-Hoon and I eat it almost every day.
Intrigued, Jack sniffed the contents of the pot cautiously before getting a gulp that made the old woman laugh.
- Oh no, I can't do that. Oh no, I'm going to throw up, sorry.
He stifled another gag and apologized with tears in his eyes.
- Don't worry, I won't force you to taste it.
- I'm sorry, I didn't mean any disrespect, but I'm American... We don't eat this kind of stuff at all...
- Oh yeah, what do you cook with your mom?
- I mean... Jack stopped. Nothing in fact, she never taught me to cook, and especially not with her.
- Ah, that's too bad, you look resourceful. She's lucky to have a son who helps her.
- I'm not on very good terms with my mother...
- You're not? Jang-Mi was astonished and thought Jack was so perfect.
- No... She doesn't like me, I think.
- You know, adolescence is sometimes a difficult period, but I don't know any mother who doesn't love her child.
- It doesn't really matter...
- I can see that it does, it seems to affect you. You know, sometimes a simple gesture towards each other can reconnect us. Besides, it's Thanksgiving, isn't it a time for reconciliation?
- Maybe... I don't know. I don't feel like I really have a mom... I think it weighs on me sometimes...
- Oh... Well, I'll be your "Eomeonim" then. You will be my "Adeunim".
- Your...?
- If you live here with us, I will raise you as if you were my son. That is, if you agree, of course, but I am ready to take care of you if you need it.
Jack was surprised by the sudden closeness, but he had to admit that Johnny's mother looked a bit like the ideal mother to him. Typically a reassuring, caring, gentle, warm and generous mother who gave him hope that women weren't just vile, castrating creatures like his mother. The idea of being loved in a maternal way by Jang-Mi and in a loving way by Dee-Dee reassured him little by little about his capacities to be a human being who could be loved for what he was.
And for once, in a very long time, it felt good.
Johnny came home much later in the evening, and with a thunderous arrival, he slammed the front door, swinging his shoes around in the air.
- I'M HOME! he shouted in case a deaf person didn't hear.
He walked down the hallway, his arms full of all kinds of packages.
- What do we eat? he asked, not caring about anything else.
Johnny headed straight for his room before stopping dead in front of the living room, where he saw his mother, along with Jack, both sitting on the couch with a sheet mask on their faces relaxing in front of a Korean drama.
- But what! What are you doing here!
Jack lifted the sheet mask from his face and greeted his friend.
- Annyeong," he said.
- You speak Korean now!
- Your mother is teaching me.
- And what do you two do?
- A little beauty ritual to take care of our skin.
- Do you want a mask too? asked Jang-Mi.
- And what else? I'm not a fag! No offense, homie, said Johnny.
- Don't worry," replied Jack, not offended at all.
- Can I have MY buddy back or do you have some more girl stuff for him to do?
Without waiting for an answer, Johnny pulled his friend by the arm, who was obliged to follow him, but not without removing his mask, before locking himself in the room.
- You know, you don't have to do anything my mom asks you to do, right? Because if I listened to her, I'd have to cook, spend time with her and clean my room," Johnny explained.
It seemed to Jack that this was the least he could do, but he didn't think it was worth sharing with his friend.
- Look what I bought! Johnny said as he unpacked a huge box.
- What's this?
- It's a Playstation! I bought it with the money from the car theft!
- Ah, that's pretty cool!
Johnny tore through the box like a savage on his bed, eager to plug in his new game console while Jack looked at him with wide eyes.
- Are you good at video games? Johnny asked as he tried to plug it into his TV.
- I've never had a console and it was forbidden at boarding school.
- Did you ever play?
- Yes, at a friend's house once or twice, but I wasn't very good.
- I bought Tekken! Do you know it?
- Not at all, no. Is it a fighting game?
Johnny had a great time beating up his opponent because he didn't bother to explain how the game worked, especially not the keys, for fear that he was better than him. Jack, on the other hand, knew that he would never be a fan of video games and spent a whole hour rolling his eyes every time Johnny yelled to celebrate his victory, which was every 5 minutes.
- Well, we'll be fine tonight," Jack said, a little exasperated.
- Oh come on man, you're a sore loser.
Jack slumped down on the bed and lit a cigarette.
- Do we have news of Tanya? he asked.
- No. But Jul, Benjamin and Troy are on it. They'll let us know as soon as there's news.
- Do you think we can trust Benjamin?
- Working with the Saints is his only way out right now. Anyway, he doesn't have much choice.
- He's got something going for him, I want to trust him. I think he has a presence, charisma and he always seems very calm and composed, I like that.
- Did my mother make you gay?
- I didn't say I wanted to suck his cock.
- Ah, that would be gross! Johnny grimaced. Don't you? Can you honestly imagine yourself sucking a dick? Oh no, I can't, it's too disgusting," said Johnny.
Jack was surprised by the question, he had never thought about it and just shrugged to indicate that he didn't know.
- Well... I can't, but there are plenty of people who do. Starting with the chicks, they don't seem to be so disgusted by it. And then, it suits us well.
- Has Dee-Dee ever sucked you off?
- Um, no. I didn't do much with her. What about you and Aisha?
- Man, I was this close to getting it on yesterday. If Dee-Dee hadn't come in because you fell asleep!
- Damn right," Jack recalled. But I was so exhausted last night, I closed my eyes for two minutes and when I opened them again, it was morning and you were in bed with me.
- I took it as a sign of fate. You always told me it was important to learn and everything so I bought something for tonight!
- Oh yeah, what? Jack asked, curious but a little suspicious.
Johnny frantically rummaged through a bag and triumphantly pulled out a VHS that he handed to his friend.
- Is that a porn movie?
- That's right! I figured it wouldn't hurt to educate ourselves a bit. After all, it's stuff we talk about all the time, but in the end we never know how to do it," Johnny explained.
- It's a German movie.
- Yeah, but the pictures are good.
- So, I'm probably not the most knowledgeable about it, but I'm not sure that making love is really like in the movies.
- Well, I don't know. How did you know what to do?
- Uh... Jack stammered. Well ... I don't know ... ? It's instinctive, even animals know what to do. I think we're kind of programmed to do this kind of thing... No ?
- And what is the clitoris? And above all, where is it? Is it inside? And the G-spot, is it a spot?
- Uh... No. I mean, I don't think so. But why don't you ask Aisha? She'll know better than me!
- But because she'll think I'm a loser!
- You know what? Let's watch your movie.
- Ah, that's my boy," said Johnny, patting Jack on the back.
That night, Jang-Mi was very surprised that her two boys didn't go out and even more surprised that they went to bed so early. It was so unusual for them that she became suspicious. Fortunately for the two Saints, Jang-Mi didn't inquire about it, figuring that they were just tired.
In Johnny's room, he was already rubbing his hands together as he put the tape in his VCR while Jack was already in his T-shirt and boxers in bed. Johnny soon joined him, just in his boxers, turning off the light as he went.
- But by the way, he realized. How are we going to do this?
- Do what?
- Well... You know well, tried to explain Johnny by mimicking a masturbatory gesture.
- Ah. Well, each one on his own, eh?
- I can imagine! But doesn't that make us gay?
- Wtf... ? Of course not. I don't know about you, but usually when I jerk off, there's always someone in the same room ...
- What? But that's really weird!
- But Johnny, what do you want me to do? I live in a boarding school! There were only showers and toilets to have some privacy, but we all knew. And I slept in 15m² with another guy, there were tacit agreements between us. Each one on his own and we don't look at each other. We used to sleep with headphones on, otherwise...
- It's not embarrassing... ?
- We get used to it... It's not like I really had a choice. Eventually, as time went on, it didn't bother me anymore. I couldn't wait to get home to my mom every other weekend to get my balls off...
- Well. Well, after all, why not. Do you want a sock?
- Uh... Paper towels will do.
Johnny started the movie while Jack lay down, one hand behind his head, the other on his stomach, and the movie started. It was a cheap production - in German - but given the boys' lack of experience, they didn't try to be picky. It was pretty badly shot, but the lead actress was pleasant enough that the boys had no problem with it, and as soon as she began to caress herself outrageously in front of the camera, Jack did the same by touching himself with his fingertips. Johnny was stunned by the scene and remained strangely impassive, as if he was watching an animal documentary.
- Damn, that's a good-looking chick," he said suddenly.
- She's very pretty, yeah.
- But she's old, right? She's at least 40.
- I like it, I find older women exciting. I would love to fuck one of them one day.
- I don't know, yeah it must be good. They must have experience.
- I'm sure that chick in there, she's sucked some dick for sure.
The woman in the video was in the company of two men with whom she was having oral sex, confirming Jack's theory.
- I'd love to do what they did one day," Jack admitted.
- You've already been pumped, right?
- I don't talk about that, but two of us fucking a chick. Fucking imagine, we should do it one day, you and me. You know, like bros.
- Well, I'd rather be with two chicks.
- I've already done it. That's why I'd like to try a threesome with another guy and another girl.
- And with whom? Not Aisha, I warn you!
- Well a random chick, whatever.
- But who! Aisha won't let me go to another girl.
- Johnny, if you and I ever get the chance, promise me we'll do it.
- I don't know, I don't want any trouble.
- I'd love to be in their fucking shoes. I've got it bad, I want to fuck so bad," said Jack, already very hot.
While it was hard for him to hide the little frantic movement he was intensifying under the sheets, Johnny was having a hard time sharing his enthusiasm and was watching the movie far too cerebrally.
- I hope Aisha didn't do stuff like that with Warren.
- Stop it Johnny.
- Can you imagine if she blew him?
- Johnny. She probably blew him. And he filed her pussy down pretty good before dropping the sauce after groping her tits. Maybe he even put it in her ass. What the hell now?
- Han ! But don't say that!
- The next one will be you, so stop wondering and imagine yourself fucking her instead.
- Yeah, you're right," Johnny relaxed a little. Shit, she's got some sweet tits.
- Hm... Jack said, imagining himself very well.
- I love groping her and it's even more fascinating when her nipples get all hard.
- Huh hum.
- And then, I already tasted her pussy. It was so good.
- Oh yeah, I did that with my ex. I remember her moaning, her gasping for breath, her little squirming...
- Yeah... Said Johnny, who relaxed and began to slide his hand down to his crotch. She was soaked with wetness, I could clearly see the entrance to her pussy opening up, I just had to get in...
- Oh yes... And then you would have impaled her on your cock ... Jack sighed, very excited.
- Yeah ... And now, I imagine that it is very tight and how I am almost cramped inside ...
- And that she's moaning about not stopping until you fill her up...
As Jack's imagination took him further and further into orgasm, he stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Johnny get up, kicking the blanket away, and stand on his bed, cock in hand.
- AND I'LL FILL HER WITH GALLONS OF CUM! he shouted at Jack, who froze.
- Ji-Hoon! his mother shouted as she opened the door. You can stop screaming if you wa...
There followed a deep sense of unease between the three individuals where no one dared to move, or even breathe for a very - too - long time.
- ACH! DU BIST EINE SCHLAMPE! shouted the actor of the German porn movie.
Jang-Mi closed the door of the room in an unbearable languor, punctuated by the creaking of the hinges, leaving the two boys of an absolute embarrassment.
They looked at each other naked, not knowing how to react.
- Shall we sleep...? Johnny suggested.
- And we never talk about it again...? Jack added.
- Deal.
- Deal.
They each turned to one side of the bed, carefully avoiding eye contact.
The next day, Jack refrained from telling Tyrone about his exploits at school, but resolved to close the deal with Dee-Dee as soon as possible. She clearly wanted to move on, and he felt his libido was getting out of control. So they both had something to gain.
He often thought about her, and wondered if he wasn't also falling in love... But Lindsay's curves, which he always passed in the corridors of his school, reminded him that there were a lot of desirable women on earth...
Since Julius hadn't shown up, Jack and Johnny decided to use their free time to devise a plan to seduce the Tyler sisters.
First by a detour to the cinema where Jack and Dee-Dee spent more time snogging than following Ace Ventura's adventures in Africa, despite the disapproving look of the older sister who was especially annoyed because her fiancé kept talking to her about the rhinoceros scene which made him laugh until the evening, then by redistributing their fortune between hamburgers, drinks, cigarettes and even flowers to their girlfriends.
That Wednesday afternoon, the two couples were squatting in a dilapidated, tag-covered playground in the ghetto of Saints Row, curled up together smoking cigarettes.
- Four days off for Thanksgiving weekend, how good that will make us feel! said Dee-Dee, stretching.
- It sure will," agreed Jack. Too many things to do right now, it's good to have a break.
- Well... It doesn't make much difference to me," said Johnny, long out of school.
Jack chuckled before he bumped into his neighbor Daria, who was taking her youngest son to the park. She greeted him and returned the favor.
Daria was a woman probably in her 30s or 50s. She looked so ravaged that it was hard to give her an age. She was a former drug addict, or maybe she still was, but crack had taken its toll on her. She was the one who babysat Oliver when Tamara didn't have a babysitting solution, which was pretty much all the time. Jack was never reassured to know that he was with her, but Daria had two sons, one of which was about his age, so she knew how to take care of children despite everything...
- Hi Daria," Jack greeted her.
- Oh, Nate, aren't you in school?
Aisha, Johnny and Dee-Dee immediately noticed that the woman had called him by a different name.
- It's Thanksgiving tomorrow. I don't start school again until Monday.
- Your mother asked me to babysit your brother tonight, but that doesn't really work for me...
It wasn't really in his plans, but when he saw Daria staggering he knew he had to do something.
- Yeah, yeah, I'll take care of him, don't worry! What time does my mom leave for work?
- I don't know, 5 o'clock maybe?
- It's 4:48...
- Yes, I was just running an errand," she said.
Daria's "errand" was quite explicit when she handed a few dollars to a young man discreetly. He stuffed the bills in his pocket and disappeared as quickly as he had arrived.
What a shitty neighborhood...
And what a dog's life, he couldn't possibly leave his brother in the hands of a junkie.
- By the way, Nate, if you could remind your mother that she still owes me money for the custody of your brother...
His mother didn't have any money, he knew that.
- How much does she owe you?
- 230 bucks. She hasn't paid in months...
Jack winced and pulled some bills from his pocket to pay his neighbor. Even though he was on bad terms with his mother, he knew that not everything was her fault. She worked her ass off, and he had always respected that. If he could make her feel better for once, it would be the least he could do. She might be imperfect, but he couldn't deny that she had always made sure he had a roof over his head and something to eat, and that counted...
Daria counted her bills with delight and quickly waved to the teenagers to run after her supplier, just to add a few more doses. Jack jumped to his feet and unzipped his jeans.
- I'm going home for tonight. I'll see you tomorrow?
- Sure," Johnny replied.
- Will you be home alone? Aisha asked him.
- With my brother, yes.
- How old is your brother?
- He's almost two, he's a baby.
- Oh, that's so cute! Dee-Dee melted. Can I come see him?
- Do you know that Daddy is working tonight? Aisha reminded him, with a not-so-innocent ulterior motive.
- Oh?" said both boys.
- Oh, but it's true! What time will your mom be home, Jack? Dee-Dee asked, her hands clasped in hope.
- Probably not until tomorrow. She works nights too.
- Aisha, can you tell Mom that I'm sleeping at Talysha's tonight?
The two sisters looked at each other with a knowing glance. But at last, here was THE night they had been waiting for. Jack reached out to his sweetheart, who accepted, and with a wink from Johnny, they slipped away to Mission Beach hand in hand. They arrived laughing in front of Jack's house after running around the neighborhood. It wasn't even 5 p.m., so the timing was perfect.
Jack took out his keys and unlocked the front door. He ran into his mother who, for once, seemed to see him coming like the Messiah.
- Oh Nate, you're just in time. I have to go to work and Daria doesn't answer! Can you take care of your brother?
- Hi, yes. And yes, I ran into Daria, that's why I'm here.
Tamara didn't let him tell his story and put his little brother in his arms.
- Did you know that Daria is high on crack?
- Who doesn't get high on crack in this neighborhood? her mother retorted.
- My parents," said Dee-Dee.
Tamara turned back to the girl and looked her up and down. She didn't make any further comment to this stranger. At least this time he had brought a girl back, that was good enough...
- I have to go, she said simply. I'll be back tomorrow morning.
- Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, will you be there? Jack asked.
- I won't be working.
- I can make dinner if you want.
- Do what you want, I have to go. See you tomorrow.
She kissed her youngest son and left the house hurriedly without greeting her eldest. Jack stood in the doorway with his little brother in his arms, smiling immediately as Dee-Dee looked on.
- She looks tense, your mother.
- She's always like that.
- She's so young! I thought she was your sister at first. What about your dad? Does he work too?
- No, he's in prison.
This information did not shock the girl. She was used to the fathers of her classmates or young neighbors being incarcerated, dead or missing and knew that she was very lucky to have parents who were still together. It was a rare exception in a place like this. She looked around at his friend's house while he looked after his little brother.
The house didn't look like much and the inside was pretty much the same as the outside. It was rather small, damp, and nothing here smelled like money. Dee-Dee quickly realized that her lover came from a social class even poorer than hers, which was already not enviable ...
- I'm not going to rot here all my life, you know," Jack defended himself, sensing that the girl was on the fence.
- I don't judge. I come from a poor family too. We're only going to get by because the insurance companies will release the money Aisha made from her records.
- Are you going to leave the row?
- Probably. Aisha wants to go live in the Suburbs with Johnny. And I don't know, my parents are still hesitating. But they don't plan on staying here, that's for sure.
- Um... They want to leave Stilwater?
- I don't know... I hope not.
- You know Dee-Dee... I'll probably leave town next year.
- What...? She said, disappointed.
- It's for my studies... I've been offered a place at Harvard in Massachusetts. I can't refuse such an opportunity, you know...
- I understand, but ... What about us?
Jack didn't have an answer. With the distance, their relationship was doomed and they both knew it. But with the start of the new school year still a long way off, they had time to think about it, even though at fifteen and sixteen, there was little chance of a successful outcome ... Jack kissed Dee-Dee's hair as she remained silent.
- What do you say we go out and get something to eat for tonight? And we take in passing a little alcohol and weed, what do you say? Jack proposed by caressing his face.
- And also you know what? Added she by pinching her lips. I stay here to sleep if you agree.
- My bed is really small, it will be necessary to tighten itself, joked Jack.
They laughed and got dressed to go shopping with Oliver, whom they each held in one hand. Dee-Dee was amazed at his friend's patience with his little brother, whom he took over everything from eating to bathing to bedtime. Like a small couple, they prepared to eat, before settling down in front of the TV with a movie rented the same day in a video store. They didn't really take the time to watch it, too busy cuddling and kissing.
- Can we go to your room? Dee-Dee offered, biting her lips.
Jack smiled at her, and took her by the hand to get upstairs. He took her into his room, which surprised her by its sobriety and by the size of the room, which was really quite small. There was nothing on the walls and it was just furnished with a desk, a kind of dressing room a bit rickety and almost empty and a bed. A bit the opposite of Johnny's room, where there was a mess and things hung everywhere or the girls' rooms in the same kind. But she didn't have time to linger over the place as Jack made her lie down on his bed, before wallowing on it. The two teenagers embraced each other before starting to undress each other gently. They took their time, not wanting to rush each other and still enjoying caresses. It was Jack who took the lead, giving Dee-Dee a cunnilingus, which was as surprised as it was delighted. When he got up, she knew she had to return the favor, and she willingly grabbed the elastic of his underwear to make him remove it.
Even though he was no longer a virgin, Jack had never achieved this level of reciprocal intimacy with a girl. He clearly knew the difference between professionals and a real girlfriend who gave herself for love, after all, Julius had told him that you weren't really a man if you didn't know how to seduce a woman. This meant that he would become a man.
Alas, the solemn moment was interrupted by Oliver's screams that echoed through the house. Jack looked at Dee-Dee and without question, dropped everything to rescue his brother who was screaming his head off.
- Hey baby, what's wrong? Jack asked his brother who was already holding his arms out to him.
- Mamaaaaaa," screamed Oliver, who was hiccupping in terror.
- She's working. But I'm here.
He took his brother out of bed and rocked him gently. The little boy was terrified, and his older brother didn't quite understand why until he remembered that he, too, had terrible fears at night as a child. He was afraid that his mother would never come back, afraid of being alone, or of being with strangers, things that unfortunately for the child he had been, had gone far beyond the stage of fiction.
- Everything is fine. Nate is here... he repeated softly to soothe his brother.
Oliver hiccupped again and held his older brother tightly. Jack realized he couldn't get him back into bed without drama and took him back to his room. Dee-Dee smiled at him, touched by her boyfriend's investment in his brother, and gladly made room in the bed for the two brothers.
- It won't be tonight, sorry, honey," Jack apologized.
- It doesn't matter, she assured him, serene.
- Mom ... hiccuped once again Oliver.
- She'll be back, baby. Don't worry, Nate is here...
He stroked his brother's hair until he fell asleep.
- You've got a lot of patience with the little ones," Dee-Dee told him.
- I don't know, he's the only little one I know actually. I don't think I have any with the others.
- You're going to be a great father anyway.
- I won't have a child.
- Why not?
- Because I don't want one. I'm too afraid of being a lousy father or becoming like mine. So it's better that I don't.
- I'd like to have at least five children," Dee-Dee smiled mischievously.
- Hm.
- Tell me Jack, why does everyone here call you Nate?
He winced. How could he hide such information?
- Because my name is Nathan. Nathan-Jeremiah in fact … Jack is my "G" name. It's also the name I chose for myself, it's much more important to me than my birth name. But then again, go explain that to my mother... On the other hand, I beg you to keep this to yourself, if I tell you this, it's because I trust you...
- Nathan... I like it too. But I can't imagine calling you anything but Jack now.
- How about you ? I guess Dee-Dee is just a nickname.
- Denissa.
- Oh I like it, it's nice!
He was comfortable with her and despite the presence of Oliver in the bed - already not very big - he made room for his girlfriend so that she could fall asleep against him. This proximity made him good and it is calmed that he fell asleep too.
The morning was already well underway when Tamara returned home exhausted. As she pushed open the front door, she was immediately greeted by her youngest child who jumped into her arms. She was surprised to smell cooking throughout the house and soon realized that it was her eldest son who had decided to get into the kitchen.
- What are you doing? She asked, putting down her purse.
- I figured you'd be too tired to cook for Thanksgiving, so I took care of it.
Tamara raised an eyebrow, very surprised. It wasn't like her son to make a move on her. She stood up and glanced at the contents of the bags of food next to him.
- How did you buy this?
- I worked for it.
- Nate, you're supposed to be working at school, not doing whatever job I don't want to know about.
- I work at the school. Did you know that NASA contacted me? And I'll eventually have an all-expenses-paid position at Harvard for next year.
- Your principal told me.
- And that's cool, right? Aren't you proud of me?
- It's a competition, I believe. And you haven't been accepted yet.
- Why do you keep breaking me? Will it skin your face to be just a little bit happy for me? At least pretend to be happy for me, I don't know ...
- I'm tired of you Nate. I'm happy, I'm just waiting to see some substance now. It seems to me that you haven't exactly been shining at school lately, except for being pointed out for your immature behavior which I don't even have the words for.
- Don't spoil it," Jack grumbled, starting to get angry.
- You, don't spoil it, she replied, lighting a cigarette. You remain here all the weekend?
- I do not know, why?
- Because Herode will be here in ten minutes and I don't want to hear you yelling and fighting again.
- Then let him stop insulting my father every time he sees me. He's always getting on my case, busting my balls.
- But he's paying for your boarding school, so please shut up. Nate. We'll never make it without him, I wish you'd understand that.
- Dad will eventually get out of prison...
- Yeah, and he'll go right back in, you know that.
He knew it. Alphonse Collins was always a failure, unable to do anything right for his family. Tamara had loved him like she would never love again in her life, but this man had done her more harm than good and had dragged her down considerably. But no one likes to hear that their father - whose perfect look-alike you are - is a loser who deserves only what happens to him.
- I've given up on your father, I've wasted too much time on him. From now on, my life is with Herode and our child. Just imagine, he built us a real house, in a safe neighborhood, far from here. He helps me to finance your studies, he takes care of his son and thanks to him, I will be able to resume my studies where I had to stop them.
- But you don't love him, do you?
- You are young Nathan, but I would like you to learn that you don't marry someone just for love.
- Isn't that what marriage is all about?
- Yes, when you have no ambition whatsoever. Look what it did to your father. He just ruined my life. Go to Harvard, get that job at NASA. You're going to be somebody someday, so stop trying to bond with your father, it won't do you any good.
- It's probably easy to write people off for you, but not for me. And it pisses me off that Oliver is going so far away...
- Please stop whining, you're making me tired.
- Well yeah, but I can never say anything. Why the fuck are you always so horrible to me? My friends' mothers, they take care of their kids, they love them, they spend time with them, why haven't we ever experienced that?
- Because love is earned!
- And what does that mean? That I'm not good enough for you? That I look too much like my father, so it doesn't suit you? I'm tired of being disliked for no reason at all! You're driving me crazy! Can you imagine how I feel sometimes, being convinced that I'm never good enough for anyone? I'm starting to hate the whole world because of you! I hardly dare to have friends and I'm always afraid that they will betray me or turn their backs on me. I can't tell my girlfriend I love her without fearing she'll laugh in my face, and that's because of you. And only you.
Tamara didn't have time to defend herself when the front door slammed and Oliver's shouts of joy were explicit enough for her and her oldest son to understand that Herode had returned. He embraced his wife and son and barely glanced at his son-in-law, who didn't try to make contact either.
- What is he doing here...? Herode whispered quietly to his wife.
- I hear you, eh? Jack informed him.
- Are you going to stay here all weekend?
- No, you do not make any, smiled to him petty the teenager, already on the nerves.
- Hum, that smells good, did you make a meal? Asked Herode while turning to his wife. I thought we were going out to a restaurant to celebrate.
- Nathan cooked.
- Did he? Then we'll go out as planned.
It seemed that nobody considered the teenager who received this sentence as a violent punch.
- You know what, why don't you go fuck yourself.
- Nathan, don't start, his mother warned him.
- You shut up too. It's not fucking possible, no matter what I do, you always have a killer line for me. I'm never good enough for you so you know what, let's call it a day.
- You talk to your mother differently, Herode threatened him with his finger.
- But what if I don't? You're going to beat me up? But go ahead, I wait for you, provoked Jack.
- Come on, it's Thanksgiving, maybe we can leave our differences aside, Tamara tried to moderate when she saw that the spirits were getting hot.
- No, no, that's just it, Nathan. Let's settle this between men once and for all.
- Okay, let's settle it.
- You've been bugging us for years with your behavior. You're insolent, you're rude, you're full of crap. It's a good thing you're at least a little bit intelligent in class, because if you weren't, we would have put you in a detention center a long time ago. You're a pain in the ass, you've always been, except for taxing us money, you're useless.
- Herode... Tried to moderate Tamara.
- You're just a mistake, like your fucking father. That idiot who got himself killed in jail.
- Herode!
Jack didn't mind being insulted, he was used to it. It affected him even less when it was said by a man whose opinion he didn't care about. But this one had just dropped a bomb.
- My father is dead...? Jack asked, shocked.
- Nathan... We don't know that for sure, his mother explained.
- What do you mean we're not sure?
- He tried to escape from prison and they say he drowned in the city waters... He has been reported missing for almost a year now.
- A year... Jack realized. But you told me three months ago that you went to the prison to get him to sign some papers!
- I lied. I didn't want to tell you without being sure.
- You've made such a fool of me... How could you hide something like that from me... ?
- Nathan...
- Wait, he owns the house » he realized. Fuck, does that mean that legally, the house is mine and you tried to make me believe that you were giving it to me out of the goodness of your heart?
- Of course not...
- Of course you did! Well, you know what? Get the hell out of my house.
- You're a minor, it doesn't belong to you," retorted Herode.
- So emancipate me as planned! And then, get the hell out of my life.
Shocked, humiliated, Jack pushed his mother who had tried to take a step towards him and she fell to the ground. He didn't look back and headed for the door. His stepfather stopped him by holding his arm.
- Let me go, you bastard, don't touch me!
Herode punched him hard in the stomach, making him bend in two.
- You never disrespect your mother in front of me.
At the end of his nerves, Jack rushed towards his father-in-law and threw all his weight on him to the point of making him fall on the ground. The two men began to fight as Tamara tried to separate them.
- You will kill yourselves! There's no need," she shouted.
Herode, who was heavier, got the upper hand and managed to pin Jack underneath him. He slammed him in the face and the teenager nearly fainted. Blood began to flow, but that didn't stop Herode from continuing. Tamara's pleas put an end to the teenager's ordeal, who remained on the ground without moving.
- That's enough, Herode! Stop it ... She calmed him down.
Oliver had shriveled up in a corner, tears in his eyes and watched his brother get up with difficulty, moaning. Jack held his eye and spat a little blood on the floor. He breathed heavily and gave a glare, filled with hatred, to his mother and stepfather.
- This is the last time. This is the last time you will see me.
- Nathan, let's calm down and ...
- Shut up. Damn bitch that never managed to protect me from anybody in this whole fucking life! Everything that's happened to me is your fault and you'll pay for it one day, I swear. If you don't get the hell out of my house by the end of the weekend, I'm going to sue you for assault and injury.
- That's all you're good for, Herode shouted.
- Nathan, is there any other way to settle this? Tamara tried to soften her up.
He nodded his head and staggered towards the door, still stunned by the blows. As Jang-Mi had suggested, he had tried to take a step towards his mother and the disappointment was equal to it.
Now he had no mother.
And no father, by force of circumstance.
His parents could no longer do anything for him, so he had nothing to lose.
He walked over to Oliver and kissed him, then wiped the blood from his innocent face and walked out the door.
Nathan no longer existed.
Only Jack remained.
And he had hatred.