A/N: Hey everyone! I have a lot of other stories I should be working on, but this came to me a little while ago and I just had to write it. I'm honestly extremely proud of this story, I think it's some of my best work recently. Looking back on my earlier stories, I can see how much I've grown as a writer. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!
I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waitin' in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound
Isn't anyone tryin' to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
"We've got to keep the band going!" James yelled, moving to stand in front of his friends. "We'll keep rehearsing and get back to L.A. We can't give up!"
Kendall crossed his arms, taking on a defensive stance. "We're not giving up, we're moving on! And I'm not wasting a perfectly good day of my life feeling sorry for myself. None of us should."
"I smell speech!" Logan pointed towards the sky eagerly awaiting Kendall's next words.
Kendall looked towards the unofficial genius of the group.
"Logan, was it your dream to become a Hollywood popstar or a doctor?"
"A doctor." Logan took his sunglasses off and placed them on top of his head.
"Then call up that prep school you say all the doctors come from and get an interview!" Kendall threw his arms out to the side to emphasize his point.
Nodding, Logan said, "good speech so far."
Kendall looked over to Carlos, "and Carlos, what was your dream?"
Carlos jumped up from his lawn chair and placed his hands on his hips jutting his chest out.
"To be hit by a radioactive meteor and fight crime as….Meteor Man!"
"Okay," Kendall said, one eyebrow quirked. "We can work with that."
Getting into Kendall's face, James said, "those dreams are stupid! And you're stupid because Gustavo is coming back."
Matching James's energy Kendall fired back, "Coming back? He didn't even say goodbye…Look around James! There's nobody pulling up in a shiny car offering to make our dreams come true."
As Kendall was finishing yelling, a shiny black sedan pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store stopping beside the four boys. The back passenger window rolled down revealing a dark skinned man wearing a fancy suit and dark sunglasses. Pulling down the sunglasses the man asked, "Kendall Knight?"
Confused, Kendall replied, "yes?"
"I'm the athletic director at Minnesota University and this is an invitation to skate with the team this Saturday." He pulled out a large yellow envelope and handed it to the teen. "This is the Golden Gopher high school all-star skate. I hope to see you there."
With that, he rolled his window up and the car drove off leaving Kendall standing there, stunned. Finally, he turned to his friends.
"This parking lot has been very good to me."
Logan and Carlos crowded around Kendall to get a better look at his special invitation. James, however, stalked to his bike and swung his leg over the seat. Riding up to his friends he hissed, "You are all quitters. Big Time Rush is not dead!"
He punctuated his sentence by slapping his helmet on his head, neglecting to fasten the strap, and rode off in a huff. The remaining members of the now defunct band shared a look.
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I, I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here I know
James rode through town trying to figure out where he should go. He wasn't talking to any of his ex-friends so he couldn't go to any of their houses. He didn't know anyone else in Minnesota well enough to drop in on them randomly. He could go home, but it would just be to his parents fighting. They'd been fighting way before Big Time Rush was even a thought in Gustavo's mind. His dad was a mechanic that owned his own motorcycle shop and his mom owned her own beauty company. They were extremely well off, but both of his parents worked long hours leaving James home alone most of the time. His dad constantly came home dirty, covered in motor oil and other substances, and his mom constantly complained about her filthy husband. On the other hand, his dad refused to put up with Brooke's obsession with neatness and cleanliness. Even with all their problems, his mom insisted they stay together for James' sake. She believed that kids who came from "broken homes" became alcoholics or druggies. James snorted, if anything, having to put up with his parents nonsense is what would turn him towards a life of substance abuse.
Shaking his head, James decided there was no way he was going back to his house. Maybe if he kept riding around town someone would recognize him from BTR. He didn't have anything else to lose. Peddling a little harder, James looked up just in time to skid to a stop before almost getting hit by a bright, white limousine. The vehicle sped past him and he watched it go wondering who could possibly be riding around in something like that in his town. He lived in Duluth and they never saw anything like that around here. He took his helmet off and placed it on his handlebars. He whipped out his lucky comb and fixed his hair while thinking. Could it be another hot music producer looking for their next talent? Or maybe a casting agent looking for a sexy movie star. A modeling agent? By the time James decided any of the possibilities could be real, the limo was out of his sight and he didn't see which way it turned.
With a disappointed huff, he placed his comb back into his pocket and rode off, not bothering to replace his helmet on his head. He spent hours riding around town, stopping at some stores in the guise of needing a snack or a drink, but in reality he was hoping someone would recognize him as a part of Big Time Rush. He lingered outside of a few cafes and smiled at the people who walked past. At some of the businesses, he even sang under his breath hoping a few might recognize his songs. All he got for his efforts were a couple nickels from a nice older woman thinking he was a hustler.
Soon the setting sun was covered by dark storm clouds and what was a nice day quickly turned dark and cold. The wind picked up and the distant sound of thunder could be heard. All around James, people were rushing to their cars to go home before the storm hit. Stores were closing up for the night and the street lights started to flicker to life. James stared down the empty street, his hair whipping around his face. His eyes started to sting, and he told himself it had to be from the wind. His dream really was over. He was so close. So close. Why didn't his friends see that? If they just worked a little harder, they could make it back to L.A. They could be famous. Why didn't they see that? But, maybe not. No one recognized him today. He was just a face without a name. A nobody.
He was a nobody with no one. He wasn't talking to his friends and his parents were too busy fighting with each other to even remember he was there. Nobody cared that he didn't have a dream to fall back on. Singing, dancing, being famous was his dream. He didn't want to be a doctor, a hockey star or a….superhero. James rolled his eyes at that one. And here he thought his dream of fame was unrealistic. But… it wasn't. Not even 24 hours ago his dream was tangible. So close he could almost reach out and grab it! A hot tear escaped and rolled down his ruddy cheek, red from the chilly wind. Where was he supposed to go from here? He wasn't good enough on his own. Gustavo proved that to him when he chose Kendall over him. There was no way he could make it to L.A. all on his own. He wasn't even sure he wanted to, not without his friends by his side. But they didn't care about him anymore. Like it or not he was on his own. James gripped his hair and let out a sob. He was alone.
'Cause nothing's going right
And everything's a mess
And no one likes to be alone
Isn't anyone tryin' to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
He couldn't go home. He didn't want to deal with his parents, if they were even home. His mom would be too overbearing and his dad would probably make snide comments about how James couldn't even last a year in L.A. A loud clap of thunder startled him, causing him to jump and drop his bike. As he bent down to pick it up, he felt a cold fat raindrop fall on the back of his neck. Great, just great. Why was the world suddenly against him? What could he have possibly done to deserve this? Was it because he was too good looking? He couldn't have both, huh? Charmingly good looks and good luck was just too much for the universe apparently. Even with the nasty weather James still refused to go home. His mood was already low enough and he just couldn't handle listening to his parents go at it. With everything closed for the night, he decided the park was his only option.
His ride to the park was slow, the few raindrops he felt in the beginning quickly turned into a full out downpour. He tried to ride faster in a futile attempt to avoid getting soaked, but his efforts only resulted in his tires slipping out from underneath him. He crashed to the ground hard. His bare arms scraped against the rough asphalt and the knees of his jeans ripped open. He never did put his helmet back on, which was a mistake. His head bounced sharply off the edge of the curb and blood dripped into his eye. James hissed and cursed harshly under his breath. Nothing was going to go right for him ever again, was it? He felt like he was cursed. Picking himself up off the ground he hissed in pain. Underneath his ripped jeans his knees were skinned. He had bits of gravel embedded in his arms and his head throbbed in time with his heartbeat. Bitterly, he wished Logan was here with him. Logan always made him feel better when he was hurt. The pouring rain caused blood from the cut on his head to dribble faster into his eye. Angrily he wiped at the watery blood with the back of his hand, but it only irritated the cut more. James felt a sob bubble up and did nothing to stop it. He was wet, cold, everything hurt, and he was all alone.
His head hurt so bad he could hardly think. As if on autopilot, he picked his bike up and started to walk towards the park. He couldn't remember why he needed to get to the park, he just knew that's where he was supposed to go. Were his friends meeting him there? Maybe he was going to wait for them to pick him up. He didn't normally ride his bike in the rain, so that must be it.
Once he got to the park, he found a bench under a tree to sit on. The large oak provided some relief from the rain, but not much. He dropped his bike on the grass next to the bench and dropped onto the metal seat. His stomach felt funny, and without any warning vomit crawled up his throat. He leaned over the side of the bench and wretched into the grass. His headache throbbed with each heave, his hands gripping the armrest so tightly his knuckles turned white. Once he was done, he leaned back and rested his head on the back of the bench, eyes closed. The metal was cold against his neck and he shivered. Opening his eyes he looked around. Why was he in the park and why was he wet? Had he gone swimming in the pool? Where were the rest of the Palmwoods kids?
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I, I'm with you
I'm with you, yeah, yeah
"Sorry guys, James isn't here. I'm not sure where he is," Kurt said, leaning against the door frame. "Honestly, I thought he was with you."
Kendall, Carlos, and Logan shared a worried look.
"Don't worry Mr. Diamond," Kendall said. "We'll find him and we'll let you know when we do."
Kurt nodded nonchalantly and closed the door without another word. The three boys shared another look.
"No wonder he didn't come home," Logan stated. "His dad is acting like he doesn't even remember having a son!"
Carlos nodded solemnly. He felt bad for James and looking back on it now, they were kinda mean to him. It's not like he really had anything to fall back on like the rest of them did. Carlos knew it was impossible for him to be a real superhero, he knew he would probably follow in his dad's footsteps and become a police officer, but that was kinda the same thing, right? He still got to save people from the evil villains. Carlos was also really scared. No one knew where James was, it was really cold and the rain was starting to turn into snow. He hoped James wasn't out in this weather, cold and all alone. Maybe he wasn't a police officer yet, but he could still be a hero. He could still find James and save the day.
"Where do you guys think he is?" Kendall asked, adjusting his beanie so it wasn't crooked. A cold blast of northern air chilled them to the bone. Normally this type of weather wouldn't have even caused them to flinch, but they had been pampered with the warm Los Angeles weather. Their bodies weren't accustomed to this extreme anymore.
Teeth chattering, Logan suggested, "maybe he went to Jenny Tinklers house?"
Carlos shook his head, he knew James wasn't a big fan of Jenny after he claimed she broke his arm playing Marbles when they were younger. He reminded Kendall and Logan of this and they nodded, remembering as well.
"Where else could he be?" Kendall laced his fingers behind his head, looking around the empty street. Snow was slowly collecting on the wet pavement, soon everything would be covered in a thin layer of icy crystals. "Everything is closed by now, especially with this big snow storm coming in."
Before the three boys left Mama Knight's house to look for James, a severe storm warning was broadcasted over the news. They were predicting at least a foot of snow within the next 12 hours and winds up to 30 mph. A recipe for blizzard like conditions. They promised Ms. Knight they would go home if the weather got too bad before they could find James. They didn't think it would be a problem because they were almost certain James was at his house. But now they were worried they wouldn't find him in time.
Carlos stood, staring at the snowflakes as they fell from the sky, they were starting to fall faster and there were more of them. He thought of James, one of his best friends. Where was he? Would they be able to find him before they had to head home? Was James alone in the middle of the storm? Think Carlos, he told himself. Where does James normally go when he's sulking? Then, like he was hit by a meteor, it came to him. The park!
Kendall and Logan were arguing about where to search for James. Kendall wanted to go back to his house to see if James came by to apologize for being a jerk earlier and Logan wanted to look at the skating rink. Even though the rink was closed for the night, all four boys knew how to jimmy the lock so they could skate after hours. They lived in a small town so no one really cared.
"Guys, I know where James is!" Carlos said excitedly. But Logan and Kendall were too busy arguing to hear him. "Guys!"
Still he was ignored. With a huff, Carlos scooped up two small handfuls of snow, shaped them into something resembling a ball and chucked each one at Kendall and Logan. He beamed both boys directly in the face. Furiously, the two boys looked at Carlos, wiping the snow off their faces. Carlos stood with the biggest grin on his face, he had really enjoyed that. Then getting serious he said, "I know where James is!"
"Why didn't you say so instead of hitting us with snowballs!" Logan complained, trying to shake some snow that had fallen down his jacket, out.
Crossing his arms Carlos said, "I tried, but you two dingdongs were too busy arguing to hear me!"
Always the peacemaker, Kendall asked, "Okay, so where do you think James is?"
"He's at the park. He always goes to the park when he's sulking."
"Yeah, but in this kind of weather?"
"Maybe….he didn't know it was going to snow?" Carlos said uncertainly. "Maybe he's on his way back home right now. Maybe we'll run into him if we start walking that way too."
With no better ideas Kendall and Logan followed Carlos down the icy sidewalk. The sun had set completely, their path was lit only by the dim street lights, hazy against the falling snow. All three boys had James on their mind, hoping they would find him, hoping he was okay.
Oh, why is everything so confusing?
Maybe I'm just out of my mind
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah
James woke with a start, he thought he had dozed off for a few seconds but really it was 20 minutes. He was shivering uncontrollably.. All he had on was a lightweight hoodie, no hat, no gloves, no scarf. Why was it so cold in L.A.? He thought. He blearily looked around, all he could see was white. Was Buddah Bob making snow again? He didn't remember it being this cold the last time they had 'fake' snow in California. His hands were numb and hard to move. He didn't feel like playing in the snow anymore, he was too cold. He wanted to go up to 2J, make some hot chocolate, and watch Spongebob with Carlos. He tried to stand, but an overwhelming feeling of dizziness knocked him back onto the bench. His head screamed in pain, and James let out a loud groan. He let his head fall into his hands where he stayed, praying to anyone or anything to stop the agony he was in. Tears fell down his face without him realizing. Why did his head hurt? A violent shiver caused the spikes in his head to stab him harder. He whimpered, why was it so cold? Was Buddah Bob making snow again? A gust of arctic wind bit into James, slicing through his thin jacket. James squinted into the snow trying to see through the white haze. His mind worked sluggishly to understand what he was seeing. Why was it so cold? Was Buddah Bob making snow again? Everything was so confusing. Where were his friends? Why was it this cold at the Palmwoods? He knew he was at the Palmwoods, or at least that's what his brain kept telling him, but his gut said he was back in Minnesota.
He couldn't be back in Minnesota. What about Big Time Rush? Didn't they have a concert coming up? His head throbbed harder, he gripped his hair harshly, pulling on it trying to stop the piercing pain. His stomach roiled and he vomited what little he had in his stomach. The acid burned his throat, a welcome distraction from the fierce pain in his head. If he was sick Gustavo was going to be so mad. They had a concert to prepare for, he couldn't be sick now! The frigid wind blew his hair around, stinging his face. Why was it so cold? Was Buddah Bob making snow again? No, no that didn't make sense. James stared at the bench he was sitting on. He recognized this bench, this was his sulking bench! He was in Minnesota, but he couldn't be! He was part of Big Time Rush, they had a concert coming up! They were going to be famous…
A cold chill ran down his spine and it had nothing to do with the freezing temperatures. Had he made the whole thing up? His mind was sluggish, the world kept going in and out of focus. Was Big Time Rush all in his imagination? Gustavo did kinda look like his seventh grade music teacher. James couldn't breath, oh god, oh god, he made it up. Big Time Rush wasn't real, he was never in L.A. Camille, Jo, Guitar Dude, everyone was a figment of his imagination. Camille was the girl in the gum commercial that Carlos was always singing the lyrics to, he realized. Nausea roiled in his stomach, but he had nothing left to throw up. He was gasping, trying to take air into his frozen lungs.
"Hey man, are you okay?" A blurry figure walked towards James.
James squinted, trying to focus on the human shape in front of him. His world tilted forcing James to squeeze his eyes shut. He never did like amusement park rides, and right now he felt like he was on one. A few moments passed before James felt it was safe to open his eyes. The figure was still blurry, but James could make out a few small details. Long brown hair, sunglasses, a guitar case? But what James saw wasn't a guitar case, it was a large black duffle bag.
"Guitar Dude?" He mumbled, cradling his head in his hands.
"Umm, sure," the figure said. "You look like you're on a bad trip, man."
James nodded imperceptibly. A bad trip? Maybe they were just on a trip to visit family. Maybe Big Time Rush was real.
"Guitar Dude, I wanna go home."
"Hey man. I don't know where you live, but you could come back to my place. I have stuff that'll make you feel real good. And even better, I won't make you pay in cash. You're so hot, I think we could work out another form of 'payment'." Not Guitar Dude said, stroking James' arm.
James wasn't listening to anything Not Guitar Dude was saying. Static filled his head, he was so cold he wasn't even shivering anymore. He looked around for his friends, but, did he even have friends? Did he make those up too? He couldn't remember. He felt something brush his arm, he looked up.
"Guitar Dude?"
"Geeze man, you're really out of it huh? What did you take? You got anymore on you?"
James didn't answer, he just sat on the bench, his hair already coated in a white layer of snow. Not Guitar Dude grasped James' hand pulling him up. "C'mon man. Let's go back to my place, get out of this weather, and get into my bed."
James swayed violently on his feet, but Not Guitar Dude grabbed him by the shoulders to steady him. With a harsh laugh he whispered into James' ear, "man you're gonna be so easy. I can't wait."
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I, I'm with you
I'm with you
"Carlos, I don't see him. I don't think he's at the park!" Kendall yelled over the sound of the wind. The storm was picking up, sharp snowflakes stung their faces as they trudged slowly towards the park. "I don't think James would be stupid enough to be out in this, look around, there's no one else out here!"
Logan nodded, adjusting the scarf around his face, hiking it up higher to try and avoid the icy crystals. Then he wrapped his arms around himself, shivering.
Carlos stopped, but he didn't turn around. His fists clenched and unclenched at his sides. He gazed around at the swirling snow, making everything hazy and hard to see. Sure, there was no one else outside, but they couldn't see more than three feet in front of them. What if James was close, but hidden by the blowing snow? Carlos couldn't explain it, he didn't even understand it himself, but he knew James was at the park. He knew James needed their help. Tears welled in his eyes. "We're coming for you James," he whispered to himself. "Just hang on. We're coming."
Then, he whipped around and stared at his other two best friends. They looked cold and defeated. Carlos was angry, how could they not care about their best friend? James might've said some stuff that wasn't very nice, but he was still James and he was still their best friend.
"What is wrong with you! James could be out in this and you guys are acting like you don't care! James is my best friend, just like you two are. If either one of you were out in this I'd be out here looking for you, just like I am for James. And I think James would be right by my side looking too! I don't care that he was mad at us, I don't care that he said mean stuff. We said mean stuff too…" Carlos choked on a sob. He was cold, tired, and so worried about James. "I don't care what you two do. Go home, but I know James is at the park. I can feel it. And I'm going to the park to look for James no matter what happens. El Hombre Del Flaming Space Rock Man doesn't give up, he makes sure everyone makes it home safely."
Carlos slammed his helmet on top of his head over his dark green beanie, gave it two quick pats, turned around, and continued walking to the park, battling the snow and the wind bravely.
Logan glanced at Kendall before taking off after Carlos. He was right, James was their friend and what if he really was at the park? What if he needed their help? Carlos sounded so sure that James was there so Logan decided to trust his crazy and wild friend. They would find James, no matter what it took.
Kendall continued to stand in shock for a few more seconds before jogging to catch up with Carlos and Logan. He'd never heard the Latino sound so sure of something before. And he had to admit Carlos' speech was surprisingly motivating. With renewed determination all three boys walked deeper into the storm in search of their fourth.
Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I, I'm with you
I'm with you
"-mes! -ames!"
James lifted his head and squinted through the hazy snow. Was someone calling his name? He looked around, his eyes searching for anything peeking through the white mist. Was he moving? Dimly James became aware of a figure next to him, his arm was thrown over the figure's shoulder and his other hand was being gripped by someone else's hand. He tried to focus on the figure's face, but his eyes refused to cooperate. He saw long brown hair and sunglasses.
"Guitar Dude?" He mumbled.
"James!"
"Jaaaaames!
"Where are you man?!"
James' foggy brain recognized those voices, but he couldn't figure out who they belonged to.
"Man, I already told you I'm not 'Guitar Dude'. Is someone looking for you? Is your name James?"
Weakly, James nodded. Why didn't Guitar Dude know who he was?
"I think I see him! Who's he with?"
"He doesn't look good, is that guy dragging him?"
"Hey! Let go of our friend you creep!"
Not Guitar Dude looked behind him to see three teenagers running towards him, all of them looked furious. Without a second thought he dropped James, pushing him behind himself so James was a buffer between Not Guitar Dude and the three angry teens. Then he took off, quickly disappearing into the blizzard. James lay in the snow, his head pounding excruciatingly in time with his heartbeat. He couldn't feel his arms or his legs. He couldn't push himself up.
"James! Oh my god. Oh my god, Oh my god," Logan was babbling as he slid to his knees next to James.
Carlos and Kendall ran past trying to catch up to Not Guitar Dude. They were yelling obscenities at the retreating figure. Once they lost track of where Not Guitar Dude was, they quickly returned to where Logan was assessing James.
"Logie?" Kendall panted, kneeling down next to both boys. Carlos squatted as well. "Is he gonna be okay? What's wrong with him?"
Without answering Kendall's question Logan demanded that Kendall remove his jacket. He told Carlos to give him his hat and scarf. It was then that Carlos and Kendall noticed James was wearing nothing but a light hoodie jacket and nothing else, in Minnesota, during a freaking snow storm. Logan sat James up, receiving a groan in response. He quickly wrapped Kendall's jacket around the injured boy, shoved Carlos' beanie on his head and wrapped the scarf securely around his neck. He waited for James' to complain about his hair getting messed up, but he was silent, drifting in and out of consciousness. Lastly, Logan removed his thick gloves and handed them to Kendall who put them on James' frozen hands. He was scared to see James' fingers were swollen and light blue. Logan was checking James' pulse, his pupils, and the large gash on the side of his head.
Finally, he looked up at Kendall and Carlos. They wore matching expressions of fear.
"James has hypothermia, maybe frostbite, I don't really know the difference. He also has a pretty severe concussion, he hit his head somehow. We need to get him to a hospital right away."
Carlos sniffled. "Do you think that guy has anything to do with this?"
"If he did anything to James I swear I'm gonna-"
"It doesn't matter right now how James got hurt, what matters is getting him to a hospital," Logan interrupted Kendall.
James faintly heard voices above him. One of them sounded really angry, and one of them sounded…sad? What a weird mix, he thought. He forced his eyes open, he wanted to see who was talking. One boy was wearing a helmet, even weirder. One boy had the bushiest eyebrows he'd ever seen. And the last boy looked like a huge nerd. There was nothing particularly nerdish about him, he just gave off an aura of nerd. Then it dawned on him. Friends. These were his friends. He hadn't imagined them afterall. He did have friends and they came for him.
"-arlitos, Logie, Kenda…" James mumbled, finding it incredibly hard to form words. "I anna go ome."
James lifted one of his glove covered hands, grasping for someone's hand to hold. Kendall, Logan, and Carlos all grabbed James' hand at the same time. James smiled, no matter what happened he would always be with his best friends.
Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I, I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you