Falling into the Undead

Chapter Eleven

Not Blood

Here's another chapter!

I would like to proudly state that I am writing the last chapter of this story before I move on to season two!

The story is finally starting to figure itself out and I'm just now here for the ride as I put it into words for you guys to read.

Please enjoy!

You can drive all night

looking for the answers in the

pouring rain

You wanna find peace of mind

Looking for the answer

-Cigarette Daydreams by Cage the Elephant

The morning light was bright as it filtered through the open door. Shane had poked his head out, carefully surveying the area for any signs of Walkers, at the first sign of daylight. Remington was certain none of the adults had managed to catch a wink of sleep all night. Her eyes felt like something had been scratching at them. She had hunkered in a corner of the cellar by herself, not wishing to be around the others, not while the guilt clawed at her and caused her stomach to turn. Both Shane and Rick had tried to speak to her at one point but had quickly given her space after she hadn't responded back.

Now, Remington found herself shuffling through the bags inside the cellar. With the light filtering through the doorway, she was able to see that the man who had lived here was indeed a prepper but had gone through a lot of his stuff before disappearing.

There was enough that they couldn't just leave it behind. It didn't matter if Morgan decided not to travel with them, and they had to split it because the amount was the difference between having an extra day and not. She was certain the others would think the same way as she did.

Glancing over she caught the eye of Morgan, the man stared at her for a good long while, where Duane seemed to glance quickly away. It didn't make her feel any better. The shaking in her hands came back and didn't disappear after Morgan moved away to speak to Rick. She took a shuddering breath before moving to try to condense the worthless objects from the ones they needed.

Her skin itched as she tried to move fast as the men talked. They were supposed to have been back yesterday but had stayed overnight, she was certain the others would grow worried, and she didn't want to think about her children. Maisie had probably started to cry. She hated to spend the night anywhere away from her. Never had to before. Landon would probably be all right, but he'd be worried. Her main concern was she hadn't made plans with anyone for an overnight stay. That hadn't been a part of the plan and was supposed to never happen, but it had, and they didn't have anyone to stay with.

She had nothing against Carol, but her husband, she didn't want either kid anywhere near him, especially at night. Her skin crawled at the mere image. She had begun to feel the panic tightening around her, wondering if they were hurt, what had happened, and if they stayed with Carol. She should trust the woman to figure it out, but she had been like Carol at one point. She knew the grip Ed had on her. How she would follow, without thinking, or pushing because it was easier. Remington couldn't see herself endangering someone else's kids, but for a little while, hadn't she technically endangered Maisie? He had never touched their kid and hadn't wished to harm Maisie, but that could have changed. Wasn't that the push Remington had needed to leave him?

She didn't want to risk it. Hadn't wanted to. Fate had other plans entirely.

The zipper of the bag refused to cooperate while her hands shook. She tried, over and over, but couldn't get her mind to stop racing. A hand came down, covering her own, knocking hers away to zip the bag, as her eyes jerked up to meet Shane's. Remington averted her gaze, awkward after needing to be calmed the day before, and wasn't sure what he thought about her. She hadn't wanted to come off as weak. She was also uncertain why he cared enough to be comforting at all. That wasn't the personality she had gotten from him on the show.

Remington wondered if she had changed something, or if Shane had always been like this before the craziness of the Lori situation happened.

She didn't mind it much. It helped toward her plan but could only hope that it would stay this way. She wasn't sure how she would feel if he decided to go off the deep end.

"Something you need?" she asked, not feeling up for conversation still. He tsked, pulling his hand away, as he nodded for her to follow him. They moved further into the cellar, away from the opening where Morgan and Rick were. She bit her lip as she came to a stop, leaning against the dirt wall, and glanced up at him. He was pacing, only a half-step before turning on his heel, and repeating.

"You killed that little boys' mom," he started, it caused her stomach to clench as she tightened her grip on the bag she had taken. "Hold up, don't get upset, I'm not callin' yah out on anything. I agree with what yah did. He would have died otherwise. It was a good call. I want you to know that."

"That shot got us locked up in here overnight." She was just looking for something to get blamed for. Didn't like that she might get away with it Scott-free. The

"You never would have made it to him otherwise. We survived. I'm not saying it was smart, or that it should have happened at all, but it's not your fault. Quit blaming yourself. It could have happened to either one of us. Next time, just don't let the kid get so far away."

She was feeling properly chastised. It almost made her feel better having him point out what she had done wrong and then be told it was okay.

"You think they hate me?" Shane scoffed, shaking his head, as his eyes glanced back over toward the opening of the cellar.

"Personally, I wouldn't care either way. You saved his boy's life. That Walker was not his mother. Simple as that. I would be praising yah right about now."

"Still. He witnessed his mom being shot right in front of him. It's got to be traumatizing."

"It's the way the world works now. Everyone needs to start thinking about it differently. There are going to be fucked up things happening. You deal with it and move on."

She wasn't sure if she liked the way his view was, but Remington knew that they held a bit of truth, harsh, but a truth.

"You good?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Good, because we're moving out once we see how bad the way back is. Grab what you can." Shane reached over, grabbing the heavy pack, the biggest out of the lot, right off her shoulder. "You're not so bad, Solace. Keep it up."

Not certain what he meant by that but feeling like maybe this trip wasn't a complete waste on Shane's side of things, she followed him out, grabbing the other two packs as she went.

"Morgan said he'll join us," Rick said, as they stepped from the cellar. "The way looks pretty clear. A few Walkers, we should be able to just avoid them, and get back to the cars."

Maybe it also wasn't a complete failure on the Jones side of things as well.

․° °․

The morning brought on a fresh outlook for the little girl. She had quit crying during the night, passed out cuddling into Landon, and Merle had been forced to carry her into her tent. He felt uncomfortable leaving them alone in the tent by themselves, knew if Remington found out she'd find him and rip him a new one, but knew that it wasn't right. What if the small one got scared in the middle of the night, left the tent, and instead of coming to get him, wandered off somewhere? He hadn't felt comfortable enough to join them in there either.

Instead of risking it, he had pulled a chair over to sit in front of the tent. He snoozed off and on, but barely slept most of the night.

He barely felt it the next morning, was used to it, and had gone longer without sleep in the past.

He had pulled out his gun, cleaning it, like he did every once and a while. Landon had wandered over toward Carl. Merle was more than happy to let Carol take over childcare. That push he had that caused him to take them in had disappeared with the morning light. Only the girl didn't seem to get the memo.

She walked up to him, dog at her heels, blinking curiously, down at the gun in his hand.

"Do you know how to shoot it?" Her chin jutted out, indicating the gun as if he could have missed what she was talking about.

"What's it ta yah?"

"Could I learn?"

The surprise that flooded his body only caused him to pause for a moment. Then Merle was shaking his head huffing out a word of disbelief as he turned to face the girl.

"Yah want ta learn?" Maisie nodded enthusiastically.

"Momma lets Landon use his machete. I wanna shoot." Her little eyes narrowed in determination, her hip cocking, as her lips turned down. She was the perfect picture of resolve. Merle wasn't sure if he was supposed to take her seriously or not.

"Forget it kid. Yah momma would have my balls if she knew I let yah touch a gun."

"Momma knows I need to learn to defend myself."

"Yah let yer momma decide how ta do that."

"Pwease! I need ta learn!" She stomped her little foot. "To protect myself. And Momma. And Landon. And you!"

Merle froze at the mention of himself.

"And lots of others!"

He had never been told there was someone out there that wanted to protect him. He ignored the fact that Remington's warning could have been considered the same thing. Then there was this little thing saying the words no one had dared utter before. He wasn't sure how that made him feel, but Merle found himself turning the gun over, switching the safety on. He grabbed her hand, placed the gun in her hands, and let go. It was heavy. It caused her hands to dip down before she readjusted the grip.

"Yah first need ta learn how ta hold a gun. Yah too little ta be firing anything. It'll knock yah off yer feet." He motioned for her to follow. He could feel the eyes of Carol on his back, but she didn't call for Maisie to get away, just left them to it. The little girl carried the gun the whole way. The gun felt awkward, big, in her hands. Merle reached over, pointing the nose of the gun at the ground, adding on a quick why. If he was going to teach the kid, he would teach her right, didn't want her to accidentally shoot herself, or someone else. It would reflect badly on his teachings.

Once they were a little way into the trees, away from the judging eyes, Merle just knew this would get back to Remington, he decided he didn't care. He instructed her on how to hold it. Forced her to hold it still, in front of her, at eye level, for minutes at a time. Her arms shook but she didn't complain.

"I remembered something!" Maisie exclaimed as she concentrated on the shaking gun in front of her. "Why you look so weird." She spun around, the gun wavering, as she faced him. Merle frowned, pushing the gun toward the ground, as he grumbled out a reminder about where to point the gun. "Oh yeah! Sorry!"

"I don't look weird," he said, rolling his eyes as he allowed her to lower the gun toward the ground as her arms started to noticeably shake.

"You do! I remembered it last night. I dreamed you were missing a hand. You've still got it. It's just silly cause I saw you without it." Merle couldn't help the way he froze at the kid's words. They reminded him of the warning that her mother had given him the day before.

"Yah mother tell you to say that?"

"Silly. No. I just seen it." Merle jutted his chin out, silently telling her to lift the gun once again. Maybe, the daughter had something weird going on like her mother. They both saw weird shit. "I hope that doesn't happen to you. I like you like this. You're nice."

Merle didn't care what Remington would say about this. It didn't matter that the crazy gene seemed to be prominent in their bloodline.

It wasn't his kid, shouldn't be his decision, but the girl wanted to know. And fuck if Merle wouldn't teach the kid how to protect herself.

Probably said something about the nagging sensation in his chest, the one that told him to protect, but that wasn't the Dixon way.

She wasn't blood.

Except that started to feel less like a reason not to do anything.

․° °․

On the way back Remington rode with Shane once more, Pixel in the back, among the water, and the bags they had taken with that first day. Rick drove the police car behind them, Morgan and Duane with him, and the rest of the bags they had collected at the cellar, and what little the Jones had left. Neither spoke to Remington before they split into different cars. Remington had wanted to talk with Rick, get to know the man, and get a feeling for his personality. She could hardly remember what this Rick was supposed to be like. She was used to the one from the future, and if she wanted to become friends with him as well, it would be needed.

Except she couldn't face Morgan or his son.

She had taken the easy way out. Sat with Shane, neither speaking much to one another, but it wasn't an awkward silence, so Remington let it be.

Now that they were on their way, there was nothing to do but think, and Remington found herself anxious to get back to camp. She had fucked up the timeline. There was no way to know when, or if, Merle would get trapped up on that roof, nor when that herd would tear through camp. It could have happened last night, or yesterday while they were gone, and she wouldn't have been the wiser.

She had placed far too much responsibility on her own shoulders, and it had begun to weigh her down.

"Do you think everything is fine back at camp?" she asked, breaking the silence.

"Probably no worse for wear," Shane replied. There had been no hesitation in his voice. "Camp is safe. No reason to worry. I'm sure those kids of yours are fine. Carol's nice, would have taken care of them." Remington nodded, wanting to believe his words, but she knew more than he did. Instead of dwelling on it, she focused on the stretch of the road flying by them.

"I'm sure your right."

"I got a question of my own if yah don't mind."

"Course. You've been answering all of mine."

"What's between you and the Dixons? Yah know them or something? From before?" Remington blinked, feeling confused at first until she realized why he would be asking. No one in the group got close to a Dixon until after Merle had disappeared and Daryl had started to help the group find Sophia, and he had etched himself a place among them.

She was an anomaly.

"I knew of them," she said, deciding to speak the truth. She knew of a lot of people before all of this. "Their reputation, and names."

"How did you end up getting close to them? Merle's a dick, and a racist asshole." Remington frowned at his choice of words. She sent him a disapproving glare.

"Don't be an ass yourself. Merle helped my kids when I couldn't. He can be a dick, as you put it, but there's more to him than that. I've noticed that, and all I had to do was give him a chance. I owe him. If that means all I do is lend him a hand from time to time then so be it."

"You're close to him. Closer than to the other one."

"Well, I talk to him more. Daryl keeps to himself. Doesn't like to talk to me much at least. That, and Merle's a bit of a talker, can't get him to stop once he starts."

"Hm," Shane said, nodding. "He's shown himself to be chatty. Like's to tell stories. The other is an idiot for not trying to talk to yah."

Remington wasn't sure what he meant by that last part and decided to just let it be.

"You don't think the stories he tells are true?"

Shane scoffed. He seemed to like to discredit Merle whenever he could. The animosity between the two was thick, and Remington wondered if this would become a problem in the future. She knew Merle had a temper on him, especially when he was high, something Remington hoped he would give up with time, and Shane had a temper as well. His was cooler, and didn't rise as fast, but it was swift and could hit out of nowhere when he had been pushed too far. They were ticking time bombs near one another.

"Wouldn't put much on the word of Merle Dixon. Yah shouldn't believe him so easily either." He turned to give her a penetrating stare, one that spoke volumes, before facing the road. "I'd say it's in your best interest to believe that Merle Dixon will fail yah at some point. Just don't let it be during a life-threatening event. Got it."

It showed that Shane had started to see her in a different light. What they went through together in the last twenty-four hours had proved something to the man. Remington could only assume by the way he had decided to start looking after her that it was a step in the right direction. She felt as if she had gained a stronger footing with him and felt lighter at the thought of his future having a real possibility of getting better.

As long as she didn't ruin everything with what was about to spill from her lips.

She really needed to learn when to shut her mouth and not stick her foot in business that wasn't hers.

"Are you and Rick, good?" She bit her lip after the words slipped through. Remington wouldn't be able to lie and say she meant in terms of Shane thinking he was dead, of leaving him behind out of fear, even if he had tried to protect him. It was a part of it, sure, but Remington had meant it in the terms of what happened after with Lori. She wasn't supposed to know the first part, only knew what Lori had told her, and that didn't include the scenes that flashed across her memory in the form of a television screen.

Shane stiffened at her words. Expected. Remington felt like crap.

"What yah mean by that?"

"It wasn't obvious or anything, to the others I mean, I just happened to accidentally stumble across you guys one day." This wasn't a lie. Remington had indeed stumbled across them, not in the throws of passion, but definitely leading up to the act. She had been mortified and had run off quite quickly before she could see anything else.

Shane had become quiet. Uncomfortably so, as Remington waited for him to reply, hoping this hadn't just ruined any of the ground she managed to cover.

"Are yah going to tell him?"

She blinked, surprised to not hear any anger, no threats, just deep-rooted tiredness as if he was just accepting his fate. She shook her head.

"No. I didn't plan on saying anything. Feels like business between the three of you. No reason for me to involve myself." She hesitated here because she had technically just involved herself. Twisting slightly in her seat she made it so she could look directly at Shane. "Look I really shouldn't have said anything. I get it, it's the end of the world, things were complicated, and still are, and neither of you is going to want to have more stress or drama in the situation. It's just, eventually, it might come out, by something being said, or done, and it'll only make things worse. You both thought he was dead. You took comfort where you could. Not saying it was right, but it's not something that damning either. Own up to it. If Rick is truly your friend eventually things will end up smoothing over. It'll take time, sure, and trust will have to be regained, but it doesn't have to be the end of your friendship."

They sat in silence for several long moments. She could see Shane thinking over her words, couldn't make out if he was angered, or not by the look on his face. It was carefully blank. The only thing giving him away was the way he drummed his fingers against the steering wheel.

"Why do you care enough to even say that? Yah could have just pretended yah never saw anything, and not said a damn word."

It was Remington's turn to fidget in her seat.

"I'm not sure if we're friends or something, but after yesterday, you gave me comfort when I needed it, and well, I'd like to think of you as a friend. I'm shit at keeping out of my friend's business and tend to put my foot where my mouth is, but I can't help but want to help people. It's just my advice. You don't have to take it."

"Is that how you really feel? Bout the stuff you said before, not the friend shit." Remington wanted to scoff, it felt like he had just brushed off her comment about being friends, but the way his face looked told her he meant no offense, just wanted her honest opinion on what to do about his best friend.

"Yeah, it's what I would do. If I slept with my best friend's wife I don't think I could keep it from him. The guilt I'd feel would eat me up alive." She tried to open her mouth, to ask how he felt about Lori, wanted to know but wasn't sure if he'd tolerate it. He was tolerating a lot right now.

"Even if it could possibly ruin their marriage? Yah would still do that."

"Your situation isn't exactly your run-of-the-mill cheating story. Rick, for all intents and purposes, was dead. How anyone could believe otherwise was pretty impossible. The fact that he's not is a miracle, Shane. I would have waited longer to jump into bed, that part doesn't look very good on the both of you, but you're surrounded by the dead trying to eat you. I'd say the stress, fear, and the belief that you may not live another day, is a good enough reason to seek comfort anywhere you could. Not ideal, but it doesn't make you out to be a complete shit person."

She watched as Shane pondered over everything she had just laid on him. She had expected him to go off, to get angry, threaten her to keep her mouth shut, but there wasn't any of that. It gave her hope.

"Yeah, all right, I got a bit to think about I supposed."

"Can I ask a question? It's not exactly sensitive." Shane turned to stare at her, his face reading how he felt they were past that point already.

"Darling, you have not said one damn thing in the last hour that was sensitive. Supposed we're friends now. You know my secret and all, regardless of whether I take your advice or not, got to mean something."

"How do you feel about Lori?"

She was going to hell or getting abandoned on the side of the road, she just could not keep her mouth shut. It was a miracle that Shane was even allowing her to still be sitting here with him, and kind, of sort of, calling her a friend.

He let out a loud breath. His nostrils flaring, but not in anger, but rather in a sort of grief. It's not what she had imagined. From the show, she knew he had gotten obsessive, dangerously so, but this was not the actions of a man crazily in love.

"Not sure. She's my best friend's wife. I've known her for years. Respected her. I'm not sure if I reached out, wanting comfort, and took it from the one familiar face around me or not. All I know is it's fucked up what I, no we, did. Not sure how I'm going to look her in the face once Rick's back at camp. How I'll look him in the face. I just don't know."

That wasn't the answer she expected at all.

Reaching out Remington covered the hand closest to hers with her own. She squeezed it lightly before patting it and taking her hand back.

Had events changed already, or was there always something inside of Shane that could have been saved? Remington wasn't sure, would never know, but didn't care. Just as determination had filled her on the inside to save Merle, she would do her damn best to do the same for Shane, as well.

After all, they were friends now.

I really liked Shane in this. He took over a bit, but I feel like he needs someone to help him out with the mess that resides inside his head.

What do you think? Did Merle do the right thing? Is Remington gonna get upset? Or could it possibly have repercussions that he hadn't thought about?

Reviews:

Guest: Yes, this will continue to season 11. I would love to show the whole series and the changes and effects that Remington has on everything. Sorry, about not replying sooner. I completely forgot to add this bit at the end.