Harry Potter closed his eyes the whole way home from the train station wishing for it all to go away. The pain… the emptiness… the infinite pit that grew deeper in his stomach every time his thoughts trailed back to the day his world crumbled to pieces before his very eyes.
The last week had been perhaps the most disconnected Harry had ever felt from himself and his life. It was as if he were watching from above as his body move through the motions of every day life, the whole time never really knowing what to do. What are you supposed to do when some one you loved best dies? Continuing with your life the next day just doesn't seem right. How do you ignore the gapping whole in your heart?
No…Harry had been off in a daydream. One where Sirius Black, his wide toothed grinning godfather still joked, still breathed, still smirked… but then somehow he always got sucked back into reality. The reality where there was no Sirius constantly worrying over him, fighting for him, loving him. There was no one left to make things right. No one left to remedy the overwhelming pain that had turned to a numb, surreal feeling in Harry's chest.
" Potter- Boy, we're here, get out of the car!" a shrill, displeased voice shouted removing Harry from his thoughts. Harry looked out his window and found Uncle Vernon waiting impatiently outside of the car, it appeared that everyone had vacated the car except him.
Very slowly, as if the yoke of his thoughts were slowing him down, Harry made his way out of the car. Somehow- not quite remembering the path he took to get there, Harrt found himself in his room where the serenity of his bed beckoned him. Harry trudged over to hard mattress surrendering himself to the little refuge it offered: he could fall into the nothingness that was his sleep. For a few hours, he wouldn't have to accept the loss, the hurt, and the sorrow. Closing his eyes blearily Harry lay on the stiff mattress staring into the night sky until blessed sleep washed over him, carrying him into his favorite place as of lately, unconsciousness.
Meanwhile, the Dursley's were left standing in the kitchen pondering the possible reason behind the boy's distance. Not to mention that fact he seemed as though he hadn't heard one of the rood comments any of them had made toward him and his 'kind'. It had looked almost as if the boy couldn't hear them, let alone spit out a re-buddle to their harsh criticism.
Petunia Dursley looked to her husband anxiously.
" What if they come here Vernon… you heard what that god awful thing said," Petunia whispered in reference to Moody, her nose wrinkling in an unpleasant fashion " 'if we don't hear from him at least once every three days we'll send someone to check on things,' Oh- what are we going to do if one of them shows up here? What will the neighbors think?"
" No," Vernon said, his hoarse voice contradicting his confidence, " we'll just have to make sure the boy writes them every other third day. Don't worry dear- the summer will be over before we know it and we can send that- that ungrateful, miscreant boy back to that school for weirdos."
" Oh, I hope so." Petunia said shrewdly, trying to ignore the growing feeling of foreboding in her gut. " I hope so…" She repeated one more time so softly only she could hear it.
" Do you really think it was a good idea to send him back to the Dursleys?" A tired, yet concerned voice asked incredulously from the hearth of Dumbledore's fireplace." I mean… he hasn't even had the chance to…" Remus' throat went dry. He still hadn't been able to speak of Sirius' death.
" Grieve for Sirius?" said Dumbledore softly, piercing Remus with a knowing look.
Poor Remus, Dumbledore thought, first he loses James and Lily fifteen years ago, and now Sirius.
" Yes- that," Remus said sitting heavily down in the chair opposite Dumbledore's desk rubbing the bridge of his nose, " and now he's off living with those Muggles who absolutely despise him and keep it no secret." Dumbledore lowered his head into his hands, rubbing his constantly aching temples, churning the situation round in his head. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how badly he wanted another solution to this predicament, he knew without a doubt there wasn't.
" Remus," Dumbledore began choosing his words carefully, " None of us want to see Harry suffer anymore than he has- believe me, if there was another way, any other way… I would see to it that Harry would be removed immediately, but there isn't. You must trust me blindly on this one- he must go to the Dursley's, he's there and only there, truly safe."
Knowing better than to question Dumbledore, Remus hung his head in defeat and slowly made his way out of the chair and to the door, stopping only before he was standing half way in Dumbledore's office and the staircase that led to the corridors. " I hope you know what you're doing Albus." Said Remus sadly.
Without so much as a goodbye, Remus exited the office leaving Dumbledore alone with a heavy conscious and an even heavier chest. He was scared for the child, no, young man. He didn't know how much more Harry could take. He had already lost so much to Voldemort and his followers, and his words the day of Sirius' death still ring sharp in his ears.
" I WANT OUT! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!"
Praying to every god he remembered the name of, Dumbledore begged that Harry would be okay.
Okay seemed all Dumbledore could ask for these days in reference to Harry. Happy was an emotion he knew someone so young, who had lost and seen so much couldn't experience at the time, so for the first time since Dumbledore had known Harry in the last five years, okay would have to do it.