Building Sorrow

6

There was a fire crackling in the distance, Narcissa sat anxiously nursing a glass of red wine in her delicate hands. It was well past midnight and Malfoy Manor was far too quiet for her liking. It felt eerie to her. She knew her husband was moping about in his study, not permitted to be part of the Potter hunt. He was still not trusted, although their son was.

Goodness knows where my boy is. I would have preferred it if his father had been the one to take his place to fight, Draco is merely a boy!

There was little that Narcissa could do but hope that he returned home fine. She knew he was not the Dark Lord's first form of defence; Bellatrix would ensure that she was. With that thought, Narcissa reached for her glass and drain it of its contents in one fluid motion. The red wine seemed to be having the desired an effect on her. She felt nothing, her anxious thoughts dulled into a state of numbness.

She knew she was hypocrite, she despised herself for it. Narcissa could see the damage it was doing to her husband, her family. They were all feeling broken and deep despair, but she felt hopeless. The Dark Lord was slowly destroying her family, all she could do was stand by and witness it. Being numb was not so bad, at least she would not make a fatal error. She felt as though if she cut her feelings away then it would lessen her family's pain. She needed to dig them out of the dark hole they were in, she knew Lucius had no strength to do so.

Narcissa had given her wand over to her son, she was left with her mother's. How Druella would hate that she was using her wand. Narcissa pointed her mother's wand at the wireless and it began to play a soft tune. She walked over to a tall cabinet that contained all of her favourite liquor and grabbed a green bottle holding red wine. She took off the cork and decided to drink straight from the bottle. She laughed to herself as she pictured Lucius walking into her Drawing Room and seeing this sight; he really would find it most appalling. How unladylike of her!

Narcissa returned to sit herself down on a plush chaise longe, closest to the fireplace. The fireplace was a beautiful affair, Narcissa had designed each tile and to go around it. The mantel piece was made from an old oak tree that had fallen in the Malfoy estate some years prior. Sat upon it were silver photo frames containing moving images of her and her small family. Her favourite photo was of her much younger holding a blue-eyed baby boy with pale, blonde hair. She smiled at that very photo as she took another swig from the wine bottle.

It did not take her long to finish the entire quantity of the bottle before she opened another. Narcissa's soft blue eyes gazed upon the clock hung on the wall. It said that the time was 1:30. She sighed in response, she hoped Draco would return soon so she could go to bed. She would not rest until he was home. She rose, a little unsteady on her feet, to go and open her second bottle of wine. She removed the cork and continued to drink straight from the bottle, still listening to the gentle music from the wireless. She began to sway in time with the music, losing herself to the rhythm of the beat. She felt as though she could finally take a deep breath without the weight of the world crushing her lungs. She could feel the pressure and the panic stream out of her body the more she moved. Narcissa began to lightly step and twirl around the room holding the bottle of wine for dear life. She drank from it until it was nearly half empty. Her footing had become clumsy. She was drunk, nothing seemed to matter.

Suddenly a loud thud could be heard outside of her door. Narcissa's skin became cold, she shivered as she heard what only could be the sound of a body scrapping along the floor. This shocked her to her core. Narcissa tumbled with her wine bottle, then it dropped. Shards of green glass showered the air and floor, Narcissa cried out and scrabbled to clean the shards up. There was little thought in her action, she acted purely on impulse.

She saw the broken glass sparkling across the room, blood-red wine skittling over the wooden floor. It all seemed to form a pool around her, her fingers were covered in it all, smeared in what she believed to be wine. On closer inspection, Narcissa looked down to her bare arm, she saw a deep gash upon her beautiful, porcelain skin. It was oozing blood and looked rather nasty.

How could I be so stupid? I need to be as practical as I can right now, Narcissa thought. She stood to her full height and grabbed her wand. She cleared the mess up with one swoop of her arm. She paid little attention to the few shards that remained around the fireplace. Her attention was now on her wounded arm, she knew she could seal the wound but did not know how to do more than that. She had no access to her personal potions; they were upstairs in her bedside draw. She pointed her wand at the deep gash and sealed it. It looked as if it may scar but it would not get infected. She cleaned her skin with a spell and calmed herself.

Narcissa moved to open the door, she was met with the sight of her dark-haired sister, Bellatrix, dragging a young man by his hair. Bellatrix laughed manically in Narcissa's face.

"Cissy, guess who I've got?" Bellatrix said in a tone that displayed arrogance. Narcissa fully looked at her sister; she had blood smeared over her gaunt cheeks, her pupils were extremely large, and she smiled liked the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland. It was all a little horrifying.

"Who is it, Bellatrix?" Narcissa asked in a quiet voice.

Bellatrix continued to drag the beaten man's body along the floor as she walked.

"I CAPTURED HARRY POTTER." She manically sang.

Narcissa's response was to gasp and to take a look at the young man in more detail. He had dried blood on his forehead and face, his cheek was covered in purple bruises. Bellatrix had seemed to have cut through the Harry's shirt, it had random, long rips with dried blood upon it. Narcissa could see that the exposed skin had cut deep cuts onto his skin. She felt sick. Narcissa could never comprehend her sister's psychopathic need to harm others; she knew that Bellatrix drove pleasure from it. Narcissa on the other hand, disliked it. She would never harm another unless she had to.

"Where is Dark Lord? He will want to know of this, Bella." Narcissa asked strategically, she knew Bellatrix could at least tell her if her son was alive and where he was.

Bellatrix became ashen in the face and scowled. "I don't know. I will place the boy in dining room in a cage… we will wait for my Lord."

Narcissa had to resist the urge of thinking of her sister as the one that should be in a cage. Oh, did she want to push her inside and leave her for the Dark Lord, but she resisted. She began to Occlude her mind, she needed to find out where Draco was.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea, Bella." Narcissa paused, reaching to fiddle with her hair. "Where is Draco?"

Bellatrix laughed and looked at her. "He is safe, Cissy, he followed me in through the door. He refused to help me drag this wretched thing in though!"

Narcissa stood in her dining room with Draco, staring at an atrocious scene. Bellatrix was perched on The Dark Lord's lap whilst his grey hand stroked through her dark curls. The Dark Lord seemed extremely happy with Bellatrix and she, equally. Narcissa thought that she looked similar to a prized pig winning a contest. She found it revolting.

"You have pleased me greatly, Bella," Lord Voldemort announced to the small room filled with the inner circle of his Death Eaters.

Severus had draped himself over a dining chair, sitting with his legs crossed, deep in thought his onyx eyes staring at the caged Potter. Narcissa wondered what the man was thinking about at present. Narcissa tried to not stare at him too much, she was worried about him.

Narcissa's attention was drawn to Draco, he had placed his hand next to his mother's. She reached over and took his hand in her own. She then looked up at Voldemort who was whispering in Bellatrix's ear. Bella nodded happily towards him and stood up and exited the room almost skipping.

"Tonight, has been a success, I am most pleased with all of you. You may drink and celebrate tonight – we have Potter captured." Voldemort said from his throne-like chair.

"Draco, you will keep an eye on Potter whilst I am predisposed." Voldemort directed his gaze at him and smirked. He rose from his throne and walked out of the door.

Severus waited until the Dark Lord had disappeared to pull his face into a disgusted scowl.

"Do you think we will need to silence his chambers?" Severus called out comically.

Narcissa relaxed her tight composure, she allowed herself to laugh at his dry sense of humour. Severus joined in with her as did Draco.

Draco squeezed his mother's hand before stepping away. "I am tired, I think I will just stay here, mother."

Narcissa sighed gently and nodded her head, she reached over to hug him. She then stepped back and gazed at Severus.

"Shall we toast the occasion?" Narcissa smirked

"Perhaps, it is the Dark Lord's wishes after all." Severus said raising his eyebrows, his expression cooled into its neutral position.

"Lead the way, Severus." Narcissa said enticingly to him and added, "Draco, get Wormtail to watch Potter; you need to rest."

"Yes, mother." Draco replied and looked over at Narcissa and Severus in curiosity.

Severus' long legs led the way to Narcissa's drawing room. Severus listened to Narcissa as she spoke to him about nonsensical things, he had sat himself down in Narcissa's favourite spot. In his opinion, she seemed a little intoxicated. She was stood directly in front of the fire dressed in a long, black silk nightgown. How had he not noticed her state of dress before now? Severus really thought she looked beautiful; her hair had seemed fallen out of its usual updo and looked a little tousled. His intense, dark eyes looked right at her.

"Now that we are alone, can I ask you something?"

Severus nodded his head and continued to look at her with his dark eyes, his intrigue expressed through his face; he seemed fascinated to see what Narcissa had to say.

"I have missed you a great deal, my love…" Narcissa paused and placed her right manicured hand on his heart and began to stroke his chest. She felt anxious about making a move on Severus but knew she at least wanted him to be aware of her missing him. "Have you missed me?"

Severus felt his mouth go dry; his heart noticeably began to beat faster. He knew she could feel the affect she was having on him. Who was he to turn down Narcissa's advances. Truth be told, he had missed her a great deal. His hand came up to rest on top of hers, his thumb stroking over the back of her hand. Narcissa was comforted by this and sighed happily.

"I have missed being this close to you, dear Cissa." his voice had taken on a deep and mysterious sexy timbre.

Narcissa seemed to shudder as she heard him. She steadily climbed over Severus to straddle his waist.

"It has been too long— six months?" She questioned lazily as her lips came into contact with his neck. Her breath hot against his skin, he felt goosebumps all over him as she gently worked her way up to his jaw. Severus tried to not react at first, he did not want to take advantage of her. He placed his large hands on her lower back.

"I believe it has been that long, Cissa. Is this something you want?" He managed to say as he felt her hips brush into his, she pushed herself against his crotch. She moved her lips to his and whispered her consent before she kissed him slowly.

God she was really enticing him now. There was very little resistance from Severus now. He let out a pant and pushed himself back against her body.

"We need to lock– oh Merlin!" Severus lost his train of thought as Narcissa had placed her hand over his growing erection. Her hand felt so good through his trouser material. He had missed her and this far too much.

"It is fine, my love, all locked and sound-proofed…" Narcissa whispered as she moved firmly over his straining erection. Severus could see that his Cissa was growing in need, so was he.

"I have been thinking about you for too long." Narcissa whispered just as her lips found his. They shared a deep kiss. Both of them far too excited and caught up in trying to seek out dominance within their kiss. Narcissa knew Severus' weaknesses, so she bit down on his bottom lip. Severus had to stop their kiss to moan out loud. Severus' hands wrapped around her bottom, pulling her closer. He spanked her bottom very gently, which resulted in her moaning his name.

"Do that again!" She purred as her hands were working on opening his front zipper.

"Only if you share your thoughts with me!" Severus whispered to her, teasing her.

"Oh… I have thought about you in so many ways - I might show you some of them in the future." Narcissa whispered.

Severus chuckled and took a deep breath, readying himself. He used the palm of his hand to spank her with a firmer pressure this time.

"Sevy…!" Narcissa called out, wishing his touch was upon her bare skin. Severus wished it was too. He rubbed her bottom now and moved his head to suck on her neck, leaving a few very small, love bites down her neck.

Narcissa had opened his trouser zipper and had pulled out Severus' bare cock from his boxers. She marvelled over his full length before her hand made contact with all of his shaft and began to rub his cock. Narcissa began fisting him with long, slow strokes, her nails softly Stacy hint his sensitive skin. Severus felt his eyes shut; his head fell back as he groaned her name out loud.

"Fuck! Nothing ever feels like you," he whimpered. Narcissa did not hear anything but felt her skin become exposed to the cooler air, Severus must have removed their clothes with a non-verbal. Oh, did she like feeling her bare skin against his.

Severus moved his hands to cup her now exposed breasts, the top of his thumb pads grazed over her nipples, he rubbed his thumb in a circular motion.

Narcissa felt a jolt of pleasure run through her nervous system and straight to her lower region. How did he know exactly what she wanted. He had now pinched one nipple whilst simultaneously sucking on her other nipple.

She cried out and stopped stroking Severus' cock to let Severus continue his ministration on her. His beautiful hand seemed to effortlessly sink between her legs, he could feel how wet she was for him, which only made his hand explore further. He patted her outer labia and let his finger trace all the way down.

"You are so wet for me, Cissa, any man would be so lucky!" He purred as his fingers had found their way onto her clit and were now rubbing repeatedly over it.

"Sevy, I don't want any man… I want you!" She gasped and stretched her legs to accommodate him. Severus continued to rub her clit as slipped into her warmth. Narcissa felt her body begin to accept him properly, she felt all of today's tension begin to leave her body.

"Fuck, Cissa, you feel so tight around me!"

Narcissa pushed her hips forward and began to rock with Severus. They both moved fluidly, knowing exactly what they both needed from each other that moment.

Much time did not pass before Narcissa felt her body convulse as her orgasm built up. Severus moved deeper into her, and she came into him. It was a few minutes before she came with Severus this time. Narcissa collapsed onto his chest and panted his name.

"I think last time we did this I came double that amount!" She teased him as she stroked his bare, scarred chest.

Severus let out a rare chuckle and kissed her lips.

"Last time we had a bed and much more time to be alone with one another." He counteracted.

"Oh, I know that… I do not think it helps that you have been doing the Dark Lord's bidding for most of the evening, and I have drunk a copious amount of alcohol."

"Should I be worried for you, Cissa?" Severus asked ever-so-gently. He was worried about her; he had noticed the freshly healed wound on her forearm. He had also noticed the sprinkling of green glass shards littered by the fire.

Narcissa felt her heart warm, she liked that Severus could be so gentle and sweet with her. She also liked that someone cared enough to see that she was not okay. She lay her head onto his chest and gently sobbed into his beautiful warm embrace. She lazy traced a few scars on his chest She needed to be held as she shed a few tears; Severus did not disappoint and wrapped his arms around her. He even kissed the top of her head.

"You are not alone now, let it out." Severus whispered trying to soothe the woman in his arms. In total, Narcissa cried for over ten minutes before she settled. She had fallen wrapped in Severus' arms. He decided to allow them both the luxury of being in each other's arms. He Accio'd a blanket and placed it over them both.

"How do you always know exactly what I am feeling?" She whispered vulnerably.

"Well, I am a legilimens…" he whispered in an amused tone. "Although, that has little to do with it. It takes very little to observe and understand a person when you care for them."

Severus found himself feeling contentment, he only wished he could have more moments like this with Narcissa, but neither had yet to mention it to Lucius. They had both slept together ever since Lucius had gone to jail. Neither knew how to explain the situation to him, Narcissa knew he would not take it well.

Although, Narcissa and Lucius had both agreed to be in an open relationship –as long as discretion was implied, and Draco was not aware – she knew Lucius would feel betrayed. Lucius saw Severus as his first love; he was besotted with from the moment he had set sight on him. Narcissa understand the attraction of Severus, there was something special about the man.

It had all started rather innocently; Draco was in his sixth year at Hogwarts. Narcissa had made her way over to see Severus. She had felt a deep desperation and decided to reach out to him. She was a proud woman, but knew when to seek help, unlike her husband. He could be too arrogant; it was almost a fatal flaw. Besides, this concerned her son, Draco. She had to act on her instincts, since Lucius left to be imprisoned at Azkaban. His failure at the ministry had left Narcissa alone. Ostracized by the Dark Lord and humiliated. She had come to Severus' home and plead for his help.

Narcissa scrambled her way through the warren of identical, dilapidated rows of terraced houses. All of them so similar, she saw a street sign that had 'Spiner's End' written on it. Her footsteps echoed along the cobbles as she reached the last house on then street. There was a dim light emanating from the front window, the curtains were partly drawn.

Narcissa straightened her back and stood to her full height. She reached forward to knock on the door, the night's cold breeze sending goosebumps along her skin. After a few seconds there was movement behind the door, and it opened a crack. A sliver of Severus Snape could be seen, his long black hair was tied back from his face.

Narcissa gave him a tight smile and pulled down the hood of her cloak. Light streamed on her face as the door opened a little more.

"Narcissa?" Severus said in a friendly tone. "What a pleasant surprise!"

Narcissa could see that Severus was a little surprised to see her but had clearly sensed her presence before she got to his front door. There was very little chance that he did not have wards set up to protect his home.

"Severus, may I speak to you? It is urgent." Narcissa

"Of course, come in." Severus said. He stood away from the door to allow her into the house. He shut the door with a flick of his hand and directed her towards the sitting room. It was only a short walk down, a few steps.

The sitting room was small, framed by a small window and bookcases. Every spare space of the walls had books crammed in it, many of them were made of old black or brown leather. There was a small sofa covered in a worn, dark fabric and next to it was a winged-back armchair that looked old. There was a fire that cast a dim light across the whole room. The room had a feel of neglect about it, only the books seemed to be dust-free and cared for.

Severus extended his hand to one end of the sofa, offering for Narcissa to take a seat. Narcissa took off her cloak and threw it side. Severus collected it up from the floor, a little surprised that Narcissa was acting careless with her clothing. She was a woman of pride and elegance, she very rarely neglected to act accordingly in social settings. Something must be very wrong.

Narcissa had sat herself onto the sofa, her hands were trembling in her lap; her face had paled to an ashen grey. Severus stared at her for a moment before disappearing through a door that had seemed to be a bookcase. He returned with a silver tray that had a bottle of red wine upon it and two wineglasses. He set the tray down onto a small coffee table and proceeded to pour them both a glass of wine.

Narcissa gave him an anxious smile as he settled the glass into her trembling hands.

"You seem out of sorts, Narcissa, may I ask what is wrong?"

"We… we are alone, aren't we?" she stuttered quietly. She gripped the wineglass tightly then drained half of the glass in one gulp.

"Yes, of course."

Severus gracefully sipped from his wineglass before placing it back on the coffee table.

Narcissa looked into Severus' dark eyes and drained the glass. Severus raised his eyebrows as he refilled her glass. She murmured her thanks as he sat back down on the sofa this time.

"Severus, I am sorry to come here like this, I would never… impose normally. But I had to see you. I think you are the only person who can help me—"

A small black cat darted out from under the table, Narcissa had neglected to see the small animal earlier. Severus seemed to sigh as the leapt onto Narcissa's lap.

"My apologies, Narcissa, this is Shadow introducing herself. Are you comfortable with her?"

Narcissa nodded and scratched Shadow's dark fur, her grey eyes wide and curious, much like her owner's. Shadow eventually curled into Narcissa's lap. Severus displayed a rare smile as he looked over at Shadow, he even chuckled before resuming his usual blank expression.

"Yes, Severus," she paused and looked up at him, her face eloquent with despair. "I know I ought not be here; I have been told to say nothing to anyone, but –I think you are the only one who can help me, I have nowhere else to turn. Lucius is in jail and..."

Narcissa stopped talking as she closed her eyes, tears seeped down her face. "The Dark Lord has forbidden me to speak of this," she continued with her eyes closed. "He wishes none to know of the plan. It is…very secret. But—"

"If he has forbidden it, you ought not to speak." Said Severus suddenly. "The Dark Lord's word is law."

Narcissa gasped as though he had doused her in cold water, she had not expected him to be so cold towards her. There had been friends through Lucius for well over a decade; he was normally very friendly towards her. Severus got to his feet and strode over to the small window, peered through the curtains at the deserted street, then closed them with a firm jerk. He turned to face Narcissa, a softer expression in his eyes now.

"It so happens that I know of the plan," He whispered as he came to sit close to her. " I am one of the few the Dark Lord has told."

"I thought you must know about it!" Narcissa said with a deep exhale. She seemed to be able to ease up a little. "He trusts you, Severus, as do I."

Severus felt a deep ache in his heart, he looked over at Narcissa's beautiful face full of sorrow and pain. He had an urge to reach out and place a comforting hand upon her knee. He did so.

"Cissa, if you think I can persuade the Dark Lord to change his mind, I fear there is little hope." Severus said then looked into her eyes. There were tears sliding over her cheeks, she seemed to be silently sobbing.

"Severus… he is my son, my only son." She wept. Her head then collapsed onto Severus' chest. As she sobbed.

At first Severus was a little uncomfortable, he was not used to people seeking physical comfort from him. He cleared his mind and began to Occlude his mind. He slid closer to her on the sofa so she could be more comfortable.

He then bent his head to whisper in her ear, "There may be another way, Cissa."

"Really? Tell me what it is?" She said desperately. He had caught her full attention now, her eyes wide and hopeful.

"This is going to require trust on your part." Severus said sternly. He sat himself up on the sofa, his gaze upon her face. Severus reached over to refill a wineglass for Narcissa. She gracefully took it from him and drank from it.

"The Dark Lord is angry, Cissa, he cannot be persuaded. pretend that the Dark Lord is not going to change his mind. Neither will I attempt to do so." Severus paused to stand by the fire. "He is angry with Lucius. Lucius was supposed to be in charge. He got himself captured, along with how many others, and failed to retrieve the prophecy into the bargain."

"He has chosen Draco in revenge," Narcissa choked out. "He does not mean for him to succeed; he could be killed for trying." She lost all self-restraint now, stood up, she staggered to Severus and seized the front of his robes. Her face close to his, her tears falling onto his chest.

"Severus, please. You could do it. You could! You would succeed in doing so – I would be so grateful."

"Christ, Cissa, listen!" Severus said eerily quiet. "He intends me to do it in the end, but he believes Draco should attempt it first. He does not forgive easily, but there is another solution to this. I can help Draco,"

"Severus– oh, Severus–you would help him? Would you look after him, see he comes to no harm?"

"Yes, Cissa."

Narcissa's reaction was to gently brush her lips against his cool cheek. She looked up at him with the most radiant smile. "There is nothing you could not ask me to do right now, Severus."

Severus was a little stunted that Narcissa would be so forward with her approach. She was definitely flirting with him. Was that the way she thought she could get him to help — or was it a genuine admiration for him? He allowed Narcissa to lean her head on his chest once more.

"I may not be able to change what is done but there is — as I have mentioned twice — an alternative. But I would need you to take The Unbreakable Vow in order to proceed."

His midnight-coloured eyes scanned her pale face for a clue into how she was feeling. He could see that Narcissa was curious. She quietly nodded her head, but it still lay settled on his chest. She was exhausted.

Narcissa stayed settled on his chest for a few minutes, her breathing returned to normal. She then stepped back. She knelt on the floor in front of Severus, her tear-stained blue eyes peered up at him. Severus lowered himself so he was kneeling opposite Narcissa.

"We will have to do this an alternative way, without a Bonder present. It is a slight variation of the spell, but it will work the same." Severus explained to her softly.

"I understand, Severus." She said and offered her right hand to Severus. Severus grasped her hand with his own and stared into her eyes.

"Will you, Narcissa, tell no one of the information I will share with you?"

"I will."

Severus whispered something unrecognisable to Narcissa before a thin tongue of flame shoot from his hand and wound its way around both of their clasped hands.

"And will you, to the best of your ability, stay silent if interrogated by another on my personal affairs?"

"I will," Narcissa whispered.

A second tongue of flame shot from his arm and interlinked with the first, it made a fine, glowing chain around their hands.

"And should it need be your allegiance may change, will you commit to what lies ahead?" Severus asked, he felt Narcissa's hand jerk in his own as she frowned at him.

"I will," Narcissa replied and looked into his eyes, she saw his eyes ablaze with a red flame. Their hands were surrounded by the red flame, it had bound their hands and curled itself around them like a fiery snake.

They both basked in the glow for a few moments before it dissipated, and they were left holding hands in just the glow of the fire. Narcissa was panting, her eyes heavy, she collapsed into his arms and closed her eyes. Severus put his arms around the woman, pulling her flush against his chest. Her long blonde hair had fallen into her face, obscuring her features. Severus carefully brushed some of her hair away behind her ear. He gazed at her, her features seemed softer close up, as though her tough exterior had melted away.

Narcissa opened her blue eyes, heavy lidded, and stared back at him. There was a tension that seemed to be felt by them both, their lips collided. Narcissa brushed her lips more firmly over his, it was Severus who broke away first.