The following days were a repetition of sleeping and sex. Uncountable times. We did nothing but that. I couldn't get enough of him and he was finally allowed to do what he wanted all along.

We were laying on the rug in front of the fireplace. My hand rested on his face, caressing everything in reach – his closed eyelids, his cheeks and chin. I scraped my fingers against his coarse beard. His lips, on the contrary, so soft, opened slightly as I touched them. I couldn't keep my hands off him and he felt it.

" Long time without touching a man? "

I pressed my face to his neck. " Too long. Ever since… "

I fell silent. I didn't want to talk about Jeff now but Bodhi knew what I meant to say.

" I bet what you two had was beautiful. But it's over. Wherever he is now, I'm sure he'd like you to be happy. "

" And you're my happiness? "

He smiled lightly and took my hand in his, our fingers twisted together.

" When did you fall for me? " I asked weakly, feeling completely drained after making love with him.

" Straight away, " he answered with his voice quiet. Obviously, he was just as drained. " Why else did you think I tolerated all your caprices, your hesitations, your law-clouded mind? Why did I give you so many possibilities to make up your mind about what you really want? And I wouldn't have sacrificed Life of Water to pull you out of the ocean if you meant nothing to me. "

I laid my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. It never occurred to me. I thought I managed to trick Bodhi but he could always see to the real me. Even when he showed a great deal of patience with me, I never guessed the real reason behind that. I wasn't good enough to be an FBI agent. I was too blind. I propped myself on my elbow to look into his eyes.

" Do you actually mean to continue on the Ozaki 8? "

" Of course. Why? "

" Bodhi, " I realized that I was probably talking for nothing, but decided to give it a try. " Are you sure about that? It's highly dangerous. The fact that you completed the majority of the ordeals might just be pure luck. "

He looked back at me. " Are you saying I'm not professional enough? "

" No, I'm saying that... I'm afraid. "

" Afraid? " Bodhi grinned, revealing his perfectly aligned teeth. " It's strange to hear you talking about fear. "

" Why is that? "

" More balls than talent. Your reputation, Utah. "

I put my head back on his chest. " I'm not afraid about myself. I'm afraid about you. I almost lost my mind when Jeff died. It would be unbearable to lose you too. "

Bodhi played with my hair, curling the blonde strands around his fingers.

" We're all going to die, Johnny. The only question is how. I told you before. "

Later that evening I was sitting at the kitchen table while Bodhi was serving dinner.

" Grommet and Roach will come this weekend, " he said while pouring us wine. " Do you think you're able to continue from where we left? "

" I am, but... I don't think I want to see them. "

" Where's your courage, moto boy? " Bodhi smiled. " Don't worry. No one will harm you, I won't allow it. "

We finished dinner, but these news ruined my appetite. I managed to eat most of my meal, though it wasn't easy. Every bite stuck in my throat and in the end, I wasn't even sure what was it we were eating. I got up, ran the water in the sink and began to wash the dishes. A few seconds later I felt Bodhi's body pressing against my back.

" Can't it wait till the morning? "

" No, " I answered stubbornly. " I don't want to wake up in a pigsty. "

Bodhi slid his hands down my arms, trying to take the kitchen sponge out of my hands. I felt his erection grinding against my butt and swallowed a moan.

" This is one of the last days you treat me like this, right? "

" What do you mean? "

I squeezed the sponge in my fist. " Surely you're not going to do this with Roach and Grommet around. "

He buried his head into the crook of my neck and covered it with small kisses. " No, but I'll find a way to still get close to you. "

He snatched the sponge out of my hands and roughly spun me around. I knew this playful flame in his eyes. That meant he was not going to wait any longer. He pushed everything left on the table to the floor, the tableware jingled loudly as it fell. Before I could check if anything broke, Bodhi pushed me onto the table, his fingers fumbling with the buttons of my shirt impatiently. We made love in the kitchen, the only place in this place where we hadn't done it yet.

As Bodhi promised, Roach and Grommet arrived on Sunday. He went out of the cabin to meet them and I followed him cautiously. They were both carrying large backpacks on their shoulders and looked pretty exhausted, probably because of the long climb. However, the moment they saw me, they recovered instantly.

" What the hell is he doing here? " Grommet snarled, taking a few steps towards me. I could see he was ready to kill me.

" No need to do anything stupid, " Bodhi was by my side. " Johnny knows now which side is he on. "

" Oh does he? Did the FBI kick his ass out or something? " Roach asked with hostility, shaking his backpack off his shoulders. " We have no place for rats, Bodhi. "

" Come on, guys, " Bodhi waved for us to approach. " We've got more serious things to think about. We have to finish what we started, that's what we need to focus on now. We're brothers. We have to keep together. Things like these cannot tear us apart. "

All four of us hugged. Unfortunately, I knew it was too late. Roach and Grommet never spoke ill of me to my face again, but their glares were cutting into me like knives. I knew I could never call them brothers again.

Later that night I was alone in my room. Without Bodhi, my bed was too big and too cold. Now that Roach and Grommet were here, we couldn't sleep together anymore, so Bodhi rested on the sofa next to the fireplace. The more I thought about it, the more frustrated I got. I wanted them gone. Our relationship was damaged beyond repair. There were things they just didn't forgive and their presence denied me Bodhi's attention.

After sleeping for a while I was awoken by voices not far away from my door. I sat up in my bed and listened.

" You're not serious about this, are you? "

" I told you to calm down. "

" What do you mean – calm down? He's a damn cop, Bodhi! He almost got all of us in the clink! He lied to us! He only pretended to be on the same path as we are! "

" He is on the same path as we. Haven't you seen it? He never was a real FBI agent. "

" So you want to take the risk? To hope that his brain is in the right place now? We have too much to lose, we should just put a bullet in his head! "

" Never say anything like that again, do you hear me? "

" What is going on with you, Bodhi? I don't know you anymore! Before he came, you were ready to get rid of anything standing between us and the Ozaki 8. He betrayed our loyalty. Why do you defend him so much? "

" Listen to me, brother. Don't make me choose between you and him because it'll be him. You've got your way figured out. He hasn't yet and I'm going to help him. "

The two talkers were Bodhi and Grommet. I wondered whether or not Grommet will suspect anything about my relationship with Bodhi. They hated me and wanted me out of their circle as fast as possible. Though Grommet and Roach were never too dear to me, I could understand them. They were afraid that my being here with them is another undercover FBI case and they might not be so lucky this time.

I wished I could prove them wrong. I thought about continuing on the Ozaki 8 with them. It won't bring any satisfaction if I'll have to tolerate their rage. I felt like a small child hiding behind Bodhi's back. Even he couldn't be with me at all times. They were patient and knew how to wait. For some reason, I was sure I needed to prepare myself for their revenge.