Author's Notes: Glad to see everyone's being amused by this- also, I take no responsibility for anyone's ears who are damaged by Mukotsu's singing.
Songs used: 1- "The Prince is Having a Ball" (R & H version)
2- "The Work Song" (Disney)
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Act II-
As the royal carriage pulled up to the front of the castle, a short man came running out.
"Prince! Prince, where have you been? Your parents want to see you."
Bankotsu looked up with a smile, seeing his family's personal servant stumbling down the marble staircase.
"Mukotsu, I told you I was going out."
He paused at the base of the stairs, catching his breath. "I know that. I had to lie to your parents again about where you were. Why must you constantly do this?"
"I had a lovely day today, no one treated me like a Prince. What a relief to be among real people." He replied, walking inside.
The short-man frowned, following, "Listen to me. I am a real person, does that tell you anything? Believe me, they're all out there wishing to be you."
"That's just because they don't know what it's really like…"
"Okay, I must be missing something- you're rich, live in a giant castle, have woman throwing themselves at your feet…is there something I'm not getting?" Mukotsu exclaimed, scurrying down the hallways behind him.
Bankotsu sighed and shook his head. "Trust me Mukotsu, if I could get all those giggly princesses to go after you instead of me. I would."
He paused in his room and grabbed up some of his more princely attire, beginning to pull the shirt on.
"But really, your highness. You must stop going out like this. I can't keep lying to your parents- they have laws against that!" Mukotsu looked up, realizing that he'd already left the room. He sighed to himself, "If he wants to kill me- why doesn't he just use Banryuu and get it over with rather than tempting the fates like this…"
Making his way into the throne room, Bankotsu paused to fix his shirt before entering.
"You wanted to speak with me?"
His Father sat next to a pale black-haired woman who was delicately working on a piece of pottery.
The Queen looked up, "Son, about tonight…Well, it's very simple, we want you to find a bride, tonight."
"I know, Father already…"
"It's just that someday, this kingdom will be yours." She continued, standing.
"Not that soon, Kikyou…" Suikotsu added, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Listen, I know it sounds silly, but I guess I have this idea that I want to be in love when I get married. You know, like you were." Bankotsu replied, rubbing the back of his head nervously.
"We were?" Suikotsu asked innocently.
Kikyou smacked him on the back of the head, "You weren't yourself then, dear. Ask your other side and perhaps then you'll remember."
"Oh." The King said quietly, trying to remember.
"Anyways, son. Since we want to help you along on your little quest to find a bride, we went ahead and decided it might be best to just invite everyone in the kingdom." The Queen said, pulling out a long list of names.
"Mother…"
"You know, just four hundred, five hundred people…" She noted, estimating the number on the list.
"But Mom…"
"You're bound to find someone that way." The scroll snapped closed, dramatically.
"Mom! Now just a minute…"
"What? Suikotsu, what's he saying?" Kikyou stammered, looking between her son and her husband.
"I think he's upset we're taking this into our hands and having another ball." Suikotsu explained simply.
"No he's not!" She retorted.
"Here we go again…" Bankotsu sighed, used to his parents little arguments.
"Dear, maybe we should just…" Suikotsu said, trying to reason with her.
"Don't you give me that! No going softy on me now. Last night in bed you swore that you'd go through with this on me… don't make me…"
"Now Kikyou, let's not go there…"
She frowned, slowly reaching into the bodice of her elaborate gown.
"Kikyou, Dear…" He said, holding up his hands in some attempt to stop her.
She started to pull something out…
"Now sweetheart, this isn't necessary…."
And handed it to him. He looked at it and fainted.
Bankotsu sighed. "Did you have to give him your bloody handkerchief again?"
Kikyou gave an icy smile, "Now son, about tonight. I expect you to come, dressed nicely and find yourself a bride. It's that simple. Am I making myself clear?" She paused, "Bankotsu? Bankotsu?"
"He left, your majesty." Mukotsu said standing by the doorway.
"Ah, Mukotsu. Good that you're here. I need to you take this down." She said handing him a quill and scroll.
"Yes, your majesty." He muttered, taking them from her.
"A proclamation from the Prince…"
"Um, I couldn't help but overhear, and well, he didn't sound like he was…."
"Mukotsu." She glared, a strange white-serpent like creature hovering above her, "Take this down."
He sighed, "Yes, your majesty."
"As I was saying…" She began, only to have Suikotsu stop her.
"Weren't you supposed to be singing it?"
She glared, "Fine. As I was singing…"
Clearing her throat she began.
"His royal highness,
Bankotsu Kusao, Jiiken Chouken, Kawaii Koneko, Sekushii Iroaku, Wontetto Neikiddo…"
"Neikiddo?" Mukotsu paused to question.
"Neikiddo." She replied before singing the last part, "Hebi Aikouka- Is giving a ball!"
(Subtitles- Bankotsu Kusao, Real Powerful Long Sword, Cute Kitten, Sexy Handsome Villain, Wanted Naked, Snake Lover.)
----Scene Change!---
Back in the marketplace, Mukotsu came to deliver the news…which means a reprise of the song (feel free to hold your ears while Mukotsu attempts to sing…)
"His royal highness, Bankotsu Kusao, son of her majesty, Queen Kikyou Warenabe, Bodi Nendozukuri, Moroni Deddo…"
Renkotsu looked up from the hideous hat he was examining, and questioned, "Deddo?"
"Deddo," Mukotsu replied before continuing to 'sing,' "Nisou- Is giving a ball!"
(Subtitles: Queen Kikyou Cracked Pot, Body Made of Clay, Completely Dead, Priestess.)
And as any good chorus members in a musical should, the random townspeople all burst into song, "The Prince is giving a ball! The Prince is giving a ball!"
(And now for random cameos during the chorus, so we don't have to hear Renkotsu sing….)
"Did you hear the news that's going 'round- The Prince is giving a ball." Sango sang as she rushed over to Kagome.
"I heard he has to choose a bride- he might find one at the ball." The girl sang in return.
"There's something strange about that Prince…" Miroku commented from behind them.
"I bet he's actually gay…" Shippou noted.
"Then just have a gender switch- The Prince is giving a ball!" The rest of the chorus finished, going into an elaborate dance number that obviously took hours of choreography to perfect.
As the music builds, Mukotsu goes back gathering various foods and goods for the ball; finally, he begins to 'sing' again as he checks off the supplies,
"His royal highness,
200 daisies, 400 violets, 600 clovers, 800 roses,
Bankotsu Kusao,
1000 cherries, 2000 apples,
Jiiken, Chouken,
Kawaii Koneko,
Strawberry, Blueberry,
Raspberry, Gooseberry,
Sekushii Iroaku, Wontetto Neikiddo,
Son of her majesty, Queen Kikyou Warenabe,
Roost Beef and Gravy,
Bodi Nendozukuri,
Wife to his majesty,
King Suikotsu Raion,
Nekote Tekagi,
Nijuujinakaku."
(Subtitles: King Suikotsu Lion, Cats Claws/ Tigers Claws (like his weapons people…), Double Personality.)
The townspeople all paused, "Nijuujin- what?!"
"Nijuujinakaku," He replied, before everyone finished off the song.
"Is giving a ball!"
Looking up from where he stood amidst the musical chaos, Jakotsu made one comment as if he hadn't been listening to the last five minutes of song, "The Prince is giving a ball."
----Scene Change!----
Back at the house, Renkotsu rushed about finding various dresses, accessories and makeup.
"Okay boys, it's simple- we dress our finest, get the Prince to choose one of us as his bride, hide our little flaws until after the wedding, and then… oops, the Prince will have a little accident."
"We're gonna kill him?" Kyoukotsu asked scratching his head.
"No, you idiot. He's going to have an accident and die." Renkotsu yelled.
"Then what do we do?" The not-so-bright son questioned.
The step-father ran a hand down his face, "Then we will be the only heirs to the throne."
"Yesh, but I don't want to kiss a guy…." Ginkotsu noted.
"You will deal with the kiss at the wedding, if he chooses you. Just tell him you're shy if he pushes things any further.."
Jakotsu frowned on overhearing the conversation, "Marriage is supposed to be about love…"
"Shut up you little good-for-nothing. Marriage isn't about love it's about power. Power's all that matters and love is just a tool to get the sap to hand over the money. Now run along, we have things to do…"
The boy turned, then paused, "Step-father… the proclamation said, everyone in the kingdom was to attend… so that means that I…."
Renkotsu walked over and slapped him across the face, "Impertinent brat, I don't care if they ordered me to bring you by name, you aren't going and that's final."
"But…Step-father…"
"What? You think that the Prince is going to take one look at you and fall in love? Is that it? Ha! That young boy knows nothing about love, let alone will he fall for some freak like you. Now, unless you want to sleep outside again, you best get back to your chores."
Jakotsu balled his fist, resisting the urge to strike back, "Are you afraid of me?" He muttered.
"What did you say?"
"You're just afraid that the Prince will choose me over you and your sons, that's all it is." He dared.
Renkotsu narrowed his eyes, "Well then, Jakotsu. I'll make you a little deal- you get all your chores for the entire week done, help us get ready and find something presentable to wear and then, you can come along and try your best to win the Prince's heart. How's that?"
Knowing that was the best he was going to get, Jakotsu agreed and went about finishing up all his chores. While scrubbing away at the main room's marble floor, he decided it was time to sing an appropriately fitting little tune…
"That Renkotsu's at it every minute
No matter what, he'll just begin it
Stupid Baldy, Stupid Baldy
Stupid Baldy!
Stupid Baldy, stupid baldy,
How I hate that stupid baldy.
Always ugly, always bitchy,
Always cheating always witchy.
And he's rude and he's cruel,
He always keeps me working,
While he squanders all my money,
Acting very, very nicely,
But under all
He really just a stupid baldy!"
Jakotsu sighed as he flung down the rag, lifting up the bucket and heading back up to his room.
He paused when he heard the sharp voice calling out his name, "Jakotsu! Jakotsu get down here."
"Great, I'll never have a chance to fix that dress at this rate…" He muttered, trudging towards the demanding voice.
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Act III preview:
Renkotsu gets his hideous self ready for the ball- complete with fishnets! Jakotsu struggles to get his dress ready in time and Bankotsu begins to wonder if his parents are sane. All this and more, next time. ^^