WARNING SPOILERS!

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

30 ways to annoy Jack Sparrow

1. Pointedly call him Jack Sparrow even when he reminds you it's Captain

2. Collect all of the ladies he has cheated on, tell them that he has cheated, then deposit them on an empty island with some guns and an asleep Jack Sparrow with no rum

3. Throw all the rum in the ocean "on accident"

4. Hide his hat and then tell him that Will took it

5. Lock him in a cell with no rum

6. Take away his jar of dirt and give it to the undead monkey

7. Put a magnet in his compass

8. Introduce a pack of undead monkeys to the Black Pearl

9. Make him sit in the front-row seat of Elizabeth and Will's wedding

10. Leave him with a white crab in Davy Jones's locker

11. Sell him on eBay for only a penny or maybe just for free

12. Read him Will and Jack fan fiction with him chained to a chair so as not to strangle you

13. Sink the Black Pearl

14. Paint yellow smiley faces on the side of the Black Pearl or rename it the White Oyster

15. Leave him to be chased by a horde of angry cannibals

16. Give him a t-shirt for his birthday that reads I hate Rum

17. Mess up his dreadlocks and put bows in his hair

18. Make him apologize to Will and Elizabeth for EVERYTHING he has EVER done to them

19. Lock him in a cell with LOTS of Bananas and hordes of undead monkeys

20. Repeat EVERYTHING he says, and I mean EVERYTHING

21. Chain him to a pew in a cathedral for 2 hours during the sermon

22. Give Barbosa a larger telescope

23. Give him detention and make him write I will not shoot people repeatedly

24. Leave him in a Library maze

25. Force him to talk to his father in a dress

26. Make Elizabeth the Pirate King

27. Give him a rowboat, tell him that there is a treasure on an island, and then release the undead sharks and ghosts that can run on water

28. Mess up his hat by sprinkling it with pink sparkles

29. Tell him that Henry Turner is Will and Elizabeth's son

30. Give him a single gold coin for Christmas

31. Copy his hand motions or just imitate him in general

32. Steal random things from his cabin and throw them overboard (again "on accident")

33. Dye the sails of the Black Pearl blue

34. Hide behind him, yell "Ahhh! It's Davy Jones", and run away

35. Steal his pants

36. When he is drunk yell "ITS THE KRAKEN!" and scream very loudly

37. stalk him constantly and when he tells you to go away collect all of his ex's and go on a rampage

38. Teach his crew the song dancing queen and get the song stuck in his head

39. Try to convince him that the Black Pearl is yours and yours only

40. Tell him that Will is superior in every way