Chapter 3: Legolas and the Magical Kiss, part one

I was about half way through the next fanfic, when I heard a beeping noise coming from somewhere under my bed.

"Legolas…"

The elf didn't even twitch. Math can do that to a fellow.

"*Sigh* Boromir…"

I could have saved my breath. Boromir was already digging through all the junk under my bed. In a matter of seconds, he was out holding my cellphone.

"Thanks, Boromir. Geez, how the hell did that get there?"

Boromir shrugged, "No idea."

"Whatever…" I pressed the 'Yes' button. "Hello?"

"Hi, Odeena? It's Paul. Look, I--"

"Sorry, you dialed the wrong number." Before the caller got to say anything else, I closed the link, then I tossed my cellphone back under the bed. I knew I had a good reason for keeping it there.

Then I noticed Boromir staring at me. Legolas was still busy with my homework.

"Let's just say I don't feel too talkative, OK?"

He shrugged. "Okay. But, just out of curiosity – who called you?"

"My ex-boyfriend, who would do anything to make up with me. Even calling me at – I looked at my watch – nearly three in the morning."

I liked Boromir's face when I said 'ex-boyfriend'. He was all like, 'Wow, you actually dumped someone?' Gotta love it.

"And I believe that you would not talk to him, or see him anymore?"

"Actually, I see him quite a lot, seeing as we're in the same class. And about the talking part… well, he leaves me at least twenty messages a day, calls me and sends me emails and SMSs as often as it gets. Besides that, we're assigned on the same science project together."

"Your boyfriend is – was – a geek?"

Boromir was extremely surprised. You must understand the guy; back in Gondor, nearly all men are soldiers or merchants. Science is left to women; therefor, any science man is considered a wimp. A concept with which I had come to agree in time.

"Yes. Now be quiet, I have a fanfic to write, and Legolas has my homework to do. You're jamming him."

"No, he's not."

"Shut up, Legolas."

"But--"

"Shut up, Boromir."

"…"

"Good."

And sure enough, ten minutes enough, the fanfic was done. Well, the first part anyway… This time though, both Legolas and Boromir knew what to expect.

Or, at least, they thought so.

"Okay guys, here it goes. But before that – Legolas, promise you won't freak out?"

"Should I?"

"Never mind, promise me."

"Okay, I promise."

"And Boromir, promise you won't crack up?"

"I'll try not to."

"Okay then. Listen up."

Legolas and the Magical Kiss

~ part one ~

Last Request

"My son, today I must ask of you a task of tremendous importance."

When King Thranduil begun a talk like that, it was obvious that he would demand something either impossible, embarrassing, or both.

"Yes, Father." Frankly, Legolas Greenleaf had little else to say.

"As you may recall, a fortnight ago, Gandalf the Gray brought to us a foul creature named Gollum."

"Yes, Father." And what does that have to do with me? thought Legolas irritatedly.

"Gandalf left us very precise instructions on how to treat this creature. Therefor, tomorrow at down, Gollum will be given as a sacrifice to Elbereth and Giltoniel."

"Since when do we offer sacrifices to Elbereth and Giltoniel? And didn't Gangalf tell us not to harm Gollum in any way?"

Thranduil hmm-ed. "No, I am certain he told us that we should harm him."

You missed the 'not', thought Legolas. In truth, Thranduil's hearing was waning; however, not even Sauron himself could have made the king admit it.

I still fail to see the point, thought Legolas. "And?" the prince asked impatiently.

"By our tradition, one that has been sentenced to death can make one last request."

"And?"

"His request, my son, was – a kiss. From you."

Legolas choked, then begun to cough violently. Thranduil patted him hard on the back, but it didn't seem to help. The world seemed to be going darker by the minute, and, before he even realised what was going on, Legolas Greenleaf passed out.

End of part one.

Again, all I got at first were blank stares. Boromir was trying very, very hard not to crack up. Legolas just stared at me. The look on his face made me want to crack up.

"Um… guys?"

"My father's hearing is not waning", said Legolas finally. "And I would never, ever, ever, ever kiss Gollum. Or pass out like that."

"Thanks for pointing that out, elf. You wanted a story, you got yourself one."

"Two", Boromir emphasized.

"Of course, I still have to write the second part…"

"No! Don't!"

Boromir and I snickered alltogether. Legolas looked horrified.

"Please, PLEASE don't make me kiss Gollum! Anyone but him! Pleeease!"

"Hmm… anyone?"

Legolas frowned. "Damn. Shouldn't have said that."

"Okay, elf. No kissing Gollum. But – you'll still have to kiss someone. In the fanfic, I mean."

"How about I kiss you in real life and you drop the whole fanfic thing?"

Boromir chocked in a last attempt to stiffle his laughter.

"You, kissing me? I don't think so."

"A lot of girls in this world would want it", said Legolas. "Think about it."

"No."

"Okay, but you don't know what you're missing."

"Yes I know. An embarassing moment."

Legolas glared, "Whaddya mean?"

"I've never kissed before, and I have no idea how to do it. Now be quiet while I write the second part of the story."

"Be brave, young elf", said Boromir mockingly. "It's all for the best."

"Yeah, I am so sure." With that, Legolas went back to his homework, and I started writing again. Boromir went downstairs to get more cookies.

__________

A/N: Here's another chapter! Yet another evil fanfic… and the second part is definitely gonna be… well, let's just say, 'interesting'. Wouldn't want to spoil the surprise. Okay, for a minor spoiler… Legolas gets a date. Tehee… Anyway, thanks for all your reviews – this is my most reviewed fanfic ever! Special thanks go to:

orlandoluv: Wow, you sent a review to each chapter! Thanks! As you can see, I updated – more coming soon! J

hAdOwCat: Thanks for reviewing!

Crystalline4: Thanks! Since lots of people seem to be interested in my 'Faramir-and-the-cake' story, I'll definitely post it as a chapter of this story. I just need to find a good introduction for it.