WARNING: This chapter is definitely rated MATURE. An attempt to dive a little into Emily and JJ's love. The inspiration came out of thin air but it ended up being something I liked a lot. Enjoy.

CHAPTER SIXTY-EIGHT

15x08 Family Tree

"I hardly know what to say - sir."

"Well, we hope you'll say yes. I don't need an answer today. Our transition timeline is still several months down the road. I just wanted to make you aware for now." Emily nodded, absentmindedly. "You've got that deer-in-the-headlights look, Agent Prentiss."

"It's just - it's a lot to consider…" She laughed, a little flustered. "Director of the FBI."

"Well, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. It's a political position, and the vetting process can be grueling, but you wouldn't be on the short list if we didn't think you could handle it."

"I'm honored, sir."

"And if I can offer a personal aside… after 100-plus years, I think it's high time The Bureau had a female at the helm." Emily was too shocked to say anything. Emily smiled politely. "Think about it. Now, until I have an answer, I'm gonna have to ask that this remains confidential."

"Of course. Thank you, sir."

"Spill, why don't you? How was Portland?"

JJ looked down at her ice cream and smiled. "It was wonderful. The boys had a ball, Emily and I actually disconnected a little, and I ate so many oysters, I'm pretty sure I have pearls growing in me."

"More likely what's growing inside of you is vibrio vulnificus. It's a bacterial contamination caused by eating raw seafood. There's 52,000 cases a year in the United States alone."

"I forgot we invited the fun police," Penelope said sarcastically, giving Spencer a pointed look. "Ignore him. That's what lemon juice is for. It kills the bacteria."

"I'm so glad you're not my primary care physician."

"Okay, that was gross and I'm gonna change the subject," JJ said quickly. "Can the two of you keep a secret?" Both Penelope and Spencer looked up quickly.

"He can. I can't," Penelope answered with a mischievous smile. "Tell us anyway?"

"Okay, so the field office up there has a Unit Chief position opening. The job's mine if I want it."

"In Maine?" Spencer asked in a small voice.

"Wait. You're leaving? Is that the reason you guys went up there?"

"I didn't know you were looking at other things."

JJ glanced back and forth between her friends and their quick fire of questions. "I'm not. I put my name on the O.P. list there, like years ago, and I completely forgot about it, but apparently my name has worked its way to the top."

"Why… I don't know how to feel about this," Penelope said sadly. "I mean, I should be happy for you, but that means you're there and not here with us. Oh my god, and Emily too?"

"Well, I'm afraid we come as a package deal these days," JJ joked back. Neither of them smiled though. Spencer looked down at his ice cream. JJ glanced between the two of them.

"What are we gonna do if you're both not here? You can't both leave…" Penelope was talking so fast, she was almost out of breath. Her phone chimed in her hand. "And that's Emily! We have a case." All three of them stood. "This conversation is not over!" Penelope added as she passed JJ.

"I didn't say I was gonna take it," JJ called after them.

They all made their way to the conference room. JJ looked around but didn't see Emily anywhere. That was odd - Emily was normally the first one there when presenting a new case. After a moment, she came speeding in the door, looking flustered and pulling up the sleeves of her shirt.

"Sorry," she murmured.

"Deputy Director didn't beat you up too much, did he?"

"Uh, no. Just the usual bumps and bruises. Penelope?" JJ had a hunch there was more to the story, but stayed quiet - Emily would tell her later.

"We'll get back at this in the morning. Get a couple hours and meet back here at 7."

With heavy sighs, everyone shuffled their way out of the room. Twenty minutes later, JJ was opening the door to their hotel room. She was definitely exhausted, but she was curious about Emily's meeting. She went into the bathroom and pulled out her tooth brush and tooth paste.

"How was your meeting this morning?"

Emily glanced up at JJ and paused for a moment. "It was… interesting…"

JJ turned to her and raised her eyebrows. She stuck the tooth brush in her mouth. "Interesting 'good?' or interesting 'bad?'"

Emily reached across for the tooth paste. She laughed dryly. "I guess it depends. He told me that I'm on a short list to become the Director."

"Director?" JJ replied nonchalantly. Then she paused, her eyes widened in understanding. "Of the FBI?" JJ asked, her voice garbled by the brush still in her mouth.

Emily smiled tentatively and nodded her head. She went on to continue what she was doing, but JJ reached out and grabbed her arm.

"Emily…" JJ searched her eyes. "Oh my god! That's incredible! Did - did you have any idea…?"

Emily shook her head, smiling stiffly.

"What's wrong?" JJ asked.

"I can't take it…" she said softly.

JJ broke eye contact and looked down. Even she had momentarily gotten caught up in the news. She leaned over, holding her hair back and spit her toothpaste out.

"That's not necessarily true…" JJ whispered back.

Emily gave her wife a caustic look. "Jay - don't even -"

"Why not?" She cut her off.

Emily shook her head a little and spit her toothpaste out. She put her brush down next to the sink and walked out of the bathroom. JJ followed behind, flipping the light off.

"I'm not going to let you end your career for me," Emily said stubbornly.

"You have a chance to be the first female FBI Director in history."

"Yeah? And what about you? What about Portland?"

"Forget that. This is more important."

Emily shook her head as she pulled back the covers of their bed. JJ crossed her arms. She stood to the side of the bed and watched as Emily slid under the covers. Emily laid on her back and covered her eyes with her arm. JJ stared at her for a moment before relenting and joining her under the covers.

"I don't want you to turn it down out of a sense of obligation," JJ breathed.

"And I don't want you to push me towards it because you think you owe me something," Emily countered with a stern look on her face.

JJ went quiet. The moment lingered for a while. Then Emily turned to face JJ. She rested herself up on her elbow and looked down at her wife.

"I don't even think I'm going to get it," she said vulnerably.

"Why?"

Emily smiled painfully. She looked away from JJ's eyes. "It's a political position, Jay…" JJ gazed at Emily sadly. She read between the lines and shook her head in understanding. "Besides, I don't think I could do that to Michael and Henry. It's going to be hard enough for them as it is."

JJ turned to look at the ceiling, angrily. When she glanced back at Emily, she found her already gazing at her. Emily smiled gently and took one of JJ's hands in her own. JJ sighed. She could tell that Emily had done nothing but agonize over this predicament for the past 12 hours. She had reached a place of peace. JJ hadn't yet.

"I told Penelope and Spence about the Portland job," JJ whispered.

Emily grinned and laughed a little, "I thought you were going to keep that a secret."

"Yeah, well…" JJ began, laughing with Emily. "I wanted them to know." She interlaced her fingers with Emily's and seemed to study their clasped hands. "They weren't exactly thrilled about it," JJ whispered.

"I can imagine…"

Emily shifted to lay her head back down on the pillow. JJ shifted onto her side to face her. She reached out to tuck some of Emily's hair behind her ear. JJ smiled softly in admiration.

"What…?" Emily asked. It only made JJ smile grow.

"You're hair," JJ responded. "It's turning gray." JJ thought back to when she first met her. Emily's hair was so jet black it was striking against her pale skin. Now, there were some streaks of gray giving it a salt and pepper look. JJ liked it though. She liked the idea of growing old with her.

"Yeah, I know…" Emily answered in an irritated voice. She ran a hand through her hair, then looked back up at JJ.

"I think it's kinda hot," JJ said with an infatuated shine in her eyes. Emily cracked a smile and shook her head.

She was beyond relieved to finally hang up the phone and start to put this case behind her. Emily turned and saw JJ's blonde hair peeking out above the far seat. She made her way to her. JJ took her headphones out as she sat down.

"Hey," Emily exhaled as she sunk into the seat across from her. "So, there's a rumor floating around…" JJ gave Emily a perplexed look. Emily continued, "The Deputy Director just called and asked me 'how seriously my wife is considering taking the Unit Chief position in Portland.'"

JJ sighed, closing her eyes. "Penelope…" She had no idea how she managed to spread it so far, so quickly.

"So, honestly… how serious are you about it?" Emily asked plainly.

"I don't know. It kinda came out of nowhere, Em."

"Yeah… it did. But some of the best things do."

JJ smiled tightly. Despite JJ's casualness, Emily saw in her eyes that this was something that excited her. JJ had given up a lot to further Emily's career. That's the way JJ showed her love - she put others before herself. And Emily knew that about her. But sometimes she wished JJ would be a little selfish.

"They'd be lucky to have you," Emily continued. "But - um, there is a third option…" She looked at JJ timidly. JJ gave her an apprehensive look back. Emily paused and JJ searched her eyes curiously. "If I were to… move on… from my position, you would be next in line to take over as Unit Chief."

JJ quickly shook off the idea. She knew her wife was ambitious, but there was no way she could be the Unit Chief and Emily could be the Director at the same time.

"How do you see that working? We can barely keep up with our schedule now. You want to add more?"

"Less… actually," Emily whispered back calmly.

Now JJ was really confused. She narrowed her eyes. Emily leaned back in her seat. She decided to stay quiet and watch as the realization washed over JJ's face. She dropped her jaw a little, but didn't speak.

"You always try to make everyone else happy - but you've already given up too much," Emily breathed in a ghostly voice. JJ set her jaw and stared intensely at her wife. She began to shake her head, but quickly turned to see if the rest of the squad could hear them.

"We can't do this right now," she whispered back.

Emily agreed with her. This was not a conversation to have in whispers. This was a conversation that would almost definitely end in heated discussion. Emily nodded her head faintly in concession.

"I didn't mean to shut you down earlier. It means a lot - what you said." JJ said from the bathroom. Emily had just walked into their bedroom after checking up on Henry and Michael. "But Emily, there's gotta be a better solution."

"I know…" Emily admitted, defeated. "Hey, maybe they don't even offer me the position," she added cynically.

When JJ didn't respond, Emily leaned her head into the bathroom and found JJ staring down at a pregnancy test in her hand. Emily raised her eyebrows. JJ forced a despondent smile. She walked past Emily, handing her the test, and walked to their bed. Emily looked down at the test in her hand. Negative.

Emily turned and watched as JJ got in bed. Emily put the test down on the bathroom counter and followed her. She knew JJ was frustrated. They didn't have any problem getting pregnant before. But this was the fourth negative test.

"I'm not usually one to believe in signs from the universe but…" JJ muttered dejectedly. Emily sat down on the edge of their bed, facing her. JJ glanced up to meet Emily's eyes and gave her an apologetic smile.

"It's gonna be okay, Jay…" Emily whispered soothingly. "Whatever happens - it's gonna be okay." That earned her an appreciative smile from her wife. Emily smiled back. She leaned in to kiss her and their lips met softly. JJ kissed her back halfheartedly. Emily pulled back to look at her. "Besides… I'm having a pretty good time trying," Emily added sarcastically.

JJ grinned involuntarily, looking down bashfully. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." Emily nodded, watching JJ. She was still looking down at her lap. When she raised her head, there was a mischievous shine in her eyes.

"Me too… You wanna have a good time right now?" JJ asked flirtatiously. She rested her arms on Emily's shoulders, locking her hands behind her neck. She pulled Emily in to kiss her and relaxed into her arms. Emily felt her hum against her lips. She knew it wouldn't be long before their desire made it impossible for them to stop.

"Do you want me to go get…?" Emily asked softly. She didn't know her wife's intentions.

"No." JJ shook her head. "I just want you."

She pulled Emily back in for a kiss, leaning back so she had to follow. JJ felt her weight on top of her. It gave her a sense of security. Emily had a way of doing that. JJ reached down and slipped her hand into the pajama pants Emily was wearing. She felt the low rumble of a moan in Emily's chest. The intensity in which she was kissing her doubled.

They had been focusing so much recently on getting pregnant that JJ hadn't realized how much she missed the simple pleasure of watching her wife unravel by her touch. JJ was already breathing hard - Emily pulled away to let her catch her breath. Emily's eyes were dangerously dark with desire. It sent a flutter through her chest. JJ pushed her gently and Emily let her turn them until Emily was lying on her back and JJ was staring down at her.

Neither said anything. JJ took a long moment to admire her before leaning down to kiss her again. This time, their kissing wasn't fast and desperate - it was deep and slow. JJ ran a slow hand up the side of Emily's body.

"You feel really good…" JJ whispered softly against her wife's lips. They gazed into each other's eyes for a moment. Emily smiled with affection. She ran her hands up under JJ's tank top and pulled it over her head. Emily's hands came down slowly, trailing along JJ's skin. When JJ leaned back down to kiss her, she did so with deep resolve. She wanted Emily to feel her love. Sometimes saying it didn't feel like enough.

Emily's hands felt warm and secure as they ran over the newly exposed skin of JJ's stomach and chest. The skin there wasn't smooth anymore. There were scars - like twisted souvenirs of the trauma she'd been through over the years.

JJ ran her hands under Emily's shirt while leaning down to kiss down her neck. Emily ran her hand through JJ's hair and closed her eyes. She always tried to remember what it felt like when JJ held her like this - savor the moment. She'd seen too much to believe that there was any rhyme or reason as to why bad things happened. She raised her arms for JJ to pull her shirt off. JJ threw it to the side and immediately went back to kissing her. Down her neck, across her collarbone.

"Jay…" Emily murmured impatiently. JJ smiled against her skin.

"What?" She asked, pulling back. "Am I going too slow?" She ran a hand across Emily's forehead to brush the hair out of her face.

Emily didn't answer. She was content just to gaze up at her. Eventually JJ brought her hands to the waistband of Emily's pants. She pulled them off one leg at a time. There was something so incredibly intimate about the way JJ looked at her while she did it. She was driving Emily crazy - and she knew exactly what she was doing. Emily took in a deep, uneven breath when she felt JJ's lips on the inside of her thigh. JJ gently spread her legs and Emily raised herself to rest on her elbows.

"Jay -" Emily began. She had just told her that she spent too much time trying to make everyone else happy. Emily wanted to make this about her - not the other way around. But JJ was dangerously close to the point of no return. Emily could feel her arms shaking to hold herself up. JJ stopped kissing her to look up.

"Will you just lay back and try to enjoy yourself?" She asked with faux exasperation. Emily stared at her for a moment but eventually JJ saw concession in her eyes. Emily laid back down and threw an arm over her eyes. JJ brought herself up to kiss her lips lightly, whispering, "You can be so stubborn sometimes."

Emily quickly reached behind JJ to unclasp her bra and pull it off. She wrapped arm around JJ and pulled her down for a demanding kiss. JJ broke away sooner than Emily wanted and went back to her spot between her legs. She quickly pulled her panties off and reveled in the sound that escaped her wife's mouth as she ran her tongue over her.

Emily's mind was on fire. She felt like she had absolutely no control over her body whenever JJ did this. If it didn't feel so good, she'd be self conscious about the hold JJ had over her. Her hips jerked up involuntarily. JJ wrapped her arms around her legs, holding her still and pulling them further apart. She continued with determined discipline. The room was spinning in a matter of minutes. Emily felt JJ hum against her and it sent lighting bolts of pleasure through her entire body.

"Jay…"

That was the third time she'd said it now. But this time it sounded more like Emily was losing the last grip she had on her self control. JJ knew that voice - knew what it meant. She continued to lick and kiss her. Emily raked her fingernails gently over her scalp. JJ felt Emily's grip tighten on her hair and her legs shake, but JJ didn't stop. Not until she heard a quiet whimper escape her wife's throat. She looked up at her. Emily's head was turned to the side, eyes still closed, brow furrowed, chest heaving. JJ crawled back up the bed so they were face to face. JJ used her hand to turn Emily's head to face her and placed a heavy kiss on her lips. Emily moaned into JJ's mouth. She still hadn't opened her eyes, riding the aftershocks. She could feel JJ's tongue against hers.

"See, was that so hard?" JJ breathed jokingly between kisses. Emily opened her eyes and was met by a very arrogant-looking JJ.

"You're really proud of yourself, huh?" Emily joked. But there was no denying it - Jennifer Jareau had the power to reduce her to a breathless, trembling mess. And they both knew it.

"I like knowing I can still do that to you," JJ whispered. "Even after 11 years…" She felt Emily's hand come between them and palm one of her breasts. Emily stretched to kiss her again. Time had nothing to do with it. That was clear to her.

"And you?" Emily asked.

"I don't see myself ever getting tired of that," JJ said flirtatiously.

But that wasn't what Emily meant. JJ's smile faded a little. There was a subtle vulnerability in Emily's eyes. It was hard to see - but it was there. JJ pulled out of her embrace and kicked off the shorts and panties she was wearing. Emily watched with dark desire in her eyes. JJ came to lay on her side right next to her. Without saying a word, she took one of Emily's hands and placed it between her legs. One touch and JJ had managed to wind her right back up. Emily closed her eyes achingly and bit down lightly on her wife's shoulder.

"This is you…" She whispered. JJ was clearly hot and bothered. She hoped Emily understood. As if she'd ever stop being attracted to Emily. Just the thought of her made her heart beat fast. But getting to kiss her? Getting to touch her? Getting to watch her fall over the edge? As if that would ever stop turning her on…

Emily rolled on top of her and began kissing down her neck and behind her ear. JJ made quick work of the only remaining piece of clothing Emily had on. Emily let her pull her bra off. Just the feel of Emily's skin pressed up against hers was stoking the fire. She was already aching for her touch. JJ spread her legs wider, hoping her wife would take the hint, but Emily wasn't going to let her off the hook that quickly. She took one of JJ's breasts in her mouth and sucked it softly. Emily felt JJ's fingernails rake across her back. It made her shiver.

"Don't make me beg, Em," JJ muttered achingly.

Emily broke away and moved so she was face to face with her. They kissed quickly. Emily held eye contact as she slid one finger, then two into her. JJ swallowed thickly, holding Emily's face between her hands. She moved to meet Emily's movements.

"I love you," Emily breathed over and over. Their lips are almost touching, but not quite. Emily's steady breath fell gently over JJ's face and JJ's agitated breath over hers. "I love you, I love you."

JJ let out an incoherent moan and Emily felt her tighten around her. Emily slowed her movements, dragging it out as long as she could. She felt JJ's hand shaking on her cheek.

JJ stretched to connect their lips in a long, consuming kiss. Emily pulled away slowly, gazing into JJ's eyes for an extra moment, then rolled onto her side. She stayed close to JJ, not wanting to let her go quite yet. JJ was still trying to catch her breath when she turned to Emily. She was resting her head in her hand, propped up on her elbow. She smiled charmingly back at her. It wasn't fair how seductive Emily could be without even trying. It was always great with her, but tonight was even better than usual.

"I love you," JJ whispered. A faint smile graced Emily's lips.

"I love you," she replied, leaning in and placing a tender kiss on JJ's lips. When they parted, Emily rolled onto her back and JJ pulled herself into her arms. She settled against Emily's shoulder.

"You are going to be an excellent Director," JJ murmured. Emily smiled painfully. She stared off into the darkness as JJ slept.