Turning Swallow

Summary:

OR, One morning, four-year-old Sasaki Kojiro remembers a life not yet lived, and decides to do something about it. History changes. SI!Sasaki Kojiro. Expect general lightheartedness, but dark topics when the time comes.

CH. 10 START

Stepping from the entrance to his hut, Kojiro took in a deep breath, sucking in freezing morning air. He was dressed rather laxly, having left his house with only his sleepwear on. He pulled his new nodachi from its sheath intent on getting some practice with his new blade, but before he could do much at all, he heard the pounding of feet against hard dirt and turned to meet his visitor. A man ran into the clearing, panting and out-of-breath. This was Kagekatsu, Seigen's nephew who he often sparred with. He opened his mouth to speak, before coughing and leaning against a tree to catch his breath. Seeing this, Kojiro passed the man a cup of water that he'd been saving for after his practice, patting Kagekatsu on the back as he hacked his lungs out.

In an amused tone, Kojiro teased his friend, saying, "Kagekatsu! What's got you in such a rush? Surely not the thought of sparring with me? As I recall, I won the last bout."

The man looked at him, a frown crossing his face, and Kagekatsu choked out, "No. Not that. Something serious. My uncle."

Kojiro's amusement vanished like dust in the wind, and the pit in his stomach formed again. With a sinking feeling pooling in his gut, he asked, "What's going on, Kagekatsu? Speak slowly."

His friend took another sip of water, draining the cup, before answering, "Something's happened to the Grandmaster. My father went into his room and came out asking me to fetch you. I don't know what for. He looked more serious than I've ever seen him before, though. Get changed and come! I'll wait for you."

A grimace crossed Kojiro's expression and he moved to dress himself properly. Over the loose hanjuban undershirt and the suteteko long johns, he slipped on a juban, an article kimono-esque piece of clothing to prevent the dirtying of kimonos via sweat, before putting on an actual kimono. Over that, he put on a haori jacket to finish the ensemble. Half of being a samurai was looking the part, after all, and given the importance of what seemed to be going on, he had to dress formally. He attached his wooden sword and his new blade to his waist, using the usw-obi sash, before tearing from his hut and down the stairs. Kagekatsu saw him coming and turned to lead the way. They sprinted through the forest, at times ducking low to avoid shrubs and at times dodging to the sides to avoid overgrown shrubs. When they got to the gates of the Toda Dojo, he followed Kagekatsu in dashing through, their passage unbarred by the guards. Seigen's residence was some ways away from the main of the Dojo Complex, in a private corner with its own meditation gardens. It was to the northwest of the main building, hidden around a copse of small trees. This was actually the first time he'd visited the building and it was far less ostentatious than what it could have been. It was a house similar enough to any other one could find in Ichijodani, simply built of better quality materials. The rest of the Toda Clan lived in a far grander place, in the center of town. Only Seigen, Kagematsu, and Kagemasa lived here.

Speaking of Kagemasa, the man was waiting outside of the building, an unsettled look on his face. Spotting Kojiro, the older man hurried over.

"There you are, Kojiro," Kagemasa exclaimed lowly, "I've been waiting for you."

In a similar tone of voice, Kojiro voiced his concerns, "Uncle, what's going on here? What happened?"

An uneasy look crossed Kagemasa's face as he explained the situation, "I'm not entirely sure, I'll be honest. Seigen didn't show up like he usually does for our morning tea sessions so I went looking for him. When I found him here, all he did was ask to see you."

Kagemasa began pushing Kojiro forward, saying, "Go on in and check on him. See what he needs. Perhaps the weather's gotten to him. He's in the second room along the hallway to the left, quickly!"

Kojiro nodded, and with urgency in his movement, made his way up the small set of stairs and into the house. The doorway led to a small common room, with a tea set already laid out on a table surrounded by cushions. His eyes shot to the left, seeing the hall, and he moved to it, ignoring the rest of the room. Kojiro made sure to remain quiet as he approached Seigen's door, to try and avoid disturbing him. He slipped into the room, pulling the door shut behind him. Seigen was lying on a bed, raised about a foot off of the ground. As he observed, the pit in his stomach grew heavier and heavier. The old man looked worse than Kojiro had ever seen hit, with a sickly pallor to his skin and his face looking gaunt.

Softly, Kojiro announced himself, "You called for me?"

The man didn't respond and for a moment, Kojiro thought that Seigen had died, passed away in the half hour he'd taken to get here. His limbs were cold, and when he went to feel for a pulse, he didn't feel one for several seconds, before a slow beat caught his attention.

Then, Seigen opened his eyes, peering through blurry eyes at Kojiro. He stared for a few moments, before lighting up on recognizing Kojiro's face. He tried to pull himself up from the bed, and Kojiro, noticing that Seigen was struggling, moved to help. After some difficulty, Seigen sat straight up, leaning against the wall. He put a hand on Kojiro's shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly, but despite that, he could sense how frail the old mana was from how weak the grip had been.

With a low rasp in his voice, Seigen spoke, "Ah, Kojiro. I see that Kagemasa finally found you. How have you been?

Kojiro replied quickly, eyes narrowing in concern and suspicion,"I am just as well as I was yesterday. I think I should be asking you that, Grandfather. You're pale."

Seigen sighed deeply, shoulders heavy with the burden of having had so long a life, and said, "I'm afraid not Kojiro. When I woke up this morning, I realized just how tired I was."

Despite his fears being all but confirmed, Kojiro spoke, praying to be wrong, "Tired? Have you not slept well over the last few days? Are you sick?"

Seigen glanced at Kojiro with a raised eyebrow, chuckling dryly, before speaking in an admonishing tone.

"Come now, Kojiro," the old man said, "There's no need to act like that now. I don't need you to play the fool."

Kojiro's racing mine paused, his thoughts racing, and said in a confused tone, "What do you mean?"

Seigen frowned at the comment, before ruffling Kojiro's hair in the same manner one would confront a particularly upset puppy, saying, "Ignorance is a bad look on you, boy. It doesn't suit you. I've known that there was something up with you since the first moment we met in the dojo. You spoke far too well for a mere child. You were three steps too serious too. It was as if the immature Kojiro I'd grown used to had disappeared in the blink of an eye and you were his replacement."

With his deception laid out so plainly by the old man, Kojiro chuckled nervously, but sought an explanation, asking, "Then why bother-?"

Seigen cut his question off, preempting him by saying, "If you're going to ask why I accepted your excuse anyways, it's because you didn't act like some wicked spirit. You've been too earnest and eager for that. You were still the brat I took in, even if you seemed to have grown up far too quickly. If you are, you're the best damn actor in the world. Regardless, I don't think a malevolent spirit could have kept its patience through all of the training I put you through.

His throat suddenly going dry, Kojiro responded to the confession, saying, "Ah. I…thank you again, Grandfather."

Segien returned to his previous topic, "Like I said, Kojiro, I feel so tired all of the sudden. Like my years have already begun to come to an end."

Kojiro shook his head in a refutement of that statement, offering, "Don't you have quite a few years left? You're perfectly healthy, no?"

The old man nodded, but shrugged and said, "I have a few more, I'm sure, but I know they won't be good ones. I'm going blind, if you didn't know. The physicians and priests can do nothing, declaring that it is a curse for my slaughter of the Azai clan. Every night that I sleep, I fear my vision will have slipped away in the dark and I will wake a blind man. For a man like me, that is my greatest fear. To have something so vital taken, just like that. I can do nothing to stop this disease. I feel as though I have now done everything that a relic like me can do. My clan has been avenged, their slaughterers slaughtered in turn, and I've successfully raised a successor."

Kojiro tried to refute Seigen's point, declaring, "The Dojo still needs you, as do I."

Seigen laughed again, a hollow and exhausted thing, before remarking, "I've seen the way that you look at the forests and the mountains. You long to explore them, to see more than what you've seen in this little town. You'd have left soon enough, regardless of my presence. I don't blame you. I've done the same. As for my legacy, I've already written all of it down for Kagemasa to handle after I'm gone. The Toda Dojo will be in fine hands, with my younger brother and his son to manage it."

With a trembling hand, he pointed a thin finger at a desk in the corner of a room, instructing Kojiro to fetch a trio of scrolls from its drawers. Kojiro did so, returning swiftly to Seigen's side once he'd accomplished the request. Seigen received the scrolls and placed them lightly on the bed, before picking one up and handing it to Kojiro.

The scroll he'd been given was a large thing, wrapped neatly with a blue ribbon emblazoned with his name.

As Kojiro looked at the scroll, Seigen spoke about it, commenting, "This is for you. I began writing it when I first took you under my wing, in case I found myself falling prey to my sickness faster than expected. In it, I left a note for you, in case we didn't have a chance to get this talk, as well as my understanding and experience with how to gain Embodiment. You've probably noticed that I've prevented you from learning Toda-ryu in its entirety. It was not meant as an offense, I hope you understand. I expect great things from you, and adhering to my style of swordplay will only limit your potential."

Kojiro protested, opening his mouth to refute the statement, "Grandfather, you-!"

Seigen scoffed, saying, "You've gone from novice to master in as little as five years. I was worse at twenty than you are now. Don't deny that."

He pressed the other two scrolls into Kojiro's arms as well, explaining, "The scroll with the red ribbon contains the legacy I mean to leave for this Dojo, now that its founder is passing on. The black ribbon is for my brother. Give it to him for me, please."

Kojiro protested, stating, "Uncle is right outside the building. I can fetch him so he can receive the scroll himself. Would that not be better?"

Seigen shook his head, "No, Kojiro, it wouldn't. I've already said my goodbyes in that scroll, and I'm loath to force my brother to send me off twice."

Kojiro lowered his head sadly, speaking quietly, "This is it then? Just like this, Grandfather?"

Seigen nodded with a wry grin, "Just like this. It's a better end than most of my status could expect, to be honest. I've lived my life to the fullest, doing as I wanted all the while. Though, if you'll allow an old man one more indulgence?"

Kojiro nodded immediately, as he vocalized his reply, "Anything, Grandfather."

Seigen's eyes began to droop, and the old warrior said, "Just that. Don't call me Grandfather anymore. If you would do me the honor of calling me father instead, I would be grateful. I've come to love you as much as I did my own child, despite the lack of blood connection."

Though Seigen didn't see it, Kojiro shook his head, whispering, "Me calling you Father would not be an indulgence, but a just reward. Father, you have treated me far better than any of my blood could claim to have treated me. I was left in the snow to die, but it was you who gave me life. The blood of the covenant you have blessed me with is far greater than the water of whatever womb I came from. Toda Seigen, you are my only Father."

Seigen's face shifted into a smile, and he took a deep breath, murmuring sleepily, "That's good to hear, Kojiro. Listen to me. I can feel the land of the dead, Yomi, calling me already. I'll be leaving soon. When I see you in the afterlife, I expect to be regaled with stories of my grandchildren, understood?"

Weakly, Kojiro gasped out, "Understood, Father."

Seigen nodded, saying, "You're a good kid, Kojiro. Live long and live well, my son."

Kojiro's father took one last shuddering breath, before Seigen shrunk in on himself as he exhaled for the last time. With that breath, some vital thing seemed to have left Seigen's form, and when Kojiro extended a tentative hand to the old man's neck, there was no pulse, no matter how long Kojiro kept his hand there. With tears still unshed, Kojiro spoke a small prayer for Seigen's spirit, before pulling his kodachi from where it rested on his hip. He placed it on the bed, closing Seigen's hand around the sheath, before rising. He bowed to Seigen, one last time, as deeply and sincerely as he could, before gathering up the scrolls and fleeing from the room. He shut the door behind him, just as tears began to fall silently from his eyes. He stood there for a few moments, tears staining the floor, before he made his way out of the house, reality finally setting in. As the history books would later write, Toda Seigen, famed samurai and lord of the Echizen Province, was dead. He had gone peacefully, surrounded not by the enemies he had made nor the family he restored, but by his adopted son, Sasaki Kojiro.

Tears still dripping down his face, Kojiro stepped from the building and Kagemasa was there to greet him. He paused mid-word, upon seeing Kojiro's tear streaked face.

He rushed up to Kojiro, grabbing him by the shoulders and looking him in the eyes, "Kojiro! What happened in there? Is Seigen alright? What are those scrolls?"

Kojiro's reply came out as a whisper, too mentally exhausted to speak loudly, muttering, "Father said that he was too tired. That he'd done all that he could, and needed, to do. His body's in his room; I bore witness to the moment his spirit traveled to Yomi. He was at peace, I think, for the first time in a very long while."

Kagemasa was shocked, and he froze.

He spoke in a quiet and stunned tone, "Seigen…is dead?"

It wasn't really a question, more a denial of reality, much as Kojiro had done moments earlier. He pushed through his sympathy to fulfill Seigen's last requests, handing over the two scrolls, explaining as he did so.

"These are for you. The red ribbon is the legacy that Seigen has left for the Dojo. The black ribbon is his farewell to you."

Kagemasa nodded numbly, saying, "You said he died peacefully?"

Kojiro grinned through the tears, trying to project relief, "Yes. I watched him pass. He had a smile on his face. It was like watching a man go to sleep. Please don't disturb him too much with some large funeral. I don't think he wanted to disturb anyone. That's why he went on here."

Kagemasa nodded absently, before focusing and directing a nod at Kojiro, asking, "Was there anything else?"

Kojiro took the chance to speak, replying, "There are two, if you would hear them?"

Kagemasa gestured for Kojiro to speak, and he did so, saying, "The first is that I have returned the blade that Father gifted to me to his side. Please bury Father with it, I wish to provide him some comfort in the afterlife."

Kagemasa nodded in approval, asking, "And the second?"

Kojiro paused for a moment before offering, "If possible, I'd like for Father's accomplishments to be compiled and sent across the country. His deeds, like the eradication of the Azai clan, should be remembered, not lost in the sands of time. If there is no record of a man's deeds, did he really exist?"

Kagemasa processed the idea, before a sad grin split his face. The man nodded in approval of the thought, saying, "Yes, that's it! If Seigen's deeds and thoughts are preserved, his memory will remain with us for all eternity. Kojiro, I will do as you have suggested. If there's nothing else, I suggest that you rest. Seeing Seigen pass must have taken its toll."

Kagemasa was obviously in a serious mood, needing to not only deal with the fallout of Seigen's death, but also having to deal with his own emotions over his brother's death. Kojiro couldn't imagine what the man was going through, not even having time to grieve.

His uncle stilled before, asking, "He's just in there, right? I have much to think about, and I wish to see him one last time."

Kojiro nodded, for that was all he could do, before walking away.