Wanting More

by SPNJ2fanLW

Chuck is gone and life would be great if it wasn't for whatever is bothering Sam. Dean is beginning to think his brother is going to leave him again when Sam informs him it's just the opposite. He wants more. But Deans a little freaked out by that and he has to be dragged along the road to happiness. Special guest appearances in the end. Dean POV.

Wanting More

Dean walked into the library and sighed as he found his brother with a book in front of him but his head up and his gaze blank as he stared off into space. Deans stomach clenched in worry. Things had been so good the last 6 months since they'd defeated Chuck, but more and more Dean found Sam just like this, with his mind obviously elsewhere and he was afraid of just where that might be.

Was Sammy getting ready to finally leave him? Over the last few years Sam had assured him that he no longer wanted the so called 'apple pie' life and was happy right here fighting monsters with his brother but now things were different, and Dean was worried.

Ever since the day they had taken down God the angels had retreated back to heaven not to be heard from since and the new Queen of Hell had all the Demons on a tight leash, so that just left the ghosts and monsters which actually hadn't been all that much of a problem. This left Sam and Dean with quite a bit of time on their hands, and they had settled into almost a domestic life inside the bunker. Sometimes they took trips just to see Donna or Jody and of course ever since Clare had made her first trip inside the underground treasure trove, she had made a point of stopping in for weapons or research regularly. But mostly it was just Sam and Dean being themselves and actually getting time off to relax.

Sam even started building a website for hunters and putting a lot of his research online so they could help other hunters and they spent quite a bit of time cataloguing and copying things into the site which they were already getting positive feedback on.

Eventually Sam wanted to add a forum for hunters to be able to communicate with each other which could be used not just to find out information but to co-ordinate on hunts or alert others about a possible hunt that they couldn't get to.

Sam seemed so into this idea and had spent the last 6 months happily working away. But lately he hadn't seemed as focused or as happy and of course Dean worried because he couldn't imagine not spending everyday with his brother, even when he was being an annoying little bitch.

Dean was carrying two beers into the room with him and as he set one down it startled his brother from his thoughts and brought those hazel eyes Deans way. At first Dean had just planned to ignore it as he had been doing but he just couldn't take it anymore and needed to know what was going on in that big brain of Sam's.

"So, how long have I got?" He managed to say without sounding all girly and worried.

A confused look crossed Sam's face. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm not blind, I see that you've been thinking pretty hard about something lately, ever since you broke up with Eileen, and it's not hard to figure out you're thinking about leaving." Sam and Eileen had parted ways a few weeks after Jack brought everyone back and Sam had never opened up about what happened. One day his brother was making goofy smiles as he left to meet up with his first girlfriend in forever and the next day he informed Dean that Eileen was leaving for Ireland, they were over, and Sam was fine with it. That was it, no explanation.

Sam stared at him for a moment. "And where am I supposedly going?"

"I don't know, to find Eileen or maybe just to go somewhere and have the normal life you used to want."

"Dean, I told you Eileen and I were over and I'm good with that. As for the rest they only part you got right was the 'used to' part. I haven't wanted that in so long it's hard to remember ever feeling that way." Sam leaned forward and stared at Dean intently. "I'm not going anywhere so stop worrying."

"I don't want to hold you back from being happy or finding… I don't know, something more than this." Dean said as he held his hands up indicating the room around them.

"Look Dean there is something I've been thinking a lot about but it's not what you think. It's the opposite of what you're thinking." That made no sense to Dean and at his confused look Sam took a gulp of air and continued. "I've actually been thinking about us."

Dean was even more confused. "Us?" he asked.

"Yeah, us. As in you and me and what we mean to each other and where I think our relationship should go next."

Okay Dean was even more confused, what the fuck was Sam getting at? "I don't understand. We're good. Haven't had any major blowups in a long time and I THOUGHT we were getting along pretty good lately."

"Yes Dean, we have. Maybe too good. I don't know how to explain this." Sam took a long drink from the bottle in front of him and Dean could see his mind working through the problem in front of him like he always did. "You and me, we've been in this weird place for a long time. We're brothers and love each other but it's more than that and you know it. The things we've done for each other and the things we've been to each other. You know you're my best friend, right?" at Deans nod Sam continued. "You're my partner and my brother and my best friend and for a long time I never questioned it, never really thought more about it other than that. I would do anything for you."

"Hey, you know I feel the same right?" Dean hated talking about feelings and chick flick stuff but he could see from Sam's expression this was serious so he just sat and waited for his brother to get out whatever it was he was trying to say.

"I know you do but I think I want more."

Dean didn't think he could get more confused than he already was but it just kept coming. "What do you mean, we are more. You just explained it perfectly, you're my brother and my best friend. God, we're two middle aged men who still live together and spend all their time together, what more could you want?"

Sam cleared his throat. "I, uh, want us to be t-together. Like um, a couple." Sam's face was beet red and his voice kept catching.

Realization hit Dean like a hammer to the head. "Like together together? Like sex together?" He had almost yelled that last part and was now sitting way back in his chair away from his brother.

"Eventually I guess." At the look on Deans face Sam sighed. "Look I'm not asking you to jump into bed with me here. I just want you to think about some things, that's all."

"Where the hell is this coming from?" Dean had to ask because Sam had never shown any interest in having sex with him before, even now it wasn't like he was looking at him like that, more in a considering and thoughtful way.

"Actually, it started with Eileen. She asked me to go with her, to be her partner." Sam looked down at his down at his beer bottle, picking away at the label. "I kinda froze."

Looking back up at his brother Sam continued. "All I could think was that she was asking me to leave you behind and I couldn't do it. I didn't even have to think about it, I said no right away." Sam swallowed loudly. "She said she figured that was what I would say." Sam was again looking down. "She told me she cared about me and had hoped she was wrong but she could see she wasn't."

When Sam stopped talking for a minute Dean prodded him to continue, both not wanting to hear this and also needing to at the same time. "What um, what could she see?"

Sam looked up and blushed again. "She said I was in love with you." It was said so quietly it took a moment for it to actually sink in, but when it did Dean jumped back so fast he knocked his chair to the ground and had to take a moment to pick it up and plant his ass back in it.

"Look Sam, she misunderstood us, that's all, of course you love me, I love you too but we're brothers not… not…" he waved in Sam's direction.

"I know, I reacted pretty much the same way. It's been months and truthfully, I'm still trying to sort out all my own feelings but I do know that I want to at least try to have a relationship with you. That I want to be more than we are right now. "

"Sam, I just don't feel that way. I'm your big brother and I would do anything for you, but I just don't think I can do… that, with you." Dean had gotten to his feet again needing to put a little space between him and Sam and this crazy idea.

"As I already said, I'm not asking you to jump into bed with me. All I want is for you to think about what I've said. Think about our life together and all we already are together. That's it. That's all I'm asking right now."

Dean gave his brother a nod and hightailed it out of the room. He spent the next few days avoiding his crazy brother and determinedly not thinking about what Sam had said. His brother was just lonely, that's all. This would pass and things would go back to normal in no time.

As the weeks went by Dean settled down. Sam had not brought it up again and was acting completely normal again so Dean let down his guard and tried to just forget the whole thing. Of course, he should have known better, Sam was nothing if not determined when he set his mind to something.

It started small, little touches here and there, a hand on the shoulder here, a brush of the arm there and once when they were out to lunch he reached over and brushed an eyelash off Deans cheek, right there in front of everyone. Sam was also being a lot more attentive and would suggest things for them to do together instead of locking himself away with his books all the time.

At first Dean loved all the extra attention, and okay even the extra touching, but as things kept progressing Deans stomach twisted into knots of anxiety. There were hugs when he wasn't expecting them and Sam would rest his hand on the small of Deans back as they walked sometimes. Once in the grocery story Sam sent Dean to go find something in another isle and smacked him on the ass as he turned to go. Deans face had gone red and he bit back a retort as he hurried off.

It was two months after 'the talk' as Dean thought of it when Sam started trying to hold his hand. They would be walking beside each other then Sam would lace his fingers in with Deans and the older man would blush and stammer and try to pull his hand away. At first Sam let him but eventually he just hung on and Dean let it go (not wanting to make a scene in public he told himself, not because he liked it.) allowing his brother to hold his hand occasionally. It didn't take long and Dean found himself missing it when Sam didn't grab his hand, telling himself it was easier to keep track of the giant moose if he had a hold of his hand.

Another month passed and Dean was more comfortable with where they were, although he always made sure to have some sort of excuse if he returned any of Sam's touches or affections, and he made sure they NEVER talked about it.

They were at the farmers market one morning when Sam upped his game again. Dean had caught sight of a stand full of baked good with all kinds of pies sitting right out front and Sam laughed as he saw Deans eyes go big.

"Why don't you go pick a couple pies out and I'll go grab the veggies I want." Sam said with amusement in his voice. "Meet me over there when you're done, k?" he pointed to a tent further down the row.

Dean was just about to walk away when Sam leaned over and brushed his lips against Dean's cheek causing the older man to freeze in his tracks. Sam walked away as if it was nothing but Dean raised his hand to his cheek. His little brother had just kissed his cheek. His heart pounded for a few minutes but then he shook his head. People kissed each other on the cheek all the time, it was fine. He could handle that. Getting his wits about him Dean headed off to buy some pie.

When he caught up with Sam, who already had a large bag full of veggies and was now talking to an old farmer at yet another stand, Sam grabbed his hand and brought him in close to introduce him.

"Dean this is Jim, he owns that large dairy farm we pass on our way into town." Sam turned to the older man and indicated Dean. "This is my boyfriend Dean." He said this as if he had said it a thousand times but Dean was gobsmacked and unable to do anything but reach out and shake the old farmers hand trying not to let it quiver.

After Sam finished his discussion with the farmer they walked out of the market holding hands, as had become their custom, but Deans heart was still racing and his mind swirling. Sam had called him his boyfriend and his chest had tightened and his stomach clenched but there was also a bit of a thrill there that Dean refused to look at.

Over the next week they went on a simple hunt, a salt and burn, and Sam continued to introduce Dean as his boyfriend wherever they went. Finally, Dean had enough of that stupid word and confronted Sam while they were having breakfast in a diner.

The waitress had asked for their orders and Sam placed his first, then said his boyfriend would have the special with coffee, and Dean frowned at him. "Can't you find some other word to use than boyfriend. God it's like we're in high school again or something." He said grumpily.

Sam looked at him and smiled with those damn dimples popping out. "And what would you prefer if not boyfriend?" He asked trying to suppress a chuckle.

Dean just glared at him and said nothing so Sam got a thoughtful look in his eyes like he was considering it. "How about partner, would that make you happier?"

Relief swept through Dean. That was something he could live with since he often called Sam his partner when they were working. He knew Sam was meaning it in a life partner type way but it was so much better than boyfriend that Dean didn't really care. "Yeah, I'm fine with partner." He said calmly, trying not to show how okay he was with it.

That evening they stopped and got a motel room to spend the night since they were still too far away from the bunker to make it home. Not wanting to spend the evening in the room with Sam and this tension that seemed to be building between them Dean convinced him to go out to a bar and have a few drinks.

They were both having a pretty good time. They played a few games of darts with Sam actually beating Dean in the end and then Dean wiped the floor with Sam at pool. They were sitting in a booth having a last bottle of beer before heading out when a slow song started to play and Sam stood up holding his hand out towards Dean.

Shooting his brother an incredulous look Dean had to ask what he was doing.

"What does it look like, I'm asking you to dance moron." Sam replied with a roll of his eyes.

Dean grumbled a bit but stood up and followed his brother, shaking his head and asking himself why he was even doing this. He wasn't a dancer and only ever did it when he was pleasantly hammered, which at this moment he was not. Plus, there was the fact he had never danced with a dude before either.

Sam laced his fingers with Deans and raised their linked hands while his other hand slipped around his brother's shoulders. Dean found himself with his own arm around Sam's waist and was pulling him a little closer than he meant to. They started swaying to the music and a slow burn started in Deans gut. He found himself trapped by Sam's soft eyes and unable to look away.

Dean's chest felt tight with emotion and he was leaning up when Sam was suddenly knocked sideways by a big bald burly guy who muttered "faggots" as he stumbled away from them. Dean saw his brother catch himself and Dean helped him regain his balance but he saw red anyway.

Tearing his hands away from Sam he turned after the asshole and caught him in two strides, shoving him forward. Asshole turned towards Dean and shoved back. The fight didn't last long since even though the guy was big he was nowhere near as trained as Dean and was on the ground in about a minute. Dean went to drop down and finish the guy off but Sam caught his arm and told him it was enough.

Dean looked down at the asshole that was actually scooting away from whatever he saw still on Deans face but Sam still held his arm and Dean stayed where he was, just glaring. "Maybe you should watch your mouth next time." He called after the guy as he got to his feet and almost ran away.

"We need to get out of here Dean in case anyone called the cops." His brother whispered in his ear and Dean let Sam lead him out of the bar. Thankfully they made it back to the motel without incident and Dean found with his anger gone he was exhausted so he climbed into bed and turned his back on his brother hoping Sam wouldn't want to talk about either the fight or what almost happened in that bar.

Sam turned the lights off and settled into his own bed before he spoke. "Dean, you are going to have to learn to control your temper a little more. Unfortunately, there are a lot of small-minded people in this world and you're going to end up in jail if you try to beat sense into all of them."

Rolling onto his back and staring at the dark ceiling Dean sighed. "I know Sammy but fuck, he damn near knocked you over."

"Yeah, but I was fine. You know it takes a lot more than that to get me down."

Dean smiled into the dark. Yes, his sasquatch of a brother could take care of himself but that didn't mean it didn't piss Dean off to see him have to.

"The guy needed to be taught some manners." Dean said stubbornly and folded his arms across his chest. "Maybe next time he won't be so quick to do that to someone else."

"Or maybe it will make him even more bigoted and worse to the next guy."

Dean hadn't thought of that. He really hated people with such small minds, how do you reason with assholes like that anyway. He sighed loudly and heard his brother get up out of his bed. Sam pulled the corner of Deans covers up and slid into bed beside him causing Dean to stiffen.

"Ah, um, what are you doing Sam?" He squeaked out.

"Don't worry, just going to sleep. Now roll over and give me some room." Dean did as he was told mumbling about giant brothers who take up all the room. "And don't hog all the covers." Sam added.

"Me? Me hog the covers, you have that backwards little brother, you're the cover hog which is funny since you run at like a thousand degrees so I don't understand why you even need them all." Dean continued to mutter as he got himself settled and comfortable with his back pressed against Sam's.

"Dean, just shut up and go to sleep." Dean opened his mouth to respond then closed it deciding it wasn't worth the argument.

Dean thought he would be up for hours with the awkwardness of the situation but actually he was asleep minutes later and slept deeply for a change. He always did sleep better the closer Sam was to him.

Another week went by and somehow Sam ended up sleeping in Deans bed every night. The first night back in the bunker Dean had gone to bed early while Sam was working on the website and when he woke up the next morning Sam was in bed beside him. But his brother acted like they always did this and just got up and went for his morning run while Dean lay there and tried to figure out how to handle this.

As usual Dean decided to just try to ignore it and didn't bring it up to Sam, so the next night Sam didn't even wait till Dean was asleep. He just showed up in Deans room after he'd gotten into bed. Sam was already dressed in his sleep pants and an old worn tee and he just walked over to the left side of the bed and crawled in beside Dean like it was nothing. He rolled onto his side facing away from Dean, adjusting the covers, then said good night and went to sleep.

Dean tried to be put out at this new arrangement but he had to admit he slept so much better with his brother's warmth against his back. He tried to rationalize this to himself as it being like when they were kids and shared a bed more often than not, always more comfortable together than apart.

Another thing Dean noticed was more and more of his brother's things kept finding their way into his room. First Sam's hair brush and tooth brush, then some clothes, then some books. Sam added his own pillows to the bed and by the end of the week even the tv out of Sam's room was now in Deans since he didn't have one.

"Do you have to have all your crap in here?" He asked grumpily as he moved some books around on his desk while getting ready for bed the following week.

"It's easier." Sam replied calmly as he settled on his side of the small bed. Dean walked over and got in on his side hating how little space he had and muttered as he tried to get comfortable.

"You know Dean, maybe we should look at getting a bigger bed. I think we could fit a king in here. Might be tight but would be worth it."

"And how would we get one here, not like it would fit it baby's trunk."

"I was thinking we could rent one of those UHaul trucks. Maybe we could get a couple other things as well. We have the extra cards new-Charlie set up for us."

"Oh, and what else do you want to get princess?" Dean said in a mocking tone.

Sam just shrugged. "Well, a modern washing machine would be fucking nice instead of the 1950s monstrosity we have. And if you want maybe we could finally replace your big screen tv in the Dean Cave that we had to destroy." Dean perked up at that.

"Ok, I guess we could do that. You can pick out the washer but I'm picking out the tv, got it."

Sam chuckled. "Sure Dean, no problem. So, who picks out the bed?"

"I guess we should do that together, wouldn't want you to get some hard piece of crap. I need my memory foam you know."

"Okay, I have to admit this bed is more comfortable so I'm on board with the memory foam. When do you want to do this?"

"I guess we could go tomorrow. Don't have anything else planned and another night crammed in this bed with you and I might have to start pushing your sasquatch ass out of bed to get more room. Plus, if you elbow my back one more time I might smother you with your pillow." Dean grumbled while Sam just laughed at him.

The next day was spent finding a large enough furniture story that they had what the boys wanted in stock then bringing their load back to the bunker and installing the washer and dryer they bought, the massive tv Dean found (on sale) and putting together their new king-sized bed. Sam was right and they did manage to fit it in the room but it was a tight fit on each side.

"What are you looking at?" Sam asked as he caught Dean staring at the wall.

"I was wondering if it would be possible to knock out this wall and combine this room with the one on the other side so that we had a bigger bedroom."

"Sounds like a good idea but do you know how to do that?"

"Yeah, you know I've worked construction before and that's also what I did that year with Lisa." Dean said as he started knocking on the wall wondering what was behind it.

"Well don't do anything to bring the place down on us." Sam said with a smile and kissed Dean on the cheek before heading out to do some work in the library. Dean didn't even think about how natural it was starting to feel for his brother to do that, he just presented his cheek and let it happen before turning his attention back to the project he really wanted to think about.

When Dean climbed into bed later that night he was all excited to finally have more room and a huge comfy bed. He'd made sure to get a mattress even better than the one he had and thought he was going to go right to sleep but that's not what happened.

As Dean lay there in the dark he felt like he was all alone in his room again. The bed was big enough that he couldn't feel his brother beside him and it was so dark, with only a sliver of light from below the door, that he could only make out a dark lump on the other side of the bed. He could hear Sam's breathing and tried to concentrate on that for a while but he missed the heat and feel of his brother pressed against him. How can you miss something after such a short time?

Dean tossed around a little more but just couldn't seem to get comfortable so on his next flip he scooted a little closer to the middle until he wasn't quite touching Sam but could feel the other man's heat and presence right there.

Dean thought he'd been so smooth but Sam rolled closer and pulled him into his body so that Sam was wrapped almost completely around Dean.

Before Dean could process what had happened (and protest) Sam muttered for him to knock it off and go to sleep. Dean opened his mouth to respond and heard Sam's breathing evening out as he drifted off and Dean closed his mouth again. It did feel kind of nice like this. Deciding he would just stay like this for a bit so his brother could get into a good sleep before he rolled away Dean actually fell asleep.

When he woke up the next morning he was the one all wrapped around Sam. Their legs were intertwined and Dean had his arms and body wrapped around his brother who was on his back. Sam's scent filled Deans nose and his brothers warm skin felt so nice against him he couldn't help nuzzling his nose into Sam's neck a little more and drifting off again.

The next time he woke Sam was gone, presumably for his morning run, and Dean felt the loss of his presence. When that thought made him uncomfortable enough Dean pulled himself up from the bed and headed off to find some coffee. He was lost in thought and never heard Sam come back so when he headed off to have his shower Dean was shocked to see his very naked little brother before him.

Dean had seen Sam naked a few times and was well acquainted with most of his anatomy, having stitched it up or tending to some wound or another all over the kid, but this was different. This was seeing him in a new light. The miles of hard muscle and toned limbs, not to mention all that supple skin, right there in front of him had Deans mouth going dry and his cock taking notice.

There were times over the last months that Dean had felt the pull of desire towards his brother but he had been able to ignore it or write it off, not really look to deeply at it. But this time he couldn't. His heart was hammering, his skin was on fire, his dick was producing a very large tent in his sleep pants and he wanted nothing more than to walk over there and lick the water off the gorgeous man soaping up his chest.

Dean was rooted to the floor, unable to move, until Sam looked up and their eyes collided. Suddenly it was too much to even take a breath and Dean felt overwhelmed. When Sam slowly winked at him Dean finally broke the spell and practically flew out of the shower room.

Dean threw on some clothes as fast as possible and strode out of his room. He had no interest in having any kind of discussion about this (which Sammy might want to do) so he hightailed it up to the garage and lost himself in working on his baby. He needed not just the work to keep Sam away but also to keep his hands busy and his mind on something other than the scene in the shower. Baby needed her tires rotated and some general maintenance done plus Dean found a few other things that needed taken care of on her and managed to spend most of the day in the garage.

Sam had come to find him a couple of times but when Dean ignored him he'd left without comment. At lunch time Sam brought him a sandwich and a beer but had just set it down and retreated back inside, leaving Dean alone, probably knowing this is what his brother needed right now. Sam was usually pretty good at reading Dean so it wasn't really a surprise that Sam had given him the space he desperately needed.

Dinner was pretty quiet. Sam made a vegetable and chicken stir-fry that Dean actually didn't mind and had heated a few rolls for Dean knowing the stir-fry wouldn't be enough for his brother. Plus, they had a cherry pie in the fridge for dessert. Sam made a couple of comments about his work on the website and a call he'd gotten requesting some research information, and Dean revealed a couple of the things he'd done on the car but mostly they just ate in silence.

After Dinner Dean went to his room and grabbed his jacket passing Sam in the war room on his way out and telling him he was going out for a few drinks. The hurt look on Sam's face tore at Deans chest and he turned and stalked over to Sam, pulling him down for a quick kiss on the lips before turning and heading back up the stairs and around towards the garage and his baby.

Dean tried not to think about how soft his brother's lips had felt in the brief moment they'd been pressed up against Dean's or that this was the first time Dean had ever initiated an advancement in this crazy relationship they were now in. And he definitely didn't want to think about the look in his brother's eyes as Dean had closed in on his lips. The naked want that had been visible for that brief moment.

Two hours later Dean found himself pleasantly buzzed at the bar they regularly went to in Lebanon and a hot blond all pressed up against him. She'd slid into the seat next to Dean about twenty minutes before, and it had been comically easy to get her to ask him to join her in the parking lot. Dean got up from his stool and followed her out, taking her elbow and steering her towards the Impala in the back.

Dean had her pressed up against his baby moaning his name in minutes but he was having trouble getting into things himself. She just felt all wrong. She was too blond, her eyes too blue and she smelled wrong. He didn't like how far he had to lean down to kiss her and damn but she was way too soft, no hard muscle anywhere to dig his fingers into.

Pulling away with a curse he apologized but the woman was still quite pissed and threw a few nasty comments at him before storming off. Dean rubbed a hand over his face and got into the car. Fuck, what was he going to do? He couldn't go that far with Sam it was just too wrong but now he also didn't want anyone else. Was he doomed to his right hand for the rest of his fucking life?

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, he really liked the way things were with Sam and the way he felt these days and if giving up random hookups and well, sex in general, was the price to pay would that be so bad? He'd had more women and one nights stands than most men got in 5 lifetimes and he had already grown tired of it years ago. Dean now preferred to stay home with Sam, mom and Jack, more than hitting up the bars. But mom and Jack were both gone now and it was just him and Sammy, which had also been fine, his brother was better company than some stranger any day.

Deans buzz had worn off so he headed home, finding Sam still in the library working when he got there. His brother had looked relieved to see him and stood up to stand in the doorway to the library as Dean made his way down the stairs.

"you're home early." Dean could hear the question there in his brother's voice.

"Yeah, was bored so decided to just come home."

"I'm surprised you didn't go home with some girl, it's been a while for you."

Dean stopped in the doorway that led to the kitchen and the dormitories. Turning back he assessed his brother and decided to throw out a bit of truth.

"Was going to, had the chick all begging for it and everything. But I just wasn't into it so I sent her packing and headed home." Not wanting to actually discuss his little bombshell he turned his back on Sam and made his way to their room, changing and crawling into bed before his brother came in and joined him.

Dean positioned himself closer to the middle of the bed and was laying on his side when Sam got in. They both lay there for a few minutes in silence, then Sam grunted and rolled to his side while dragging Dean into his arms so that they were spooning.

Huffing out a breath, Dean pushed Sam's arms away. "Hey, I'm not the little spoon damnit!"

"Well, I'm bigger than you so it makes more sense."

"No, not happening." He harrumphed

"Fine have it your way." Sam said as he rolled over and Dean draped himself over his brothers back drawing him in against his chest. Yes, he could get used to this even if the moose was a giant and had to scoot down a little on the bed for this to work.

The next couple of weeks were pretty quiet. Dean helped Sam do some research for the hunter that had called asking for information, and Clare stopped in for a weapons upgrade and to steal a couple books from them before taking off with Patience and Alex.

During the night Dean didn't try to fight it anymore and would pull Sam into his arms as soon as he slipped into bed. In the back of his mind he knew this was considered cuddling but if Sam were to ever say it Dean would end up being an only child so Sam was careful not to bring it up. Dean honestly couldn't remember the last time he had consistently slept this well and he was pretty sure it was the same for Sam.

The other change was that Sam wasn't giving him pecks on the cheeks anymore. Now it was quick pecks on the lips. He would lean in when he would leave for his run in the morning, or if they were out and split up while running errands, or any other little excuse and brush his lips quickly over Deans just to pull back and head off to wherever he was going before Dean could even react.

As with everything else that had happened over these many months it soon just became routine and Dean stopped worrying about it. Lots of people gave quick kisses on the lips and it wasn't that big of a deal. In the back of his mind he knew he was lying to himself but he stubbornly refused to listen to that voice and buried it as deep as he could.

Dean really should have known the shit would hit the fan eventually but when it did he was honestly surprised. They were at the grocery store and had been arguing the whole time about something inconsequential. When they got in line to pay Sam remembered something he'd forgotten and left to go grab it. While he was gone the woman in line behind Dean had started up a conversation and flirted with him.

The woman was tall and slim with long dark hair and dark eyes and a killer rack. While Dean knew he wasn't actually looking to hook up with her it was just natural for him to flirt back. He enjoyed flirting, it was fun and made him feel good. As far as Dean was concerned it was harmless as long as he didn't intend for it to go anywhere. But when Sam got back his face was set in stone as he listened to the conversation and was obviously not happy.

Dean didn't really put it together at first, thinking Sam was still just mad over their small argument and thought his brother was taking it too far with the cold shoulder all the way back to the bunker. While they were putting the groceries away Dean made a few funny comments trying to lighten the mood but Sam just glared at him.

When Sam left and headed to the library Dean followed, fed up with his brother's attitude. "What the fuck is wrong with you Sammy?"

"It's Sam." His brother muttered as he stalked across the map room and up the stairs to the library with Dean right behind him.

Dean grabbed his arm and spun him around. "Seriously man, what the fuck?"

"Tell me Dean, did you get her number?" he bit out angrily.

"What?" Dean was actually confused for a moment then he remembered the brunette at the store and it hit him finally, Sam was jealous. Laughing probably wasn't the best course of action but he just couldn't help it and that seemed to piss Sam off even more.

Sam pushed Dean quite hard and since he wasn't expecting it Dean stumbled backwards. The only problem was the stairs were right behind him and he ended up on his ass in the map room and now angry himself. "What the fuck man. I was just talking with the woman. There was no need for you to go all caveman on my ass."

Sam came down to help his brother up since he hadn't actually meant for Dean to fall down the stairs but Dean slapped his hands away and got to his feet on his own, logging a few aches and pains but nothing serious.

"What the fuck did you think I was going to do, walk her out to the parking lot and fuck her in broad daylight or better yet just go at it there on the checkout counter?"

Sam's face lost its stony expression and he actually now looked a little wary as Dean stormed towards him, backing him up against the wall. "You really think that little of me?" Dean raged while Sam tried to stammer out an apology.

"I-I'm sorry Dean. I um, I just, it was…" Dean placed his hands on each shoulder and pinned his giant of a little brother hard against the wall then leaned his body full against Sam, letting his anger flow through him.

"Is this what you want? This what you've been after all this time Sammy?" Dean leaned in towards his brother's face. "Think you have some kind of claim on me because you decided you want this?" He asked then closed the last bit of distance and brought his lips down on Sam's, capturing them in a hard kiss.

Sam reacted immediately and opened his mouth letting Dean sweep his tongue in then meeting it with his own. Dean's fingers curled into his brother's skin, his dick shot to attention and the kiss turned even more intense. It was hot and passionate and the best fucking first kiss Dean had ever experienced.

Sam let out a series of moans as Dean moved to mouth along Sam's neck, sucking marks into the tender skin and sinking his teeth into the flesh on Sam's shoulder. They were both pulling at each other's clothes, trying to get their shirts off when their mouths met again with such want Dean thought he could cum just from this. Sam bit Deans bottom lip causing him to let out a deep moan of his own and he was just about to return the favour when Sam's cell phone rang in his pocket.

They both froze, trying to drag some air into their lungs as Sam drew his phone out of his pocket. "It's uh, Garth, I should probably take this." Sam said as Dean finally backed away from him. Dean didn't wait to hear what Garth wanted, instead he stalked down to his room and slammed the door behind him.

What the fuck had he been about to do? It was one thing to sleep beside his brother or let him refer to them as partners but it was quite another to fucking kiss like that and if that phone hadn't rung Dean knew there would have been a hell of a lot more than kissing. His dick was still throbbing with need and his skin burning from Sam's touch.

Grabbing his bag Dean tossed some clothes into it. He needed to think. He needed to be away from Sam for a bit. He wished their Bobby was still around so that Dean could talk to him. Yeah, Other Bobby was here but it wasn't the same. They didn't have the relationship that Dean had had with the man who had helped raise them and who had been there through some of the hardest times of Deans life.

Sam came in the room just as Dean was zipping his bag closed. "You're leaving?" there was a broken quality to his voice that Dean tried no to react to but he couldn't. Dean turned to face his brother, letting the panic of the last few minutes and the anger and passion of the ones before that fade.

"I just need some space. A few days to think." Dean reached out and grabbed Sam's hand giving it a squeeze. "I promise I'll be back, okay?"

"Yeah Dean. You do what um, what you need to do. Just um, I ah, I love you." The look in Sam's eyes was so tender and strong it almost brought Dean to his knees.

Dean smiled up into Sam's eyes. "Yeah, I know. Love you too, okay?"

Sam gave him a nod and squeezed his hand in reply before Dean let go and walked out of the room. Sam didn't follow.

For the rest of the day Dean just drove. At first he had no idea where he was going, he just wanted the open road and to let baby purr. He thought a lot about his life, about his relationship with Sam and all they had been through and about the way things had been lately. Late in the afternoon he finally realized where he wanted to go and pointed the car in the direction of South Dakota.

When Dean got too tired to drive he didn't bother with a room, choosing instead to grab the blanket out of the trunk and curl up in the backseat. It had been a while since he'd slept in the car and he forgot how cramped it was but it was also kinda nice. He remembered so many nights with both him and Sam sleeping in this car, from back when they were kids curled up in the back seat together to when they were grown men and Dean was in the front with Sam in the back. This car had been a home to him for a long time and with all this turmoil inside him sleeping inside his baby brought him a measure of peace.

It was late afternoon when Dean pulled up in front of the abandoned Singer Salvage yard. It had been many years since Bobby died and a little longer than that since the Leviathans had blown up the house, sending Bobby and the boys into hiding until after the monsters had been dealt with. Unfortunately, they'd lost Bobby before that happened and the yard had sat empty and abandoned ever since. Weeds and trees were growing up between the cars and everything had a long-neglected look to it.

Stopping in front of the burned down remains of the house Dean got out of the car and sat looking at what was left of the only other home the boys had as kids, especially after losing their dad. There were so many memories here, both good and bad. Mostly good. It made Dean sad to look around and know it was just sitting here. Legally Bobby wasn't dead so Dean guessed it was still in his name, maybe he should tell Other Bobby (as Dean though of the Bobby that came from the other world) about this place and see if he wanted it.

Getting back in the car Dean headed towards town and the one person he thought he might be able to talk to about how he was feeling. It was dark when Dean reached Jody's house and Dean pulled out his phone before heading in. Sam had texted him a couple of times and he took a moment to send a reply that he was okay and was in Sioux falls.

Jody was surprised to see him and ushered him inside asking if he wanted to join them for dinner, which of course he accepted. He loved Jody's home cooking and it was nice watching the girls argue around the table since they had gotten home the previous day from their hunt.

Clare went into great detail about the Rugaru they had tracked down and taken out just before it ate a teenage boy and Dean felt proud of the young woman sitting in front of him. She had come a long way over the last few years and a lot of that was due to Jody but maybe there was a small part that was because of him and Sam too.

Dean was quiet through dinner and Jody must have noticed because she sent all the girls off after dinner and pulled out a bottle of wine for the 'grown ups'.

"So, are you ready to tell me what's got you so down?" She asked after their second glass.

Dean sighed and looked down, not knowing how much to tell her, how much she would even want to hear.

"Hey there, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?" She asked him.

"Yeah, it's just… hard." He replied. "I'm not the… talking… kind of guy."

"I know but sometimes it actually helps, which I'm thinking you already know since you came here tonight. So, what is it, you and that brother of yours have another fight or something"

Dean looked up and her and sighed again. "Worse actually."

Concern flashed across her face. "He's okay, isn't he?"

"Yeah, yeah, he great actually, I'm the one who's not." Jody laid a hand over his and just waited for him to open up. "Sam want's, he wants… well it's…" Dean was having trouble even saying the words and his voice trailed off.

"Sam wants to um, be more, more than brothers." He finally got out with a pointed look in Jody's direction. When she just sat there he felt he needed to clarify further. "He wants us to have you know, sex." He almost whispered the last part not wanting anyone to overhear it.

"Oh, so….um, you're not already?" She asked genuinely surprised that they weren't.

"What?" Dean exclaimed loudly then a little quieter he continued, "you thought we were, we've been… together."

"Well yeah. I mean we all thought that. You guys don't exactly act like normal brothers."

Deans mouth fell open. "What do you mean by everyone?"

"Well Donna and I talked about it way back when we first became friends, okay we kinda got a little drunk and started wondering, you know, who was the top and who was the bottom. We both figured you were the, you know, the one in control."

Deans face was on fire and his mind was spinning. Jody and Donna not only thought he was sleeping with his brother but they had actually talked about it enough to think about that part of it. What the fucking hell?

"What ah, who um else thinks that?"

Jody looked at him guiltily. "Well, I did overhear the girls making a bet about it one time and I think Bobby might have wondered because he once asked me if he should take the twin beds out of your room and put in a queen. He decided to just leave it unless you asked."

Dean stood up and started pacing the room. "Bobby? Bobby thought Sam and I were having sex?" He stopped and faced Jody who was still sitting on the couch with a red face of her own. "Why? Doesn't everyone know that incest is majorly wrong?"

"Well normally, in like every other case I would agree with you but I don't know, you're both adults and no one is taking advantage of anyone here and you and Sam are just... different." Dean sat back down on the sofa and waited for her to continue.

"You guys are just so… in tune with each other. The way you move around each other and how you think and work in the same space together, it's… I don't know how to explain. When you two are in a room its like two halves of a whole coming together and sometimes when you look at each other its like no one else even exists. Then throw in the soul selling and all the other crazy shit you two have done for each other and it just seems… logical, I guess."

"And that doesn't disgust you, to think of us… like that?"

"Maybe it would if I didn't know you two but the way you love each other, the way you would do anything for each other, everyone wants someone to love them that way. Its… precious, rare, something worth fighting for, worth dying for. How could I possibly begrudge you that."

Dean picked his wine up off the coffee table and drained the last of it then stared into the empty glass.

"But you're a cop and it's like illegal."

"Dean, most of the shit you do is illegal. And didn't I read something in those books about you two being like soulmates or something?"

Dean gave a shrug. Ash had told them that during a trip to heaven but he had put that out of his mind since he hadn't known how to take it at the time. "I guess. I just, I don't want to hurt him or take advantage of him." Jody reached out for his hand again to reassure him.

"Sam is an adult, an adult that's been through a hell of a lot, I think if he told you that's what he wants then you can trust that it is what he really wants. How is that taking advantage of him in any way. Plus, I don't think you have it in you to hurt him like that. At least not anymore. You've been through too much that pulled you apart and hurt you both to let it happen over this. So, the real question isn't about what's best for Sam, since he already told you, i'ts about you. What do YOU want?"

"I don't know." He ground out.

"Yes, I think you do. I think you've always known but are just too afraid to have it." she said gently. "It really comes down to two questions, do you love Sam and are you attracted to him?"

Dean sank back into the cushions and let his head rest on the back of the sofa while she sat quietly beside him sipping her wine. He let everything that Jody was saying filter through his mind and in the end she was right, those were the two questions he needed to answer, and he did already know the answers.

Dean came to his feet and set his glass back on the coffee table. "Thank-you Jody, you really helped me sort this all out." He said and pulled her into a hug. When he let go and grabbed his jacket to leave she ran after him.

"Wait a minute, what are you going to do?"

Dean winked at her. "I think you already know the answer to that."

"Well wait, don't you need to grab some sleep before the long drive back, you have to be exhausted from the drive here?"

"I'll be fine. I can grab a nap when I need it in the car. Right now I feel a pretty strong need to get home. Next time we come we will be sure to stay and get a better visit in, k?"

"Well fine then. Give that brother a hug for me and Dean…" she waited till he turned to face her on the front step, "don't screw this up."

"I won't." He said with a grin before getting into the car and taking off for home. He didn't pull off until after midnight when he was about a third of the way home and only slept a couple of hours before getting back on the road.

The need to see Sam was riding him pretty hard and he managed to make it back to the bunker by lunch time the next day. Sam was in the kitchen, finishing up a grilled cheese by the look of it, when Dean walked in and dropped his bag on the floor. He stood there taking in his brother for a few long moments until Sam started to squirm in his seat.

"You're home."

"Yeah, I'm home Sammy." He said trying to put some meaning behind his words. Dean was so nervous he kind of felt like he might throw up and his heart was racing a mile a minute but he could only stand there like a fool staring at his beautiful brother.

Sam got up, obviously uncomfortable under Deans stare and put his plate into the sink. Dean came up behind him and slipped his arms around the taller man's waist and hugged him from behind.

"Whoa, okay." Sam said as he lifted his arms and managed to turn so that they were now face to face. Letting his hands fall around onto Deans back they stood there holding each other.

"So, I take it your trip helped?" He asked.

Dean pulled back a little but didn't let go of his brother. "Yeah, helped me see what was right there all along. I'm just too much of an idiot to see it."

Sam was looking down at him and Dean could see the hope on his face. He figured they could have some long talk where Dean bared his feelings or he could just act, so he leaned up and kissed Sam. He kissed him long and deep and tried to put as much love and passion into it as he could.

They kissed for long minutes until Sam pulled away. "Are you sure Dean, cause this isn't something we can just take back?"

Dean grabbed his hand and started walking him out of the room. "Oh I'm sure. Really sure. Really, really, sure." He said as they got to their bedroom. Pushing Sam inside Dean closed the door and leaned against it, letting his eyes roam up and down his brother's body while he licked his lips. "Damn Sammy, I think you wear entirely too many clothes."

Sam laughed and returned Deans look. "I could say the same thing about you."

"Maybe we should do something about that." Dean walked towards Sam while letting his jacket fall to the floor. Then Sam was pushing at his plaid while Dean undid the buttons on Sam's shirt and getting fed up he just ripped the shirt open. The buttons clattered to the floor and Dean gave his brother a wolfish grin when Sam rolled his eyes.

"Dean I liked that shirt..." Not giving Sam any more time to bitch Dean captured his lips in another soul searing kiss only breaking when he was ready to pull Sam's tee over his head and allow his to be pulled off as well.

Dean sucked in his breath as his fingers trailed over Sam's chest. Miles of warm brown skin, so soft over the hard plains of well-defined muscle made Deans mouth dry up. God his brother was gorgeous. Dean's fingers flicked at Sam's hardened nipple and there was a sharp intake of breath so he repeated the action.

Sam's hands came up and were now trailing over Dean's skin in much the same way. They were both just mapping each other's skin. Dean leaned up and brought his mouth down on the join of Sam's shoulder and neck, sucking a bruise into the skin while Sam threw his head back and moaned, clenching his fingers into the skin on Deans back. Dean followed this up by mouthing hot kisses and soft nips of teeth up along Sam's neck until he reached the sweet spot behind his ear. Dean paused here to lave at the area as he pulled Sam fully against him, needing to be as close as possible while Sam let out another satisfying moan.

Sam turned his head to bring their lips back together and swept his tongue into Deans mouth. The kiss was wet and ravenous as Dean slid one hand up into Sam's princess hair and gripped it tight, trying to pull him even closer and to get even deeper into his brother's mouth. When Sam bit Deans bottom lip he couldn't help the groan he let out so Dean retaliated by dragging his own teeth across Sam's lip. He let go of his brother's mouth to then drag his teeth across Sam's jaw then lick back across the raw skin. Sam bit down onto Dean's shoulder drawing more moans from the older brother's lips.

Sam pulled back a bit so that he could get his hands between them and started working Dean's jeans open then sliding them down over his sexy bow legs. As Dean tried to toe off his shoes he went to work on Sam's jeans, popping the button and slowly pulling down the zipper as he finally got his shoes off and stepped out of his pants. Sam already had his shoes off by the time Dean was pushing the jeans down the miles of his brother's long legs. Dean refocused on the last remaining piece of his brother's apparel, the blue boxer briefs that were already sporting a fair-sized wet spot in front.

Dean licked his lips as he took in the sight before him and had to smile as his brother turned a nice shade of red. Dean smiled his wolfish grin and reached out to run the tip of his finger up along the clothed outline of his brother's hard cock. The shaft jerked under his touch and Sam's breath hitched. "Dean…" he moaned as he reached out but Dean sidestepped his hands with a wink while he grabbed hold of the waistband of his own boxers and slowly lowered them. He could feel the heat in his brother's eyes and he stared intently at each inch of skin that was so slowly being exposed.

Dean heard his brothers loud swallow and saw him lick his dry lips as his eyes stayed fixed right were Dean wanted them. He knew the show he was putting on and could see the effect it was having on Sam, which made Dean's heart thump hard in his chest. By the time the boxers cleared his thighs and fell to the ground Sam was already kneeling and pushing his face into Dean's hip while Sam's fingers dug into the meat of Dean's ass cheeks.

Sam looked up at him with pleading eyes and Dean gave a slight nod not sure he could actually form any words right now. Dean had to close his eyes as his brother's lips sealed over his aching dick because the sight of those pink lips stretched over him was going to make him cum and Dean did not want this to be over yet. Winding his fingers into Sam's hair again he gripped it tight, likely causing pain but past the point of rational thought.

It was clear by his brother's hesitation that this was not something he'd done much, if ever, and that made the heat in Dean burn even more. "God Sammy, I don't know how much of this I can take, it's too good." He finally ground out between his teeth.

Sam responded by opening up and swallowing down half of Deans length. Dean's eyes popped open and a loud growl was ripped from his throat. Fuck that was amazing. Pulling Sam's hair to move his head back and off, Dean reached up to grip the base of his cock tightly to stop the orgasm that was trying to tear through him. "Sam, Sammy…" He was mumbling as he took a step back to get even more distance from his still kneeling brother.

Sam had the most amazed look on his face that turned into a huge grin as Dean stumbled back and fell onto the end of the bed. Sam finally stood back up and was now towering over Dean but it also put Dean's face level with Sam's huge cock that was now staring him in the face as Sam pulled down his own boxers. Sam leaned over and pulled his socks off and Dean took the hint and removed his own so that they were both now completely naked.

This should feel weird or wrong Dean thought. But it didn't. In fact, it felt more right than anything had in a really long time. Reaching out a hand Dean again traced a finger up his brother's shaft, but this time there was no cloth separating skin from skin and if felt like electricity shooting from his fingers inward.

Dean's hand closed around his brother's cock and he gave a couple of slow pumps while watching a few drops of liquid bead on the tip. Leaning in Dean licked the pre-cum with his tongue, marveling at the taste that was so much like his own but different. Dean had never touched another man's dick before so there was a strangeness but there was also so much want in him. The need to taste and feel and touch and give was overwhelming and before he even thought of what to do his mouth was closing around the tip and he was sucking and licking while his hand continued to slowly pump the base.

Sam's hands rested on his shoulders and the younger man was moaning Deans name. Opening his mouth, Dean slid his lips down over the shaft while running his tongue along the underside and moaned around it. The feel of Sam's cock heavy on his tongue felt so good. Dean had always been good with his mouth and enjoyed using it, weather it was kissing, pleasuring girls or even just eating, so having his brother inside his mouth like this was almost as good as when he was the one getting the blow job. Again, Dean found himself gripping the base of his dick to keep himself from falling over the cliff too soon.

'Oh god Dean, your fucking mouth… shit… so good" Sam was moaning above him and Dean tried not to smile with his mouth full of cock. He was so looking forward to just spending time exploring his brother's body but right now he wanted so much more for tonight and knew if he kept going like this they were both going to be done before getting where Dean planned to go.

Pulling his mouth off with a pop Dean sat back and looked up into Sammy's glazed eyes and mentally patted himself on the back for putting the fucked out look on his brother's face with his first ever blow job. Yep, definitely something he planned to fully explore, soon.

Dean scooted backwards on the bed and Sam crawled up to meet him. Sam stretched himself out on top of Dean and they both let out sounds of pleasure at the feeling of skin on skin as they lined up and seemed to fit together perfectly while their mouths crashed together in another toe-curling kiss.

Felling Sam's cock all lined up against his, Dean couldn't help giving his hips a thrust. The feel of his cock rubbing against Sam's stole his breath away. Fuck that felt way too good. So much better than he ever thought it could with another guy. Why hadn't he tried this sooner? Probably because Dean had never wanted anyone else like this, just Sam. His Sammy. Dean knew that was why this was as good as it was, it was all Sam. His brother was the other part of himself, the better part, his soulmate if Ash was to be believed.

Fuck his thoughts were getting way too sentimental, so Dean pulled them back to the task at hand, getting and giving as much pleasure as he possible could. With this in mind he gave another thrust up and shuddered at the deep guttural moan his little brother let out.

"Damn Sammy, want you so bad!" Dean ground out while continuing to thrust up against Sam's incredible heat.

"Want you too Dean. So bad." Sam managed to get out before going back to work on Deans neck with his tongue and his teeth. Who knew they both had such a thing for biting?

Dean moaned and dug his fingers into Sam's ass then started to rub the sting away from his nails. "How uh, how do you want to do this?" He asked a tiny bit unsure with his inexperience here.

"I want to fuck you but I also want you to fuck me. I just, I want it all I guess." Sam let out a little chuckle at this.

"Well, we will get around to all of it, promise, but what do you want right now?"

"I think I want, um, you inside me. Please Dean, need to feel you…. inside me." Sam's face was bright red and he wasn't quite meeting Deans eyes anymore.

Reaching up Dean grabbed Sam's chin and forced it up so that their eyes were locked again. "Sammy, look at me. Don't ever worry about what you say when we're like this. It's just you and me here and anything you want, I want. And anything you say I want to hear it. Anything. Got it?"

Sam nodded his head and leaned down to kiss Dean again. Dean used his brother's distraction to roll them over and settle himself between Sam's spread legs. "I was thinking about this the whole way back from Jody's, the way you would look all spread out like this, the way you would feel underneath me."

"Yeah?" Well, I've been thinking about it for months and months!" Sam exclaimed.

Dean laughed. "Well, you were always the smarter brother."

"And don't you forget it." Sam gave him a wink as Dean leaned over to reach into the bedside table and grab his bottle of lube.

Dean had been with a few women before who liked anal so he knew how to do this part so he set about opening his brother up with slicked up fingers. Sam tensed up at first but he admitted in a whisper that he'd done this to himself before so he wasn't shocked or put off by the initial burn each time Dean added another finger.

Dean continued to kiss Sam and lick his way over any skin his mouth could reach as he worked Sam open. Once Sam was moaning and fucking himself back onto Deans three fingers he figured his brother must be ready.

"Do you want me to grab a condom?" he asked. It was something Dean had always used no matter what but this was him and Sam and he knew they were both clean. Hell, it had been so long since either of them even hooked up with anyone it had been a while since they even had to do any tests.

"No, we're good. Just, please, hurry up." Sam writhed under him as Dean got into position and lined himself up.

Pushing into Sam's warm body was unlike anything else Dean had ever felt. The physical sensations alone were unfuckingbelievable. Sam's body hugged around his dick like they were perfectly made to fit together and the pleasure pumping through his body was unlike anything Dean had ever felt. But more than that was the way his heart and his mind were reacting.

Dean could feel his heart expanding and his chest was tight with the emotion he was suddenly overcome with. Whatever love he had always thought he felt for Sam was nothing compared to the intense flood of feeling pouring through his veins at this moment. All the affection and love he'd always felt but now this whole new feeling that was more powerful than anything Dean ever thought possible.

It wasn't just his heart and his body, but Dean felt like his mind was reaching out and connecting to his little brothers. Like they really were two halves finally being made whole again. Dean knew this is the moment that would define his life. From now on it would be Before and After this. Yes, he loved his brother, his friend, his partner Before but in the After it was so much more.

Dean was fully seated now and the stiffness was easing from Sam's body. He was relaxing into it and even starting to wiggle under Deans weight.

"Dean, please, you gotta, please man." Sam begged.

Dean leaned up and dropped a kiss on the tip of Sam's nose before he slowly pulled out a little and pushed back in. Sam moaned and it sounded more like pleasure than pain so Dean did it again but this time Sam thrust back to meet him causing them both to moan and groan. Letting go a little Dean pulled further out and Sam met him again when he pushed in. Sweat was beading on Deans skin as he tried to hold back and go slow but after a few more slow thrusts he started to speed up and found a rhythm that seemed to be working for them. The intensity built between them and the whole world fell away so that it was just Sam and just Dean in this moment. Nothing else mattered, nothing else existed, just the two of them and this thing building between them.

Slamming himself harder and harder into Sam's amazing body Dean knew he was so fucking close, so he took hold of Sam's bobbing dick and started to pump it in time with his frantic thrusts. Sam stiffened up and cried out as white jets of cum splashed up his chest and all over Dean's hand. Allowing himself to let go Dean sank into Sam as hard and deep as possible while his own orgasm ripped through him, tearing every cell in his body apart and reforming him into something new, something better, something whole for the first time.

Everything went dark as Dean felt himself flop down beside Sam with their arms still wrapped around each other and their hearts rapidly beating in sync.

Dean was nervous. Not about what was going to happen today, but he wanted everything to be perfect for Sammy and if he was honest with himself baring his soul in front of other people wasn't something he was looking forward to. Sure, he had become much more comfortable with telling Sam how he felt over the last 4 months but all their nearest and dearest were here today.

Looking around the clearing he could see Jody, Donna and the girls setting everything up. Claire and Alex were fighting over the configuration of the chairs (Clair wanted a complete circle but Alex wanted the more traditional rows) Jody was greeting everyone and giving them jobs while Donna was setting up a table full of covered dishes of food. Garth was rounding up his kids who were running wild in the trees surrounding the clearing while his wife laughed at his antics as the kids out maneuvered him. Even the toddlers. Of course, they were pure bread werewolves so they did have an advantage.

Jody was now talking to the newest guest to arrive. Other Charlie and Other Bobby from the alternate universe, who were bringing in boxes of alcohol. While Sam and Dean weren't as close with this Charlie and Bobby as they had been to the originals, they had both bonded enough to the AU refugees that they were now considered amongst the boys family.

Probably the most surprising guest had her arms wrapped around Sam at the moment. She was also the one who brought Deans ridiculously expensive (and somehow tailored) black suit as well as Sam's matching white one. How strange were their lives that they had the Queen of Hell herself as a close friend. Apparently, she was number 5 on Sam's speed dial and the second person he called to tell about todays little shindig. Dean had to shake his head at that.

The last months Dean had found out what true happiness was, not that their lives changed a whole lot. The boys still hunted monsters and tried to keep the world safe. They were still working on putting the bunkers library online to help other hunters across the world find reliable information, and their day to day lives hadn't changed a whole lot. Well except for the extraordinary and adventurous sex that he and Sam were now having on a very regular basis. Dean grinned at this thought. Who knew his little brother was so kinky and now that they had each other Sam's libido was suddenly in overdrive all the time. Not that Dean complained, no sir, that was the best part of his day thank you very much.

Other than the great sex though, Sam and Dean seemed more on the same page than ever before and the closeness and intimacy they found was beyond anything they had ever known. Sometimes Dean would swear he could feel it if his brother was upset about something even when they were nowhere near each other. Even if he could have nothing else this connection with Sammy would be the one thing he could never let go of.

Dean was so content with his life these days that he was even starting to think about retirement. In fact, he hadn't told Sam yet but he'd sold a few antiques from the bunker (and the now unused washing machine, which who knew there was a market for those things) and had managed to pull together enough money to purchase a very small cottage about 5 miles from the bunker that was backed onto a small lake.

The papers had been finalized last week, in his real name thanks to Jack wiping their criminal records from existence. Tonight, after the party, he planned to take Sam there and surprise him with the place. Maybe eventually they would move away but since they weren't retired yet he thought having a place close was the best choice. This way they could maybe start to separate work life from home life, for maybe the first time ever.

Taking another satisfied look around at the happy smiling faces of his chosen family Dean's chest tightened with emotion. The only thing missing would be his best man and that thought brought a wave of sadness with it.

"I'm happy for you." The words came from Deans right and startled him since he had been standing alone seconds before.

Dean swung around as his jaw dropped open and his eyes lit up. "Cass? How?"

The stoic angel smiled. "First thing Jack did was come and get me from the empty. He made a deal and put it back to sleep in exchange for me."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Dean asked, amazed and happy to see his friend.

"I've been helping Jack fix the mess chuck left. It has been a lot." Castiel said in his deadpan way that was just so… Cass. "Also, I wasn't sure if you would want to see me."

Dean grabbed the other man's shoulders and pulled him in for a hug. "Of course I want to see you, you dumbass. You're my friend, my brother, you always will be." Dean tightened his arms around the angel.

"Even after what I said?" He asked with his head tilted and his blue eyes shining.

Dean pulled back but kept his hands on the other man's shoulders. "Cass, I'm sorry I never got to say anything, you said what you said then the empty was there and you were gone and I never even got to process it. I need you to know I love you too, maybe not quite the way you… implied, since Sammy is it for me, but you were my chosen brother, my best friend besides Sam, and I will always have love for you in my heart."

"Thank-you Dean. That's all I needed. And I am happy for you and Sam. I always wondered why you two put up so many walls between you when you both loved each other so deeply. I am very glad that you found a way to take those walls down." Cass smiled and his eyes shined even more in the afternoon light. "I just want you and Sam to be happy and I can feel it radiating off you both."

"Are you here to stay?" Dean asked hopefully.

"No, I wanted to be here for you today since it's such a special day and to tell you that you both have heavens blessing. But Jack needs me and there is still so much work to do, we haven't even gotten to putting the universe in order yet. But do not worry, you will see me again."

They embraced again and this time Cass hugged back just as hard as Dean was hugging the angel. Dean had barely let go when Cass vanished. Looking up Dean closed his eyes. "Thank-you Cass and thank you Jack. We love and miss you both."

Feeling a warmth wash over him Dean opened his eyes and Sam was standing in front of him. "Was that?" he asked with emotion choking in his voice.

"Yeah Sammy, Cass is with Jack now. He wanted us to know how happy he is for us and apparently, we have heavens blessing."

Sam reached out and took Deans hand in his. "I'm glad. But it wouldn't matter even if we didn't because you and me, this, it's all that matters."

Dean swallowed the lump of emotion in his throat and gave his brother a nod and a hand squeeze. He would have leaned in for a kiss as well but Rowena chose that moment to call everyone to attention.

"Alright people i'ts time to get this show on the road." She announced then gave Sam and Dean a nudge (with her demon powers) towards the center of the small meadow.

Sam had chosen this place for their commitment ceremony because it was where they'd had their first official date. The date hadn't been anything fancy as they both thought some privacy would be good as they broke the ice so Dean had suggested a picnic. They packed up some food and snacks then headed out to the woods behind the bunker, finding a nice, secluded meadow in a clearing not too far in. The sun had been warm and everything around them seemed so fresh and clear. They'd spent the afternoon laughing and talking and doing a lot of reminiscing and secret sharing. Then when night fell Dean had spread Sam out on the blanket and worshiped his body under the stars, leading to one of the best evenings of Deans life.

Dean took the other man's hand and they walked over to take their places. Turning they took in the smiling faces of their nearest and dearest. Dean could feel the love surrounding them and couldn't understand why these people loved them so much that they were willing to accept all of this like it was somehow meant to be, not illegal and immoral.

Growing up the way they had Dean only ever had his dad and Sam so the fact that they had this chosen family that loved them no matter what still took his breath away sometimes. They had all been through a lot but somehow, they were here, together, and it meant the world to both him and Sam.

"Thank-you guys for coming today. I know you are all aware this is going to be a little different. Since we can't legally get married Sam found us a binding ritual that we are going to do, minus the magic thank you very much. No need to try and bind us any further magically or we might end up as one person." At that there were a few twitters and guffaws' amongst their friends. It was a pretty well-known fact just how co-dependent the boys were and add in the fact that they were supposedly soulmates and yea dropping the magic aspect seemed the wisest choice.

Sam shot him a look and took over. "What Dean is supposed to be saying is that we found this ceremony and thought it would be more meaningful to us and we are so glad you all came to celebrate today with us. You have no idea how much your support and love has meant to us, so thank you."

Everyone cheered when Sam finished speaking and a few people (looking at you Donna) even wiped away a few tears. Jody took that moment to bring over a small table with a few items on top that they would need. First Dean picked up one of the silver rings that had been engraved with protection symbols while taking Sam's left hand.

"Sammy, I've thought a lot about what I should say up here and I tried writing a big, long speech about how I feel but you know that's just not me. All I can say is I have loved you in some way for my entire life, I think even before you were born. That love has changed throughout the years and has grown but has never broken and I know it never will. You will always be my world." Blinking back a little moisture in his eyes Dean slid the ring onto Sam's finger while Sam tried to keep back a chuckle.

Sam picked up the other ring. "Well, that was a lot more than I thought you would say so thank you Dean." Sam's demeaner turned more serious as he continued. "Thank you for raising me and showing me what it is to love, what it is to be loved so deeply and completely. Weather it's as my brother, my friend, my partner or my everything you have always been my whole world. Even when I tried to run away from the life I thought Dad was forcing on me it never truly felt right because you weren't with me. At Stanford I went about my days and lived my life but it felt like a big part of me was missing. It took me too long to realize it was you and that I'm not whole without you beside me. You are my true north, the point from which everything in my life revolves and this thing with us got me through everything from my years in hell to losing my mind. You are my stone number one and always will be." Sam slipped the ring onto Deans finger and yes, they both had to wipe a few tears away after that.

Next Dean picked up a strip of white silk and wrapped it around their joined left hands. It was awkward tying the knot in the top but with both of them working together they got it done. This was part of the ritual to show them working together as one, with one purpose. Next Sam picked up the silver knife off the table and poked a tiny cut into one of Deans fingers on his right hand.

"Sam, I bind myself to thee, Mind, Heart, Body, and Soul. From this day forth we are as one for this life and the next." Dean brought his finger over their tied hands and squeezed out a drop, letting in fall onto the white silk. Next, he took the silver knife from Sam and repeated the process by pricking his finger for him.

"Dean, I bind myself to thee, Mind, Heart, Body and Soul. From this day forth we are as one for this life and the next." Sam moved his bloody finger and dropped his own blood onto the white silk.

Smiling they worked together to unwind their hands from the silk without actually undoing the knot. Once free they turned, each with a hand on the fabric and held it over a metal bowl on the table.

If they had wanted to do the spell part of the ritual they would have had blood, bone and ash in the bowl but since they were leaving that part out the bowl was empty. They both held the silk over the bowl and dropped it in. Then Dean picked up the lighter and lit two candles, taking one for himself and handing one to Sam.

Looking into each other's eyes they both chanted, "From blood to blood I am yours" as they held the candles over the bowl and lit the silk on fire, watching the fabric burn until only a little ash was left. They finished chanting and turned back towards each other. They were just about to lean in and seal it with a kiss when there was a soft glow beside them.

Blinking against the light Dean held his arm up trying to shade his eyes but he never let go of Sam with his other hand. Once the light faded Jack was standing there and there were definitely gasps from the audience.

"Jack" Sam said softly as he moved in for a hug. Dean also joined in with his arms wrapping both around Sam and the boy he would always think of as theirs even though he was kinda God now.

Jack hugged them back and then let them go when they both took a step back and grabbed hands again, needing the touch.

"Why are you here? Not that we're not happy to see you." Dean said.

"I thought I would bring you a little present." He said. "This is only for the evening but I thought you deserved something extraordinary to mark this occasion." With that he pointed behind the guests.

Turning Dean could see a bunch of new people and his heart skipped a beat when he saw who they were. There was mom and dad holding hands in the center, flanked by Bobby, Ellen, Joe, Ash, Rufus, Charlie, Adam, and most surprising, Crowley. (Fucking Crowley was grinning like a Cheshire cat and shot them a wink and an air kiss.)

There were just no words, Dean's chest was tight and he felt overwhelmed. Turning back to Jack all he could do was grab his shoulder and let Sam do the talking.

"Thank-you Jack, you have no idea how much this means to us. I can't believe this is even possible but I guess if anyone could or would do it, it would be you." Sam pulled him in for another hug and even with all these new changes in the powerful being before them Dean could still see the happy grin that was just so much the boy they had known.

Jack was still grinning his goofy smile when Sam finally let him go. "I need to go but I want you to know I will always remember everything you both did for me. I am who I am because of you and I still consider myself a Winchester."

Dean could hear all the sighs and sniffles from the people around them and he just had no idea how to express his thoughts or his gratitude but Jack gave him a look like he knew and they shared a knowing smile before Jack gave his little wave and was gone.

Dean was turning to look at Sam and then remembered that their dead family and friends hadn't known about him and Sam and his stomach tightened with the fear of rejection as he turned to face them again. But all he saw were smiling faces.

"Looks like it took you guys long enough." Ash shouted out and everyone laughed.

"About damn time." Charlie added.

"We were beginning to think it was never going to happen." Ellen laughed.

And of course, there was a "Didn't I tell you so squirrel?" from Crowley.

Most importantly though Dean could see the warm and proud smiles his parents and Bobby were wearing, and he knew everything was going to be all right. Whatever the rest of the world thought didn't matter, they had each other and the acceptance of the people they loved.

Jody took that moment to stand up and get everyone's attention. "I think it's time to finish the ceremony, don't you guys?" She shouted.

Dean and Sam traded glances not understanding until everyone started chanting "Kiss, kiss, kiss." Overcome yet again by emotion Dean turned towards the man he'd loved his whole life, and who he would love for eternity, pulling him in for a deep and meaningful kiss that was intended to tell Sam everything Dean was feeling.

Dean knew this moment would never be forgotten. This perfect moment was worth everything they had been through, including the years in hell, and whatever the future brought Dean knew this moment was what he would want his heaven to be. By Sam's enthusiastic response he was feeling the exact same way.

Neither of them even heard the cheering going on around them as they sank into each other's embrace.

fin