Hello dear ones,

so. Bella is pregnant. Who would have expected that? ;-)

I would like to apologize in advance to all real mommies at this point!

I've never been pregnant long enough to notice until now. Well, except that I was a bit late. To that extent, anything to do with the progression of pregnancy and such will not be based on my own experiences. I've only talked to friends in this regard and done a lot of reading and research on the internet. So, if there is something that you think can't be true, please don't be angry with me.

I usually stick to the original, but here everything will be a little bit different than it was in the books. There are just things I can't reconcile with my mind ;-)

Have fun and I hope for your comments.

Best regards Sandra

Chapter 130

A Joyful News

Bella

I was pregnant!

I put my hands on my belly.

I could not believe it. A child. A baby. From Edward. From my angel.

Carefully I got up from the floor and checked whether I had hurt myself when I fell over.

Felt all good except for a small bump on the back of the head.

I placed myself in front of my large mirror ...

So this is what a woman looked like who just discovered she was having a child. Beaming all over her face.

I put the test in my back pants pocket, lifted my T-shirt, pushed the waistband down, and positioned myself sideways to the mirror.

There was a bulge. Quite clearly. I had noticed it even yesterday, but blamed it on the many and good food of the last few days. Christmas time. There I always gained a little weight. Four days in a row a substantial breakfast. Oysters, pork tenderloin and a dream of chocolate. Turkey with sweet potato casserole and pumpkin pie. Cotton candy and other sweet stuff. Cookies. Pulled Pork. Apparently, I was wrong with this assumption. I wonder how many weeks I was at? I had to see a doctor! He would surely want to know when I had my period for the last time. Damn! I didn't write that down anymore. I had a personal overseer for it, who told me in time. But I couldn't go to a normal doctor, I remembered immediately. It was Edward's baby. Maybe it would develop differently, which we could not explain to an ordinary doctor. I felt the unspeakable heat in my cheeks as I realized I had only two choices. Edward or Carlisle. Which of them would be better or worse, I could not say.

I almost hyperventilated at this statement and put one hand to my forehead and the other against my lungs.

Just keep breathing calmly. Even this you will get through!

At the same time, I was overcome with nervousness.

What was allowed and what was not allowed as a pregnant woman? Could I still eat and drink what I wanted or were there restrictions? Sure. Alcohol and raw meat were taboo. Everyone knew that. But otherwise? Coffee? Cola? Chips? How much did I have to eat to make sure the baby got enough nutrients? What did it look like with physical exertion? Where did this effort already begin? Sex? These were all things I had not had to deal with with Jake and Leah. I had spent six months of my pregnancy in a lethargic depression. Afterwards, Renée had paid attention to such things. And that was eighteen years ago. I couldn't remember if she had said anything specific about it. Some basic rules or something. We went for a walk a lot back then, I remembered. Sonya was also on my mind. She did sports, despite her pregnancy. Yoga and stuff like that.

But although this mass of questions really frightened me and also somehow overwhelmed me, I felt happy. The woman in the mirror couldn't get her joyful laughter out of her face.

I no longer felt young enough? Babies were stress? Getting up in the night would be too exhausting for me? Baby cries would get on my nerves? I didn't need another child? Bah! What I had thought about another child until now was no longer existent. I loved this little Knob. Already. With all my heart. And I was not the only one who could be happy about it. There was also a father. Edward. He would go crazy with joy! Edward becomes a father. A real father. Not a surrogate daddy for almost adult teenagers. No. His baby! He would be so happy about it. This time he wouldn't miss anything, even if it was a small insignificant thing. The first word, the first steps. But also the first rain puddle, which had to be examined extensively. An earthworm or a beetle that would be curiously followed. Snowflakes or morning dew. There was so much to discover. Edward gave me the most beautiful gift. US the most beautiful gift. A part of him grew inside me and it would complete our love. A little angel.

"Bella!" the father-to-be suddenly stood in the bedroom doorway.

"Edward?" I stated in surprise.

I staggered towards him, drunk with joy, and let myself fall into his arms.

"You seem to be doing better!" my primary care physician noted.

Um ... Yes and no, I considered secretly. The fact that I had strictly still not eaten anything was not necessarily the best basis for my constitution and my circulation now, but apart from that I felt insanely happy and fantastic.

I responded by putting my arms around his neck and kissing him.

He returned the kiss in a way that should be forbidden, but from which I just never got enough.

As I struggled to get the oxygen that I unfortunately needed to live, I snuggled up to his musical smile, Edward's arms wrapped around my waist in my back, and he squeezed me tighter against him, but I resisted a little.

Not that the baby would be crushed.

"Why are you here already?" I asked. It could be noon at the most. Or had I spent half the day standing in front of the mirror and daydreaming? It's quite possible, I realized chuckling.

"I tried to call you, but you didn't answer. That's when I got worried," he murmured softly as velvet.

"I didn't hear it. My cell phone is downstairs," I remembered.

I felt the reassured smile on his chest as he hugged me some more. As he did so, I noticed something fall to the floor behind me and involuntarily turned around.

Edward was already kneeling to pick it up again.

The test.

I put my hands over my mouth in renewed joy.

Edward, on the other hand, bristled.

Of course, he recognized what he was picking up.

He continued to kneel, but held it out to me like a piece of evidence. Hesitantly at first, before a gentle smile settled on his seductive lips.

"Who wasn't paying attention?" he asked honeyed with a raised eyebrow. "Didn't we establish some time ago that I was far too young to be a grandfather?"

I nodded movedly into my delighted smile. I had to swallow to be able to joy laced my throat and already pressed against my eyes. I took his face in my hands. Gently kissed his cool lips.

"But old enough to become a father!" I tried to say clearly.

No response.

"We weren't paying attention and we're having a baby!" I continued to explain.

His gaze slid incredulously to the pregnancy test in his hand, but then promptly back to my eyes.

"You're ... pregnant?" he asked befuddled.

I nodded. I couldn't look so quickly at how his face changed. He was laughing. His eyes were shining. He rose and pulled me tightly to him.

"I love you, Bella!" he squeezed me, and a bell-like laugh filled the room.

He pushed me slightly away from him, put his hands to my cheeks and gently kissed my face. He looked at me for a moment before he began to speak. So quickly and frantically that I hardly understood anything.

"We are going to have a baby! ... We need a nursery ... We need to add on! ... We need to tell the kids ... Carlisle must examine you ... He will be taken by complete surprise ... Esmé. Rosalie. We ... He ..." then he stopped suddenly.

The sparkle disappeared from his face. He lowered his gaze.

"I ..." he stammered, and it sounded anything but happy.

What had I missed now? What had gotten into my angel?

Gently, I put a hand on his cheek, wanting to ask what was wrong, but he was already talking.

"I ... can't beget children!" said Edward, only lifting his gaze to me with difficulty, as if it would cause him pain. Immediately he looked away again.

But I smiled.

"Of course you can! How else could I be pregnant?" I stated enthusiastically. After all, there had been enough opportunities. After all, the thing about the bees and the flowers wasn't that hard to figure out. Especially with his background knowledge as a doctor. I wonder when it had happened? Which of those breathtaking moments with Edward was the decisive one? Was it even possible to find out? Was it important? No. What was important was that we were given this miracle! "Edward," I started and put my arms around his neck in love.

When he looked at me, I flinched.

A slap in the face could not have hit me harder than this look. The gold of his eyes was frozen, and I suddenly felt bitterly cold. I was shivering. From the cold. His gaze was unambiguous, he looked at me bitterly and now held the test out to me accusingly.

Mechanically, I took it. I needed a moment to process that look from him. To understand the words he had not spoken.

All strength left me as I grasped the accusation between the lines.

I would have betrayed him!

I felt a little woozy, so Edward held me by the arms, but the burgeoning anger kept me going.

Edward promptly let go of me as I stood reasonably securely on my own two feet.

As if he was disgusted to touch me.

"Are you moronic?" I asked angrily.

"I am merely facing the facts!" retorted Edward harshly.

"Tell me to my face that I cheated on you!" I demanded sharply of him. How dare he even think that! That I would touch another man!

"You hold the proof of that in your hands," he growled with his eyes narrowed in anger.

"Edward! I love you!" I screamed against him in panic. I didn't know what else to say and I was too terrified to stay calm.

"Apparently not enough!" he yelled back.

I lashed out and my palm struck him resoundingly right on the cheek. At the same time, the painful burning sensation in my hand set in.I ignored it as far as possible and looked at Edward spitefully. He hadn't moved a millimeter. I just glared at him.

I was lost for words!

He turned away from me, ran his fingers through his tangled hair erratically, and walked past me languidly. He looked out the window into the forest.

I leaned against the cabinet.

This inner tension sapped at me. And that, when I already felt powerless.

I hid my face in my hands and sorted out my thoughts. One hand wandered over the little Knob as if by itself.

Of course, Edward had to draw this conclusion. How could I have overlooked that? For him, there could be no other possibility. He was convinced by the fact that he could not father children. How deeply he believed in this alleged fact had been proved to me by his departure twenty years ago. Perhaps it was truly a miracle that I was now carrying his child under my heart. For there was no other man.

I looked up again.

Edward seemed very calm, which rubbed off on me a bit.

I dared to go to him.

"Edward. I love you. I have never cheated on you. It is YOUR child!" I said softly.

I pulled on his arm, which required all my available strength, and put his hand on my stomach.

His hardness broke. I saw it. He closed his eyes and looked sensitive. As if his insinuation itself was causing him pain.

So he remained for a moment, until he knelt in front of me. With his hands on my waist, he put his ear against my belly.

"I hear it," he whispered devoutly, and I put my arms around his head.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I soothingly tickled through the tangled mess of his hair and pleasantly placed my throbbing palm against his cheek. We stood like that for a long time.

I enjoyed this intimate moment between us. Between the three of us. I imagined how we would experience this miracle together. How the love for this being would increase with each passing day. The nine months of pregnancy that were now ahead of me, before which I really had a little jitters. In the meantime, it was probably a little less than nine months. I mean, when I could already see the Knob. The first months, in which one still had the danger of miscarriage in front of your eyes. Even later, when my belly would be so round that I would hardly be able to move. The birth itself. That had already been no pleasure with the twins and in the meantime, I was no longer a young woman. But I could still remember very well this feeling of happiness when it was over. All my pains and fears and concerns were gone when I had my two sweethearts lying in my arms. It would be the same this time. Only this time I was not alone.

"I wish so much that it was my baby. But it isn't. It can't be," he said impassively, detaching himself from me and getting up from the floor.

He looked pretty beat up.

"Edward. Why are you saying that? Why are you destroying this?" I whimpered on the verge of tears. I held my little Knob. Covered him with my hands so he wouldn't hear what nasty stuff his daddy was saying.

"Carlisle has ruled it out! I have no reason to doubt that" his voice became hard.

It came to me as if he did not want to believe me in any case.

"Carlisle is not omniscient!" I etched back defiantly. After all, the oh-so-awesome Carlisle didn't know why healing sometimes took longer with wolves. "Who tells you he's not wrong? How does he even know and can be so sure?"

"He's a medical doctor. How do you think he found out?" Edward snapped at me.

Once he had turned in my direction in anger, he immediately turned back to the window.

My nerves were stretched to breaking point and I put a hand against my head. I groped behind me, where the big armchair had to stand somewhere.

Staggering more than anything, I arrived at it, plopped down inside, and concentrated on breathing steadily.

"Did he also test you in this regard? Or only himself? ... Perhaps this statement applies only to him! Perhaps he was not able to do it as a human being!" I questioned bitingly.

"Further investigation had become unnecessary. I live in a body made only of cold stone," Edward venomously declared, before condescendingly continuing, "Tell me, Bella, how a lifeless rock can produce a child!"

He did not look at me at that, but continued to stare stubbornly out of the window.

I felt my nose put out of joint. Betrayed by him. He did not stand by me.

I cried softly to myself, not knowing if he noticed.

"You're right!" he said after a seemingly endless eternity.

However, the alarm clock showed that only two minutes had passed.

"Carlisle is not omniscient. But for all he knows, it's impossible. Nothing in our bodies is alive or evolving. How can life come from that?"

I felt that the reason was fighting with the emotions in him. A battle that I would lose in my own inner self at any moment.

"Edward. Please," I murmured.

"Please what? Bella?" he asked in a whisper, turning in my direction. His eyes narrowed contorted with pain. His face a mask of bitterness. "You're carrying a child in you that can't possibly be mine ... Tell me what else you could ask of me?"

I covered my ears and squinted my eyes.

I could not bear this accusation any longer.

Enraged, I stood up and snapped at him.

"Stop saying that! It's your child! You are the father!Do you think I'd let someone else get close to me? Do you really believe that?What do you take me for? I have never touched another man!... You ... I ..." I had started angrily and loudly and became quieter and quieter. My room had begun to spin and became faster and faster. It made me swallow the rest of the countless words I still had in store. Glowing heat ran through my body, followed by an ice-cold shiver. "Who should ... then ... the father ..." I still brought forth, as the floor came closer and closer to me.

"Bella!", I heard a velvety voice next.

I opened my eyes. Everything was still spinning a little, but the view quickly became clearer. I was lying on the bed and Edward was sitting at my side.

There, where he belonged for the rest of eternity.

Except for Edward cooling my forehead with one hand, he did not touch me.

"What have you eaten since breakfast?" he asked anxiously.

I had to think about it for a moment.

So much had already happened today.

"Nothing. Even breakfast came up again," I remembered why I even had the idea that I might be sick after all.

"You stay down!" he sternly commanded me and left the room.

I turned on my side towards the windows and huddled up a thoughts, I looked through the glass, watching the treetops of the forest swaying in the gentle breeze. The gray cloud cover above. My eyes became heavy.

"Bella," Edward murmured to wake me up again, tenderly stroking over my cheek.

I smiled.

On his other hand he balanced a tray and my stomach growled. The corners of his mouth twitched briefly, but otherwise his face remained helped me lean upright against the headboard and I slowly began to eat and drink.A sandwich, juice, chopped kiwi, and a few grapes, a cup of caramel pudding and a small bowl of ice cream.

I probably would have ventured more into rusks with tea or chicken soup, but as I found out earlier, I was ONLY pregnant. Not sick! That was a difference!

I ate it all up.

"You need to take better care of yourself so that your baby is okay," Edward said lecturingly as he took the empty tray from me and set it aside.

"Our baby!" I insisted acidly, and he looked to the side.

It took a moment for him to look at me again.

"Bella. You are everything to me. But dealing with this situation requires a certain amount of ... overcoming ... for me. You want it to be my baby, but ..." Edward began to say.

"No," I hastily cut him short. "I don't want it to be. It is! It's our little miracle together!" I said irritably.

I concentrated on breathing steadily to calm myself.

Edward turned away from me a little. He ran through his hair. He was collecting himself; I could see it on him.

"You asked who I thought the father of your child was when it couldn't be me," he said softly, almost apologetically, leaning against the dresser against the wall.

I just nodded so that I wouldn't get angry again.

"I don't want to accuse you of deceiving me. It is impossible for me to really imagine it.I don't doubt your feelings for me ... But I actually have an answer for that," he whispered.

I felt how uncomfortable he was to say those words. A clear condemnation. The naming of all the guilty parties.

The tension in the air was almost tangible.

I held my breath.

"David," he said a moment later - meaningfully.

I exhaled deeply, which made me a little giddy again.

If it wasn't his complete seriousness, I would probably start laughing. But it was his seriousness.

"Don't you think, if it were so, that you would have heard it in his thoughts?" I asked level-headedly, appealing to his reason.He was a mind reader. One could not keep secrets from him. Except me.

"With lies he knows nevertheless! He hid his son from Sonya for eleven 's more, he was mentally able to keep from me for an entire evening the fact that he has a family at all!" Edward replied, however, snottily and condescendingly.

My peace was gone. I raged.

"What do you think of me? That we'll meet secretly when no one will notice?"

"So far I have thought nothing of the sort," Edward explained very calmly, which actually surprised me. He was concentrated."You used to be in bed with David a lot. Your affection for each other is quite intense, despite Sonya or 've been hiding something from me since he moved into the house. I'm a vampire. And you are expecting a child. So much for the facts!"

And all the facts spoke against me. No matter how ridiculous I thought this opinion was, I had to admit to myself that it was quite a logical conclusion for Edward. We had actually slept together quite often, but that was, I don't know exactly, ten years ago? Twelve years? Since he knew Sonya. After that, our deep friendship remained, which lasted until today. However, Edward knew that I had a secret from him. And it had really started at the exact moment when David had moved here. That was simply because I had helped Esmé renovate and decorate the house and then had nothing more to do. But the secret I could clear up. I had wanted to conceal it from Edward of all people, but this secrecy was nothing and unimportant compared to his denunciation.

"Yes, I have kept something from you. I ..." I wanted to clarify, but Edward wouldn't let me continue.

"Don't tell me, Bella. Everyone has a certain right to a private life. To keep something to themselves, for whatever are willing to give up your secret to resolve this situation. I take it from that it has nothing to do with the two of us," Edward said, looking at me in a prompting, hopeful way.

"No, it doesn't!" I confirmed.

"So continue to keep silent on this subject. Don't tell me until you're ready. No matter how you spend your days off from work, however, it doesn't change the fact that you're pregnant!"

I just nodded.

What else could I do? He was right. My doctoral thesis did not explain why I was going to have a baby.

"I never cheated on you!" I said again emphatically.

"And I don't want to believe anything else!" retorted Edward gently. "But how do you explain that on Sunday morning you were both stripped down to your underwear?David's memories didn't give me any clue about that, and it wasn't the only night you two drank a lot and were alone ...Up until now, I didn't really care, because your friendship was beyond reproach. I thought until now that I actually knew you both well enough to know that you wouldn't betray Sonya and me just like front of Jake, I even justified and defended your deep connection ... But now the things are a little different ...You are expecting a child. And that child just can't be mine! No matter how much you wish for it."

I swallowed dryly.

Was he really right in the end? Could David and I have drunk so much that we had slept together in a drunken stupor without remembering it? I could not actually imagine that. But I could not close my mind to a certain logic. If Edward really couldn't father children, why was I pregnant? I was shocked!

Edward sat down with me on the edge of the bed, looking completely calm.

"Bella. I ask you to release me from my promise!" said Edward suddenly.

My heart contracted painfully, and I gasped frantically for air. Before my heart completely gave up the ghost, he already spoke further and held my face in his hands.

"I love you, Bella ... Not being with you will hurt I need some distance to become clear about this situation. To think about how to go on ...You are carrying someone else's child. With that you have hurt me ...I don't know if I can handle it. I need to think about it!" he whispered softly and gave me a long kiss on my forehead.

His words echoed in my head, and I closed my eyes.

He would go.

When I opened my eyes again, I was already alone.

The happy family I had seen in my mind's eye was destroyed. A single mother! That was me.

I cried myself into a restless dreamless sleep.

Thanks for reading!