LISA

Careful not to wake Lauren, I carry her to the car and strap her into her seat. As much as I'd like to tear off straight to Jennie's place, I have no idea how long our conversation will take or what kinds of things we'll need to say that Lauren shouldn't overhear. So instead, I head to Mom's.

Dawn answers the doorbell, blinking in obvious confusion.

"Lisa? What a wonderful surprise," Mom calls from her recliner.

As I come inside with Lauren conked out on my shoulder, I get close enough for Mom to see the somber look in my eyes, and her face falls.

"Is everything all right?" she asks in a low voice.

"Yeah, it's fine," I say softly, deciding it's best not to get into it right now. "Sorry for not giving you any warning, but can you watch Lauren for a couple of hours?" I ask, erring on the side of extra time, just in case. "I just, uh . . . one of my contractors just called, and I have to go meet him at the property immediately."

"Well, I'm always happy to see my grandbaby . . ." Mom looks at Dawn, her brow furrowed. "But would you be okay with that? I don't want to impose."

"It's fine with me," Dawn says, her voice quiet like ours.

"Thank you so much," I whisper with a sigh of relief. "Sorry again. I'll pay you double for these hours."

Dawn's eyes widen. "You don't have to d—"

"Really, I insist. It only makes sense, since you'll be looking after two people. And I promise I'll come back as soon as I can." Hopefully, I won't be an emotional wreck when I do, or I'll have to finally answer Mom's questions about Jennie and me.

"Is there anything she needs?" Dawn asks.

"I'll bring her bag in, but right now she's in the middle of her afternoon nap, so she should just sleep for most of the time," I say as I pass her gently into Mom's outstretched arms.

As if on cue, Lauren stirs, mumbling, "Gamma?"

Mom chuckles softly. "Yes, sweet pea, Grandma's here." She settles Lauren in her lap and rubs her back soothingly until her breathing starts to slow again. "Shh . . . that's a good girl. Sleepy time now." Looking up at me, Mom whispers, "Good luck with your business. But in the future, try not to work so hard, okay? I worry."

"Thanks, Mom. I'll try."

I'll definitely need that luck—this meeting is the most important I've ever had. I head back out the door and shut it quietly.

I drive to Jennie's apartment and check the labels on the mailbox by the entrance when I arrive. After locating her name, I stride up the stairs two at a time to her apartment. I knock twice and wait.

Dressed in a pair of cotton shorts and an oversized T-shirt, Jennie pulls open the door. "Lalisa?" She squints against the afternoon sunlight. "What's going on? Is something wrong?"

The words leap out of my mouth. "What if I want it all?"

She blinks at me. "What are you—"

My grand gesture of pleading for her heart is sure off to a roaring start.

Trying again, I say, "What if I want to make what Lauren said come true? What if I want us to be a family and share a home together?"

Jennie's eyes fly open wide with shock. "You . . . you don't know what you're saying," she chokes out, even as she takes a half step closer. "You couldn't even handle the responsibility of having a girlfriend back when I knew you, let alone—"

"I've changed," I say, willing to beg her to believe me. "I've had ten years to grow up, to think about what I missed out on. To miss you. I'm not some commitment-phobe, immature girl anymore. I'm a woman now, and I'll act like one."

Taking a chance, I grab her hand.

"I know what's on the line here, Jennie. I lost you once, and I never want to feel the pain of that again. More than just playing house, I want you in my life. Move in with us. Be Lauren's mommy. Be my everything."

I've just bared my soul and laid my heart on the line, and the heartbeats that tick past silently are filled with uncertainty.

She looks away, her eyes glistening, worrying her lip so fiercely I'm afraid it might bleed. But she doesn't pull her hand out of mine. "I don't . . . how would that even work? How do we know it'd be okay?"

"We don't. We'd just have to have faith and figure things out along the way."

I know it's probably not the assurance she was hoping for, but I'm not sure what to say, and there's no way I can allow this chance to pass by. I can't let her just walk away again.

Her chuckle is uncertain, but her gaze on mine is steady. "Lis . . . we can't just jump straight in. This is a huge decision."

I nod once, solemnly. "It is, but it also feels like the easiest decision in the world. For me, anyway. I want a future with you, Jennie. And I'm asking if you want to see where this goes as much as I do."

Her eyes lift to mine again, seeming to weigh whatever expression I'm wearing. But she's so quiet, I barely breathe. When she finally speaks, her voice is tiny, heavy with emotion.

"I'm afraid, Lisa."

I let out a deep sigh. "Me too. I'm . . . terrified." Mostly of losing this shot with her. A weird little chuckle escapes me. "But I still want to try. Do you?" I wet my lips. "Please, just answer me this one question. Do you love me?"

"It's not that simple . . ."

"Yes, it is. Everything else is just details, and we can work them out together. Tell me, and if you don't share my feelings, I'll drive back home right now and never bother you again. Do you want to be with me—with Lauren?"

Jennie's eyes brim with unshed tears, and she lets out a small, wet sniff. "That's playing dirty."

But she's laughing through her tears and stepping into my arms, and I finally understand what people mean when they talk about their heart singing.

This must be a dream, I think, squeezing her tight.

Then her lips meet mine, and I know it's not. We kiss deeply, locked together in her doorway, pouring into it all our joy and fear and cautious hope, and the love that will get us through it all.

The dance of our tongues quickly grows hotter and needier until she grabs my hand and pulls me inside. It strikes me that I've never seen her apartment before. What little I glimpse of it is snug furniture, cheerful bright colors, and cozy pastels, so very Jennie. But then we're in her bedroom, her scent surrounding me, and when she pulls me down on top of her, everything else vanishes.

"Touch me," she says urgently.

I couldn't say no, even if I wanted to.

We undress each other, hurried and hungry, but at the same time like we're revealing something sacred. Our clothes fall away, and our hands roam each other with eager, tender caresses.

"I need you," she whispers, or maybe the words are mine.

I can feel my heart beating everywhere she touches me. Her own heartbeat flutters in her neck against my lips, through her breast under my fingers, and the tender flesh between her legs trembles when I lave my tongue over it. I gorge myself on her until her body trembles and she's moaning helplessly, and she suddenly pushes me away.

"I want to come with you. Please, Lis," she says, gasping.

I rush to pull on a condom—my hands are shaking too, just as much as she was—but finally I manage and then I'm sinking into her. She welcomes me, draws me deep, and I mold my body against hers, wrapping my arms around her, needing every inch of us to be connected. Something inside me cracks, and everything I've been holding back for the past ten years comes flooding out.

"Oh God, Jennie," I say on a groan. "I love you. I've always loved you."

A sob escapes her, but I can feel her wide grin against my neck as she murmurs, "I love you too, Lisa."

With those words, I'm hers forever. My heart feels as full as the day Lauren was born.

Jennie's legs tighten around me, and her fingers tangle in my hair. "Ever since you came back, I've been telling myself I hated you, but that was bullshit. I was just scared. Scared to trust you, let you back in, and scared to admit how desperately I wanted to."

"There's nothing I regret more than leaving you behind. I promise I won't make that mistake ever again. This time I'll do right by you and never hurt you again. We'll be together for real."

"I know. I can't wait." She kisses me, gulping for breath between tears and giggles.

I kiss her back, deep and possessive, and too bursting with relief and elation for words. I've won back what I thought I'd lost forever. What I've always longed for, but dismissed as an impossible dream. Here, enfolded by Jennie's body and heart, time ceases to pass, and I suddenly know with crystal-clear certainty that my first love will be my last.

We move together like we were made for each other—and I'm certain we were. Together we ride the growing waves of ecstasy until they crest and overwhelm us, and we drown together in joy. And when they carry us to the warm, radiant shore and we're basking in the afterglow, sweat cooling on our skin, I feel like I'm finally home.

She snuggles closer, nuzzling into my chest. I hold her with one hand and stroke her hair with the other, inhaling her scent. We stay like that for a long time until she says, muffled, "So, who wants to break the news to Hanbin?"

It startles a laugh out of me, and she laughs too, quaking against me, and we crack up together.

Jennie lifts on one elbow and meets my eyes. "Gimme a couple of days. I'll figure out how to bring him around to the idea."

"He'll get over it," I say. "We're all adults now—we can do whatever we want."

And it feels absolutely true, like something I know deep in my soul—certain and unwavering.

Earlier, I said I wanted to have it all, yet I was still unsure of the details, anxious about just how we'd fit all the moving pieces together. But now, any difficulties seem so far away and easily conquered. Everything is possible so long as Jennie and I can face it together. I have no worries anymore, only happy anticipation of what the future will bring us.

She rests our foreheads together. "When you talk like that, I can't help but believe you."

I sigh, smiling. "The real question is how to tell Mom she was right all along. She'll never let me hear the end of it."

"Why am I not surprised to hear Chittip tried to pair us off?" she says with a chuckle.

We stay entwined for a little while longer, savoring the peace of her bed. But the moment can't go on forever.

Telling myself we'll have plenty more to come, I murmur, "I hate to cut this short, but I have to go pick up Lauren soon. Do you want to come home with us? We can eat leftover lasagna for dinner, and have a real sleepover this time."

Jennie's mouth lifts in a contented smile I want to see every day for the rest of my life. "I'd love to."