Lost Hope - Part 2

A/N: With this part, I'm going to need to add some trigger warnings. This chapter is filled with mental abuse, physical abuse, and references to suicide. If you are not comfortable with any of that, please leave this chapter now. However, if you are ready to finally know the full story, then buckle up your seatbelts, kids, because it is a doozy. And remember: All sentences in bold and italic lettering are things that have been said in previous chapters. Enjoy!

Sadly, Hope's progress was about to be tested. Hope's greatest test, which made the Maze Trials seem like a small and weak insect, was about to transpire. The day after Hope had had that conversation with Ava, Mara came home from one of her daily "appointments." And she wasn't the same. Anyone could see that something within Mara had shifted. Mara… just wasn't Mara anymore. She was someone different. Someone darker. Someone distant. Someone scared. That day, Hope walked into Mara's room and found someone that had turned… wicked.

"M-My word is pitch-black," Mara said, while looking down at the city with nothing but hatred and pain within her eyes. "I have no potential… Nothing… I-I'm just like you, Hope."

"What…" From where she stood behind Mara, Hope tilted her head innocently. "What do you mean, Mara?"

"That word… That word hope… I-It doesn't exist for me," Mara muttered. "I'm trapped in this pitch-black world. I have nothing. I'm… I'm sick. Why am I sick?"

"But you… You have Ava?" Hope acknowledged, thinking that her words would help. Oh, but they didn't. Not at all. "A-And you're super smart. Super pretty. You have a lot of potential. You have the whole world ahead of you, and it's waiting for you. You're… You're already so loved by the world."

"A-Am I?" Mara asked. "Am I really all those things?"

"Yes. Yes, of course, you are."

"Then… Then I'm nothing like you." But when Mara said this, her back straightened and her head rose to the sky. "We're nothing alike, Hope, because I'm not useless."

Hope blinked. "'Useless'?"

"Yes, useless," Mara said, her tone drenched in happiness. Then, Mara turned her head around to show Hope a smile drenched in that same happiness. "Y-You're my toy! My perfect, useless toy!"

Once again, Hope could only blink. "'Toy'? What do you- Mm!"

"You have nothing! You have no one!" Mara started shouting after pushing Hope to the ground. "You're the one with no potential or hope! You're the one that's going to be alone forever! You were thrown away by your own parents! Unloved, unloved, UNLOVED!"

That was the day it started. That was the day that Hope became lost - that all hope was lost. The negative language didn't stop, nor would it ever stop. Every day, Hope would hear that negative language fall from Mara's lips, and all Hope could do was take it. She'd sit in Mara's room, listening to her terrible, horrible language. And Hope simply took it like she did because of this deep, distant voice in her head. No, Hope's reasons for being who she was weren't only created by Ava. It was also a voice that, not too long ago, Hope would've been able to put a name on. But now, when Hope went to sleep, she only heard the voice of a man.

"It's easy to hate those who hate us.

"How about, instead of hate, we love those who hate us. Who hurt us.

"These days, it is simply normal to hate."

Still, it was hard. It was hard to sit in that room and listen to Mara's words. Hope wanted to make Ava proud, and she wanted to make that man proud, but it was so very hard to. Because, eventually, Hope started to believe Mara's dark words. Every single word.

"Toys are meant to be thrown away," Mara would whisper into Hope's ear. "You can't be good forever. And you can't be selfish about it."

Hope was a toy.

"You're unloved."

Hope was unloved.

"You were thrown away."

Hope was thrown away.

"Don't think that you'll ever be saved."

Hope was trapped.

"You're going to be alone with this feeling. Forever."

Hope was alone.

"I-I know I say mean things, but…"

But so was Mara.

"Please…"

Mara was so, so lonely.

"DON'T LEAVE ME!"

But because of Mara, Hope was the loneliest of them all.

However, Ava saw that loneliness in Hope's eyes. Every time that Mara would leave for the morning or the afternoon, Ava would see Hope sitting in Mara's room all alone. And the woman felt bad. Truly, she felt bad for the poor child. So, one day, as Hope was sitting against the window in Mara's bedroom, Ava walked up to the girl and placed a hand on her little shoulder. "Hey… How about we go for a walk?"

Ava took Hope to her old home: the compound. Obviously, Hope didn't remember this place. Not a single bit. The walls were metal, the hallways were barren, and there wasn't a single beautiful thing about that place. Unlike Ava's house, there wasn't anything that shone or sparkled. There was just this metallic gray. It was boring and sad. Serious and dead. Well, that was what Hope thought until Ava led Hope to a window. This window didn't lead to the outside world, though. It led into yet another metal, stone room. But this room… Oh, this room… was alive.

"If I hadn't taken you in, this would have been your life," Ava said with her hand holding onto Hope's. "This is where you would have lived."

There were children. So many children of all shapes and sizes. In that room, there were kids laughing and spending time together. They were playing and doing work - doing normal kids stuff. And although Ava was trying to make Hope realize that she was "blessed" with her life, Hope felt the exact opposite. Hope wanted that. She yearned to be in that room with those smiling kids. Hope didn't want to be in a nice house with nice food and nice things. She wanted that. She wanted to be surrounded by kids just like her, who didn't bully her every single day. That tiny, metal room looked like Heaven compared to Ava's extravagant home up in the sky. Hope wanted to be in there, too. She dreamed of it. She cried for it.

"Hope." But when Hope started crying, Ava kneeled down and turned Hope's body toward her own. The woman stared into the girl's eyes, a stark seriousness in them. "I know she isn't the happiest girl in the world, but… I love her. I love her more than anything. Please, you must have patience. You must saveher. You must save my daughter."

Hope had spent her entire known life following Ava's words, so she couldn't have objected to them regardless of what Hope had just seen. It was true that Hope wanted to be with those other kids, but she also loved Ava so much. She wanted to make Ava proud of her. Therefore, Hope followed Ava back into her home and spent another day with Mara. And another. And another. Hope survived through Mara's harsh treatment because of her love and admiration for Ava Paige. Ava was the only adult figure that Hope knew of. The only person that possibly cared about her. Though, Mara noticed that aspect of Hope as well. And she used it against Hope.

"I see the way you look at her," Mara told Hope the moment that Ava left the bedroom. "I see the way you care. And I know you wish that… she could love you as a true daughter. But as her true daughter, I will tell you now… You're lucky. You're lucky she's not your mother, because I hate her sometimes... Just like I hate you."

And so it continued.

"When you were younger… do you think your family loved you? Do you think they miss you now?" Mara would ask. "Do you miss your real family? Because I'm sure they don't miss you. They did what you deserve. They threw you away."

The negative, twisted language continued every single day.

"You came to me on a silver platter." Mara had uttered this on one of her "good days". "I loved you the moment I saw you. Yes, I know. How could I love something so dirty? Well, pretty things are boring. Just like your blue eye… and your brown one."

It was twisted, but it was also true. Hope understood that Mara had no one but Ava, too. That she was just as alone as Hope. Moreover, it was true that a part of Hope was jealous of Mara: Hope wanted Ava to look at her like Ava looked at Mara. She wanted that mother-daughter relationship that never faltered or withered. Hope wanted to be loved unconditionally. Hence, with that jealousy and that misery killing her, Hope couldn't take it anymore. Her withered heart was almost gone. So, in a moment of defeat and fear, Hope made a "selfish" decision. She wanted out.

"Ava!" One day, Hope ran up to Ava and held onto her sleeve. Mara was gone for the morning, so only Ava and Hope were in the house. "Sh-She scares me! One moment she's sweet, and the next… she tells me bad things! I don't wanna hear them anymore! Please," Hope squeezed onto Ava's wrist, "save me! Get me out of here! I wanna go see the other kids! I wanna be with them!"

"Is that what you truly want?" Ava asked in a monotone tone. "You want to be rid of this house?"

"I-I just… can't take it anymore," Hope cried, falling to her knees. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Ava might have been a monster, but upon seeing Hope practically beggingand praying on her knees made Ava unable to say no. The woman knew that Hope was slipping - that she was about to fully break. So, that day, Ava didn't take Hope's hand. She merely led Hope back down that elevator, through some hallways, through a stairwell, and back to the room full of children. The woman placed the little girl into the room and then left her there.

However, the second that the door closed behind Hope, the smiles of the children that Hope wanted to be surrounded by… completely vanished. And, for the next week that Hope was stuck with those children, she never saw their smiles. The other children barely went near her, either. In class, Hope sat alone. In that room, Hope stood alone. Everywhere, Hope was as alone as she once was in that bedroom back at Ava's house. The only difference… was that Mara actually talked to her.

"Do you think she's broken?"

Even worse, staff members would mutter to one another.

"Look at her face… She never smiles."

"What a waste…"

"None of the children like her."

"It's probably because they know who she is."

"What a pampered little girl."

"Ava Paige's favorite isn't so great after all."

"Why," Hope would whimper in bed, "do I have to be this way?"

Hope was confused. Hope didn't understand what was wrong with her. She wanted out. She didn't want to be with those kids anymore, but she also didn't want to go back with Ava or Mara. Hope didn't know what to do. She just wanted to run away, never to be seen again. And, on one certain day, Hope would get that chance. On this day, the children were touring the compound: WICKED allowed them to do this whenever they had had a good month. And, this time around, they were touring the airport where each of the aircrafts were held. The children 'oohed' and 'ahhed' at the impressive machinery, never seeing these things in real life. The thing that caught Hope's eyes, though, weren't the aircrafts or the machines. It was a man. A man with dark skin and an intimidating-looking face. From his clothes, Hope could tell that this man was a pilot; and in this pilot's eyes, Hope could see anger every time that he looked at the children.

No, it wasn't anger. It was a pity she saw. A sadness that he couldn't control. And that singular look… That singular look made something swell up within Hope's heart. She wanted… She wanted to… run. So, before Hope could stop herself, she ran and grabbed onto the pilot's sleeve, just like she had once done to Ava. However, unlike Ava who wouldn't even glance at her, the man looked back at Hope in confusion. "Huh? What are-?"

"P-Please, get me out of here," Hope pleaded. "I beg of you, get me out of here!"

"You're that girl," the man murmured in surprise. "You're Director Paige's-"

"I can't stay here anymore - I don't wanna!" Hope sobbed as tears fell down her cheeks. "P-Please! I'm scared!"

The man's confusion turned into a deep frown. He stared down at the girl, who he knew was Ava Paige's favorite, and felt spite course through his veins. Out of all the children to complain about their lives, why was it this girl? What gave her the right to complain when all the other children had it way worse? This girl lived in a nice home, had nice food, was personally mentored by Ava Paige herself, and didn't have to worry about being tortured. Who did this girl think she was? Why did she believe that she deserved to be saved? Well, to this pilot, Hope wasn't worthy of that.

"Get off of me," the man spat, yanking his arm from Hope's small hands. "Guard! You got a stray!"

"Wha- Hey…!" a guard immediately yelled. "Get back here!"

But when the guard caught hold of Hope's arm, the girl didn't fight. She barely even moved her body, letting the guard do almost all of the work for her. As Hope was dragged away from the pilot, she didn't look away from him. She just stared at him in shock, her heart dying more than it already was. While the man… The man looked back at her, and he saw the pain in Hope's eyes. He saw the pain in her eyes, and he felt… he felt so… guilty. Despite his hatred from just prior, the man felt actual guilt upon seeing that girl's pain. However, the man dismissed that feeling quite quickly and got back to work.

Jorge simply walked back to his aircraft.

Hope's day only got worse, though. The poor girl wasn't going to catch a single break, because when her class got back into their classroom, she was met with intense glares. Ever since Hope first entered the other kids' lives, her head was always pointed downward. She didn't know how to communicate with others, and since the other kids obviously disliked her, Hope was afraid to look them in the eye. Still, despite her looking down at the ground, Hope felt each and every one of the students glaring at her. She didn't know what to do other than stand by the door and look down, complete terror in her eyes. And again, Hope knew that the other kids disliked her, but she didn't know this much. No, the way the kids were staring at her at that moment was… was more than a dislike. It was worse than any look that Mara had ever given Hope. They looked at Hope like she was a monster.

"We saw what you did back there," one of the boys suddenly spoke up. He had short brown hair, brown eyes, pale skin, and a mole on the left side… of his mouth. "What were you trying to do, huh?"

Hope took a step back. "I-I was just… Um…"

"Trying to escape?" the boy inquired, making Hope gulp.

"Well-"

"What makes you think you deserve it?"

"That's not-"

"What makes you so special?" the boy furthered, his hands clenched into fists. "And if you wanna leave so badly, then… then go ahead! I wish you'd just disappear! I wish you'd just disappear from this world! You're selfish! You're so freaking selfish!"

"Toys are meant to be thrown away."

That was the day that Hope's heart shattered.

"Do you miss them?"

That was the day that Hope's hope was lost.

"You can't be good forever."

That was the day that Hope never looked up again.

"Your real family?"

That was the day that Hope never smiled again.

"And you can't be selfish about it."

That was the day that Hope became an empty shell.

"They threw you away."

That was the day… that Hope went back home.

"Hey…" While Hope was standing in the classroom, completely frozen, a hand fell onto her shoulder. "How about we get out of here, okay? C'mon."

The unknown woman took Hope's hand and softly walked her out of that classroom. Tap, tap, tap, their shoes went as they strode down that long, barren, quiet hallway. And although the woman was holding Hope's hand, Hope felt absolutely nothing. She couldn't feel anything. Nothing. There was a blackhole where Hope's heart once was, and she felt undoubtedly, inexplicably dead. And the worst part of it all, the thing that hurt Hope the most, was the fact that Mara was always right. A part of Hope always hoped that Mara's cruel words were wrong - that, somewhere in the world, she was loved and that she was wanted. But she wasn't. Not by some random stranger, not even by kids her age. Hope was unwanted everywhere she turned. And she was alone. And her life… had no potential to it.

There was no light at the end of the tunnel.

There was just darkness.

"Hope." It had been so long since anyone had said her name like that. The voice was so kind, so soft, so… not angry. Still, Hope did not look up when the mystery woman kneeled down in front of her. Hope just stared down at the ground, even when the woman with brown hair spoke. "Hope, he didn't mean it. Kids don't understand what their words mean."

Hope didn't respond.

"Please don't take his words to heart."

Hope didn't respond.

"He doesn't actually want you to disappear."

No response.

"Thomas can be… He doesn't think sometimes, y'know?"

Nothing.

"Hope, please…" The woman placed her hand on Hope's shoulder once more. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Finally, Hope used her words. Her tone was flat. Lifeless. "Take me home."

"What…?"

"Take me back home, please."

"Your home? Where's that?"

"With Ava… And Mara. I belong with Mara."

Now, Hope believed she understood where she belonged. Where she had always belonged. Hope felt that she deserved that pitch-black room and those pitch-black words. Hope felt that she deserved Mara's negativity, because now, Hope believed that she was the bad guy. That she was the monster in everyone else's story. But all that sad, sad little girl wanted… was to be loved. Yet no one chose to love her, except for the two people who'd hurt her the most. And Hope was ready for their punishments. Hope was ready to receive what she believed to be right. So when the unknown woman brought Hope back to Ava, Hope walked straight up to Ava and fell to her knees: just like when Hope had begged to be set free from Ava's home, Hope begged Ava to let her back in.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry for what I've done," Hope whimpered. "But I wanna come back home. I-I wanna be with Mara again."

Mary Cooper watched the scene with wide eyes, not knowing that helping Hope escape that classroom would lead to this. She didn't know that it would lead to Hope getting on her hands and knees, begging the Ava Paige to bring her back to whatever "home" she had. And Mary could only stand there when Ava took Hope's hand and walked past her, not really knowing what had just happened. Of course, Mary didn't know the full picture, but the way that Ava looked at Hope was so… unlike the other kids. She wouldn't know what Ava had done to Hope until many years later. Mary Cooper wouldn't know until many years later… how she had just allowed Hope to enter Hell once more.

"Mara… Hope is here."

When Ava opened the door to Mara's room, Hope found that the bedroom was different. It was darker, and it was sadder. There were so many things on the ground, almost everything was broken, and not a single thing was in its rightful place. It was chaos in there. In that sad, sad bedroom, only Mara stood in front of the large windows that overlooked the city. The same place that Mara had first turned wicked. Mara stood there, surrounded by the chaos of her own making, and looked weaker than ever. Therefore, at that single moment, Hope realized something.

Mara was as broken as her.

"Why…" And once Mara finally spoke, her voice was weak as well. But Hope heard her. Hope heard every word. "W-Why did you leave, Hope? Why did you leave me?"

"I'm sorry," Hope muttered. "I-I'm so sorry, Mara, I shouldn't have-"

"Are you afraid of me?" Mara interjected, causing Hope's eyes to widen in response. "Do you… wanna get away from me?"

"I…" Hope shook her head. "I didn't meant to-"

"How could you?!" Suddenly, Mara turned around and sprinted straight toward Hope. "I HATE YOU!"

"MARA!" Ava shouted. "Stop it! NO!"

But it was too late: Mara had pushed Hope onto the ground, slapping and hitting Hope's face multiple times. Luckily, Ava was there to pull her daughter off from the poor girl, but the damage had already been done. And, the worst part of it all, was that Hope felt better after it. She felt relieved that someone had finally punished her for her "selfishness." Hence, from that day forward, Hope took Mara's words and accepted them as the full truth. Hope accepted that she was terrible and horrible and ugly. She accepted it all, because there wasn't anyone in the entire world that told her differently. And Hope would have fully slipped if it wasn't… for Hugo.

"Hope… I have something for you," Ava said one day while Mara was gone. Hope was sitting in the middle of Mara's bedroom, lying on the cold, hard floor. Behind her, Hope could hear Ava place a box onto the ground. "Well, actually, it's more of someone. I've brought you someone very special, Hope."

"Woof!" A light, airy sound abruptly danced through the heavy room. "Woof, woof!"

Hope's dead eyes widened in surprise - an actual emotion coursed through her veins. Slowly, Hope turned her petite body around… and found herself face-to-face with a puppy. A puppy with black fur, dark brown eyes, and an innocent face. Moreover, the second that Hope's eyes met the puppy's, its tail started wagging happily. It even leaned forward… and licked Hope's nose.

"Awe, see? He already likes you!" Ava beamed proudly. "His name's Hugo, by the way. A black german shepherd. Isn't he cool?"

"Oh…" Hope mumbled, lifting up her hand and carefully touching the puppy's tiny ears. "He's small."

"But, one day, he's gonna grow very large," Ava stated with a smile. "And he's going to protect you, Hope. Always and forever." However, Ava's smile then faltered. As Hope started petting behind the puppy's ear, Ava let out a long sigh. "Look, Hope, I know this has been hard for you. I know it's been tough. And I'm…I'm sorry that this is happening to you. I'm sorry that you're in so much pain. I know my words mean nothing. I know what I've done cannot be forgiven. But please, Hope… Please, never give up. This world needs you. More than you will ever know. And, if you don't believe me, just look at this dog. He's alive… because of you."

"Because of," Hope blinked, "me?"

"Yes. He was made just for you," Ava proclaimed. "Hugo is all yours, Hope. He's your friend."

That was all Hope ever wanted: a friend. That was it. Such a simple, normal thing that most humans had, and yet Hope had never had one. But now, she did. She had an actual friend to stay by her side. So, for the next eight years or so, Hugo stayed right there with Hope. And, if it wasn't for that dog, Hope probably wouldn't have made it. Regardless of Mara's horrible words, regardless of the metal torture, regardless of the physical torture, Hope had Hugo. Whenever Hope had an anxiety attack, whenever she cried, whenever she was stressed with Ava's teachings, whenever she had anything wrong with her, Hugo was right there at her side. They were more than best friends. They were family. Hope was everything to Hugo, and Hugo was everything to Hope. Hope's savior… was a dog.

Until one day.

Until one day… when Hope's past caught up to her.

"Hey, Hope!" One day, Mara came home from her appointment with a smile on her face. She bursted through her bedroom door, walking right up to Hope. "Let's go to the tower! The one that goes up, up, up!"

"A-Again?" Hope gulped. "But… Ava's said not to."

"Oh, who cares?! It'll be fun!" Mara promised. "Plus, that stupid mutt won't be with us! We'll be able to spend some quality time together!"

"O-Okay… Sure." Hope couldn't say no to Mara. It was impossible, so Hope could only agree. "C'ya later, Hugo."

Hugo grumbled in disappointment, but didn't stop Hope from leaving. "Grr."

'The Tower' was the first place that Mara ever brought Hope to. She had said that it was her 'special spot'. It sat atop Ava's home, and the only way to get there was by climbing onto the roof, which was already extremely high up in the sky. So when Hope first went up there, it scared her. Back then, Hope didn't want to fall. Still, Mara assured her that nothing bad would happen. Nothing at all. Therefore, exactly like that first day, the two climbed up the long, metal tower that supplied electricity to the house. There was a flat, wooden beam attached to the middle of the tower, which was where either girl would sit. And when they would sit there, they'd stare out at the city below them, feeling like they were at the top of the world. But now, Hope just felt lonelier than usual. And Mara… just felt crueler.

"You know, I see where you look," Mara said as a smile crept onto her face. "I see where you stare. You don't stare at the beautiful city around you or the beautiful sky. You stare down, Hope. You stare down at the ground." Hope didn't reply. She didn't want to. "I see the way you stare down there, Hope. You wanna go down there, don't you? You… wanna jump, don't you?" Truly, Hope didn't want to reply. "See? I'm right. You wanna die, don't you, Hope? You wanna break all your bones, and you wanna swim in your own blood. But that's… that's so dirty of you, Hope." Furthermore, Mara's smile turned even more wicked. "You're the dirtiest of them all, Hope. You're the sickest."

Hope felt tears come to her eyes. Hugo had made Hope feel again, but that wasn't necessarily a good thing. Especially when it came to Mara.

"You were made for me, Hope. Wherever you go, you bring darkness. You bring sadness. It's not my fault you're like this. I'm not like you, which is why I can save you." But when Mara said this, she placed her hands onto Hope's face. Cupping either of her cheeks, Mara brought Hope's face to look straight into hers. "You can do it, Hope. I believe in you. If you leave, the sadness and the darkness can all go away. Once and for all, the world can be set free. Your parents… Those kids… Hugo… My mom… Me… We can all be set free. You can save us all."

That night, Hope got ready to take a bath.

She locked Hugo out of the bathroom.

She could hear him scratching at the door.

Beside the tub, there was something that sparkled against the light.

Hope took off her clothes, climbed into the bath, and took a deep breath.

Living in a constant routine could kill people.

It didn't matter if you had a friend at your side, a nice house, a family…

If you lived the same life every day, it would eventually kill you.

All you needed… was a single push in the wrong direction.

And that was what Mara did to Hope on that day.

Hope wanted to live a life where everyone smiled.

Hope wanted to live a life that had purpose to it.

Hope wanted to be surrounded by people that loved her.

But because she believed she didn't deserve any of that, Hope had finally given up.

So scars formed on Hope's arms that day.

"N-NO! PLEASE, NO!"

However, this was the future, people. And Hope lived with one of the best doctors alive, who also had a key to every room in her house. The future's medical field was advanced, especially when a virus was killing most of the population. And Ava Paige knew exactly what she had to do after pulling Hope from out of that bathtub. She knew that Hope had finally reached her limit, and that it was time for a new chapter to begin. A new story to start at Chapter One. 'A Rude Awakening' some would say. So, about a month after Hope's incident, Ava conducted the Swipe onto Hope's mind. And about a day after that, Hope was put up into the Maze.

"You were made for better things," Ava whispered into Hope's ear once she was placed into the Box. "It's okay. Everything is going to be okay. They need you. They need your goodness. They need your smile. The Maze needs you. And… And it's okay to give into emotion, Hope. Let yourself be free. Let yourself be open. Because, if you do that, other people will follow." Then, Ava placed a kiss against Hope's forehead. "A-And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I've done to you."

Maybe…

"It's easy to hate those who hate us. But why not opt for a challenge, hm? Like those ones your brother and your mother love so much? How about, instead of hate, we love those who hate us. Who hurt us. And it is one of the most challenging things in the world to accomplish, because such actions are looked down upon, Belle. These days, it is simply normal to hate."

The world wasn't all dark.

And all hope… wasn't fully lost.