The afternoon and night became a blur of dark blue and burnt orange in the sky, waving and swinging arms and legs on the ground, and familiar sounds a tad too loud and tinny in Ochako's ears.
The group was so caught up in the music, and the songs had been going by so freely, that Ochako felt at times that it was just her and the Pussycats having a one-on-one discussion about friendship, sunshine, communication, helping each other, scary love… scary love?
From time to time, Ochako couldn't help but be… captured by Katsuki. Every time another song came along, he was right there singing or swaying along. How much had he loosened up since the start? How long had he been smiling?
On one song, a particularly bright and girly song, Katsuki, Denki, and Eijirou rocked out like it was the last night on earth. It was the hardest Ochako had ever seen Tsu laugh.
…
"How are our friends out there?!" Mandalay shouted.
The crowd whooped and whooped and… was that guy swinging his shirt around?
"I'd like to thank our friends at U.A., Shiketsu, Ketsubutsu, Isamu, Seiai, Seijin, and… am I forgetting any?"
The crowd shouted out where they were from; Hero-focused high schools. Being from the most popular and exclusive one was a bit daunting for a moment. There was a tinge of animosity and jealousy in the voices she heard thrown around.
"You all know where you're from," Mandalay said, "thank you for being here tonight. The show's not over, we still got a few songs we wanna play for you. Not our songs. Give you a little room to breathe, yes? We want you alive out there. Get some water."
Live covers? They'll probably play some American stuff. And Eurodance. But in their original language? Or Japanese?
"Yeah, I wonder," Mina said, looking right at Ochako.
"Huh?"
"You just said…"
"Oh? I did it again ?" Ochako tightened her fists and growled.
"There's nothing wrong with thinking out loud," Katsuki said… wait, Katsuki said that? "Izuku does it all the time."
"Right," Izuku said, "I guess… it shows that you… have a lot on your mind. I think. I think?"
"You okay, Izuku?" Tsu asked.
"Gotta hydrate," Hanta said.
"I got some reusable bottles," Mei said, "I'll go get 'em and fill 'em up!"
"Thank you so much!" Mina patted her shoulder as she left.
Ochako felt an unmistakable smile creep up on her face, seeing everyone getting along, having a fun time. She never imagined she'd have a good time with Mei, Hitoshi, and Neito.
At some point during the show, Neito had found his way to the crowd alongside Itsuka. Shoto, Momo, Toru, and Mashirao swung by at some point, as did Nejire and Yuyu.
It was funny in hindsight. During a rather sappy love song, Mandalay gave a "shout out" to all the "young lovers in the audience." She focused a bit too long on the big group the kids had managed to form in the center of the floor. Twenty people. Ten couples. Only five were actually couples. Two had just met. One seemed complicated.
And two more were… something else.
Ochako looked to her left, right past Katsuki's smile, and was almost caught by it.
Hitoshi smiled at Izuku and Tsu standing next to each other. Really? Him too?
"Where's Kendo and Monoma?" Kousei asked, snapping both Hitoshi and Ochako out of their dazes.
Everyone looked around and shrugged.
"I hope Mei's not been giving you too much trouble," Hitoshi said, and looked straight at Kousei.
"Hm? Oh, nah, she's fine," Kousei said, his eyes fixed on the VIP area.
"Hm… good."
"So," Kousei gave up his search, "how'd you two meet?"
"After the Sports Festival I needed to pay a visit to Support…"
Ochako's focus floated across the crowd. Backs of heads. The sun was down but it was so easy to see everything in front of her. Her mind went to Tenya, who'd been lost somewhere along the way. Where was he? Backstage again? Would they be able to see him again before they, eventually, had to leave? Would Katsuki make a fuss about it?
"Ochako?" she heard Tsu ask.
"Oh? Hm?"
"Anyway," Hitoshi said, briefly looking over at Ochako, "she can't help but fall in love with every guy she meets. Except me. Not sure why that is."
"Yeah," Hanta said… and didn't follow up on, leaving everyone on a cliffhanger.
Hitoshi looked unsure whether to throw himself headfirst off the cliff, clutching at his heels all the way down.
"Hey," he said with a smile, "if Class A's ever in the business of correspondence… Class C always has their doors open."
"Where is Class C, anyway?" Tsu asked.
"Most of them couldn't afford to come. I heard you all had your tickets paid for you by a certain someone," Hitoshi pointed across the floor straight at Momo.
"I would've bought tickets if I was asked," Katsuki said.
How much of it was an act?
Hitoshi rolled his eyes in a silly way but his tone of voice was deceptively sincere.
"How are you still single?"
"No time, busy," Katsuki quickly answered before anyone else got a chance. They would probably just tease him, anyway.
But Ochako understood his reasoning. He's not into me and I'm not into him; neither of us need that or want that right now… it's fine.
"Back!" Mei shouted, dragging a big bag behind her. A bag about the size of her.
"Thanks," Katsuki said…
Ochako thought about it for far too long. Katsuki said his thanks to Mei Hatsume… Ochako never imagined doing such a thing herself. Just be polite enough, silent, and let the others do the talking. Ochako's good time had nothing to do with Mei, she was just peripheral, just so happened to be there, on the outside…
… an extra.
Is that how Katsuki saw Ochako?
What is she thinking about?
"Bakugou…"
Katsuki should've guessed the unfamiliar voice was coming from Kousei, who was pointing somewhere in the distance. Following his arm, Katsuki met eyes with Kenji Tsuragamae: talking with Neito and Itsuka in the VIP area.
"Just me, huh?" Katsuki sighed, kicking the sand around and stealing glances at Neito and Itsuka off to the side.
He had his arms crossed, feeling so cold on the inside. As if the summer heat knew to keep its distance. Like a lot of people—
"I'll talk with Midoriya and Tsuburaba on the way," Kenji said, every huff sinking his gut.
"I guess I just don't get it."
"You and I made a mistake. Aizawa and Yamada are… talking… about how to handle this. It's very… personal for them."
"You let Ms. Joke know," Katsuki mumbled.
"And All-Might, and Endeavor… they all have a right to know. They can handle this better than anyone."
Katsuki's tapping never skipped a beat. He tapped and tapped like… not like a ticking time bomb. Like a metronome.
"You look tired."
"I am."
Kenji looked at him for a while, perhaps trying to figure him out. At least, figure this moment out. Before they had this conversation, before he told him that they had to leave.
No yelling, no screaming, no shouting. No smiling, no singing, no laughing.
Everything he seemed to be before slipped out of his fingers and into the sand…
"Can we at least say goodbye?"
"I expect you to."
Katsuki stopped as the band started up once more. Slowly turning toward the crowd, he began to feel afraid of something new. Maybe he couldn't face them. Maybe he just needed to move. To get right out of there as soon as possible.
But Katsuki Bakugou faces his fears. Katsuki Bakugou tries his best, and all that he can.
And he does, marching through the sand, holding onto what waking energy he has left, to cut short this brand-new something.
Katsuki immediately notices that Ochako is nowhere to be found among all the familiar faces in the middle of the crowd of strangers.
With something like pity and hope and love, Katsuki pats Izuku on the shoulder, bearing against the loudness of the music.
"We're going," he said, "where did Ochako go?"
Tsu looked to the side, and pointed towards the ocean—the sea.
"We're really going?" she asked.
"Yeah… it's almost over anyway. Say goodbye now so we can leave."
"Just a few more songs!" Izuku shouted.
"Better be good ones," Katsuki groaned and turned to the morons who he loved so dearly.
"Aw, you're leaving?" Mina winded down her voice, and it almost killed him in more ways than one.
Denki and Kyoka offered their smiles but Katsuki would've taken more.
Were they even together? He hoped so.
"Bye Shinsou, Hatsume."
"It was nice meeting you," Kousei waved at Mei despite being right in front of her.
Katsuki pointed straight at Hitoshi, who was standing a lot closer to Hanta right about now.
"If Hanta tries anything involving melons—"
"Don't worry," Hitoshi said, wrapping an arm around his shoulder "he won't."
Hanta lightly jabbed Katsuki in the side.
"Why didn't you tell me about this guy before?"
"I always thought he was a shithead."
As Hitoshi smiled, Katsuki felt a soft tap on his shoulder. He turned to find Mina again, standing right beside Eijirou.
She offered him a hug that he was more than willing to receive. He would've even offered one himself.
He brought his voice down, just loud enough for her to hear him over the music…
"Look after Eijirou for me, please."
"Always."
…
My mom gave me my cellphone after I came back to school. When we started staying at the dorms.
She pretended like it was all just for safety. So that if I got lost or kidnapped or whatever, that I would have a way to call for help. But I never needed to.
The real reason she got me a cellphone was so that I could keep in touch with people. Mostly her and dad but… you get the idea.
Not sure where I was going with that thought. Where the hell did Ochako go?
Once again, Katsuki found himself staring off at sea. But there wasn't much about it he could describe if asked, not much about the sounds or sights or smells or feelings because all he could really focus on was the back of Ochako's head.
"Ochako…"
The sound of the music faded with every step but never went out completely. The show was about to end and the night would fall silent once more. Or as silent as the sea can let it be.
As he stood at Ochako's left, he tried focusing on the waves.
"I was hoping to see stars tonight," Ochako said.
Katsuki looked at her, and found her eyes on the sea. Not the sky.
Katsuki didn't want to believe her. Such a petty thing but it had to be a mistake. He looked up slowly at the night sky and found she was right once more. Not a single star in the sky.
And for some reason… that terrified him.
…
"If you have something to say to me," Ochako said, "then you can just say it."
The second time we talked… really talked… was some time after I came back to school. Some time after a lot of things. After the Yakuza thing, after the cultural festival, after…
I tried remembering what exactly we said. I had something to do with Izuku…
Three months ago, on a cold and rainy morning in the courtyard of Heights Alliance, Katsuki Bakugou and Ochako Uraraka became friends. In some sense of the word.
Because of course it had to do with Izuku…
Katsuki paced around the courtyard, stomping on every dead leaf in his path.
"Talk it out," he growled, "talk it out my ass."
"With how things have gone?" Ochako stomped herself around the courtyard, but much more like she actually owned the place; and Katsuki was just making a mess.
"You think I don't care about him? Is that it!?"
"No! Not at all, it's just…"
"Of course 'it's just,' it's just what-fucking-ever!"
Ochako saw no calming of the storm in sight, so she calmed herself. After a moment and a half, Katsuki calmed as well. Always a surprise with him. When Ochako incidentally leaned a tad to her right, Katsuki did as well. To test this thing out, Ochako crossed her arms. But Katsuki didn't mirror her a third time—
"What the hell are you doing? Say something!"
"You first."
"I—WHAT?! FUCK! HOW COULD YOU PRETEND TO BE SO FUCKING CALM?! DON'T YOU SEE HOW FUCKING FLAKY HE IS?!"
"Then be there for him. Bring him down to earth, kick him into shape."
Katsuki simmered, but only just a little. Baby steps.
"I'm not responsible for him," he bellowed in a shallow huff…
"Then maybe you should be."
"That's Tsuragamae's job, and All-Might's job, and Aizawa's job. He's not some class pet or something. What do you want me to do anyway? Break his bones whenever he screws up?"
"No, no, I won't let you hurt him," Ochako said, stopping for both of them to just think for a moment, "look… if it's too much to ask—"
Katsuki straightened just enough to catch Ochako in his sights like a predator to its prey.
There he was… so pissed off that he could probably kill someone and still have enough energy to still make a fuss about merely stubbing his toe.
But as she looked up at him, never giving into the anger he rubbed off on her, cool and silent as the breeze, she began to see the anger melting away from his face. For good, this time.
Without another word, she unwittingly made him crack a bit.
"I'll think about it," he said.
Ochako felt her eyes pop open, her face swell, her arms jitter, her breath escape her. But Katsuki was facing away and never noticed. And knowing how fast he could fall back on his word, she never brought up how surprised she truly was at that response. For Izuku's sake. And maybe a little for hers.
This was a victory she was not going to cede so easily.
"But you're going to have to promise me to be calm," Ochako said, "no fighting, no yelling, no pulling pranks on him… no doing anything that will turn him away from you."
Katsuki shook his head.
"I'll stay away from him. I promise."
"You don't have to stay away from him, you—"
"You heard what I said, right?"
…
"Thank you, Bakugou."
"Whatever you say, cheeks."
"Bakugou—"
"What?!"
Katsuki turned in a flash, turned on a dime, once more. If he wanted to give up and fight… here and now… Ochako would've fought. Anything for her friends. Even a mutual in need of a good ass-kicking. But only enough to kick him into shape.
"Just… call me Uraraka."
Uraraka, Katsuki thought… her name literally meant a 'beautiful or lovely day.' Something he didn't feel like repeating over and over again. But that wasn't strictly the reason he—
"Can I just call you Ochako?"
"Oh," she smiled brightly, face like the full moon again, "you mean like how Tsu—?"
"Is that a yes or no!?"
"Hm, oh, uh… sure."
"Fine… Ochako… call me whatever."
"Deku—I mean, Izuku… he—"
"Calls me Kacchan, yeah, you think I haven't noticed?"
Ochako only stared at him, like there was another thing she forgot to bring up. She stayed there for a while. But Katsuki never snapped at her to spit it out. Like he had all the time in the world. Or he was just being nice.
"I guess it doesn't matter," she said.
Real smooth, K. Dumbass.
"What are you thinking about?" Ochako asked.
"I…"
That question. The question he asked when he first called her "Moon Face." A name she told him not to call her again. Now she was asking it. What was he thinking about?
"Just wondering how we got here," he said.
"What do you mean?"
Katsuki looked in the night sky for an answer. And then he tried the sea. He could walk right into it. But he still wouldn't find an answer.
At least not one that could save him from this moment. Especially with the clock running.
"You know we gotta go?"
"Go? Oh, right… I know, I just…"
"You know?"
"I mean… Kendo told me. They're going home too. I just… I wanted to see the stars tonight. That's all."
It didn't take an emotional stethoscope to hear that there was something really bothering her. But Katsuki… didn't ask. Maybe he didn't care. But he never meant for that to—
"Maybe I just don't care," just came out.
"Yeah, I guess I'm just weird."
Katsuki took caution by the balls once more and threw that fucker into the stratosphere.
"Hey! Don't make this a competition! I can be pretty freakin' weird."
"No," was what she said, in a tone still low enough to break his heart just a fracture more.
"Huh?"
"You're not really sentimental… I'm sorry if I am."
Caution was far gone, somewhere in outer space, in the deep high dark that Katsuki buried his eyes into. No matter how hard he searched, he couldn't find a hint of it. And if being sappy about it was going to get Ochako any closer to a smile than by all means he would do it.
"I guess I am…"
"Am what?"
"Like the sky."
What exactly did he mean by that? Ochako thought about it for a really long time. Too long for comfort. The clock was running out, after all. The sounds of the concert continued, just now coming into earshot as she remembered it was ongoing. How focused she'd been on the horizon. A horizon she could not—
"Or rather… I'm lost in the sky. I don't know why. It's like… I don't have a clue."
"I guess not," Ochako kept ever-focused on the sea.
This is stupid, Katsuki thought. But he kept going just to spite it.
He followed her eyes once more… and thought… the way she looked at it was like the way he and Izuku and Tsuyu looked at the sea on Thursday. Like they were searching for something that wasn't there. Lost at sea.
Thursday. Before Friday. Before the talk with Tsu.
And this morning. The talk with Mina. Eyes on the horizon.
Maybe there was something in there that he could grasp at. Tightly. Squeeze as much 'meaning' out of it as possible. Anything to give to Ochako. Anything at all.
"I guess I'm just optimistic," he finally found… a reason? To look up at the sky?
"Oh," he was surprised to hear Ochako say, "yeah, you don't give up easily."
To look up at the sky?
Ochako… wasn't looking up at the sky. She was looking down at the sea. Like Thursday.
And the wave came. Something in the sea made him want to take her by the hand and tell her that she'd be just fine. To force her to look up at the sky and see what he saw. A bright and beautiful blue—
Sky.
Well… the sky is always black at night. But the ocean is blue—
Oh…
Ochako's eyes never moved from the sea. Katsuki's eyes never moved from the sky.
Where had Ochako gone? The Ochako Katsuki once knew? The one who almost beat him at the Sports Festival? The one who basically forced him to make peace with Izuku? The one who… who…
As much as Katsuki tried he couldn't think. How much did he actually know about Ochako?
Did he really know the real Ochako Uraraka?
They had plenty in common! Just… something! Anything! Anything.
Katsuki no longer felt tired. He felt confused. Like the last twenty or forty or a thousand thoughts meant nothing. Just words. Words between him and Ochako. Words between him and himself. A war between him and Ochako. A war between him and himself. And he wondered if she felt the same way:
Confused.
So Katsuki stepped back. Cleared his head… and breathed:
Ochako's eyes never moved from the sea.
Katsuki's eyes never moved from the sky.
The sea and sky meet at the horizon.
So that's where he looked.
It's… hard to tell where the sea ends and the sky starts. Maybe I can find a reflection in the water… from the moon.
The moon.
…
Katsuki never found the moon.
…
"Ochako."
"Yeah?"
…
"I wanna tell you something. But I don't know if I can say it."
She didn't know exactly why, but that was just enough for Ochako to throw her own caution to the wind. Grab it by the hand, float in on up, up, and away. And never say "release."
"Tsu said she thinks you like me. I wanna hear it from you. If it's true."
"That's not… that's not what I was going to say but…"
"It's not true, then, is it?"
Finally, Ochako looked at him. It was exactly the face he was expecting. A face he could not bear to look at. So he didn't.
"I only ever lied to you once, Ochako."
Ochako rolled her eyes, giving so much more leeway to the idea of him being a liar than what was worth. Barely an inch. He was arrogant, selfish, antagonistic, haughty, uppity, contemptuous, bullish, abrasive, downright cruel.
But never a liar.
"Tell me the truth and we can go."
…
"The reason why I called you 'Moon Face.'"
"What? What are you—?"
'But, uh, what's with the new nickname? It's not… so bad. It's kinda—'
'What?! It's just a dumb name for your dumb face, dumbass! What's big and round and annoying as fuck? The moon. Just like your face!'
For all that Ochako knew Katsuki to be. Everything. Even the parts he kept hidden away. Especially the parts he kept hidden away. She knew she didn't want to hear the reason. It scared her.
But asking him not to tell her scared her even more.
So she forced herself to listen.
"When you told me to make nice with Izuku… you were right. I was afraid. But… the way you told me… I just didn't expect it, okay? I didn't expect you to be so… I don't know how to fucking describe it. It was like you turned the lights off and all I could see was your face. You wanted me to apologize so badly and it scared me so fucking much, I just… it reminded me of the moon, okay? It's not that complicated."
Ochako… didn't have to ask… why he lied. With every stilted breath he forced out his confession, clinging to his knees.
But the breath he found after saying "it's not that complicated" was worth so much more than what he lost by holding it in.
He waited one year to tell the truth. The only lie he ever told her.
She took another glance at him. Ever so briefly, but just long enough to see his eyes.
"I missed the moon tonight," he said, trying so hard to keep his voice calm.
Over the course of the song the band continued to play, Katsuki rose to his feet once more, letting go of his knees.
"I do like you, Ochako. I'm tired of pretending I don't. And being so… afraid of it. And I don't care if I'm weird for it. We're all pretty fucking weird. Like, seriously, what the hell does Ojiro see in Hagakure—?"
"Okay! I get it!"
Ochako's actually kinda cute when she tries being scary.
And once again, there was a big, fat, unmistakable, unshakable grin on Katsuki's face.
"How did we get here?" Ochako asked.
A question so beautifully simple with an answer so beautifully complex.
Katsuki could hear the crowd shouting out for an encore in the distance, and heard Mandalay's voice crackling through it all. The show was about to end. One last song.
One last song was all he needed… to explain how life stepped on his chest.
…
"When I was kidnapped… the villains took me to this place, a bar, in Yokohama. I know I always come off as so… fearless. Like nothing affects me. But I was so fucking scared. Whether they hurt me, whether they killed me, I wasn't going to be a villain…"
Katsuki stumbled into that word… 'villain.' Like he wasn't sure what it meant.
One last song was all he needed… to explain how life spat in his face…
"They tied me to a chair. For four days… all I had to look at was a window. All I could do to stay fucking sane was look up… at the moon."
… and taunted him for missing the first punch.
…
…
But life seemed to forget who the fuck it was messing with.
"I wasn't going to let the last thing I said to you… be something that made you cry. That's what got me through it. A shitty nickname that you told me never to call you again."
And despite the moon not shining in the sky tonight, Katsuki kept his head up. And looked anyway… and waited for Ochako to say anything.
"You can call me 'Moon Face' if you want. It's not so bad. It's kinda cute, actually."
And that would have to do.
"Yeah, I'll come up with something better."
"Thank you."
"For what?"
…
"Trying your best."
Katsuki found another smile on his face, so much warmer now that he knew she was smiling with him. He shook some dead weight off him and took a single side-step to his right.
Moonless sky. But why look in the sky when the moon was right here? The moon in the sky looks so bright, so warm, so close. But the moon is far, often cold, often dark, nothing but a pile of rocks.
Ochako is so much closer, yet so much farther.
It takes about three days to get from the Earth to the moon.
Katsuki has stopped counting the days.
"Too bad the moon's not out tonight," Ochako said.
"Yeeaaah, but probably for the best."
"Oh… um… why?"
Katsuki blanked, but his cheeks certainly didn't.
"Uh, well, shit… well, uh, fuck—"
"Katsuki, c'mon."
"Well," Katsuki rubbed the back of his neck, "if the moon was out tonight I… would've waited for you to say something like… 'the moon's really pretty tonight,' and uh… I'd say…"
Ochako looked at him.
"Not as pretty as you," he said, against all nerves, "god, that sounded stupid."
"There's always another night."
Katsuki didn't ask, but he hoped that was a promise.
"You're weird," he said, "we should get going."
"Okay… weirdo."
Katsuki and Ochako turned away from the sea once more, one again finding themselves face-to-face with the grand promise of summer:
Adventure. Mischief. Something more. Music. And not just the kind that comes out of a six-string guitar. The other music. The kind that takes so much more time and effort, but can never be perfected. The kind that can played in so many ways but sounds the same no matter how you play it.
Love.
As the final song of the concert played them out, Ochako couldn't help but notice as Tsu gently took Izuku's hand into hers.