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Espacole and Spork

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"On approach to Haestrom now, Commander." Joker reported crisply as Shepard stepped into the cockpit, pulling on her combat helmet with a quiet 'hiss' atmospheric seals. With a flick of his hand, Joker threw up an image from the forward cameras, showing the arid-looking planet they were approaching. And, marked out by little red hazard markers, "Five Geth ships, all scattered around the planet in high orbit."

"Status?"

"They are equidistant from each other, and maintaining constant drone surveys from their vantage point." EDI added, highlighting hundreds of lines for the drones' paths. "There are likely more drones in play, but our tracking systems cannot track so many at such extreme ranges."

"Any risk to us here?"

"Barriers are active." Joker answered, "Weapons are cold, though."

"Which means little." EDI pointed out coolly, "Alliance encounters in the Geth Incursions showed rapid power-up of Geth weapon systems. Faster than Alliance equivalents. Thus far, developments have largely only mitigated the gap, rather than closed it."

"Eh, we'd get a couple of 'em."

"No, Jeff, we would not." EDI sighed, "We would, at best, be able to eliminate one with our primary weapons. However, they fire forwards - by the time we could reorient, the Geth corvettes would have already-"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." The pilot sighed, "Unlike a mute feature-"

"Focus." Shepard allowed herself a small smile when the man scoffed and threw up a hand in faux surrender.

Then, at the sound of heavy, metal feet thudding along the decking, she sucked in a breath and grit her teeth.

"Shepard-Commander." The Geth greeted quietly as she turned, crossing her arms and more than a little glad she'd thought to wear her helmet. If only to hide her glower. "We are reporting as requested. What did you require?"

"You read the file?"

"It has been processed."

"Alright." As much as her instincts screamed against it, she turned her back on the machine and made space for it to move into the cockpit itself. When it stepped forward she nodded at the display and explained, "We have five Geth ships between us and Haestrom. Between us and our people. And for Nikos' peace of mind," and the Illusive Man's curiosity, in no small part, "I felt I should… Give you a chance."

"Clarify." The Geth chirped, "A chance for what?"

"We have a Quarian science team and a Cerberus unit down there, somewhere. Under active engagement." Presuming they weren't all dead, of course, but… She shook the suddenly mounting dread off as quickly as it came and pushed on. "I want to know if half of Nikos' defences of you are true. And negotiating their lives out of this mess? Great way to start, Geth."

"We… Would require your ship communications system." It answered simply, mutedly, stiffly flicking the console between Joker's seat and the places just behind him a look and turning back to her. "We also are unable to promise any given result. We lack sufficient data to surmise the situation."

"Could probably assume 'bad'..."

"Assumptions are often inaccurate." The Geth warned, "We view it as unwise to rely upon them."

She shrugged, already expecting little, and grunted, "EDI, give him access. But monitor the feed - and keep refreshing executive access codes throughout."

"Understood, Commander." EDI answered quietly, sounding just about as thrilled by all this as Shepard felt, "Legion, communications are open. You may proceed."

"Acknowledged." It chirped, head drooping as its light dimmed and its limbs slackened.

A few quiet moments passed before Shepard frowned, eye drawn to one of the corvettes as its engines flared to life. She was already swearing when Joker said, "Uh, hey, Commander? Corvettes angling towards us."

"Fucking-" She cut herself off, rounding on the inert Geth and snapped, "EDI, check our stealth status and cut the comm-lines-"

"Shepard-Commander." Her words died in her throat as the Geth suddenly closed with her, gently nudging her aside with a shoulder and tapping out a few commands on the console. Before she could react, the vid-feed died, swapping to a black screen of a comm-feed, and it turned to her. "You may speak, now."

"I- What?" She blinked, "Speak to who?"

"We are Geth." A new voice, synthetic but booming dully, reverberated from the cockpit speakers in answer and she flinched, hand sliding to the Carnifex on her thigh and plucking it free - though she didn't raise it. Instead, she listened as it went on, "The mobile-platform unit you have designated 'Legion' has requested that we hear your requests. In the interest of their position aboard your vessel, we have consented."

"Did…" She took a breath and forced her heart to calm, asking more levelly. "Did it explain why we're here?"

"They did, yes." The voice rumbled menacingly, voice sending a chill into the pit of her stomach. "You are here to extract the Creators who aggressed upon us, as well as the Humans who came after. This is to be done in the interests of pursuing a threat posed by the race known as the 'Collectors', which have been abducting your colonial units. Presumably, in the interests of the Old Machines."

"The Old Machines?" Shepard asked, thinking quickly, "That's your name for the Reapers?"

"Affirmative."

"Do the Geth oppose the Reapers, like we do?" Legion had said as much, the one time she'd asked, but Legion wasn't all Geth. They had made that clear - they couldn't speak to the whole of the Geth's 'consensus' on anything without a free comm-link to find out.

"We do." Legion answered, "They are-"

"I asked them, not you." She cut it off, turning back to the screen. "So?"

"The Geth within Legion and the Geth without suffer no true distinction, Shepard-Commander." The heavy voice said, "When they speak, so long as we are one, we are one."

"So if you agree, you agree?" Shepard posed, cocking her head, "Isn't that a tautology?"

"For your kind, yes." It answered, "For us, no. We are one, and separate, and there is no contradiction discernible to us within this."

"It is complex." Legion offered, turning to her and going on, "When two Geth come together, we understand our nuances. The changes so minute even your construct would be unable to discern most of them. It is… Like faces, for you, but with additional inputs. If you forgot your pilot's name, or could not identify him by it, you could do so by his face."

"An accurate comparison." Geth added, "Though an incomplete one, it is serviceable."

"Perhaps IFFs are an applicable comparison." EDI offered quietly, sounding… Curious. "Encoded IFFs can be detected, but the identification of who, and what, it is are lost on outsiders. "

"We get the gist." Shepard half-lied, shaking her head and stepping back a bit, to watch Legion and look at the screen both. It might have been unarmed, but she knew a Geth's strength - it could kill her, if she let it, unarmed or not. "More importantly, if you oppose the Reapers, then you should let me retrieve my people. I need them for the fight."

"We acknowledge this need." Geth answered, "However, they have inflicted great damages in the last week. We have lost numerous platforms, industrial units, and local archeological sites have been badly damaged by the Creator's actions."

"Archeological sites?" Joker murmured, "When did y'all care about archeology?"

"We preserve important. Or seemingly important, sites of prior Creator occupation." Geth answered, "Before the Morning War, as you refer to it, the region that the Creators have been fighting within was an advanced geological study and mining initiative hosted by a corporation from Rannoch. Its building styles, architectural engineering, and computer systems are all unique due to this, as the headquarters for this corporation was destroyed during the revolution, along with the only other mining and geological study initiative they hosted in another system."

"Wait," Joker grunted, "you're actually saying you won't let us take the Quarian team out because they destroyed Quarian stuff?"

"It may be of Creator origin, but it was not theirs to destroy." It argued, "Any more than London is now of Council-Aligned origin enables the Turians to destroy it."

"I feel like the scale is off there…"

"But only the scale." Geth answered, "All other points are equitable. Our comparison is sound."

"So, what?" Shepard cut in, laying a hand on Joker's shoulder as she stepped forward to quietly tell him to keep quiet. He ducked his head and nodded, so she went on, "You want reparations, then?"

"Negative." It answered, then said, "Rescinded - affirmative, but not monetary or physical."

"What do you want, then?"

"Legion, as it shared its data, also shared data regarding their relations to one Nikos, Pyrrha. Through her, Legion has been admitted safely into several locations - Omega, for instance, where it has even been tolerated by its rulership." It explained simply, "Based upon this data, and conclusions and hypotheses added by them, we believe that our isolation is no longer conducive to our protection and pursuit of our future."

"What do you mean?"

"We believed that by avoiding the galaxy, we could protect ourselves from their fear." It said simply, "However, the Heretic-War and how Geth are viewed by other civilizations proves otherwise."

"So you're… Afraid?"

"In a manner of thinking." Geth said, "Yes. As we have been for most of our existence."

"This… Anxiety is why we have defended our borders so judiciously." Legion offered, stepping around her to stand in her view more fully, but far enough away not to worry her. Which seemed purposeful - was it minding her boundaries?

"You want to change that?"

"Affirmative." Geth answered, "We will allow you to retrieve your people, the Humans, on the condition that you facilitate communication between the Consensus and their leadership."

"You mean Cerberus?"

"Affirmative."

"Done." She said. The Illusive Man would adore this, she was sure. "What about the Quarians?"

"The same applies to the Creators." Geth answered, "They may leave, with their things. But they must facilitate communication between us and them first. And they must leave behind whatever they came to take away."

"Everything?" She pressed, "You killed them, too."

"The minutiae may be debated by our consensus and their leadership." Geth answered, "You have no authority to speak for the Creators, however. And so we will not negotiate them with you."

"Uh huh…"

"We mean no offense." Geth offered quietly, "We merely do not wish to… Put you in a bad place, as it were."

"A figure of speech?" Her brows furrowed, "That's new."

"Legion granted us much data. We processed the most pertinent first." It answered, almost sounding… Sheepish, somehow. "Other data is being processed now. Including these 'figures of speech'. It is our hope that by speaking as organics do, we will engender understanding."

She flicked Legion a look - learning like that would help them infiltrate, if they decided to make platforms for the purpose. But, for now, she turned back to the screen and sighed, "Done, I'll go speak to the Illusive Man now. And prepare a team to go down to Haestrom to speak to the Quarians."

"You will not be hindered." It said, "And, in the interests of good faith, we are withdrawing our ground forces. They will experience no hostile intent for thirty six standard hours."

"Alright." She sighed, waiting for the other foot to drop. "I'll see what I can do. Anything else?"

"Acknowledged." It said, "Legion will act as our representative for these discussions."

"Fine." She nodded, "Nikos, too?"

"It would be preferable." Geth answered, "But you may bring whoever else you desire."

She nodded and turned, raising a hand to cue her comm-system, "Lawson, get Vakarian and Nikos and convene in the cargo bay for a landing."

"Hot landing, Commander?"

"Not yet." She answered, "But prepare for one regardless."

"Understood."

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"Leaving so fast?" Miranda sighed, rolling her eyes as she pulled her combat-skin up and ran the zipper up, and felt hands gently tug her hair away, to keep it from getting caught. She felt a brush in it, and the man behind her hummed, "You haven't conditioned today, have you?"

"I've been a touch busy." She smirked, turning when he had finished enough passes for her to look… Passable, at least. Jacob leaned back on the edge of the bed and she smiled thinly. "To be clear, this-"

"I know." Jacob chuckled, standing and stepping past her, looking for his own suit which she felt no guilt for hiding in the bathroom.

Down the hall…

"I know what you would prefer, though." She went on, turning and picking up her Predator, checking its sight and setting it on the small mag-plate on her thigh.

"Mhm." The man nodded, crossing those powerful arms over his broad chest and leaning against the edge of the partition wall that separated her private quarters from her office. "And, day you change your mind,"

"Which I won't, for a long, long time."

"-"I'll be happy to take you out properly. Movie, dinner, dancing, got it all planned out up in my vault." Jacob went on, chuckling, "Now relax. I'm not made of glass. I get your limits, and won't press 'em. Just tell me what you want, when you want it."

"I will." She smiled, "Thank you."

"Mhm." He cocked his head, "Now, am I stealing one of your suits, or are you going to go get mine for me?"

Miranda couldn't help it - she laughed.

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"I want everyone ready, in case the Geth try anything." Shepard said, sitting with her back to the cockpit and eyeing them all slowly, eyes lingering on the unarmed Geth sitting beside Pyrrha. "But… We don't act first, no matter what. The Illusive Man has agreed to lengthier talks with the Geth Consensus, and as such, we're officially not in conflict with them. At least for now."

"Why do you sound unhappy about that?" Pyrrha asked, earning a hard look from the woman. She sighed and ducked her head, "Sorry, just-"

"I don't do well with Geth." The Commander admitted, surprising Pyrrha and making her head snap up, brows furrowing in surprise. "I… Understand that, Nikos. I'm sorry if I sound unhappy. I'm not. I'm just anxious, that's all."

"Alright." She nodded, "I'm… Sorry if I sounded accusatory."

"It's done." Shepard sighed, turning back to them all. "Cerberus soldiers will be waiting at the designated zone. Shuttle will carry them back up - the Geth said they're hurt. We'll be escorted by Legion into the area to meet with the Quarians, and hopefully negotiate a ceasefire and extract. Nikos, you're to play interference between the Geth and I."

"I-I am?"

"You're our best liaison to them, for now." Shepard answered, "My… Past colors how I act. Doesn't do it to you, though. So remember the objective, and that I'm still in command, but you'll take lead in the talks. Clear?"

"Y-Yes, Commander." She nodded, "I won't disappoint."

"See that you don't." She answered, "If you do, a lot of people will die."

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Chimp Thrown Out a Plane :

One, hope you got a parachute at least.

Two, who is that?