Chapter 21

Humans vs. Celestials

When: A second later

Where: Rooftop

Now I had a problem. The four celestials probably knew lots of torture magic, perhaps even spells to destroy us outright like they had said. So while I had been expecting an attack what exactly was I supposed to do about it? I had no water I could throw at them while up here on this roof, nor was I trained in any kind of hand to hand combat style. Still, I knew some people who were, but Siew Yan had her dumpster, a far better attack to use than hitting someone. Stefan would no doubt throw fire at them, leaving Ramesh. Not much earth or stone to throw at them up here either. But his hybrid form did have claws and he might rush them, so I chose to put my elemental aura on him. I stepped back away from them and brought my hands up, starting to make the seals.

"Oh no you don't!" said the celestial furthest to the right, bringing their own hands up.

The one right next to them also started casting something, while behind me Ramesh gave a battle cry and transformed, becoming bestial.

"What?" the celestials all exclaimed as the dumpster next to Siew Yan shot forward towards the two on the left. Both put some effort into getting out of the way but only one managed it, getting slammed into the thing and shooting backwards.

"Christopher!" screamed the one.

"Blah!" he gargled back.

Stefan gestured, and the celestial on the far right flinched back as fire erupted around them. It looked like he was still casting though.

The celestial that had dodged out of the way ran to his friend, ducking behind the dumpster and out of sight.

Ramesh shot forward, faster than anything I had ever seen, but not so fast my magic couldn't catch him. I finished it up, making sure to draw magic from the well as I did so, and a water aura sprang up around him. He struck out with both hands, claws outstretched. Both sprang away from him though, unharmed.

Siew Yan started gearing up for another spell, while the one celestial casting something pointed at me. I felt magic swirling around me and willed it away, because that's just a thing you can do with magic, did you know that? It's true. Just think really hard about it and you can make a spell not take hold in the split second it hits you. Try it some time. I managed it, the spell seemed not to take and the celestial swore.

Then Siew Yan finished her spell, and a bolt of lightning shot out of her hand towards the celestial still trying to cast his initial spell. He tried to jump aside which is a thing you can do when lightning is about to hit you. Try it some time. He managed it too, and the bolt went wide.

Stefan tried the fire again, why change a winning strategy? The same celestial got hit with it, he was finishing up his spell. "Kill her!" he shouted. My eyes went wide with fear. Somehow he had turned Ramesh against me, who was now advancing on me instead of the celestials. He looked even more bestial now, drool dripping from his open mouth, sharp teeth glistening in the sunlight. He was bigger, hunched over, and only inches away from me. I screamed and started backing away.

What can I do? I can't hurt Ramesh, and I don't have any combat skills anyway! I have to get away. Far away. Teleport? Can't allow him to hurt the others. Have to do something.

So I did. I fell over, my feet simply whooshing out from under me. I tried to scramble backwards but I couldn't find any purchase, like friction had simply gone away from the area. I was too panicked to care about the meant, simply kept trying to get away from the nightmarish Ramesh before he got to me.

"Ha, nice one," said one of the celestials. "Now let's have some real fun." He started casting.

Suddenly, the figure of Ramesh vanished, and I saw he was standing over the celestial that had cast the spell on me. Blood dripped from his claws, and the celestial was down, his disguise torn at the chest to reveal some kind of swirling energy beneath it.

"Nice one, Ramesh," Stefan cheered, beginning his "create fire" spell again by the looks of it. I still couldn't stand up but that oppressive fear I had been feeling was completely gone. One celestial was peeking out from behind the dumpster while the other was casting something. Still, they wanted to play fear games? We could play fear games. I started casting an illusion.

The celestial stopped casting and had a thorned whip in his hand, he took a step back to get a good bead on Ramesh. He was so focused on that he didn't see the lighting bolt coming for him from Siew Yan, so both electricity and fire hit him in the body. He cried out but was still up, holding the whip.

"Wait, maybe we should talk about this?" the celestial huddling behind the dumpster called out.

"Too late for that!" I told him, finishing my spell. Both saw Ramesh grow in size, wings sprouting from his back as he roared, fire shooting out of his mouth as he became even more demonic looking.

"Impossible!" said the celestial with the whip. "That can't be!"

You're right, it can't. But looks like you believe it anyway.

Ramesh took a swipe at him, I couldn't disguise that but his timing was messed up. He was looking up at the giant figure rather than where he actually was, and he too went down in a heap.

"I surrender!" screamed the one that was left, holding his hands high and stepping out from the dumpster. "I won't cast anything, don't hurt me!"

I found I could get up again, and stalked over to him. Ramesh looked menacing beside me. "You surrender?"

"That's right, yes, yes, don't hurt me. How can a couple of humans best four celestials? Even with most of our powers sealed..."

"Easy," I told him. "We only know basic spells, that are fairly quick to cast. You guys went for complex ones that took twice as long. Our spells went off first, we won. Now, who has the door key?" It also seems Ramesh is pretty strong in that form, and fast, and with his claws and my water magic, your disguises didn't stand a chance. I guess you are basically human when you're through the door. Good to know.

"I do."

"That's a nice coincidence. Hand it over."

"Of course, anything you want!"

"Uh, are they dead?" Siew Yan asked.

"You can't kill a celestial, no matter how hard you tried," he sneered at her. I had the illusion roar at him again and he cowered back. "I mean, no, no, their disguises are just disabled. They can't move around in them until they're repaired."

"Fine." I took the button from him and pressed it. A red looking shimmer appeared in the space I pointed at, and I nodded. Handing our button to Siew Yan I told her "Get these others back though our door. See if Good Place wants to patch them up or put them on trial for all this. Ramesh, you're with me."

"Right," he said.

"Stefan, help Siew Yan," I told him.

"Are you really going to-"

"Not a word about what I'm doing to Michael," I told him. "Janet may know everything that happens here but we're not going to be here. I'll join up with you shortly. Leave our door open until I get back."

"You got it," Siew Yan told me. She started gesturing to pick up the "corpses" after activating the door back to the afterlife.

"As for you, you're going to tell anyone through that door to stand down and leave. Can it be moved?"

"I guess. There's a lot of pieces though."

"That's fine. Come on Ramesh." I dropped the illusion so he was back to "normal" but he didn't transform again.

"What are you?" the celestial asked. "I feel..."

"Never you mind," he growled. "Move."

"Okay, okay." We passed through the portal and there were two more celestials there, monitoring the equipment. The celestial told them it was over, the three had been caught. I promised if they left now, their names would not be mentioned, and they scurried out of there. The jig, as they say, was up. They probably could have squashed me like a bug but I was back in the afterlife now, and other celestials from Good Place were involved. I had no idea the politics of the situation but they did seem eager to not have their names mentioned. 'Killing" me would only delay their punishment for so long. I looked the place over. It was a fairly typical room and had what looked like computers hooked up to a hastily constructed metal archway. Wires were everywhere.

"What makes it work?" I asked.

"Magic, mostly."

"But these are computers," I protested.

"Those are run by the generator there, which runs on magic. The computers control various aspects of the gateway modulated by certain control structures embedded in the archway."

"Nice!" I smiled. "Going to have to get me more of those. Okay, get it shut down, we don't have a lot of time here." I don't want to teleport an active gate to the land of the living. I can't even imagine what could happen. Nothing? I hope so but on the other hand, I'm not chancing it.

We watched as the celestial turned everything off, then moved all the various bits around the archway. I had been thinking furiously where to put the thing, and for the moment I had it. Under the warehouse. No one goes into the tunnels yet because there's nothing at the end of them but another warehouse like you just left. But with no people there to greet you. So that should be safe for a minute or two. It's big enough too. "Once I get it somewhere I can just turn it back on, right?"

"You aren't holding me hostage to work it for you?" asked the celestial.

"We're going past the gate," I told him. "I'm not leaving it here in Bad Place for you to just destroy or copy or use again behind our back. Unless you want to hit that barrier between our realms on the way over, that's not an option."

"No thank you! Yeah, if you just boot it up it'll work like it did. But it's a prototype, it's pretty finicky you don't want to mess around with it."

"I'll figure it out. I've got lots of time and desire to make it work. Thanks for your cooperation, by the way."

I envisioned where I wanted to go and started making the hand gestures. He backed off, leaving me alone with Ramesh. We vanished, all the equipment coming with me and neatly fitting into the tunnel. I started to separate everything again so we could get it back up and running. "Okay, let's get it turned on again," I told Ramesh, who was settling back into him totally human form. "We need to get back."

"You really stole their gateway," he said, sounding a bit shocked and impressed.

"Yeah, I really did," I agreed. "How many months have we been here? And not a word that there's a way to actually leave the afterlife from Michael? Oh sure, we might have been tempted but it's the principal of the thing. What else isn't he telling us? I want options."

"No, I hear you. Let's get the auxiliary units as far away from the doorway as possible. They had them spread out, there may be a reason for it."

"Right."

We activated the portal and stepped through, and as I hoped it simply defaulted to the last place the door was opened from, so we were back in the city again, high above the streets. Siew Yan was there and the place was cleaned up. I nodded my approval and hit the button to turn the rogue doorway off, and it vanished. I stuck the key in my pocket and suppressed a grin.

"Ah, there you are, wasn't sure how much longer I could stall them," she told me.

"Yup, no problem, time to- wait." I thought struck me. "One second." They said they came here to torture people. Were they in the middle of that when we showed up? More importantly, are there victims that need our help somewhere in the city? I raised my hands and cast my divination spell, getting back a yes answer. "Crap." I plunged though the blue gateway and came face to face with Michael again.

"Everything okay there, Denice?" he asked.

"No, it's not," I told him. "Those fo- three were torturing people and I've just asked my magic if they're still in trouble. They are. We need to help them."

"Do we though?" he asked.

"I'm not leaving them. If they're tied up someplace helpless they could die. I don't want to confront them here in the afterlife as to why I didn't go and help them when I could."

"What do you suggest?"

"I have no idea. I'll go back and get a better divination spell, maybe I can track them down that way."

"Wait," Janet told me. "Here." She handed me a sword, of all things.

"Little late for that, and besides, I want to heal these people not stab them." You're just breaking the rules left and right today aren't you little thread? Good on you!

She shook her head. "It'll guide you to what you want to find. Go back and concentrate on finding the victims. It should lead you right to them."

"A sword?"

"Yes, a sword. It's from a set of twelve, don't lose it."

"Didn't plan on it. Come on Stefan. Michael, we'll be back soon."

"Very well, I suppose you've been back there's no harm in finishing this up."

"Good answer." I plunged back through the doorway, followed by Stefan.

As good as her word, the sword Janet had given me, with an arrow on the hilt in white, vibrated when I pointed it in a certain direction. Clearly magic, I could feel the energy in it now, of a different type than in the well. She just created a powerful magic item just like that. I mean I know she claims she can create anything, but refuses to, so it's nice to know she's telling the truth about her abilities. I cast an illusion spell over it, making it look like a dog was simply walking before me, and once we teleported back to the ground we set off, following the blade. We didn't have too far to go before we came to the Museum of the Moving Image. A rather strange place, I thought, but the sword (i.e. dog) pointed right to it. The building seemed closed though. Several people were standing outside looking impatient but I had no idea when the place opened because I couldn't read the sign. We headed around the corner, there was a wall between the building and the next one, and several cars were parked there. The blade was only vibrating when I pointed back at the main building.

"Grab onto me," Ramesh told us, as we were standing there looking at the wall. He cast a spell and nodded, then walked through it.

"Oh, that's what phase means," Stefan announced. He followed, and we soon followed him. We remained phased, easily passing through the wall of the building from the back, and followed the blade downstairs through the museum. Huh, there's Kermit. Hi, Kermit!

Down in the lower level we found about a dozen people, tied up in various ways and looking worse for wear. Some were conscious, others were not, all showed signs of trauma including cuts, bruises, burns, and worse. Siew Yan started healing them, I figured well why not, I have a sword don't I? and started cutting their bonds. The sword tore through even what looked like braided metal cable with ease, meaning this sword must be the sharpest thing in existence. Surprised me the first time, so I was super careful with it from then on, and soon all were free. Most were out of it, but some were gibbering at us. No doubt asking what was going on, that sort of thing, but of course we couldn't exactly answer now could we? But as we made no move towards them and those with it and up saw their wounds being healed before their eyes, they must have decided we were there to help. With everyone untied and various magic used (giant's soul, telekinesis) we easily hauled those that were still unconscious up to the main level. We made them comfortable while one person ran off, hopefully to call a hospital to get several emergency vehicles there. Meanwhile I asked my magic if there were more locations with people in trouble from the celestials we had taken out, got a no, so Ramesh put the spell on us again and we ghosted through the walls. Better for them to see that and have a ghost story to tell than opening a door into the afterlife and going through right in front of their faces and have them think it was aliens that rescued them. Still, what story are they going to tell about all this? At least they'll be alive to tell it.

Back outside we were behind the wall again but I headed for the outside. The others ran to catch up.

"What are you doing?" Ramesh asked. "Shouldn't we be going back? Are there more victims?"

"Nope," I told him. "But I've still got my purse, and I have some money. There's a few things I want to pick up as we're here. Who knows if we'll ever get the chance again?" We aren't turning that other door on again until we have gone over and over it, and hopefully understand the principals behind it. Perhaps even worked out the "bugs" that one mentioned. That guardian will be alerted, just like he was this time, so it'll have to be a real emergency that sends us back here. Unless we can get rid of the telltale "ripple" in the original door so we can use it without detection, that is.

When we did go back into the afterlife it was with a bag full of things. Mostly solar powered calculators, so we didn't have to keep doing basic math by hand. Also some wind up clocks and wristwatches I had found at a used item shop the sword led me to. I hated not knowing what freaking time it was! Of course if time wasn't a 24 hour cycle they would be sort of useless but at least then we would know how "hours" there compared to hours here. Anything more complex than that would have to wait, and we would probably have to steal it to boot as that was all the money I had, but what was it going to do? Lose me points? I didn't think so. But even if Michael asked what was in the bag he would probably allow it, I wasn't sneaking back cocaine or anything.

We got back to an anxious Michael, talking about frogs, of all things, with the guard. At least, that's what I thought he was saying when we came back through.

"Finally," said the guard as I handed the key back. "I don't like this out of my sight."

"I can accept that," I told him.

"I told you they were shopping," Janet told Michael. "Nothing we can't allow them to take back."

"Fine," he reluctantly agreed. "But consider that stuff your reward."

Oh, I got my reward. It's sitting back at the warehouse, thank you so very much. "No, I'll consider the punishment of those celestials my reward," I told him. "How are they, anyway?"

"Once back here they were fine," he told us. "They're getting patched up. We don't know what we're going to do with them. You destroyed the portal they were using? Janet said you went through it."

"That's up to you. Just so long as I get to watch. And yes, they can't use it anymore. Had to get a little creative but it's not a concern. Bad Place no longer has a portal to travel to the pre-afterlife with. Here's your sword back." Notice I didn't lie, saying I destroyed it. A fine point, but if he doesn't ask I'm not going to volunteer that information.

"Thanks." Janet took it and made it vanish. "Was it bad? I mean I already know," Janet assured me. "But the polite thing to do is ask so that you can tell me about it."

I told them about it on the way back by train. All trying to distract myself from grinning, I had a working portal back to Earth, now to tease out its secrets and maybe use it for good instead of evil. I had some ideas how it could be used, I just hoped they panned out. The first order of business was to hide it better, I figured just putting it in the next warehouse over would be fine for now. Maybe gravity magic and TK can whisk it down the corridor and put it into place. Then it'll be time to tear it apart!