Aster
. . .
Chapter Summary:
Two years later, at the Hyakinthia again, her fate shifts.
. . .
Under the bright morning sun, Kassandra walks through the all-green fields. There, she sees a man. His silhouette is familiar. The sunrays blind her, she walks closer. Her heart almost jumps out of her chest with anticipation. She is getting really close.
"Kassie! Wake up, sleepy princess." Alexios yells.
Suddenly, her dream dissolves. She is lying on her bed, eyelids still closed. Her little brother wakes her up with his cheers. He is just ten years old, no longer allowed to live in the house with them, sleeping with the rest of the boys in the agoge. Today is an exception that he is allowed to visit his house and spend the day with his family, because of the preparations of the Hyakinthia. This is the only reason Kassandra is glad that her birthday is mere days prior to the big feast. Today she is seventeen. It has been almost two years since she met with that man, whereas she didn't hear or see him ever again since that day.
She wished and hoped. She still recalls that night sometimes. For a whole year she kept the hope alive, thinking about the mysterious man. The sweet soldier, she used to tell herself. He was so kind. Nothing was heard about the incident. He could have ruined her reputation without trying. Only claiming that he sent a boy away that was touching her would be enough. She and her family would be ashamed to leave the house for a long time. She wanted to see him, still does, although, she doesn't know how. He didn't come to meet her not even once. He may not even remember her anymore. Why would he? He is a grown man, he can marry, go wherever he wants to. Why would he sit down and dream about a shadow girl?
Last year, at the same day of the summer feast, she decided to try. It was the only way to reach out somehow. She left the festivities again, just like that first time and went to the same spot. She sat down and waited. She waited for hours, but no one came. Her head fell in disappointment and she sighed. She returned to the celebrations and apathetically watched around her as the people danced and drunk and laughed.
Her brother with his joyful mood and loud laughter brings her back from her thoughts. Alexios climbs on her bed and almost jumps on her back. He crashes her with his body and bounces on her cutting the air off her lungs, laughing loudly above her ear.
"Ouch, Alexios! You're heavy!"
"No! You are old and weak!" He calls between laughs.
"I'm only seventeen, Al. Ouch, get down!" She protests with a grumble, slightly annoyed with the brutal and abrupt awakening.
"Old! Old, oooold!" He teases sticking out his tongue.
Nikolaos and Myrrine rush inside. They try to hide their amused faces, but not before their daughter witnesses them. Her father orders her brother to stop and apologize at once. However, Alexios only ceases jumping and lies on top of her back mocking his sister. Irritated, she rolls over grabbing his wrists and bringing him down. A smug grin plays on her lips before she starts tickling him mercilessly. She can't actually get mad for more than one minute with Alexios. She enjoys the torture and knows he likes being tickled, too.
The fun is cut short as her mother calls her name sternly.
"You are a grown woman. Behave, Kassandra. This behavior isn't fit for the wife of a king."
Kassandra freezes. Her mother's words couldn't have been worse. She wishes a thousand times over to punish her and humiliate her rather than this. So, what she heard two years ago was official. Her gaze shifts from her father to her mother, seeking answers. Nikolaos shakes his head and motions outside the door.
"We need to talk, sweetheart. Alexios, stay here for a while, my boy." The Wolf says.
The three make it out of the room, leaving her brother alone and confused. They settle down around the table quietly. Nikolaos is mostly facing his hands, guilt evident all over his face. Myrrine takes the role of the head of the family speaking up.
"There is a proposal from the king's son, Pausanias. We consider it for your own safety and for Alexios's."
The young girl shakes her head. "You can't be serious!"
Myrrine purses her lips. "Kassandra. You are an Agiad, your brother is an heir and the king feels threatened by us, in a way. We had better unify the two houses."
"No! I don't want to marry Pausanias. He is so much older and have you seen his nose? How can you ask me this?"
She sounds ridiculous, she must admit. The fact that she doesn't like him, remains and that's what should matter. Besides, his character isn't any better, either. Her parents should, also, be already aware of that. Turns out, she isn't ready to face it. All the argumentation she had prepared is erased from her brain, everything in her long arsenal of words and reasons, are all gone. She hasn't the right tools to fight them back, not when they bring up something that important.
Her mother's voice rises. "Do you understand what's at stake here? We are talking about your and Alexios's life!"
"So, you sacrifice me? You? When you defied everyone to marry father?"
"Silence! It was a mistake to defy them and I lost my brother for it."
For a moment she observes them speechless. Her mother looks sad beneath the mask of severity/rigor while her father looks resigned. Don't do this to me, she wants to scream. Instead, she forces herself to hold the unshed tears from falling freely and takes a deep breath.
"Pater, is there no other way? For Alexios to be safe?"
"I'm afraid not, my little bunny. Even a general is no guarantee."
Nikolaos probably refers to himself. He is the General of the Spartan army, he has power, but not enough. Her uncle was killed under suspicious circumstances, but they couldn't say anything. It's a lost cause. She must accept her fate and she will in due time. That's what she needs, more time.
"Don't marry me off yet! Please, at least delay it a few years. Mater." her eyes turn from her father's to her mother's and back. Pleading, hoping, praying and she continues before they refuse. "Claim that you haven't told me yet because I don't want to marry in general. Do me this favor. Please, give me... time."
Myrrine scowls in disapproval for her daughter's ungraceful behavior while Nikolaos seems heartbroken. He agrees and his daughter runs in his arms. Her mother scoffs, cautioning them not to bring anything worse upon their family and vanishes into the kitchen. She is so grateful for her father; he is the best. She couldn't imagine her life without him, wouldn't stand it. She kisses his cheek and whispers in his ear.
"I love you, dad."
Kassandra returns in her room, her brother is there waiting with his favorite toys to play together. She doesn't want to disappoint him. He is in no place to blame. He is as helpless as she is. When he does ask her what happened, she is torn. She hates lying to him, however, he is too young to understand and it will be hard for him to keep it a secret. So, she tells a small lie, that it had to do with her behavior from now on, in order to get married. He yelps in protest.
"No, Kassie. Don't. We won't be able to play together. I may be not allowed to visit you often." His small hands wrap tightly around her neck.
She struggles to breathe and his grip loosens. "By the time I have a husband, you'll be a grown man yourself, my fussy little ruffler. A proper soldier and don't say nonsense, you'll see me every day. In fact, you'll get sick of seeing me." She assures, rubbing his hair.
"Liar." He complains with a funny pout.
He is gotten maybe too old to do that, but it always affects her. He is still kind of cute. There is a glimpse of the child he was, not yet replaced by the teenage boy, in training to become a soldier. She pokes his nose with her finger and makes his lips curve in a smile.
"Alright maybe not so much, but it won't happen soon. Most importantly, you'll certainly not lose me, ever." She kisses his cheek and he immediately pulls away from her.
He makes a sound of disgust and wipes his skin with the back of his hand. She chuckles at his protests. He is at the point where he's too old for some things and too young for others.
She picks up his favorite toy and offers it to him reminding their postponed game. They sit down and play for a short time. Soon, he gets bored with this type of games and asks to go and play outside. She agrees to begin with hide and seek. So, he runs to hide and she stays for a while before going to search for him. She puts the toys away and as she reaches close to the window, she notices a light pink flower on the sill. An hyakinthus. She picks up the lovely blossom and brings it closer to her nose. Its aroma is wonderful and delicate. She places it on her bed and exits the room.
The days pass by in a blur. In the same fast pace, she loses any hope. The summer feast is here and is almost over. There is no difference, no change. Everything in her life remains the same, it is a really quiet prosaic one. She has her family and a few friends. Alkmene and Philothea are her closest, some other girls and young boys are part of the group, but Kassandra isn't actually very social. If it wasn't for Alkmene to drag her along with her and acquaint her with her friends, she would be lonely.
She feels like she has a rope around her neck. Every single day that goes by, it tightens. She is running out of time, she won't be free for long. This is what impels her to live for once and do some crazy young stuff. She reminds herself, she won't be able to have a chance ever again so she accepts the suggestion to go along with a group of friends. Since last year some of the boys and girls about her age, sneak away from the festivities to gather and drink at their own gathering. Last year, she spent her night alone waiting for the soldier that never came. This year, she has no time to waste for someone who doesn't even remember her.
With a single lit small brazier, casting a faint light on the youngsters of Sparta, the boys settle down and pass what they managed to steal from the tables at the festival. Offering most to the girls to impress them. One of the boys lays what seems to be an old linen cloak on the grass to place the food on it. Everything is set in record time. The food the wine and everyone is seated around at first. After the first round of wine, some stand and begin to sing, rousing the others and urging the rest to at least clap.
Kassandra laughs with the rest of the group as they sing their own songs and splash each other in the river. Three wine amphoras go from hand to hand, boys and girls take a sip and pass it through. She is sitting down with her legs crossed, face heated up by the alcohol. Maybe she should have stopped drinking, but she doesn't want to. She laughs louder now.
Alkmene is the center of attention, dancing and singing. Her long black hair wave with every move. Her hazel eyes are glued at one of the boys, probably flirting. Philothea is sitting beside Kassandra sharing a funny story about her and her two brothers. Kassandra giggles and takes another sip of the sweet wine.
Every problem seems smaller, far away from her. Is it so easy to be happy? She is not. Why is she laughing? She wonders, but her brain is unable to put the thoughts in one order. A boy approaches her with a suggestion. His name, Leandros. 'Come with me', he says and she no longer cares. Maybe it would benefit her to ruin her reputation. Maybe not. Still, it better be with him her first kiss than Pausanias. At least she will feel a spark in her heart hopefully, even if it's just the wine.
He's a pretty nice boy. Brown hair and if she recalls correctly light eyes. Maybe green. He is about a year older, about to finish the agoge. They often hang with the same friends, but they don't usually talk very much. She can tell it's her fault. She is the cold one. She never starts any conversation with the others.
She and Leandros walk a little farther from the group and he immediately rushes forward at her. He presses his lips on hers with force stealing her first kiss without anything magical like she expected. His hands touch her body over her chiton and attempt to pry as much as they can over the fabric. Her anger takes the best of her and her mind kind of clears up a little bit. She pushes him back and tells him to stop.
"Come on Kassie, we have fun. Don't be a whining virgin." He teases and tries to touch her again.
She slaps his hand away. "Malaka. Back off." She hisses loudly.
"Leave her alone." A threatening command. "Go and pour some water on your face, shithead."
The voice appears out of nowhere and startles them both. It seems familiar to her. Is it who she thinks it is? Can it be? How does he always appear on such moments? She turns her face to spot the figure of a man, wearing a helmet. Arms crossed over his chest. Leandros takes a step back in fear at first, but then finds his courage again.
"I may be a bit drunk, but I'm a friend of hers. Who are you?" The boy questions and stands beside her protectively.
"I know him. You can go, Leandros." She assures, still, a bit irritated.
"Not a word to anyone, kiddo. Or else, forget any chance for raising in rank in the military." The soldier threatens in a low voice.
The boy stumbles as he leaves. She follows the dark figure with her gaze as far as the darkness permits. She waits a few moments longer, letting silence settle, assuring he is out of earshot.
"Where have you been?" Her hands cross over her chest as she addresses the soldier.
"I told you Kassandra, I'm older. I had to stay away from you."
"Why appear now?"
"Because you were in danger."
Her mouth twist with a grimace. "You stay away by following me around like a creep?"
"No, just this day at the Hyakinthia. I keep an eye on you. Many get drunk during the celebrations."
His reply is immediate and his tone hits different, like he's offended. It makes sense. He cares. He watches over her when there are dangers lurking. Her heart recalls how sweet she has thought him to be and skips a beat from the flattery. Her mind, on the other hand, complains, alarming her that he let her down, breaking his promise.
"Where were you last year? You said... we would meet again."
He sighs instead of answering and she asks again with nerve.
"Close. You were fine so you didn't need me." He mutters unwillingly.
"That's what you think." She almost chokes, she inhales in a dire attempt not to cry. "Then you're a fool. I was waiting for you. Hoping you would appear and talk to me. We could..."
He interrupts her. "Shhh. What are you saying? You're drunk." His voice comes out hoarse.
"Not that much. I gathered you liked me, no matter my age and everything else. I hoped you would pursue me later, save me from Pausanias like you did with the man that first year." Her eyes begging to wet.
"I still can. You are only seventeen. There was no need to seek you at night in the middle of nowhere."
He thinks he sounds optimistic or soothing. His explanations offer no comfort to her. He may believe they're carrying on, picking it up from where they left it two years ago. As though all these months in between are nothing, but a day. So many dreams, destroyed by his choices. She shakes her head.
"You're wrong! My parents are this close to betroth me to him. And I wanted to have a chance to know you. You crushed my hope." With every sentence that leaves her mouth, an even more raged breath escapes her lungs.
The first tear drops, the moment she closes her mouth and unleashes a sea of oppressed feelings. Hot tears wet both her cheeks, but she refuses to make any sound. He realizes it fast and cautiously steps closer. His hand reaching out to her to grip hers. His touch causes a shiver through her body. She could swear, she felt something electric for an instant, like a tiny bolt of Zeus.
"Delay it. One year. Please." He begs, not so much with words as with his voice and the squeeze at her hand.
"Why? What's the difference now?" She asks between sobs.
"You'll have time to get to know me and if you love me, I'll ask your father for your hand."
It hits her like a slap, stopping the air in her lungs. There it is. Deep inside her core, renewed hope. A flame that fuels the small spark she had forgotten half dead strengthening it. However, she is no longer the green young girl with her head in the clouds. She has ceased living in her dreams. There are problems, doubts and obstacles.
"I don't even know who you are. How can I love you?"
"All in due time. You care for my name or my character?"
"Why don't you tell me?"
He sighs and starts pacing. It takes a moment before he finds his voice again. "Maybe, our families have a small feud. Maybe, I don't want you to misjudge me."
She sighs defeated. Fear rising in her chest. Who he might be. He could be someone she doesn't like. What about his appearance. She isn't the kind of person that cares mostly about the looks, still, she is young and she would prefer to be attracted by him. He could be the most unattractive man and she wouldn't even know it.
She hesitates. "When will I see your face?"
"You can't see it. You can feel it." He takes off the helmet and reaches out for her hands.
A shiver runs through her body from her fingertips to her toes the moment he touches her skin. His palms are calloused and not as soft as her own, a warrior's hands. He cups her hands gently with his and leads her palms to his face closing his eyes. The skin on his face is soft and lacks aging lines confirming his youth. He has no beard, he is clean-shaved, as she expected since he said he's a little over twenty. She trails upwards sensing the angles of his wide proud forehead, his thin eyebrows and his long thin nose.
Until now, his face feels so natural, so well-shaped. If only she could see him with her own eyes right now. She takes a deep breath tracing the sharp edges of his jaw and moving along to his chin. She gets goosebumps when she finally passes her fingers over his lips. She takes a small step closer ready to stand on her tip toes to reach him for a kiss. He makes no move. His hot breath falls on her fingers which still touch his lips.
She feels them open slightly and his face drawing closer. Instinctively she cups his cheek with one hand and lets the other drop. His breath tickles her face, now mere inches away. Her heart pounds so loudly in her chest, she fears he can hear it. Her lips part in anticipation and she turns her face upwards. He finds her hand and their fingers entwine together. The way they fit perfectly fascinates her even more. A part of her craves to lean forward and brush her lips against his. Another has a sense of worry that she shouldn't be here with him- a stranger- taking his word for granted and trusting him. What if she doesn't really like him in the light of day. What if he is someone she hasn't a good opinion about.
Her hand on his cheek then wavers and she retrieves it regaining her senses along. She doesn't move away from him, but she leans back.
Her voice echoes low with a hint of grievance, strange in her own ears. "You don't even tell me your name. Why?"
"It's better this way. Don't you trust me?"
"No, soldier. You are a thief in the night."
"I'm an officer, I work with your father. That's all I can say, but I'm no thief."
"Say it to my stolen heart." She whispers. "Does my dad know?"
"No. He must not. Not until I go to him with a proposal."
He states it with such an ease and graveness, simultaneously, that it puzzles her.
"You are full of mysteries."
"And yet, here you are." He reminds her, giving a little squeeze in her hand, she forgot wrapped in his.
She is too proud to admit he is right. She acknowledges the fact. Oh, well, what are her chances? Follow her heart and risk everything with him, or retreat like a coward and be forever trapped in a golden cage with Pausanias. No, she is going to fight till the end. Whatever occurrences may come, she will face the consequences.
"You know we have mostly a year. We can't meet again at the next feast." She begins and he nods. "Then, where? When?"
"I'll pass you messages to meet at nights. By the way, was the flower to your liking?"
Her eyebrows shoot up. "You left it there? It was wonderful, thank you."
"What's your favorite flower, my aster?"
Her breath catches in her throat. He just called her after the beautiful flower, the myth of the goddess comes to her mind. The two lovers who secretly meet at nights. She smiles and wishes she could see his own expression right now. His fingertips draw small circles on her skin as their hands hang loosely wrapped together.
"I love dianthus. They have so many colors and they smell incredible."
He brings her hand to his lips and gives it a soft peck. "That's what I'll send you from now on. You'd better return to your friends, now."
"No, wait. Promise we'll meet tomorrow."
"Kassandra..." He sighs and considers it for a while. "I promise."
She smiles widely, not that he could tell. Then, like she isn't controlling her body herself, she closes the gap and kisses his cheek before turning on her heel and disappearing in the darkness.
The next morning, everything seems like a fairytale. Kassandra fears it was a trick from Morpheas. She waits all day for a sign of him.
Nikolaos's voice startles her from the other side of the door. He walks in and closes the door behind him casting a glance at the corridor first. He settles right beside his daughter and begins what would be an everyday conversation if it wasn't for his unease.
It crosses her mind to ask him what's the matter, but by the time she decides to address him, he states he has something serious to discuss. His usual smile is nowhere to be seen and she feels her knees weaken.
His eyes stare hard at her. "Where do you disappear three years now at the feast? Kassandra, are you seeing someone?"
"No." She exclaims automatically, fear rising in her chest. She cowers under her father's stern gaze. "Not really. I met a new friend. He helped me and we talk."
"Who? You must stop this at once. If anyone saw you... I don't want to forbid you seeing the boy, but you must understand. It's serious."
"No dad. I assure you, we just met twice and I want to see him more. I could maybe marry him and not P-"
He cuts her off abruptly. "Enough, Kassandra!" He barks taking a few breaths to calm himself. "I swear I'll try not to marry you to the prince. Although, you can't marry a boy and you should never risk being seen with someone."
"He's not a boy." She whispers.
She instantly regrets it. Her father's expression becomes even more gravely stern and furious. His jaw is so tense that it must be painful. Her palms begin to sweat upon spotting the veins on his temples, knowing damn well, that they only appear when her father is extremely angry.
"What did you say?" He asks and when she lowers her head and remains silent, he fumes up and asks again. "Who is he?"
She is unable to raise her head and struggles hard to speak. "A soldier. He works with you."
Color drains from his face. He loses his voice. A soldier is a man over twenty. Whereas his daughter said 'with' not 'for'. Nikolaos has some soldiers under his command and then he works with commanders, polemarchs, lieutenants, all kind of officers. Who are all over twenty-two. Which means that approximately that man is at least five years older, which could be fine if she was twenty right now. Fear circles him like a hand around his heart. Grabbing forcefully. If that man stalks his daughter since her fifteen, it's not a good sign, neither a normal one.
"With me or for me? Who is he? How old... answer me!"
"I don't know, pater." She admits, hardly audible. Aware that he's patience is wearing thin, she is afraid of his reaction as she has no answers.
"Kassandra, you can't see him again. He is dangerous." He authorizes. "End of discussion. Stay away from him and if he bothers you, come straight to me!"
She mumbles an unwilling agreement. One she has decided not to abide by. Is she a fool to disobey and her father is right or is he overreacting?
. . .
Notes:
- Would you trust him or not? What do you think Kassandra should do?
Don't judge her too harshly, she's only seventeen.
Let me know how you feel about this story. Also, please, feel free to write a review to show your support. Thank you all!