Lan and Siuan have a little talk.

It was in the middle of the night, but Lan was still awake. After Moiraine had finished not only her cup and the plate but had asked for a second cup of tea, he had kept his promise.

While Moiraine had gotten undressed to put on her nightgown, he had done the same but had left his undergarment on. Once he had laid comfortably under the sheets, Moiraine had snuggled up to him, her head laying on his chest right above his heart, while her hand laid on his stomach.

Lan had asked her if she would want to talk about what had happened with Siuan, but his Aes Sedai had refused. She hadn't been ready for it.

The Warder was still surprised at how quickly she had fallen asleep, which had been hours ago. Since then, he was awake, watching her in her sleep, while his fingers played with a strand of her locks. His Aes Sedai, who was broken. He had to be very careful around her.

Suddenly, Moiraine's door opened, and Lan reacted instinctively. His left hand pressed Moiraine's head gently against his chest, while the other one grabbed the dagger, which he had hidden under the pillow. He would protect her from anyone, who dared to enter her room without… The Warder sighed heavily when he recognized Siuan.

The Amyrlin only wore a simple nightgown and her curly hair fell freely down her back. When she saw the dagger in Lan's hands, she raised her hands to show him that she was unarmed.

While Lan hid the dagger again, the woman from Tear closed the door and sealed the room with the One Power before she moved to the bed.

"I didn't mean to startle you.", she apologized to Lan whispering "I simply wanted to check on her. How is she?"

"Asleep."

Siuan threw an annoyed glance at him. "I can see that. Were you able to calm her?"

He nodded, then they watched the sleeping woman in silence. From the corner of his eye, Lan saw how Siuan nervously played with her fingers. She wanted to touch her pillow friend but wasn't sure how Lan would react.

"Do you want to lie down?", Lan asked.

Siuan's eyes found his and she bit her lip. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"She would like it."

Again, the Amyrlin hesitated. She searched in Lan's eyes for hints, which would tell her how he was really feeling about her relationship with his Aes Sedai. But his eyes were calm and didn't tell her anything. "You don't mind?"

This time, the Warder shook his head softly. Relieved, Siuan crawled over the bed. Just for a few minutes, and then she would return to her room.

"I suggest you move under the blankets. The nights in the Borderlands are cold for the people of the south."

"I won't stay long."

"Moiraine would kill me if I let you freeze."

She thought about protesting, but this stubborn man was right. It was cold in the Borderlands. So, she carefully moved under the blankets until she was lying right behind Moiraine. Like Lan, she took a strand of Moiraine's locks between her fingers and played with it. The Amyrlin remembered how she had touched her hair the last time. They had met in their secret hut and Siuan had wished that the night would never end. There were no responsibilities in this hut. Just a woman from Tear and a woman from Cairhien loving each other. No titles, no one who could judge them.

"Tomorrow I will declare that her exile will be rescinded."

Lan raised an eyebrow. "Is that wise? The Blues will order her back to the tower."

"You need to return to the tower, Lan. She has lost her powers, and we need to figure out if it is permanent or if there's a way to lift it."

"And you can't do it here?"

Siuan sighed. "I told our sisters that Moiraine has lost her connection to the One Power. She was barely able to tell me. I didn't want her to have a second breakdown in front of our sisters. We have Aes Sedai of the Brown Ajah with us, who are very interested in studying her and you."

The Warder grimaced. The mere thought of Aes Sedai treating him like a science project made him shiver.

Siuan saw his reaction and smiled. "This sounds terrible, I know. But we can't help her if we don't know what's wrong with her. Or don't you want to find a way to help her?"

"Of course, I want her to get her powers back, so she can unmask our bond. But I don't like it to be analyzed by Aes Sedai."

"I hear you."

Moiraine mumbled something in her sleep, and immediately, Lan and Siuan turned silent. Both wondered if the woman of the Blue Ajah would wake up, but after a moment, she was quiet again and peacefully sleeping.

Relieved, the Amyrlin released her breath, which she had held without notice. Her eyes moved over Moiraine's body. She noticed how close her pillow friend was snuggled up against her Warder. How peaceful her face looked, but more importantly, she saw Moiraine's hand on Lan's bare skin. Moiraine had promised her that she and Lan had never been romantically involved, but a part of her had always wondered if Moiraine just hadn't seen it in a romantic way. Maybe, they both had had some needs, which they hadn't been able to control anymore, and then…

"What is it?"

Lan's whispered question surprised her. Light, usually she was better at keeping her emotions at bay. "My thoughts are spinning."

"About something you don't like?"

Light, how was she supposed to explain this? "Did you know that I hated you at first?"

Surprised, the Warder raised one of his eyebrows. Apparently, he hadn't known. "Do you remember the day Moiraine followed you and asked you to become her Warder?"

"Of course, I remember."

"She had left me in Chachin, and when you two had returned to the palace, she had told me about her new Warder…"

Moiraine entered her apartment. She had some packing to do. Lan was waiting at the stables, preparing everything for their journey.

"Is everything settled?"

Moiraine gasped when she saw Siuan, who was packing her last saddle bag. The woman of Cairhien had been lost in her thoughts, already making plans about where to go next.

"You are still here."

"Well, for someone like me the people need some time to get me what I need for my ride back to Tar Valon. But I'm sure if Lady Moiraine Damodred asks them for help, they will be quicker."

"I'm sorry. Is there something you need? I can tell them…"

But Siuan waved her hand at her pillow friend. "Don't bother. I already have everything now. And to be honest, I don't mind that they took so long to get everything. This way, I'm able to say goodbye before I leave. Were you able to talk to this Lan?"

"Yes, I found him."

Moiraine went to her bedroom and grabbed a few saddle bags. She didn't want Lan to wait too long.

Siuan followed her and watched how she stuffed dresses, and books, and light knew what else, into the bags. But no word came over Moiraine's lips about what had been so important that she had chased after this Malkieri. "So, could he help you with your unfinished business?"

"What are you… OW!"

Cursing, Moiraine sucked at her bleeding finger. In her haste, she hadn't seen the dagger, which had been hidden between her clothes. Maybe, she should take things a little bit slower.

Surprised, she noticed how worry washed over her, but this feeling wasn't coming from her. It was Lan, who must have felt her pain and didn't know what had hurt her. When he was able to send her his worries, could she calm him through the bond?

Curious, Moiraine concentrated on her bond with the Malkieri. She blocked out her pain and tried to send him her assurance that she wasn't in danger. It seemed to work since his worries slowly faded from her mind. Well, that was interesting.

"Moiraine! What is going on?! Could you please stop grinning like a… Blood and ashes! You bonded him!"

Moiraine's eyes widened in surprise. "How do you know?"

"Are you kidding me? That was your unfinished business with him? To bond this coldhearted lionfish?"

"He proved that he isn't a Darkfriend, Siuan. And he is an amazing fighter."

"There are hundreds like him at the White Tower. Why him?"

Moiraine sighed. Siuan didn't understand. She couldn't understand it. Unlike Moiraine, she hadn't traveled with the man.

"He is the right one for me. Why are you so upset? We'd talked about bonding a Warder."

"I know that we talked about it, but I'd assumed that you would talk to me first before you actually… Burn me, you nearly skinned me for kissing Cal, but expect from me that I accept a man as your Warder, who I've never met before?"

"He is a good man and he will protect me."

Siuan growled. "He better does. Because if anything happens to you, I will find him and make sure that he will regret the day that he was born."

"She had no experience with men, and I had been scared that she hadn't thought about it enough."

Lan chuckled silently. Moiraine had never told him that Siuan had threatened to kill him if she would get hurt. "I'm surprised that I'm still alive. Why didn't you say anything after her first injury?"

"Because I found out years after it had happened. And when you visited the White Tower for the first time, you two had been in a fight with a group of Trollocs. The blade of a Trolloc had left a cut on your arm, and the poison was slowly killing you. Moiraine was exhausted from using the One Power against your opponents and was too weak to heal you. When you arrived, you fell from your horse, and Moiraine begged our yellow sisters under tears to save your life before she lost consciousness. After that, I couldn't kill you. You already had a place in her heart by then, if I liked it or not."

A silent groan escaped Moiraine's lips, and she furrowed her forehead as if something was bugging her. Gently, Lan moved his free hand up and down her arm until she relaxed again.

"Well, I'm glad you decided not to kill me. I have this feeling that Moiraine shielded me from you without telling me. Is there more I should know about?"

Siuan thought about her next words. "I guess as much as I wanted to kill you, I also envied you."

"Me? Why is that?"

"Because you were allowed to spend so much time with her, while I was stuck in the White Tower."

"I always thought you two had agreed to this arrangement."

"We did, and it was the best solution to keep searching for the Dragon Reborn. I still don't like to ride on a horse, while Moiraine isn't made for playing politics. But I can't say that I didn't wish sometimes to be with her. You two were gone so often, and sometimes I wondered if I would ever see her again."

"She had missed you.", Lan said softly, and tears built up in Siuan's eyes.

"How do you know?"

"I'm her Warder, remember? I can feel what she feels. And often I had felt how much she had wanted to return to the White Tower. Return to you."

A single tear rolled down Siuan's cheek. "Thank you.", she said with a raspy voice.

Lan closed his eyes and buried his nose in Moiraine's hair. This way, he wanted to give Siuan a moment to regain her composure without feeling watched by him.

"I'm glad that she found you."

Surprised, Lan lifted his head and raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you just admit that you wanted to kill me?"

Siuan rolled her eyes. "I'm a woman, Lan. I can both hate and love you."

The Warder mumbled something that sounded dangerously like an insult, which earned him an evil eye from Siuan, but then her gaze softened. "No matter how much I hated you, I couldn't ignore the fact that you kept her safe. Without you, she would have been killed by a Whitecloak, a Trolloc, or probably would've starved herself to death."

"She saved my life just as often as I saved hers."

"Have you ever regretted it? That you bonded yourself to her?"

"Never." Siuan smiled when Lan's answer came immediately and even sounded a little bit indignantly. "Are you sure? Moiraine once told me that you hated Aes Sedai before you met her."

A growl escaped Lan's lips and he stared angrily at the Amyrlin, but then he admitted: "Yes, I hated Aes Sedai before I met Moiraine. Sometimes, I still don't agree with what you're doing. But Moiraine is different. She showed me that I had been wrong about many things. But I've never regretted that I'd bonded myself to her. Never."

Siuan nodded, then she sighed tiredly. "Good. That's what I wanted to hear." She pushed herself into an upright position, then she looked at Lan. "She loves you, Lan, and she would do anything for you. Anything to protect you."

"The feeling is mutual."

"She needs you now more than ever. Without being able to channel and without your bond…" Siuan was afraid. Afraid of what could happen to her lover if she wouldn't have the strong Warder by her side. Afraid of what Moiraine could do to herself.

Lan understood Siuan's fear since he was also afraid. He had seen Logain after the Aes Sedai had gentled him. Logain even had tried to kill himself a few times before they had tied him up. He didn't want this for Moiraine. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Good."

Carefully, the Amyrlin left the bed. "Where are you going?"

"I've stayed longer than I'd intended. I need to return to my room before anyone notices that I'm gone."

"And they will search for you in the middle of the night?" Lan sounded skeptical.

Siuan chuckled quietly. "Luckily, my Daughters don't interrupt my sleep."

"This means that you're safe until the morning."

"We can't risk that anyone sees how I'm leaving this room."

"I could wake you before the sun rises."

Siuan hesitated. If the other sisters would find out that she and Moiraine had tricked them to hide their relationship… not even Leane would be able to save her. But… Slowly, the Amyrlin turned back to the bed, her eyes moving over Moiraine's sleeping body. Light, she really wanted to stay.

"What about you? When will you sleep?"

"I will stay awake until the sun rises."

Could she really ask of him to stay awake just to wake her in time? He was Moiraine's Warder. He only followed her orders. But he seemed to care about what was good for her, apparently.

Very slowly, the woman from Tear returned to the bed, still hesitating. "And you wouldn't mind?"

"Siuan, do you really think I would offer you to stay if I'd have a problem with you sleeping in the same bed as we do?"

It had been a stupid question, and she knew it, but she needed to be sure. She needed him to say the words that he didn't mind. That he would do anything to keep their little secret. Not every man would accept a relationship between two women and would be fine to share a bed with them. "Before the sun rises?"

"I swear that I will wake you."

Finally, Siuan gave up. She crawled back under the sheets and sighed relieved when she placed her head on the pillow. She had snuggled up to Moiraine. "Thank you.", she whispered.

"You're welcome, Mother."

"Don't call me that.", Siuan answered, while she was already drifting off to sleep. She was tired, and being around Moiraine and Lan helped her to relax.

Lan smiled when Siuan placed her arm protectively around Moiraine's waist. His Aes Sedai seemed to feel the other woman's presence, though she didn't wake up. She started to mumble again, which ended with sighing one name.

"Siuan."

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The next chapter will be uploaded on Sunday.