I'm the damned Mailman!
Hello and welcome back to I'm the damned mailman! In this story we have the usual insanity and as one reader pointed out I seem to have a knack for crack ficks.
Quest and answer time as per the usual.
Q: do you mean Himiko Midoriya since Toga is the surname?
A: yep, sorry about that I mixed them up but going forwards I will write it as Himiko Midoriya.
Q: uh so Dabi or twice will be good guys or atleast neutral?
A: who said anything about them showing up anytime soon?
Q: will the other companions from new Vegas be showing up in this?
A: yes, after all in both BNHA and Fallout series teleportation is a reality even if they use different means. Honestly first to show up may as well be Victor given how he seems to get around so much.
Q: What exactly is the recycler perk?
A: meant to write diligent recycler sorry.
Q: Is Mei gonna steal the fatman and do we need to worry?
A: maybe.
Chapter 4: Home
Of all the things Inko had expected when it was mentioned the woman who had been watching her son for the past few years was a mutant, a large blue skinned all might look alike in a dress with a harness holding her lips open was not one of them. Don't get her wrong it was by far not the weirdest appearance she had ever seen, that went to the news anchor who had a toilet for a head.
"Hm? Oh hello deary." The woman nodded, speaking in english.
"Why did I get dragged along?" Eraserhead asked.
"Translator." Inko hummed causing the hero to sigh.
"Lily, this is my birth mum, mum this Lily, she speak english." Izuku explained, switching between english and broken Japanese. "This is Himiko, my new sister."
"It's good to meet you two dears, oh and that shirt is lovely if a bit raider like." Lily tried complimenting Himiko's shirt which had a picture of a pair of bloodied knives being held by a small kitten.
"Thanks, me make myself." Himiko spoke in broken English as she bowed her head. "Name Himiko Midoriya, thankyou for save brother."
"It was no problem dear, Izuku is a good kid." Lily waved it off politely.
"Hmm, we only have one guest room." Inko hummed to herself.
"I have sleep bag." Izuku replied as a tattered brown sleeping bag with a series of bullet holes in the side appeared in his hands.
"Problem child that's not fit to hold potatoes let alone sleep in." Aizawa replied as he stared in disappointment at the bag in question.
"That's what I tell him but he refuses to spend the caps on one." Lily replied as she shook her head.
"And I keep saying that I'd rather have an uncomfortable rest out on the roads than be short on ammo or meds in a firefight." Izuku replied bluntly.
"Dear I am worried you'll hurt your back." Lily replied gently as she patted Izuku on the shoulder. "I can sleep on rocks, you can't."
"What are they arguing about?" Inko, who's grasp on English wasn't as good as the hero's or her daughter's, asked as she looked to the others for translation.
"Your son is trying to argue with Lily about her sleeping on the bed while he uses the sack." Eraserhead sighed as the two reality hoppers argued back and forth.
"I suppose we can just use the fold out couch." Himiko deadpanned at the duo who still continued to argue. She didn't understand the full conversation but she picked up key aspects of it. Something about a mole rat, two barrels of something, whatever the heck a Claw of Death was and radroaches. "Besides it's Friday, we can shop tomorrow right?"
"I suppose so." Inko chuckled as Izuku threw his hands up in defeat as he pouted. "Are we all good to go?"
"Just grab his stuff from the officer at the counter, I'm going home to sleep." Eraserhead sighed as he walked off.
After collecting the gear Izuku had been confiscated of was returned they soon found another problem upon arriving at the parking lot, that being the fact that Lily was unable to fit inside the car.
"Oh dear." Inko uttered as she looked between the towering woman and the small car.
"Lily no fit in tiny box, Lily can walk?" Lily asked in English.
"Hmm, how far home?" Izuku asked his mother.
"About 10 minutes by car or 40 minutes walk." Inko admitted after doing a quick bit of maths in her head.
"You drive the car home mum, I'll walk." Himiko grinned. "Besides I want to get to know my brother!"
"If you're sure." Inko replied hesitantly. Upon seeing her two kids nod while Lily cautiously inspected the car Inko sighed as she nodded. "Alright, I'll get home and put dinner on, make sure they get home safe, alright himi-chan."
"Sure thing mum." Himiko grinned as her mum climbed into the car. Himiko then turned to her brother and Lily. "Come, we walk home."
"Alright. Anything dangerous on the way?" Izuku asked as they waved goodbye to Inko.
"Just mosquitos and villains sometimes." Himiko replied as she lead them towards the residential district. "How was other world?"
"Different. Lots of radiation, haven't seen my Geiger counter so much as chirp since we ended up here." Izuku replied.
"No annoying cracking box means no sick Izuku." Lily replied sagely.
"Damn, I don't think we even worry about radiation asides that one time aunt Mitsuki tried to cook something in the microwave." Himiko hummed to herself. Said incident was best left alone, as was the fact that the microwave was confiscated by the government for producing enough radiation to kill a elephant. Heck it was a miracle they survived with no ill effects beyond food poisoning.
Eventually they managed to make their way back to the block of apartments where Inko's car was parked out the front of. It wasn't anything fancy and matched the memories Izuku had from when he was a kid, the only real difference was it had new paint and different cars out the front. Hell he could still see the poorly paved over sidewalk where some hero did the iconic super hero landing and broke both their knees and their right hand in the process.
"C'mon, it's getting cold." Himiko ushered them onwards as she started to make her way up the metal staircase that clung to the side of the building. Upon reaching number 12 she fished a key out of her pocket and unlocked the door before they made their way inside. "We have to make sure it's locked at night, some Yakuza group called Hassaikai have been more active lately and mum's worried they'd try breaking in."
"I set traps." Izuku replied in broken Japanese. "Hate mafia."
"Oh you're finally back." Inko breathed a sigh of relief as she peaked in from the small kitchen. "I'm almost finished with dinner, hope you're hungry as I made seafood."
"What did she make?" Lily asked in English.
"Fish." Himiko replied to the larger woman. "Almost done."
"Thankyou for the hospitality." Lily hummed aloud.
"Lily you're supposed to bow in Japan." Izuku explained before doing just that. "Like that."
"Right." Lily nodded before doing a half bow and almost toppling over.
"Careful, there's no need to bow." Inko gasped as Izuku and Himiko stopped Lily from toppling over. "You're practically family for watching after my son."
"She says no need bow, you family." Himiko explained with a large grin.
"Lily is... Glad?" The Nightkin mumbled to herself as she was lead to the sitting table by Toga. "Where chairs?"
"It's a floor table, you sit on the ground." Izuku supplied for lily. "Like camping but inside."
"Weird." Lily uttered as she carefully took a seat at the low table, crossing her legs and slouching forwards as she did so.
"Alright, hope everyone is hungry!" Inko beamed as she walked into the room with a large plate covered in several fried fish, a bowl of spicy oyster sauce, two large bowls of rice, a bowl of salad, some eggs, two glasses and a pitcher of water and what the two wastelanders instantly recognised as a blood bag.
"Ikadakimas!" Himiko and Inko cried aloud as they bowed, Izuku and Lily a few moments behind them.
"Why blood?" Izuku asked in broken japanese as everyone started to load up the smaller plates with food.
"My quirk, need blood or am crazy." Himiko explained in broken English to the newest members to the table as she placed the blood bag near her plate and drenched some rice in the oyster sauce before putting the fish on top. "First parents no like, kick me out."
"How horrible." Lily gasped looking shocked. "Parents meant to love kids not get rid of them."
"Pieces of shit." Izuku scoffed.
"Language!" Inko gasped, despite being rather poor at English she had spent enough time around mistuki in her youth to of learnt many swears in the language.
"English." Izuku replied absently making Himiko snort a laugh.
"What this stuff?" Lily asked in confusion as she absently used a spoon to scoop up some spicy sauce and put it on some fish.
"Spicy." Izuku replied bluntly before chugging some water.
Lily merely shrugged before taking a bite. Her eyes went wide as she froze mid bite.
"Oh dear, spicy lots?" Inko asked in broken English.
"Best...food ever." Lily uttered before drenching her remaining fish in several more spoons of the sauce before she began eating at an increased pace.
"Oh my." Inko giggled. "I haven't seen someone like my spicy cooking that much since before Katsuki was committed."
"Kaachan married?" Izuku asked, misunderstanding the meaning.
"No. Put him in crazy doctor house." Himiko explained as best she could. "You go, he turn crazy, tried blow up school."
"Well shit." Izuku uttered in english as Lily sighed and shook her head.
"Childhood friend my foot." The woman sighed. "Leo says slap idiot on head... Twice."
"May do him good." Izuku replied before a buzzing sound filled the room making both Izuku and Lily jump up and take defensive stances. Lily balling her hands into fists and Izuku pulling his shotgun out and cocking a round as they both quickly looked around the room.
"Chill! My phone!" Himiko yelped while Inko fainted in shock.
"Phone?" Lily asked at the unfamiliar word while Izuku sighed and lowered his gun.
"This." Himiko explained as she held up her still buzzing phone.
"Ah little pip boy." Lily hummed.
"I honestly thought it was a cazador." Izuku sighed and slumped slightly as Himiko finally answered her phone.
"Moshi-moshi." The blonde answered. "Yeah sorry I missed the video call before, we finally found my brother! ... Yeah, he was in some alternate world. Yeah isakied... Let me ask. Bro, you have harem?"
"Uh... Maybe?" Izuku replied hesitantly. "What's harem?"
Unfortunately for him, Himiko had ignored anything he had said after maybe as she continued her conversation. Lily meanwhile had gently tried to wake up Inko, unfortunately her version of gently was shaking the poor woman awake.
"Huh...what?" Inko slurred as she came to. "What happened?"
"You pass out." Izuku explained.
"Hey mum, my friend wants to come over tomorrow morning, that ok?" Himiko asked.
"So long as you two don't make a mess and don't rope your brother into anything stupid it's fine." Inko sighed making Himiko cheer with a fist pump.
"Hell yeah! You can come over tomorrow morning around 10, seeya then I have to finish dinner!" Himiko chirped before hanging up the phone and plopping herself back down at the table. "So, how we gonna teach him english again?"
"I have an old dictionary." Inko shrugged. "I can get more books tomorrow but for now a simple guide should do."
"Since when did we have a dictionary?" Himiko asked with a confused expression before grabbing the blood bag and taking a gulp.
"Since my ex and me used to travel to America when we were in colledge." Inko replied with a frown. "I think I have it somewhere on the book shelf between my novels."
"Oh bleck." Himiko gagged. "Mushy romance novels."
"It's better than your books dear and don't deny it I've seen that trash you hide in your room." Inko deadpanned at her adoptive daughter.
"H-hey! Atleast it's realistic!" Himiko snapped back with a blush.
"People here are crazy." Lily deadpanned as Himiko and Inko got into an argument over the value of romance novels.
"Atleast mum is happy." Izuku chuckled back before noticing that his portion of fish was gone. "What the?"
"Sorry. Too good." Lily apologised sheepishly.
"You're lucky I have more." Izuku sighed as a small box of Blamco Mac and cheese appeared in his hands. He proceeded to also make a small atomic powered portable stove and pot appear. Poring the slightly green pasta and powder into the pot he then dumped and rest of his glass of water over the top and turned it on.
While this was completely normal for both Izuku and Lily to eat, Himiko and Inko gagged at both the sight and the smell.
"I don't think that's safe to eat." Inko uttered looking a bit green.
"Smell bad. Throw in trash!" Himiko hissed in disgust.
"Still good for eat." Izuku shrugged. "Taste tangy."
"Nope. No, not in my house." Inko uttered before walking into the kitchen and grabbing a cheap box of Craft Mac and Cheese before putting in Infront of Izuku. "If you want mac and cheese eat this not the moldy stuff!"
"Toss the old one, use the fresh yummy one!" Himiko translated upon seeing Izuku's confusion.
"It's...fresh?" Izuku uttered in awe while lily's jaw dropped in shock.
"Fresh pre-war food? Leo wants to try it." Lily uttered in shock. "Would be worth lots-a caps."
"Easily in the hundreds." Izuku agreed as the bubbling pot of moldy pasta vanished, thankfully taking the smell with it, before a new empty pot appeared and with Himiko's help followed the instructions. Soon enough they had the Mac and cheese cooked and Lily was in awe at how good it tasted. Izuku however sighed as he looked down at his half eaten potion of Mac and cheese with disappointment. "Not tangy enough."
"Gross." Himiko deadpanned at her brother.
"Oh dear, we'll have to set up vaccination appointments and get him re-enrolled into school." Inko gasped. "no. He's too old for highschool now, online school or summer schools it is!"
"Let's just start with Japanese first." Himiko sweatdropped before she went to the bookshelf and pulled a Japanese and English translation dictionary off of the 2nd lowest shelf before handing it to Izuku. "Here, it'll help." She smiled.
"Thanks." Izuku nodded before one of his eyes glowed Green and he flicked through the book in one go. He gasped in pain as his left hand shot up to his eye and he grit his teeth in pain.
"Ok you?!" Inko asked in broken English.
"I'm fine. VATS got a workout for sure with that." Izuku replied in perfect Japanese, even if he still had an American accent.
"What just happened?" Himiko asked in confusion.
"Ages ago I lost my eye when a Deathclaw got a little too close, luckily my eye was all it got, tore through six of the ten other couriers on the caravan, two of the ones it got were in power armor too, local doc had an old pre war military grade VATS implant to replace my eye. The others pitched in to help buy it, two months later I'm finally allowed to work again and some asshole called Benny jumped me and stole my package before shooting me in the head." Izuku explained as he still rubbed at his eye. "Anyway the VATS asides slowing my perception of time for brief moments and improving my accuracy also let's me absorb a lot of written information very quickly at the expense of one hell of a headache."
"Does lily-san have this implant too?" Inko asked as she looked towards the blue skinned woman.
"No but she's a quick learner, only took her two weeks to learn how to operate a nuclear generator so Japanese should be no problem." Izuku replied with a smile while internally shivering at the memory of how much Rad away he had to go through while teaching Lily how to use the generators. If he ever had to taste radaway again it would be too soon.
End chapter.
Thoughts?
Ideas?
Who do you think Himiko's friend will be?
Bet you didn't see the fact about Bakugo did you? Or maybe you did, it is Bakugo after all.
Any questions you have be sure to put them in the comments.