Chapter 9
~~*Two Brunettes and a Pizza Hut*~~
As soon as they were out of the shop Two rounded on his brother,
"What's the matter with you these days?" he asked.
One gave him a blank look and replied.
"What do you mean? There's nothing 'the matter' with me at all?"
"Could've fooled me" murmured Two.
"What was that?"
"It's just that under any other circumstance you could've taken on those cops and made sure Estelle didn't get away. So why was this time different?"
One shrugged "I guess she must know some tricks from the Merovingian."
They ran the length of the shopping mall, retracing their steps the way they'd come until they reached the exit.
"Oh great!" moaned Two
"What? What is it?" said One as he caught up.
"They've locked the doors!"
"And?" smirked One
"And what?" replied Two "We're locked in. There's no way out!"
One sighed. "When will you ever learn? Come on. There's the fire exit over there." They dashed outside to the car park, tumble into the car and drove off in the direction of the motorway.
There was silence all the way down the motorway and finally One could stand it no longer. He felt he just had to say something, anything. He turned to his brother "Remember the incident with the two girls in the cinema?" he said.
Two grimaced. "Yes. And I don't thank you for bringing that up" he said through gritted teeth.
"Oh lighten up. Everyone has to have a weak point. Yours just happens to be getting your date and her sister mixed up!"
"No I didn't. That's not how I remember it!"
"Well I remember it going something like this. You went out with your date at 7 o clock to the cinema and I just happened to be going the same way as you so-"
"You followed us?"
"No. There just happened to be a great pizza place next to the cinema. I didn't really want to spend the evening with only our lodging rat for company did I? Anyway, I went to get the pizza and watched you and your date go into the cinema. When I came out, I saw your date getting out of a taxi then I realised it wasn't her. She had a blue coat on; this other had a red jacket."
"Carry on." urged Two
"So. I dumped the pizza in the car and followed this girl in, only to find she was going to the exact same movie as you. I bought her a ticket and sat down with her; just as the film was about to start. Then I spotted you on the row in front with your arm round your date. It almost brought a tear to my eye!"
"Shut up" scowled Two.
"Who's telling this story? About an hour into the film and typically just as it was getting interesting, you got up and being the nice, considerate brother I am, I followed you out to see if you were ok. You went to the toilet so I waited on a seat then you came out and didn't even notice me! I was so offended you didn't notice your own brother and I probably missed the best part of the film too.
Two laughed. "I did notice you. I just wanted to make you feel annoyed. Call it payback for following me. And from what I remember, there were no seats outside the toilets, only a large plant and I distinctly remember you hiding behind that."
One cleared his throat, failing to disguise a feeling of embarrassment and continued.
"I followed your back inside the cinema and then, dear brother, I enjoyed one of the best moments of my life. You sat down next to the other girl who I was with and then she kissed you!"
"This is not funny."
"It was for me. And it's about one of the only times I've ever pulled a girl."
Two grinned. "Ah, but you didn't. She kissed me!"
"Ah, but I did. I was the one sitting next to her, remember? But being the brother I am I knew I had to get you out of there before either of them realised what was going on. I ran up to where they play the film and the guy there was asleep. So I reached over him and stopped the film. Then I dashed back into the cinema and there was uproar. I still believe I must've stopped the film at an important part from the noise everyone was making. You'd have thought something terrible had happened"
"But it had" corrected Two "You stopped the very film I'd been wanting to see for ages!"
"Will you stop interrupting? Anyway, in the confusion, I grabbed you away from the girl who thankfully had not noticed you weren't me and was busy arguing with her neighbour about the sudden halt in the entertainment. Your date on the other hand was looking frantically around for you so I dragged you out the back door before anyone, especially your date, could notice. Once we were in the car I decided you should go in for the world's best loudmouthed and ungrateful sod. All you could say was 'You idiot! She'll never want to see me again!' There's thanks for you! At least the pizza was still there but unfortunately during my escapade of saving your neck it had gone stone cold."
"I never asked you to follow me" said Two.
"No, but if I hadn't, I'd have still got the blame for not being there."
"You wouldn't have"
"Believe me Two, I would."
The came off the motorway and drove down a smaller road into a large estate.
"Why are we here?" asked Two.
One pulled a sheet of paper out his pocket.
"Number 17. Hertside Estate. The Croft Residence" he read.
Two opened his mouth in disgust.
"I swear the Merovingian favours you. You get all the inside info, the driving licence and extra oysters at his dinner parties!"
One shook his head in mock despair.
"Quit complaining!"
~~*Two Brunettes and a Pizza Hut*~~
As soon as they were out of the shop Two rounded on his brother,
"What's the matter with you these days?" he asked.
One gave him a blank look and replied.
"What do you mean? There's nothing 'the matter' with me at all?"
"Could've fooled me" murmured Two.
"What was that?"
"It's just that under any other circumstance you could've taken on those cops and made sure Estelle didn't get away. So why was this time different?"
One shrugged "I guess she must know some tricks from the Merovingian."
They ran the length of the shopping mall, retracing their steps the way they'd come until they reached the exit.
"Oh great!" moaned Two
"What? What is it?" said One as he caught up.
"They've locked the doors!"
"And?" smirked One
"And what?" replied Two "We're locked in. There's no way out!"
One sighed. "When will you ever learn? Come on. There's the fire exit over there." They dashed outside to the car park, tumble into the car and drove off in the direction of the motorway.
There was silence all the way down the motorway and finally One could stand it no longer. He felt he just had to say something, anything. He turned to his brother "Remember the incident with the two girls in the cinema?" he said.
Two grimaced. "Yes. And I don't thank you for bringing that up" he said through gritted teeth.
"Oh lighten up. Everyone has to have a weak point. Yours just happens to be getting your date and her sister mixed up!"
"No I didn't. That's not how I remember it!"
"Well I remember it going something like this. You went out with your date at 7 o clock to the cinema and I just happened to be going the same way as you so-"
"You followed us?"
"No. There just happened to be a great pizza place next to the cinema. I didn't really want to spend the evening with only our lodging rat for company did I? Anyway, I went to get the pizza and watched you and your date go into the cinema. When I came out, I saw your date getting out of a taxi then I realised it wasn't her. She had a blue coat on; this other had a red jacket."
"Carry on." urged Two
"So. I dumped the pizza in the car and followed this girl in, only to find she was going to the exact same movie as you. I bought her a ticket and sat down with her; just as the film was about to start. Then I spotted you on the row in front with your arm round your date. It almost brought a tear to my eye!"
"Shut up" scowled Two.
"Who's telling this story? About an hour into the film and typically just as it was getting interesting, you got up and being the nice, considerate brother I am, I followed you out to see if you were ok. You went to the toilet so I waited on a seat then you came out and didn't even notice me! I was so offended you didn't notice your own brother and I probably missed the best part of the film too.
Two laughed. "I did notice you. I just wanted to make you feel annoyed. Call it payback for following me. And from what I remember, there were no seats outside the toilets, only a large plant and I distinctly remember you hiding behind that."
One cleared his throat, failing to disguise a feeling of embarrassment and continued.
"I followed your back inside the cinema and then, dear brother, I enjoyed one of the best moments of my life. You sat down next to the other girl who I was with and then she kissed you!"
"This is not funny."
"It was for me. And it's about one of the only times I've ever pulled a girl."
Two grinned. "Ah, but you didn't. She kissed me!"
"Ah, but I did. I was the one sitting next to her, remember? But being the brother I am I knew I had to get you out of there before either of them realised what was going on. I ran up to where they play the film and the guy there was asleep. So I reached over him and stopped the film. Then I dashed back into the cinema and there was uproar. I still believe I must've stopped the film at an important part from the noise everyone was making. You'd have thought something terrible had happened"
"But it had" corrected Two "You stopped the very film I'd been wanting to see for ages!"
"Will you stop interrupting? Anyway, in the confusion, I grabbed you away from the girl who thankfully had not noticed you weren't me and was busy arguing with her neighbour about the sudden halt in the entertainment. Your date on the other hand was looking frantically around for you so I dragged you out the back door before anyone, especially your date, could notice. Once we were in the car I decided you should go in for the world's best loudmouthed and ungrateful sod. All you could say was 'You idiot! She'll never want to see me again!' There's thanks for you! At least the pizza was still there but unfortunately during my escapade of saving your neck it had gone stone cold."
"I never asked you to follow me" said Two.
"No, but if I hadn't, I'd have still got the blame for not being there."
"You wouldn't have"
"Believe me Two, I would."
The came off the motorway and drove down a smaller road into a large estate.
"Why are we here?" asked Two.
One pulled a sheet of paper out his pocket.
"Number 17. Hertside Estate. The Croft Residence" he read.
Two opened his mouth in disgust.
"I swear the Merovingian favours you. You get all the inside info, the driving licence and extra oysters at his dinner parties!"
One shook his head in mock despair.
"Quit complaining!"