Total Drama All-Stars Rewritten: Episode 7
RATED TV-14
This episode contains material that may be inappropriate for viewers under the age of 14. Viewer discretion is advised.
Moon Madness
(Recap)
Chris: Last time on Total Drama All-Stars, giant pancakes were gobbled down, and in a few cases, regurgitated right back up, thanks to a stomach-churning obstacle course. Lightning and Sky butted heads, A LOT, and now Courtney and Duncan have buried the hatchet and made up once and for all, leaving Gwen the only member of the trifecta with a case yet to be cracked. Owen ate like a pig, Alejandro had a hard time, Lindsay tried everything in her power to beat her old nemesis Heather. In the end, the big losers were the Heroes, thus ending their winning streak. The final marshmallow was set to go to either Lindsay or Zoey, but it was Sierra who sacrificed herself to save them and so she could reunite with her boy toy Cody back home. The Heroes may have won 3 challenges in a row, but they are still the underdogs. Can the Villains win back-to-back? Or will the Heroes prevail and retain their crown? Find out tonight on TOTAL! DRAMA! ALL-STARS!
(Theme song)
Dear mom and dad, I'm doing fine
You guys are on my mind
You asked me what I wanted to be, now I think the answer is plain to see
I wanna be famous!
I wanna live close to the sun
Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day
'Cause I wanna be famous!
Na, na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na, na, na-na-na-na
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!
I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!
(Whistling)
(Later that evening, the Heroes are served powdered gruel for dinner in the loser cabin. Brick is hacking it up after eating it)
Geoff: What's the big deal serving us nasty slop?
Owen: Yeah! I miss the hotel and their food! The bacon, the eggs, the toast!
Chef: Losers get the short end of the stick with their meals. So get to it, ya filthy cockroaches!
Sky: Okay, that is just wrong!
Brick: Affirmative! (confessional) Even I didn't get such malnourishment back in cadets! We would get 3 squares a day, and protein with every meal. Not this!
Sky: (confessional) What makes Chef think it's okay to not feed us proper food? For a challenge, I can understand, but not part of our routine meals every day! Blechhh!
Shawn: This glop looks like something Sugar would eat.
Jasmine: Right?
Cameron: It tastes like dirt gravy. Which technically would be mud. (suddenly, he trips and breaks his glasses! Zoey gasps and comes to his aid)
Zoey: Cameron! Are you okay?
Cameron: I'm fine. But my glasses are not. (He tries to put them back on, but they fall right off)
Zoey: (confessional) How did that happen? (Thinks for a second) Wait a minute! Mal!
Mal: (confessional) My my, who broke Cameron's glasses? Jinkies, what a mystery. (Snickers evilly)
(Flashback)
(From under the cabin, Mal grabbed Cameron's ankle, making him trip! Then, Mal disappears in the darkness)
(End of flashback)
Zoey: (confessional) Did he break Sierra's smartphone too? (Gasps) Oh my gosh! Well, I'm not going to take this lying down! If that scumbag breaks my friends, I'll break him! Ya hear me, Mal?
Zoey: (angry) Okay, where are ya, you evil (censored)? (She looks under the cabin, but he's not there!) What the? Did he? He's gone! Am I seeing things?
Sky: I don't know. (She holds up 3 fingers) How many fingers do you see?
Zoey: 3?
Sky: Right! You're okay. (Zoey is still convinced about Mal)
(Meanwhile, the Villains are eating a 5 star dinner in the spa hotel. Alejandro is whistling through his nose while eating his steak, and it is bothering Heather)
Heather: (annoyed) Is that really necessary? Whistling through your nose while you eat?
Alejandro: (sighs) Typical. (He gets up and leaves. Heather gasps!)
Heather: (confessional) Typical Heather? That's his idea of a comeback? Is that the best he can do? Is he even trying? Or is he losing interest in me? What the hell is his deal? UGH!
Alejandro: (confessional) Sí, let Heather believe she's a clever fox. But it is I who shall possess the advantage. You see, I still have to settle the score from our previous encounter in Hawaii.
(Gwen has snuck away from her teammates and went to the porch of the spa hotel to see Duncan. Duncan came out of the hotel and smiled at his girlfriend)
Gwen: (smiles back) Hey babe.
Duncan: Evening pasty.
Gwen: Can we talk for a second?
Duncan: Sure thing. What's up?
Gwen: I kinda noticed that Courtney was being nice to you again. There's nothing going on between you guys, is there?
(As they were chatting, Courtney saw them through the window. She wanted to do something, but she could only smile. Then she left)
Duncan: Relax babe. Courtney told me the whole scandal from before was baking her like a pizza from the inside out. And she wanted to put a stop to it. So we talked it over and we're cool now. Nothing to worry about.
Gwen: Really?
Duncan: Yeah.
Gwen: Did she say anything about me?
Duncan: She said she misses you and doesn't want you to be afraid of her anymore. She wants to be your friend again.
Gwen: She said that?
Duncan: She sure did.
Gwen: Wow...I guess Courtney really has matured.
Duncan: And so have I.
(Gwen smiles at him and they kiss)
Gwen: (confessional) Courtney wants to be my friend? I want to believe it, but I'm still kinda worried. I'm not being paranoid, am I?
Courtney: (confessional) I'm so happy Duncan told Gwen everything. Now if I can just get Gwen alone for 5 minutes, look her in the eye, and tell her that I'm sorry, everything will be okay.
(Courtney is lying in bed. She sighs as she is processing her thoughts.)
Courtney: Why do I feel like I'm missing something? (Then, she thinks she hears Scott's voice in her head. She gasps) Scott! I actually miss him! I wonder how he's doing in exile.
(On Boney Island, Scott is searching for the invincibility statue)
Scott: You can do this, Scottie! You found the statue at the drop of a dime last time! Should be easy as Pappy's apple pie this time! (Suddenly, he runs right into Fang!) OH COME ON! NOT YOU! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! (he runs away and Fang chases him)
(In the confessional, Fang holds up a portrait of Scott and eats it in one gulp)
Scott: (confessional/scared) I just can't put up with that shark anymore! After I took the hurl of shame in season 4, he literally ate me! Chris put me in a robotic containment unit so that I could survive while doctors had to recover my body parts from the shark's stomach! Thankfully I underwent successful surgery and made a full recovery, but I still can't stand that shark!
(As Fang is chasing Scott, Chef grabs him from a helicopter above, flying him out of the shark's reach)
Scott: Huh? (to Fang) Ha ha! Sucks to be you! (Fang growls since he lost his dinner! Chef flies Scott back to Camp Wawanakwa)
Chris: (loudspeaker) Evening campers! Gather round the starting line for a special announcement! (Everyone meets up there, and Scott is brought back. Chef drops him with a THUD)
Scott: Ow!
Courtney: Oh my gosh! Are you okay?
Scott: (gets up/faking) Never better. (his back cracks)
Courtney: Well, good. Because it's challenge time and...don't hold back now!
Scott: Whatever you say, ma'am! (confessional) Like I said, I don't mind taking orders, but I'm still my own man. In season 4, my strategy was to throw challenges to give the opponent a false sense of security before I pick them off myself. This time, I'm doing things differently. Let my team win so I can pick off my unworthy opponents right away. Have you seen them? What a bunch of suckers!
Courtney: (confessional) What? I don't have a crush on Scott. I mean, he's cute and all, but...did I say cute? Disregard that! (she sighs dreamily as she thinks about him. Then she realizes what she's doing and slaps herself across the face!)
Chris: Welcome players! It's time for our first nighttime challenge!
Gwen: (sarcastic) Oh, joy.
Chris: Joy indeed! This will be a nod to the buried treasure fiasco that took place in season 4. The challenge, race on foot to the far end of the island. First team to get every member across the finish line wins. And someone from the losing team will be riding the boat of losers into the unknown. (Chuckles) Na, just kidding. They'll just be sent home.
Duncan: Sounds simple enough.
Chris: Don't be deceived, as tonight's full moon is an extremely rare blue harvest moon, which takes place every few thousand years. And it has a rather unusual affect on the wildlife.
Mal: (evilly) Hmm, a blue harvest moon, how fortuitous.
Alejandro: (sarcastic) Gracías. We shall consider ourselves "forewarned."
Owen: What does he mean "unusual?"
Sky: I don't know, but I got a bad feeling about it.
Chris: Villains, you won the last challenge, so you get the advantage of carrying this map with the quickest path.
Heather: Yes!
Alejandro: Excellente!
Lightning: Sha-win!
Jasmine: What about us?
Chris: Heroes, you get zilch. Nothing but your wits.
Gwen: (sarcastic) Why am I not surprised?
Heather: (smug) Ha! Just how it should be! Throw the losers to the rabid hogs! (she blows a raspberry at the Heroes. Gwen growls angrily)
Jasmine: It'll be fine. The Villains might have the map, but...
Brick: We'll pursue them and be hot on their tail!
Sky: And then, we'll jump ahead at the finish line!
Cameron: Capital idea!
Mal: (snickers evilly) How easier can this get? (Duncan and Alejandro are uncomfortable. Zoey glares at him)
Zoey: (confessional) Hmm...Duncan and Alejandro were really the only ones who reacted there. Maybe they know something about Mal that the others don't. I'll have to talk to them.
Heather: (takes the map) Let me see that. (reads it) Oh yeah. Victory is assured now.
Chris: On your marks...get set...GO! (The Villains take off ahead of the Heroes. The Heroes are not far behind)
(With the Heroes)
Zoey: (to Cameron) I swear it had to have been Mal who broke your glasses, Cam!
Cameron: I have a suspicion that you might be right Zoey. This is the second time something was broken.
Owen: It wasn't me! Honest! I'm a good guy! (chuckles)
Zoey: No, we know you didn't do it Owen.
Cameron: Yeah, despite your hulking girth and power, you're too good-hearted to do such a thing.
Owen: (confessional) I guess the time when Chris asked me to stir up trouble only to pay off that cheese cellar was coming back to me like a candy cane boomerang! Remember all that from Total Drama Action? Yeah, it didn't get a happy ending. Chris fired me and it took the family a whole year to pay it all off. But it was worth it! I love cheese!
Sky: What exactly did Chris mean by unusual affect on the animals?
Brick: I got a feeling that mystery is about to be busted wide open.
Jasmine: It can't be any different from the killer robot animals from Pahkitew Island.
Lindsay: Robot animals?
Shawn: It's a long story.
Geoff: Dudes, look! (he points to the moon, and it turns a shade of blue and sends out a radiation wave)
Gwen: What the hell?
Cameron: Blue moonlight? Extraordinary! (With the blue moon, the animals are now behaving the opposite of their normal behavior! Gentle animals are now aggressive! And aggressive animals are now gentle! Suddenly, Mal turns into Mike!)
Mike: Huh? What happened? Where am I? (confessional) I'm back in control again! But, how did that happen? Was everything before just a dream? Did the blue harvest moon bring me back? Ehh...I can't process it all at once, it's giving me a splittin' headache!
Mike: Zoey? Zoey? Where are you?
Scott: Forget about that and come on!
Mike: Uh...okay? (He follows the Villains)
(Not far behind, Zoey could recognize Mike's voice)
Zoey: Mike? Mike? Is that you? Where'd you go?
Shawn: No time for that now! We gotta move before we become zombie chow! (Zoey follows)
Zoey: (confessional) I know I heard Mike's voice and not Mal's! If Mike really is back, I have to find him and get some answers!
(As the Villains are following the path, an alligator appears in front of them, wagging its tail like a dog!)
Courtney: Since when do alligators behave like that?
Alejandro: This moon is like no other. It must be causing the animals to act their opposite.
Scarlett: Precisely. For example, a normally gentle creature like a rabbit would act aggressively under the effects of the radiation wave the moon released upon changing the color of its moonlight.
Heather: (cutesy) Wow, Alejandro! You're so smart!
Alejandro: (surprised) ¿Disculpe?
Heather: (cutesy/hugs the alligator) Who's a little boogee boogee boo? You are! Yes you are! (everyone is shocked and Alejandro quivers in discomfort)
Alejandro: (confessional) Never have I seen such terrifying behavior from such a sour and malevolent individual.
(Meanwhile, a flock of angry birds charge at Shawn and Jasmine!)
Shawn: No one told me zombies could fly!
Jasmine: They're just birds! Just, not what you would expect. (She wacks them away with her hat) Back, you kookaburras! Back!
(Duncan, Courtney and Scott are surrounded by a group of angry rabbits! Duncan and Courtney run away)
Scott: I'm not gonna be taken down by a gang of bunnies. Ya hear me, ya rascally critters? I hunt you and other rodents on the farm with my pappy! (The rabbits growl at him) Uh oh. Uh...I know! (he takes a bite out of a carrot) Eh, what's up doc? (The rabbits attack him!) AAAHHHHHHHHH! THE HUNTER IS NOW THE HUNTED!
Courtney: Quit fooling around, Bugs! Come on! (she drags him along)
Scott: (confessional) I wasn't scared of those bunnies. I was surprised. (He hears growling outside, he gets scared) WHAT WAS THAT? WHO'S THERE? (he realizes he's still on camera) Uh...I mean...don't make me pull out the bat! I'll turn ya into rabbit stew! Ya hear me? (The rabbits break into the confessional and attack him again!)
(Meanwhile, Zoey is being cornered by a vicious duck)
Zoey: Stay back! I can cook you, you know!
(A bird charges at Brick)
Brick: Fighter bird at 12 o'clock! (he ducks out of the way)
(Birds surround Lindsay)
Lindsay: (smiles nervously) Oh, hello! (they peck at her arms) Ow! Ow!
Geoff: That's it, I can't take anymore of this! I'm out!
Brick: Wait a minute! Never leave a soldier behind!
Sky: That is a valid point. The whole team has to be present at the finish line to win.
Shawn: Yeah! Besides, animals being affected by reverse psychology is a cakewalk compared to the zombie apocalypse.
Owen: Wait, zombies?
Cameron: Apparently Shawn has a zombie phobia and is trained to always stay on his toes.
Shawn: That's right, you never know when there's zombies afoot.
Gwen: You've been watching too many of those movies, haven't you?
Brick: Team, we have no choice but to proceed. We shall clear the peril as we go. Move out! (He takes the lead and the others follow. Although Owen is having a hard time keeping up)
Owen: (feeling faint) More running? Ehh...I think I'm getting winded.
Jasmine: No time to rest now mate!
Geoff: Yeah! After the challenge! (They lift Owen and carry him)
(The Villains have a big lead. Scott is still being attacked by the rabbits)
Alejandro: Vamanos! There's no time to lose!
Courtney: Scott! Hurry up!
Scott: Ow! Ow! (sarcastic) Damn, who wants an autograph, huh?
Lightning: Ain't no critters gonna take down the Lightning!
Scarlett: This reverse psychology on the animals is just an impossibly. This isn't a fantasy land where all means of logic are defied.
Alejandro: Heather, rapido! You have the map!
(Heather is still hugging the alligator)
Heather: (cutesy) Yay! Running! (She catches up with her teammates) Great work guys! We're halfway to the end! (She prances around like a magical pixie horse!) Yippee! This is fun!
Courtney: Why is Heather being affected by the blue harvest moon?
Duncan: Heather actually in a good mood? Now I've seen everything.
Courtney: Right? I mean, what if she's part wolf? (She and Duncan laugh)
Duncan: (confessional) After tonight, Heather won't be allowed back into that Starbucks again.
Mike: Hey guys, has anyone seen Zoey?
Scarlett: You must be Mike, the alternate personality of Mal.
Mike: Me? An alternate personality?
Scarlett: Yes. The cause of him returning after his service in prison was when you suffered that accident in the first episode. And now he has hijacked your subconscious and became the new default personality.
Mike: Wait, what? New default?
Scarlett: Precisely.
Mike: (confessional) Oh no...things have just went out of the frying pan and into the fire! With Mal as the headliner, everyone is in danger! What can I do?
(Chris is watching in the booth)
Chris: Wow, talk about a series of unfortunate events! Heh heh heh! Can Mike stay Mike until the end of the challenge? And hopefully for the rest of the season? And who will reach the other side of the island first?
Chef: I hope Mike does stay Mike, because that other guy means business.
Chris: You can say that again! Heh heh heh! We'll be right back.
(Commercial break)
(Cameron is being cornered by vicious rabbits!)
Cameron: This is completely the opposite of what a rabbit should be! Nice bunnies! Shall I feed you a bunch of carrots? (just as the rabbits are about to attack, Jasmine saves him!)
Jasmine: Phew! That was a close shave! With razor bumps!
Cameron: Thanks for the save Jasmine!
Jasmine: No problem. Besides, never leave a mate behind, right?
Cameron: Right! Uh, question. How did you guys survive a whole season on a fake island with robot animals?
(More vicious animals appear)
Jasmine: I'll explain later. Let's go! (she carries Cameron over her shoulder)
Cameron: You're so strong!
(The Villains come to a rope bridge positioned high over a deep gorge)
Duncan: I don't like the looks of that bridge. Perhaps we should go around before risk becoming part of the ground?
Courtney: No dice, mohawk. This is the fastest route to the finish line. Straight across.
Lightning: I don't know, Lightning would like to keep the skin and muscles on his body!
Alejandro: Amigos, there's no other way. We have to keep following the map.
Scarlett: Correct. Rope bridges are not entirely sturdy, but they can be crossed successfully if pedestrians tread lightly along.
Lightning: Why can't Lightning head back and go around where it's safer?
Scarlett: That will take 3 times as long. The other team will reach the finish before we do. We will lose.
Heather: (cutesy) Besides, if you don't come with us, we'll miss you sooooo much! (Alejandro shudders)
Lightning: Fine!
Duncan: Whatever. But I don't have to like it.
(Meanwhile, Owen is being chased by rabid squirrels)
Owen: AAAHHHHHHHH! The adventurer mustn't meet a grisly end like this at the hands, or paws, of such cute and cuddly little rodents! He-WHOA! (he tumbles down a hill like a bowling ball! He slams into a tree) Ow! That smarts! (He gets up and observes his surroundings. He is all alone) Uh...the adventurer is feeling disoriented, for he has wandered into unseen territory...and very cautious of every...WHY DOES EVERYTHING LOOK THE SAME? WHERE ARE THE OTHER ADVENTURERS?
(Back at the bridge, the Villains have yet to cross)
Heather: (cutesy) Come on guys! There's nothing to be afraid of!
Alejandro: (sarcastic) Except you.
(while the Villains aren't looking, Mike snuck away to find Zoey)
Mike: ZOEY! ZOEY!
Zoey: MIKE! (they run into each other)
Mike: Zoey! Thank goodness I found you!
Zoey: Mike? Is it really you?
Mike: Yeah! It's me!
Zoey: Oh Mike! (she hugs him tightly) I'm so glad to finally see you after what happened to you! That guy Mal has been stirring the pot around here!
Mike: I know! I think he's now the personality in control!
Zoey: That's awful! What can we do to beat him?
Mike: I don't know, your guess is as good as mine!
Zoey: What about your other personalities?
Mike: I haven't been able to summon them for days! I don't know why!
Zoey: What could be the cause of that? (she thinks for a second, then she gasps!) When you fell on your face on the dock, on the first day! You were still you before that, and after that, Mal came out!
Mike: We gotta tell Cam!
Zoey: (confessional) I know Cameron said the only way to bring Mike back is to beat Mal, but Mike was right there before my eyes! I know I wasn't going crazy, it really was him! And how could Mike not summon his other personalities after the accident? I'm no psychologist, but maybe Cameron can figure it out. I mean, how can someone beat another person within their self? Ehh...it's making my head hurt just thinking about it!
Mike: (confessional) How much longer am I going to be in charge before Mal regains control? I got rid of him after I got out of juvie, how did he come back? I have to stop him! But, how? And who will help me? Zoey might be the only one to beat Mal on the outside, but even that might not leave a mark on him on the inside. Looks like I'm on my own against this menace.
(Back at the bridge)
Courtney: (nervous) Uh...any volunteers to cross first?
Scott: I'll do it! Back home, we have a special way to cross bridges like this.
Lightning: Step aside, freckles! This is a job that requires a superstar's special skills!
Heather: (cutesy) Yay! Go Lightning!
Alejandro: (sarcastic) The things you do frighten us all.
Lightning: Alright bridge, make way for the Lightning! (he takes off running across the bridge! He makes it to the other side and the bridge doesn't crack!)
Scarlett: Hmm...intriguing. Not even a little crack and he ran across at full sprint.
Alejandro: Shall we cross?
Duncan: Okay, sure. Color me impressed.
Mike: Uh...sure! (chuckles nervously)
(One by one, the Villains slowly cross the bridge)
Alejandro: Just don't look down!
Mike: Maybe this is a job for Svetlana! (he tries to become Svetlana, but nothing)
Courtney: Mike, what are you doing? We gotta keep moving!
Mike: Trying to summon my athletic side to make it across the gorge, but it's not working. (confessional) Ever since Mal has awakened, I haven't been able to summon my other personalities! Watch. (he purposely hits the wall) OW! Damned wall! Am I right Chester? (nothing happens) Huh? (he rips his shirt off) Yo, Vito! My shirt's off! Come and get it! (nothing happens) Vito? (he trembles in fear) ANYBODY?
(Lightning is waiting impatiently on the other side)
Lightning: Tsk tsk. I bet any other A-list superstar athlete wouldn't have to wait this long!
Alejandro: Patience Lightning! We cannot risk falling to our death below! (suddenly, Heather slips! But Alejandro catches her before she could fall into the gorge)
Heather: I knew you still cared. (confessional) Now who's typical? Hopeless loser! As if the moon affected me. But as long as I keep him guessing, it will be me who will be superior!
Alejandro: (confessional/angry) How dare she trick me like that! (growls) I should have let her fall! Ugh! Stupido!
(Just as the Villains are about to reach the other side, a beaver bites Scott on the butt!)
Scott: OW! THAT IS NOT A CHEW TOY! (he thrashes about violently, trying to get the beaver off of him) Stop it, ya filthy rodent! Get that out of your mouth! You have no idea where it's been!
Alejandro: Scott! Don't do that!
Scarlett: The bridge will collapse if you do that!
Courtney: Hurry! (The Villains run across and reach the other side)
Lightning: It's about time, slowpokes!
Duncan: Bite me, bicep brain.
(the beaver is still locked onto Scott's butt)
Scott: WOULD YOU LET GO OF MY ASS ALREADY?! (Courtney pulls it off of him) OW! Ever heard of the word gentle?!
Courtney: Munch on this, buck tooth! (the beaver chews on the ropes, and now the bridge is out!)
Scarlett: Now the bridge is no longer an option for our adversaries.
Alejandro: Muy bien! They will have to cross the gorge hand over hand.
Scott: I guess that helped, by accident! (snickers evilly)
Duncan: You sure did, hillbilly Joe!
Alejandro: A successful crossing! Onwards and forwards! (they set off again) Heather! Yeah, you with the map! Up front, where I can see you!
(Heather goes in front with the map)
(Meanwhile, the Heroes are far behind)
Brick: Move move move! We can't lose that trail!
Sky: Wait a minute, where's Owen?
Geoff: I thought Jasmine and I were giving him a lift. Weren't we?
Jasmine: We were. Where did he go?
Gwen: (annoyed) Oh, wonderful. Now what?
Lindsay: Oh no! Not Omar!
Shawn: We'll have to find him so we can have everyone on our team cross the finish line! And on top of that, he doesn't have the endurance or the stamina to survive an undead attack!
Jasmine: You guys go ahead, I'll look for him! (she runs off into the forest to find him, when Zoey returns)
Cameron: Zoey! What is it?
Zoey: It's Mike! He's back!
Cameron: Mike's back? But how?
Zoey: I don't know, but he said he couldn't summon his other personalities after he faceplanted into the dock, and that Mal has taken full control of him.
Cameron: Oh my gosh! That's terrible! Anything else?
Zoey: I think Mike is the only one who can beat Mal, I don't know.
Cameron: I think the reason Mike is back might be because of the blue harvest moon.
Zoey: (worried) Then I hope he stays Mike long enough for us to catch up with him!
(Meanwhile, Jasmine is on her own, searching for Owen)
Jasmine: Owen! Owen! Where is that wily dingo?
Owen: (spots Jasmine) Huh? Do the adventurer's senses deceive him? Or has he found his brethren?
Jasmine: Owen! There you are mate! Why did you wander off like that?
Owen: I didn't! I lost my footing and my way.
Jasmine: Never mind. We gotta catch up with the rest of the team! Come on, follow me! (she runs ahead while Owen is exhausted)
Owen: More running? Can't I find a food court first? I'm starving!
(Later, the Heroes reach the gorge where the bridge is out)
Lindsay: Uh, there's no bridge here! How are we supposed to get across?
Sky: We'll just have to get creative.
Lindsay: (nervous) Creative?
Brick: (salutes) Affirmative. And I know exactly how we're gonna do it.
Cameron: (confessional) It's so much better to have Brick leading the charge instead of Jo. After season 4, I learned an important lesson. To not be the mouse that the gorillas try to squash.
(Brick grabs a vine and everyone else holds on for dear life)
Zoey: Are you sure about this Brick?
Brick: Affirmative! If we swing with enough momentum, we will all reach the other end of the gorge.
Geoff: Righteous!
Lindsay: What if the vine snaps?
Brick: It won't! This one is very sturdy! Now, on the count of 3, we swing! (everyone gets ready) 1...2...3! (they all swing across the gorge, but they barely reach the other side! Brick grabs the edge with his hands, and holds onto the vine with his teeth! His teammates have a frightening view of the gorge below!
Gwen: Climb! (they all slowly start to climb the vine to the top. Brick doesn't let go!)
Sky: Brick! Whatever you do, don't let go! (they keep climbing)
(Meanwhile, Owen and Jasmine are on their own. Owen is tired and hungry)
Jasmine: You can't be tired already mate!
Owen: (gasping for air) I'm starving! I'd kill for the hotel food right now.
Jasmine: We gotta reach the finish line first! Come on! (she lifts him up and carries him in her arms)
Owen: (tired) There's pizzicatos playing in my string section.
Jasmine: Uh...yeah. Lovely string section there. I hear a melody. (confessional) He needs to lay off the crunchy creme donuts.
Owen: (confessional) If I don't make it, tell Izzy I miss her! And mom and dad, and Johnny and Gavin, and- (cut off)
(Meanwhile, the other Heroes made it to the top of the gorge)
Sky: I hope Owen and Jasmine are okay.
Lindsay: What happened to them?
Geoff: Owen got lost and I think Jasmine went back for him.
Lindsay: Oooh, I hope they didn't get eaten by bears!
Gwen: Uh, with the weird moon, bears would be shy and gentle. Not aggressive and violent.
Lindsay: Are you sure? That doesn't sound right.
(Jasmine and Owen arrive at the gorge where the bridge is out)
Jasmine: There they are!
Owen: How do we get across?
Jasmine: Swing!
Owen: Swing?
Jasmine: Yeah! Grab a vine and make like Tarzan! (Jasmine grabs a vine with one hand, while still carrying Owen in her arm. Despite his weight and girth, Jasmine is determined to not let go!)
Gwen: (spots them) Hey, look!
Geoff: Owen!
Shawn: Jasmine!
Lindsay: Yay! They're okay!
Brick: Well done, teammate! Let's move! (they run as fast as they can to catch up to the Villains, who hold the lead. Suddenly, the moon sends out another radiation wave, and returns to its normal state. The animals return to normal as a result)
Alejandro: The moon curse has ended.
Heather: You think we don't know that, Blahlejandro?
Alejandro: (confessional) She is so rude and overbearing...what a relief!
(As the moon returned to normal, Mike became Mal again)
Mal: Looks like the baddest bastard alive has returned. (snickers evilly)
Duncan: (confessional) Oh, he's a bad bastard alright. He was running juvie like he didn't have a care in the world! Seriously, he was making all the jacked up lunatics look like a joke! (shudders)
(most of the campers cross the finish line. Mal, Owen and Jasmine have yet to cross. Jasmine is carrying Owen and running with every ounce of strength she has! They are neck and neck until...Mal crosses the finish line an inch ahead of Jasmine and Owen!)
Chris: And the Villains win! Again! (The Villains cheer and the Heroes groan. Scott and Courtney hug each other! Then, they realize what they're doing and pull away awkwardly)
Mike: (confessional/holding a boulder over his head) I don't know how I got here, but I have a monster to stop! (he drops the boulder on top of himself, awakening Mal again! Mal laughs evilly)
Mal: Bravo Mike. That should keep him quiet for a while.
(In Mike's subconscious, Mike is chained to a boulder!)
Mike: Oh no! Oh no! No no no no no! NOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Later, Zoey meets up with Duncan before the ceremony)
Zoey: Hey Duncan, we need to talk. It's about Mike.
Duncan: You mean Mal?
Zoey: Yeah, Mal too.
Duncan: Why are you telling me?
Zoey: Because you and Alejandro were the only ones to react to him. Therefore, there must be some sort of connection between you two.
Duncan: Okay, I'll spill. When I was in juvie, so was Mike.
Zoey: What? Mike was in juvie?
Duncan: Yeah. Only back then, his name was Mal. And I think he thrived in juvie, because he would start chaos just for the sake of it!
Zoey: So, has he recognized you at all?
Duncan: Not really. Because I steered clear of him.
Zoey: Well, he has stirred up quite a bit of trouble already. Sierra's phone and Cameron's glasses got broken, and he's the prime suspect.
Duncan: Sounds like Mal to me.
Zoey: And not like Mike.
Duncan: I'll say.
Zoey: So, what do you think I should do?
Duncan: Run.
Zoey: I don't know...I just have to bring my boyfriend back.
Duncan: It's no use. It's only between Mike and Mal. You can try, but I don't recommend it.
Zoey: Well, okay. I'm glad we had this talk. You know, you're not as bad as you look. You seem, nice.
Duncan: (facepalm) Oh brilliant.
Zoey: (giggles) It's nothing to be ashamed of.
Duncan: It is if you're a big bad thug from the street.
Zoey: Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.
Duncan: Good.
(they shake hands. From afar, Gwen sees them)
Gwen: (confessional) Duncan and Zoey? What could that be about? I'm sure it's not that big a deal. I mean, Duncan likes me. Still, I have to find out.
Zoey: (confessional) Duncan is actually a nice guy! I feel better knowing I have another ally who can help me with Mal.
Duncan: (confessional) Do I have to spell it out for you? I'm not nice! Get it through your thick skulls, dammit! Ugh!
(Later, the Villains are seated in the peanut gallery and the Heroes are seated in front of the fire)
Chris: Welcome back! The Villains won the challenge, so they get to spend another night of luxurious luxury at the spa hotel. Before the Heroes get voting, I need a Villain to volunteer for exile.
Mal: I'll do it. (he whistles "In the Hall of the Mountain King" as he leaves. Duncan shudders)
Chris: Okay Heroes, you got some voting to do. (the Heroes cast their votes)
Chris: And the votes are in! The following Heroes are safe. Geoff, Gwen, Zoey, Sky, Shawn, Cameron, Brick, Lindsay. (they get marshmallows) Owen and Jasmine, you're on the edge. For getting separated from your team and missing the finish line by an inch. The final marshmallow goes to...(Owen and Jasmine wait anxiously) Jasmine.
Owen: What?
(Alejandro grins evilly)
Chris: Sorry big guy. You're out.
Owen: Aw man! I'm sorry guys.
Lindsay: It's okay Omar! We'll see you again!
Gwen: (comforting) Sorry Owen.
Owen: It's okay. Now I can go home and eat freely! And it was nice to see ya again Al! Al? Al? Al! Al?
(Alejandro's eye is twitching with anger)
Zoey: O-kay, I think he's had enough. Bye Owen. It's been fun.
Brick: (salutes) Farewell.
(Owen salutes as he walks the dock of shame and boards the boat of losers. His teammates wave goodbye to him and he waves goodbye as the boat takes him away)
Chris: I'm gonna miss that party animal. Who will be the next to walk down this lame dock? What will tomorrow hold for Duncan and Gwen? Will Mike be able to defeat his enemy within? Tune in next time on a brand new exciting episode of TOTAL! DRAMA! ALL-STARS! McLean out.
(epilogue)
(Zoey and Cameron meet up with Duncan outside the cabins)
Zoey: We're all here for the same thing, right?
Duncan and Cameron: Mal.
Zoey: Good.
(they start collaborating and discussing a plan)
Zoey: (confessional) I know it's probably silly of me to make an inter-team alliance with someone, but if I'm going to bring Mike back once and for all, I need all the help I can get!
Cameron: (confessional) Since Duncan knew Mal from juvie, he's sure to give us more insight on how to stop that monster.
Duncan: (confessional) If anyone thinks I'm going soft by making a deal with 2 spineless goody-goodies just to help them with the same problem I have, there's gonna be knuckle sandwiches to come! (he gets up close to the camera) Are you listening out there? If you think I'm turning into a teddy bear, I'll find you!
(Meanwhile, Courtney snuck over to the girls' side of the loser cabin where the Heroes are sleeping. She sees Gwen through the window)
Courtney: (confessional) If Gwen and I don't have to have a heart-to-heart soon, she could be feeling miserable for the rest of her life! And then I'll feel miserable because I never talked to her! Well, here it goes...
(All stealthy like, Courtney snuck in and put a note under Gwen's pillow. Then she leaves the cabin quickly and quietly. Gwen woke up and sat up. She looks around to see the other female Heroes sleeping. Courtney was gone. Gwen goes back to sleep)
(credits)
ELIMINATION ORDER
PRE-MERGE
22nd: Sugar
21st: Max
20th: Jo
19th: Sierra
18th: Owen