A/N: Hey guys. Sorry about disappearing again. I'm not here to make excuses, but I have been going through a lot again. But then in today's world, who isn't, right? Anyway, this chapter and the next one are being released back to back tonight and tomorrow. So, hopefully that makes up for the long absence. That said thanks to Fox Teen, Puppies and Nightlock, and Guest for the great reviews on the last chapter. On with the chapter, ladies and gents!
Disclaimer: I do not own Sing or any of the characters, Illumination does.
...
Johnny sighed tiredly but contentedly as his father read the last lines of the book in his hands.
"Alright then, time for bed," Marcus chuckled, tucking his infant into bed more snugly.
After making sure that the blankets over Johnny, as well as those making up the nest around him, were all in place, he leaned down and pressed his forehead against that of his son.
"G'night, Son," he muttered.
"G'night, Dad," Johnny replied before yawning and closing his eyes. "You'll stay til I fall asleep, yeah?"
"Yeah, 'course I will," his father answered with a smile.
Johnny smiled before nestling deeper into his blankets.
As he watched his son pass from the waking world and into the land of dreams, Marcus could feel the sickening grip of guilt once more tugging at him.
Marcus had never had the kind of upbringing that he and Megan had taken care to ensure Johnny had; his own parents were, impossible as it seemed, even more detached from their nature as gorillas than Megan's parents seemed to be. His father had never once taken a true interest in the three lives that he and his wife had brought into being. About the only good thing the man had done was teach his sons about cars.
With a quiet grunt, Marcus forced the memories from his mind. He was a real gorilla, not like that thing that had been anything but a father.
So then why did he still feel this way?
In that moment, the silverback felt sick…
His own father had never shown him the affection their species were bound by their nature to show their offspring. Not to him, nor to his brothers. And yet despite that, Marcus himself had learned, with Megan's guidance, to express what he himself had never had, to the child they had together.
But now that knowledge only made his guilt even heavier. He was even worse than his father; that man had never expressed affection for his children, so it didn't hurt as much when they didn't have it. Not like it had hurt Johnny to know it only to lose it when his mother died, and his father barely acknowledged him.
What would Megan have thought if she'd seen how Marcus had only given Johnny the bare minimum of comfort before leaving him to face his grief alone for several days? Johnny was only four years old! As a gorilla, that meant he was still barely more than a baby…and he'd been forced to carry all of that alone…
As Marcus stared down at the serene face of his sleeping child, he could feel the shame welling up inside him.
His boisterous nature seemed to cause him to feel, and sometimes express, his emotions a bit more openly and he never let that bother him. After all, if someone had a problem with him, they were welcome to say it to his face.
But in this moment, that only increased his remorse for his treatment of his son. Treatment the child still bore no ill will towards him over, even though he had every right to be upset.
No doubt about it, just like his mother, the wife Marcus would never stop missing, Johnny was just too good.
"I'm sorry, Megan," Marcus whispered, looking upwards and hoping the moisture forming in his eyes would go back into his head. But to no avail. "I really am the worst father alive."
"Da…?"
Marcus inhaled sharply as Johnny's eyes opened halfway, the dark brown irises foggy from being drawn back into consciousness far sooner than they should have been.
"Wha's goin' on?" the four-year-old yawned, rubbing one eye sleepily.
"N-nothin'-" his father insisted, a bit too quickly.
"Dad don't lie to me," Johnny looked sad. "What'd you mean you're the worst father ever?"
Marcus didn't answer.
He should've guessed Johnny heard him.
He could have kicked himself when he looked down and saw that Johnny's eyes were now filled with what could only be further sadness.
Why couldn't he stop doing this to his son?!
Before he could say another word, he felt Johnny throw his tiny arms around his neck.
"Daddy…" the child muttered into the side of his neck. "You're not the worst. Far from it."
Marcus didn't know what to say.
"You're a good dad…" Johnny continued. "An' I love you. Just like I know you love me."
"You know I do," Marcus actually smiled. "Always 'ave. Always will. An' I'm sorry."
"I know," Johnny sighed. "I already forgave you a long time ago, remember?"
The older gorilla snorted at that. He should have known that a little over a week would feel like a 'long time' to such a young kid.
Reaching forward, Marcus grabbed Johnny by the shoulders and pulled him close. Wrapping his arms around his son he held tightly, in an attempt to smother the lingering sadness away. In response, the infant wrapped his arms around his father and held tightly to him.
For a moment, time seemed to come to a stop as the pair stayed like that.
Finally, as they separated, Marcus nudged Johnny back toward his blankets.
"Right then. It's past your bedtime and you got school in the mornin'. Best you be off to sleep now."
Johnny nodded and rolled onto his side, curled into a ball, and closed his eyes.
A smile climbed the toddler's lips as his father's massive hand began to gently rub his back.
A soft chuckle from his father was the last thing Johnny heard before he once again drifted off into the sanctuary of sleep.
…
Olivia couldn't help but smile as Johnny squealed with laughter as he rolled about on the living room floor with his father.
Every now and again, the pair would growl or bare their canines at each other, but she knew it was all part of the playing. She had seen it numerous times during Johnny's life.
"It's a gorilla thing," Megan had laughed one afternoon when the two had met up for tea. "Johnny's so little but he's got so much energy. But then I guess we can blame that on Marcus. Only fitting that he should be the one to deal with it, innit?"
Olivia had smiled politely at the time, all the while still not seeing what endeared her friend to this rougher gorilla. But at the same time, she had told herself if he was good to Megan and their child, there had to be at least some worth in him.
Then he had gone and shut himself away when Megan died and pushed away their grieving child, one who clung to him after the loss of his beloved mother.
Yet now the pair were playing and interacting as if it were all water under the bridge. But still she chose not to comment on it. Maybe Marcus had apologized or maybe Johnny had simply forgiven it. Either way, the two were enjoying themselves, especially Johnny and the female elephant didn't have the heart to ruin the infant's fun.
She looked down at the muffin batter she had been mixing. She had decided since she wouldn't be around for a while, she would go ahead and make dinner for Johnny and Marcus before she left, and she wouldn't have felt right without leaving Johnny without a special treat for the child. Even Marcus didn't know what she was making though.
Making sure that father and son were both still preoccupied, the elephant quickly but gently folded the strawberries she had cut a few minutes ago into the batter before scooping the lot into the muffin tin and popping the whole thing into the oven.
She felt a sliver of excitement as she set the timer. In a little over half-an-hour, there would be a small batch of strawberry and banana muffins ready for eating.
Megan had taught her how to make them not long before her death, something Olivia couldn't help but wonder if Megan may have, at the very least suspected, that she was near her passing.
Whether she had or not though, Olivia was grateful for the teaching. It had been Megan who had taught her how to bake and she was glad she not only had the learning but also a recipe from her departed friend. In a way it was like a part of her was still there. And while it wasn't the same as having the flesh and blood woman there, it was better than nothing at all.
And Olivia hoped it would be the same for Johnny tonight when it was time for dessert.
As she turned her attention back to the still playing primates, Olivia felt a sliver of appreciation for Marcus that she hadn't before.
She had at least considered it before, but now watching him play with his son, being so boisterous yet careful, she wondered once more if perhaps Lucy had been mistaken.
While it couldn't be denied that Marcus had neglected Johnny for a short time there, emotionally at least, he was here now. And had been for some time. So, at least he was trying. And Olivia had to commend him for that.
"You get back 'ere!" Marcus growled playfully before seizing Johnny by the waist and pulling the infant, who had been trying to crawl away, back toward him.
"Nooo!" Johnny squealed, feigning terror as he attempted to shield his chest and stomach with his arms, all the while knowing what was coming.
"You asked for this!" Marcus insisted, pinning the toddler down with one hand before easily brushing the tiny arms aside and beginning a tickle assault on the now vulnerable stomach.
Johnny's laughter echoed off the walls, followed by Marcus's as the attack continued.
After a time, the pair seemed to calm down as Marcus released Johnny and the two lay side by side in the center of the living room floor, looking up at the ceiling.
After a few moments of regaining his breath, Johnny leapt to his feet and went into the kitchen to get something to drink.
"Auntie Olivia."
Olivia turned to him with a smile.
Little Johnny had called her that for as long as he could remember. She had been his mum's best friend growing up, so she practically was like an aunt to him. Besides, neither one of his parents had any sisters, just his dad's brothers. So, while he had two uncles, he liked having an auntie too.
"Yes, Johnny?"
"Will you please tell me what my surprise is?" Johnny practically pleaded, widening those dark brown eyes that he always seemed to know just how to use.
Olivia laughed softly.
"If I tell you, it won't be a surprise, will it?" she smiled wryly.
"If you tell me, I'll still act surprised," Johnny offered.
"Nice try, you," Olivia ruffled his head fur. "But no. Not even your daddy knows what it is. You'll just have to be a good boy and wait."
"Awwww!" Johnny groaned, tossing his head back and slumping his shoulders. "Come on, Auntie! Please, just a hint?"
"Not even that," his honorary aunt shook her head before wagging her trunk at him as if to scold him. "Good things come to those who wait, you know."
"But I'm bored of waitin'," Johnny sighed dramatically. "Dad won't tell me what he got me for m'birthday, my mate James's nan won't tell us if we get to go see that new movie that's comin' out next month at the cinema, and now you won't tell me what my surprise tonight is! I'm gonna die waitin'!"
As if to emphasize his point, he sprawled onto the floor and threw his arms out, lying spread-eagled, staring up at the ceiling.
"Well guess a dead boy doesn't need dessert then," Olivia shrugged. "Suppose I'll just have to give your friends a ring and let them have these tasty little treats."
"All better, I can wait," Johnny replied quickly, on his feet once more.
"That's what I thought," Olivia smiled, before putting her hands on Johnny's shoulders and giving him a gentle push toward the hallway. "Now you get in there and get those hands washed. Supper's ready."
…
When supper was finished, Johnny was practically rocking back and forth in his seat, craning his neck to see what the long-awaited surprise was.
And then he saw Olivia making her way over to the dining room table, a plate of what looked like muffins in her grasp.
Johnny's face split into a grin as she set the plate on the table. But then his grin faded as he realized what the 'surprise' was.
Olivia had prepared banana muffins with cut-up strawberry bits in them…
Just like the ones Mum had made…
"Well, there ya go, Johnny," Marcus chuckled. "Tuck in, lad."
Johnny stared at the pastry sitting on his plate.
Olivia felt a sense of foreboding as Johnny's face began to go pale.
Tears began to form in the infant's eyes, and he scooted his chair back.
Before Marcus or Olivia could say a word, Johnny bolted down the hall and hurried into his bedroom.
Marcus watched with bewilderment as his son fled the room before fixing his gaze on the elephant standing in front of him.
"I-I didn't…" Olivia tried to find the words, but before she could say anything more, Marcus had stood up from his chair and was hurrying to his son's room, Olivia close behind.
When the pair entered, Johnny was lying sprawled across his bed, face buried in his pillows as he cried silently, his shoulders shaking with each sob.
"Hey," Marcus muttered tenderly, reaching out and rubbing his son's back. "What's all this now?"
"Mum used ta make those," came Johnny's muffled reply. "The last time she made 'em was right before she…she-"
The infant inhaled sharply before letting out another muted, but no less heartbreaking, cry.
Olivia sighed. This had all gone so wrong. She had hoped the treat would help Johnny feel better about things, not cause him more pain. Not dredge up memories that were still so raw to him.
"Johnny, look at me," Marcus said. "Come on, look at me."
Johnny groaned and sat up before wiping his nose on his sleeve and looking up at his father, tears still spilling from his now red and puffy eyes.
"Your auntie made those for you 'cause your mum showed her how," Marcus explained, wrapping an arm around his kid's trembling shoulders. "She just wanted you to have somethin' to remember her by. You remember how much you love those? Your mum used to have to make you slow down, or you'd go through three or four your first go!"
Despite himself, Johnny giggled slightly.
"Auntie Olivia thought it might help you feel better, so she made those special for you," Marcus continued. "She wasn't tryin' to hurt you. You understand?"
Johnny nodded and wiped his eyes with his other hand.
"I know, Dad," he said shakily. "I just…I still miss Mum…"
"I miss her too," Marcus's voice grew heavy for a moment, and he blinked twice rapidly. "And tha's never gonna change for either one of us. Any of us really. She meant a lot to all of us. And we're all always gonna miss 'er. But that's okay, as long as you got something of her to hold onto, part of her's always gonna be here."
Olivia stood back and listened, feeling her chest grow tight as she heard this. Marcus was gruff as ever, but there was a softness in his voice she hadn't heard before. Or maybe she had. She just never noticed it.
Lucy had been wrong about her son-in-law. Marcus wasn't a completely closed-off, 'primitive' ape that barely gave a toss about the child he had fathered. Sure, he was a bit rough around the edges, but it was clear to Olivia that whatever else could be said about him, he loved his son. And he had loved Megan.
"You miss her too, don't you, Auntie?" Johnny asked, now looking straight at her.
Olivia bit her lip and nodded, not even attempting to stop the tears from falling from her own eyes.
"I sure do," she sighed, wiping her eyes. "She was my best friend since before I was your age. I thought she'd be around forever. Knew she wouldn't be, but still didn't stop me from at least thinking it."
"She's still 'ere though," Johnny said. "That's what you both said. Miss Ainsley said the same thing at school. James said his nan said that when his grandpa died. She said when they pass away, they leave a piece of 'em with everyone that knew them. That's true, ain't it?"
"It is," Olivia nodded. "And a lot of people knew and loved your mother. But I'd bet not as much as you, sweetheart."
Johnny smiled slightly.
"I guess that means I probably got a bigger piece of her," he said.
"I think I got a bigger piece," Marcus chuckled, lifting Johnny onto his back. "She gave me you."
Johnny wiped his eyes, feeling better.
After a few moments, a small growl sounded.
"I think my stomach wants those muffins," Johnny grinned sheepishly.
"Well, they're not going to eat themselves," Olivia laughed. "Have at them, you little nipper."
…
"Slow down, Johnny," Marcus snickered. "The muffins aren't going to jump up and run away."
"I can't help it," Johnny shrugged. "They're not as good as Mum's were, but they're still good,"
"I'll still take the compliment," Olivia teased. "I'm glad they got your approval."
Olivia's smile flickered for a moment as he gave Johnny's shoulder a light squeeze.
"You be good now," she said softly. "I won't be back until a little after New Year's. My cousin Amelia just had her baby girl, and she needs a bit more help with things, so I'm going to stay with them for a little while until things settled down a bit."
"Where are you going?" Johnny asked.
"Kent," Olivia answered. "So, not too far away. But she had a hard time having the baby, so I need to stay with her for now. But I'll be back before you know it."
"Say hi to her for me," Johnny smiled. "And tell her I'm happy for her. And the baby."
"I'll do that," Olivia said, taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "You're such a sweet boy, you know that?"
Johnny flushed slightly but smiled.
…
After Johnny had been put to bed and everything else had been attended to, Olivia gathered her things and prepared to leave.
"Marcus, could I talk to you?" she asked when the silverback exited his son's room.
"Sure," Marcus answered. "What's goin' on?"
"I…I owe you an apology," Olivia answered after a few moments. "I…made a lot of assumptions about you, and…I was wrong. I'm sorry."
Marcus looked baffled for a moment before giving a nod.
"S'alright," he said. "I always kinda figured you didn't like me much, but figured you were Megan's friend, so it didn't matter really."
"Still," Olivia sighed. "I see how you are with Johnny. You're a good father and I'm glad Megan had someone like you."
Marcus was unsure of what to say, so he just nodded again.
"I…appreciate that," he said after a moment. "Anyway, you take of yourself and congrats on the new niece."
"Thank you," Olivia beamed. "You take care of yourself too. I know you can look after Johnny, but you'll need to look after yourself too. You're all Johnny's got left now. He needs you."
"He's in good hands," Marcus assured her.
"I know."
The pair gave a hesitant wave to each other before Olivia took her leave.
As Marcus shut the door and locked up for the night, he let out a sigh and plopped into his chair in the living room.
He knew dealing with Megan's passing was never going to really stop hurting. For him or Johnny. But everyone kept saying it would get easier with time.
He sure hoped so.
...
...
Alright, not gonna lie I teared up several times writing this one out. That said, I do hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it. The next chapter will be out either tomorrow evening or Friday morning, I promise, promise, promise you lot that. So until then, I hope this was enough to at least make up a little for the long absence. Until tomorrow, or Friday, everyone.