Reverse Reverie
Al leaves Sam in the bar in Cokeburg, promising to get him out, only to find a whole new world on the other side of The Imaging Chamber as a husband and father. And a new destiny to fulfill.
"Thou hast always been with me,
Though we have been always apart."
~Man of La Mancha
The Project Control Room
By the time Al returned to The Imaging Chamber, Sam had leaped. Where? Gooshie and Ziggy had no idea; it was like he had dropped off the Space-Time continuum… again. Al had only heard that phrase twice before. Once when Sam had leaped into his great-grandfather, and today, this very morning, when Gooshie had informed Al that not only had they lost track of Sam but that no one was in The Waiting Room.
Suddenly, Al felt a sharp pain in his head, like a headache but worse, followed by a dull ache in his chest. He swallowed hard.
"Admiral, are you alright? Do you want me to call the infirmary -" Gooshie was concerned.
Al shook his head. "I'm fine." He placed his white service hat on Ziggy's terminal.
"I was going to suggest we break for the night, anyway. Get some sleep. Start fresh in the morning."
Al looked hesitant, but he had been awake and on his feet for fourteen hours - conscious for almost twenty-four, having made the overnight journey from the latest Senate committee meeting in DC.
"We'll find him, Admiral. We'll start a nano-second search in the morning. Get some rest."
Calavicci Project Residence
Al made his way to his apartment in the PQL complex, using his hand implant to enter from the hallway. The room was pitch black, and he couldn't seem to find the light switch in the dark. He grumbled and tossed his handlink, along with his navy dress hat, on a table. Al unbuttoned the two top buttons of his uniform and stumbled into the bedroom.
Suddenly, the thought of Beth popped into Al's head. Why was he thinking of Beth? He felt that pain again in his head and chest, like a flood of emotion overwhelmed him, forcing him to pause inches from the door frame. The blinds were closed, but enough moonlight drifted in from the desert sky for Al to navigate toward his bed in the darkness.
Al saw a body in the bed and smirked. "Tina," he said suggestively to himself and unbuttoned the rest of his buttons. He sat on the bed facing out and kicked off his white shoes.
"You know, Tina, I think all I wanna do is sleep… If you can believe it…." he purred.
Suddenly, the lights turned on, and a familiar, more mature voice broke the silence, "Forgotten my name already, Admiral?"
Al spun around to see the face of his first wife, Beth, now almost sixty but looking more like fifty, sitting in his bed under the covers.
"BETH!" Al's eyes grew as large as saucers, and he fell backward off the bed.
Beth rose to her feet and ran to his side, concerned for his safety, "Al, did you hurt yourself…." She leaned down and ran her warm hands over the side of his face. "Did you hit your head?" She knelt down next to him.
Al started to cry as he sat up and rested his hand on Beth's face. "Is this real?"
He could touch her. He could feel her. It was, in fact, real.
"Al… what's wrong? You look like you've seen… " She got worried. "What happened with Sam?"
All of a sudden, Al started to feel that intense emotion again, only this time, it didn't ebb and flow like a wave - it lifted like a hurricane. Engulfing him. It was overwhelming, as twenty-five years of new memories flooded his mind - his and Beth's childrens' birth, their family triumphs, and tragedies; every change and nuisance hit him, every milestone they experienced… together.
"Oh god, Sam, what have you done…." His voice was a shaky rasp, upset yet grateful, shocked and guilty, in debt to Sam and cursing him all at the same time. Then, finally, Al let out a sob-like gasp.
"Al, you're scaring me?" Beth put her hand on his forehead and then tried to check his pulse.
Al took her wrist gently off his. "I'm fine…" he soothed her. "I'm fine." He smiled broadly and kissed her like a man who found water in a desert. Which technically was true.
He lifted from the kiss and breathed her in. "You still smell the same…" he said softly.
"You saw me an hour ago in The Control Room…." She looked him over, confused.
Al then kissed Beth so hard that she fell over with him.
"Al…." She laughed.
"You're still gorgeous…." He shook his head at her in the disbelief at seeing her again.
Beth looked as if she might blush, but it morphed more into an affectionate stare regarding how lucky she felt to have this man in her life for thirty-eight years.
"Oh god…" Al raised his head, his eyes widening.
"What?"
"I have to write it down…." He gulped and then lifted one eyebrow. "Stay right here, Honey. I'll be right back…." he said suggestively and rose to his feet. "I have to… eh, write it .. eh… all down before I forget… pen, pen… What time is it?"
"It's two a.m. Al, what happened after I left? Did something happen to Sam?"
"Is Janis asleep?" His eyes popped, and his mouth gapped open. "Janis…I have a daughter… I have four daughters…." He ran his hand over his face, looked up to the heavens, and shook his head, "hilarious." He squinted.
"Al… where's Sam?"
Al sat at a desk that appeared to be his desk… he had never had a desk in his bedroom before; in fact, his desk on the project floor hadn't been touched for years. He opened a drawer and found a leather-bound notebook with his monogram, a notebook he felt he had never seen before. A gift from Beth, Al told himself. He opened to the next free page he could find and began writing down as much of his old life as he could remember, as his brain slowly repopulated with new memories, as if a computer virus had attacked it from the inside. Or was it repopulated with new "old" memories? Sometimes it would act like a roulette wheel of images spinning and landing on important moments of his life like flashes, some filled with joy, others with pain. His heart hurt with the feeling of love and loss. Not only his daughters' births but their first steps, graduations, and birthdays, teaching his kids dance moves, how to pick a lock and fix a car - taking them flying behind Beth's back. His stomach felt sick as he remembered they had lost a child, a stillborn, a boy, and how they had cried in each other's arms that night. Any pauses as he wrote were to wipe the tears running down his face.
Ever since that Senator had changed in front of him, Al seemed to be able to see changes in his personal history. Like the day he left the chamber and found Donna in the research lab. He didn't know if it was because he was connected to Sam through their brainwaves or if being a time traveler by proxy had given him this ability. Donna didn't remember NOT marrying Sam, yet they all could remember the original history from a leap for at least an hour or two afterward. They were all still trying to figure out how it worked. Still, as far as he knew, this was the most significant change in memories any of them had been privy to "in" the moment. Over twenty years was longer than a few weeks or days. Al wasn't dying, yet half his new life flashed in front of his eyes and across his heart as if his life was ending. But then, technically, a life he had lived… was. It was challenging for him not to crack.
Then it dawned on Al, why was he writing it down? What did it matter? What if Sam changed something by accident and his time with Beth was fleeting? He tore a new page out of the notebook, turned it over, and wrote what was most important.
"Never forget Sam is the reason you have your family. He gave you everything you hold dear…he gave you Beth back. Sam did this"
Then he sealed it in an envelope with his name on it and hid it in the desk drawer.
Al was calm now. He walked over to Beth, who was now on the project phone line.
"Tina, can I speak with Gooshie…" but before Tina could answer, Al had taken the phone from Beth's hand and placed it on its cradle.
"Al?"
And then Al kissed Beth hard, and she kissed him back. Beth blushed like a schoolgirl, and it caught her breath.
"Al?" she said again, shocked but touched. "What's gotten into you?" She kissed him back again and ran her fingers through his hair.
And then Al gazed into Beth's eyes and stroked the side of her head. "If I ever forget to tell you this. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Elisabeth McKenna."
And Al made love to his wife.
Al and Beth's Bedroom - Later
Al couldn't sleep. He was in a state of utter worry and euphoria. He was worried about Sam, worried that this moment with Beth would end, and wondering when he would entirely lose his old memories - which were already beginning to fade. Would he become a different person? All while basking in the utter joy of being with his only love once again. And that wasn't even counting the survivor's guilt he was feeling.
Al suddenly had the urge to drink his pain away, much like he had the night Sam stepped into the accelerator. But then, his kids' faces flashed in front of him—a memory of Beth helping him dump out an entire liquor cabinet and attending AA meetings. Sam had helped Al stop drinking himself into oblivion in the first timeline, and in this new timeline, Sam had helped Al completely kick it. No doubt, due to the strength of his family. Of Beth and his children.
"You helped me believe in myself again," Al saw himself tell Sam one day. "You let me be a father to my children again, and for that, I owe you everything."
His marriage to Beth wasn't perfect, and it had its ups and downs, but they never stopped being in love, which was the bedrock that kept Al alive. But by the time Al met Sam, PTSD was ripping him apart. Al's mistake this time was hiding his pain from Beth, not wanting to hurt her and their children with his trauma. In both timelines, Sam had been the rock and ear that Al had needed. A friend in the aftermath of Vietnam, when all his friends were gone. Al, in a way, was Sam's rehearsal leap, and over the last five years, he watched Sam use the same empathy skills that had helped pull Al out to the depths. Al fell in love with Beth because she was the first to listen to him. The first woman he felt comfortable opening up to and bearing his soul. Lisa was his first love, but Beth was his first and only partner. But after Vietnam and three children, he thought he was being his family's protector by shielding them from his truth; he was instead destroying himself. So from then on, Al told Beth everything, and they were all the better for it. Not that Beth hadn't dealt with Al's nightmares and flashbacks, especially in the early days after his repatriation. In fact, the pain Al saw reflected in Beth's eyes only made him push his pain further into a bottle when the scars returned, causing his pain to fester under their weight.
In the present, he held Beth in his arms for what felt like the first time in thirty years, yet still with more and more familiar memories of their last twenty-five. He felt like he was living in two places at once, even though his old life's memories were fading farther and farther from view as each minute ticked away. He could, at the same time, remember missing her and also her being there with him. It was the strangest feeling, and it made him dizzy.
Al heard the handlink buzz, and it took him a moment to figure out he had left it in the living room. He kissed Beth on the head and reached for his white bathrobe.
Al and Beth's Living Room
This time, Al knew where all the lights were. He put a small lamp near the fireplace and picked up the handlink. It was nothing conclusive.
He then noticed a few framed photos of his family, of Al and Sam. The kids at Sam and Donna's wedding. He picked up a family portrait and looked at it with love but still with the mindset of a stranger. He saw Beth and himself in the girls. He saw his sister and father and, in his oldest, a little of his mother. A face he hadn't seen in years. He didn't even have a picture of her anymore, but he instantly knew his mother's smile. He held in his emotion and ran his hand over his face. How could all this be real?
"Trippy…" he said to himself. The whole thing felt like dropping acid in Berkeley. Had he still done that this go around? "Weird…"
Al picked up the picture of him and Sam and walked toward the window. How could he ever repay Sam? Would Al ever find him to do so? What made Sam change his mind to alter Al's past after he had asked him years before and Sam refused? Al had come to terms with that. Even after Sam had been able to save his own brother, even at Al's expense, he told himself Sam deserved it. And a life was more important than his heartbreak. He wondered if this was a way for Sam to say goodbye. To make sure Al wasn't alone. That thought was something Al couldn't bear to imagine.
"Pop?" A small voice took Al out of his head.
Al turned to see a child of about fourteen standing in the dark.
"Janis?" Al asked, a little unsure, but he knew. Al took a breath and ran his hand over his forehead. He was a father. "What are you doing up, Sweetie?" Al set the frame on the window sill behind him, and he walked toward her.
"I couldn't sleep…." Janis walked into the light of the living room.
"Join the club," he cocked one eye at her.
Janis walked over to her father, who kissed her on the head out of pure instinct but also because deep in his soul, he missed her. Could he miss a child he never knew he had until a few hours ago, or was that his new memories generating? The young teen looked frightened for some reason. And this concerned Al.
"Something's wrong with Sam, isn't it?" she queried.
"What makes you say that, Sweetheart?" Al looked down into her hazel eyes. Beth's eyes.
"Mom picked me up from school today. She only does that between leaps. Tina or Donna usually picks me up. But you weren't home, so that means Sam leaped - but why isn't Mom in the clinic - on call for The Waiting Room - "
"I wasn't home because I was… in DC…." Al scratched his inner ear, a usual sign he was lying.
Janis picked up her father's hand. "I know when you're in the building…." She smirked and tilted her head at her father, and even though she looked like Beth, Al recognized that expression as his own.
Al attempted not to laugh and gave her a sideways smile. "You're a smart kid… I assume you get that from me…." His grin grew significantly.
"I'm not a kid," she demanded - and Al once more saw himself in this little girl. Of course, he would have said the same thing at her age. But, of course, Al hoped and prayed she hadn't experienced the same pain he had by the time he was her age.
"No. I guess you're not" Al humored her, took a breath, and spoke with compassion. "I can't tell you, Honey - I'm sorry."
"You tell me lots of things I'm not supposed to know…."
"I do? I mean… I do. I do…I promise when we know more. I will. You hold me to that." He smiled and said something that shocked even Al. "Sam says… hi." His brain told him this was a lie Al told his kids to comfort them about Sam's safety and that he was thinking about them. Al didn't have the heart to inform his children that Sam couldn't remember them. But it wouldn't matter because Janis would find out the truth soon enough when it all fell apart.
"Can you drive me to school tomorrow?"
"I can't, Honey - I'm sorry. " He paused and listened to himself. "Even I think I sound like a broken record."
Al remembered that someone had to drive Janis because it wasn't as if a school bus or a carpool could come out to a secret government facility, even if Janis went to school with Army and Navy brats from the area bases.
When the project first started, Al had a house built nearby, but once his third oldest child went off to college and the time between leaps became shorter and shorter, Al had his family move to the project, or else he would never see them. The thought of having more than one child in college flabbergasted Al, but he also assumed he must have more of his money left without five ex-wifes and four alimony payments.
Al snapped his fingers as if something had just dawned on him, "Samantha used to drive you…."
"She's at college now, Pop." Janis folded her arms.
"Samantha," Al said to himself. "I must have named my daughter after Sam…" He paced. "Like all the others…." Al remembered how so many of the people Sam had saved named their new timeline children "Sam" or "Samantha."
"Pop, Sami was born before you met Sam. She's four years older than me."
"Yes, Sam delivered you -" He pointed at the girl as if he had just won a game of charades.
"In a hurricane. I know. You've told me the story like a million times," she responded with an annoyed glare.
Al suddenly had a flash of memory and turned away from his daughter. It was the night that Janis was conceived - they were listening to, of course, Janis Joplin. Giddy with Al's sobriety and the rejuvenation of their marriage and continued bond, Al did what he did best since returning home from Vietnam - he got Beth pregnant. At least, that was the joke they had between them. After all, Beth had spent over a decade giving birth, with an eleven-year age gap between their oldest and youngest child.
Although Janis' conception wasn't planned, and neither Beth nor Al had considered having a fourth child in their forties and fifties, respectively, they were overjoyed with the news. They told Sam it was all because of him; little did they know how prophetic that really was. Sam was Janis' godfather on paper, but to Al's other three children, Sam often was like a second father. Al got choked up just at the concept of knowing how vital his kids were to Sam. And that's all it was - a feeling - or an idea - as the actual memories hadn't caught up yet. The thought of Sam and Al's kids was also painful for Al to ponder, knowing his best friend wasn't home to experience the same memories with his own children.
Beth appeared from their bedroom, dressed in a robe, but she had heard about half of Al and Janis' conversation. "Janis, Honey, you have school tomorrow."
"Listen to your mother." Al gripped Janis' shoulders lovingly and faced her toward her bedroom.
Janis sighed, rolled her eyes, and left the room.
"She's about as stubborn as you sometimes," Beth lamented.
"And here I thought she got that from you…." Al angled his head at her impishly. And then he got serious. "She knows something's wrong." He shook his head with pride at how smart she was.
"She's highly intelligent and observant. How could she not." Beth looked into Al's eyes. "Al, what happened after I left The Control Room…."
Al took a breath and checked to be sure Janis wasn't around. "We found him."
"Where?" She was shocked.
"On his birthday. His actual birth date."
"And then…"
"He leaped…"
"He leaped…. Where? And as whom?"
"Wherever he's leaped, Sam's still himself."
"Because no one's in The Waiting Room?"
"We're starting a nano-second search in the morning, but it will take months, and by then, Sam will probably have leaped again."
"Why months? It didn't take you months to find him."
"I made a lucky guess." Al began to pace. He picked up the photo of Sam and himself from where he had left it on the window sill and looked at it with despair.
"Luck, Admiral Calavicci, had nothing to do with it." Beth approached him and touched him lovingly " The two of you are so close. It makes me envious." Beth stroked the side of his head. "You'll find him."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because that's what friends are for."
"Do you remember when you first met Sam, you said ...eh, you were sure you had met him before…."
"You had the same feeling..."
"No. I had a feeling - you were sure of it. That you had met him someplace before, but you couldn't place it…."
Beth nodded her head. "I thought we figured that out. It was when he leaped into you in '57. He must have left a part of him with you."
"Beth… when I was MIA - before I came home to you… What gave you the hope I was still alive?"
"I told you…."
"I don't remember…." He shook his head in pain. He was beginning to get how Sam must feel on leaps with his swiss-cheesed brain. Al's leap experience was a distant memory he couldn't remember anymore.
Beth put her hand on Al's forehead to check if he had a fever. "You're worrying me, Al. I think we should go downstairs and do a cat scan…."
"I'm not having a stroke….trust me."
Beth shook her head and walked away from him. "Then I'll bring it to you -"
Al had to stop her, "Beth, I'm going through timeline loss…." He had hoped not to tell her.
She turned back toward him. "Timeline memory loss doesn't take this long, and why would you be going through that? What did Sam change?" She sounded worried.
"Tell me why you waited for me, Beth…."
She swayed her head as if her emotion couldn't bear to vocalize the words. Al went to her and held her close.
"Beth, I know how hard those years were for you…but I need you to remember for me."'
"Not as hard as they were for you…." Just the thought of Al in those POW camps brought her to tears.
He shook his head and stroked her hair. "Don't do that to yourself…I know it was still hard for you. " He shook his head again. "Tell me what happen, Honey?"
"That man… he walked into the house. He startled me. Someone from the government, I think. "
"You think? What did he look like?" Al cocked his eye at her.
"Why can't I remember?" She struggled to find the memory of one of the most important moments of her life.
"Beth… what did he say…." Al urged her.
"He said he was a friend of yours…." Beth put her hand over her mouth as she gasped. She was finally catching up to where Al was taking this conversation. She broke from Al's embrace.
"What did he tell you, Beth…." Al walked close to his wife.
Beth tried to control the emotions running through her, "He said you were alive and that… that… you were coming home. That in a few months or a year, a photo would appear - the Time Magazine picture… The Lawson -"
"The Pulizer photograph…." Al nodded his head, remembering the leap to 1970, where the photo was taken, watching the light go out of Maggie Lawson's eyes as she saw Al as a hologram and recognized him from the photo she had just taken of him as a POW.
"You think that was Sam?"
"I do."
"Why would he…." She began to shake, and Al took hold of her arms to calm her.
"Look at me… look at me, Beth." She looked up at Al through tears. "I love you. I know you love me. And that's the only thing that matters right now. The ONLY thing."
"I'm going to be sick…." She broke away from Al but started to collapse, and he lifted her for support. "I left you…?"
"No. You didn't leave me. Okay? Listen to me. You thought I was dead. You had every right to believe that."
Beth controlled her tears and stared Al in the eye. "I met someone else, didn't I…"
Al lowered his head; he couldn't bare to tell her.
"Tell me, Al! Please…" She tried to catch his eyes.
He nodded his head, "yes."
"How can you bear to look at me…." She lowered her head.
"Because I understand you were lonely for so long, Beth, even while we were married. I thought we had all the time in the world… and we didn't. I was young and cocky and stupid . The war did that to us, Beth, not you ….I never blamed you."
"Did you find someone, Al? Please tell me you did…."
"None of them were you."
"Did you have children? Did I have children?"
"No," he said despondently.
Beth sat down on the couch and took a breath. It was hard for her to conceive of her life without her children - let alone Al. Beth gazed at her husband and spoke with concern for him. "What else… do you remember… about your life?"
"I can't remember much anymore. I know I was married more than four times, but no less than six…." He rubbed his forehead. " And that, get this… I was… eh… never mind…" He gestured with his hand.
"What? No. Tell me?"
"I, eh, was sleeping with… Tina." He raised his eyebrows at her. Why did he feel he was confessing to cheating on his wife in a timeline where they weren't married?
Beth laughed through her tears. "You wish, sailor!"
"Hey!" He looked at her. "I could get a Tina! And I got Tina. Many, many times, if I may say! What am I saying!?" He buried his head in her hands.
"Sure, stud…" she sneered at him lovingly. The laughing was making her feel a little better through it all.
"I love you." He looked at her adoringly.
"Same, flyboy," she responded warmly.
"I'm sorry, I told you. I shouldn't have told you," his voice dripped with regret.
"No, no. It's important. I'm glad you told me. I'm not sure I can ever forgive myself…."
"This isn't the "you" who did that, Beth." He sat down next to her. "There is nothing to forgive…." He kissed her hand. "I was able to come to terms with that in the last five years. Watching Sam help all those people. And I think Dr. Ruth?" That last part sounded absurd to Al.
"You both helped all those people…."
Al shook his head; no, it was hard for Al to believe he was a hero like Sam. "I wish I had stayed with Sam longer before I left him in '53…. "
"Did you ask him to do this? To tell me you were alive?"
"I did. Once. He wouldn't break the rules for me… then. And I guess I resigned myself to the fact that it wasn't meant to be. Or I don't know… Maybe I didn't deserve it." He took a painful breath. "But for me.. .that was over four years ago." He gestured with his right hand." I don't know what could have changed now." He let out a deep breath.
"Did he hint to you that he was going to do any of this…"
"No." Al shook his head. "He was pretty out of it when we found him… I didn't believe what he told me, but in the last few hours, I'm beginning to…." Al began to chuckle. "Oh, I didn't tell you - the bar - where I found him, it was called "Al's Place"…" he said with sheepish pride.
Beth laughed, "You always wanted a bar…."
His eyes lit up. "That's what I said…." He rubbed her hand. "He said that the bartender there was the one leaping him in time - that he was God, or time or fate…." Al stood and paced again.
"Or whatever…."
He faced Beth. "And why not? Anyone who has the power to leap Sam through time can be anyone he wants to be...a bartender, a train conductor...a steambath attendant."
Beth took a second to absorb what she was being told, then looked up at Al. "He'd know where Sam was."
"How do I ask him? As a hologram, he couldn't hear me."
"If he's God, I think he'll hear you."
"But without Sam in that bar, I can't get there."
"You could if you leaped," she said it as if she was surprised she was uttering it.
Al gazed at Beth. She had hit it on the head. And it was as if she knew he needed her permission. "I might not come back."
"You'll come back. Anyone who came back from Vietnam can come back from anywhere."
"Thirty-eight years, and you still amaze me."
Al took Beth into his arms and kissed her for what he thought would be the last time, and he left.
What neither of them knew was that Janis was listening to their entire conversation.
Project Quantum Leap - Twenty Hours Later
The last thing Al remembered was The Bartender pointing at him, and then he was back at the project, an oxygen mask on his face, groggy, hearing bits and pieces of sound - Beth screaming his name, the gurney wheels rolling down the project halls, the electricity of the electric panels crackling.
"Clear!" was the last thing Al heard before passing out.
Hours later, Al awoke, attached to wires, in a hospital robe, and lying in one of the clinic beds behind a privacy curtain.
"What happened?" he questioned, only sensing someone else in the room with him. He peered to his right and saw Beth rise to her feet, drop her book, and speed to his bedside. It reminded him of the first time he saw Beth in the Navy hospital in DC after he was repatriated. That same look of relief, love, and worry on her face. He then remembered that two months later, Beth and the staff had snuck his wife into his hospital bed, and nine months after his daughter Teresa was born. The memory made him smile. They named her after his sister.
"There you are…." Beth said sweetly. She took his hand and kissed him on the cheek.
Al could see her eyes were red, and she was putting on a brave face. It was then that Al noticed he no longer had memories of his old life, just a faint feeling, a gnawing pain within him. Yet, it still was something that took him by surprise. His brain wasn't being repopulated with memories anymore; he legitimately now remembered the life he had lived.
"What happened?" Al asked again in a faint whisper.
Beth stroked the side of his temple. "I was going to ask you the same thing…."
"The Bartender, he ah, he kicked me out…." Al groaned; he felt like his entire body hurt.
"Take it easy…." Beth smiled and brushed the hair out of Al's face. "Well, it's not the first time you've been kicked outta a bar…" she teased him.
"I have to go back…."Al attempted to sit up, but it was difficult.
"No, no, no…Al, you need to rest…" she soothed him.
"I need to find Sam…" he breathed out in a whisper.
"Al!" She put both her hands on his chest and struggled to push him down as gently as she could. "You're heart stopped," she cried out. "Whatever happened to you and whoever you saw, it stopped your heart," she said like a warning more than a worried wife.
"He told me I didn't belong there…." Al laid back down in shock. "That I wasn't needed…." Al looked off and shook his head.
"Rest. Just this once," she pleaded, with a tinge of ill will, as he never rested, and it would take Al more than one day to recover from this.
"Janis…" Al softly uttered his youngest daughter's name.
"She's in the other room with Donna," Beth grinned. "I'll go get her."
Al nodded his head, and Beth left the makeshift room and closed the curtain behind her.
"Admiral…" Gooshie's voice came hesitant behind the curtain. "May I enter?"
"Yeah…come in." Al groaned in pain.
Gooshie emerged from the curtain. "I wanted to be sure you were alright, Admiral?"
Al nodded his head. "I seem to be alive. And somewhat in one piece." He let out a deep breath. "I hope." He checked himself for a moment as if looking for his cigars.
Janis ran past Gooshie and hugged her father.
"Hey, Kiddo." He assured her, "I'm fine." He kissed her head and lovingly stroked her hair, something he hadn't done since she was small. Janis lifted from the hug, sat down on the bed with him, and held Al's hand.
Beth entered, looking at Al's test results. "It's amazing. No damage at all. Not to the heart or the brain."
"Gooshie, I want to try this again in the morning."
Gooshie nodded his head.
"No," Beth protested. "You need to rest."
"Two weeks, then. Gooshie, keep the nano-search open until then."
Gooshie nodded his head.
"This isn't a few broken ribs, Al." Beth referenced the last time Al had been hurt on the job, apprehending a serial killer who had escaped The Waiting Room.
"Yeah, well, maybe I should have been wearing a bulletproof vest this time, too." Al tried to joke through his pain, but Beth wasn't having it. He knew that face, and Al wasn't a fan of it. "Now I'm starting to wish I had been shot," he said flippantly to no one. Al wasn't happy about this conversation or the state of his health. "You were much nicer to me… when that happened." Al's attempt to lighten the mood was not working.
"You are not doing this again, Al. Did you not hear me? Your heart stopped," she gestured wildly as if to say, 'do you understand how serious this is.' "There can NOT be a next time," she was adamant.
"Can we have the room, please?" Al lowered his head and scratched his forehead.
Gooshie nodded his head. Janis didn't move.
"Come on, Janis," Gooshie put his hand out. "Why don't we go say hello to Ziggy…."
Janis looked at Al, and he nodded his head for her to go. Reluctantly she relented, and Gooshie and Janis exited.
Beth's eyes were piercing. "You are NOT attempting this again, and I think Sam would agree with me here."
"It was your idea for me to find him in the first place. May I remind you?"
"Not if it was going to kill you," she said breathlessly.
"You don't know that for sure. You said yourself there wasn't any damage -" He gestured toward her.
"How can you be sure the next time won't kill you, Al? And then what good are you to Sam? To anyone." Her exasperation turned to horror, and her eyes began to water.
"I won't give up on him, Beth!" Emotion filled Al's mind like a mack truck, and Beth darted to him and cradled his face in her hands.
" You will find him. I know you will. But Sam wouldn't want you to kill yourself doing it."There would become a time when Beth was no longer as optimistic as the years waned on, and it broke her husband to pieces. When the most brilliant people she knew, the smartest people of two generations failed - breaking their hearts in the process.
"Okay, Okay…"Al assured her, but he wasn't pleased about it.
"Thank you."
Beth then crawled into the bed with Al and rested her head on his chest, the same way she would often do in that DC hospital room back in 1973. He kissed the top of her head, and they held each other while Al seemed to ponder the situation and his next move.
Washington, DC - May 5, 2004
Al sat in front of a congressional committee for the fourth time in his life. All of which had been closed private committee meetings on behalf of Project Quantum Leap, and in all the times' Al had been in D.C. to defend the project's funds, or even when he had briefed The President in person, this was the first time Al truly felt like he was pledging for Sam's life. This time, of course, he had Beth there for moral support. She held his hand from the first row, behind the partition, until everyone was seated. They both were dressed in their naval whites.
"Admiral…" One of the members of Congress asked, "How long again has it been since you were in contact with Doctor Beckett?"
"Almost five years, Senator."
"And five years before that, you were in contact with Doctor Beckett… through time…."
"Yes..." How would he give Dick and Jane answers again without appearing flippant? "Physical contact, no -"
"As a hologram, yes, I've read the briefing booklets."
"And five years before that, you and Doctor Beckett were building this project…."
"Correct."
"So for fifteen years, the U.S. government has been spending millions of dollars on "Time Travel" with no success."
"I would disagree, Sir."
Another Senator interrupted by lifting her finger before speaking. "He has a point. What good is a time travel experiment that only works one way - if it works at all? Sending someone into time to never return sounds like a bad idea."
"Well, I did, Ma'am," Al pressed the "I." "... Traveled in time and came back. Twice actually. I accidentally traded places with Dr. Beckett in time, and I returned… and then when Dr. Beckett leaped into me in 1957, we leaped me right back… into myself. " He wasn't sure that made any sense.
"Congratulations, Admiral. Get back to me when it's as easy as hailing a cab,"
"Well, Senator, I hope it doesn't become that easy, or we're all in big trouble."
A third Senator continued. "Still, Admiral, as of this moment, Doctor Beckett, according to you, is lost in time. You've spent five years trying to retrieve him, let alone find him - I would say this experiment of yours is no longer or never was a success. After 9/11, we just have more important things to spend…." He checked his briefing book. "What is it now - 3.4 billion dollars a year…"
"I understand that, Senator, all too well, my daughter was deployed…." Al spoke with earnest sincerity.
"I'm sorry, Admiral, as an ex-POW, I didn't mean to suggest you didn't understand how important war is."
"Sir, with all due respect, I don't think war is important. I tried everything to sway my daughter from going to war, but children seldom listen to their parents." Al grinned, but it wasn't funny.
"No," The Chairman of the committee laughed, finally speaking. "They do not." He leaned back in his chair.
The first Senator spoke up again. "I know Senator McBride was a fan of your work, Admiral, but…."
"Doctor Calavicci, is that you?" One of the Senators who hadn't spoken yet asked. "I'm sorry to interrupt, Carl." She placed her hand on her colleague's arm.
"Yes." Beth stood. "Yes, Ma'am Speaker, Hello."
"It's lovely to see you again. But, may I ask, I understand you also work on the project?"
"I run the medical clinic, yes."
"And these," The Speaker checked her notes, "Leapees, you observed them and treated them?"
"Yes, when needed. We had a few hosts with heart issues, a woman in labor - some with mental issues that needed to be sedated. At no point did any of the hosts' medical issues or blood work match our records on file for Doctor Beckett."
The Speaker nodded her head. This sounded familiar to her. "Doctor Beckett's great-grandfather? The blood, I mean?"
"Yes. We did a blood work panel to confirm that. That wasn't - isn't something we normally did. Do. We tried as much as possible to avoid being invasive if we didn't need to…."
Al interrupted. "Doctor Beckett had leaped before his lifetime, and it was the only way to confirm how -"
"I do have a question about that." The Speaker looked at Al and then back at Beth.
"I'm sorry, " The older Charmain of the committee interjected. "I thought, Mrs. Calavacci…."
" Doctor Calavacci," Al corrected him.
"Well, that's my question. I thought the personal files I read said your wife was an officer of the Navy Nursing Corps."
Beth smirked and straightened her spine with pride. "Yes, I was, Senator, but I went back to school and got my medical degree in '79."
"From Harvard," Al interjected pointedly.
Beth couldn't help but smirk at Al's behavior.
Al felt the need to once again defend his wife. "She has a license to practice medicine in three states, Senator, including New Mexico. As ex-military with security clearance Doctor Beckett and myself felt she was the best person for the job."
The Chairman of the committee continued. "Seems to me, Admiral, there is a hell of a lot of nepotism around this project. You're wife, Doctor Beckett's wife - this…." He checked his notes. "Doctor Gushman's wife, Tina - "
"Doctor Christina Martinez is a highly regarded … and sought after Plus Communication technician, Senator."
"Seems to me you all have too much of a personal investment to do your jobs… proficiently ."
"Excuse me, Senator, but you are talking about women with code-one security clearances and award-winning and highly decorated experience over several high-level projects over the last twenty-five years -" Al was more than agitated.
"Thank you, Doctor Calavcci." The Speaker of the House smiled at Beth. " Your feedback has been most helpful.
Beth nodded her head and sat down.
The Speaker of the House turned to her colleague with an unwell look on her face, "Bob, if you're wasting the committee's time tearing down extremely accomplished women based on who they are married to, I would ask you to please enter the twenty-first century with the rest of us."
The Senator in question didn't respond but lifted his hand as if to say he was done speaking.
The Speaker of the House continued. "On to my question." She folded her hands in front of her and arched forward. " The paperwork you submitted, Admiral, states you made "precautions" so that Doctor Beckett would never leap beyond his lifetime again? I'd think leaping into the Civil War sounds … exciting…."
"Dangerous." Al leaned forward. "Doctor Beckett was shot with a musket ball. Without the proper modern medical help - well, innovations, he could have lost the arm or, worse, died. Not to mention leaping into a family member could jeopardize his or anyone's own existence. We were able to add safety precautions and protocols to stop that from ever happening again."
"I understand you tried to leap after Doctor Beckett, Admiral."
"I did." Al paused. "I was unsuccessful." Al felt like a failure.
"So. It doesn't work…." The Charmain of the committee declared.
"No, I believe I was kicked out…."
"So, the machine choices?" The first Senator inquired.
"No. I wouldn't say that…."
A new Senator spoke up. "Last time you spoke in front of this committee, twice, you said that God was controlling the leaps. So did "God" kick you out, Admiral.."
"That is the working theory between Doctor Beckett and myself…."
The Chairman of the committee had the final say. "I think that's all we need from today's session, Admiral. We'll render our decision tomorrow."
Al stood and spoke with passion. "Excuse me, Senators. Sam Beckett gave his genius to this country and to the world, and he has saved life after life after life. Sam Beckett is a hero to this country and to humanity - giving up on this project is leaving him back there. Alone."
The Chairman seemed to have a little empathy for Al. "Admiral. I understand your point of view. I understand you must be grieving for your friend. And Sam Beckett was…"
" Is …Doctor Sam Becket IS," Al demanded with absolute resolve.
"...a great man. But the U.S. government is not in the business of spending billions of dollars on finding one single person. No matter how 'great.' Thank you."
The gavel was hit to close the final session, and the committee began to disburse. The Senator's last line felt like a knife in Al's heart. He was once that single person missing in action. And now he was defenseless against saving Sam from the same fate.
Al made his way to Beth, and she knew his spirits weren't good by the look on his face.
She took his arm. "Why didn't you tell them…."
"That I talked to God? They're thrown me right in the looney bin. Everything ready for tomorrow if this goes south?"
Beth nodded her head. " Yes."
Al placed his dixie cup dress white hat on his head and secured it. And then Beth laced her arm through Al's, and they walked out together.
The Next Day - Washington, DC
Al took the news like the military man he was, but that also meant, like every great military man, he had a plan waiting for him back in New Mexico - all of which started with a single text from Beth, "Elk Ridge. Go."
Al and Beth went directly to a private airstrip where their second oldest daughter Georgia, an ex-Navy pilot, was waiting for them in a helicopter. She was to fly her parents back to New Mexico and stand by.
"She's a beauty," Al admired as he and Beth entered the chopper and secured their seats.
"Stop flirting with my copter, Pop," Georgia teased her father.
Al beamed and closed the door with a loud slide and click.
The Project - New Mexico
Al and Beth exited the helicopter, holding hands, but as soon as they entered the project's lower lever, they parted in different directions. Al toward The Control Room and Beth toward the clinic to shred/delete every leapees medical records and ensure their privacy from the U.S. government.
Al met Gooshie on he's way to The Control Room.
Al barked, "We have about two hours before they get here and seize the place…."
"We're still having trouble disabling Ziggy. She's just too big, Admiral."
"What about displacing the ego…." Al unbuttoned his Navy uniform as he knew he was about to get to work.
"She won't let go…." Gooshie said through greeted teeth.
"Sammy Jo?" Al asked as she flanked him and handed him a tablet to read.
"I think I might be able to trick her into a firewall breach - that would cause her to relay her ego to a secure location within the mainframe, and then I would sort of… lock her in - but it would take three hours or more to download her…."
"Do everything you can. Find Tina, have her help you. We can't let the U.S. government take control of Ziggy. Where's Doctor Eleese?"
Gooshie answered, "She's in the labs backing up the computers to a hard drive."
Sammy Jo lamented, "We should have started this months ago."
Al was livid. "And lose time finding Doctor Beckett - no, we needed those resources up and running at full capacity" He took a breath. They would have to compromise. "We knew Ziggy would be too big to move from the start. Get the ego."
Al handed Sammy Jo the tablet. She nodded her head and ran off.
Al suddenly remembered something. "Hold it, hold!" Al bellowed to Sammy Jo, who returned to his side. "What's the status of the Accelerator ?" He gestured and laid his hand on her arm.
Sammy Jo and Gooshie looked at each other.
"What?" Al had a bad feeling about what they were about to say.
Sammy Jo took a deep breath. "The problem isn't taking it apart…."
"The issue is finding an appropriate and safe way to contain it." Gooshie knew how disappointing this news was. "It wasn't constructed to be moved. We tried everything, Admiral."
"Understood. We leave it." Al gestured, took a breath, and tried not to marinate in his disappointment. "Alright. We move on. Focus on Ziggy."
Sammy Jo nodded her head and ran off.
Gooshie and Al entered The Control Room.
"You sure you know how to do this?" Gooshie gazed at The Imaging Chamber door like it was a white whale.
"I helped build this thing. I sure as hell can take it apart."
Outside The Project
Once The Imaging Chamber was dismantled, the team placed all its parts in Georgia's chopper.
"No, Ziggy?" Georgia inquired with disappointment.
Al shook his head no, and Georgia nodded hers. She knew how hard this was on her father. Al tapped the chopper's side and stepped back as he watched his life's work fly away to an undisclosed location.
"They're here in twenty minutes," Donna reminded Al.
Al nodded his head, and they headed back inside.
Outside The Project - Twenty Minutes Later
A series of unmarked cars descended on the compound. Janis Calavicci, now eighteen, sat on a large rock, acting as a lookout - equipped with sunglasses, a sun hat, and a set of binoculars. The first thing Janis saw, due to the hot desert air, was the kick-up of dust before she caught sight of the vehicle's caravan. Janis lowered her binoculars and, from her perch, whistled down to Donna and her older sister, Teri, who stood at the entrance.
Teri blocked the path of the men and a few women in suits as they exited their black cars.
"Excuse us, who is this?" one of the men almost growled to Donna.
"Our lawyer," Donna answered.
"Teresa Calavicci-Levy." She presented her business card. "I have been retained by the Beckett Family -"
"Aren't you an Environmental Lawyer!?" he retorted with disgust.
"Aren't you a horse's ass? " she answered firmly and with her father's flair.
"Hey, hey!" The man in charge stepped between them. "Can we be civil?" He looked Teri up and down. "I saw you argue at the Supreme Court. What are you, thirty?"
"Yes, actually." She smirked. "We are asking for an injunction -"
The first-suited agent spoke again. "This is a government facility with top secret files. Nothing here belongs to anyone. Not even Doctor Beckett's corpse if we find it in there…."
Donna could split, "How dare you!"
"Donna…" Teri put her arm out to stop Donna from doing anything foolish. "A government facility that houses government employees and their families, including Doctor Beckett and Doctor Eleese's six-year-old son. "
Another suit raised a question. "Wait, I thought this Beckett guy was lost in time for like ten years."
"Excuse us. The adults are talking." Teri changed the subject. "They have the right to collect their personal belongings before you ransack their years of work for spare parts."
Inside The Project
Back in The Control Room, Gooshie, Al, and Sammy Jo were waiting for the final remains of Ziggy's ego to load to a drive the size of Al himself.
"We're running out of time here, " Al barked and chomped on his cigar.
Al called Janis on his burner phone, "What's the story, morning glory?" He puffed on his cigar.
Outside The Project
Janis answered from her lookout. "They're still talking, but the body language makes me think not for long."
"Can you distract them?"
"Government personnel with guns? Thanks, oh, father of mine," she snapped sarcastically.
"I don't know…. fake a heart attack?" Al wasn't even sure if that was a joke.
"Says, my seventy-year-old father. Perhaps you would like to come up here and have that honor." She thought for a second, "How can I fake a seizure?"
"She's done!" yelled Sammy Jo, which Janis could hear on her end of the phone.
Janis sighed in relief and rolled her neck to let go of the stress.
Inside The Project
"GO, GO, GO!" Al howled as two marine guards wheeled the 100-pound drive down the hallway toward a back exit, followed by Sammy Jo and Gooshie.
With Ziggy's ego out of the system, Al was able to access files without sass or delay. He held his cigar in his mouth and used his clearance codes to delete specific sections of files, especially but not exclusively to changes regarding his and Sam's family. He would protect them at all costs. No one would know Sam was Sammy Jo Fuller's father or how Al's children weren't a part of the original timeline. There would be paper files sealed away somewhere collecting dust, but Al would worry about those at a later date.
The hallway door opened, and Tina ran into The Control Room. "They're here," she said, a bit unnerved.
Al nodded his head, and Tina ran back out into the hallway.
Al stuffed the handlink in his pocket and walked out the door.
NEW MEXICO - July 10th, 2004
The day they moved out, Al stood in front of the project. Beth and Janis had packed the U-Hail to take them to California. It felt the most like home to the Calaviccis, having started their young life there, and now that Janis was starting CalTech in the fall to major in astrophysics - it felt like the perfect place to return to.
Al fell to his knees and began sobbing. All the emotions of the last five years hit him. Beth ran to Al and took him in her arms to console him. Janis froze. She had never seen her father cry before. Not like that. It wasn't like he wasn't emotional - a great pasta sauce would water his eyes, but this was something else. It was all his pain and guilt coming to the surface.
It was an emotion her older sisters had witnessed in their youth before Sam had come into their lives. Janis, however, knew no time in her life without Sam Beckett in it. She had never seen her father so filled with anguish and regret. At least he had never shown her that side of him. She felt his pain. And yet she couldn't move.
Al stood and collected himself. He said goodbye to his life's work and walked toward the car. Beth stood next to the driver's side door, and Al caught sight of his daughter's eyes - the way she looked at him. And Al Calacacci did what he was best at - lightening the mood. His eyes twinkled, he raised his eyebrows, and then impishly grinned at his daughter to show her he was okay.
"Come on, Kiddo…" He nodded his head at her.
Al approached his youngest daughter, and she wrapped his arms around him in a long deep hug. The hug surprised Al because it had been a long time since any of his children had hugged him for so long and so deeply. It warmed his heart and brought a more haunted smile to his face. Al lifted up and put his hand on his daughter's cheek as tears fell for each of them.
"It's gonna be okay, Honey…" he promised her. "It's gonna be okay, trust me… alright?"
"Alright…" She nodded in agreement, even if she didn't believe it. Al wasn't sure he did either, but he had to.
Suddenly, they both heard the sound of a car coming toward them. This took Al's attention, being so far out in the middle of nowhere. He put his hand over his eyes to block the sun but still couldn't see who was in the car once it stopped. Then, the doors opened, and three beautiful brunette women stepped out - Al and Beth's remaining daughters.
Al, shocked, shook his head. "You knew about this?" he said playfully to Janis.
Janis smirked and shrugged her shoulders, feigning any knowledge.
Georgia took off her sunglasses and put out her arms. "You think we would let you say goodbye to this place alone? You have to be joking."
Teresa ran to her father first. "Pop!" she cried and wrapped her arms around him, and Al nearly did the same. He kissed her on the cheek as Samantha, his third oldest, squeezed next for her hug.
"You should be in class," Al scolded Sami, yet with a tinge of the joy he felt seeing her.
"Ahhhh, it's just internal biology - what could I miss." She kissed her father on the cheek and hugged him again."I mean, who needs a spleen, really?" She wiped a tear from under Al's eye.
"Why are you selling?" Al teased her in his best "dad joke" manner.
Teresa rolled her eyes and put her arm around Janis, who had joined her older sisters.
Seeing all his children together, being there for him, Al began to choke up. He attempted to speak and couldn't. Finally, he could only nod his head, place his hand over his heart, and tap it toward them. The girls began to tear up, and they all gave Al a huge hug.
Beth joined Al's side with a smile on her face. "They all - we all wanted to be here for you." She dried a tear from under her eye with her index finger
Al pulled Beth close with his right hand and nodded his head at her in thanks.
Beth glanced at Teresa, and the girls began to fidget excitedly.
Al saw it. "What?!" he said, feeling out of the loop.
Teresa took something from her pocket and focused on her father. "David and I ….were pregnant." Then, she got giddy, "I'm pregnant!"
Al's eyes almost bugged out of his head. "You're … pregnant?"
Teresa's sisters hooted and screamed. Teresa handed Al the ultrasound.
"As if I didn't feel old already, as it is…" he jokingly droned, but it was drenched in truth.
Beth playfully hit him."Your daughter tells you she's pregnant, and that's what you say?"
Janis joined in. "I mean, you're both kinda old to be my parents…." She shrugged comically.
Samantha burst into laughter, hit Janis in the side of her arm, and pointed at her parent's annoyed faces. "I did not say that. Let the record show I was NOT the one who said that." She cackled.
"Hey, hey, hey, not funny! Are we done roasting my rump, thank you?" Al then melted and rested his hand on Teresa's face. "Baby, I'm so happy for you." He nodded his head. "Do you know the sex?"
"I believe sex was involved, Pop," Teresa retorted with a deadpan wit.
Al lifted his hand off her face and shook his head at her. "Spare me…." He grunted. "Can we…not, please." Al shook his head. "I should have kicked that little twerp out when you brought him home in sixth grade. How did I know you were gonna marry him?" Al, of course, was semi-kidding - Teri's husband, David, was a good man.
"It's a boy, Pop," Teri relented sharply and tilted her head at him.
Al lit up, "No kidding!?" He peered at the scan closer. "Finally!" Al looked at the heavens.
"Gender is a construct, and I love you anyway." Teri took back the ultrasound.
The girls giggled. It seemed no matter what timeline Al resided in; his karmic debt was always filled with women.
"Pop's gonna be a Pop!" Georgia shouted
"Not yet!" He pointed at her. "Not yet! I still have…." He looked at Teresa.
"Five and a half months." Teri's eyes beamed.
"Oh, thank god," he took a comic breath for his children's amusement.
"Not long, old man," Georgia teased him.
"Watch it," Al jokingly pointed at his daughter, and then they smirked at each other.
"Pop…" Teresa turned serious. "As the oldest, I have been… chosen to speak for the group…." She fake coughed.
"Honestly, we have asked our lawyer to speak on our behalf…." Georgia teased her sister.
Samantha hit her sister in the arm, "Georgie, for Christ's sake, don't be such a nozzle."
Beth laughed. Al shook his head. These beautiful women with his genes, what had he and Beth unleashed onto the world? He just wished Sam was with him to witness it. Finally, the family Al didn't even realize he had longed for was here. After so much loss.
"Pop…" Teresa continued. "We wanted to be here for you today. We know how hard today is, and the last ten years - the last five years have been for you. And we just really…." She got emotional. "And we want you to know how you've been there for us, you fought for us, just like you fought for Sam and to come back to Mom, and we're gonna be here for you as much as we can, and we know it's still gonna be hard. You've done so much good in this world - you helped so many people." She nodded at him, and the girls nodded through their tears. "You're also a hero. Please never forget that."
"Mostly because your ours…." Samantha threw in as her voice broke.
"And we're always be fighting for you…." Janis spoke for herself and her sisters.
Al couldn't take it, and the emotion was too much. Beth hugged him from his left side and kissed his temple, and they all came in for a family hug.
"You did good, Pop, please don't forget that…." Sami whispered.
"We should probably, eh, get going before we all drown." Beth wiped tears from her face.
The sisters lifted from the hug and shook their heads in agreement.
"Why don't you lead, and we'll follow…." Teresa gestured toward the road ahead.
"Do you want me to drive?" Beth asked.
"No. No." Al shook his head. "I'd like to drive the way…."
Al watched the women he loved pile into two cars. Al wasn't sure if he wanted to take a final look, and as he hesitated, he saw Janis hadn't moved from her spot. Instead, she was still watching him. Her arms folded in toward herself like a teenager, her eyes moist.
He walked up to Janis and held his hand against her cheek as her tears flowed. Al wiped a tear off her face with his thumb and kept it there for a moment. Then, and without words, he was able to comfort her like he had done her entire life.
And Al remembered…
AL'S PLACE, 1953 - Cokesburg, PA (Five Years Previously)
Al, The Bartender, looked down at Al, the Admiral, with much concern. "Because you're the only one who doesn't belong here," he said, all-knowing.
"What about Sam?"
"He's not here anymore...he's on the job."
"Without me!" Al seemed pissed.
"I didn't think you were needed."
"You didn't think I was needed!" he said incredulously. "Who flew the X-2? Me! Who taught him Elvis' moves? Me! Who showed him how to box, shoot pool, draw a six-gun...kiss the girl!
"You," The Bartender said, amused by Al.
"Sam wouldn't have righted a single wrong if it wasn't for me." He dug his thumb into his chest.
"Well..."
"Okay. Maybe one or two, but he needs me. And more important...I need him."
"What about your family, Al. Don't they need you?
"This was Beth's idea. I would never have done this without her… approval." He seemed to be assuring himself more than stating a fact.
"Don't you think she knew that? That she knew you needed her permission to do what you already wanted to do anyway." He paused. "What about your daughters, Al? Don't they have a say in this?"
"They're grown. They don't need a father anymore."
"Janis isn't."
Al shot The Bartender a look. "I wouldn't even have my family if it weren't for Sam. I owe him. Big time." He looked away and down at his naval ring. "They'll understand."
"How old were you when your father passed, Al?"
Al got uncomfortable, "That's different." He paused. "I was already in the orphanage by then."
"You were about Janis's age, weren't you?"
All couldn't look The Bartender in the eye. "I don't remember… I suppose I was."
"Al, why didn't you go MIT in '55 - why did you have to wait twenty years?"
"I got a free ride from the government after I was repatriated."
"You would have gotten a free ride either way."
Al took a moment before speaking; it was a hard memory for him. "Because two years before… I found out my sister died…." Al answered as if he was confessing. "Trudy died…" The memory was still fresh.
"And…."
"My grades slipped," Al said, confused and ashamed.
"So, you took the two-year plan out of The Academy and started your service. Instead of the four-year-plan and a free ride at M.I.T."
"Yes." Al ran his hand over his face in distress.
"In the last five years, all of the leaps you observed." The Bartender paused to correct himself. "And helped with. What were the odds Ziggy would project how losing a parent - family member - would affect a child's future? You observed enough similar leaps to remember the odds?"
Al wouldn't answer.
The Bartender took a quarter off the punchboard and spun it on the bar in front of Al. "10%... 20% ... 38%... 39 % ..." The quarter wouldn't stop spinning. " 89%, 90%."
Al couldn't take it anymore. He slammed his hand on the coin, stopping its spinning, flattening it under his palm, then pointedly and with fire in his eyes, snarled, "Don't you dare gamble with my daughter's future?!"
"Then why are you ?"
The comment lingered in the air like the smoke from Al's cigar. They stared each other down. Finally, Al lifted his hand off the bar, and the quarter was gone. He felt a hole in his heart.
The Bartender continued, "When I said you didn't belong here, Al, I didn't mean you didn't belong anywhere. Your talents are needed… elsewhere ." He paused. "Al, what is the theory behind Project Quantum Leap? "
"If you're God, " Al said with venom.
" If …"
" If," Al mocked him. "...you're God, don't you already know the answer…"
"Humor me,"
Al grumbled but conceded. "If your life is like a piece of string -"
The Bartender laughed, "I think we both know that part isn't really built on the ground you and Sam think it." His eyes twinkled at Al.
"Oh!" Al snapped his fingers, and he filled with energy as if he was on the thread again. "Except genetically, yeah, Sam leaped before his lifetime when he leaped into his great-great…." Al counted and corrected himself, "Great-Grandfather."
"Yes. That is true. But cosmically, what was Sam's theory?
"Bargmann mass superselection rule states that coherent superpositions of pure states with different values of the mass are forbidden. Therefore to travel in time, one must replace that mass with a similar value."
"I appreciate the "Dick and Jane" definition for my benefit, as you might call it, but these are merely rhetorical questions, Al - you can answer them freely as yourself."
"I feel like I'm talking to my therapist here," Al lamented and squinted his right eye in The Bartender's direction.
"What is a bartender, if not a good therapist - a priest, a rabbi, an Iman, a Buddhist monk."
"All walk into a bar…." Al quipped.
"No one said I don't have a sense of humor…."
"Where's Sam? And how the hell did he know I had an uncle? I never even met my uncle. He died before I was born. I've only ever seen pictures - when I was a kid…." Al thought about the memory of his time with his mother.
"I work in mysterious ways," The Bartender seemed to mock himself.
"But Sam's alone out there."
"Sam is not "alone out there." Just as much as you aren't. I made sure of that."
Al's eyes bugged open.
"I didn't tell him to do anything. I just reminded him of what he owed you. Think of it as... a goodbye present."
"What if I don't want to say goodbye?"
"Goodbyes are a part of life, Al. Even you won't be around forever."
"I have been told my body is a medical miracle…." Al spoke with a playful yet cocky smile.
"You have things to do in the time you have left."
"The time I have left!?" Al didn't like the sound of that. "How long do I have left!?"
"You're sixty-five, Al. Did you really think you were going to live forever?"
"I was damn well gonna try." Al patted himself, looking for a cigar, and then remembered he didn't have any.
"People need you, Al. Other than Sam. You need to learn to share Sam with the world. And you need to put your value to more use where it is needed. But, If you really want to follow Sam… You have the free will to make that choice. Just like Sam did. If you must, all you have to want is to do it."
Suddenly, the entire bar filled with the sound of a medical flatline. The sound got louder and louder causing Al and the other bar patrons to cover their ears from the pain while The Bartender seemed unfazed.
"What is that?!" Al walled.
"It's what it always is, Al. It's your heart." The Bartender pointed to Al's chest, and then Al leaped home.
New Mexico, 2004
Al let the memory fade, and he looked into his daughter's eyes."You know you have a smile that's worth a million bucks ."
Janis smiled and swayed her head. "I'm not five, Pop. That line doesn't work on me anymore."
"Made ya smile, didn't it?" He playfully grinned at her and raised his eyebrows in her direction.
"I ever tell you how proud of you I am, Kid."
"All the time, Pop," she said like a child tired of hearing it, but still with an appreciation for the gesture.
"Good." He motioned for her to get in the car, and she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.
But then Janis whispered something in his ear unexpectedly, "I'm glad I get to be your daughter this "time" around."
Al looked at her with shock and fear. He never wanted Janis or any of his daughters to know they had not existed in the original timeline. He felt it was too much of a burden to put on them. Was Al just jumpy? Was she saying what he thought she was admitting? Did you really know?
But then Janis confirmed it. "I won't tell anyone I know. I promise." She took a depth breath and spoke with the earnestness of a newly eighteen-year-old girl. "I'm going to make something of the life you and Sam gave me. I promise you both, Pop." She then unknowingly echoed the last words Al had said to Sam. "No matter what it takes." And she got into the backseat of Al's red car.
Beth got out of the car and stood next to the passenger's side door, waiting for Al.
Al turned around and looked at the hunk of rock that had been his home for over a decade. That had been his and Sam's lifetimes of work. He still held a guilt within and a drive that would never leave him.
Then he got in his car, and they all left New Mexico forever.
"The melody haunts my reverie
And I am once again with you."
~ Stardust