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 blog/geraltdaddy

Rubbing the bleariness from my eyes, I mustered up what strength I could to lift myself from bed. The joints in my body groaned as my arms buckled beneath me, succumbing to the tenderness that radiated from my shoulder. Discomfort pulsated from my wounds acting as an all too painful reminder of what happened last night. Finally accepting defeat, my head sank into the plush pillow as I took a moment to sort through last night's confusion. The stillness of the morning air grew suffocating as the burden of loss and regret seeped through the cracks in my room, soaking into the threads of the cotton comforter that laid draped across me until my vision faded. At the edge of the darkness I could see Vicki and her blood-stricken eyes fixated upon me. She took slow, calculated steps forward until the crimson blood that dripped from her fangs came into view. Her movement stilled right alongside my heartbeat… she lunged forward out of the darkness.

I shrieked as the now shadowy figure loomed over me, gripping my arms tightly. The eyes that looked back at me were no longer tainted with pools of red, but were instead replaced by a honey brown that soothed my nerves. Elena's face came into view above me, her eyes filled with concern as she shook me from my trance. Silence once again consumed the air around us before Elena collapsed on me, pulling my arms around her as she sobbed into my chest. The reality was… Vicki was gone… and although we didn't hold the stake, we played our part.

Elena helped me change my blood-soaked bandages while she caught me up to speed on the plan she put together for the upcoming police questioning. Liz Forbes, the town sheriff, called this morning asking for Elena, Jeremy and me to come down to the station and answer some questions. I threw on an oversized hoodie as an attempt to cover up any evidence from the night before, wincing at the pain caused from the fabric brushing against my wounds.

"Do I look fine?" I muttered to Elena, second guessing my desire to know the answer.

"Not great, but it'll do. Just try not to move too much, you look absurd."

Letting out a soft chuckle, I nodded and followed her out of my room and down the stairs. Jeremy sat on the couch waiting for us, smiling as we entered his view. My gaze lingered on him causing my heart to plunge into my stomach... He might have been smiling at me, but the smile was rooted in a false reality created outside of his control … and I couldn't ignore that. With all the strength I had, I feigned a smile, praying that for at least one day I could give Jeremy what he needed.

–

We arrived at the station and Jeremy volunteered to speak with Liz first. He was oddly optimistic as a result of Damon's compulsion, telling Liz about Vicki's ambitions about leaving town and starting a new life. He eventually emerged from her office, smiling before he made his way to the door. Propping it open, he yelled over his shoulder, "I'll see you both at home! Gonna grab a bite."

My eyes sank to the floor as another pang of guilt rippled across my wounds. Jeremy was happy, but at what cost? It felt right in the moment, but now the idea of taking away his understanding of reality made me sick. Were Elena and I supposed to turn a blind eye to Vicki's death and nod along to his altered reality? I winced as Elena nudged my side, "Rae, your turn."

Glancing back at the office, I spotted Liz leaning against the doorway, weariness filling her muted blue eyes as she motioned me towards her office. Despite the painful start, Elena and I both successfully answered Liz's questions and made our way outside. Once we exited the building, a sudden wave of dizziness hit me as I noticed Stefan pacing at the bottom of the steps. My breath caught in my throat and our eyes locked. Pushing me forward Elena whispered, "I'll talk to him, wait for me in the car."

I acted before she could regret her decision and shuffled down the stairs, heading straight to the car without risking a glance in Stefan's direction. I could feel the weight of Stefan's gaze as I passed by, waiting for me to give him a chance. I quickly pulled open the passenger door and stumbled into my seat. Elena walked slowly down the steps and cautiously approached Stefan. Unable to watch, I dipped my head into my hands and focused on the specks of dirt that littered the mats beneath my feet.

–

My nerves calmed as we were able to bask in a brief moment of normalcy together at home. Elena, Jenna and I laid sprawled out on the living room sofa watching television, paying no mind to the fact that we spent the better half of a day at the police station. Jenna nudged Elena, "You're wallowing."

Elena frowned, "So are you."

Jenna retorted, "My wallow is legitimate. I was dumped."

I groaned, irritable from my understandable body discomfort and their lack of consideration as they spoke over the show, "Can we not do this right now?"

The two of them glared at me before Jenna tossed a pillow at me and continued, "Logan sent me a brush-off email that said: 'I'm leaving town. See ya.'"

Jeremy interrupted, "Can you guys keep it down over there? I'm trying to do my homework."

The three of us stared at each other in shock, was Jeremy actually doing his homework? A week ago he wouldn't be caught dead putting any effort into school and now he was studying voluntarily… on the weekend. Elena joked under her breath, "What do you guys think? Alien?"

I smirked, "Yeah, there's no way that's him."

Jenna added, "Some sort of replicant maybe?"

He rolled his eyes, "He can hear you."

We laughed and turned back around. Letting out a soft sigh, I sunk into the couch and leaned my head against Elena's shoulder. Maybe Jeremy being happy isn't the worst thing.

–

Dear Diary,

Things have been a mess. Last night I watched as an old friend of mine had her life taken right infront of me and I sat aside while a vampire altered my brother's memories. The worst part about all of it? I was helpless. I acted as a mere bystander watching the light leave Vicki's eyes or Damon stripping away Jeremy's choice. What kind of person have I become? This isn't the person my Father raised me to be. He always urged me to protect those around me, but lately I've taken part in inflicting pain. At the end of it all, despite everything that has happened, I can't seem to bring myself to hate the people responsible. I should hate him… them… for bringing such darkness to Mystic Falls… but I can't.

My pen strokes came to an abrupt halt as Bonnie and Elena barged through my bedroom door, beaming with excitement. Slamming my diary shut, I clutched it against my chest and burrowed deeper into the couch praying that I could somehow sink low enough to cover up the redness that spread throughout my cheeks. The two seemed to pay no mind to my flustered state as Elena hopped onto my bed, tucking her feet underneath her while Bonnie closed the door. She stepped closer to the bed before ripping a pillow open and tossing some feathers she gathered onto the blanket. My brow arched as I dared to question her behavior, "Um… Bonnie? Why are you destroying my pillow?"

Elena responded, "She insisted she needed to show us something."

Bonnie smiled warmly, flitting her gaze between the two of us, "Yes, I need you both to see this. But please promise me you won't tell anyone, it's supposed to be a secret."

Elena and I both nodded, "We promise."

Bonnie continued, "Okay, there's no windows open right? No fans? No air conditioning?"

Elena furrowed her brow, "I mean obviously. Bonnie, what are you doing?"

She climbed onto the bed and settled down next to the pile of feathers. Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear she grinned, "Grams showed me this. You're both going to love it, just watch."

From the sofa I sat and observed Bonnie as she held out her hands and focused on the pile of snowy feathers that rested delicately on the bed. Several seconds passed before a feather lifted itself from the pile and into the air. Both Elena and I looked at one another, faces filled with shock and wonder. We watched as Bonnie took a deep breath before the entire pile began to levitate, floating around as they filled the empty space above the bed like a beautiful snowfall.

Bonnie touched Elena's hand, "It's true Elena. Everything my Grams told me. It's impossible and it's true. I'm a witch."

Elena laughed in bewilderment, "I believe you, Bonnie."

Bonnie squeezed her hand before shifting her weight towards me, "We knew something was up, and we were right! We were actually right." She turned back towards Elena before continuing, "It's weird huh? After all the time we spent joking about being psychic, I really am a witch. You don't think I'm a freak now, do you?"

Elena quickly shook her head in denial, "No of course not, Bonnie. I just...don't understand though. If your Grams asked you to keep all this a secret, why did you tell us?"

Lifting herself up from the bed, Bonnie grabbed her bag, "You are my best friends. I can't keep secrets from you guys! Sorry I have to run already though, Grams needs me home for dinner."

She sent us off with one final smile before she skipped out of my bedroom. Elena looked at me, sinking into the bed with a disappointed look on her face, "I feel awful that we can't tell Bonnie."

My jaw tightened as the same guilt Elena felt echoed through me, "Maybe you should ask Stefan if we could? He might understand."

She slid herself lazily off the bed and made her way out of my room, "You're right, I guess it doesn't hurt to ask."

–

Later that night I soaked in the bath watching as the bubbles and warm water rippled across my skin. I finally got a chance to breathe after Elena had returned home whining on and on about some blond in a towel that was there to see Stefan, failing miserably to cover up the blatant jealousy she was feeling. Selfishly I was thankful that Elena wasn't in the best mood because I needed the night to recover, but my victory was of course short-lived. Three solid knocks sounded throughout the house, followed by Elena's footsteps coming up the stairs before she stopped at my door and yelled, "Rae can I come in?"

Letting out a sigh I responded, "Yeah, one second!"

I reluctantly grabbed a towel from the rack, drying myself off as quickly as I could before wrapping it around me. Elena's impatience won out and she opened my bedroom door, pacing quickly over to the bathroom entrance. She stopped and leaned against the door while she avoided eye contact, "I know what I said earlier, but could you come out with me tonight? There's a party at the grill and Stefan will be there."

Gently touching the wounded part of my shoulder I winced and groaned, "Do I have to? I'm not in the best shape and just want a night to rest. Also, weren't you mad at Stefan?"

She clutched my hand begging, "I know, I know. Stefan just stopped by and explained everything to me. She is apparently a long time friend of his, Lexi, and she's here to celebrate his birthday. It's his birthday tonight, I have to go."

My eyes closed as my hands lifted, rubbing my fingers gently against my temples, "Another vampire I'm guessing?" I exhaled and looked into her pleading eyes, "Fine! But you owe me one, El. You really gotta start going to these things on your own. I need time to process my own issues, too."

She squealed as she jumped forward to hug me, my body stiffening in response to her careless squeeze, "I'll pamper you when we get home! Whatever you want!"

The corner of my mouth twitched in response to the giddiness in her voice.

–

Elena and I arrived at the Mystic Grill together but it didn't take long for her to sneak off and find a perch to observe Stefan and his friend Lexi from afar. It was impossible not to notice her watching the two friends as they played pool together, presumably waiting until she had the courage to approach them. Looking around, I searched for a place to sit away from the crowd, eventually my eyes landing on an open spot at the bar. There was an empty stool right next to a beautiful blonde head of hair hunched over what looked like a whiskey sour.

It was admittedly the first time I had seen Caroline since the Founder's party, but something told me she needed someone to talk to tonight. I slowly approached the bar and grabbed the stool next to her, carefully slipping between her and the seat. Once settled into the seat, her head tilted to the side just enough for me to catch a glimpse of her soft doe eyes peering through her disheveled hair.

She sat back against the hardwood of her stool, pushing her bangs messily behind her ear, "Hey…"

I half-smiled, "Hey Care…Are you okay? It's been a while…"

She stuck her bottom lip out into a pout, "Not really… But you're right. After hearing what you did for me at the party, I've been wanting to say sorry… but the more time that passed the harder it got to -"

Placing her hand cautiously on her wrist, I interrupted, "Stop Caroline, you don't need to apologize… seriously. Let's focus on you. What's wrong?"

"Well, I let Damon get under my skin again… he asked me to help him get some necklace from Bonnie that he dropped the night of the party, but I told him no and he flipped out…"

My face softened into a sympathetic frown, "Caroline, you don't have to feel bad about that. You don't owe Damon anything and he should respect that you don't want to do it."

A tear rolled down her cheek as she smiled for the first time, "Thanks, Rae. I missed you so much. I…. I'm not shallow right?"

With no time to answer, her face twisted into a scowl, looking at someone behind me, "You."

That single word was laced with such venom that it was impossible not to guess who had approached us unwelcome. Locks of black hair appeared in my peripherals as he slid into the seat next to me, "Oh come on, you're still upset about earlier?"

Caroline flashed me a look of disappointment before standing up, the stool screeching across the hardwood flooring, "Of course I am!"

She stormed off while Damon half-heartedly yelled out over his shoulder, "Caroline! Oh no, don't go! How will I ever go on?"

He laughed under his breath before turning his attention back to me, his enticing blue eyes freezing me in place, "So… shouldn't you be at home tending to your injuries?"

I let out an involuntary sigh, "Trust me, I'd rather not be here. What about you? Shouldn't you be apologizing to Caroline?"

He flagged down the bartender, never taking his eyes off of mine, "I mean I could… or I could spend my time sitting here talking to you."

Without a word the bartender presented two glasses of bourbon. Damon grabbed both of the glasses before sliding one towards me. Swallowing my irritation, I reached out and flicked the glass away, "I'll pass."

His eyes twinkled as he took some time to ponder my reaction, "What's wrong? Can't enjoy a drink with the man that saved you?"

For a moment the room went silent and everything faded into the background. He saved me. Damon was the reason I was still breathing, but I could hardly look him in the eyes. He did what he had to do… it just happened to be the thing that broke me. My emotions officially spiraled into a war with one another, unsure of which feeling towards him would be triumphant.

The sound of someone clearing their throat took me from my thoughts as Damon tilted his head towards me, his brow arched in confusion. Taking a final swig of his drink, his tongue traced his lips as he leaned forward against the counter, "What's up with you? You're different."

The directness of his question caught me off-guard causing me to stumble over my thoughts, "Nothing, I'm just -."

"Don't do that."

His glare dug deeper and deeper as he waited for my thoughts to carry on. My eyes dropped to the counter until the movement of his hand caught my attention, "What is that ring you're wearing? It's a bit unusual."

He touched the gaudy silver ring and spun it around his finger, "Alright, I'll ignore that you're avoiding me again. This ring is what keeps me walking in the sunlight, it's a family heirloom."

Before I could respond, Elena tapped my shoulder, "Have you seen Bonnie? She's supposed to come back with us, but she's nowhere to be found."

Discomfort welled within my stomach, "That's not like her… Do you know where she could have gone? You said she's been having visions, right?"

"Do you really think that has something to do with why she's missing? She did say something about a church that burned down earlier today."

Without another word Damon stood up from his seat and pivoted towards the door. It didn't take long for me to realize where he was going, thanks to Caroline's comment at the bar. "Elena, get Stefan and Lexi, I'll keep track of Damon."

With panic in her voice she responded, "What do you mean, Rae? What's going on?"

"We don't have time, Elena. Just go get Stefan and tell him about the church. We'll meet you there."

As I pushed through the crowd, memories of the night of the Founder's party flooded my thoughts. A familiar fear rippled through my veins, fueling my focus and temporarily suppressing any body aches I had. The door swung open and the brisk night air whipped against my face. Damon was already at the edge of the street standing before his car.

I broke into a jog before yelling into the night, "Damon"

It felt like my words were swallowed up by the thinness of the air stretching every note til it vanished, but he stopped. He turned to look over his shoulder at me, a glint of annoyance across his features, "What?"

"I know you're going after Bonnie and I want to go with you."

Unamused, his eyes darkened, "Why? You could hardly look at me, and now you want to go with me? What changed? After last night I thought we were past things, but tonight you're back to icing me out! What am I supposed to do here, Rhea? What do you want me to do?"

The weight of his words hung in the air, stinging me with every syllable. I pulled the sleeves of my jacket over my hands, gulping down my fears before I looked up at him, "I don't know, Damon. Do you think I want to feel this way all the time? How am I supposed to be the day after watching my friend lose their life right in front of me… Because of me. And you're a vampire. I should hate you. You've hurt people. You've hurt me. But then every time I see you…"

A tear fell from my eye, warming my skin as it descended down my cheek. Damon's jaw tightened, the muscles in his cheek feathered beneath his skin. My face flushed as I felt his thumb brush against my cheek, wiping away my liquified pain. I continued, "I want to hate you, everything would be so much easier… but I can't. Every time I think I have you figured out you go and prove me wrong. So please, Damon, prove me wrong tonight."

His face relaxed into a soft smile as he placed his hand on the small of my back, guiding me around the car to the passenger's door before helping me in. Once seated, my head fell back against the headrest as I looked out at the dimly lit street, unaware of what was to come.

–

Damon and I rushed through the brush surrounding Fell's Church until we saw Bonnie standing alone in a dirt clearing. She was quietly mumbling words I couldn't understand while gripping a necklace tightly between her hands. Bonnie paused and looked up, locking eyes with Damon. In an unrecognizable voice she commanded, "It must be destroyed."

Damon took a step toward Bonnie, reaching his hands out slowly, "Emily, don't do this. We had a deal."

Emily? Is Bonnie… Emily? Bonnie retorted, "Things are different now. I need to protect my family."

"I already protected your family," Damon hissed.

"I know, I'm sorry."

Damon lunged towards Bonnie, "I'll make you regret this!"

Suddenly Damon was launched backwards into a tree by some unknown force. A large wooden branch impaled Damon's, leaving him pinned in place. I cried out, "Damon!"

Stefan emerged from the forest, instantly running to Damon's side. Lexi and Elena appeared next to me, Elena wrapping her arms around me. The disturbing voice continued within Bonnie, "This town doesn't deserve this. They should never have to know such evil. I won't let you unleash them into this world."

Stefan finished pulling Damon off the exposed branch before turning to look at Bonnie, "Them? What does she mean 'them' Damon? You only mentioned her. Emily, what did you do?"

Bonnie retreated backwards toward the center of the open field. My eyes dropped to the floor at her feet, noticing the etched lines in the dirt in the shape of a pentagram around her. "Bonnie…" I muttered under my breath.

"To save her, I had to save them. With one, comes all."

Stefan's eyebrows furrowed as he growled, "I knew I shouldn't have believed a single word that came out of your mouth. This isn't about love, is it? It's about revenge. The people here now are not the same people that hurt us all those years ago, Damon."

Damon scoffed as he wiped the blood from the corners of his mouth, "How do you know? They killed twenty seven people and covered it up, this town deserves what they get."

Damon's eyes flicked towards Elena and I which did not go unnoticed by Stefan. Stefan stepped towards us as he continued, "Twenty seven vampires Damon. You're blaming innocent people for something that happened 145 years ago."

"Innocent? They're still covering up deaths! There is nothing innocent about these people. They already know about us and will kill us and the witch the moment they sniff us out."

Damon stood up and brushed the dirt off of his clothes, "Give me the necklace, Emily, I just want Katherine."

Chaos unfolded as the circle around Bonnie was set ablaze, protecting her from the beasts around her. With one final look at Damon, Bonnie responded decisively, "I can't free them, I won't." Clutching the necklace, Bonnie tossed it in the air and yelled, "Incendia!"

Damon cried out as the necklace burst into pieces in the air, shattering his hopes of saving Katherine with it. Amidst the dysphoria all the information began clicking into place. Damon had been in Mystic Falls for Katherine all along… not me, not Stefan… her. While part of me wanted to be angry with him for hiding things from me, I also understood. He had waited 145 years to get things right and yet the thing he wanted most was ripped away from him forever.

My eyes fixated on Damon as his face showcased a wide range of emotions; pain, sorrow, and anger. As the flames surrounding Bonnie died down, the anger in Damon's eyes continued to flourish. Without a chance to react, Damon lunged toward Bonnie with his fangs exposed and his eyes filled with darkness. He raised his hand in the air, holding the branch that had impaled him tight within his grasp. A high pitch scream echoed across the clearing.

Elena cried, "Bonnie!"

My heart stopped upon realizing that Lexi stood before Damon, the branch protruding from her body as she fought to keep it from breaching any deeper. Bonnie stood frozen and confused behind her, visibly shaking as she saw Damon's current state just over Lexi's shoulder.

"Damon," I coughed out. He stood his ground, pressing down on the piece of wood as Lexi fought to keep it from reaching her heart. I took a step towards him, "Damon... Please…"

Prove me wrong. The words looped through my head as I watched Damon, unmoving. His grip loosened until eventually his hands fell to his sides and he dropped to his knees, staring emptily at the ground beneath him. Stefan rushed to Lexi's side and helped pull the large piece of cedar out of her chest. Bonnie ran towards Elena, crying as she threw her arms around her. Elena comforted her, "I know Bonnie, I know. I'll explain everything okay?"

Elena glanced in my direction as I motioned her away. She nodded and checked Stefan one last time before guiding Bonnie towards the car. Damon remained on his knees, hunched forward as he stared off into the distance. Stefan and Lexi began walking towards me, "You have to let her go, Damon."

Damon shook his head, "Katherine never compelled me. I knew everything. I was informed every step of the way. It might not have been real for you, but it was real for me. You got what you wanted, I'll leave."

I watched Stefan as he hung his head in disappointment over his brother's words. It was painfully clear that Katherine might have been a villain in Stefan's story, but she was more than that to Damon. Lexi rubbed Stefans arm, comforting him as they continued towards the direction Elena and Bonnie had gone. Lexi looked at me as she passed, whispering, "Thank you."

Damon remained silent… broken. I slowly approached him, the sound of rocks shifting beneath my feet were amplified in the suffocating silence. Damon's eyes remained fixated on the emptiness in front of him as I kneeled before him. For the first time, Damon needed me… and I owed it to him for saving me. Gently, I reached out, cupping his face in my hands, "We'll find another way. I don't know how, but we will."

His eyes that were naturally so full of life looked back at me with nothing but empty sorrow, "It's too late."

Nudging closer to him, I pulled his head against my chest, "It could be, but you're not in this alone. Not anymore. We'll find her."

My fingers brushed through his disheveled hair as I comforted him... Two broken souls brought together by heartbreak and loss, and tonight… he needed me.