Happy Miraxus Day 2022 !
He was mad. Intensively mad. Like never before at her. Veins pumping like he was ready to start a battle. At him though, he may have gotten a bit angrier once or twice. Especially when the boy harmed his whole family, trying to throw a rebellion against him in order to start a reign of terror and misery over the people he loved the most. But that was another story.
How stupid did they have to be ?
Honestly, he wondered. There were some days he even wished he was tall enough to smack them both across the face with his wheelchair, just to get their brains both back into places. If only nature hadn't been so cruel towards him.
Mavis, he couldn't believe it.
And the nerve they had. Unbelievable. To just pretend like nothing was happening, right under his nose. To smile and chat like everything was fine, without a thought to what he might be feeling or wondering. To vanish one after the other, not at the same time, oh no, Mavis forbid they even let the slimiest clue that they were actually going back together.
Un-fucking-believable. And he didn't like to swear. Not when he hadn't drunk. He shook the habit out after years of hanging in the guild with a thousand children running around.
Not that he wanted to catch it again, even with them all grown.
If only they could stop acting like children.
Those two stupid brats.
And he loved them. To the death. Didn't even need to explain why. Not when it came to him, but to the girl… Oh, how he grew to love her. Like his own, even if she was one of the only ones to actually remember who was originally supposed to love her this way. And it wasn't just blind fatherly love, since he spent most of his days in her company, trying to get some work done, or mostly watching her getting the job done.
Watching her grow up, and loving what she was becoming. How beautiful and kind, and caring, and just the right amount of witty. Sometimes, he even wondered if she couldn't be some angel sent from the sky to save him from his old days. Not that he wasn't encouraging her to enjoy life as much as she could, even if it meant doing anything, or anyone for that matter. As long as it meant making her happy, and finally taking the life she deserved from the fate that took so much from her.
He just wished she hadn't taken it so literally.
Because him. Well, he certainly wasn't going to make her happy.
And it wasn't as mean as it sounded. Because he loved him and also wished him the best joys of life just as much, if not even more. They just weren't right for each other.
Too much baggage.
They were too different. Or not enough. He couldn't tell. But, he certainly could tell how it was going to end. Horribly. Like some cheap heartbreaking show. Actually, there were several ways it could end, since they were both honestly damaged. Not for the rest of their lives. But for now, and until they actually managed to break through a few relationships, to have time to contemplate what their hearts lacked and were able to give.
If only they weren't so stubborn as to skip all the trials to get to the one that could maybe harm the guild. And he didn't want that. Not after everything. He didn't want to die seeing them both tearing each other apart and his life work with them. It was just too much. Too much for his old heart to bear.
The only thing he didn't know was who was going to bolt first.
It could be both really.
He was just so insecure, so hurt. And with reason. The old man had done his best, taking him in, raising him to the best of his ability, but no grandfather could make up for a shitty emotionally abusive father and a run-away mother. It was actually a miracle the boy wasn't that messed up. He had character, that you couldn't take from him. Most men would have wrecked the world and become a drug addict, or a warlord for that matter.
But he was damaged. Didn't trust anyone. Not even him. Especially not him. But that was mostly his own doing rather than his father's. Barely even opened up to his own carefully chosen friends, that would never dare break his trust. Sometimes he even thought he chose them to make up for his lack of parental validation, to have people chanting his praises to make up for the years of demeaning.
He was going to crush her. The girl needed steadiness and somebody to confide in and trust with her own life. She was a romantic. Not a goofy one though. She believed in die-hard love and life-long promises, in burning desire and intimate support. He knew it. She wouldn't say it, but he knew it. Because he knew her, knew how much she had struggled with loneliness and suffering, even with her siblings at her side.
He was going to run. He was going to get terrified of having to trust somebody else, and he was going to crush her heart into tiny little pieces when she would open up and try for it.
And for that, he wanted to kill him.
Or maybe, he was going to be the one to open up. No reason. Actually, she was just as fucked up as him. She could very well be thinking they were just having fun, and unintentionally mislead him with her emotional talk and kindness. It was difficult not to feel close to her. She had a talent for that. People loved talking to her at the bar because she drew them in with her smile and warmth. It was only when you went to bed that you realized she never even said a word about herself.
He was going to fall for it. Way slowlier than the others, but she was going to do exactly what she did all day, except this time in his arms, and he was going to fall for it and blurt his heart out to her to get the affection he was yearning for. And she was going to crush it, ruin every little effort he ever made to let other people know how truly kind and loving he was, just to step on it and take him years back without even realizing it.
And he wanted to cry at the thought.
There was no way this was going to end well. His best chance was to hope they would both keep their bullshit until the end, and go for a quick and clean break. But how could the best scenario be not to grow at all ?
Because the odds of them getting both of their messes together on the first try was just too unlikely.
And the audacity to try when it was doomed. Well, it angered him so much.
It didn't help that they both acted like children sneaking out to eat candy in secret, or thieves getting ready for the heist of the century. They didn't even look at each other most days, let alone exchange a few words that weren't directly related to jobs, or drinks, or the weather, but that was them trying. He knew because he had watched, carefully, weeks after finding out about the deed.
He had heard the rumors before, of course. But nothing quite compared to seeing it on his own. He hadn't believed them, didn't want to believe them. There were a thousand rumors going around the guildhall every day, especially about eminent members, and he was too old to pay attention to drunken chitchat, particularly when the two concerned barely managed to talk to each other for five minutes.
It was ridiculous.
He had found out during their trip to Crocus, to celebrate Lucy's award and drink the night away. He was old but he wouldn't have missed it for the world. He was too proud of her.
Of course, he thought it was weird when he saw his twenty-five year old grandson leaving the party before midnight, only half an hour after he himself considered calling it a night. But the boy had never been a social butterfly, even seeing him not hating the whole gathering already felt like a win.
He hadn't thought much about it when he saw that they were sitting next to each other the whole time. After all, they both belonged to groups that seemed pretty determined to mingle, so it wasn't that out of the blue. Maybe he noticed it, wished they wouldn't return to their old ways and wreck the place over what color the tablecloth was supposed to be. He prayed for that one.
Didn't even connect the dots when Mira got up, just fifteen minutes later. Right on the clock, he had to give it to her now, the timing was perfect. She went to congratulate Lucy, and then had the nerve to come up to his table and ask him if he needed help getting back to his room. Like she wasn't planning on skipping her own to see if Laxus' wasn't more comfortable.
He couldn't believe it.
He felt betrayed.
He trusted that girl. Trusted her with all the comings and goings of the guild, the one thing he gave his life for. Trusted her with his thoughts, feelings, and doubts. Mavis, he didn't even trust Erza that much. And she knew. She knew how much it meant to him, how he was the most treasured thing he had left on this earth.
And she went for it.
Didn't even have the decency to tell him to his face.
Didn't even have the nerve to face him right after he found them out.
He didn't have the strength to face her either, to be honest.
She didn't like when he drank, kept on rambling about how it was bad for his health and his heart, how smoking could keep him from seeing his children thrive and be happy, and did he want to miss that ? No. Certainly Not. But he was old, and it was pretty difficult to explain to her, how, despite her best efforts, he could very well be found dead in his bed tomorrow, for no other reason than that it was the time. So, he certainly wasn't going to miss out on his last opportunity to enjoy a good whiskey or a cigar.
He was too old for that.
But, he didn't want to hurt her. Not when she spent way too many nights making sure he was going to bed properly and taking care of his way too big of a house. Did he feel ashamed about sneaking out at five in the morning when sleep eluded him ? Certainly. Very much so.
Couldn't quite shake the irony when they had both found each other uncovered and guilty as charged. Him on his way to join Guildarts and the last partiers, and get some hard-earned liquor, and her getting out, dissheveled and sleepy, from a room whose number he knew to be Laxus'.
Mavis, he didn't have the nerve to call her on it when she stared at him. Pretty sure he never saw her as red or as flustered. She didn't even try to articulate a word to him. Just stared, and he stared back at her, before walking past him without another glance. Just walked straight across him and down the corridor to her room.
She was savage.
"I just caught Mirajane getting out of Laxus' room'' Was the only thing he could articulate when he found an empty seat beside the fourty-seven year old mage.
He didn't quite know how to take the warm laugh he had gotten.
"About fucking time." The brown-haired said, trying to calm his laughter and finish his glass. He was drunk, anybody could have smelled the whiskey in his breath from a mile away.
The old man only smiled awkwardly, and finished his drink straight, to forget about the all too disturbing image.
They hadn't talked about it. Not for weeks. The woman just pretended they had never seen each other. Even missed the opportunity to scold him about his drinking. Probably hoping he had been too tired (or, too drunk) to remember their encounter. But you didn't spend fifty-three years running a tavern without developing a resistance to shake the gods. But he didn't call her on it.
He observed her. Observed her manners. Looked for the slightest tell, the subtlest blush when the blond talked to her, the quickest touch between their fingers when they just stood too close. And they were good. Honestly, only someone in the know could catch it, but they weren't invisible. He noticed the glance he'd send her before ordering a drink. He noticed the knowing smirk she had when she asked him about his job. Noticed the way he would drag time at the bar, before resigning and going up the stairs when someone else would require her attention.
And it killed him.
It killed him how they could just go along their day acting all innocent and probably laughed at him later, at all of them. About how everyone was so oblivious to it. Like it was their fault if they couldn't assume a glance in public could mean many more things in private. He wanted to kill them. For playing with fire. For acting like spoiled entitled brats. For hiding things that they knew were bad.
He almost gagged on his drink the day he saw it. That day when she was just so drunk and he saw her grab his arm to rest on it. He even looked around to see if anyone else had seen it, but he was only met with bored eyes that didn't have a clue about what just happened.
Maybe it wasn't that important. Maybe everyone knew and he was the only one caring. Maybe he shouldn't care about it and let them figure their own things out. Maybe it wasn't that big of a deal.
But, it was to him. Maybe it was stupid and childish, but he was angry. He was angry at them for hiding such a thing from a person they were both close too. From the person that cared most about them, that knew them better than they knew themselves. Even if that person hadn't been capable of guessing it for himself
Maybe he was mad at himself. Maybe he was sad he didn't know them as much as he thought he did. Maybe he hated himself. For being so slow. For being so blind.
He wanted to confront her. He wanted to scold. Tell her how stupid she was being. Him too, but it was already so difficult getting time alone with him, he didn't want to offer him an excuse to skip their rare meals together. He worked too hard for them.
But he never could. For the first two weeks because it was too awkward to bring up. For the weeks that followed because he wanted to see how much time they could go without addressing it. Maybe the boy wasn't even aware about him knowing. Not if Mirajane had kept it from him.
But why would she ?
He almost choked on his beer the day he asked her out. Out of the blue. In front of everyone. He was pretty sure he heard the whole goddamn guild freeze when they heard. Pretty sure he heard a few ones falling from their chairs when she actually said yes. She tried to hide it of course, but she was red as a poppy, fidgeting as she tried to ignore the questions to go back to her everyday chores.
Maybe it was kind of cute.
"So, you and Laxus, right ?" He had finally asked just a few hours after that. Once they were alone in his office, trying to get through the pile of complaints hoping to touch the ceiling.
He could see her straighten a little, probably not expecting the direct question from him. After all, he kept silent for many weeks, so why now ?
"Right. " She only responded, not lifting her eyes from the letter she was reading.
"Huh." He thought about giving up. But no. He wanted an answer and a resistant twenty-one year old certainly wasn't going to stop him.
She only gave him a glance then. But that was all he needed.
"And how long exactly has this been going on between the two of you ?"
"I don't know what you're talking about, master." She hummed.
"Don't play with me, child." He wanted to scream but instead settled for firm. "I'm old, but I'm not that old."
Still no glance, she was pretty motivated not to look at him, shrugged her shoulders and kept on working, pretending like the conversation wasn't making her head burn.
So, he didn't say anything next, only stared at her, very intensively, very much expecting a response. She kept on working as long as she could but there was just something about the master burning holes into her that became too difficult to bear.
She looked at him then, tried to take on her best teenage-like face about how unimportant it was, but he didn't let her. He gave her the knowing eyebrows and she felt herself stiffen, feeling like a child whose parent remind that lying only makes the punishment worse.
She swallowed and turned back to the papers, trying to hide the disarray that spread through her core.
"A few months" She maybe articulated with another shrug.
"A few months ?" He sounded angrier.
"More or less." She scribbled something on paper, probably a bill.
There were not many times when he wanted to unscrew her head from her body to see if she could be as unnerving, but that was definitely one of them.
"You mean you don't know ?" He tried to control his tone, but he was fuming.
She sighed and lifted her deep blue eyes to uncomfortably stare at him, just for a second.
"I mean it doesn't have to be that important"
"I see… " He sighed trying to think of a mischievous remark to throw back but nothing came to mind. So he just drank his beer in silence.
A few months.
It was insane.
They didn't talk about it again. Not for a long time.
"Why don't you try minding your own business, for once ?" The blond also shot down every chance he took at warning him.
They both had that way of getting on edge every time he would try to put the subject back onto the table. Even if it was just to tell them that whatever was going on between them, he and the guild certainly didn't want to hear anything about it.
So he ignored it. He waited. Waited for the day they would become ancient history and he could go back to normal with both of them.
He just hoped he'd still be alive by then.
"I don't get what's bothering you." Bob said to him one day, when he was visiting on a business trip away. "You love that girl." He put down his drink in exasperation. "If you were seventy years younger, you'd marry her yourself." The Blue Pegasus master laughed.
Like that was a reason.
A few weeks later, he finally gave in. Just not to die stupid. Maybe he was never going to like it, but he could at least try to comprehend it.
Mirajane was just a little less inclined to answer his questions.
"What do you mean why ?" She only asked back when he went forth and tried to inquire. A bit aggressive, as always when it came to the thunder mage.
"I do not wish to fight, child." He tried to diffuse the tension but she was already frowning to hell and becoming all agitated it took everything in him not to give up. "I am only curious."
"I didn't see you becoming that curious when Gajil and Levy got together."
"Surely, you can see why that is different."
"I can assure you, I don't."
There was a silence. A long one. One during which she shelved a few more papers before turning back to him to raise her eyebrows again. A bit insolent maybe. She had quite a spark, one that clashed with her usual demeanor, one that he didn't see often. But he wasn't going to let her have her way around him. He wasn't that old. So he was just raised his much more impressive eyebrows back until she turned around back again.
"I really don't get what you expect me to say." She was tidying the desk, glancing at him from time to time while he only stared and finished his cigar, ignoring her judgmental look.
"You mean you can't think of a single reason why you would want to date Laxus of all people ?"
He saw her smirk, but only for a split second.
"I can think of many reasons, master." She sighed while gathering the glasses on her tray. "I'm just afraid they might be a bit too generic for what you're looking for."
"Generic ?"
"That's the word, yes." She smiled, then. Like she was having him.
He paused, blowing out smoke. But still staring at her, so she knew she wasn't dismissed.
"I don't know." He sighed again, folding the paper of the day, just for countenance. "I've seen you turn down quite a few people from the guild over the years."
"Well, maybe that's because he's not twice my age, nor divorced, or married for that matter." She tried to giggle but his face looked just too serious for that, so she only grinned. "I like that in a man."
Sometimes he wondered why he even bothered.
So, he tried seeing it for himself.
"Why don't you stay for dinner instead ?" He invited her once as she was preparing to leave while Laxus sat on the couch in front of him, eyes widened and everything, as usual, when the boy (rarely) gave in to his passive aggressive invitations and came over to eat alone with him.
He saw her hesitate, he even caught the glance she threw at the blond, seeming like she was checking by him, as he wasn't ready for any possible reason to avoid being left alone with his old man. "I really doubt he's going to mind." He tried adding.
"Well…" She stammered, taking her shoes back off and grabbing a glass to join them on the couch, ignoring the victory glance he had when he understood he finally managed to take them by surprise. "I guess I can spare an evening."
He didn't know what he expected, but he certainly was disappointed when they didn't even try to exchange a few words through the whole night. Well, he was pretty sure they did in the kitchen, but never in front of him, let alone touch. No, not a finger, not a word to each other, only to him. He was less angry than amazed now. What kind of self-control could they possibly have ?
He tried talking to her sister then. After all, the girl was as close to her eldest as anyone could be, so she had to know something, right ?
"I don't know, master, they never really hang out with me either." He was very disappointed with this one. "Not together, I mean." The white-haired girl tried to smile, but the old man looked too concerned to be taken lightly. "They just don't like having people around."
He sighed.
"From the lack of witnesses, I'm beginning to doubt they even hang at all." He smoked while the eighteen year old giggled with amusement. "You forgot one." He pointed at the glass left on the table.
"Well, I rather think it's a good sign, you know."
He was intrigued then, grinning slightly. "And why is that, child ?"
"I don't know…" She finished piling the glasses up on her tray before smiling brightly at him. "The thing with my sister is that she never talks that much about the things she cares about."
"That's an interesting take."
"Well, not to me at least." She sighed too. "But from what I heard, she's a lot more talkative with Erza these days."
He frowned at the thought. " Erza, why ?"
"I don't know, maybe it's the booze talking." She giggled again. "Or maybe, it's because she doesn't talk under torture."
He smiled at her as she exited the office. A bit more satisfied with her than with the others.
Erza, huh ?
Now, that was someone he could ask.
Or not.
From the red her head immediately got when he asked, he'd go for the latter.
"I really don't… I really don't know what you want me to say, master…" She stammered so hard, way redder that he'd ever seen her before.
"Don't give me that, Erza." He cut her, tried grinning to relax her. "From what I've heard, you know more than anyone in here."
She got even more flustered. If that was even possible.
"Maybe…" She swallowed hard. "But, I'm not…" She whispered then. "I'm not really supposed to talk about it."
He thought hard about making her. He certainly could. She would never hide something from him if he inquired, he knew that. He could order her to talk and she would shamefully confess the whole thing even if it meant betraying her friend. But he hesitated. After all, the guild peace and running greatly relied on the two women's good understanding, and force a feud between the two just seemed too stupid for that idiotic a reason.
"I do not wish to make you uncomfortable, child, but I'm just looking for…"
"Please, don't make me tell you, master." She cut him though, still red as a tomato and looking down. "I really can't have Mira hating me again."
He nodded. Sometimes² there was no helping it.
He thought he had gotten to the end of his ressources by then. Maybe he was never going to comprehend it. Maybe he didn't have to. Some things maybe weren't made to be understood. They never fought like he used to think they would. They never talked for that matter. He could go on about his day without even having to think about it. He even had to check by the girl, once in a while, just to make sure this was still happening.
Some guild members even forgot and tried to ask the white-haired out, but strangely only when the blond was away. The Thunder Legion didn't like it though. He himself didn't like it. Just because he didn't approve of something didn't mean guildmates could act this way towards each other. It was a matter of respect.
He did like that Laxus came by more often though. Not too often, he didn't like exaggerating. But he slowly stopped turning him down for whatever reason he had found that night. He was calmer too, a little bit more relaxed and smily, but that could be very well him taking his dreams for reality. He didn't know if she had something to do with that.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
But he did see him smile that day. When the guild was dark and packed. When the chatter was so loud he had trouble understanding Cana next to him. He saw them. Up onto the balcony where they thought no one was paying attention. He had trouble at first, catching the hand on her waist, or the bright mischievous grin she had during what seemed to be a passionate and witty conversation.
It seemed like they didn't catch the ruckus around them. Or maybe they were just too used to it to pay any attention. He wondered what could be so interesting that they wouldn't even think about looking around. And maybe he felt a bit sad. Sad that he didn't know what could possibly be the topic at hand. Maybe he almost felt his heart sink that he might never know.
He almost hissed though at the way he had to keep her way too close to him, and let his hands wander a little bit too much. He almost wanted to turn around at the way he dragged her closer to casually lean in and capture her lips. It was swift, or maybe it was longer. He hadn't gotten a good look, even staring the whole time. Strangely, he couldn't tell.
But he could tell they were smiling.
And for that, maybe.
Maybe it wasn't all that bad.
Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you want !