I'm feeling a pit in my stomach. But it has nothing to do with my Quirk. It's probably because of Katsuki. Last night Tsu told me…
'Ochako… I think Bakugou likes you.'
Sometimes when I look over at him, he seems to be already looking at me. But then he's not. Is he hiding it?
I might be going crazy, I have to be. There's no way he's looking at me. He's way out of my league…
Gosh… how did all this start?
After the final exam, Katsuki was pretty mad about how Izuku passed for both of them by punching All-Might and saving him in the last second. They made us watch the tapes to see how we could improve and… I saw how stressed out he looked about it. It was kinda scary actually.
I thought, after all those years, that he should just make up with Izuku. Maybe they could be friends again.
Then I just had to run my mouth about it.
At first I thought maybe I had talked some sense into him. The look on his face… I could tell he was surprised by how I just said all that stuff. Like he knew I was right.
And he yelled at me.
"THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO ME!? WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER WHAT HAPPENED WITH ME AND DEKU? IT'S NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS ANYWAY!"
Violent rays of light like heat-seeking missiles! Their target found at point-blank. If he really wanted to, he could've shot through roof and into the stratosphere. Never to return.
As class continued and everyone got settled, so did Katsuki's rage. But only just a little. He didn't know exactly what she was doing, but he might soon find out. Is that what terrified him?
Having made a ruckus in class, Katsuki was forced to stay in homeroom for an extra thirty minutes after seventh period. As a result, the hallways were left empty and Katsuki was on his own.
Wanting to approach him again, Ochako made the excuse of wanting to volunteer for after-school cleanup. By the time she was done, she'd completely forgotten about it so she found herself rushing, dashing down the empty, echoing halls.
Eventually she found him in the landing between the second and first floors. The sun was still high in the sky, not quite level with the trees and the giant windows, but its warmth still shining through. Ochako felt like she could stand here, with Katsuki in the sun, for a long time.
"What the hell do you want?" he asked, turning around to see her panting and wheezing.
"Hey," she tried to start, breathed in, composed herself, and tried again, "I'm… hey, I just… I'm sorry about earlier."
"What are you talking about—oh, right…"
It must've been a long and windy day for him because, as it was, he wasn't shouting. His face twisted something gnarly, however. Ochako waited for him to continue… and waited… until she decided to continue herself.
"I can't believe I just blurted all of that out earlier. You were right, it's not fair. I barely know you and… all that stuff with Deku is none of my business. I guess I… felt bad about it so I'm just letting you know. Um… bye."
That was all, at least it was in her head. Ochako turned and started to leave—
"Wait," she heard him say, "don't just walk away."
Ochako paused for a moment, feeling his gaze on the back of her neck. She knew the warmth was from the sun but for a moment she pretended that it was all because of him.
Slowly, defusing-a-bomb slowly, she turned to look back at him. He just kept staring at her, seemingly waiting for a response, maybe not wanting to shout or get into another fight and risk getting detention… again.
Ochako fell back onto 'that was all' and kept silent. She stared back at him, in the eye, but wavered and lowered her eyes when she found it too difficult. She wanted to pinch herself for being so brave earlier and so weak now…
"I don't know," Katsuki muttered, "I just think it's weird how you always seem to want to defy things you have no business defying… like gravity."
Ochako smiled shyly, the sentiment was funny and so un-Bakugou.
"Maybe I just don't like you."
And just like that, the smile faded as she began to remember who she was talking to.
I understand. It's not a nice thing to say but… I know what he means. That's fine. There's a lot more to him than that. But he definitely acts weird sometimes. Weird. Like me.
Deku was right; everyone has a secret. It's what makes us so similar. Everyone has a pain they live in. Everyone has some aspect of themselves that they hide because they're afraid of what people will say when they find out about it.
Bakugou has a lot of them.
I want to share a secret with him. I don't know why. There's just something about him. It's just that… he makes me happy. Somehow.
I probably wouldn't admit this but I actually kind of have a crush on him. You know what? I'll say it as long as I'm safe in my thoughts: I think Bakugou is actually the cutest guy in class!
"MOON FACE!"
Ochako stepped out of her daze and looked up to see… Katsuki, a step closer than he was before.
"Uh," she murmured, "sorry?"
"I asked you what you were thinking about!"
Ochako blushed when she remembered…
"Um… nothing."
Katsuki's eyes twinkled but his face stayed still like he'd just been turned to stone. Then he lowered his hands to his knees, leaning on them for support as he laughed. But the tone of his voice was far from humorous—
"Look at you, you're blushing! That means you were thinking about something that embarrassed you. What was it?!"
Ochako weighed her options: float away, tell him the truth, or… dodge.
"I just… I think you're mean," she said.
Katsuki turned to stone again, but only for a moment. He lifted his face just enough that Ochako could read half his expression. He looked… disappointed.
"But, uh," Ochako tried outrunning his question, "what's with the new nickname? It's not… so bad. It's kinda—"
"What?!" Katsuki bolted straight up far too fast for comfort, "It's just a dumb name for your dumb face, dumbass! What's big and round and annoying as fuck? The moon. Just like your face!"
He just likes to make fun of people. A lot of people don't like him. But… I do.
There's something endearing about the nicknames. Like you had something about you that he noticed. Like you have place, even if it's just to be a pedestal for his rise to the top.
But the Sports Festival… he was so different when we did that battle. I think he might've even… flirted with me. At some point? And then there was this one thing… I felt his strength… but for the first time… I wasn't scared.
I never told him how much he gave me courage to fight back. I don't think he'd care. He'd probably just call me weird.
I should've said something back then. Maybe we could've been friends. That wouldn't be so bad.
Ochako swallowed her gut feeling and stood up to him.
"You know, you always seem so confident but… you're always trying to put everyone down just to get ahead. You're so good at a lot of things but it's like you're afraid someone else will be better."
He made the same face he'd made earlier in class. Like he was really listening. Ochako wanted to break off and let him shout and scream at her again, but she persisted…
"You should help others. Because everyone deserves to be heard and helped. You wanna be a hero, right? Isn't that what heroes do? I don't care if you think I'm weird… but I still mean what I said earlier. About you, about Deku…"
She stopped yet again, waiting for him to blow up at the mention of Deku. But again, nothing happened. And so she ended…
"I'm sorry if I said anything wrong," Ochako looked to the ground for help, but her reflection only stared back, "but the only way to solve this is for us to talk it out."
"Talking is pointless."
"Hm?" Ochako looked back up to him, but he was still standing there like a cornered animal.
"You think you know everything about me but you don't, you even said that yourself. So why keep talking like it'll change something? I can be whoever I want to be. You can too. No one has to tell you to be yourself or anything else. Least of all you."
With that, Katsuki turned away.
"Wait," Ochako tried again, "listen… you're not a bad person. I know you're not. I don't think you want to hurt people, I know it's not all about you. Not always, anyway."
"What did I just say?"
There was something so much more frightening about the low growl than any other tone in his vocal range. The screaming, the shouting… all so familiar, all so safe.
Katsuki turned his head halfway, catching her with just one eye. Her heart felt like it had stopped beating, all Ochako could hear was the blood rushing through her ears.
"People want to hurt me, so I hurt them first."
He turned back around, finally ready to leave.
"Don't tell anyone about this, Moon Face—"
"Don't call me that."
Katsuki changed his mind, and looked back one more time.
Ochako was afraid, but she tried not to show it. Her eyes lingered straight ahead and slightly down. She stood in the light of the summer sun, in the shade of the waving trees, unmovable as she always was. The moon in the sky.
But despite being so defiant, something he said had made her cry.
I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me but… when I saw her like that… it was like when she told me that I should be friends with Izuku again: my perception of her changed.
I didn't want to leave her behind. I didn't want to hurt her. I wanted to stay here with her. I wanted to apologize. I wanted—
"It's starting!" Ochako shouted.
Katsuki felt a dull pain in his chest when he realized it was her. How cruel she was to be the one to snap him out of the past. He would've taken anyone else.
"Anyone see Midoriya?" Denki asked.
"He's over there," Tsu pointed to the crowd, wilding at the lights changing on the stage, a spokesperson stepping out.
In the wave of people, Katsuki spotted him with Kousei. How she managed to spot him so quickly was a bit too far beyond him. Somewhere in there he saw Hitoshi and Mei as well.
"Let's go over, then," Denki said, already two steps towards the crowd.
Katsuki watched Eijirou get up and follow him. Followed quickly by Mina and Ochako, and finally Tsu.
"Jirou! Yo!" Denki shouted after her.
"Fine!" she shouted back, springing up off the couch leaving Katsuki alone with Momo and Shoto. Probably best to tag along—
"You coming?" Eijirou called out just as Katsuki lunged out of the couch.
But just before he stepped over the line marking the beginning and the end of the general admission floor, Katsuki turned once again to the area that Class B had staked as their territory.
On one of the couches, Neito and Itsuka sat arm in arm. Just another gut punch. He makes it look so easy.
"Come on!" he heard Ochako shout.
As if Neito and Itsuka were just another memory, Katsuki turned away and faced her. Mina was standing right behind her. And behind her, the crowd. All the people.
He looked over at them, their faces he could not see, then Mina's face, then Ochako's.
'Just be her friend, please?'
"Okay, yeah," he said, ready to face the music.
"Apparently the actual music doesn't start 'til later," Ochako said.
"Yeah, uh," Katsuki turned around once more to get a glance of the class, any one of those Ochako's friends. Not mutual friends. Especially Shoto Todoroki.
Forget Todoroki.
"Kacchaaaaan," Mina groaned, "stop stopping and get over here!"
Forget Todoroki. Good idea.
Katsuki smiled, never noticing where he was looking until Shoto smiled back. But Katsuki didn't frown this time. This time he kept up the smile, and turned back to join his friends.
They stood undisturbed by the rowdy crowd somewhere in the middle. It looked like Izuku, Kousei, Hitoshi, and Mei managed to create an aura of untouchability around them.
Ochako swallowed at the sight of Mei, who looked like she was trying to shout a brainworm into Kousei's ear—
"And then the thing sort of fell apart because some guy named Ketchup or Mayonnaise or whatever-the-fuck poured some slime on it but it wasn't slime, it was a guy, the same guy who almost ate Bakugou that one time!"
"That's…"
Ochako could only brace for what came out of Kousei's mouth next, and she braced for impact.
"…pretty neat. I'd like to hear more some time."
"Oh," Ochako said in Mei's direction, keeping a keen eye on her and mentally falling flat on the ground and cringing from secondhand embarrassment all at the same time.
"Hm?" someone murmured, she couldn't tell who.
"Oh, n-nothing."
"Now before we begin our show," the announcer… announced, "I would like to bring some friends of mine up on stage."
"Who is this guy?" Katsuki asked Izuku.
"No idea."
"It's been a pleasure having the Hero Courses from schools around the country being here tonight… the first person I'd like to introduce up here comes straight from U.A.'s Class A, the fourth in the line of famous fast family heroes… Ingenium!"
Tenya stumbled onto stage as Ingenium. The crowd didn't go as wild as Ochako and Izuku had hoped, but also more wild than Katsuki hoped. Was it hard for him to see in that helmet? In these lighting conditions? Must've been sweaty as hell under there.
But being Tenya, being Iida, being Ingenium, he waved with (presumably) a smile at the excitable crowd and posed in a variety of silly and stupid poses. Most of which followed a running motif.
And then he started talking…
"Fellow heroes!" his voiced boomed across the venue, not his actual voice, much closer to his mock villain voice but with a tinge of gravitas that only All-Might could pull off without being cheesy, "Thank you for having me here tonight to present the first show of the What's New, Pussycats? Tour… Summer edition."
"First show?!" Mina shouted right into Eijirou's ear, "Ooh, sorry!"
"That's right!" Tenya shouted as if he could hear her, he probably did, "Next Saturday, the Pussycats will be Hiroshima. And the Saturday after that? Osaka! And the Saturday after that… you'll have to wait. Show schedule to be released Friday."
Ochako gasped, "You think they'll be in Musutafu? Or Hamamatsu?"
"Probably gonna continue summer camp," Hitoshi said, "after first year's disaster."
That was probably the best word to describe it: disaster. After a series of disasters, mostly from within U.A., only a few without. From that moment on, most disasters were from without.
"Great," Denki groaned, "another one waiting to happen."
Usually, Katsuki would like to say he was wrong. But now that was just a hope.
Katsuki tried getting an image of Tenya's face behind the helmet, following his every move, trying to stabilize and match his eyes to the movements of his head. He moved so quickly, it was hard to see him. A pain in the ass. He looked over at Ochako, seeing how enthralled she was with his movements. How her face shined…
It was getting dark, the sun moving behind them, falling into the sea, shaping the day into night.
If they turned the lights off, Katsuki could've sworn she'd light up the whole venue.
Izuku… Deku really was an idiot. How could he not see who this woman was? Scratch that, how could anyone not see who she was? The fact that she was still single was baffling…
Scratch that again, how could I have been such an idiot?
What the hell was I thinking when I—?
Back in the landing between the second and first floor, almost exactly one year ago, Katsuki keep staring at Ochako like something would change.
"Goodnight, Bakugou," she said… and walked right past him, down the stairs, and out of the school.
Katsuki stood there, alone with the trees and the sun. Ready to leave… but not quite.
Uraraka… I'm not going to give in to you. There's no time for weakness. You might think you can stop me, but you can't. No one can. You will see that for yourself.
Did I really think that?
I wasn't down on the ground just yet. Life was going to give me another chance to get up and shake its hand. So I took it… and punched life in the stomach.
The day I was kidnapped, the third day of the camping trip… Ochako—
"Bakugou," she said, trying to peek over his shoulder, "you're really good at using a knife! It's unexpected—"
"What do you mean, unexpected!? How can you be bad at using a knife!?"
It was like she'd forgotten the conversation we had a few days earlier. Maybe she's just forgetful. First she seemed to not mind "Moon Face" and then a minute later she tells me not to call her that…
Maybe I just turn people off on a dime. Maybe they're all wearing masks thinking I won't recognize who they are and what they're doing. And once I do, they pull it off. And walk away.
Ochako isn't someone who just walks away barefaced. But she did, the first time we talked.
She's weird. Quite the oddball…
I was trying to ignore her, and for a long while I completely forgot she existed. I stopped trying to not think about her that I really just forgot… I wasn't going to let her get to me. As far as we were concerned, the conversation was over. Done. That's all she wrote. And I wasn't going to read it all again.
That was the night… the night everything changed.
Let's see… it was us, Izuku, Tsu, Todoroki, Shouji, and… oh yeah, that Tsuburaba guy. He was out like a light.
We were walking along a path that was supposed to take us back to the cabins. This was right after we took down that girl… Toga.
Even when we know where the monsters are and how to keep them away, something about the night invites monsters we cannot see. Unless within the mind's eye. The trees shift out of harmony from major to minor as the sun sets behind them. The forest a cemetery; headstones of the day. And the night reminds you why you should be sleeping.
"Are you sure you're okay, Ochako?" Tsu asked, addressing Ochako's very minor scrapes and bruises.
"I'm okay," she said, "I can walk just fine. I mean… look at Deku."
Tsu looked over her shoulder at him, being half-carried in Shouji's huge arms. Then she flipped her switch to thinking…
"Bakugou actually looked a little scared back there."
"Yeah… I think he was trying to hide it."
"Are you okay after he yelled at you?"
"About the knife thing?" Ochako laughed, "I guess he just doesn't like taking compliments."
"No, I mean after the exams. About being friends with Izuku again."
"Oh," Ochako lowered her head, trying to remember it just so she could forget it again.
Or forgive?
"Well," she said, "he was a real jerk about it so… I won't say anything for now."
"Yep. If he wanted to make amends with Izuku, you'd think he would've done it by now?"
"I can't stand seeing him bully him. And I can't just say nothing. Sometimes I wish he'd just go away. That'd be so much easier."
"Ochako… I know what you mean but I wouldn't say that when the League of Villains is actually trying to kidnap him."
Ochako knew Katsuki, and not just his name. Not just his face. He wouldn't give an inch to the Villains. They wouldn't kidnap him. They couldn't. They just tried a few minutes ago and failed. No matter how many times they tried…
She smiled victoriously. Something about his courage rubbed off on her. Like at the Sports Festival. Something about his strength made her feel strong. Like she could do anything. She knew… he saw her as a threat. He saw Izuku as a threat. Ochako wanted to be like Izuku, and part of her wanted to be like Katsuki.
"That's not gonna happen, he's…" Ochako looked over her shoulder for him, "he's…"
"W-what's wrong, Uraraka?" Izuku… turned around… "Kacchan?"
Ochako didn't fully grasp what she'd said until it was too late.
Should I be mad at myself, should I hate myself, if I was… relieved that he was gone? He couldn't hurt Izuku, he couldn't hurt me. And there was some hope that, oh, this will be good for him. A learning experience.
I just didn't know what to say when he did come back. So I didn't say anything.
I'm feeling a pit in my stomach. But it has nothing to do with my Quirk.
"The rumors were true, ladies and gentlemen, the Number Eight Pro Hero: HAWKS!"
Ochako's brain was mush at this point, at least that's what she remembered Tenya saying as Hawks walked on stage. Unsurprisingly, the audience cheered as he… walked, just walked, up to Tenya and waved at the crowd. He took the microphone that was offered to him and Tenya disappeared from the stage. Always second fiddle despite how hard he tried.
Hawks smiled and waved some more before shoving the microphone in his face.
"Enjoying the new look?"
He sounded tired and bored but somehow managed to turn it into something more charming or flirtatious. It must've been an accident because immediately after he said it, his eyes widened in surprise.
It was too late, of course. Ochako looked side to side and found a whole lot of impatient boyfriends in the crowd tapping their feet and groaning. She looked at Katsuki. He looked… determined.
"So much better," he said to himself.
"Endeavor was busy," Hawks said, now sounding proper bored and tired, "but I'm never busy."
The audience wasn't sure how exactly to take that. Laugh? Cheer? Both? Neither? The vibe he was setting was worrying. Ochako felt a creeping coldness around her that also seemed to be coming off of her friends. Awkward!
"I'd like to," Hawks eyes flew across the stage, "take this opportunity to talk about something very important to me. Things aren't looking good for a lot of people right now and unfortunately a lot of people couldn't make it to this concert. You're all fortunate to be here so don't forget that. Please, be kind to each other and help those in need. That's what heroes do, right? I'd also like to send this message to our politicians…"
"Here he goes," Hanta said.
"But hey, he's right," Denki said, "also, since when did you get here?"
Hitoshi turned his head enough to find Hanta and gave him a big, welcoming smile.
"We only have one planet," Hawks said, "we can't afford to lose it. Love each other, love the environment, that's kinda all I got to say but… we're raising money tonight for a great cause so please, we know you might be struggling right now so it's hard but… if you can, it'd be greatly appreciated. The Pussycats won't be taking a cent from the ticket prices, that's all going to help environmental efforts. Thank you… also, legalize gay marriage."
"YES!" Katsuki shouted, bending Ochako's straight line of focus.
Odd hearing that from him. But he's full of surprises.
"It's starting," someone whispered loudly.
And start…
The stage lights went down but the crowd was not settled. An ominous hum crept up over the venue. As the crowd whispered for some answer to what was happening, a set of strange synth sounds emerged from the creeping hum. They sounded like… crickets cricketing in the swamp on a hot summer night. Effervescent sprites, fairies, whispering and wisping through the air. Like stepping into another world.
Some kind of soft synth lead kicked in, its melody barely audible over the crowd. But seeing the goosebumps and hair sticking up on Izuku's arms, Ochako could tell it was from a song he knew well.
And then the array of sounds spread out, the fairies scattering. The ominous hum emerged completely. The crowd shouted out once more as four booms shouted back, and four spotlights fell down on the stage.
The crowd went nuts as Mandalay, Pixie-Bob, Ragdoll, and Tiger slowly made their way to their instruments.
Tiger sat down at his drums and…
DADA-DA DADA-DA DUM!
The show began as they played the first track of their first album. Has it really been six years since it came out?
Almost everyone jumped up and down to the beat, leaving Ochako quite dizzy. She could probably get a better view by floating up just enough, but again, Quirk use in the venue was prohibited!
As she peered around she noticed a few strangers had taken to sitting on each other's shoulders. Ochako thought about asking one of the taller ones in the group about maybe letting her sit on their shoulders. In order of tallness, that would go to Hanta or Hitoshi, and then to Katsuki…
On second thought…
Izuku, Tsu, Mina, and Mei were all pretty short but none of them seemed to be complaining so Ochako put it aside. Or rather, gave herself another reason to put it aside.
Ochako almost forgot to listen to the music!