Would You Like Fries With That?

Chapter One

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This is my first attempt at a humor fic. I feel that I'm horrible at humor, but I needed something else to write besides my depressing-angsty-drama-stuff that I write all the time. -sigh- Anyway, my friend gave me the idea when we were at lunch and chatting about possible plots. Then, she said the words that led to the creation of this: "What if Hiei was forced to work at a McDonald's?" It just took off from there.

The first couple of chapters are pre-written; by the time this chapter is posted, my friend and I have probably have started writing Chap. 5. I'll probably update weekly, maybe more or less than that, depending on school, moods, etc.

Disclaimer: I do not own YYH or any of the characters in it. The characters that appear later belong to themselves. I was originally going to have Hiei work at McDonald's, but I don't want to get sued, so we changed the name to something else.

Warnings: Randomness, OOC-ness, fangirl attacks in later chapters.

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One sunny day in Ningenkai, everything seemed to be going well. The sun was shining, birds were singing, people were smiling and laughing, and quarrels were nonexistent. There was no school, for it was a weekend, yet everything seemed to be in perfect harmony.

Today was not that day.

Hiei Jaganshi was sitting in his tree, minding his own business. The birds were silent, clouds blocked the sun, and most people were off at school, including Kurama. He liked it without the others around; they got on his nerves sometimes. However, things got a little dull without them, and he thought about stopping at Genkai's temple to visit Yukina, but decided against it. He decided to enjoy the silence while it lasted.

The silence didn't last long. A loud yell erupted throughout the park as a girl riding an oar flew down from the sky, her face contorted in a ^______^-like expression. Her cerulean hair held up in a ponytail whipped across her face, and her violet eyes were full of emotion. She came to a stop next to the tree and got off, looking up at the fire youkai.

Annoyed, Hiei glared down at the ferry-girl. In reaction, Botan's expression changed from happy-hyper-FUN!!! to one of nervousness and fright.

"Uh...sorry to disturb you, but Koenma has a new assignment for you!" Botan chirped, her voice the same as always: chipper, happy, and high-pitched.

Hiei winced from the sheer annoyance of her voice. "Hn. What does he want? And why is he asking me and not the detective, the fox, or the baka?"

"He's not asking anybody else because he thinks that you're the best pick for this job."

"And why is that?"

She shrugged. "No idea. Anyway, there's a demon working at a human fast-food restaurant who is putting magic in the food that makes the consumers his slaves. Your task is the work there, find out who he is, stop him, and apprehend him."

"Sounds easy enough. Should I go there now?"

"No, not yet. You need the uniform first." And with that, Botan tossed some clothes to him that were - oh, horrors! - Purple!!

Hiei immediately twitched because of the color, but his expression - an irritated one at first - turned to one of disgust when he saw the clothes in all their glory. The shirt was short-sleeved with a chest pocket on the left, and a little silver "O" on the other side. The pants were a simple black color. But the worst part of it was that there was...are you ready...a HAT!

He stared at the uniform in disbelief before he glared at Botan again, his red eyes blazing. "Do I HAVE to wear this?" he hissed.

"Bingo!" Her face was back in its normal happy expression, a grin plastered on her face.

Hiei stared at the clothes again, then closed his eyes and counted to ten, hoping that they would look somewhat nicer when he reopened them. Alas, when he opened his eyes, they were still there, as purple and black and hat-ish as ever.

"Do I REALLY have to wear this?" he asked again, his voice even more venomous.

"Yep!" Botan replied cheerily, but there was a nervous edge to her reply, and small sweatdrops were forming on the back of her head.

Hiei didn't notice, as he was busy sticking his fingers in his ears to block out Botan's screech. He took a deep breath and looked at her again, his stare almost at the point of one of his infamous death glares. "Do you have to be so cheery all the time?"

"Of course!"

The fire youkai fumed. He was almost getting to the point where if he didn't...ah...let out his stress fast, he would blow up. "Can you turn your voice down just a little bit?" he growled.

"Nope!"

When Hiei reached for his katana, Botan finally got the point and jumped on her oar, just missing getting her arm hacked off. Slightly relieved, the unfortunate demon leaned back on his tree and was about to take another nap when he realized that Botan never told him where exactly he had to work. He would have to chase her down and ask her.

Poor Hiei.

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Blah, this was a short chapter. X_x The next ones are longer, though, and better.

Next chapter: Hiei finally gets to the fast-food restaurant of doom! Its name is O'Christopher's, but there's something strange about the workers there, and who knew how hard it would be to put a hat on?

Review, please! ^_^