tw: emotional abuse, mature content, domestic abuse
Dinners at Sasuke's house were always enjoyable.
Mikoto was in charge of preparing the food, assisted by Sakura. Sasuke laid out the cutlery, while Naruto ran around the table with Shisui.
Only Itachi and his father were sitting on the couch, watching TV. Sasuke's brother had been having a lot of coughing fits lately and couldn't strain himself, and Fugaku was spending all day at work.
"Will you finally calm down?" Sakura heard Sasuke's angry voice.
He was clearly fed up with Naruto interfering with his duties.
"Oi, don't be so indignant anymore, Teme."
Stirring the salad, out of the corner of her eye she noticed the same expression on Sasuke's face that said: One more word and you're dead. She laughed in spirit.
Recently, Sakura noticed that her friend had a problem expressing his emotions. The pressure his father was putting on him, and as a result, he began to as well, was too much. Sasuke complained that he was insufficient, and treated every failure as a curse. Outbursts of aggression or silence were caused by his father's inability to express his own feelings, as well as Sasuke's mother, who always tried to justify his father and his frequent recent absence.
"Sakura, please put this platter on the table."
"Okay, Auntie."
Having placed the dish in the center of the countertop, Sakura returned to the kitchen. They quickly tackled the rest of the food and after just a moment, the table could be seated.
Pumpkin soup was served by Shisui with the help of Naruto. Next came the main course brought by Sasuke, and finally dessert.
They ate appetizers, putting tomatoes, olives and other snacks on their plates.
"Do you think if we fail the mission again, Kakashi will suspend us?" asked Naruto with his mouth full.
Sakura turned her head to the left to look at Sasuke. Uchiha made a disgusted face.
"Me and Sakura didn't do anything wrong. You're the one who fucked up."
They felt Mikoto's burning gaze. Sakura sent the woman a fake smile, trying to control the situation. Mikoto shied away from cursing at home.
"It was an accident!"
"You are an accident."
"Sasuke-kun.", she hissed.
The boys looked at each other disdainfully. Sakura had long since grown accustomed to their disputes. She cut off a piece of salmon for her plate, deeming the discussion closed.
She handed a quarter of the fish to Sasuke. Sakura enjoyed sharing the food she prepared herself. Uchiha scooped a piece onto a fork. Before he put it in his mouth, he spoke to Fugaku, who had only been talking to Itachi and Shisui since lunch began.
"I was the best of the group last time, father," he waited a moment. Fugaku took his eyes off his eldest son and waved the hand.
"Congratulations." Sasuke squeezed his fork tighter, "And you didn't have trouble with one mission recently?"
Sakura noticed how his hand began to tremble slightly. Sasuke did not answer his father. Tense with anger, he looked down at the plate. Sakura grabbed his thighs, adding support. The boy's muscles relaxed, but after a moment, as if realizing what he had allowed his friend to do, he moved his leg away.
"It could be saltier." he said deliberately, wanting to defuse the anger he got from his father's attitude, but not paying attention to who he was hurting.
Sakura went back to eating with a heavier heart.
…
It was a hot afternoon. Sun was shining fully, providing not a bit of shade. Sakura had finished her day at the hospital and was heading home.
Stomach admonished her for missing a meal. Sakura turned right, finally deciding on ramen. In the distance, she spotted Sasuke with Naruto. They stood and talked, and the blond laughed, patting his friend on the shoulder.
"Are you finished yet?" she asked, appearing right next to them.
"Aa."
"Great!" Sakura clapped her hands "I was going to go for ramen alone, but since you two are free now we can walk together."
Naruto threw his arm around Sasuke's neck and looked at Sakura with amusement.
"I'm sorry, Sakura-chan, but I'm the only one who can go. Teme is meeting a girl."
Sakura's heart froze. Sasuke had never been the type of person to go out somewhere with others, much less girls.
"I'm only supposed to help her." he rolled his eyes "You make a big deal out of it."
"You rarely help anyone." Naruto commented.
He laughed at his friend's irritated face. Sakura, for her part, stood and couldn't gather her thoughts. Naruto was right, Sasuke practically never does favors for others. Not once, at least, did he help her.
"Maybe you would also like to help me? I've been having a little problem lately" she fired out. Out of jealousy? Did she want to see if he would agree? Why did she do that?
Sakura felt herself blushing. After all, she didn't even have a problem with anything.
"I'm out of time this week."
"Ah, yes. It's okey."
Her stomach rumbled again. "Then shall we go?" Naruto poked Sakura in the side.
"Yes, yes," she smiled sadly at Sasuke. Oh stop making an idiot of yourself, she scolded herself in her mind, "In that case, I'll see you on my birthday."
"Aa." he mumbled and set them down alone. Naruto took Sakura's hand.
"Do you know that I'm just laughing at him? If Sasuke were to be with anyone, it would be you, Sakura-chan."
"You've been telling me that for almost six years."
Naruto didn't speak up. They walked three blocks, silently heading to the restaurant. Suddenly, a boy ran out from around the corner. He bumped into Sakura, scattering cards on the ground.
"I'm so sorry." he raised the head, and blue eyes bore into her green ones.
"It's all right." she said kindly. The gray-haired man picked up the cards and, apologizing once again, ran on.
…
There was barely room on the table. Chips, drinks, jelly beans and crisps took up the entire countertop. In the kitchen, Sakura had set out alcohol and pizza.
Naruto and Ino arrived early and helped her open the door for guests. Sakura didn't invite many people. She wanted her 18th birthday party to be held in quiet company.
The guest list included Sasuke along with his brother and cousin, as well as the rest of the people from Konoha's eleven.
"Where should I put it, Sakura?" Itachi appeared in the kitchen
He carried two nets with, of course, food from his mother. Mikoto took too much care of everything. Sakura would have to return the favor by stopping by for dinner after her birthday.
"Here." she pointed to the vacant kitchen counter "And where is Sasuke?"
"He'll be here in a minute. He was still getting ready when we left."
Shisui suddenly ran into the room. In his arms rested a large pink teddy bear. He hugged Sakura, handing her the gift.
"I thought of you when I saw this," he said. "Am I still a child to you?" she laughed.
"That's a silly question. You will always be that twelve-year-old Sakura-chan to me." he stroked her head, mussing her hair.
The doorbell sounded in the apartment. Sakura looked at Itachi, and when he nodded, she moved to open it herself this time.
Sasuke looked nice in a black shirt and belted pants. He combed his hair back, though a few strands still fell over his face. He handed Sakura a small box.
"Thank you." she opened the contents and a beautiful gold necklace appeared before her eyes. From the chain dangled a small daffodil "It is... beautiful."
"I'll tell my mother you liked it." Sakura only now noticed the second package held by Sasuke, "It's from me."
She put the box down on the table next to her and picked up a small bag. A bottle of alcohol, a new pair of gloves and a greeting card - 'Happy Birthday, Sakura' - lay at the bottom.
"Thank you." she put down the gift "There is food and drink. Help yourself."
Sasuke directed his steps to the kitchen. Sakura felt a small sting in her heart. When had he changed so much? She had known Sasuke for a long time, and until she was sixteen, he had always been a much more open person toward her, despite the difficult relationship at home.
They were friends, and as friends do, he often told Sakura things he wouldn't reveal to anyone else.
So what changed their relationship?
"Show me how you move that good ass of yours, Sakura!" shouted Ino, who from a distance could be seen that she was already a little drunk.
The girl spun to the rhythm of the music, and with her the rest. Only Itachi and Sasuke were sitting in the kitchen. Sakura wasted no time, she let herself be swept up in the fun.
Alcohol was pouring, music was ringing in the ears, singing was drowning out the tunes.
It was approaching three in the morning. Three people had left Sakura's apartment, heading to bed before tomorrow's work. Itachi was among them. Two others had gone to sleep in the guest room, while Ino and Shikamaru had disappeared somewhere. Shisui, for his part, sat over a vomiting Naruto.
Sakura, sipping the last of her drink, sat on the countertop. Sasuke was standing next to her. He was wandering somewhere with his thoughts.
"What are you thinking about, Sasuke-kun?" she didn't know what had tempted her to ask the question.
"About Itachi," he replied automatically. Sakura then took the conversation further.
"He's somehow been more pale lately. What's wrong with him?"
Itachi's illness was not a taboo subject, but the boy's deteriorating condition was conspicuous.
"He's dying." Sasuke drank sake all at once "And I can't do anything about it. No one can."
"I can. In two months, I'll finish training with Lady Tsunade, and I'll be able to take care of Itachi. I will keep him alive as long as I can, I promise."
Sakura jumped down from the countertop, grabbed the sake bottle in her hand and poured herself and Sasuke a full one. They shouldn't drink any more. Their speech was slowly becoming difficult to understand, and their gait was becoming more and more twisted.
She laughed, sipping. Even on Sasuke's face dawned a gentle, barely visible smile. His face had not been so relaxed in a long time.
"It's late. There's a spare room upstairs." Sakura drank the sake all at once, croaking.
Sasuke did not resist, just followed the girl. They entered the room, the air thickened.
They knew they would regret it. It was as if they could intuitively predict the future.
Sasuke grabbed Sakura tightly and pulled her close, pressing his lips to hers.
Using fingers, gently rough from so many years of training, he traveled along her back. Sakura felt a tingle of pleasure. She sighed.
The touch seemed distant to them, but they clung to each other, unable to stop. They kissed alternately, once on the lips, once on the neck.
Sasuke squeezed Sakura's buttock, savoring the sound she made and her breasts, still under her dress, rubbing against his chest.
"Someone here is impatient."
She ran her finger from his mouth to the waistband.
"I'm very impatient, Sakura." he whispered in her ear, making the girl shiver, "Show me what you can do."
Alcohol didn't allow her even an ounce of stress. Sakura unbuckled the belt and put her hand in Sasuke's pants. She squeezed his hard-on through the material of his underwear, and Uchiha sighed. He stared from under his eyelids as Sakura played with him.
A warm feeling welled up in his belly, his cock hardened. He felt like he wasn't going to be able to hold on any time soon, so he thrust his hips forward giving Sakura the; go ahead to finally take it out.
"Oh, maybe we should stop, Sasuke-kun, so many people around." he saw the smirk on her face as she moved away specially.
"Cut the crap and finish what you started," he said.
"And what do I get in return?"
Big green eyes looked at him innocently. Sasuke sank into her mouth again. Sakura opened her mouth, giving him more access. Slipping his hand under her bottom, he carried her to the bed, on the way getting rid of the pants that were already in his way.
The yellow dress rolled up to show white panties, damp underneath. He ran a finger over them in the air, and Sakura arched her spine, eager to feel his touch.
"And I'm the one who's impatient?"
"Sasu... Sasuke!" he pressed his hips against hers.
Sakura was breathing hard and fast as he rubbed his cock against her clit. He purposely did not take off the panties to take a moment to look at the desperation in the girl's eyes.
However, he knew he would not last long. Pushing the material aside, he inserted one finger into Sakura. She moaned, starting to move in rhythm. Did Sasuke know what to do? Theoretically. Had he ever practiced? No.
But since Sakura showed no signs of discomfort, he concluded that he was doing fine.
"Ohhh..." she slid the neckline of her dress down, releasing her breasts.
Sasuke stared first in awe at how beautiful Sakura looked, then finally shaking himself off, he pressed his lips to one nipple. The other he ran his wet thumb over. Sakura, through Sasuke's lack of fingers inside her, ran her hand down and began to play with herself.
Her knuckles from the hand touched Sasuke gently. Stepping back to have a view of all of Sakura, he removed his underwear to mid-thigh and caught his cock in the hand himself.
He masturbated to the masturbating Sakura.
Sasuke would have liked to be able to enter her, to feel her clenching wall on his member, but he didn't take any protection with him. But oh, how he'd like...
"Condoms are in the drawer." Sakura pointed with her head exactly where. Sasuke blinked "Please, Sasuke."
Her pleading tone, combined with desire, moved his muscles. He pulled out a condom and put it on. With his head he touched Sakura's entrance, savoring the girl's moans.
"But, Sasuke, I am... a virgin." she blushed, as if it was a cause for embarrassment.
Sasuke was too, but he didn't say so. He leaned over Sakura with one hand occupying her breasts, and placed kisses with his lips. He entered her slowly, watching her face carefully.
She was tight at first, so much so that Sasuke thought he might come at any moment. After a while, she began to relax, and he felt like entering her all at once.
When he finally entered Sakura fully, he wondered how he would last more than two minutes.
"Say when..."
"Aah, you can already." her face twisted strangely. It was neither discomfort nor pleasure.
He slowly moved his hips. He wanted to give Sakura the best possible sensation. Sasuke sped up at Sakura's cue, but increasingly felt that he would finish.
"Sakura, I'm about to..." he interrupted, moaning.
He didn't want to come before her, didn't want to, didn't...
"Come for me, Sasuke-kun."
A long, muffled moan ripped from his throat. He kept moving his hips. Gently he sank down on top of Sakura. The girl finger-fucked herself, wanting to achieve the same thing as Sasuke. When he noticed this, he wanted to help her, but she knocked his hand away. So Sasuke went back to playing with her breasts.
A few seconds later he was looking at Sakura's beautifully contorted face from pleasure. Her walls began to pulsate hard around his cock again.
"This was the best birthday present I ever got,"
…
The ceiling shimmered with a million colors from the headache. Sasuke had been lying down and listening to Itachi cough for two hours. He had no way to help his brother when the attacks were coming.
Shisui and Mikoto watched over him, but Sasuke couldn't look into his face and see the blood and paleness signifying lurking death.
"Shisui will take him to the hospital, Sasuke." Mikoto appeared in his room.
He saw fear and tears in his mother's eyes.
"I'll go with him."
Getting out of bed, he felt all his muscles tense. Two months ago, after Sakura's birthday, Itachi's condition worsened day by day. Since then, Sasuke was like a walking ghost. He even distanced himself from friends.
"Fuck... fuck, fuck, fuck..." Sasuke and Mikoto froze "Sasuke! Sasuke!"
He rushed out of the room, and when he appeared at Itachi's door, he noticed Shisui shaking his shoulders and trying to wake him up. His brother's face was covered in blood and sweat.
And his brain shut down. Sasuke acted like an automaton. He reached the hospital, handed Itachi over to Sakura and her team and sat down in the waiting room.
His family was hanging around somewhere, but he paid them no attention. He felt anxiety, fear, pain, sadness, anger at everything and everyone. He wanted to scream, hit a wall or someone, cry or laugh at the meanness of life.
But Sasuke was just sitting with a face expressing no emotion and staring at the wall.
He spent three, damn long, hours in this position. When Sakura finally emerged from the operating room she did not have a cheerful face.
"We tried our best. He's in a coma for now."
"You said you would take care of him. You promised that nothing would happen to him."
"Sasuke-kun, we are only human. We kept him alive."
She squeezed his shoulder and wanted to stroke his cheek with her other hand. Sasuke pulled away abruptly, not wanting to be comforted. He wanted nothing, from no one. No words. Sakura put her hand over his heart.
"Don't touch me." he hissed through clenched teeth. The girl made a puzzled and hurt face. In her head, she was probably replaying her birthday and what happened on it, and what they never talked about "Just because I fucked you out of pity doesn't mean it meant anything."
She hit him.
Sakura didn't even put a quarter of her strength into it. She just wanted to let Sasuke know that he had hurt her and waited for some words of apology. He, however, stood in silence.
"I'd say it was me who fucked you, Sasuke. You didn't even make me come," she flashed past him.
She never indulged in provoking and hurting others the way they did, but she was annoyed by the impassive expression on Sasuke's face. He looked as if he didn't even understand how much he had hurt her.
With tears under her eyelids, she allowed Mikoto, Fugaku and Shisui to enter Itachi.
Sakura tried to push Sasuke's words out of her head, but they kept replaying. What if he was telling the truth? But then it was real to her, as if he wanted to sleep with her because of some feeling, not to just fuck her.
The door opened in front of Sakura. Shizune was just coming out of a meeting with Tsunade. Sakura greeted the woman and went inside.
"And how is he, Sakura?"
"Here is the entire report, Lady Tsunade." she placed the pages on her desk.
"Hmmm.", she read silently. Sakura noticed someone off to the side. The gray-haired man she ran into not so long ago, "Good. You'll still have Itachi in your care, with extra help. We have a new student."
The boy approached, extending his hand toward Sakura.
"Isao.", he smiled.
"Sakura.""I hope you will work well together." Tsunade handed Sakura the report.
"We will certainly work well together." Isao put his hands in the pockets.
…
The fifteenth of July was the hottest day since the beginning of the year. Naruto was sweating under his thin blouse and dreaming only of a cold shower. However, there was still lunch at Uchiha's.
He got an invitation from Shisui yesterday and couldn't refuse, as the boy pestered him for two hours.
Naruto mused, in his mind cursing Shisui for dragging him out to dinner, and ran into Sakura.
He hadn't seen her in a long time, he thought to himself.
All this time she had been busy taking care of Itachi, who still hadn't left the hospital.
"Sakura-chan! How good to see you. I see you've already finished your work, that's great! Shall we go together?"
"Where?" she pondered a moment "Ah, dinner, well, yes. Sorry Naruto, but I said no."
His jaw dropped. Sakura had refused to meet where Sasuke would be. She, who had a crush on him for so many years and never missed any opportunity to see him.
"Why and how? I had to agree,"
"Sometimes you have to be able to object."
"A-" he was interrupted by a loud male voice calling out to Sakura.
A gray-haired man ran up to her and, smiling, began to ask if she was doing anything else today and if she wanted to go with him to the restaurant. And, to his dismay, she agreed. Naruto stood in shock listening to this, feeling that he was not at all a step away from them.
"I'll see you some other time, Naruto!" she said goodbye, walking away with the boy.
…
Sasuke knew that Naruto was waiting for this meal to end. His curiosity and shock emanated a mile away. The blond boy wriggled in his chair and looked at him the whole time.
And when they finally found themselves alone in the kitchen, washing dishes, Naruto couldn't stand it.
"Sakura went to a restaurant with some boy. Do you understand that?! Teme, we have to do something about this."
Sasuke felt his heart pounding and blood humming in his ears. He clenched his jaw.
Don't do anything stupid, said one voice in his head, it's because of you.
"Sakura can do whatever she wants,"
"I don't deny that, but you know... Well, everyone can see it at first glance." Sasuke looked at him with a grimace. He had no idea what his friend was insinuating: "That you like, like Sakura."
"I don't." he denied quickly.
"Don't lie to yourself. That intensity of your gazes and the gentle touch that..."
"Stop it."
"...you both exchange. God, sometimes it seems to me that with your eyes alone you are fuc..."
"Shut up!"
He was heartily sick of it. He didn't want to hear any more about Sakura
and what 'was' between them.
"I doubt we'll see her here anytime soon, Naruto." Shisui looked at Sasuke as if he knew.
He had to know.
"What did you say to her, Sasuke?"
Desperation, he sensed it from his friend.
"We had a little exchange of words."
No one said anything else. Sasuke's tone testified to his reluctance to talk further.
You let it happen yourself, the other voice repeated, you screwed up yourself.
…
The beeping sound of the machine testified that Itachi's heart was still working. He had been in a coma for six months and Sakura was slowly losing hope that he would wake up.
Isao was preparing another report while she was changing the drip.
"I've been wanting to ask you about this for a long time." he began, tapping the pen against a piece of paper, "That boy who often comes here and whom you are clearly avoiding, who is he?"
Sakura froze. Who is Sasuke to her? At one time she would have said one of the most important people, but now the only answer that came to her mind was - he already belongs to the past.
She waited so long for him to apologize or talk or whatever, but he did nothing.
He didn't even try. And Sakura couldn't look at him.
"My former friend."
"A former friend? What happened between you two?" Isao approached her with the report already written. Sakura looked away "You don't have to talk if you don't want to. It's probably difficult for you." he tucked her hair behind the ear.
"It's a little hard for me. We were friends for quite a long time."
"I understand."
She looked at him and didn't know what; what factor made her kiss him.
Perhaps she wanted to forget what had happened? Or maybe she wanted to replace the feeling of sadness with another, much nicer one, finding it in a person so different from Sasuke?
…
It only took one visit to the hospital for Sasuke to learn that Sakura had someone.
At the time, he walked past her office, whose door was gently ajar. Sakura stood on tiptoe and kissed the boy. And Sasuke then felt a sting in his heart.
Although he shouldn't; he brought it on himself, Sasuke repeated all the time.
Itachi looked at him with tired eyes. He woke up two weeks ago, but his condition was still unstable. Doctors had him under observation.
"I can see that something is bothering you, Sasuke."
"Everything is fine, Itachi." he tried to avoid his brother's gaze, which was drilling a hole in his head. He might not have broached the subject with most, but he could never lie to Itachi "I said something very stupid to Sakura."
He fell silent.
"And you're sorry and you'd like to fix it, but you don't know how."finished Itachi for him, "Talking is the key."
"She will not want to listen to me" Sasuke didn't even try to consider another solution "This has already happened several months ago."
Itachi shook his head, and Sasuke remembered that his father did this whenever he was disappointed in him. Anger, sadness and a sense of worthlessness sat in his stomach, accumulating and riding up to his throat.
"Sasuke?"
Sakura
He took three deep breaths before speaking up.
"Can we talk, alone?" he looked meaningfully at the boy.
"Isao, check Itachi's health results." Sakura sent a gentle smile.
Sasuke and Sakura left the room. She stared at him, waiting for Sasuke to start.
"Those words were a mistake,"
"Apparently the words weren't the only mistake," she snorted.
Sasuke knew it would be difficult, but she didn't make it easy at all.
"Sakura..."
"...sorry."
"I wish I could fix it." he didn't even look into her eyes, "If you let me." he didn't know if he would be able to bear what he could see in them.
"First I want to hear one word. Then we can think about fixing the friendship."
Friendship... he didn't think he'd have to rebuild a bond that, arguably, wasn't quite what he wanted.
"I'm sorry."
…
Re-building a relationship with Sakura and spending time with her was nice and necessary for Sasuke, because then he didn't think about Itachi's condition. But, surprisingly, seeing her laughing, dancing and be happy with someone else was no longer so wonderful. Even more so when she looked at Isao the way she used to look at him.
And when Isao looked into his eyes as he was kissing Sakura, it was as if he was laughing at him.
Sasuke felt like ripping his head off.
And why did he agree to come here? Ino invited friends and friends of friends and even a few strangers to a pre-Christmas party.
"Sasuke-kun, why are you standing here alone? Come play." he didn't even know her.
Sakura was walking toward him. He saw her point her finger at him and move. Sasuke tensed slightly.
"Sorry, but I'm borrowing him." he didn't look around to check the stranger's reaction.
"Where are you leading me, Sakura?"
"We're going drinking!" she hugged him around the waist and pulled him close "Look who I brought!"
Isao poured sake, and Naruto refrained from laughing.
"If I wanted to take him out here, he wouldn't agree," he commented.
All four stood in the kitchen, drinking and laughing, except for Sasuke. He simply watched everyone and only answered Sakura's questions.
Suddenly Sakura snagged the edge of the countertop and spilled the drink on Isao's blouse. Sasuke saw the boy's jaw clench and anger painted in his eyes, but he quickly put on a gentle face.
"Sorry." she tried to wipe the stain with a handkerchief.
"It's fine, but I'd like to go home now. I'm tired."
Sakura looked at Sasuke and Naruto, and he could tell by the expression on her face that she didn't want to go back at all.
"... Oh, okey."
Having said goodbye to everyone, Sakura finally got a breath of fresh air.
The streets of Konoha were empty and dark, with few lighted windows.
Sakura walked beside Isao, not even trying to grab his hand. She had noticed recently that the boy was nervous all the time.
However, she didn't ask him what was wrong.
"It would have been nice to stay longer."
"Sakura, I told you I was tired."
"I know, I know, I just... I don't know." she had no idea how to continue the conversation with him when his tone made it clear that he would prefer her to be quiet.
"Then can you not talk about it anymore?"
"Sure." their footsteps were the only sound drowning out the silence, "And I'm sorry again about the blouse."
"I already said..."
"I know, although it's too bad you couldn't see your face, it was brilliant."
She laughed, and her cheeks lifted upward only to fall immediately through the pain on the face.
Sakura held her right cheek, which was burning. The red mark would surely remain.
She longed for a safe place, away from him, where Sasuke and Naruto or Ino were.
She wanted to run away, also to hit him, to say something, but she couldn't. Her legs seemed to glue Sakura to the ground.
Sakura stood looking into his eyes, with pain inflicted not only physically but also mentally, wondering who this man really was and whether she would be able to get away from him, while he said over and over again: Sakura, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to; it was an accident; you know I love you.
…
Each successive blow was less painful. Within six months, Sakura had grown accustomed to it. Helplessness and fear took over her. She was afraid to tell anyone, so she sat quietly. She didn't know how to stop Isao when each pain was followed by kind words and apologies...
And then accusing. It went from; I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, to; It's your fault, you should have not pissed me off.
And living in constant anxiety and vulnerability, Sakura sadly began to believe that it was her fault.
She just didn't want to believe that the boy she met; always smiling, able to make people feel better and supportive, really was a monster.
"Sakura, are you listening to me?" she felt Sasuke's gaze on her face. She raised her head from above the documents they were reviewing "You've been absent lately, what's going on?"
The truth almost came out of her mouth, almost.
"Nothing, I'm just tired. I sleep badly."
Sasuke wanted to say more, but held back.
"Hn. We're done for today. Go home and get a decent sleep."
"Could I..." stay here?
If only she had been braver, she would have said so. Then Sasuke would probably start asking more questions and finally she could no longer lie to him.
But she didn't want to see the disappointment in his eyes when he'd heard how she was letting herself be pushed around by someone else. Because after all, she was doing it, right? What else would she say when she had the power to rid Isao of her life.
Sakura felt that if she didn't get out of here right away she would burst into tears and could no longer say anything.
"Then I'll see you tomorrow"
Leaving Sasuke alone, Sakura walked toward the exit. Silence enveloped the Uchiha house, and all the lights were out. No one should be home that evening.
"You forgave him quickly."
Nevertheless, Shisui sat down on the living room couch.
He stared at Sakura, expecting some kind of reaction. She didn't have the strength to get into a larger discussion, but apparently a conversation with Shisui had to happen eventually.
Sakura saw him looking at her during their little 'argument'. So he was probably waiting for an explanation and a desire to understand why she was still in contact with his cousin.
"I haven't fully forgiven him." she commented, adopting a mask on her face, "But Sasuke is trying. I don't want to end my friendship with him because of stupid words spoken in a flurry of negative emotions."
"Sasuke often can't control his emotions when something bad happens to his friends and family. Itachi doesn't have much time left." Shisui got up from the couch and approached Sakura, "Sasuke will try to cut himself off from his friends then."
"I know, and that's why I'll be at his side to support him,"
"He may once again hurt you with words."
"I am aware of that." they slowly approached the exit "But you don't have to worry, Shisui, I can handle it. Sasuke will need our help then."
"You are so concerned about others and smart, Sakura, and Sasuke is... perceptive." Shisui stoped and Sakura turned to him "You've also been overly alert lately. You only wear sweaters or sweatshirts and don't allow yourself to be touched much. Even Sasuke. What's going on?"
Sakura opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She didn't know what to do, what to say, how to react, so she laughed to distract Shisui, who was looking at her too seriously for him, from her embarrassment.
"Nothing, I swear. If something was going on, I would have told you. You believe me, right?"
She needed to know if her pretense was going well. How long would it be before someone caught on.
"Of course I believe you, Sakura."
…
The evenings became increasingly chilly. Wind blew Sakura's hair away, giving her extra shivers.
Together with Naruto and Sasuke, they were in the park. She was sitting on a bench with the blond boy, and Sasuke was standing next to him.
They talked about all sorts of topics; missions, the hospital, personal and family matters.
It was nice to finally spend time with friends, away from Isao.
"...And boom!" Naruto raised his hands, laughing to his heart's content. Sakura enjoyed their presence.
And then a recent conversation with a friend popped into her head, which she didn't know at the time if she felt like having. However, she needed to get confirmation from Sasuke if it was true.
"Oh, I just remembered, Sasuke. I heard that you've been seeing someone lately."
She looked at her friend, but Sasuke measured Naruto with the eyes. He must not have known he had told her.
"I've only seen her twice. Father's request."
"Ah, that means they want to push you into an arranged marriage." Sakura bit the lips. Something ached in her heart "What is she like?"
"She is nice and smiles quite often. That's all I know, she doesn't talk much."
At least Sasuke will be with someone good, Sakura thought.
Naruto sat quietly, as if carrying on a conversation with Sasuke without using speech. Sakura sensed the tension they had created.
"Well, it's time for me." she broke the awkward silence. She sat with them for too long, it will soon be a new day. Sakura stood up and shook her friend's hand, "Congratulations."
"Sakura, you don't have to..." she fell into his arms.
How long it had been since she had embraced a man of her own free will. How much she wanted to feel safe in someone's embrace.
"You deserve to be happy, Sasuke." she whispered.
Suddenly they felt more arms tightly embracing them. Naruto joined in.
"Each of us deserves."
After a few minutes of hugging, Sakura finally went home. The apartment was quiet and empty. Her parents had gone outside Konoha again, leaving her alone. She should start living on her own soon anyway.
Entering the kitchen, she placed the shopping net, she had made earlier, on the counter. The light came on.
"I was waiting for you."
Hands of the clock struck midnight, and chills ran through Sakura because of that voice.
"What are you doing here? And how did you get there?"
Isao took the keys out of his pocket, smiling sickeningly.
"I got the keys. You shouldn't be angry, we've been together for over a year." she was not so much angry as terrified. This was also where her parents lived, and he now had unfettered access to their apartment "I need to talk to you.", he approached slowly, lurking like an attacker on his victim "I don't like that you spend so much time with your friends.".
Sakura eluded him, walking over to the kitchen counter.
"What do you want to eat?"
she tried to avoid another conversation that would only end one way.
"Don't change the subject,"
"You didn't have a problem with it before."
With trembling hands, she searched for a cup.
"Because you had a quarrel with one." he tucked Sakura's hair behind her ear, gently sliding the fingers down to pull her with all his strength. Her neck arched, and he pressed his slimy lips to hers. She felt his breath on the face "Uchiha..." his dry lips touched hers as he spoke, "I hate him. I wanted him to suffer. And do you know what hurts him the most? Hurting the people he loves."
"What did he..." she began in a trembling voice, but Isao interrupted her.
"Shh, it's not nice to ask such questions." he let go of her hair, and Sakura knew he had pulled some of it out "But do you know what I want now, Sakura?" he ran his hand over her back "Exclusively you. Let's leave Konoha."
"No..."
He turned Sakura to face him, so that her back was touching the kitchen counter, and placed his hands on either side of her. He leaned in close, too close.
"Maybe I'll say it another way. It's better for you if you agree. I don't think you want something to happen to your parents by accident."
She couldn't even answer. Moving from the spot was not an option. Sakura's muscles didn't want to do anything, her arms hung limply along her body. Her breathing was shallow and rapid. A growing panic gripped her mind.
And when Isao started kissing her neck and touching her belly and the area under the breasts, Sakura imagined it was Sasuke and his soft lips and hands.
But most of all, she wanted to believe that this is what she wanted.
…
Yesterday she lay in bed all day. She had no strength to do anything. Isao left the apartment in the morning and Sakura hasn't seen him since.
For twenty-four hours she wondered what she should do. Because she should do something, but she was so afraid.
But maybe that time has come. After work, she will go to Mikoto and tell her. Sasuke's mother was the closest of all adults to her. She will know what to do.
"Good morning," the nurse snapped Sakura out of her reverie.
"Good morning." she nodded and moved on through the corridors of the hospital.
She reached the medical cards room and started looking for Itachi. However, she couldn't find it, so Tsunade had to take care of him today.
Sakura moved on, playing out possible scenarios in her head. What will happen? How will Mikoto react? What if the rest find out as well?
"...Yes, yes." Tsunade's voice.
Raising her eyes, Sakura noticed a woman standing in front of the hall.
"Lady Tsunade, I'm ready now. Could I have Itachi's cards, please?"
"Sakura, I'm so sorry."
"No." the word was thrown to the wind and floated into the abyss, and with it flowed all the pain and despair.
Sakura slid down the wall and landed heavily on the floor. She sat like that for an hour, two hours, half a day, until it became dark outside.
By this time, Mikoto had already arrived at the hospital, and her shrieking scream echoed in Sakura's ears until now. Fugaku silently received the news, but before Sakura could see his expression, he was gone. Shisui cried quietly, clutching the material of the sweatshirt just above his heart.
And Sasuke didn't appear.
Maybe it was already 6 pm, or maybe 8, Sakura didn't care. She got up from the floor, slowly paving her way through the streets of Konoha. She looked like a zombie; pale, with blackened eyes and cracked lips, barely lifting her legs up.
Passing through the door to Sasuke's house, without knocking, she climbed the stairs. Through the ajar door, she could see the boy, dressed all in black, leaning against the bed and looking into the distance, with empty eyes.
Sakura sat down next to him, curling her legs up and wrapping the arms around them. She rested her head on his shoulder.
Sasuke's hard shell fell away. Moments later, tears flowed.
…
Sasuke went through the three phases.
The first was quiet. He allowed Sakura and Naruto to come to him and comfort and touch him. He didn't talk much, but thanked them for being next to him.
The second was dominated by anger. Sasuke was screaming, getting furious and was sick of the presence of others. He used to say; "Can you finally fucking leave me alone?!"
And in the third he distanced himself from the friends. Sakura came every day, but was always sent away by Mikoto, who explained how much Sasuke didn't want to see anyone.
This had been going on for a month and, although Sakura had earlier planned to tell her aunt about everything, she dismissed the idea, not wanting to burden the poor mother grieving over the loss of her son. So one evening, after a few threats and frightened parents who had no idea who sometimes breaks into their house in the evenings and leaves various, strange objects, Sakura sat down to write letters.
She wanted to deliver them to Ino, Naruto and Sasuke.
Tears came to Sakura's eyes on their own as more words were written down on the paper.
She wrapped them nicely in envelopes and left the house. People were walking briskly that morning, and birds were chirping in the background. Entering the Uchiha mansion, Sakura greeted Sasuke's relatives with friendliness and smiles. Everyone was so happy.
Finally, she arrived at his door.
She knocked and a moment later Mikoto appeared at the threshold.
"Sakura, sweetheart, what are you doing here?" the poor woman had blackened eyes, red eyeballs and greasy hair.
"Is Sasuke here perhaps? I have something for him."
"There's already someone with him. Why don't you come next time?"
There might not be a next time, she thought.
"Oh, I didn't know he was already letting guests in. But that's okay. Would you, auntie, give him this?"
Mikoto took the red envelope from Sakura.
A knock broke the overwhelming, awkward silence that had been going on for an hour as soon as Keiko came to him.
"From Sakura." Mikoto didn't even cross the threshold of the door.
Sasuke rose from the ground and picked up the letter. His mother went back to her place, probably locking herself in her room for the rest of the day and not showing until morning.
The envelope had a single, barely visible tear stain.
He turned to Keiko, hoping the girl would understand that he wanted to be alone, but she was still standing in the same spot. Sasuke sent her a meaningful look.
"What?"
"Maybe it's time for you to go home?"
"No. I told my parents I wouldn't be until three hours later." she smiled innocently.
Sasuke had to calm his nerves. He didn't want to say something stupid or raise his voice. It wasn't Keiko's fault that her father and his told them to spend a lot more time together.
It was just as much not her fault that she was forced into a marriage with Sasuke, which was already due to take place next year.
"I have something to do. Alone."
Keiko looked as if she was wondering if she should definitely leave his room. Fugaku will probably ask her later why she went so early. But she finally left Sasuke.
Examining the envelope carefully, Sasuke found nothing else on it. He opened it and started reading.
'Dear Sasuke
I am writing because I don't know if I would be able to give you this message verbally. Lately I've been thinking a lot about a certain, important thing, more specifically about moving to another village.
Don't get me wrong, I love Konoha and my life here, but something is missing. Maybe an adventure, or maybe a change of scenery.
That's why I've decided to leave this place. You know, we're only in our twenties, a lot still to come.
I don't know when you're reading this, but there's a high chance that I'm no longer at home. I plan to leave as early as possible.
But I want to tell you one thing - I will never stop thinking about you. I'll be back one day, I promise.
Yours Sakura'
Lie.
A lie written down on paper and signed with his friend's name. But it wasn't Sakura, not the one he knows. It was the part of her he hadn't learned much about. The wounded one.
But Sasuke was going to find out by whom and why she decided to write it.
He banged on the door, even praying in his spirit that she would be home. He lost Itachi, he couldn't her.
"Sakura, damn it, open this door!"
"Sasuke, stop. I don't want to talk about it."
She stuck her head out through the opening, but did not open it wider. Sasuke had had enough. He pushed past Sakura.
"I don't believe a word you wrote. Something has been going on for a long time, and you don't want to tell anyone about it."
"I don't know what you're talking about," she said too calmly.
"Don't play dumb, Sakura." she pulled down her eyebrows in sadness "Since Isao came into your life something has changed. What has he done to you?"
"Why do you say it's him? Maybe it's Naruto's fault, or my parents', or yours, or that Ita...!"
"Don't even finish it." they measured each other with their eyes "Will you finally say what's going on?"
Sakura stood in silence. Sasuke placed the envelope on the table and slid it toward her. Since she didn't want to talk, he had no intention of forcing her.
"In that case, have a nice trip."
He grabbed the handle and was about to leave when he felt a firm grip on his forearm.
"Okay, Sasuke, you're right. I need help."
"I don't want ... I can't tell you exactly what he did to me, but ..."
Her tear-drenched eyes, the expression on her face that spoke for itself, what was going on behind closed doors.
"That's enough for me."
…
A dark room, with curtains drawn. The chair that creaked with every turn. Silence, broken only by Sasuke's breathing.
He waited, counting the seconds in the head. He stomped his foot, considering various means of punishment.
"I didn't think she would finally tell you."
He appeared.
Sasuke twisted the chair. The sharingan flashed red. Isao did not step back, but looked him in the eye.
"And I didn't expect that you like to beat up innocent people."
Isao smiled disgustedly.
"I love their screams, but hers were my favorite. Sometimes I wondered if my parents sounded similar when you killed them."
Sasuke tried to keep his emotions in check. Just a moment more.
"Unfortunately, I can't tell you that." he stood up "But since you love screaming so much, now you will be able to listen to yours. For two days, without a break, until your vocal cords tear and you can't speak. And until your head stops functioning properly and you can never move normally again." he hissed, and before Isao had a chance to close his eyes, Sasuke threw him into a world of torment and torture.
The boy collapsed, writhing on the floor. He would have been happiest to settle the matter with his hands, but he promised Sakura he wouldn't do that.
She preferred worse methods.
…
Sakura was sitting in a chair, with her back to Sasuke, when he told her it was the end of her agony.
She couldn't believe it. Things changed so suddenly; she didn't have to fear for her life at every turn. Sakura could go back to the way things were before.
"You should tell Ino and Naruto that you're staying. They will be worried." Sasuke squeezed her shoulder.
"I'll do it tomorrow."
She swallowed saliva, not wanting to cry again. Although she had suffered through Isao; he was her personal prison from which she could not escape and she was the one who came up with the punishment for him; her heart squeezed and she had no idea what to do. She had become addicted to his presence, in a bad way. Her body remembered the defensive reflexes, and though he could no longer harm her, Sakura knew that she would not be able to get rid of it quickly.
"It's all right now." he squeezed Sakura's forearm and moved to exit.
Sakura wanted to shout after Sasuke that nothing is fine, but she couldn't. He had no way to understand.
"Will you stay?" she asked hopefully.
"Aa."
There was one bed, made up for two people. Normally, Sakura would have no problem sleeping next to Sasuke. She had done so as a child, even sometimes they slept with Naruto, and Sakura also lay with Sasuke together almost two years ago, but now it was different. For now, she couldn't bring herself to do it.
"You can sleep on..."
"The floor is enough for me."
Black turtleneck shirt, hair behind the ear, face so gentle. Nothing at all had changed. He was still the same Sasuke she had spent half of her short life with. Sakura embraced him, grateful to have him by her side.
...
Days were passing fast. Too fast. A whole month went by since Sakura was 'rescued'. And Sasuke had only seen her about five times.
She closed herself off; avoided work and leaving the house; refused to meet. There was less of her than before.
Sasuke felt useless without being able to do anything. He discussed it with Shisui, Naruto, his mother and even father; of course, bypassing exactly what happened to Sakura; but nothing helped.
So he decided to take matters into his own hands and talk to Sakura in person. No matter how much she might try to get away, Sasuke wanted to help her.
The window was open. A lighted lamp signaled her presence in the room. Snow had settled on the window sill. Sasuke slipped inside.
"What are you doing here, Sasuke?"
"I came to talk."
Sakura poured water into a glass.
"I don't feel like it."
"I'll wait."
She sighed, not continuing. Sipping the water slowly, she lengthened the time. Sasuke leaned against the countertop, watching her long, mid-back hair, unwashed for days, and her gray blouse with stains. Sakura murmured quietly.
Until the cup broke in her hand. The glass spilled to the ground, injuring her fingers. Blood flew in a trickle, dripping onto the wood. Sasuke took a bandage from the drawer where Sakura always hid them. He approached her, but Sakura leaned her forehead against the wall, her shoulders shaking.
"You have no idea." she said through a clenched throat, "You have no idea what's going on in my head. I can see him. Everywhere. I'm afraid he'll come here suddenly or I'll meet him on the street." Sasuke took Sakura's hand and began to bandage it "I can't leave the house because of the fear that takes over my body whenever I think of Isao. I can't function like this." she grabbed desperately at his shirt "I feel like I've lost myself somewhere and I want to find it now, Sasuke."
He also saw Itachi in everything he did, saw, heard. He was in pain, too, and yet he was doing much better than Sakura. He yearned for a new, better life for this dear, kind girl.
"Let's go on a journey."
"What?"
"Konoha hasn't been good to us lately. Why don't we go find a new place for us?" he raised the hand to touch Sakura's cheek, but she moved away. He apologized silently "Why don't we go find ourselves?"
"And your marriage?"
"I don't have a way to get married if I'm not at home."
She looked at him in disbelief.
"Would you do that for me, Sasuke-kun?"
"I would do anything for you, Sakura."