He hangs spanned between two worlds.
Two options, each at one point in his life more likely than the other, which he entertains simultaneously so that he does not have to let go of one or the other.
The one world moves on, with or without him. He observes and sees how his plan is being prepared for with fuel and explosives, but he does not intervene, and no one seems to need him. He focuses his everything on what his feet feel, and they do not touch the boots he should be wearing in his current predicament.
Still, he does not let go. He cannot fully drift off into the bleakly comforting unknown of the other world. The other world, which seems to exist in function of himself, where Bertholdt awaits him and each day ties Armin to it just a little more.
In one world, he can do nothing and still see improvements in his life. In another, his inaction comes at a devastating cost.
The other world is almost starting to look like the escapist fantasy, and with each passing day, he minds that he spends all of his time there just a little less.
Clang.
A visitor, seated right in front of him.
He stares deep into those intense eyes.
Wood under his feet and seat. Textile. Long-sleeved shirt. Long pants. Warmth. Salty stew. Metal. A table. Green eyes. Long hair. An unshaven beard.
All part of the other world.
He looks around uneasily. No one else seems fazed by Eren's presence. There's no way to tell if he is an invader from another world or if he is truly there.
"Where have you been?"
His voice is deep and flat, but Armin has known him long enough to know that beneath that calm, he is brimming with rage.
Armin puts his spoon back into his stew.
"Living," he says before he puts it into his mouth and swallows his bite.
"You've destroyed Liberio."
Armin looks around the dining area.
"Looks pretty intact to me."
"You're not thinking straight," Eren answers. "You've just killed thousands of innocent citizens. All because I asked you to. But you'll need to accept it one way or another. It's our only way forward."
"Can you please stop?"
Eren blinks at that, for the first time wide-eyed and surprised. Armin doesn't bother to keep eye contact, favouring finishing his lunch.
"Stop…?"
"All this. This isn't helping us, Eren. We need to wake up. It's the only way we can build a new life. Together. Don't make me walk out of here alone."
"So it's true, then," Eren hisses. "Bertholdt has gotten to your brain. You're letting the enemy control you."
His fist hurts. His knuckles are red when he looks at them. Then, he is struck and he crashes to the floor before a couple of kicks land on him. He manages to crawl away while Eren gets restrained, blood gushing out of his nose.
"We made contact! The rumbling has started and I'll destroy the entire world!" he frantically yells before they jab a syringe into his neck and the power drains out of his struggles.
Armin knows that his turn will soon follow, but when his back bumps against a wall and he gets a good view of the dining area, it seems that staff are busier pacifying the rest of the room than they are trying to catch him.
In fact, he seems to be seated at his table again, feeling a little light-headed but generally fine as his hand lies limp against the rim of his bowl.
He sees when he is approached this time. He can feel himself smile as a giggle hums through his throat. He's not sure why.
The person joins him across from him, crossing his arms over the table.
"Hey, Armin. How are you doing?"
"Braun…" Armin whispers back.
"You know you can just call me Reiner," Reiner answers, tousling Armin's hair before laying his arm back on the table. "Please, don't let me keep you from eating."
Armin complies. His spoon doesn't cooperate very well and he drops it back into his stew with a splattery plop. His hand feels weak.
"Oops, looks like you're gonna have to wait a little with that," Reiner says as he takes the bowl and puts it out of the way before offering Armin a tissue, which he accepts and uses to dab his face clean again. "I heard you had a scuffle with Eren."
"Bertholdt…"
"He's not in until this afternoon. You'll have to make do with me for the time being."
It doesn't matter. Reiner is always as kind and helpful here as he was in the one world. Without his trauma and guilt, he seems to do just fine. Sometimes, Armin wonders what it would've been like if Reiner had been his guide for the other world instead of Bertholdt.
"They say you laid down the first punch. Do you remember what this fight was about?"
"Bertholdt…" Armin repeats.
"I'll tell him," he says, "and then you two can talk about it. Just hang in there for a few more hours, alright?"
Reiner is better at mitigating Armin's cryptic answers than Bertholdt is.
Armin nods. He's swaying side to side and it's sending butterflies through his spine. He doesn't feel bad at all when he speaks up again.
"Why does Eren know about the titans?"
"It's your world," Reiner answers. "You came up with it together."
"He's real?"
"Eren is real."
Armin hums. He sways a little harder as joy shoots through his stomach. Bertholdt never talks about Eren to him and Armin was starting to believe that maybe, Eren was another person long gone from his life. Like the others. The euphoria of the fact that he's really here drowns out all other feelings.
All but one.
If he's real, then why doesn't Bertholdt ever talk about him?
"Where?"
"We keep him inside his room most of the time. He hasn't been at his most stable lately, as you've seen in the cafeteria. He wasn't supposed to be out, but he's been known to be slippery."
Running away from Armin again, except in a different way this time.
"Doesn't he know it's not real?"
"We're not sure," Reiner answers. "He's not well. Bertholdt told me you've made stellar progress, but Eren seems simultaneously more aware of his surroundings and more dead-set in his ways than you've ever been."
"If he knows it's not real, why would he say it?"
Reiner sighs. "Some people like the power they hold over others when they can make them believe what they want them to believe without necessarily believing it themselves. It could be a way for him to escape. Maybe he thinks it's better for you. I haven't gotten much out of him. What matters is that you're not responsible for what he says and does."
"Why does he hate you?"
At that, Reiner chuckles. "He can be grumpy, but I wouldn't say it's hatred."
That's not how it sounded. Eren has calmed down over the years, but that hatred for Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie has always remained. But Armin has seen him so little these past months that he very well may no longer know who Eren is.
A knock raps on the door.
He gains weight again.
He doesn't bruise quite as easily anymore and he feels more alive. Bertholdt tells him his numbers on the scale have been steadily rising and his food finally tastes like it should again.
The scratch wounds on his wrists and ankles have almost all healed up, turning into scars he loathes will blemish his body for the rest of his life. He still wears long sleeves and pants to avoid putting ideas in the others' heads, but he no longer needs to wear bandages on his limbs.
His mind only rarely wanders off to the one world anymore. They trust him to take his puzzles into his room to distract, and they prove sufficient. His grasp on how to write numbers has gotten good enough that he can solve mathematical puzzles and equations now.
Bertholdt jokingly suggests that he should go to college and get himself a degree in the sciences. Armin considers it a long-term goal.
Armin regularly spots him walking the grounds with Onyankopon, laughing as they make small talk. Onyankopon doesn't wear the same coat as he does, and Bertholdt is always in high spirits when he visits.
He has long accepted the memory of the kiss as false, but he can't shake this feeling of unease when he sees Bertholdt talk to Reiner, Onyankopon, or Annie. Why was that a memory he'd made up? Why that in particular?
He'll need to shed it if he wants to get somewhere. There is love outside these walls. Love that's within his grasp.
During the moments where he did get Bertholdt's undivided attention, they've been working on his memoir together. Armin has let Bertholdt in on his and Eren's world. Full disclosure. Their conversations haven't been easy as Armin regularly had to accept some harsh truths about the validity of cherished memories. But they're getting through. He writes down what he can't say and Bertholdt understands what he has written.
Bertholdt offers insights into why the two of them may have transformed certain events. Why an earthquake that shook the internment zone and the death of Eren's parents translated into a wall breach. Why every police raid he escaped by the skin of his teeth chiselled away at Armin's psyche. How Eren managed to find Armin's weaknesses and colour them in as he saw fit.
It's not his fault, he says. Some people are just like that.
It makes Armin's stomach bubble with rage, but he doesn't tell Bertholdt.
So long as no one's around to see his ankles, Armin is allowed near the pond again. He sits comfortably in the grass, pants pulled up to his thighs and legs submerged in the water by the middle of his calves. The cool water is divine against the hot temperatures of the end of summer.
He swings his legs back and forth. He looks up to Bertholdt, who stands next to him, and smiles. He gets one back.
"I have good news," Bertholdt says.
"Yeah?"
"We've reviewed your progress. I'm not alone in thinking that we can get you permits to leave Paradis and move around Liberio for the day, given someone is with you. I can take you outside very soon. We can go visit the art academy you were excited about."
Armin perks up. He smiles widely and pulls one leg out of the water to turn and look at Bertholdt more easily.
"Really!?"
Bertholdt nods.
"Really. Give it a few more weeks and I think you're ready for another evaluation. You have achieved everything they require for a permit."
Armin can feel his eyes sparkle at the prospect. Paradis can set him up to offer him an education. If he can stake out the place where his future lies, his adaptation period will be far shorter. There is help for him here.
He turns again, letting his leg fall back into the water so that he can paddle his feet through it to control his euphoria.
"Do you think they'll like my work?" he asks.
"I'm sure they will. If not, you have time to take their critique to heart and expand your portfolio. You can use what they teach you and apply it to the work that appeals more to your tastes. You're adaptive enough to do such a thing."
Armin's smile deepens. He pushes the ball of his feet over the slippery bottom of the pond and leans his hands behind him in the grass, his right landing next to his stress ball.
"It'll be alright," Armin reaffirms. "Everything will be alright."
The sun shines bright over the garden walls. Soon, he will see Liberio with fresh eyes. Something inside him feels so powerless over the fact that he will spend the rest of his life locked up between walls, but he's slowly coming around to accepting that he can still live a meaningful life under Marley's oppression.
It's fine to sit back and watch. He can resist in other ways than to lead the charge. If he can make even one person's life better within these wretched walls, then his life has meaning.
"You know," Bertholdt says behind him. "I haven't told you this before. My job requires me to be impartial if I want to remain objective. And yet, out of all the people I have taken care of, you are my favourite."
Armin looks up at him. In the light of the sun, he's by default a little more tinted, but Bertholdt looks particularly warm as he smiles down upon Armin, framed by a halo of sun shafts.
"I honestly can't wait until I can walk you out of here a sane man. You can graduate from art school. Find love, start a family, build a life. I'd love to stay in touch and see you all the way through it."
Armin smiles back. Maybe his life has meaning.
The only thing about his health that has worsened are his sleeping habits. He can no longer collapse in any bed and immediately fall asleep. The real world's troubles weigh him down more than those of the one world. It doesn't help that for an hour before he finally started dozing off, he's been wiggling his legs under the sheets.
Permit came today. Bertholdt has called for arrangements. In just a few days, it could finally be time for the rest of his life to begin.
No one would be able to fall asleep with such excitement on the horizon.
When pressure covers his body and he cracks his eyes open to cold green ones staring into his, he can only stiffen and hope that this isn't a glimpse of reality. His bed doesn't allow him to recoil any farther and the weight follows him, until he's effectively cornered, two hands to the sides of his head and a face nearly pressed against his.
"Wake up."
Armin stares. His voice is stuck in the back of his throat and he doesn't breathe.
Textile. A long-sleeved shirt. Long pants. Bedsheets. Darkness. Pressure. Weight. Green.
He can't bring himself to grab his stress ball next to his headrest.
"Eren… Go back to bed," he manages to wheeze out.
Eren lingers before he scoots back. Armin uses the distance to push himself upright against the wall behind his bed and pull his legs closer to his chest.
He hasn't seen Eren in months, if not longer. Even in the darkness of his room, he can see just how tired he looks. The reason why they haven't been allowed together is more than obvious.
"We need to talk."
"You shouldn't be here. How did you get out of your room and into mine?"
Eren doesn't answer.
"Eren… I don't want to play this game anymore. If you can't come back to reality, you shouldn't take me down with you."
Again, silence. Eren just stares.
Armin doesn't know what to do. He again scoots back as far against the wall as he can, but Eren only uses it to come closer. For the first time, Armin is afraid of his friend, of what he might do now that Armin no longer takes part in his world.
"Soon, I will be stopped. By the time 80% of humanity has been wiped out. You'll be the ones to do it. You and Mikasa."
Armin sighs. This must be how he sounded for years.
"Listen, Eren… You can leave and go back to your room, or I can yell for help. If they find you here… It won't end well. Things will just get worse. Don't make me do that to you. Please."
Once again, Eren remains quiet. Then, he backs off, looking off to the side with hooded eyes. Armin has known him long enough to know it's deep hurt.
"Soon, I will be dead."
Armin's heart skips a beat.
"What…?"
Eren's eyes remain pinned on the wall.
"In just a few days. I won't live through this. I've seen it. I have no choice but to do it. You can't be free otherwise."
He gets off the bed and Armin feels like he can breathe again.
"Our fight can be our last real conversation if that's what you wish."
Dragging his feet, he makes his way towards the door again.
Does he mean it or is that just a way to make Armin stay?
Does Eren really think that, or is it just a part of what he believes? Is he going to do something stupid? If he can leave his room and wander the halls unsupervised, he has access to means to endanger his own life. Would he?
Armin has long accepted that he will eventually be separated from Eren, but not like this. He'll leave and turn his life around again. He will build a living for himself. And then, he will come visit. Show Eren what he can achieve if he finds the will to live and turn himself around. Spend the rest of his life, if he really needs to, trying to save his best friend from the grim fate he himself was once chained to. Never give up on him.
What if Eren truly wants to escape this hell the easy way? If Armin calls out for help, Eren's life will become even worse. If Eren doesn't, they may kill him instead.
Eren reaches the door and Armin's heart stops.
"Eren, wait!" he forcefully whispers out, crawling to his hands and knees to reach out to him. "Don't go. What do you mean, you'll soon be dead? That can't be true, right?"
None of Bertholdt's warnings and accusations ever turned Armin fully against Eren; the feeling of relief that floods his body when Eren retracts his hand from the door handle again betrays that much.
Eren bows his head.
"You're coming after me. You want answers. You want to confront me. You can't just let me do this."
Armin sits still for a moment trying to process those words. He loosens the tension in his thighs and slides down to sit between his knees.
"It'll be with blades. You will hold me still, Mikasa will decapitate me and bury my head beneath the tree we climbed as children. You will be free. You'll remember me for the rest of your long lives and you'll be finally free."
"Eren… Mikasa isn't–"
Real. Mikasa isn't real. Not the one he's talking about.
If she is, then she is long gone.
He breathes in deep.
"I don't want to have to remember you, Eren, I want to be with you in life. Why do you want to die? Is your suffering that unbearable?"
No answer.
"You…" Armin continues. "You need to let them help you. Reiner and the others. They're here to make you feel better. Everything changed once I let them help me. You don't need to die, Eren, please… I promise you it can get better."
He's begging at this point. Anything to make Eren stay and not wander off to his own doom.
Eren takes an eternity to respond. But when he does, it's with a glance over his shoulder Armin's way.
"Do you remember the day we met?"
Armin perks up. He doesn't. He knows what they have made of it, but he has thus far been unable to piece together the details into an accurate account of reality.
"I'm sorry. I don't."
Eren looks off to the side, then turns and walks to the foot of Armin's bed.
"You let your bullies beat you up. Like now, you sat against a wall crying. But you didn't back down, and that made me curious. Do you remember?"
Armin nods.
A small smile appears on Eren's face. It's the first time in years Armin has seen him smile and it pierces his heart now that he realises.
"I'd never met someone like you before. I wanted to know more. And when I ran away and I expected you to stay, you instead followed behind me. I knew from that moment that you were special."
He never felt special. Not for any of the things he did that day. Not for following Eren, who far exceeded anything he ever was.
"You came home with me that day," Eren continues. "You ate my mom's cooking and slept in my bed. Your grandpa wasn't so happy about that."
Armin can't subdue the smile that wells up after that. They must have had a good time and Armin misses this Eren so dearly, but he doesn't exist. This doesn't exist.
"Do you remember when you first showed me your book? It was one of those terribly hot days. I was bored out of my skull, and then you came running towards me with the world in your hands. You changed my life that day. You showed me that there was something beyond those walls that's worth fighting for. That there was a great emptiness out there that we could go explore together. That I… was never free."
"I do remember," Armin answers out of a sympathetic sense of nostalgia. "I don't think it's impossible for us to still see the world, Eren."
Eren sits down on the bed. This time, his presence doesn't smother Armin.
"I've seen those places," Eren says. "I can show you those places."
Extending his hand Armin's way, he waits. Armin can only look down on it with wide eyes, unsure about what he can even do. Eren wants to share this with him. No matter how far gone he is, doesn't Armin simply yearn for a connection with a friend who has drifted away from him over the years?
So he grabs Eren's hand, and they sit quietly on the bed as a certain calm floods Armin's nerves.
"Do you remember the endless plains of ice?"
"I do."
"They're like that because of the angle of the sun," Eren explains. "So much light reflects off the white ice that it never melts, so it's a permanent snowscape. The animals there have all adapted to the cold. Their coats are white and thick and they have more fat than any other animal. In the sky, there dance lights of all colours in long, thick strips. They're there because of the sun too. It ejects particles and they bounce off of the field that protects the earth."
Eren stares so intensely at their interconnected hands during his explanation. Armin can visualise perfectly what beauty it must be from the detailed description. He can't imagine that many humans would make it to such extreme conditions. What would they need to survive travelling to such a frigid landscape?
"What about the fire water?"
One of the most mystifying concepts in his whole book, one that has held Armin captivated for many nights where he couldn't fall asleep.
"Yes."
"It's not actually water," Eren continues. "I've stuck my hand in and healed again. It's molten rock. The entire earth's core is molten rock, and the fire water– the lava is what flows out when the earth's internal pressure gets too much and the crust gets punctured from the inside."
"Like a pimple?" Armin crudely interjects.
Eren sighs out a silent laugh. "Like a very hot pimple. The rock flows down the crater and gradually cools, making it look like gooey, red-hot glowing thick water. If you were to dig in it with a shovel, you could pull it loose and scoop it up like paste. When it cools down, it becomes black rock again and it puts nutrients into the ground that plants can use to regrow. Everything it killed comes back eventually."
"Wow…" Armin whispers. "How do you know all this?"
"I've seen it," Eren answers. "I've seen everything and I've been there long enough to understand how it all works. With you."
Armin looks up at him with sparkles in his eyes. It's like reading his book for the first time again, all this new information paints those pictures in his mind in even more vivid detail.
Eren talks about how the pressure of the earth forms the mountains, about huge forests that provide the earth's air, about shields of invisible energy that protect them from the sun, about why there is a moon and why the stars look the way they do and about why the ground sometimes trembles.
And then…
"The ocean," Eren says. He sits against Armin, holding both of his hands with his own as his face betrays his pain. "I've never seen something as gorgeous as the ocean."
Armin waits with wonder in his heart to hear what comes next.
"It is a shade of blue, almost white, like you've never seen before. Much like the sky above it. It pushes and pulls, ebbs and flows, as the moon tugs on the water wherever it may stand. It's vibrant and colourful and perfectly refreshing on a hot day, surrounded by white beaches larger than anything a human could dig away in their lifetime. And it's so salty that you can taste it in the air. It reflects everything like a mirror. At some times of the day, when the sun stands low, it's like looking straight into the sun."
Eren's grip on Armin's hands tightens. In the faint light of the night, Armin can see that his cheeks are wet. Armin needs to mind his breathing, hacking and stuttering at each exhale.
"I wish I could see it again. I wish I could go there once more and taste the salt on my lips, feel the cool water rinse over my feet. Be with you. All of you. Feel happy again, just once."
He looks up at Armin and Armin feels his face tremble.
"But it's gone now. It's all gone now, because I had to, and because I wanted to, and– and–"
He hacks, then sobs. Armin draws him in close, embraces him tighter than he ever has, and lets him cry it out as the tears stream down his own face.
All Eren wanted was freedom. And now that he has a chance to get it, he can't even enjoy it. It constricts Armin's chest to think of how much Eren must have hurt over these past years without Armin there by his side to help him through. All this time, he was off with Bertholdt, letting himself be helped. No wonder Eren wants to die.
But there's something else on his mind.
That description of the ocean. That sight that Armin knows he has seen before, that matches up so perfectly with the photographs Bertholdt has shown him.
Eren has seen the ocean.
Eren has seen volcanoes and the north pole, and mountains that touch the skies, and the earth's atmosphere, and everything else in his book — when he should have no means to do so.
The other world has a discrepancy. A hole in its fabric which cannot be explained.
He can entertain without accepting, and right now, Eren needs him.
"You've… really been there," Armin whispers.
"Of course," Eren answers. "Why would I lie to you? Why about something this important? You know that I want what's best for you."
He does.
He does.
"It's been so painful to see you drift farther and farther into what you thought was real," Eren confesses with a shaky voice. "I've been desperately trying to get you back. We all have, but you got so far away from us. I thought I'd never see you– the real you again before my time was up."
Armin can't puncture this. He refuses.
"Is it too late?"
"No. No, it's never too late," Eren answers, his spirit reinvigorated. "You can still come back. Bertholdt doesn't define you. What he showed you does not need to become your new reality. When he tampers with your memories, that does not need to be how you see the world. You're much too smart for that! You're much too good for that! He just wants you to think that you are useless and ordinary because he is angry at what happened to him, but you're not. You are Armin Arlert. You're special. You were born special and you have made yourself special. You'll be the hero who saves humanity, but you need to be there. Not wherever Bertholdt takes you. Please. Come back to me."
Armin can't breathe. He can't. He simply can't. Not after everything he has worked on. Not after the progress he made.
Eren stands by the door.
"Soon, I will be dead."
And Armin bursts. He runs after him, turns him around, and holds him by the shoulders.
"You can't leave me…"
"You know it's what we have to do. If you want to find freedom… I have left you the key. But for now, I have to go. You will forget about me for a while, but eventually, you will remember."
Armin remains silent, but he extends his hand unwillingly. In it, he has something he knows is of immense importance between them. Something that should be hard but is soft, that should be conical but that is round. And Eren looks down on it with surprise.
"Then… In that case, thank you," Armin says. "Thank you for everything. Thank you for being there. Thank you for being with me."
Eren accepts his offering and they hug. Armin can feel it's the last time, how powerless he stands against the ebb and flow of time, but he can make peace with it all.
He will be humanity's saviour.
He will be humanity's saviour.
He doesn't get much sleep that night. Or the nights after.
Eren doesn't return. He notices that his stress ball no longer rests next to his pillow, now replaced by a key. Armin hides it well. Somewhere he will remember and where others won't find it.
He entertains. Over and over again, to the point where he is so busy trying to find an explanation for that one detail that doesn't make sense that he barely pays attention when he walks through the familiarly alien streets of Liberio and he gets his chance to show his work.
Bertholdt steers him away from interacting with them. He leads the conversation and tells them Armin is just having a bad day.
Anything to keep him there. With him.
It makes less and less sense. He wants it to be true, but even Bertholdt said it: he can see for himself and find his inconsistencies.
He didn't.
Now, he has.
Bertholdt doesn't show up again for a long time once he opens his mind to the possibility that his world isn't real.
Eren's words resonate through Armin's skull. The curse would end. The shifters would be laid to rest. Marleyans and Eldians would unite and the world would be better. He would lead them.
It's the only explanation that covers everything.
It all started with the idea that his world isn't real.
Wouldn't that be convenient for a Bertholdt whose own survival relies on how off-kilter Armin is? Wouldn't it play right into what such a Bertholdt wants to make Armin feel stupid by convincing him he can't write, to make him feel insignificant by convincing him he is powerless, to make him feel unreal whenever he strays from the parameters this Bertholdt has decided he should live within?
It fills Armin with rage. To entertain the idea that he was taken advantage of, and to slowly start to adopt it as fewer and fewer details make sense.
"Something happened," Reiner one day tells him. The third day where he doesn't spend all of his time alone in what Bertholdt defined as his room. "With Eren and Bertholdt."
Armin doesn't buy it. He knows exactly how Bertholdt died. Reiner is in denial because he never got to work through it and he has missed his chance, and now he applies the other Bertholdt's tactics.
Everything about this world tries to turn Eren into a horrific monster when he's so much better than that. He's the one who has made it possible for them to unite. To say that he died from something as lowly as public hanging over a murder he couldn't have possibly committed is an insult to everything he gave up for them, and Armin refuses to hear anyone out again.
He starts to dig his nails into his palms in frustration. He refuses the familiar memory of a ball they give him, he tears off the bandages they wrap around him, and he struggles until that restrictive shirt tears loose. He chooses that he will resist this world until it can prove itself to him, but it never does.
It's the other Bertholdt's doing. He's jealous. He's jealous that Eren died a martyr whom Armin still loves. He's bitter that he lost. He wants to drag him down to his level, and Armin refuses to let him. His time has passed. The Colossal Titan is gone and so is he. He's done.
It tethers Armin to the real world and he reconnects with his purpose as he leads the surviving masses into a better tomorrow.
He's getting better.
He's getting better.
The ocean looks entirely different at winter's dusk than it does during a summer day.
Armin realises that he has only rarely visited it at night, favouring the warmth of the sun to shine on his face as he stands peering out at the horizon. He stands shivering on his ankles as the cold, wet sand freezes right through his skin, but he won't leave. The key to freedom Eren offered him led him right here.
Eren's the one who called him here. He can feel it. Armin would be just like the others if he denied him the kindness of answering.
So he stands. Looks. Reminisces.
It's been years since the day he stepped up and claimed responsibility for taking Eren's life. The dust has settled over the rumbling and humanity stands strong together as they help each other rebuild a world without walls.
Yet tonight, he does not feel freedom.
No countries remain to fan the flames of death and perpetuate the cycle of hatred. He's starting a family of his own and can soon introduce his child to a world that is free of war.
Yet tonight, he does not feel peace.
They all reunited and came together as allies, not enemies. Some of his friends have found love, the others happiness. Against all odds, he even got his chance to meet Bertholdt — not the version of him that tries to drag him under and destroy who he is, but the real one — and accept what has happened between them.
Yet tonight, he does not feel connectedness.
This vast world is so empty without Eren in it.
The moon glimmers peacefully in the ocean's waves. He tastes the salt on his lips and feels the cool water rinse over his feet. It's a sight he would've loved. It's a sight they should've enjoyed together. If only Eren hadn't been so busy chasing an ideal timeline where they fix everything at the cost of his own life.
Eren's sacrifice is honoured.
Sasha is well-remembered by her friends.
Erwin's legacy is finally fulfilled.
Hange is given a large funeral after the fact.
Lines have been washed away by the waves but will forever be remembered by those who live on.
And Bertholdt…
Armin is certain that the others remember him in their own way, even if they can't talk about it. Reiner and Annie have grown quiet, but he cannot blame them. There have been instances where the other Bertholdt, or rather, Armin's memories of the other Bertholdt, have tried to throw him off this path again, but Armin knows more than ever now who it is that he is, who it is that he is meant to be. Who it is that he chose to be.
Maybe that's why Eren called him here tonight. As a test. To see how far he has come, and to finally make peace with the one element he never quite fully accepted.
So he walks forward into the waves. Disoriented, he falls, and he only stops when he stands waist-deep in the freezing cold of the swaying waves. His lungs drain at the sudden shock, but he finds his balance and eventually his calm.
He extends his hand over the water, turns it, and lets his final memento of Bertholdt sink beneath the waves as the ocean reclaims it. The only element from the other world that never took on its original form again. Something that should not exist here, abused and coming loose at the seams. Something that will soon turn waterlogged and sink, never to be found again.
It's finally time to put his memories to rest.
To let this twisted version of a friend go, so that he may find the same peace that Armin has in a world beyond theirs.
That he may find a friend, the way Armin has found Eren, who will help him see the light and pass on.
That he may be helped the way the world has helped Armin.
That he may see his mistakes and find himself through them.
No one is beyond help. He has the fullest confidence that when his time comes, he will find that whichever world comes next, too, has achieved the same inner peace that his own has.
The waves wash Bertholdt away.
And Armin smiles.
And Armin smiles.