ACT 1
SCENE 1: DUMPSTER
KURT HUMMEL, a fashionable sophomore is trying to head to class when he is stopped by a crowd of football players lead by NOAH 'PUCK' PUCKERMAN as they lift him up to throw him into the dumpster.
PUCK (smirking):
It's hammer time
KURT (pleading):
Please this is Marc Jacob's new collection
PUCK (annoyed):
Fine. Give it here.
KURT angrily shoves his bag towards PUCK and the FOOTBALL PLAYERS
KURT:
One day, you will all work for me.
PUCK and DAVID KAROFSKY toss KURT into the dumpster as the FOOTBALL PLAYERS laugh as they walk off.
KURT helps himself out of the dumpster as the tune of 'Not the Boy Next Door' begins to play.
SCENE 2: HALLWAY
KURT as he's performing start to enter the school walking down the hallway feeling more confident as the song goes on ready to take on the rest of his day as he walks off.
WILL SCHUESTER walks down the hallway in a determined fashion. After hearing the original Glee Club director SANDY RYERSON was fired. There was a new occupation and he was wanting to fill it. He soon arrives at PRINCIPAL FIGGINS office knocking on the door.
FIGGINS:
Come in
SCENE 3: FIGGINS' OFFICE
WILL enters the office
WILL:
Principal Figgins there is something I wanted to talk to you about.
FIGGINS:
What is it William?
WILL (enthusically):
I'd like to take over the Glee Club.
FIGGINS (in disbelief):
Do you want to captain the Titanic too?
WILL:
I really think that I could make this club great again, there's no joy in these kids. They feel invisible. It's why every single one of them has a Facebook page.
FIGGINS starts to use his calculator as WILL is speaking and comes up with an amount.
FIGGINS:
60 bucks a month.
WILL looks at him stunned.
FIGGINS (cont.):
That's what I need to keep this program up.
WILL (in disbelief):
And you expect me to pay it?
FIGGINS:
I'm certainly not going to pay for it. We're not talking about Cheerios here, Will. They were on Fox Sports Net last year.
WILL sighs knowing FIGGINS has a point
FIGGINS (cont.):
When Glee Club starts bringing that kind of prestige to the school again, you can have all the money you want. Until then, 60 bucks a month. And you've got to use the costumes and props you already have. But we need the stools for wood shop.
WILL sighs knowing it's going to be an uphill battle as he leaves FIGGINS' OFFICE
SCENE 4: HALLWAY
WILL puts up the sign up sheet as he walks away from the board MERCEDES JONES walks over and looks around her before signing up. A few seconds later KURT follows MERCEDES' lead looking around him before signing up. TINA COHEN-CHANG approaches the board timidly with her best friend ARTIE ABRAMS who rolls behind her in his wheelchair. The two exit together as RACHEL BERRY walks up to the board with stars in her eyes. This is the opportunity she had been waiting for to showcase her talents. She signs her name before adding her signature gold star after it, beaming at the board.
RACHEL (addressing the audience):
You might laugh because every time I sign my name, I put a gold star after it. But it's a metaphor and metaphors are important. My gold stars are a metaphor for me being a star.
As she turns to walk away is promptly slushied by PUCK. RACHEL tears up.
RACHEL (assuring herself confidently):
It's not going to be that way forever once I get my Tony they will regret this.
As she gives herself this much needed pep talk the tune of 'On My Own' from Les Mis Begins to play as RACHEL sings it passionately.
As RACHEL performs she walks down the hallway heading to the auditorium. She looks towards FINN HUDSON, the school's star quarterback who is walking down the hallway with his gorgeous cheerleader girlfriend QUINN FABRAY, RACHEL is longing to be with him but as the song says she is on her own.
SCENE 5: AUDITIORIUM
RACHEL arrives is now performing for an amazed WILL as the song comes to a close WILL speaks into his microphone.
WILL:
Very nice.
RACHEL (enthusiastically):
So when do we start rehearsals?
WILL:
How about after school today?
RACHEL nods vigorously excited for the start of Glee Club.
SCENE 6: CHOIR ROOM
ARTIE starts to sing the lead of 'Sit Down You're Rocking the Boat' from Guys and Dolls as the other New Directions sing background for him. The group's performance together is barely passable and WILL can't help but cringe. They finish in a pose.
RACHEL (matter of factly):
We suck.
WILL (trying to be encouraging):
Uh, it… It'll get there. We-we just need to keep rehearsing.
RACHEL (annoyed):
Mr. Schuester, do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to give the lead solo in "Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat" to a boy in a wheelchair?
ARTIE (trying to be helpful):
I think Mr. Schue is using irony to enhance the performance.
RACHEL (annoyed):
There is nothing ironic about show choir!
RACHEL storms out of the choir room in a huff
WILL (calling after her):
Rachel! Rachel!
WILL sighs knowing his calls are to no avail as he decides to go after RACHEL leaving KURT, MERCEDES, TINA, and ARTIE behind.
SCENE 7: FOOTBALL FIELD
The CHEERIOS are on the football field practicing as RACHEL watches them from the bleachers as COACH SUE SYLVESTER is yelling at them through her megaphone.
SUE:
That's sloppy! You're sloppy babies! It's just disgraceful! And I want the agony out of your eyes!
LANCE, a male cheerio starts to tear up.
SUE (cont.):
Uh-uh, Lance, don't you start crying! You are the weak link, pal! How's it feel to be the weak link, huh?! That can't feel very good!
WILL approaches RACHEL on the bleachers and sits beside her
WILL:
You changed out of your costume.
RACHEL (solemnly):
I'm tired of being laughed at.
WILL:
You're the best kid in there, Rachel. That comes with a price.
RACHEL:
Look, I know I'm just a sophomore, but I can feel the clock ticking away, and I don't want to leave high school with nothing to show for it.
WILL (confused):
You get great grades. You're a fantastic singer.
RACHEL (solemnly):
Everybody hates me.
WILL:
And you think Glee Club is going to change that?
RACHEL (with a passion):
Being great at something is going to change it. Being a part of something special makes you special, right?
WILL can feel her passion as RACHEL changes the subject back to what's bothering her.
RACHEL (seriously):
I need a male lead who can keep up with me vocally.
WILL:
Maybe I can coach Artie a little.
RACHEL:
Look, Mr. Schue, I really appreciate what you're trying to do, but if you can't give me what I need, then I'm sorry. I'm not going to make a fool out of myself. I can't keep wasting my time with Glee. It hurts too much.
RACHEL walks away solemn as WILL ponders his next move he needed to find a strong male lead but where would he find one?
SCENE 8: FOOTBALL LOCKER ROOM
WILL is putting up sign up sheets for the glee club when he hears something that catches his attention the faint sounds of 'Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore' by REO SPEED WAGON. He walks towards the voice to hear the star quarterback FINN, singing it in the shower. WILL looks at him amazed. He's a fantastic singer, not to mention popular could this be the answer WILL was looking for? But the question was how to get FINN to join.
WILL walks off leaving. FINN singing confidently thinking no one's watching as he drapes a towel around himself walking off as he finishes.
SCENE 9: WILL'S OFFICE
WILL is sitting in his office with FINN holding up a package labeled 'The Chronic Lady'.
WILL:
Would you like to tell me how long you've had a drug problem?
FINN's eyes widen
FINN:
I don't even know who the Chronic Lady is.
WILL:
Look, if it were up to me, we wouldn't have mandatory bi-weekly afternoon locker checks.
FINN (nervously):
But I've never seen that before, Mr. Schue, I swear. It's not mine. I'll pee in a cup.
WILL looks stunned
FINN (assuringly):
I'll pee.
WILL:
Look, it… it wouldn't make any difference. Possession is eight-tenths of the law. I'm pretty sure that much pot is a felony. Yeah. Look, you'll get kicked out of school. You'll lose your football scholarship.
FINN (somewhat excitedly):
Wait… I had a football scholarship? To… to where?
WILL (seriously):
You could land in prison, son.
FINN looks horrified as WILL changes his tone.
WILL:
We have two options here. I'm running detention now, so you can do six weeks after school, but that's gonna remain on your permanent record.
FINN looks upset, he doesn't want that.
FINN:
What's the other option Mr. Schue?
WILL'S eye light up, hoping FINN would ask this.
WILL:
You will become a part of the New Directions McKinley High's Glee Club.
FINN ponders his choice, glee club doesn't sound so bad, especially since he likes to sing.
FINN:
I'll join the glee club.
WILL (smiles):
Excellent
WILL and FINN shake hands as they part ways both getting something they wanted.
SCENE 10: AUDITIORIUM
The NEW DIRECTIONS are at their second rehearsal with their newest edition, FINN as the piano chords to 'You're the One that I Want' from Grease begin to play as FINN starts to sing the male lead. This quickly catches RACHEL's attention. She always had a major crush on FINN but never knew he could sing so well.
RACHEL soon chimes in passionately as she makes her way over to FINN performing in her usual over enthusiastic style which seems to scare FINN but the performances is soon interrupted by MERCEDES.
MERCEDES:
Oh hell to the no!
Everyone stops performing due to MERCEDES' outburst.
MERCEDES (sassily):
Look, I'm not down with this background singing nonsense. I'm Beyonce. I ain't no Kelly Rowland.
WILL:
Okay, look Mercedes, it's just one song.
KURT (honestly):
And it's the first one that we've been kind of good.
MERCEDES (shoots at FINN):
Okay, you're good, white boy. I'll give you that. But you better bring it.
FINN looks nervous, slightly afraid of MERCEDES
WILL:
Alright let's do it. From the top.
The NEW DIRECTIONS get back in place preparing to perform again.
The stage goes black as everyone leaves the stage to change. The faint sounds of the GLEE CAST VERSION of 'DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'' beings to play as a spotlight hits each NEW DIRECTIONS member as they turn around as followed: ARTIE, KURT, MERCEDES, TINA, FINN, and finally RACHEL as the club begins to sing. There is a desk on the side where WILL is watching their performance grooving along to it. SUE, QUINN, SANTANA LOPEZ, and BRITTANY S. PIERCE are also watching from the balcony as QUINN looks livid seeing FINN performing especially with RACHEL. PUCK also watches from the back of the auditorium. WILL soon applauds them as they finish the song as they look up from their bows.
WILL:
Good, guys. It's a nine. We need a ten. Rachel, you need to hit the ones and the fives. Finn, I think if we worked on it, you could hit a high "B."
FINN nods proud of his performance as the NEW DIRECTIONS hug finally coming together.
WILL:
Alright, from the top!
The stage goes black as everyone leaves the stage to change
SCENE 11 - HALLWAY
FINN is at his locker as his girlfriend, QUINN is confronting him as RACHEL is listening intently.
QUINN (muttering annoyed):
We are in line to be the most popular kids in the school over the next couple years.
FINN:
Yeah I know.
QUINN (still muttering annoyed):
Prom king and queen. Homecoming court royalty. I am not giving up those shiny crowns just so you can express yourself.
FINN:
Look, you're making too big a deal about this.
QUINN gets an idea
QUINN:
Okay. Let's compromise. If you quit the club, I'll let you touch my breast.
FINN (in a hopeful tone):
Under the shirt?
QUINN (annoyed):
Over the bra.
FINN ponders conflicted
FINN:
No. No I can't.
QUINN scoffs
FINN (cont.):
I want to do Glee. I'm really happy when I'm performing.
QUINN (annoyed going back to muttering):
People think you're gay now, Finn. And you know what that makes me? Your big gay beard.
FINN:
Look. I- I gotta go to class. Okay? Just relax. Everything's gonna work out.
FINN closes his locker and exits as QUINN's eyes focus on RACHEL who has been listening intently
QUINN:
Eavesdrop much?
QUINN slams her locker shut making her way over to RACHEL
QUINN (cont.):
Time for some girl talk, man hands. You can dance with him. You can sing with him. But you will never have him.
RACHEL (nonchalantly):
I understand why you'd be threatened. Finn and I have made a connection.
QUINN shakes her head is RACHEL serious?
RACHEL (cont.)
But I'm an honorable person. I don't need to steal your man. I have plenty of suitors of my own. Every day Glee's status is going up, and yours is going down. Deal with it.
RACHEL starts to walks away as PUCK and another JOCK slushie her as QUINN covers her mouth laughing.
PUCK:
Awesome.
JOCK:
Holla!
QUINN contemplates her next move worried about losing FINN to RACHEL she soon walks off in a determined fashion with a plan.
SCENE 12 - CHOIR ROOM
WILL is sitting at the piano with a CD player beside him as QUINN, SANTANA, and BRITTANY are standing in front of him.
WILL:
I have to say, I'm really surprised you guys are trying out.
QUINN:
I'm sure you've read about this in the school paper. Finn and I have been an item for a while now. So what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't support him?
WILL:
Well, let's see what you've got.
BRITTANY and SANTANA start off Dionne Warwick's 'I Say a Little Prayer' facing forward as QUINN stands behind them before appearing and singing the lead as WILL watches them clearly impressed. BRITTANY, QUINN, and SANTANA hold the pose with a confident smirk as WILL can't help but smile, his glee club now had 9 members and only needed 3 more to compete at Regionals.
SCENE 13 - SUE'S OFFICE
QUINN, BRITTANY, and SANTANA sit before SUE who looks annoyed.
SUE:
Let me get this straight. You're joining Glee Club?
QUINN (seriously):
I'm sorry, Coach Sylvester, but something is going on between Finn and that thing. You saw how it was undressing him with its eyes. Please don't kick us off the Cheerios.
QUINN starts to tear up as SUE snaps at her.
SUE:
Cease fire on the waterworks. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to see it. You know, Q, when I first laid eyes on you I was reminded of a young Sue Sylvester, though you don't have my bone structure.
QUINN beams at the compliment but her smile fades at SUE'S comment
SUE (cont.):
But it wasn't until this very moment I saw how alike we really are. You three are going to be my spies. I need eyes on the inside. We're going to bring this club down from within.
BRITTANY and SANTANA high five behind QUINN
QUINN (beaming):
And I'm going to get my boyfriend back.
SUE:
I don't care so much about that.
QUINN's smile fades but she realizes she has a job to do, destroy the glee club.
SCENE 14 - CHOIR ROOM
The NEW DIRECTIONS are doing choreography with their newest editions QUINN, BRITTANY, and SANTANA as RACHEL Leads the choreography.
RACHEL:
5-6-7-8
The NEW DIRECTIONS start to dance to the piano music all but KURT who enters late as RACHEL interrupts them.
RACHEL:
No, no, no! Look, you guys, these steps are not hard. I've been doing them since preschool!
MERCEDES:
Who the hell decided to put you in charge?
RACHEL:
Mr. Schuester entrusted me to run this dance rehearsal smoothly.
TINA (timidly):
Shouldn't one of our strongest dancers be running this like Santana or Brittany?
RACHEL scoffs as SANTANA smirks
RACHEL:
I have 16 years of dance experience I'm perfectly capable of running this rehearsal!
KURT:
Of running it into the ground maybe.
RACHEL scoffs again clearly offended.
RACHEL (annoyed):
And where have you been Kurt? This is the sixth time you've been late.
KURT (matter of factly):
The neantherthals on the football team threw me in the dumpster again.
TINA:
Again?
ARTIE:
That's awful.
KURT shrugs
KURT:
I'm used to it.
The bell rings as WILL enters with FINN who wasn't at RACHEL'S rehearsal.
WILL:
Alright guys, let's get started
The NEW DIRECTIONS take their seats as WILL talks to them.
WILL (cont.):
Our first order of business is trying to find 3 new members.
SANTANA:
Good luck with that.
QUINN:
Santana's right. No one would want to join us.
PUCK stands in the doorway.
PUCK:
That's where you're wrong.
The NEW DIRECTIONS turned shocked looking at the door seeing PUCK standing there.
QUINN (says in disbelief):
You want to join?
FINN:
Yeah. What happened to you calling us homo explosion?
PUCK Shrugs
PUCK:
It got old. Plus your rep went up once the 3 hottest girls in the school joined.
PUCK smirks sitting near QUINN, BRITTANY, and SANTANA as QUINN scoffs.
WILL:
Alright..let's welcome our newest member Noah Puckerman.
The New Directions applaud faintly besides BRITTANY and SANTANA who seem thrilled to have PUCK aboard. QUINN, however looks unusually nervous.
SCENE 15 - HALLWAY
QUINN is standing by her locker clearly distraught. She has a lot on her mind especially having a pregnancy looming over her when her boyfriend FINN approaches.
FINN (noticing her upset look):
Quinn. Hey... what's wrong?
QUINN pulls him aside as FINN looks worried
FINN (cont.):
Whatever I did I'm sorry.
QUINN (tearfully):
I'm pregnant.
FINN is clearly in his own world stunned by the news as QUINN continues to talk
QUINN (cont.):
I wasn't sure and I went to the doctor and found out. I'm so sorry.
FINN snaps out of his haze.
FINN:
Mine?
QUINN (lying cleverly):
Yes you. Who else's would it be?
FINN just stands there stunned as QUINN starts to sob.
QUINN (emotionally):
I really thought I had a shot of getting out of here.
QUINN sobs into FINN's chest as FINN tries to comfort her not knowing what to do about her situation.
SCENE 16: FOOTBALL FIELD
COACH BEISTE is scolding the football team.
BEISTE (angrily):
You're supposed to be a team come on!
PUCK:
And we could be one if someone didn't put us Glee dudes down every chance he gets.
PUCK glares at KAROFSKY
KAROFSKY:
Yeah well if you weren't so focused on your precious little glee club maybe we'd actually be winning some games.
PUCK gets ready to fight KAROFSKY as FINN walks onto the field still in a haze of the news QUINN has just revealed.
BEISTE (getting in between PUCK and KAROFSKY who are about to come to blows):
Enough! Bunch of babies you can't keep it together for anything
As BEISTE continues to scold the FOOTBALL TEAM, FINN still in his own world is trying to come to terms with QUINN's pregnancy and soon pictures himself performing 'I'll Stand By You'.
As FINN is performing he can't help but look over at QUINN who is practicing with the cheerios trying to keep her composure pretending like nothing is wrong when her whole world is about to change. As FINN finishes the song he rejoins practice glancing over at QUINN one last time before starting to practice with the team.
Meanwhile the CHEERIOS practice is beginning as COACH SUE SYLVESTER is yelling into her megaphone
SUE (yelling):
Sloppy Babies! You're all sloppy babies. You think this is hard try being water boarded that's hard!
SUE (in a calmer voice, still with distain):
Thanks to a state mandated law I have to give you a break every hour. We'll be back in 5.
SUE puts her megaphone down as the CHEERIOS take their much needed break.
BRITTANY, QUINN, and SANTANA walk off together sipping on their water bottles as BRITTANY beings to talk.
BRITTANY:
You guys won't believe what happened to me last night
QUINN:
Is this another story about you thinking you were abducted by aliens because Brittany we've told you there's no such thing as aliens.
BRITTANY frowns
BRITTANY:
No not that and yes they totally exist.
SANTANA (trying to be supportive):
What happened Britts?
BRITTANY:
There was a stork outside my window. I think it's preparing to give me my baby.
QUINN (cautiously):
Brittany, that's not where babies come from.
BRITTANY:
Yes it is. I think it's a boy.
SANTANA just looks at BRITTANY in disbelief
Meanwhile the football players are also on a break. FINN has been distracted the entire practice and PUCK approaches him.
PUCK:
What the hell is wrong with you?
FINN:
Nothing...I'm just dealing with stuff.
PUCK:
Dude I'm your best friend. Talk.
FINN frowns
FINN:
It's personal.
PUCK:
I knew it! You're in love with Kurt!
FINN (quickly):
Quinn's pregnant and she's keeping the baby
FINN walks away not wanting to discuss this any further as PUCK's eyes grow wide. He knows there's only one possible father of her child, himself.
SCENE 17 - HALLWAY
QUINN is walking down the hall distraught, she hated lying to FINN but didn't know what choice she had. Her thoughts are soon interrupted as PUCK steps in front of her.
PUCK:
Sup, MILF?
QUINN (upset):
Leave me alone.
QUINN goes to walk away but much to her chagrin PUCK follows her.
PUCK:
Who's the daddy? I just think it's kind of weird if it's Finn, since you told me you were a virgin when we did it… And I know for a fact that you didn't do it with him.
QUINN whips around annoyed
QUINN:
How can you be so sure?
PUCK:
Finn's my boy. He would've told me.
QUINN:
Do you make a habit of sleeping with 'your boy's' girlfriends?
QUINN storms off but PUCK decides to get her attention
PUCK:
Well, call the Vatican! We've got ourselves another Immaculate Conception!
QUINN races back and pulls PUCK aside hoping no one heard his rant
PUCK (cont.):
I'd take care of it, you know. You, too. My dad's a deadbeat but I don't roll that way.
QUINN (in disbelief):
Weren't you fired for peeing in the fast-food fryolator?
PUCK:
I've got my pool cleaning business.
QUINN:
We live in Ohio.
QUINN sighs
QUINN (cont.):
I had sex with you because you got me drunk on wine coolers and I felt fat that day, but it was a mistake. You're a Lima loser and you're always gonna be a Lima loser.
QUINN rushes off down the hallway in tears as PUCK watches her leave knowing he has to show her what a catch he is, but how?
SCENE 18 - FOOTBALL LOCKER ROOM
MIKE CHANG and SAM EVANS, two football players are hanging out. MIKE is dancing while SAM is singing 'COPACABANA' by BARRY MANILOW. PUCK's smile widens as he realizes what he needs to do.
As they finish their performance. PUCK pipes up.
PUCK:
You dudes are wicked talented, seriously.
SAM sighs
SAM:
What do you want Puckerman?
PUCK smirks
PUCK:
I'm glad you asked, you and Changster here will be lending your talents to the glee club.
MIKE and SAM exchange looks surprised PUCK would say this.
MIKE:
Didn't you think that glee club was for losers?
PUCK:
Oh it was but 3 names for you. Quinn, Brittany, and Santana.
SAM's eyes light up as PUCK mentions QUINN, he's always had a huge crush on her. MIKE seems to think the cheerios being there made the club more legit, he looks over at SAM who nods.
MIKE:
We're in.
PUCK:
Excellent.
PUCK leaves beaming convinced he's accomplished the impossible, finding new members for glee.
SCENE 19 - CHOIR ROOM
The NEW DIRECTIONS are talking to each other as WILL enters the choir room with PUCK, SAM, and MIKE.
WILL:
Alright guys let's give a warm glee welcome to our newest members, Sam Evans and Mike Chang.
BRITTANY (whispers to SANTANA):
I can't believe they got Justin Bieber to join.
SANTANA looks at BRITTANY is disbelief as BRITTANY waves flirtatiously to SAM who looks at her confused.
WILL:
Regionals here we come.
The NEW DIRECTIONS nod and cheer as WILL hands out sheet music.
WILL (cont.):
Now that there are 12 of us I think I found the perfect song to celebrate.
The NEW DIRECTIONS look at the sheet music and nod as they get into position to sing QUEEN'S 'SOMEBODY TO LOVE'. The NEW DIRECTIONS are incredible and WILL watches them in awe knowing they are ready to take on Regionals as the First Half comes to an end.