Kyle woke up dizzy and in pain, red and blue lights flashing around him as he lay on the pavement. He looked up and saw nothing but a blurry mess of colors until his eyes focused on a large fire about ten yards away, the motorcycle consumed in flames.
"Holy shit!" He yelled in alarm, scrambling to his feet and taking off his leather jacket to try and beat the flames down, but it seemed to have no effect.
A girl stepped out of a car a short distance away, pink rhinestone cell phone in hand as she stared at the scene in horror.
"Well don't just stand there, help me!" Kyle yelled, still trying to beat down the fire despite the lack of progress. She stood rooted in place and he turned to yell at her again only to realize she was staring at something behind him, tears filling her eyes while a hand covered her mouth.
Kyle looked in that direction to see a mangled body lying in a pool of blood, the smear on the pavement telling he had been knocked quite a distance off his motorcycle.
Kyle walked numbly over to the body, staring down at his own bloody face and torn skin, bones jutting from his legs and his back twisted impossibly.
"Tragic, isn't it?" A woman sighed beside him as a fire truck blared behind them, pulling up with an ambulance close behind.
Kyle turned to the woman to ask her what the hell she was going on but was stopped by her outrageous appearance.
She was wearing a sparkly pink hoop skirt dress, with sequins and chunky jewelry, a long cone hat drooping a sheer cloth of fabric over her goldilocks curly gray hair. She was holding what looked to be a long thin shaft of wood with ribbons hanging off the end of it and were those… tiny butterfly wings on her back?
"What the hell are you?" He asked the strange woman, watching paramedics run over to the body on the ground, talking hurriedly about no pulse and skin abrasions.
That couldn't be him, right? He was right here, so how could that be him?
"If it makes you feel any better she'll never text while driving again. Also you'll make the news tonight and be an example to pass a law banning texting while driving."
He blinked for a moment as events sunk into his head and he paled, his breath catching in his lungs. "I'm dead."
"Two points for Sherlock." The woman poked him with her wand.
His shoulders sagged with depression. "I was only 25… I'd just graduated college!"
"Yes, tragic that. All those loans for nothing." She sighed, shaking her head at the scene.
Kyle couldn't help but get angry at her unsympathetic words, gritting his teeth to keep calm. "So what are you supposed to be, some angel that's come to take me to heaven?"
"Angel! Oh good gracious, no." She giggled and fanned her face with her hand as she flushed. "You flatter an old woman. No, I'm your fairy godmother. I could take you to heaven if you'd like- I hear the food is to die for."
Kyle stared in shock at the woman, still stuck on 'fairy godmother'. "You're… my fairy godmother…?" He shook his head in disbelief before turning to see the paramedics take away his body in a black bag. "Even if you are, you kind of suck."
"I'm very busy, you know!" She huffed. "You should have listened to your mother and gotten a car with nice soft airbags."
Kyle flinched at that and sighed in dismay. She was right, his mother had begged him not to get a motorcycle. "So then why are you here?" He looked at her dully.
"To give you a second chance. I seem to have… erm… gotten distracted. So, if you want I can bring you back to life."
He perked up at that, grinning in excitement. "Really?"
"Of course. What's your favorite fairy tale?"
"W-what?" Kyle blinked. "Why does that matter?"
"Well I can't bring you back to life here, silly. You're dead. Come on, tell ol' Driscilla what you want."
"Fairy tales?" He tilted his head, unable to think of anything in his shocked state. "Like what?"
"Oh, good gravy. Alright, we'll dumb it down. What's your favorite Disney movie?"
"Beauty and the Beast… but I still don't get why it matters."
"I'm a fairy godmother, silly man. I do fairy tales. Okay… let's see…" She brought out a small book from the bosom of her dress and started flipping through the pages thoughtfully. "Ah, here we go! Okay…" She raised her wand as it started to sparkle. It seemed to be somehow producing glitter dust…
She brought it up and whacked him on the head with the end of it, hard enough to make him see stars. He felt his head cloud as black crept from the edges of his vision to consume him.
"See you on the other side, sweetie." He heard the fairy godmother twitter before blacking out completely.