Neither the story nor the characters belong to me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
TEMARI
"And I understand your frustration, Mrs. Nara..." The caterer said, his voice pinched with annoyance.
"Uzumaki," I corrected him.
It was too early on a Tuesday morning for this kind of shit, especially when my Labor Day weekend had been nothing but crying into a vat of ice cream.
"Sorry, Ms. Uzumaki, but since it was Mr. Nara who put the deposit down, I can't cancel the date without him calling. I'm sure you understand."
"As long as you understand that there won't be any wedding, so all you're doing is denying yourself the opportunity to book another client that day."
I rubbed the bridge of my nose and leaned my elbows on my desk. This was it, the last call I had to make to cancel the wedding that never should have been. The first call—the one to my mother—had been brutal, and the worst part was that she'd remained so Zen about the whole thing. My whole life was disintegrating around me, and she was calm as could be.
She thinks this is just a spat that will blow over.
Maybe once I got this block checked, my own equilibrium would return. After all, it wasn't like I hadn't lived twenty-six years of my life without Shika, right? My gaze flickered to the framed picture of us and the boys on the corner of my desk. I reached out and flipped it facedown... The problem with having Shika for those five glorious months is I'd seen what my life looked like in radiant color, and now it was back to black and white.
"That may be, but I still need Mr. Nara to call."
After agreeing to disagree, I hung up with the caterer and let my head fall into my hands. I hadn't even seen Denki yet this morning, and it was already nine fifteen.
"You should have taken today off," Clara lectured from my doorway, sympathy dripping from her eyes. She held a bottle of water in her hands.
"And done what? Stayed home and felt sorry for myself?"
At least the apartment was fully furnished, but it still felt empty and wrong, like I'd somehow become an anachronism in my own home... Because it isn't home anymore.
Clara clicked her tongue.
"Fine then. If you insist on being here, then at least hydrate. You look like crap." She set the water on my desk and walked away.
"I own this place, remember?" I called after her.
"That may be, but I'm the one who keeps it running," she retorted, already back at her desk.
I couldn't argue that point, so I cracked open the bottle and drained half of it, soothing my parched, sob-sore throat. Then I took out my iPad and opened the doc we kept for inventory. Fall session was beginning, and the new materials we'd ordered had been delivered, so at least I could make myself useful and inventory everything.
I walked out into the hallway at the same moment Naruto walked in.
"Hey, Tema."
My posture sagged as relief rushed through me.
His eyes widened slightly before his strides ate up the distance between us, and then I was against his chest, his arms closing around me, his chin resting on the top of my head.
I let loose a little self-deprecating laugh.
"I don't look that bad, do I?"
"I'm so sorry." He rocked us slightly, like we were kids again. "About the boys. About Shika. All of it."
My eyes popped open.
"How did you know?"
I hadn't called him, hadn't wanted to worry or distract him with so much on the line regarding their certification. The scent of ash filled my lungs—he must have come straight from the fire. It was almost funny how I'd once associated that sharp, smoky fragrance with misery, and now it was…home.
"I knew Shika was leaving the site, we split his squad between mine and Sasuke's, which told me something was up with the boys. By the time we were on the way home, Ino had told Kiba, and Sakura had told Sasuke, who..."
"Told you," I finished for him.
He nodded, the motion catching the scruff of his beard in my hair.
"I wish there was something I could do. Some way I could make it better. I could fucking kill him for this."
"Please don't be mad at Shika," I whispered. "A lot of this is my fault, and I'll never forgive myself if I'm the reason you lose your best friend."
He sighed.
"Shit is complicated, Tema. He's my friend, but you're my sister."
God love him, the words I told you so never left his lips.
The door opened behind us, and we broke apart, turning to see Nolan ushering Denki through the door. They both seemed frazzled, but Nolan looked downright drained. My gaze swept over Denki, and I took my first full breath since I'd said goodbye to him after class on Friday. His clothes were a little rumpled but clean, but his lips were pursed, his brows drawn tight under his Konoha Wildland Firefighting hat as he focused on where he was walking.
"Hey there," I croaked.
Denki's head snapped up and he smiled, breaking into a run for the fifteen feet that separated us. I dropped down as low as my skirt would let me and opened my arms, hugging him tight. He smelled like the shampoo I'd sent home with him.
"How's your morning?" I asked, making myself let him go.
"I'm late." The frown reappeared as I pulled back, my hands on his shoulders.
"Yep." I grinned with a shrug. "It happens to the best of us."
Denki's attention snapped upward, and his eyes lit up.
"Naruto!"
"Hey, little man." Naruto tapped the bill of Denki's hat. "Nice hat."
"Thanks! Shika gave it to me!"
My heart missed a few beats.
"I figured. Looks good on you." Denki beamed at the compliment.
"Why don't you hang up your stuff?" I suggested. "I bet Miss Megan will be excited that you made it!"
Denki nodded and headed a few feet away to his cubby, wiggling out of his backpack and hanging it on the hook.
"I'll see you later, Temari. Bye, Naruto!" He waved at Nolan. "Bye, Dad!"
"Bye!" Nolan's smile came out a little contorted with tension, but he waved as Denki slipped through the door to his classroom.
Nolan looked at me. I stared at him.
"And this would be my cue to exit this awkward moment and wait in your office." Naruto gave my back a pat and left me standing in the empty hallway with Denki's dad.
"Hi." Nolan rubbed the back of his neck and sucked in a breath, his gaze dropping away from mine. His eyes were a little red and sported giant purple half-moons under them, and he ran his hand through his unwashed hair nervously. He was dressed for work, but his shirt was on inside-out.
"Hi," I answered.
Naruto was right. This was awkward as hell.
"I'm sorry he's late." He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Hoki threw up as we were getting ready to walk out the door, and I had to toss him in the bathtub. Then I realized I didn't have enough diapers in the bag, so we had to stop at the store, and it all kind of fell into chaos." He shot me a guilty look. Like I had some kind of right to judge him.
But I'd been exactly where he was that first month with the boys. Instead of anger over Denki's tardiness, I felt…empathy. He wasn't neglecting the boys or packing his car to vanish in the night. The guy was trying.
I parted my lips to speak.
"And I know what you're going to say," he rushed. "That I'm not doing a good enough job. That I should have this all figured out. That they would have been better off with you, and honestly, it's nothing I haven't said to myself this weekend."
"I wasn't going to say that."
"But Hoki isn't sleeping, which means Denki won't sleep. So they've both been up all night. Every night. And the super called me with a noise complaint because Hoks wouldn't stop crying. Like, what was I supposed to do? Gag him? And Denki…he's so mad at me. It's like he doesn't trust me... like he's the adult, and I'm failing. I don't feed Hoks right. I don't cut his sandwiches right. I can't find his fire truck. I don't have a laser tag set like Shika. I don't brush his hair the same way you do. I don't know that he's supposed to get lotion after his bath." His eyes flared. "I can't even remember the last time I took a shower because I'm too busy trying to keep Hoks's fingers out of the kitchen drawers or cleaning up the mess just in case Shizune stops by on a surprise visit and thinks I can't do this, and I'm so damned tired that I could probably sleep standing up in this hallway." He muttered something and his shoulders fell. "And now I've just admitted my complete incompetence to the enemy."
"I'm not your enemy."
I shook my head and walked forward so there were only a few feet between us. He looked so much like Denki, and though Hoks was just a toddler, I could see Nolan in the shape of his eyes and stubborn set of his chin.
"You wanted to adopt the boys, and I ruined that." His shoulders rose and fell. "I'd say that puts us on separate sides."
I thought about Denki's smile on that first visit day, and how certain he'd been at the start of this that his father would come for him.
"I'm on the boys' side," I finally said. "And what they need is you."
He blinked and shifted his weight.
"I'm not your enemy, Nolan," I repeated. "And I have been just as flustered as you are right now, but it was easier on me because I had Shika after that first night." And sure, he'd been gone a lot this summer, but he'd been there when it most mattered, while we'd gotten our feet under us. Nolan just needed to get his feet on that same, sturdy ground. "Give everyone a few weeks to settle into your new normal. It's a lot of change for all three of you."
"And until then?" Something flashed through his eyes. A plea?
I folded my arms across my chest and thought.
"Until then, Denki needs to feel like Hoki is secure. That's always his first thought, even as young as he is. If you have questions about Hoks, just ask Denki. It will make Denki feel useful, and he'll start to trust you once he sees that Hoks is taken care of."
"Okay." He nodded. "What else?"
I thought back over his list of preferences.
"Denki likes his sandwiches cut diagonally. Hoki throws up every time he has lactose, or sometimes when he's just overly gassy. There are some good videos on YouTube to help you with that." My brows furrowed. "The fire truck got left at Shika's house. I'll see what I can do about that." The idea of calling Shika, of being the first to reach out nauseated me. "Have him show you how he likes his hair brushed. Lotion after baths helps calm them both, plus it's Colorado, so their skin dries out really fast. As for sleep, Hoki probably misses his crib..."
"I can't afford one. Not until next paycheck." His jaw ticked. "I drained everything I had moving back here and getting the apartment set up."
"Let me see what I can do about that." I forced a smile. "The sleep will come. And shower as soon as they close their eyes. No matter how exhausted you are, you'll feel better if you can tune out the world for five minutes. You're going to be all right." I sucked in a deep breath. "And Hoki…his birthday is the fourteenth of August."
"I know." He flinched. "Well, I know now. I wasn't here when he was born, and that's my fault, but I'm learning as fast as I can. Thank you. Really. I don't know how else to say it." His shoulders rolled forward.
"If you need something, let me know. I can always pick up Denki from school if you're running late, or take Hoks early if you need help before Cherry opens. Try not to think of me as the opposition. I'm here to help." The words were sharp and sour on my tongue but true.
His forehead crinkled.
"Really?"
"Really." I nodded.
"But why?"
I blinked back the sting in my eyes.
"Because I love Denki and Hoki. I will always love them." I swallowed past the knot of emotion clogging my throat. "And more than anything, I want them to be happy. I want you to be successful. You have to be successful."
He swallowed and nodded.
"I'd better get going. I'm already late. Thanks again."
"You're welcome." I stood in the hallway as he left, my shoulders relaxing when the door closed behind him.
I heard footsteps behind me and didn't need to turn around to know who it was.
"You are a way better person than I am," Naruto said, coming to stand beside me. "I'm still furious that he left those boys in the first place, and I know Shika is too."
"Shika is furious about a lot of things." Mostly my actions. "And I'm still mad," I admitted. "But there's nothing Nolan can do about the past. No way to go back and make it right. All the guy can do is move forward and show up for the boys. If we can help him do that, then the boys win. It's that simple."
And that complicated.
"You need anything from me?" Naruto asked, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. "My place is always open to you."
I leaned into him.
"No, I'm back at my apartment."
"So, no vacation rental?" I shook my head.
"Need me to beat the shit out of Shika? Because that option is always open to you too," he offered like he was extending an invite to lunch.
"Don't even think about it." I narrowed my eyes at him.
He blinked with feigned innocence.
"What? It's not like I didn't warn him. He hurt you, now I hurt him."
"Guy logic astounds me," I muttered. "I'm the one who left, Naruto. Not Shika. He may have prompted the move, but I didn't exactly give him a chance to talk me out of it."
Naruto's brow knit.
"But you love him."
I shrugged.
"Yeah, but I'm not sure he loves me." My heart crumpled all over again. "And even as immature as it was, there was some part of me that spent the weekend staring at my phone, at my door, hoping Shika would come after me. But you know Shika. He doesn't go after anyone."
Naruto grumbled.
I glanced through the window into Denki's classroom and smiled at the sight of him chatting it up with the girl who sat next to him. He'd come such a long way in such a short time, and I was willing to do anything to keep that progress moving forward.
I had to keep moving forward too.
"You know," I said to my brother. "There is something you can help me with."