Knights and Eros Bound
Chapter 14
Kampher wanted to clean up in the fresher before starting, leaving Anakin and Shurke to their own devices before starting the Bonding. Shurke sat down on the bunk, stretching out his lanky form, while Anakin paced nervously around their cramped quarters.
"Sit down, Toboo," Schurke entreated him. "You're as nervous as a Fen-hare! You'd think you've never done this before…"
"I… I haven't…" Anakin admitted. "I mean, I'd heard talk about it but… No, never…"
Schurke raised an eyebrow. "Never Toboo? You who have tasted the pleasure of one…" Here he paused. "Woman… Never?"
"No," Anakin replied, a little embarrassed. He didn't add that he was actually afraid, considering the things he had heard and seen about the ritual. But these were his friends… his companions in arms. He had grown closer to them over the years, perhaps even closer than he was to Obi-Wan, but they had never taken this last step…
"You don't need to be so concerned Toboo…" Schurke reassured him. "Kamph is good at this. She never crosses the line into invasiveness, and the effects only linger for a few days. We'll be able to, well, work together more easily… sense each other faster."
Anakin frowned, still unsure.
"If you're worried that we'll find out your more -shall we say -more 'interesting' secrets, such as how and when you make love to… to your… wife…" Now it was Schurke's turn to scowl. This was still an issue he had a difficult time grasping, but he pressed on. "Unfortunately, that's still your domain unless you're willing to share it. It's a way for us to draw closer, not mental rape…"
"Schurke is right, Anakin…" came Kampher's voice from the fresher. "Although Gris was…is… stronger… with this gift, I can guide us through it effectively."
She began to prepare an infusion of tea apparently lost in thought while Anakin and Schurke watched her wordlessly.
At last she turned back towards them, a cup of steaming tea in each hand[,] with a third sitting on the counter still. She handed them each one in turn and at last took her own and then sat between them. She repeated Schurke's invitation to sit and Anakin complied at last, still fighting the fear that seemed to plague him incessantly.
"When do we start?" Anakin blurted out suddenly, anxious to get started, and thus get it over with. He just couldn't seem to sit still.
"Relax Anakin…" Kampher said with a quiet smile. "Drink your tea and tell us about Padmé."
"Like what?" Anakin answered her carefully, unsure what or where this could possibly lead to.
"Describe her to us…" Kampher replied, her voice soft and low. "Not physically, we know what she looks like… but how she is…"
Anakin took a deep breath and closed his eyes, unaware that Shurke and Kampher had done the same. He brought Padmé to mind… not the imposing young Senator from Naboo, but the woman that she was.
"She is like… spring…" Anakin began, warming to the idea. "Her hair, her eyes… her being…" He felt himself begin to drift as both Kampher and Schurke took each of his hands in theirs. He was dimly aware that Kamph had removed the glove from his mechanical hand but found the idea reassuring now…
"That's good…" came Kampher's voice in the darkness, no longer emanating from across the room, but from everywhere… next to his ear, reaching into his very being. "Now…" came the voice, soft and warm. "Show us…"
Now Padmé was there… he could see her in his mind's eye. She was standing in the meadows of Naboo, beautiful and bare. Her hair was draped over her body like a shroud and yet the lower half of her body was misty and indistinct. No… that's not for you to see, a small part of himself whispered. He knew that Kampher and Schurke were sharing in this… this vision and suddenly he understood. This was the bonding! The sharing! They would see what he was willing to share and no more… Emboldened, he tried to expand upon it, reaching out to touch her and feeling the love and warmth that made up his beloved… his wife…
"Come with me…" came the voice again and he went with it, willing himself to follow where it would lead. He found himself being lead to another (Time? Place?) and he saw the Temple. Other Padawans… friends long gone, lost to the war. He felt laughter and love tinged with insecurity. A feeling (Belonging? Not belonging?) that was familiar yet not his own… of lovers that he had never had… (Schurke?) of finding love and acceptance with Gris and (Himself? Anakin, the man who was himself as well? The feeling was disconcerting yet…) and at last with…
"And again…"
Love, feeling at home… (Mom? No, not Shmi… but a mother's love none the less… Kam?) Family… separation… death… loss. Acceptance under a Jedi Master… (Qui Gon? No… Tahl? Not her master but…someone…)
Now Gris…
"Time to go back..."
Slowly, Anakin began to feel the sensation of waking… he became more and more aware of his current surroundings yet he fought against it.
"I want to know!" He cried out to the ethereal… "What about Gris?"
"Not now… another time…"
The ship and its surroundings lurched back into view, and as Anakin looked at the chrono he realized…
"Hours…" he whispered, incredulous. "But it seemed so…"
"Quick?" Schurke offered genially, He seemed to have shaken off the effects rather quickly. "It always seems that way, especially the first time." He rose and helped Anakin to his feet. "Come on," he said. "Let's put Kampher to bed… this can take a lot out of her."
Anakin reached over and replaced the glove over his hand, once again feeling conspicuous, but perhaps now it was out of habit than any real need to hide it.
"She'll be all right?" he asked, the concern evident in his voice[,] but Schurke's smile put him at ease.
"Let her sleep for a bit… we all should." Schurke told him gently. "Only the Gods know what we'll be facing there…" He brushed Kampher's cheek with a feather light touch as they lay her down on the bunk. Other than that, there was no real discernible difference in his demeanor as the perfect Jedi Knight but, there was a feeling…
"Good night Toboo…" Shurke didn't seem to want to talk about the experience just yet. "In the morning…" he added, as if he could read Anakin's thoughts and confusion. "We'll talk about it then… we still have at least another day before we reach Carratos…"
Anakin nodded in agreement and lay down on his own bunk. He closed his eyes, resigned that sleep would be a long time in coming, and yet wanting to go over these newfound revelations in his mind. He always knew that he and Schurke had been more alike than either of them could ever really admit, but Kampher…
His last thought before sleep laid claim to him was simple yet… monumental… overwhelming….
Kampher knew her mother… and her mother had been a Jedi…