005 - Human Village | Internal Affairs

Yukari prefers to sleep than to deal with whatever this is.

"Objection! My client is not guilty. Why? Take that! *shows badge*" The defendant tried to uncover the truth, but I don't think this is how it works.

'This is me. I was just minding my own business, then suddenly, this shite happened. Do you want to know how I got here? Well, let's go back to the start. So, it's rewind time.'

⏮⏮⏮REWIND⏮⏮⏮

"Hmm, yummy food and relaxing sleep. Just what I always wanted." Yukari is lying down on her western bed, reading a book called Larry Kettle.

"Bloody hell, this is a good book, mate. Let me sip some of that tea in honor on whoever made this book because that's what they deserve." Yukari took a sip and continued to read the book where nothing could disturb her.

Until someone came crashing down at her floor through the window, which is now broken into millions of pieces.

'Bloody hell. What is with people and crashing at my house, mate?' Yukari thought as she inspected the person who crashed at her floor, which made a mess in the house.

"I beg your pardon, but can you kindly get out of my bloody house, please?" Yukari passively-aggressively said to the person who broke her window.

The person in question is wearing a magician clothes that is merged with witch clothing. Oh, and she's a ghost because she doesn't have legs. In fact, you can't see them at all.

"I- uh, sorry for intruding into your home. I'll see myself out." The ghost used the door instead of phasing through like a normal ghost to exit the large house/shrine.

Yukari glanced at the broken pieces of the window and the girl who just exited her house. "*sigh* Another day, another… mildly infuriating thing that will surely ruin my day." Yukari got up from her western bed and cleaned up the mess that the ghost made.

After cleaning, she surely thought there's no more commercials that would hinder her from her peaceful sleep, but she couldn't be further from the truth.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Bloody hell, who is it this time?" Yukari got up from her western bed once again and headed to the person outside the door. Yukari peeked through her peeping hole at the door and saw Rumia knocking.

"Bloody fantastic. What does she want now? You know… I could just pretend that I'm not home. She will never know, anyway," Yukari said, but not if Rumia is going to say anything about it.

"Yukari! I know you're home! You never leave your home unless it is once every six months!" Rumia mythbusted Yukari being not home.

'Shite. I knew I should have moved this shrine somewhere else,' Yukari thought as she slowly opened the door to see Rumia slightly angry about something. 'Why is she angry? I literally didn't do anything because I never left the house.'

"Hey Rumia, a pleasure to see you… not. What do you want from this shrine maiden?" Yukari asked, readying her boundary manipulation in case something drastic happens. Rumia on the other hand just looks at Yukari similar to a bull about to smash the red flag, very mad.

"Yukari… I need your help. NOW."

'Woah, Rumia usually shouts whenever something out of the ordinary happens. If she's quiet, then that means something serious must've happened,' Yukari logically and intellectually thought as she completely opened the door to speak to her.

"What do you need my help for, mate?" Yukari said as she took a sip from her cup that contains cyanide, horrible for a human but great for youkais.

"...I need you to be a prosecutor at the court." Rumia dropped the bomb, metaphorically.

"Sure, sure- hold up, mate. Why?" Yukari stopped drinking from her cup of dangerous contents.

"You're smart. You'll figure it out. Until then, don't be late tomorrow." Then Rumia, using her darkness ability, disappeared through her shadows.

Yukari was almost surprised. Almost, anyway. "...She didn't even tell me what time I should be going there. I'm going to have to wing it, innit?" Yukari closes the door and goes back to sipping the cyanide and continues to read Larry Kettle. 'It's great. I'll give it 420/69 amogus plushies,' Yukari rated in her own mind as she takes another sip from the beautiful tea… which is just cyanide to be honest.

Tomorrow has finally arrived.

Yukari is cartwheeling to the front of the human village, but two guards stopped her from entering.

"Excuse me gentlemen, but I'm needed inside for I am the prosecutor," Yukari stated as she showed her badge when Rumia accidentally dropped it during the time she was leaving through the floor by using her darkness ability.

One of the guards looked at the badge in order to confirm if she really is the prosecutor. "*intensely scanned the prosecutor badge* You're good to go, miss."

Yukari nodded and entered the human village after being let in by the two guards.

The human village is what you would expect from a medieval village. It ain't modern, but Yukari didn't mind it because back then, she was living off of scraps. Yukari looked at you readers and said, "The age from the personae dramatis is not the truth." Then goes back to walking towards the building which is where the fate of the client is held.

"What time is it now? *looks at the expensive watch that she legally bought with her own money* …Yup, it's 10:23 am. I think that's the usual time when the court happens. I read and watch enough news from the internet to know what's going on." While Yukari is talking to literally nothing but air, the people around her steered clear away from her, thinking that she's a psychopath who speaks to walls.

Yukari has time to horse around, and by that, gather information. 'It has been awhile since I've been in the human village. It wouldn't hurt to take a look around and see if anything changed,' she thought as she already got to inspect some of the buildings.

"Buildings, more buildings, more average buildings that have that medievalesque theme to it. It didn't change much from back then. Bloody hell, even a caveman can build better buildings than these bozos." Yukari continued sightseeing the area until the seven minutes were up.

"Ah, I guess it's time." Yukari went to the building that's called "Court."

"How original. Next time, how about you guys just let a rock name your important buildings, mate?" After Yukari gives her suggestion, clearly Yukari is just poking fun at their naming convention, she enters the court and sees that everyone is already in place.

Yukari saw an empty seat on the left side, it's clearly where the prosecutor sits, and the right side is where the defendant sits.

The people bicker amongst(oh my gawd, it's amogus!) themselves until the judge said, "Order! Order! I said order!"

Then one of the people said, "I'll have two number nines, a number nine large, a number six with extra dip, a number seven, two number forty fives, one with cheese, and large soda."

"This isn't a restaurant! I'll judge you for every burger you eat!" The judge judged the person who said the two number nines thing.

'Bloody hell mate, what am I doing here? What do I get out of this again? Nothing. Nada. Zilch. But I suppose solving this problem can earn me a brownie point of the people here,' Yukari thought, quietly watching the people fight amongst(oh my gawd, it's another amogus reference!) themselves.

After a while, everyone went silent as the large pair of brown doors opened. It is the person who will be judged for their crimes that they probably haven't committed.

"Bloody fantastic. He's here." And with him is the defendant. Wait, that defendant looks kinda dumb. 'Agreed,' Yukari agreed to literally no one.

"Objection!" The defendant yelled, not even knowing that it still hadn't started.

"Defendant, we haven't even started yet." The judge fixed his hammer of justice into its rightful place.

"Well, I just like to say the word, you know?" The defendant scratched his head in a stupidly manner.

Yukari thought to herself, 'Hmm, the defendant is gonna lose. One hundred percent, I'm sure.'

Hours later, the defendant is clearly losing to my multitudinous amount of knowledge.

▶️▶️▶️Present▶️▶️▶️

'And now we're back here.'

"Objection! I know my badge can prove my client is innocent. I'm pretty sure he didn't kill his wife, his three sons, and his two daughters by stabbing them with a knife in broad daylight. There's no proof of it!"

Yeah… no. Sorry mate, but I'm pretty sure everyone at the village center saw it. If they didn't, they either don't care or are just dumbasses.

I looked at the judge and the judge looked at me. We both nodded because we now know what we're going to do.

"The final verdict is…"

'Here it comes,' Yukari thought as she knows she won because the defendant is pretty much dumb.

"GUILTY!"

Yukari breathes a sigh of relief because she can now peacefully sleep.

"Dismissed," the judge said, everyone stood up and exited the courtroom. Yukari left the room and headed into town to buy food. She might as well grab some bite before she leaves the human village.

After walking for half an hour, Yukari saw a grilled lamprey stall. She went over there to see a night sparrow cooking some lampreys for the other customers. The vendor saw Yukari after she finished cooking the lampreys.

"Hey, what are your orders, miss?"

Yukari looked at the sign that had the food written there. "I'll take two lampreys, please."

"Grilled?" Yukari raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. Grilled." The vendor nodded and got to cooking the two lampreys. After seven minutes have passed, the lampreys are now grilled. The vendor gave them to her. Yukari said, "I didn't catch your name. My name is Yukari Hakurei. What's yours?"

"Nun."

"What? Is that your name?"

"Nunya of your business." Yukari just shrugged and left. She thought that the woman was probably having a bad day. Yukari reached the exit of the village and waved and said goodbye to the two guards. They returned the gesture.

"Hmm, today's humans are much more tolerable to youkais than in the past. In the past, if they saw a youkai, they would immediately exterminate it. But now, they just let it enter the village and set up shop. Anyway, western bed, here I come."

Yukari made her way to the large house, which is a shrine, and opened the door just to see her western bed gone.

"...MY WESTERN BED…" Yukari turned into an eldritch cosmic horror as she saw what happened here. "...IS STOLEN BY SOMEONE…" Yukari isn't too happy that someone stole her bed. If they literally stole items other than her bed, she would be fine with it, but never ever mess with her western bed. That's the only thing that comforts Yukari because it lets her sleep.

"...WHOEVER STOLE IT, THEY WILL PAY WITH THEIR TAXES…" Yukari dropped her ultimatum as she stored her grilled lamprey first before it got rotten and left the house to find the thief.

If looks can kill, then they would die instantly if they saw Yukari. Literally, they would die by just looking at her because she can manipulate boundaries which makes her powerful and dangerous. But, the good thing is she's on the good side, but for the evil side, well… they're pretty much dead at this point.

"...I'M GOING TO PLAN A MACHINATION SO DEVIOUS AND CONVOLUTED, THE PERSON WISH THEY WERE NEVER BORN…"

After she said that, something came out of the shrine.

"M-Miss Yukari, what a-are you doing?" A komainu youkai that has cat-like features all over her body is terrified of Yukari and her other forms.

Yukari saw the youkai. The youkai flinched at Yukari's gaze upon her.

"...DON'T WORRY, CHEN KOMANO. IT'S NOTHING YOU SHOULD WORRY ABOUT. NOW, GO BACK TO GUARDING THE SHRINE. I'LL BE BACK LATER…"

The komainu youkai, who is now called Chen Komano, nodded and hurried back to the shrine.

Yukari took her first step out of the shrine.

"...AND NOW… LET US BEGIN THE HUNT…"