He soaked in the tub for a long time until the water was freezing cold. Feeling so fresh and clean after almost two long weeks was a feeling he would never take for granted again. There was a brush on the counter, so he used it to untangle the snarls. Using the mirror, he braided his hair back around his ears just as he liked. When he was finally done, he looked more like his old self. He just needed some better clothes and weapons.
As he stepped out into the room, he immediately noticed Tess's dress. The maroon button-up dress drowned her petite frame along with the ridiculously puffy sleeves. He snickered at the sight as he would have preferred to see her in men's clothes than that ugly ass thing.
Tess chuckled, "I know. It's fucking hideous. Maybe people will stop staring at me now."
"Doubtful," he replied as he sat in the chair to put his boots back on. "You are way too beautiful. The looks they give you make my skin crawl as I can sense their ill intentions."
Tess visibly shuttered at that, but he needed to be honest with her. He wasn't entirely sure if all the human cities were like this one, but he had no desire to find out. "What was that one place you told me about? The one with the short elves who drink and eat all day."
She laughed as she said, "the shire, and they are called hobbits."
Celegorm stood to grab his bow and arrows. He smirked at her as he said, "if the wizard can't get you home, and after we find all my brothers, let's live there."
Her entire face brightened for a few seconds before it fell slightly. Tess gave him a small, sad smile but then said, "maybe."
The rejection of his idea stung. He was being completely serious, but it seemed like Tess was not interested. That bothered him as he wondered now if he was only a means to an end for her. When they made it to Rivendell, would she leave him the first chance she got? He shook himself out of his stupor and scowled at her back as they left the room. Why did he care what she did after? She was a mortal, and her life would be over in a blink. She might not even survive this journey, and here he was, trying to make plans with her after. It was a stupid thought.
He was slightly annoyed when they reached the bar. The women handed him the letter without a word, and the entire tavern craned their necks to watch. He opened it and held it between them so they could read it.
Elf,
My son says you threatened to kill him and held a knife to his throat. As payment for this action, my son requests the whore you are traveling with. Bring her to the palace at dawn and give her to us.
Do this, and we will let you live.
His Majesty, the king
Now his blood was boiling with rage. Without thinking, he shredded the letter as the pieces fell to the ground. The entire tavern got so quiet that he could hear the soft squeaks of the mice on the floor.
Without a word, he grabbed Tess and pulled her outside. The sun was high in the sky now as it had already passed midday. His fingers clenched around his knife as he pulled Tess along down the road. They were leaving tonight, but first, they needed to gather supplies.
The city was bustling with people, but he noticed it was primarily men on this side of the town. They leered at Tess behind him while Celegorm received scowls and glares.
Tess didn't say anything, but she did walk quite close behind him, and he could guess that she felt the stares. Most of the buildings were run down or were personal homes with the windows shuttered. He spotted the clothes shop up ahead and pulled her into it quickly.
Once inside, the shop attendant eyed them warily. The selection was limited, as only two tables were filled with folded clothes. Tess moved from out behind him, and the man behind the counter watched her every move. Celegorm stayed close to her as he picked out two new tunics and breeches. When he put the clothes on the counter, the man stared at Tess with a hungry look.
"How much," Celegorm barked.
Tess also put her clothes up, and the man slowly grabbed them as he played with them in his hands. Celegorm was getting even more annoyed as the man kept stealing glances at Tess. He pushed her behind him and then snarled, "stop staring. How much for the clothes? We are in a hurry."
"Twelve silver," the man finally said as he dropped the tunic back onto the counter. "I got a few dresses in the back for the lovely lady if she is interested."
Tess's warm hands wrapped around his waist as he dug out the coin. When he had the twelve silver, he slammed them down on the counter and snatched up the clothes. He made sure to turn Tess around in front of him so the man couldn't get to another look at her as they left. Celegorm had enough of these people, and he just wanted to return to the open plains with the sun beating down on their backs.
They stopped outside the door, so Tess could take the clothes into her arms. The coins they stole were getting pretty low, but he needed to know if they had enough to buy a horse. After asking a stumbling drunk where the stables were, they walked around the shit-filled city until they found the barn.
A group of rowdy men was sitting outside while a spotted white stallion was tethered up next to them. Celegorm could feel its anguish and pain radiating to him in waves. He wanted nothing more than to cut the poor thing loose. The horse turned and spotted him and begged softly, "free me."
As hard as it was, he ignored the horse and its soft cries. He walked up to the men while Tess walked behind him. He didn't give them a second to speak before he said, "how much for the horse?"
"Tis not for sale," the stablehand slurred. "Might be willin to trade."
It only took a second for him to recognize the man. It was the same drunk from the night of the fire outside the city. It seemed it didn't matter the time of day for him; the man was always drunk. "No," he replied firmly. "Any other horses for sale."
The other men all laughed as one said, "none we be willing to sell to you, elf. Will trade you a horse for the girl, though." All the men snickered, but another one added, "three horses, actually. She's mighty pretty and young. Just the way I like them."
The man stood and started walking towards them. He was dressed in finer clothes than the drunk, and he wondered if this was the owner of the stable. When he grinned, he saw that most of his teeth had fallen out. He laughed darkly, "what say, you girl? Fancy being my wife? Have you laid with a man yet, or are you a maiden?"
He could feel Tess stiffen behind him as she fisted his tunic tightly in her hands. The man kept moving forward, so he drew his knife and rested it on his side. All the laughter and comments stopped instantly.
"I am willing to purchase a horse. There will be no trades, and do not speak to my companion again."
Celegorm watched a few of them gulp and shake with nerves, but they didn't move. The drunk stablehand answered for all of them. "No horses for sale."
This time he walked backward, pushing Tess back down the road with his knife out front. The horse started to go insane as he begged and pleaded to be set free. Celegorm couldn't watch as the stablehands silenced the horse by beating it. His heart thumped in his chest, and he knew he couldn't leave him like this.
"I will return for you, I promise."
The horse's cries of hope and pain rang out in his head as they walked back to the tavern. It made him sick inside, and he needed a quiet place to sit and relax. He focused on Tess's soft hands on his arm as she led them back to the tavern. His head was throbbing now as he had not spoken to an animal in a very long time. Horses were the easiest for him, and he had missed the soft voices and simple nature of animals. When he hunted, he didn't like to reach out to animals as he couldn't stomach being that kind of hunter. Some of the elves in Valinor used their skills in that way, but it always seemed just a little too cruel. Despite his ruthless nature towards elves in the past, he was not that way with animals. When he had to kill for food, he did it quickly and always when they did not sense his presence.
The horse threw him off guard. He was not expecting to find a wounded animal to take in, but they needed a horse, and he would set him free.
When they finally reached their room, Celegorm didn't care much anymore about cleanliness as he fell onto the bed. He sprawled out on the soft covers on his stomach and buried his head in the pillow. Surprisingly, Tess came over to his side and began rubbing gentle circles on his back.
"Do you need anything?"
Celegorm lifted his head a little so he could look at her. She seemed to realize something was wrong with him, but she had no real idea about what.
He laid his head back onto the pillow but replied, "my head hurts. The horse spoke to me, but it has been so long that it will take some getting used to again." Along with the pain and anguish he was feeling from the horse, but he didn't want to tell her that.
Tess sat next to him on the bed and continued rubbing soft circles on his back. "Does this help?" she asked softly.
He nodded into the pillow as he allowed himself to relax. Her hands were warm, and the motion helped him, so he just focused on that. As he lay on the bed, he was hit with strong memories of his mother doing the same for him. In the beginning, when Oromë had taught him to speak to animals, the mental practice made his head ache. He wanted to learn how to do it and pushed himself daily. Sometimes though, things got to be too much, and he had to go home and lay in his bed. His mother would often rub his back, or Curufin would come and sit by his bed to keep him company. None of his family members ever asked him to stop, as he wouldn't have listened anyways.
It felt like only a few years since the first age, but in reality, it had been a few millennia. He was also in a new body, as this one was free of all his previous scars. He needed to train his mind again, but that would take time. He wasn't really sure if he wanted to focus on that right now. It had taken years for him to learn all the different languages and focus his mind on communicating. Currently, he is more interested in finding his brothers and exploring Middle Earth. He had forever, so he decided to wait until later to begin his training.
Tess's soft humming surprised him as he had yet to hear her sing at all. It was a pleasant tune, and he wondered vaguely if she could sing. Growing up with Maglor, he was accustomed to some of the greatest songs of the first age, but anything from Tess would be unique.
"Do you sing?" he asked.
"Only when I am drunk," Tess mused. "What about you?"
He chuckled softly into the pillow. "I grew up with one of the world's greatest musicians and singers. I didn't even try."
Tess laughed a tinkling laugh as she said, "I'll teach you some tavern songs from my world. We'll get drunk in Rivendell, and we can sing them together."
He'd like that, he thought. That sounded more fun than listening to his brother's weepy tunes or poetic lyrics. He sighed softly and then rolled over to face Tess. There was a slight twinkle in her eye as she smiled down at him.
He smirked as he reached for the end of her ugly dress and tugged, "promise me you will never wear something like this again. It kills the mood."
She tipped her head back as she barked out a laugh. He would never grow tired of hearing all of her different laughs or seeing the way her face lights up. She was quite different from female elves who laughed or giggled quietly behind their hands. When she finally calmed down enough, she wiped a few tears from her cheeks.
"I had no idea this dress offended you so much."
He rolled the end of the fabric between his fingers as he said, "I am glad you wore it out in the city, but when we get to Rivendell, you won't need to hide."
"Hmm," she said, "and yet I expect it will be the reverse there. I will be the ugly human among the most beautiful and perfect elves."
Celegorm frowned, "you are not ugly. Far from it."
Tess rolled her eyes. "Among humans, I am beautiful, and people can't stop staring. Probably because most of the women in this world have worked so hard their entire lives and put up with so much shit. Or because when the women were young and pretty, they were sold off like cattle to be abused by men. Of course, they are going to look tired, ragged, and broken by the time they are my age."
Celegorm arched his brow at her and wondered where this was coming from. "I'm just saying that you are beautiful," he said evenly.
"For a human," she muttered.
"Yes," he said flatly, "because you are a human."
"That's my point," Tess yelled with frustration. "It's like I am stuck between two places on opposite ends of the spectrum. When I am among humans, I am leered at and spoken about like I am a thing to be purchased or used. When we finally get to the elves, I will be the ugly duckling among the most beautiful and perfect elves. Who is to say that will be any better? Will the elves look down on me because I am human in the same way the men looked down on me because I am a woman?"
He opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Instead, he stared at her as he realized she was starting to understand this new existence she found herself in and how much different it was compared to where she came from. If he was completely honest with himself, he had no idea how to help her. Or even an inkling of how she must be feeling. While Tess sat on the bed next to him with her fists clenched, he realized that she had reminded him of Aredhel in that moment.
A long-forgotten conversation with his cousin about being born a woman in a man's world came to the front of his mind about how Aredhrel was supposed to be the prim and proper daughter of the prince who marries well and becomes a mother. Not the avid hunter that liked to roll around in the dirt wearing men's clothes and laughing at all the dirty jokes.
"You are just like her," he blurted out.
"Who?" she questioned, confused.
"Aredhel," he commented. "She used to rage at the world about being born a woman in a man's world. All she wanted to do was to be a hunter and explore Valinor, but her parents expected her to be a perfect princess and do her duty."
He sighed as he fell back onto the bed. He had not thought about a lot of his extended family members in years. It didn't matter much to him in the first age what his extended family members thought of him. He didn't care one bit, and most of them all died before him. Looking over at Tess now, he finally realized the similarities that his favorite cousins and Tess shared. Perhaps, that was why they got along so well.
Tess huffed, "well, thanks, but that really doesn't help me much."
Celegorm just shrugged. What was he supposed to do about it? She was entirely correct in her assessment, and he had no advice to give her. "What do you wish for me to say? I know you are right. The elves will always look down on you for being a human."
"Do you?" she questioned him.
He was a little surprised that she cared about how he felt about her. That warmed his heart a little, but she would never hear those words come out of his mouth. Instead, he said, "I don't care. I like you as you are. You haven't run away screaming from me, which counts for something in my book."
"Hmmm," Tess replied as she flopped onto her back at the edge of the bed. Then she turned over to face him while they were both lying down. "Maybe I should go live in Hobbiton with the hobbits. I think that would make me happiest."
"Hobbiton," he drawled. "They name a city after themselves?"
Tess chuckled softly, "they did. I think it's cute."
Celegorm shot her a look, but he would withhold judgment for now. He might like the city as the way Tess spoke about it; it was a peaceful and welcoming place. "So," he asked slowly, "you might want to live in Hobbiton with me someday? I am certain that I will not be welcome in any elvish realm. Or my brothers, for that matter."
Tess did something unexpected then as she crawled over to him. Without hesitation, she sat with her back against the headboard and looked down at him with a smile. "Does that mean I would have to live with you and your six brothers?"
"Only Curufin," he teased. "The rest can fend for themselves."
Tess laughed, and Celegorm joined her as he sat up in the bed next to her. The laughing helped him relax again, and he found that he didn't mind being close to her. It was a comfortable position, and it was nice sitting next to someone and being at ease. "We are sort of a package deal," he mused. "We tend to stick together, but I am sure they would like you just as well."
She giggled as she replied, "I assumed you would be the hardest to befriend. The rest should be easier than you."
It was his turn to bark out a laugh. "Absolutely not. Curufin and Caranthir are both stubborn mules. Best of luck to you on getting them to like you. Food might soften them, though, so I hope you can cook?"
"Eh," Tess mumbled. "In my world, sure. Here, not so much."
"Well, then you are fucked," he laughed softly. "Maybe focus on the rest of my brothers first. The twins are lovable idiots, Maglor is a soft fool who will love you for putting up with me, and Maehdros will like you on principle."
"Meaning?"
He shrugged as it was hard for him to explain. "He's the oldest. He's used to having his younger siblings follow him around and having to put us in our place. He'll like that you broke me out of prison and then decided to stay with me. You will interest him, and he will want to know everything about your world. He'll like you for the simple fact that you seem to like me."
Tess scoffed, "of course I like you. Why wouldn't I?"
A dark look crossed his face as he replied, "because I'm not a good person. I've done evil deeds, and my hands are stained red from the lives I took. You shouldn't like me."
She just rolled her eyes and then rested her head against the back of the headboard. Tess didn't say anything as she seemed to be relaxing and staring at the wall. His eyes focused on the lone window in the room while he picked at his fingernails. He didn't know why she liked him. He was a monster, and the things he had done were unforgivable. Maybe it was all an act she put on so that he would take her to Rivendell, but he knew deep down that it wasn't. Tess liked him, and it bothered him to no end that she did. He was not a good person, and he never will be again.
Eventually, Tess just sighed as she said, "just because you were a bad person in the past doesn't mean you need to be one in the future. You are not defined by the worst mistakes of your life. Every person alive has the ability to change, but it's up to you if you really want to."