Disclaimer: I (sadly) don't own any of these characters, they are all J.Ks
and Warner Bros,
It was a dark, dark night and everyone was sleeping. Whist in the depths of the forbidden forest a gang of gangster hippogriffs were playing 'go fish'.
" Got any twos?"
"Nah blood, gotta add in ya bling bling man"
"Oi!" said the notorious criminal mastermind, formally know as 'Big Steve' as he looked up through the cloud of cigar smoke and adjusted his bandanna.
"Its Hagrid! Yo bro, how's it hangin' I a'int seen you in time!" 'Loud and Lairy Larry', clapped a high five with Hagrid.
"Yer" said Hagrid gruffly, "listen, can I like.er" His eyes flicked down to the large sovereign ring on Larry's claw. "well can I borrow you for a.um.class, tomorrow? Only the kids, they ain't see an 'ippogriffe before."
The hippogriffs stood up, knocking over the table. Hagrid shrank back.
"You talking breeze mate, you want a load a kids stroking us, n gawpin?"
Hagrid nodded slightly, his eyes darted shiftily around.
"Yeah, ok, we'll do it. We get somewhere to sleep? Its chappin' out here"
Hagrid breathed out a sigh of relief. The hippogriffs swaggered out of the forest behind Hagrid, spitting on the floor now and again for effect.
"This is more like it" said Big Steve. " This would be like my home from home, but it hasn't got my 'Crazy Paving'."
The hippogriffs stayed there for the next day, then at dusk next day, 'Bangin' Kurt' suggested a dance contest, to keep them occupied. Hagrid approved of this idea and set up a small mat behind his hut. He also creatively stuck candles to flobberworms to act as lights.
Big Steve was first to go, he span round on his back, flipping back on his hooves, then he stopped.
"We need some tunes. Hagrid my man, you do the rap"
"Er ok" said Hagrid, "I'll be right back"
He disappeared into his hut and emerged two minutes later with a black leather jacket, gold chain and a backwards cap on.
" Kurt, you be the beat box"
"Word man," He put a wing across his beak and. "boom chi boom boom chi."
" A 'prof come up to me, right, he was old n wrinkly and his beard were all white, He said Hagrid I know what you can do, 'cause I trust in you, you're my man, I'm the only one, so listen up. So I follows him up to his deck, there was a case a lager and a bird with a..neck (?) He says Hagrid, this ain't no joke, stand on the fire, the rooms full of smoke. But now lets get down, there's a giant squid, something happened and he flipped his lid! so I need a big bloke like you, with arms like you, you need to help me and save the school! So I nodded, what do I have to do I ask? But then he ripped off his face, It were a mask! I've got you now! said Voldy ,the oldie, slightly mouldy With you I can destroy the school from inside, now gimme somewhere to hide, I ain't got no body. I'm gonna wipe away all of ya brain, make you real plain, now this ain't no game. Ill take over the world, mwa-diddly-ha!!! I said Voldy, ya need to go to bed! then I got a machete and cut off his head! Bring it y'all! "
It was a dark, dark night and everyone was sleeping. Whist in the depths of the forbidden forest a gang of gangster hippogriffs were playing 'go fish'.
" Got any twos?"
"Nah blood, gotta add in ya bling bling man"
"Oi!" said the notorious criminal mastermind, formally know as 'Big Steve' as he looked up through the cloud of cigar smoke and adjusted his bandanna.
"Its Hagrid! Yo bro, how's it hangin' I a'int seen you in time!" 'Loud and Lairy Larry', clapped a high five with Hagrid.
"Yer" said Hagrid gruffly, "listen, can I like.er" His eyes flicked down to the large sovereign ring on Larry's claw. "well can I borrow you for a.um.class, tomorrow? Only the kids, they ain't see an 'ippogriffe before."
The hippogriffs stood up, knocking over the table. Hagrid shrank back.
"You talking breeze mate, you want a load a kids stroking us, n gawpin?"
Hagrid nodded slightly, his eyes darted shiftily around.
"Yeah, ok, we'll do it. We get somewhere to sleep? Its chappin' out here"
Hagrid breathed out a sigh of relief. The hippogriffs swaggered out of the forest behind Hagrid, spitting on the floor now and again for effect.
"This is more like it" said Big Steve. " This would be like my home from home, but it hasn't got my 'Crazy Paving'."
The hippogriffs stayed there for the next day, then at dusk next day, 'Bangin' Kurt' suggested a dance contest, to keep them occupied. Hagrid approved of this idea and set up a small mat behind his hut. He also creatively stuck candles to flobberworms to act as lights.
Big Steve was first to go, he span round on his back, flipping back on his hooves, then he stopped.
"We need some tunes. Hagrid my man, you do the rap"
"Er ok" said Hagrid, "I'll be right back"
He disappeared into his hut and emerged two minutes later with a black leather jacket, gold chain and a backwards cap on.
" Kurt, you be the beat box"
"Word man," He put a wing across his beak and. "boom chi boom boom chi."
" A 'prof come up to me, right, he was old n wrinkly and his beard were all white, He said Hagrid I know what you can do, 'cause I trust in you, you're my man, I'm the only one, so listen up. So I follows him up to his deck, there was a case a lager and a bird with a..neck (?) He says Hagrid, this ain't no joke, stand on the fire, the rooms full of smoke. But now lets get down, there's a giant squid, something happened and he flipped his lid! so I need a big bloke like you, with arms like you, you need to help me and save the school! So I nodded, what do I have to do I ask? But then he ripped off his face, It were a mask! I've got you now! said Voldy ,the oldie, slightly mouldy With you I can destroy the school from inside, now gimme somewhere to hide, I ain't got no body. I'm gonna wipe away all of ya brain, make you real plain, now this ain't no game. Ill take over the world, mwa-diddly-ha!!! I said Voldy, ya need to go to bed! then I got a machete and cut off his head! Bring it y'all! "