Severus cleared his throat to earn Emilia's attention but she was absorbed with her reading. Her brows were knitted and a finger continuously tapping on her chin.
"Miss Rosier," Severus called.
"Hmm?"
"You might want to look up for this."
Emilia lifted her head, meeting Severus' uncomfortable gaze. "What is it?"
"There's a non-negotiable requirement here," Severus began.
"Oh, the consummation of marriage?" Emilia commented casually.
Severus frowned, expecting a bigger reaction, presumably on the part where she walked out and never to return. "Yes…"
Emilia turned puzzled. Her brows furrowed deeper. "Is there something wrong?"
Severus cleared his throat. "I – you do understand what this means?"
She nodded slowly. "I do, yes. Sex."
"Mm," Severus mumbled, feeling a little stupid that he even asked. He returned to his papers, head bowed down and hoped the lank of his hair would cover his embarrassment.
"Severus?"
"Hmm?"
There was some hesitation before Emilia spoke up. "Are you – do you not want to consummate the marriage?"
Severus sighed softly, massaging the bridge of his nose. "I would think you wouldn't want to. It seemed rather forceful. An intimate act shouldn't be coerced," he explained, a tad self-conscious.
Emilia nodded empathically. "I understand that but I'm amenable to it. Honestly. Sex is quite natural, innate part of being human. If it's alright with you, it doesn't have to be a one- off act."
Severus' head shot up so quickly. Eyes wide. "I beg your pardon?"
Emilia flushed a pretty pink. "Well, it's healthy and we would be married. I do not see why we couldn't…" she stammered before briskly adding, "unless, you don't want to. That's perfectly fine as well."
Severus was not a man easily shocked but there he was absolutely bewildered. Not a hint of derision. Not a modicum of disgust.
Did she really just say that?
Merlin, she really did.
"I don't –"
"Just think it over!" Emilia interjected hurriedly, before promptly fixing her gaze back on the parchment.
"Of course," Severus mumbled.
The silence was prolonged.
"There's another term we can't escape," Emilia voiced meekly.
Severus' heart nearly fell. He swallowed convulsively. "Well?"
"We'll have to go to St Mungo's for a medical check-up. A general well-being examination but more precisely to check on our reproductive systems," she explained.
Severus could feel his heartbeat calm down. "We should go today."
She nodded. "It says here if either party has reproductive defects, they will be struck off the list."
"I see."
Emilia nibbled on her lower lips. "What if I'm deficient?"
Severus' brows were lowered. "Why would you assume that?"
Absentmindedly, she picked at the light scar on her inner wrist. "It's something I have on my body. Could I … Could I show you?"
"Certainly."
Emilia rose to her feet. "In the bedroom, if that's possible?"
Severus nodded, gesturing ahead. "I'll follow."
Emilia guided Severus to sit on the edge of the bed. There was confusion in his eyes but he kept silent, observing the witch who was nervously wringing her hands.
"You don't have to if you're uncomfortable, Miss Rosier," Severus said in a reassuring tone.
She shook her head. "It would be better if you could assess it before we leave for St Mungo's."
"Alright."
Emilia deftly unlooped the buttons of her lengthen shirt, starting from the bottom which was immediately stopped by Severus.
His hand covered hers.
"What are you doing? This isn't appropriate –"
"Please, I need to show you," Emilia murmured shakily, tears of humiliation were brimming in her eyes.
Severus softened. "What is it? What's wrong?"
She let out a frustrated groan, finding it hard to undo the last few buttons with her vision blurry with tears.
"May I?"
"Please."
"Tell me to stop."
Carefully, Severus helped unbutton the shirt. He focused on the tiny, white buttons, not on the smooth, fair skin that was revealed to him. He unfastened the button just above her belly button before Emilia muttered, "stop."
She pushed down the side of her panties, exposing the fox tattoo on her right hip.
"Here. This is Arius' Patronus. The tattoo has some magical properties. I believe his magical signature is imbued in it. I… I don't know if this would affect my medical examination. It was stupid, it was foolish of me to –" Emilia tried to explain but was overwhelmed with emotions.
Severus took her hand, thumb caressing her knuckles."It's alright. It's alright."
"Could you check, please?"
"Am I permitted to touch you?" He asked.
Emilia nodded hastily. "Ye–yes."
Severus allowed his fingers to skim along the slightly raised skin, feeling her tense under his touch. He removed his fingers, tipping his head up to meet her eyes.
There was palpable panic in those honeyed orbs. Tears had streamed down her cheek. "Just tell me if it will affect my marriage to you. Please," she pleaded.
Severus was concerned, to say the least. Then, it dawned on him that her fear stemmed from rejection. He stood to his feet, holding Emilia by her shoulders, feeling the slight tremble in her body.
"I need you to calm down for me, Miss Rosier," Severus said gently.
"It's bad. It's bad, isn't it? You don't want me anymore," she muttered, withdrawing but Severus held on firmly.
"That's not true. I want you."
Emilia shook her head. "Arius never liked it if he knew I was even near another man. And this…this mark is proof that I belonged to him. You wouldn't like that. Men wouldn't like their women to be shared."
"Miss Ro — Emilia," Severus began. "It doesn't matter to me. I have made my choice. You're to be my wife and it doesn't mean I own you. You belong to no one except yourself."
Emilia's eyes were wide. "You wouldn't abandon me? Wouldn't leave?"
Severus breathed out softly. "I wouldn't. No."
Emilia launched into his arms, burrowing her face close to his neck.
"Thank you. Thank you."
Severus did stiffen up, as one would be when unaccustomed to physical touch, but he relaxed much faster than before. He stood still, his arms by his side but his eyes were closed for a brief moment when the deep scent of tangerine wafted up into his nose.
His shampoo had never smelt so wonderful. Fresh and warm. Sweeter than orange.
Emilia pulled away after a while.
"Sorry," she muttered, embarrassed. She wiped away her tears and quickly rebuttoned her clothes.
Severus took a step back, putting a respectable distance between them. "If you're concerned about the magical properties embedded, I know someone that could take a look," he explained, trying to ignore the warmth that surrounded his body after her embrace.
"Someone in St Mungos?"
"Yes, a former colleague. She's trustworthy," Severus affirmed.
Emilia breathed out, relieved. "Could we go now?"
Severus nodded. "Soon. I'll have to take a shower first."
"Oh," Emilia mumbled. Her cheeks turned pink before she hurriedly made a beeline out to the door. "I'll clear the breakfast trays."
"You don't have to."
She smiled. "I insist."
They entered through the main Floo network of the St Mungo's hospital. The general wing where the crowds were large enough and many passed by each other without a second glance unless of course, they were Severus Snape.
He wore his signature all-black ensemble – cloak, cravat, trousers and boots. With an equally fearsome scowl that inadvertently parted the sea of people just as easily when he walked. The onlookers continued to gape at Severus as he moved past them, most did not take notice of the woman behind him.
"We would like to see Poppy Pomfrey," Severus said in a hushed tone at the young receptionist behind the counter.
A Hufflepuff he remembered teaching.
"Yes, sir. She's not with any patients now. Straight ahead, the fourth door from the right."
Severus gave a curt nod. "Thank you, Miss Hart."
A rap on the door, followed by a friendly – "come in!" was heard.
"Ah, Severus. What brings you here?" The older witch greeted.
"Poppy. This is Miss Rosier," Severus introduced.
The witches shook hands and exchanged polite pleasantries. Although, there was an unmissable smirk that upturned the corners of the older witch's mouth.
"So, how can I help?"
"We are here for a check-up. The Ministry mandated examination," Severus said in a low tone.
The sparks behind Poppy's eyes were apparent and the Potion Master had the tiniest urge to throttle the witch had she not been the one caring for his injuries for the past year.
She was far too obvious.
"Alright. Who's going first?" Poppy asked, maintaining her professional decorum.
"If I could, Madam?" Emilia answered.
"Of course. Go through there," she pointed to the small room connected to the office. "You'll have to remove all articles of clothing and put on the robe I have on the bed. I'll be with you shortly."
Emilia glanced towards Severus, smiling at him and mouthing about the tattoo. He nodded in tacit acknowledgement, silently gesturing for her to enter the room.
Once the door was closed, Severus turned to Poppy who looked like she was about to burst at the seams with questions.
"Not now," Severus said sternly.
Poppy tutted softly, rolling her eyes. "She seems great. Good for you, boy," she complimented.
Severus felt an odd swell of pride rise in his chest that he instantly pushed down. "She needs your expertise. Far beyond what's required from the Ministry."
A curious brow was lifted. "Oh?"
Severus cleared his throat. The itchiness on his scars returned. "Yes. Well, she has a tattoo on her right hip. She wants you to appraise its magical properties. Emi – Miss Rosier is worried about it."
Poppy narrowed her eyes, unused to seeing the man flustered. She could actually see some pink on his cheeks. "Why –"
"She just needs it checked, alright!" Severus snapped, sensing the intense scrutiny he was about to go through.
Poppy pursed her lips together in displeasure. Though, unfazed by the wizard's temper. "What is this really about, Severus?"
Severus exhaled slowly. He hated what he had to reveal for it was not his story to tell. But, the information was crucial and there was no one more trustworthy than the Matron that had taken care of him since he was eleven.
"Miss Rosier was subjected to abuse. Physical and emotional abuse. That mark on her hip might be tattooed on with nefarious intentions by her ex-fiancé. It is wise to have it checked."
Poppy inhaled a sharp breath. "I see. Rest assured, Miss Rosier will be well taken care of."
Severus nodded. "Thank you."
Poppy could sense the wizard's unease. She conjured a cup of water with an extra calming antidote, sending it to float to her desk.
"Sit down and drink. All will be well."
With that, the matron left for the adjacent room.
Emilia laid down on an inclined bed, wearing the hospital-issued lilac gown. The curtains around the bed were drawn close. The space was bare, except for a small trolley on right of the bed and the awfully white blinding light.
The seconds grew into minutes, her anxiety inched higher as time went by before a click was heard.
"How are you feeling today, Miss Rosier?" Poppy asked.
"Good," Emilia replied.
"Severus tells me about a concern you have."
The nervous energy in her body wound tighter. She nodded silently, not wanting to speak up lest her words came out in stutters.
Poppy snapped on latex gloves. "Show me."
Emilia untied the gown by her waist, allowing the tattooed portion to be shown. The matron lightly pressed the tip of her wand against the skin, murmuring a spell that unveiled the layers of the tattoo in blue light.
Poppy carefully analysed the properties. "It's nothing to worry about, Miss Rosier. It could be easily removed by any magical tattoo proprietor. If you must know, there's only a tracking element embedded within the tattoo and I have a reliable friend to help you with that."
Emilia let out a shuddering breath. "Thank you, Madam. Thank you."
Poppy placed a reassuring hand atop of hers. "Call me Poppy. A friend of Severus is a friend of mine."
Emilia felt her body relax, sinking into the bed. "Thank you, Poppy."
"Now, could we proceed with the rest of the examination?"
"Yes, please."
A flurry of wand-waving, vitals and body scans appeared all around Emilia. She tried to read some of the scans but found most to be covered in medical jargon. Poppy busied herself, jumping from one ultrasound scan to another. Her magicked clipboard and quill followed her, jotting copious notes at fevered speed.
Then, there was only silence when Poppy studied a scan.
Emilia closed her eyes and willed for her heart to slow down. Reminding herself that the matron was doing her job, checking thoroughly on her well-being but her gut was telling her that something was wrong.
"Miss Rosier," Poppy called.
Emilia could detect the change in her tone. It was no longer warm. The voice possessed a clinical, cold tone, the one they used when disclosing a medical problem.
"Is something wrong?"
"Well –"
"Could Severus be here?"
A slight pause. "If you wish."
"I do, please. Yes," Emilia's voice came out shaky. She did not know when Severus had become her source of comfort.
Soft footfalls were heard entering the room. His presence was felt by her side. Emilia opened her eyes and saw the concern etched across his features.
"I need you," Emilia murmured.
Severus nodded, turning to face Poppy who had a look of surprise and curiosity. She had never seen the wizard agree to something, especially not the request of a stranger so easily.
"Poppy?"
"Ah, yes. Miss Rosier, I'll be asking personal questions. Will that be alright with you? It will help determine my diagnosis."
Her fingers bunched around the rough fabric of the gown. "Alright."
"Were you pregnant last year?"
Emilia's face turned a shade paler. "Ye–yes."
"What happened to the fetus?"
"I miscarried."
"How?"
Emilia's lips started trembling. Tears brimmed her eyes. She caught Severus' gaze. The line between his brows had a deep indent.
"Anything you tell us will be kept in confidence," he assured.
"It will change your mind," Emilia whispered faintly. She was certain that once she divulged the true horror of her experience, the wizard would flee in the other direction.
A wave of protectiveness swept over Severus. He noted that physical touch would bring the utmost comfort to the woman, based on the two occasions when she calmed down the instant he was in her proximity. Deciding quickly, he enclosed his hand over hers and gently squeezed. It was to provide her reassurance, he told himself. Her small hand in his larger ones meant nothing else.
"Many would find that my mind, once made up, is very difficult to mend. It is in my very nature to be as stubborn as possible."
Poppy chuckled, easing the heavy tension. "That is something I can attest to, Miss Rosier."
Emilia wet her lower lips.
"Alright."
That was the encouragement needed for her to speak up.
"Arius didn't know I was pregnant. It was an accident, I believe. He was angry about something I did. Can't remember what it was but it made him kick me several times."
The memory came back to haunt Emilia.
There was too much blood.
It stained her robes, the carpet that she laid on, beaten and subdued.
The pain was indescribable.
Releasing a quivering breath, Emilia continued, "he rushed me to the hospital when I started bleeding, more so than usual. The doctor declared that I had a miscarriage. The baby couldn't be saved."
Severus felt the boiling anger inside him. But, a trained spy he was, kept his feelings aside. They do not matter. He squeezed her hand periodically, giving her the much-needed support.
"How many times did that occur?" Poppy asked gently.
Emilia frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?"
Realisation dawned on the older witch. This would be hard on the woman already inflicted with so much. But, as her profession entailed, she must disclose all crucial medical information to her patient. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled, "Miss Rosier, based on my analysis here, you've had three miscarriages in a short span of fourteen months. The event you described was probably the third miscarriage when you were roughly ten weeks along. Previously, the miscarriage occurred at three and five weeks and might be construed as normal menstruation."
Emilia's eyes grew wide in shock.
"No…"
Her free hand instinctively rested upon her lower tummy.
"Your body did not recover well before you fell pregnant again. It seemed that each time physical trauma had induced the miscarriages. Unfortunately –"
"No. Please, no," Emilia murmured, tears glistening in her eyes. She grasped onto Severus' hand, tighter and tighter. As if he was the only person who could keep her grounded. A lifeline to her.
If Severus minded, he did not complain.
"Unfortunately," Poppy pressed on. "The recurrent pregnancy losses might indicate infertility. It means that any pregnancy thereafter would not carry to term. Your body is unable to take any more stress. I'm sorry, Miss Rosier."
The light in her eyes dimmed as Emilia took in the news. The hand that held on to Severus loosened before all contact ceased. Her gaze fell to her knees.
"You should go, Severus," she muttered defeatedly. "You deserve someone else. Not me… not a defective woman."
The statement hung in the air.
"Leave us," Severus said in a tone that brook no argument.
The clicking of Poppy's court shoes diminished as the door closed softly.
Emilia was crying quietly, facing away from Severus. Her shoulders were trembling but her lips were pressed tightly to avoid a single sound from escaping. Tears fell freely, darkening the lilac robe with droplets.
Severus sucked in a shallow breath before he acted uncharacteristically. He climbed into the narrow bed, his long legs were left to awkwardly dangle by the edge.
"Come here," he said.
"Just go, please," Emilia mumbled, though her voice came out in low, ragged sobs.
Severus carefully turned Emilia's body towards him before pulling her head to rest against his chest. A small sound of protest came from the back of Emilia's throat.
"Spare me the humiliation."
Severus tunnelled his fingers into the thick curls, pressing her face into the warmth of his chest. His lips lightly brushed against the crown of her hair. The faint fragrance of tangerine drifted into his nose and Severus inhaled deeply, unable to stop himself.
"I chose you, Emilia."
"But –"
"But nothing."
Emilia burst into tears, unable to control the sobs that wrecked throughout her body. A much-needed catharsis after years of being shamed and demeaned for her flaws. A purge of repressed emotions that broke free the moment Severus accepted all of her. For once, she felt safe, nestled in a blanket of security that was her husband-to-be's embrace.
Severus took Emilia back to Spinner's End later that afternoon. He guided her to sit on the armchair and a quiet incantation lit up the fire on the hearth, brightening the dark room with strokes of amber.
"I'll prepare lunch."
Emilia nodded. "Thank you."
Severus unclasped his cloak and draped the heavy material on her. "The temperature has gone down. It might get a little chilly. You don't want to catch a cold."
"Thank you, Severus."
He left her to ruminate.
Emilia's eyes were fixed upon the flames.
It was easy to get lost in the deep orange, flickering about unsteadily, mimicking a chaotic dance. It entranced and enraptured the audience, drawing them deeper, enclosed within the ring of fire, only to realise too late that the blazing heat had engulfed them. And all that was left were the charred remains.
The raging fire was an apt depiction of Emilia's relationship with Arius. It was passionate, ardent but all too consuming. Emilia was left to die in said turmoil, nearly burnt to ashes but Severus pulled her away just in time before the fire devoured her entirely.
Emilia wrapped his cloak around her body. The unmistakable whiff of bergamot relaxed her mind. A perfect pair to the tangerine scent that she adored.
"Miss Rosier?"
She looked up.
"Is chicken salad sandwich to your liking?"
A smile broke on her features. "Yes. It's my favourite."
Severus kept that in mind.
They ate in silence.
"There's only one term left to fulfil," Severus began, putting his empty plate down.
"Oh? What is it? I don't think I've read the last few pointers."
"To be married."
Emilia's heart stuttered. She appreciated his sentiment but there was no way they could go through with the marriage without violating its terms. "Severus, I should be struck off the list. I can't be married to you."
Severus shook his head. "I meant what I said about promises. I'm a stickler for them."
A small smile appeared on Emilia's lips. "I know. But, I'll not allow you to break the law."
Severus had a half-smirk. His dark eyes glinted with mischief that Emilia had not seen before. "Who says anything about breaking the law?"
"What?"
"I was a Potions Professor, having earned a Mastery in Potions at age twenty-five, the youngest wizard to achieve that honour. If anyone could ease your medical condition, who could better help?" Severus rationalised.
Emilia's brows were knitted. "You would do that? For me?"
He snorted softly. "Why wouldn't I?"
A tinge of blush coloured her cheeks. "Oh."
Severus cleared his throat, caught off guard for a few seconds. "Yes, well. I'll send an appeal directly to Minister Shacklebolt. We'll go from there."
Emilia nodded. "Thank you."
"You've thanked me enough, Miss Rosier," Severus said with a small smile, picking up the empty plates.
"Let me."
"It's alright. I can manage."
Emilia took over, clearing the plates away. "You made lunch. I'll clean up."
In a moment of courage, she tiptoed and pressed a quick kiss on Severus' cheek, catching sight of the wizard blinking rapidly with a slackened jaw.
A chuckle escaped her lips before she hurried to the kitchen.
Severus stood frozen before his hand came up to his right cheek. The heat of her kiss lingered on his skin. He could smell the tiniest scent of her raspberry lip balm.
"Merlin's bloody bollocks," he whispered.
His heart thundered against his chest and for once, it was not out of fear.