I've always thought I was a great communicator. My highschool and college essays can attest to that according to my teachers. My parents would say that they've never not known how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking. My friends came to me for advice, so sure that I would shoot them straight while being mindful of their feelings. I'm easy to understand even if I might be hard to read sometimes. Well, at least according to Paul I can be hard to read. But this…this is new territory. I've never left something unsaid and opted for something physical to work out an issue rather than talk it through. But this last month or so has got me thinking—maybe I don't need to say anything at all.
July's heat did nothing to slow down the month. It passed in a whirlwind for Maya, tangled and sweaty and persistent in Paul's grasp. Maya didn't think she'd ever had so much sex in her entire time with Paul combined compared to this last month or so. He was everywhere all of the time and she honestly preferred it to the silent distant thing they were doing before.
The intensity of the pack's rounds had finally died down after Becks had had Ephriam. Jacob was more willing to work with the Cullens after he understood their intentions and the help was welcomed by all. They were more effectively able to scout the perimeter with the Cullens' help and gain insight into the goings-on of the Volturi with a quick call to Alice Cullen.
Relaxed rounds meant a more relaxed Paul. Maya was able to move about the reservation as she pleased without a chaperone and Paul resumed his trips to Seattle for client work. Things were almost back to normal. Almost.
Paul and Maya had refused to talk about anything related to their most recent fight—the one where Paul said she had to stay on rez next semester. Maya thought maybe he had let it go or wrote it off as a heat of the moment kind of thing and was hoping she would forget. But, he'd continued to make the odd comment at pack dinners like: "We'll be able to run baby interference at the bonfire this fall." and "Did Keye have to stay in the dorms her first semester at UW?"
Maya would raise an eyebrow but not pursue the questions further than their answers given from their intended recipient. The statements were just vague enough that he might have been speaking for only himself or out of curiosity, but something gnawed at Maya—the unresolved conflict squatting in her belly and rearing its ugly head every once in a while.
That horrible feeling would temporarily evaporate however whenever she and Paul found themselves alone. The silence would hang in the air between them, Maya would put her pen down after revising yet another internship application, and Paul would cross the room, or pull the car over, or hoist her up onto the counter and clear her mind of any little thing she was thinking about. He had an uncanny ability to do that and Maya felt herself craving the connection of the imprint more and more. As if at any moment that good feeling would run out. Maya was aware that there was indeed a clock ticking down on their time to have the conversation, but right now she couldn't bring herself to say anything.
"So…seems like you two are back to normal," Becks said one late August afternoon as she sat leaned up against the headboard while breastfeeding Ephriam. Maya was laying on her stomach across the massive bed after finishing putting away a massive amount of laundry in Becks' room.
"Mmm," Maya replied noncommittally, hoping the afternoon storm promised would arrive and lull her off to sleep. She could feel Becks' eyes on her but Maya refused to make eye contact. Were they back to normal? No. But this was better than whatever was happening before. They were…going in circles, avoiding the thing they dreaded most.
"Are you staying then?" Becks asked. If Maya didn't know any better, she'd think there was a hint of hope in her voice. She finally folded her arms under her chin and looked up at Becks. Ephriam was sucking away contentedly, his eyes closed as he drifted off toward sleep and Becks looked like the picture of happiness. Maya sighed.
"You know I can't," she finally said after a long pause. Becks nodded somewhat sad and then forced a smile.
"I know. But Paul is going to be—," Becks started.
"Paul will be fine," Maya said quickly, hoping to shut down the conversation. She realized she wasn't ready to have this conversation, not even with Becks. The thought of what might happen when she actually left for Columbia in a few short weeks was too nerve wracking to even think about.
"Maya," Becks said in that soft, comforting mothering tone she'd always had but had just recently fully leaned into. Maya groaned in response. "Fine, we won't talk about it."
"Thank you," she sighed in relief, closing her eyes again.
"Kim's pregnant," Becks blurted out. Maya's eyes snapped open and she pushed herself up onto her knees.
"What?!" Maya nearly screeched. Becks quickly cupped her hand over Ephriam's ear and winced. "Sorry," Maya whispered. "What the fuck? When did that happen?"
"She just told me a couple of days ago. They're waiting until the next pack dinner to announce it. But I couldn't keep it to myself any longer," Becks was trying to contain her excitement and Maya was trying to quell her dread.
"I thought she was on birth control? And how has Jared not fucking spilled the beans yet?" Maya continued whispering.
"He told Jacob when Kim told me and so Jacob decided to give him some time off of rounds to be with Kim," Becks shifted Ephriam in her arms and he started suckling with fervor in response. "As far as the birth control thing goes, I had no idea they were trying to get pregnant. Or when Kim got off of birth control. But…she seems really happy."
"So do you," Maya couldn't help pointing out. Becks pulled a face, a cool 'So what?' look that Maya rolled her eyes at.
"I think Sadie might be too," Becks whispered almost conspiratorially.
"WHAT?!" Maya full blown shouted in surprise. Ephriam squeezed his eyes tight and started to fuss. She immediately felt bad as Becks curled her body over Ephriam, swapping him over to her other breast and attempting to rock and soothe him back toward sleep. "Fuck, I'm sorry." Maya whispered. Becks shook her head, waving her off.
"It's fine," Becks whispered back, her eyes glued to her son. She smiled warmly as he calmed and returned to feeding. "I have no proof—just a feeling. They're moving the wedding up by a few months and Seth's been…more sentimental with Ephy lately. It's probably nothing and maybe it's just me selfishly hoping everyone gets baby fever so that it's not just me and Emily in the trenches," she joked. Maya swallowed hard and backed off of the bed. "It's just a joke, My." Becks said seeing the look on Maya's face.
"Yeah, I know," she replied, her voice a little higher pitched than normal. She tried to straighten out the soft knit blanket across the bed to busy herself, wanting to suddenly be anywhere but here. She'd never heard Becks talk like this before and while she knew it was all in good fun, she started to feel like they were well and truly on different paths now. Jacob suddenly entered the room, his large frame taking up so much space even in the expanse of the large owner's suite.
"Everything okay up here?" Jacob asked, as he strode over to Becks with a warm, satisfied expression on his face. He leaned down to kiss her and then kiss the top of Ephriam's head gently.
"Fine, Maya's just a little shocked by my hot mom gossip," Becks giggled and Jacob immediately lit up at the sound.
"You are a hot mom," he joked and Becks rolled her eyes, even though her face brightened with pleasure at the compliment.
"That's not what I—," she laughed as Jacob nuzzled into her neck and kissed her bare shoulder. "I told Maya about Kim and my suspicions about Sadie." Jacob pulled back and let out a laugh.
"Oh that," Jacob replied, looking over his shoulder at Maya for the first time. "Yeah, you better clear out of here soon or else you'll catch it too." Maya groaned and shook her head.
"You guys are gross," she turned on her heel and walked toward the door. Jacob and Becks were laughing together as Maya retreated but before she went to shut the door behind her, she watched as Jacob stroked Becks' cheek and said something low under his breath. Maya couldn't hear him but whatever he'd said had made Becks simply melt as she leaned into his hand and glanced down at their son. Maya closed the door just as their lips softly met one anothers in the low afternoon light of the room.
Maya leaned back on her hands and threw her head back in an audible gasp. She could feel the coil tightening in her belly, one that promised to melt and offer her delicious release as Paul lapped at her.
She had wandered into his workshop that morning in her bikini and some shorts to tell him she was heading down to the beach to read and relax for a couple of hours. But she had been…delayed when Paul had beckoned her closer and snatched her up onto his work bench. The triangles of her bikini top had been pushed to the side to expose her breasts and Paul had ripped her shorts off and pushed aside the bottoms of her bikini so he could access her heat. Maya moaned as Paul sunk one finger, quickly followed by another into her core as he sucked at the bead of her clit. The constant ache that called out for him started to pulse and grow in her belly and Maya's breath came quick and fast. He twisted his fingers and hooked up, hitting a particularly sensitive spot that he knew so well within her.
Maya's hand dropped to his head as she took a fistful of his hair and held him impossibly closer. He was slurping and pulling at her lips, pressing his tongue flat and groaning hard as she soaked his face. Paul squeezed her thigh with his other hand and Maya felt herself spiral toward release, her legs shaking around his head and over his shoulders. He drank every bit of it down and slowly removed his fingers as he stood up. Paul palmed at his erection as he watched Maya slowly come back down to Earth toward him.
He leaned forward and pressed his warm lips to hers letting her taste herself. Maya savored this feeling of relief. The jingling of his belt buckle brought Maya back to her senses as he pulled his jeans down below his hips and began lining himself up with her center. Paul gripped her hips and slid her slightly forward and Maya's eyes flickered up to Paul's face which was shaped in hungry concentration.
"Um," Maya said. Paul glanced at her, his cock slipping through her folds and spreading her slick across his tip.
"What? You okay?" he said, suddenly concerned. His other hand was holding onto the back of her neck to steady her in the position he had arranged her in.
"Yeah, um, maybe we could," Maya sucked in a sharp breath before looking down at him again hovering over her entrance. "Maybe we could use a condom?" she asked hesitantly.
"A condom?" he asked, confused. Maya nodded slowly and Paul tilted his head, the confusion still apparent in his furrowed brow, "Why would we wear a condom when—" something dawned on him and his eyes grew wide, "Are you not on birth control anymore?" he asked, his voice thick with heat as a dark glint came over his eyes.
""No! I am, I absolutely am," Maya rushed to say. She felt caught, like Little Red Riding Hood in the wolf's grasp. He shifted closer, the head of his cock pressing and tentatively stretching her opening, "Ah!" she looked down between them and then back up at Paul hurriedly, "I just want to be…extra careful because…" Maya blushed, the warmth spreading across her face. Paul's thumb stroked across the length of her neck as he watched her curiously.
"Because?" he prompted after she didn't continue. Maya closed her eyes tight in embarrassment and then opened them again.
"Because Kim is pregnant and Sadie might be too and I just don't want to take any chances," she said in a rush. Maya opened her eyes when the silence stretched between them and looked up into Paul's face. He'd made no effort to move away from her and he was smiling a sweet, indulging grin at her. "What?" she asked incredulously as her face settled into a frown. That had Paul chuckling and Maya huffed in annoyance.
"No offense, babe, but we've been going at it non-stop for a month and you haven't gotten pregnant. And I'm not going to wear a condom for some superstitious baby fever nonsense when you're on birth control," he said it all so warmly, so endearing, so convincing.
"But what if—" Maya's mouth fell open in a gasp, stopped short as Paul sunk into his hilt connecting his hips with hers. His grip on her hip and neck tightened as he held her to him and brought his lips to hover over hers.
"Hush," he said in that low voice that made heat instantly pool in her belly, "I'm not wearing a condom. Not when you feel this good," he groaned as he slowly pulled out and sunk back in as he began to thrust into her slowly. Maya's eyes fluttered closed at the feeling of fullness within her. Stretched around him, her head cleared and she felt safe and important. When he picked up his pace, grunting and pressing his lips to hers, she let out a heady moan and brought her arm up to snake around his neck and pull him flush against her. She wanted him closer, closer, so much closer.
Her heart pounded as he fucked into her wet heat and groaned sweetly in her ear, telling her how good she was doing, how well she was taking him. Maya shut her eyes tight as the blind pleasure washed over her. His hand tightened on her hip as he tugged her toward him faster, not letting up on his rhythm even though Maya was slowly going limp in his arms as her orgasm rinsed her out.
Paul moaned into her mouth, swallowing the soft sighs and sounds of his name on her lips as he slid quickly in and out of her. He wanted more, so much more that he couldn't tell her and that promise of heat and pleasure and the unspoken, unknowable future. Paul gritted his teeth before pulling Maya's bottom lip into his mouth and nipping at it, eliciting another one of her heart stopping moans. He was trying to ground himself, keep himself here because it was becoming too easy to slip into this feral, needy side of himself when he was buried in her like this, all wet and wanting and soft. He often found himself slipping, losing some semblance of control and he knew he couldn't do that with her, not with Maya.
"Paul," she gasped as he angled within her just right. His brain buzzed with a pleasant hum that traveled down and spilled out of his mouth. It reverberated against his chest and filled him with the most bright, light feeling. Not yet.
He slipped from her and she gave almost a relieved, satisfied noise, her eyes drooping. He chuckled, his mouth pulling up in a satisfied grin, "Not so fast, little red bikini," he chided pulling her off the table only to swivel her so she faced it before grabbing underneath her right knee and pulling it up to rest on the table.
"Paul, I—oh—I can't," she breathed, bracing one hand on the edge of the table and one looped up behind her and around the back of Paul's neck. Paul leaned down ever so slightly and gripped either side of her hips before pressing firmly down against her hip bone to cant her ass up.
"I know," he said gently, as he pressed his lips to her temple. "But you always say that, and then, you always give me one…" he groaned as he slipped back inside her from behind as she whined leaning her head back on his shoulder, "More," he huffed as he bottomed out. Paul let his hand coast from her hip to her lower belly and started to thrust, feeling the gentle bulge of himself seated deep within her as she whimpered and shut her eyes tight, bracing herself for another descent into blinding white, star popping, pleasure. Paul felt warm and firm behind her as his hips slapped against the curve of her ass. He held her to him tightly, helping to balance and angle her on the table so he could somehow sink deeper, his hand fanned out across her belly.
"Paul…I'm—" Maya huffed, rolling her hips back against his that returned a sweet stuttering moan from him.
"I've got you baby," he promised. Maya's eyes rolled into the back of her head as she let out a wail, letting it all go—all the stress and pent up frustration and unspoken argument between them melted away and she was so overcome with it. She clenched around him tightly and felt that warm gush between her thighs as he groaned against her ear.
"Do you want me to come in you?" his husky, rough voice sparked bursts of light behind her eyes and Maya sighed in the aftershocks of her orgasm. "You need to tell me, My." His voice sounded pained, urgent. She nodded but he continued, "Tell me out loud, baby," a sharp hiss pulled on that last word as he steadily thrust in and out of her, her walls clutching him hungrily.
"Yes," she breathed out, the voice not quite sounding like herself, "I want you to come in me, Paul. Please, please I need—" Maya's voice was cut short by Paul's hand snaking around her neck and putting firm warm pressure there. Her whole body lit up with sensation as he started to pound into her roughly from behind, each time hitting that sweet, sore spot in her that threatened to take her over the edge again. He slammed into her with two final thrusts and before emptying every last drop into her and Maya's brained hummed with that familiar feeling of completion. He kept her tight against him as he caught his breath, keeping her plugged full of him. They were covered in sweat, both of their chests rising and falling in time together and Maya was fighting the urge to pass out from pure bliss.
Paul's hands floated down to her sides and kissed along her shoulder and neck for a moment reveling in this feeling of keeping her full. "You can go to the beach later, yeah?" he said gently, running his fingertips gently along her ribs making Maya shiver. She nodded sleepily and Paul took it as his cue to carefully pull out of her with a hiss and scoop her up into his arms. He was pretty sure she was already asleep by the time he gently put her down on the cool leather couch and covered her bikini-clad body with a light throw blanket.
"What?!" Sadie's mouth fell open in shocked amusement as she let out a little laugh. Maya's hand stalled over the fresh picked spinach at the Forks Farmers Market.
"So..you're not then?" Maya asked as she grabbed a few bundles and put them in her cloth tote.
"No, I'm not pregnant. But I think it's hilarious that Becks thought so," Sadie was sorting through bushels of radishes and shot Maya her sweet smile.
"Forgive her. She's got baby brain and the fact that Kim is too—" Maya clamped her mouth shut suddenly and whispered a "shit" under her breath but Sadie was shocked once again.
"Kim!? Kim Cameron is pregnant?!" Sadie shrieked. Maya's eyes darted around the small crowd milling about the farmer's market. Not many people from the reservation were here but she motioned to Sadie to keep her voice down regardless.
"She's announcing it tonight. Fuck, I wasn't supposed to say anything. Don't say anything, please!" Maya pleaded, laughter still bubbling in her throat from her misstep. Sadie shook her head reassuringly.
"I promise. But goodness, I almost can't believe it," she said incredulously.
"Tell me about it," Maya breathed out in disbelief herself as she gathered some baskets of cherry tomatoes.
"Kim was so outspoken against settling down to have kids until she got her head nurse position. I thought they were still at least three, maybe four years out the way she was talking about it," Sadie continued. Maya pondered that for a moment. She remembered what felt like a lifetime ago when she was sitting in that exam room with Kim talking about birth control and how she was so adamantly on her side about not having kids until she was ready despite the council's eagerness.
"Maybe it's just the right time for them?" Maya offered, not wholly convinced herself.
"Must be, I'm sure Jared is completely thrilled. He's wanted them for a while now," Sadie picked through some fresh morel mushrooms.
"Really?" Maya asked. She arched an eyebrow in curiosity at her. Sadie gave her a look, one that spelled out to Maya how little she truly knew of pack dynamics. But Sadie was kind, always soft in her delivery.
"Yeah, he's mentioned it a couple of times at dinner or just in passing. He and Paul are always huddled in the kitchen together talking with Sam, I feel like," Sadie quipped, "Oh! Strawberries!" Maya watched her cross to the fruit stand and stayed stock still. Paul was talking to Jared about having kids? Or counseling him on having kids? Or…Maya paused. She didn't know what he talked to Jared about. Or any of the pack for that matter. Because she wasn't here. "I can make my famous strawberry shortcake tonight! What do you think?" Sadie positively buzzed with excitement. Maya swallowed hard and tried to set her face into a smile as she nodded.
That knot started to form in her belly again, tightening at the realization unfolding yet again that she was planning to leave in a few short weeks. And her and Paul had yet to have that discussion. Their communication stalled, always overshadowed by their physical need to connect instead and further put off the inevitable. She felt like she was on the edge of something, something that could ruin everything if she wasn't careful.
Maya shrugged on her dark blue leather jacket and quickly swung half of her hair up into a silk scrunchy. She quickly patted on some lip stain and jogged over to the bed where are laptop lay open the final packaged file of her last internship application. Maya scanned frantically over the list of requirements and checked each off in her head.
"My! Let's go! We're already late, baby!" Paul shouted from downstairs. Maya made one more pass over the attachments to ensure she had everything there and then clicked submit.
"Coming!" she shouted back. Maya quickly shut the laptop and bounded down the stairs where Paul was waiting, hands in his pockets.
"Ready?" he said softly.
"Last pack dinner, you know it," Maya quipped as she reached around him to grab her bag.
"Right," he said in a strange voice. But before Maya could question him, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her to his chest before planting a kiss on top of her head. Maya let her hands rest on the sides of his abdomen and breathed him in for just a second. The fissure she felt growing between them this summer had semi-sealed itself with this tiny flicker of hope. Hope that he was finally coming to terms with the fact that she was going back to the east coast in just one short week. Back to school and away from the abnormal life she'd been living up to this moment. "Come on," he said quietly as rubbed up and down her arms gently and steered her toward the door. Maya smiled up at him and wrapped her arm around his waist, allowing herself to be ferried toward the car.
The car ride to Sam and Emily's was quiet, but Maya was content as the soft rain splattered across the windshield and she held Paul's hand. There was a deep calm that seemed to settle over her as if everything that had remained unspoken between the two of them, in this moment, simply evaporated. Maya felt almost whole.
Paul must have felt the same because he kept bringing the back of her hand up to his lips as he drove as he wove gently down the rain slicked streets. Once they arrived at Sam and Emily's, the early evening rain gave way to a soft evening light that made the forest surrounding the small bungalow erupt with the soothing sounds of frogs and crickets, and the shuffling of wildlife between the ferns.
They were greeted as they usually were on pack dinner nights—to hoots and hollers and hellos. Becks stood in the small dining room, cradling Ephriam with Jacob's arm around her, chatting with Kim and Jared. Maya smiled and waved at them and let herself be enveloped into the warm chattering home.
Time always passed differently at pack dinners and even with the home now packed with so many wolves and imprints alike, it seemed like the house would always stretch to accommodate more as the kids ran underfoot. Dinner was a feast of sweetbreads and rice and chicken, and after Sam's obligatory toast to everyone, it was oddly void of any mention of anyone returning to school, despite him congratulating Jacob for getting the garage up and running amongst the chaos of this summer. Maya gave it little thought though tucked into Paul's side, laughing at something Jeremy said as he talked animatedly about his most recent mishap with one of the reservation girls.
After awhile, Paul drifted off to his usual corner with Sam, Jared, and now Jacob. They're heads were bowed as they spoke to one another but there were smiles flitting across each face that kept the conversation light. A sharp whistle rang out across the volley of voices and Sam stepped out from his corner to bellow:
"There's one more announcement to be made before the night ends," he nudged Jared forward. Maya's eyes shot to Kim, who's eyes were welling with tears as she smiled heartily. It made something cinch tightly in Maya.
"Yeah, yeah," Jared said holding up his hands almost in surrender. From behind him, Paul and Jacob chuckled as they clutched the necks of their beer bottles, "Kim and I have some exciting news…..babe?" he looked to her and she nodded, "We're having a baby!" he said, pure joy etched across his face. The house erupted into shouts of excitement and the wolves descended upon Jared, clapping him on the back. Maya stayed put, her eyes watching the scene unfold as everyone gathered around the two expectant parents to be. There was so much love here, and so much time for it all to happen. Whenever Maya was away, she never worried about missing out on anything because she didn't know what she would miss until she was told about it. But now, seeing this love and excitement pour from her family, she knew she'd truly miss out on something big. And yet, there was still that other part of her that tugged on her to leave, to return to her life in New York and follow every possible dream she had hoped for herself. She loved every person in this room and would gladly put herself in danger in their stead, but still Maya knew she wanted more. That guilt panged in her and made her ache in a new way. Torn between two spectacular worlds and how lucky she was to have both.
Maya finally pushed herself up out of her chair and walked over to embrace Kim in a hug who had continued weeping with delight into her shoulder. She couldn't help but feel that tremor of happiness within her as well at the sheer amount of emotion sweeping through the room.
Jake and Becks had been a surprise. But Kim and Jared were a long time coming to this moment. And you would have had to have been made of stone to not feel a flicker of excitement for both of them who were very openly crying in sheer joy at their own announcement.
Maya stood there for awhile, just admiring how bright and shiny Kim looked in that moment, her eyes flooded with tears as she spoke of the sheer excitement and desire she had for this baby. She was happy. And Maya was unequivocally happy for her.
After the excitement died down and some of the pack members left or folded themselves into the comfortable couches and armchairs and floor pillows scattered about, Maya joined Jeremy, Emily, and Sam in the kitchen where they were cleaning up and putting food away. Paul was fixing a loose handle on the kitchen sink as Maya grabbed a dish towel and started drying dishes.
"One of the most successful pack dinners yet, I think," Emily shone pure joy as she fitted the lid to a container of rice. Sam smiled at her warmly and nodded. "Oh Maya, that reminds me! Would you be able to host the next pack dinner? I think we're thinking September 30, right before the Fall bonfire?" Sam's head shot up and his eyes widened. Paul's hand went still for a second before he resumed tightening the handle.
Maya let out a laugh, glancing at Emily, "I mean if Paul wants to host, that's fine by me. I won't be here." There was silence in the kitchen and the only sound that could be heard was Sam's scrubbing and the faint voices filtering in from the living room. Jeremy looked from Sam to Emily in confusion.
"You're not?" Emily said, clearly confused as if this was news to her.
"No…" Maya stopped and looked at her, and then glanced at Paul. "I'll be at school."
"Oh! Right!" Emily said and Maya breathed an audible sigh of relief. "But you'll only be a couple hours away. Did you plan to live on campus this year at UW?"
Something hard and cold sank to the bottom of Maya's stomach. Emily was very obviously oblivious.
"Em," Maya said gently, "I'm going back to Columbia. To New York. In a week." That was good, stay calm.
Emily furrowed her brow, "But Paul said—" And that cold thing snapped and shattered within Maya in one second.
"Paul said what?!" Maya said a little too loud. Paul had stopped and set the wrench down, turning to lean against the counter with his arms crossed.
"I'm sorry…I-I didn't realize. He said you were registered for UW in the fall and just th-thought—" Emily stuttered. Sam crossed the room.
"It's okay, hun," Sam said as he rubbed her arm and shot Paul a disgruntled look as if to say Handle this.
"Paul?" Maya prompted, all fire. She should be more calm, she knew, but everything unspoken had all of the sudden reached a boiling point and there was no controlling it now. There was no physical cop-out this time.
"Maya, maybe we should talk about this outside," Paul said softly, his eyes apologetic toward Emily and Sam. Maya's whole face must have been red. Jeremy stood frozen, soap dripping from his hands as they darted from Maya to Paul.
"Sure, outside," Maya said and turned on heel and stomped toward the door. No one really paid them any attention but as she passed Emily, she squeaked out another apology that Maya couldn't bring herself to acknowledge.
She stomped down the porch stairs and took long strides toward the forest treeline trying to calm her breathing. Maya could hear Paul's footsteps not too far behind her. They got just inside the treeline before Maya whirled around on him, her eyes blazing and furious.
Paul's face was set into a distinct look of disappointment and subtle anger as his mouth turned down into a deep frown, his hands still stuffed into his pockets.
"What the fuck was that?!" Maya said roughly, her voice already losing to emotion. Paul looked around the forest, almost as if looking for a different answer before she said firmly, fiercely: "Paul."
His eyes snapped to her now, matching her fury, "Why are you so surprised?"
A sour taste coated Maya's tongue as she clenched her teeth, "What the fuck…was that? What is Emily talking about?" Maya gestured toward the house glittering through the dark lines of trees.
"We've already talked about this," Paul said almost inaudibly.
"Bullshit!" Maya yelled. "I think I would know if I was going to school at UW this fall. I wouldn't have shipped half my shit to New York. Or filled out my internship applications, or registered for classes, or set up my spot to volunteer at the fucking Engineering seminar in November for one. So, I'll ask you again, what the fuck was Emily talking about?" Maya's fists were clenched as her whole body shook.
Paul leveled her with his even stare, as immovable as the stone cliffs that jutted against First Beach. Maya was set to burst into a million pieces.
"You're staying on the rez this fall, My, that's what we talked about," he said everything so matter of factly it was maddening.
"Talked? Talked to who? Not to me. Because if i remember correctly, we haven't been talking at all. Just fucking. Or do you not remember that?" Maya sniped. This couldn't be happening.
"I had Michael enroll you at UW—"
"Without my fucking consent, Paul. What game is this? You know I'm going back to Columbia, you know I've been working on these internship applications. You know this and yet you did all this shit anyway without talking to me!" Maya was positively screaming. There was no way no one heard them from Emily's.
"I didn't want to upset you." Paul said, his face marred by sadness, but that stone facade stayed pushing Maya further to the breaking point.
"Fuck you!" She screamed. "This is the fucking worst shit you've ever done to me. I'm not fucking staying, I'm going back to school where I belong and you're going to have to just deal with that," Maya had taken two steps toward him and noticed now that his chest was rising and falling rapidly. His eyes became hard slits of anger.
"I'm not going to lose you," he said between gritted teeth.
"Then. Let. Me. Go." Maya said, taking another step toward him and pushing against his chest with each beat. Paul stared into her eyes fiercely, not letting any tension fold and Maya stared right back.
"Don't push me on this," he said again. Maya shook her head. "Please, Maya," but there was nothing left. "Get back!" he suddenly shouted. This jolted Maya and she stumbled back a few steps before solidifying her resolve. Paul was shaking all over.
After what felt like an eternity of Paul's ragged uncontrolled breathing and Maya mashing her jaw together so hard she thought her teeth would crack, he said between tight breathes as a dying plea: "I need you stay."
Maya's eyes welled with angry tears and she knew this was it. The final straw. "I can't…" and then: "I won't." She shook her head.
A resounding crack rang out against the trees closest to her as Paul exploded. In one moment he was there, wolf form bent and curled in on itself in sheer agony and the next he was gone, pounding into the forest. Maya took stuttering breaths, clenching and unclenching her fists to try and release the anger radiating from her, but to no avail.
In one swift moment, she felt that somewhat healed fissure hiss and crack open within her and knew things were well and truly broken. He wouldn't let her leave if he could help it and even in the wide open forest, Maya felt like things were closing in around her.
Her eyes widened, shooting to the shouts and voices filtering from the house beyond the trees—searching, looking for her and Paul. Maya had no idea what they would do to keep her here. What if Paul already asked them to keep her here? Maya's mind ran wild with anxiety and she sprinted toward her Jeep before the voices could discover her.
She shoved the keys into the engine and watched wide eyed as the headlights washed over the panic-stricken faces of her found family on Emily and Sam's front porch. She must have looked wild and terrified as she peeled out of the driveway and away, but she didn't care. That tightening in her chest told her that the walls were still closing in and she had to get out. Out of La Push, out of Washington.
She navigated her Jeep through the thick and dark forest, past the treaty line and down side roads she'd only traveled once before. When she pulled into the driveway of the shimmering glass home, two ghostly porcelain figures waited for her on the steps.
Maya ran a hand through her hair and tried to calm her frenzied nerves, but she knew that after this moment, there might be no turning back. She killed the ignition and crunched onto the gravel driveway, coming around the car to stare up at the two figures waiting halfway up the stairs to the Cullens' house.
It was so quiet, as if all of the animals in the surrounding forest had cleared out. Not even the comforting hum of tree frogs or crickets could be heard. It was unnerving to say the least, but Maya was in no state to worry about that implications of that right now. She stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at the stone, even faces of the two vampires and said just loud enough for herself to hear:
"I need your help."