(Or "Gone Cold Turkey")

"WELL THE LAST TIME YOU REMEMBER, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE'S RESPECTIVE FAMILIES HAD ARRIVED AT BULLWINKLE'S FOR THANKSGIVING. THEIR FAMILIES CONVERSED AND CONVERSED ABOUT VARIOUS TOPICS (such as how Jenny recently got her learner's permit, Marge finally gave up her lust for Dudley Do-Right and George of the Jungle, and how Jerry recently started his own indie-rock band while taking a job at a local food joint), THE THANKSGIVING-LOVER'S PIZZA HAD ARRIVED, MOLDED IN THE SHAPE OF A COOKED TURKEY, AND TORPEDO STOOD UP TO GIVE HIS THANKSGIVING SPEECH."

"Greetings everyone, if you don't know me by now, the name's Torpedo J. Squirrel, I am Rocky's pa and I'd to like to say a few words now we are gathered here…" Torpedo spoke, beginning his Thanksgiving speech. "In this…dingy pizza parlor, with this broken-down robot of my son…."

"NO SOONER THAN TORPEDO SPOKE, THE ROCKY ANIMATRONIC'S JAW FELL CLEAN OFF."

"….with this turkey-flavored and turkey-shaped pizza…we are gathered here to give Thanks. Thanks to all that we hold dear, to all that has come and all that will be…Rocket, would you like to start us off?"

"Well that's easy, Pa, im thankful for my best friend, Bullwinkle!" Rocky wrapped an arm around the moose. "And also the ability to fly!"

"Thanks, Rock!" Bullwinkle smiled. "I'm thankful for you, my family, and also mooseberries!"

"I'm thankful for my daughter, my boy, and his friend, and for you, honeybunch..." Torpedo spoke, nuzzling Missile and giving her a quick peck on the cheek.

"Ditto!" Missile giggled, giving a kiss to Torpedo.

"I'm thankful for my family, my lovely wife," Bill gave Vera a quick kiss. "And the hospitality of my son's friend's family!"

"I'm like, totally thankful for the new cell my dad gave me!" Jenny smiled. "Oh, and for my big brother!"

"I'm thankful for our wonderful family, and my equally-wonderful job in telemarketing." Vera smiled, then poured herself some red wine from a glass that Magnum gifted her. "In addition to this lovely 64' Cabernet Sauvignon!"

("I'm thankful for my comics and my D and D figurines…especially Red Sonja..") Jerry signed, a huge smile growing on his face. ("Me-yowww..")

"Woah-kay Jerry!" Bullwinkle's uncle Percy exclaimed and signed at the same time. "Little inappropriate there bud."

(*"Sorry."*) Jerry responded.

"—I'm thankful she's almost born…" Marge groaned, rubbing her baby bump. Marge's bump then LURCHED FORWARD with a kick from her baby girl and actually knocked Vera's glass of red wine right into her lap, making Bullet and Artie laugh.

"Do you MIND?!" Vera angrily stared down the very pregnant squirrel.

"Sorry, she's active when she's hungry…" Marge groaned and placed her hands on her bump again, stifling a burp.

"Maybe you should cut back on the pizza…and everything else.." Vera remarked, immediately pouring herself another glass of red wine. "When I was expecting MY children, I didn't let my cravings get the better of me…"

"EX-CUH-YUSE ME?!" Marge exclaimed, attempting to stand up but could only get so far when her bump weighed her down.

"HEY! what'd you say to my lady?!" Ralph exclaimed, snorting a cloud from his nostrils, his eyebrows furrowing. Bullet and Artie now hid underneath the table, fearing for their little lives. "That is SO uncalled for, bro!"

"--Sweetie, I can handle this…" Marge spoke in a nicer tone, then bellowed back at Vera. "WELL I'M THANKFUL I'M PREGNANT, AND I MAY HAVE GOTTEN A LITTLE BIGGER, BUT AT LEAST I'VE GOT MY CRAVINGS MORE UNDER CONTROL THAN YOU YA HALF-BRAINED, WINE-ADDLED LUSH!"

"AS MARGE AND VERA GLARED AT EACH OTHER, ROCKY'S UNCLE MAGNUM SPOKE UP…"

"Pssh, I'm thankful these moose aren't part of OUR family!" Magnum chuckled.

"Oh you're one to talk, seeing as your great-grandfather was SPOONIN' WITH MY GREAT-GRANDMOTHER!" Bullwinkle's aunt, a somewhat overweight moose named Gertrude exclaimed.

"BOTH SIDES OF ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE'S FAMILIES GASPED LOUDLY."

"Whaaaat?!" Rocky and Bullwinkle exclaimed, both looking at each other.

"That's right, I HAVE EVIDENCE HERE, IN A PHOTOGRAPH DATING BACK TO 1881, YOUR GREAT-GRANDFATHER, MARTIN J. SQUIRREL, WAS...was LOVIN' IT UP! Lovin' it up with MY GREAT-GRANDMOTHER AUDREY J. MOOSE! You people SICKEN ME!"

"WHILE ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE'S FAMILIES CONTINUED TO ARGUE, UP IN THE RAFTERS LURKED A STRANGELY FAMILIAR FIGURE…"

"Da…DAAA! Ees gut, let de HATE flow through yu…" Boris laughed maliciously, rubbing his fat white hands together.

"—Boris, yu goink to quote movie or geeve me hand?!" Natasha called from behind him.

"Oh, sorry honeybun!" Boris replied, rushing over to help Natasha.

"WITHIN BORIS' HANDS HE HELD A RATHER LARGE BOMB. NATASHA CONNECTED HIM TO A ROPE AND VERY QUICKLY BEGAN TO LOWER THE LITTLE MAN DOWNWARD TOWARDS ROCKY! FORTUNATELY, AMMY JUST SO HAPPENED TO NOTICE THIS IN TIME!"

"FOXTROT UNIFORM CHARLIE KILO!" Ammy exclaimed, pointing at Boris. "BOGEY ON YOUR SIX ROCKY!"

"HEY!" Rocky exclaimed out of sheer fright.

"HOLY MACARONI! WILL ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE SURVIVE THIS SUPRISE ATTACK?! WILL BOTH OUR HEROES' FAMILIES LEARN TO GET ALONG AND HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING?! AND WHAT ABOUT THAT SECRET PHOTO?!THIS HAS MORE TWISTS THAN A PRETZEL STAND RUN BY A YOGA INSTRUCTOR! MAKE SURE TO BE WITH US AFTER THIS SHORT BREAK FOR "Pumpkin to talk about!" OR "Silence of the Yams!"!"